Fantasy Freelancer Files (Red vs. Blue)

[Wintermute]

God damn, can you see I hate my country?


Its really a shit place to live in. I'm also an american citizen, so yeah.


 
OH MY GOD


OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD


LOOK WHAT I FOUND


 
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[Shadowborn Omen]

YOU ESS OF MUTHAFUCKIN AYY MUTHAFUCKAAAAAAA


MURICA! MURICA! MURICA!


Sorry, my patriotism capacitor had a short-circuit.

 

[1stLt HChurch]

I think not, inferior ape. We rule you all. You know why? Because when we "discovered" your country we dedicated ourselves to kill, rape, pillage and plunder everything in our way. Giving blankets with smallpox to the indigenous peoples and wiping out so many of them. Then, we took all the gold and smelted it into useless and dull gold ingots, raising inflation in spain oh so much. I'm so fucking proud of my country.
 
I hope one of you brought your sarcasm meter, because it should be going off the charts.

At first, I was like, "You little cockbite." Then, while reading the second sentence, my mental sarcasm meter was going crazy.

 

[Wintermute]

I mean even the stones must of had aids when we were finished there! Literally we raped EVERYTHING


Then people over here whine about the South americans. Im like: "Guess what, dipshit, WE MADE 'EM"

 

[1stLt HChurch]

[QUOTE="Shadowborn Omen]YOU ESS OF MUTHAFUCKIN AYY MUTHAFUCKAAAAAAA
MURICA! MURICA! MURICA!


Sorry, my patriotism capacitor had a short-circuit.

[/QUOTE]
All I understood was 'you', 'murica', and 'muthafucka'. That is all you need to understand to know it's from an American citizen.

 

[TheAncientCelt]

All's I see is a dirt, Communist Robot!

 

[Daimao]

All's I see is a dirt, Communist Robot!

Did someone say communist?

 

[TheAncientCelt]

. . . . God damn it. I forgot Daimao was here . .

 

[Daimao]

Damn fucking straight I am. Fucking American swine.

 

[TheAncientCelt]

You wanna go?!


I'll fucking go.!!


Simmons2.0, get him!

 

[Daimao]

You wanna go?!
I'll fucking go.!!


Simmons2.0, get him!

Chuckles, go!


*Chuckles, the 3,000 Ib bear roars in acknowledgement*

 

[Shadowborn Omen]

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

[Wintermute]

Dai, are you Russian?

 

[Daimao]

Dai, are you Russian?

Born and raised.

 

[1stLt HChurch]

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Oh...My god.....


I would be lying if I said that I am not almost in tears and not deeply fucked up by this. Oh sweet Jesus....

 

[Wintermute]

Knew it. The bear gave it away. Do you ride on top of your bear with a laser bazooka shaped like putin?

 

[Shadowborn Omen]

The Wolf of Wall Street. Holy sheet.

 

[Agent Iceland]

I will be looking forward to RvB 13. The anxiety is settling in.

 

[Wintermute]

Yeah, just saw that trailer early on today.

 

[Daimao]

Knew it. The bear gave it away. Do you ride on top of your bear with a laser bazooka shaped like putin?

Fuck that. I ride my good ol' T-90 Main Battle Tank

 

[Wintermute]

That tank looks angry.

 

[Agent Iceland]

Hm.

 

[Daimao]

That tank looks angry.

No shit. It's Russian. It fires fucking lasers from its eyes.

 

[Wintermute]

It looks like that.

 

[1stLt HChurch]

I'm just not okay right now. I can't function properly.


Church down, Church down!!