DrBones
Promise Nothing Deliver Less
Names: Willy Cubano Bolarola
Nicknames/Aliases: Clown, "Shoe Snatchin'" Willy, Get Him
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Fandom: Space Station 13
Age: 26
Gender/Sexuality: Male / Asexual
Species: Human
Appearance: Willy's face is obscured entirely by a thick latex clown mask surrounded by off-white greasepaint makeup. He wears a red-and-white striped jumpsuit under a pair of comically large cherry suspenders, with white gloves and yellow straps. His shoes are enormous, and make an obnoxious squeak with every step. On his lapel is an identification card listing his full name, ID number, workplace, and blood type (A+).
Personality: Willy is capricious, scheming, and impulsive. If there is something Willy wants, he will have it, by hook or crook. At all times, Willy appears friendly and silly; even when he is actively malicious, he will be genuinely cheerful.
Backstory: In the year (2XXX - 75), spacefaring mankind uncovered the rare mineral known as Plasma, an astoundingly effective solid fuel that could freely transition between states with only minimal force. This caused a renaissance in industrial and technological development known as the Purple Rush, owing to the mineral's distinctive purple color. The economic supergiant known as Nanotrasen set to erecting combination mining/production/research facilities everywhere Plasma was found. In response to Nanotrasen's aggressive expansion, its competitors and victims formed the Syndicate, a network of criminal organizations and business fronts dedicated to crushing Nanotrasen wherever possible. Willy was inundated into The Waffle Corporation--the capitalist juggernaut of the Syndicate's component members--and covertly inserted into a position aboard the Nanotrasen station Blue Eagle Five.
At approximately 12:00 station time, Willy received secret orders from his Syndicate handler to perform some vital tasks for the Syndicate. Willy needed to steal the Research Director's jumpsuit, an antique laser rifle, and approximately one mole of gaseous Plasma, and escape alone on an escape pod. At around 12:30 station time, Willy had murdered the station's Captain and Head of Security, disabled all security systems aboard the station, and rigged the station's supermatter engine to cause a catastrophic resonance cascade event. As the supermatter engine vibrated with world-destroying fury, Willy made his escape on one of the handful of escape pods located on the station. As Willy's pod drifted in deep space, he ran afoul of a terrible space wind storm, and disappeared in a twisted gnarl of lagging space-time.
Skills:
Powers/Abilities: None
Weaknesses: As a clown, Willy's clumsiness is a universal constant. On any task he tries to complete, there is a solid 1 in 6 chance of him bungling it, either forcing him to try again or actively hurting him and anyone around him. His looks and personality work together to make him seem as untrustworthy as humanly possible, and nearly impossible to miss even for the blind, deaf, and disabled.
Gear:
Quotes: "Honk!"
Fears: Loud "Bwoink!" noises, slipping, wizardry.
Theme Song:
Nicknames/Aliases: Clown, "Shoe Snatchin'" Willy, Get Him
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Fandom: Space Station 13
Age: 26
Gender/Sexuality: Male / Asexual
Species: Human
Appearance: Willy's face is obscured entirely by a thick latex clown mask surrounded by off-white greasepaint makeup. He wears a red-and-white striped jumpsuit under a pair of comically large cherry suspenders, with white gloves and yellow straps. His shoes are enormous, and make an obnoxious squeak with every step. On his lapel is an identification card listing his full name, ID number, workplace, and blood type (A+).
Personality: Willy is capricious, scheming, and impulsive. If there is something Willy wants, he will have it, by hook or crook. At all times, Willy appears friendly and silly; even when he is actively malicious, he will be genuinely cheerful.
Backstory: In the year (2XXX - 75), spacefaring mankind uncovered the rare mineral known as Plasma, an astoundingly effective solid fuel that could freely transition between states with only minimal force. This caused a renaissance in industrial and technological development known as the Purple Rush, owing to the mineral's distinctive purple color. The economic supergiant known as Nanotrasen set to erecting combination mining/production/research facilities everywhere Plasma was found. In response to Nanotrasen's aggressive expansion, its competitors and victims formed the Syndicate, a network of criminal organizations and business fronts dedicated to crushing Nanotrasen wherever possible. Willy was inundated into The Waffle Corporation--the capitalist juggernaut of the Syndicate's component members--and covertly inserted into a position aboard the Nanotrasen station Blue Eagle Five.
At approximately 12:00 station time, Willy received secret orders from his Syndicate handler to perform some vital tasks for the Syndicate. Willy needed to steal the Research Director's jumpsuit, an antique laser rifle, and approximately one mole of gaseous Plasma, and escape alone on an escape pod. At around 12:30 station time, Willy had murdered the station's Captain and Head of Security, disabled all security systems aboard the station, and rigged the station's supermatter engine to cause a catastrophic resonance cascade event. As the supermatter engine vibrated with world-destroying fury, Willy made his escape on one of the handful of escape pods located on the station. As Willy's pod drifted in deep space, he ran afoul of a terrible space wind storm, and disappeared in a twisted gnarl of lagging space-time.
Skills:
- Accomplished chemist
- Master clown
- Expert juggler, thrower, and surprisingly competent wrestler
- Inexplicably good amateur electrician, engineer, geneticist, Space Law expert, mixologist, chef, construction worker, and cargo technician
Powers/Abilities: None
Weaknesses: As a clown, Willy's clumsiness is a universal constant. On any task he tries to complete, there is a solid 1 in 6 chance of him bungling it, either forcing him to try again or actively hurting him and anyone around him. His looks and personality work together to make him seem as untrustworthy as humanly possible, and nearly impossible to miss even for the blind, deaf, and disabled.
Gear:
- Pomf-Grade Portable Chemical Dispenser (PortaChem): A gift from the gods for performing his demanded tasks without needing any Syndicate assistance, the PortaChem is a supernaturally hyper-miniaturized version of the mundane Nanotrasen Chemical Dispenser. PortaChems are capable of dispensing a wide variety of liquid chemicals if supplied with a suitable container and energy. The PortaChem cannot produce Plasma, and needs to be regularly refueled to synthesize chemicals. New chemical formulas can be programmed into the PortaChem, but this takes a large amount of time, effort, and the respective chemical.
- Clown Loadout: Every Nanotrasen-certified clown comes equipped with a full set of clowning equipment. Includes a box of permanent crayons, a bike horn, a backpack, a fake "flower" that can be loaded with any liquid to squirt at unsuspecting prank victims, a single edible banana, a PDA (with instant messager, credit card system, and super-slippery surface), squeaky shoes, and a silly sound synthesizer.
- Captain's Antique Laser Rifle: A living testament to the uselessness of energy weaponry. The Antique Laser Rifle fires beams of ionized radiation at targets, holds ten shots at maximum charges, and regains one charge every ten seconds. It takes five direct hits to incapacitate a single, unarmored human; substantially more against anyone wearing reflective armor. Obviously, it is completely useless when firing through refractive and distorting surfaces, though it can pass through glass and wire mesh without losing power.
- Research Director's Jumpsuit: A tasteful brown jumpsuit decorated to resemble a tweed jacket and dress pants. Largely useless, though it does look professional.
- Air Tank (Plasma): A large bright blue SCUBA tank, filled with nothing but gaseous Plasma. It's heavy enough to bludgeon someone, and the Plasma inside is both toxic to humans and extremely flammable.
- Tool Belt: A leather belt lined with deep pockets for storing tools. Contains a wirecutters, screwdriver, pocket crowbar, wrench, electronic pulse multitool, coil of electrical cables, and a handheld welding tool.
Quotes: "Honk!"
Fears: Loud "Bwoink!" noises, slipping, wizardry.
Theme Song: