Funniest Quotes OOC or IC from Exalted

I dont know if idiom is the right word for it. It's a minor stupidity at best.


Horatio is the super-cop from CSI, he can sniff the air in a crime scene and finger the killer without a scrap of actual evidence.


He's a mortal who's been power-awarding prana's ith Ten Magistrate Eyes.


Horatio knows everything about you and you've never even met him.
 
I believe the best so far has been from the Eclipse to a Celestial Lion, "Thank you for not eating my head."
 
This is actually from Earthdawn:


A new character was found by the rest of the group, washed up and delerious on the beach. The windling quickly hurried to him and offered him some water.


As soon as the water touched the man's lips, he spit it out, hurling the waterskin at the windling and exclaiming, "What kind of crappy magical mosquito are you? There's no booze in this!"


-S
 
xD awesome, we had some good ones in ED. Our captain, Jonas Duran, was...infamous for his airship raids. At one time he told the senate of Bartertown, "I get results! Not survivors..." Silence pervaded for fifteen minutes in the senate room.


He was given the backup he requested.
 
:waking up: "My hair!"   -- Duke the fast talking dawn caste.


to anyone who's seen Oh brother! Where art thou would get it.
 
"I'm a Dapper Dan man, goddamnit!"


Why have I not made an NPC villain based off John Goodman's character in that movie?  What the fuck?
 
most recent ones for me~~~
As a massive force of realm troops desced on 2 lone solars


Dawn- 10,000 warriors and 500 dragon blooded all here to kill us..... seems like a fair fight


Twlight- did you just learn scarasm?


Dawn (while readying his grand darklaive)- whats scarasm?


later on after the Twlight escaped and met up with the rest of the circle


Eclipse- its good to see you still alive we heard about the assult foce, wait...were's Devon?


Twlight- i tried to save him but he pushed me off the hill we were on to save me..... ~false tears~


Dawn (walking up to the group unharmed)- there you are you little pansy, why the hell did you trip me and run away, im gonna cream your ass


Twlight- what!?!? how are you still alive?


Dawn- oh, they were just wanting directions to Lookshy


this was a very disfunchial group (mostly the coward/ self serving twlight) finally ended after the dawn cast used the twlight for a Thrown weapon on a Behemoth... with a combo included
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LMAO!! I really like the attitude of the dawn caste, and then the reply "oh they were just looking for directions to lookshy"


I HAVE to use this in my game one of these days.
 
"I'd take the Water Immaculate, but I don't want to get my flows reversed."


- One Abyssal to the rest of his group, beset by Immaculates.
 
EccentricNed said:
Necromancer: *Spends about 5minutes describing his act of summoning a ghost, describing in vivid, gothic detail everything from the dimming of the lights to the swirling of salt as the ritual nears it's close, earning 2 stunt dice.*
ST: Pop! A ghost appears. He says waves and says "Hello. My name is Travis."
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...Possibly one of the funniest things I've seen today. i want that ST, now.
 
most recent ones for me~~~
As a massive force of realm troops desced on 2 lone solars


Dawn- 10,000 warriors and 500 dragon blooded all here to kill us..... seems like a fair fight


Twlight- did you just learn scarasm?


Dawn (while readying his grand darklaive)- whats scarasm?


later on after the Twlight escaped and met up with the rest of the circle


Eclipse- its good to see you still alive we heard about the assult foce, wait...were's Devon?


Twlight- i tried to save him but he pushed me off the hill we were on to save me..... ~false tears~


Dawn (walking up to the group unharmed)- there you are you little pansy, why the hell did you trip me and run away, im gonna cream your ass


Twlight- what!?!? how are you still alive?


Dawn- oh, they were just wanting directions to Lookshy


this was a very disfunchial group (mostly the coward/ self serving twlight) finally ended after the dawn cast used the twlight for a Thrown weapon on a Behemoth... with a combo included
Click to expand...
LMAO!! I really like the attitude of the dawn caste, and then the reply "oh they were just looking for directions to lookshy"


I HAVE to use this in my game one of these days.
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there was plenty more like that from that group, including a rip off from the court jester's whole vessle with the pesle routine
 
ST "Killing other player's familiars is not considered socializing."


ST "No it is not an extra action to throw your familiar"
 
Scenario:


The players had fended off one attack by Lintha Pirates while using a first-age weapon that they did not exactly know how to use.


"Give me a rope!" - Said by the Fire-aspect who just recieved the soon-to-be imploding First-Age fire lance after a horrible botch.


No one knows why he asked for a rope, but he got one and jumped overboard, blowing himself and most of the ship up. We thought it hilariously funny to end your heroic existance with "Give me a rope!"
 
StarHawk said:
Sta + Socialize: stay awake though boring negotiations.
Str + Linguistics: Communication through mutilation.
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Reminds me of my Troll in Earthdawn who kept using Str as his "search skill". It is a lot easier to find stuff when you bash up the entire room (walls and floorboard included   :P ).
 
During a mixed oWoD game of Demon and Vampire, my character, A Slayer who was an L.A. detective, found himslelf in the middle of a gang of Sabbat trying to talk to them. In the middle of the conversation that other Demon in the group, a computer specialist who was doing survellience from across the street, calls me up on my cell and tells me about some activities going on that he thought I should know about. After I get off the phone I notice everyone looking at me suspiciously so I break out the old gem of


"Good news, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance!"
 
Choice quotes from last night's game.


Dramatis Personae:


Sevatuan: Zenith Solar; a soldier trying to escape his past


Yngwie Icefist: Night Solar; a constable with an insatiable thirst for knowledge


Quaven Rent: Eclipse Solar; a diplomat from the east with a drive to explore


Balota: Full Moon Lunar. More comfortable as a wolverine or in Deadly Beastman form, he's a beast of few words. Mostly grunts.


GM: It smells sweet.


Balota: Could be death. Could be petunias.


GM: It's cold. Your moonsilver panties are frozen to…


Sevatuan (p): Wait – Moonsilver panties? You’ve got to post that to ECR.


Balota (p): Well, they'd move out of the way on their own...


GM: Your anima bursts into display.


Yngwie (p): What’s his enema?


Sevatuan (p): Anima. Starts with an A.


Quaven (p): I know it starts in the A--.
 
A night caste inside a Immaculate temple, talking to Immaculate monks.


"Anathema have invaded the temple..."


Response- "You're one of them!"


Night caste - "Well yeah..." *Jumps away down the hall"


A Dragon Blood has just killed The Scarlet Empress, to put her out of here misery, who was presently being held captive by the Void Dragon.


Ligier to himself-"HA! Cool"


*Writes on the wall of the room* "F**k You" *Proceeds to run from the Void Dragon*
 
Two Lintha Ships sail towards our own. No sails whatsoever on them, my inquisitive Twilight sends his bound Hekata to stall them.


2 Huge beasts that obviously dragged the ships popm out and eat them.


Twilight: Shiiiiiit.


Dawn: My turn.


So the Dawn mounts his flying horsie-unicorn and walks on the water.


*Back to the Lintha ship*


Pirate: Sir, they are sending one of their own...


Captain: Ha! Those poor sods! They think they can negotiate with the Lintha? Shoot him down!


Pirate: He's...riding a flying horse sir...


The captain has hardly any time to flinch, as the dawn rides into the ship, beats the crap out the crew, bors a hole through the hull and then gets back to our ship, while the remaining Lintha run for their lives.


Dawn: So, Elementals are pretty useful, huh?


Twilight: Shut up
 
Actually from a D&D game, but I still felt it funny...


In a world where gnomes are given 12 names...


When if you goof up on giving your name, it's changed to that...


Our gnome Paladin is now named Dagilly Violet Awh Fuck Hardhead Oh Shit Goosal Wickal Shut Up Mardmil Bippin Waywyn Do I Have To Do It All Garkor Fishfire Deathrancher Of Doom
 
In a mixed circle, the big gun was a gladiator concept Lunar.  The players encountered a creature guarding a cave.


Twilight Caste:  Ok, lets go talk to it and see what it wants to let us pass.


Lunar:  No problem.  I'll take care of it.


Twilight:  Dont cut off the head!


Lunar:  Oops.
 
In a old AD&D game, our main enemy was a Necromancer of great power.  As we were trying to find a way of stoping him, the barbarian had a flash of wisdom


Don't kill the Necromancer; it just makes him mad.
 
"The Dragons Speak to Me" - My Eclipse claimin to be the mouth of peace trying to connvince the wyld hunt not to go after the local "anathema"
 
"The Dragons Speak to Me" - My Eclipse claimin to be the mouth of peace trying to connvince the wyld hunt not to go after the local "anathema"
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And if I remember right, you followed that up by claiming to have tea with them every weekend.


Wasn't this also after you botched your third Temperance roll in a row and asked something like "Can't we just say I freak out or something?"


Good times, definitely.
 
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