ellarose
🌈babe with the power✨ 💖✨👾✨🌈✨👾✨💖
"Mm, I'm okay." Lettie confirms softly, even if 'okay' is a tiny bit of an exaggeration at the moment. Vertigo hits her in a rush the second she moves her head and Juno holds her steady through it. She may not be there yet, she's alive and will be okay and that's what really matters. By the time Juno strokes her cheeks, the room stops spinning and she can devote all of her attention to gazing back at her girlfriend. The faerie gradually calms her heart by matching the rhythm of her breathing to her pirate's. Each one is a reminder that she's breathing. She's alive, she's here. She's got her. Lettie takes Juno in at the same time that Juno takes her in. Taking note of every bandage, the way the swelling over her eye is just in the beginning stages of healing, her shoulder and the concerned crinkle between her brows. (Wearing that tee-shirt. She looks damn good in that shirt.) "You're okay. Thank stars you're okay."
Lettie reels back to the last thing she can remember, inadvertently sending a spike of panic through her all over again. Tears spring to her eyes before she can stop them. I worried you again, didn't I? "I-- I couldn't see very well. I just knew there was a lot of blood and..." Her breath hitches. She can vividly recall how it felt, waking up alone the first time after she lost Lina. Collapsed on the floor of a cold underground cell, weak and deprived of her source. Replaying that horrible moment over and over again. Hating herself for watching, hating herself for being helpless to stop it. She was terrified that history might repeat itself. "There was so much blood. It was hard to see and I couldn't tell if it was yours or..." Her sentences are all broken up, she can hardly articulate the enormity of it. "And I-- I promised..." Lettie buries her face into Juno's uninjured shoulder, letting herself cry it out of her system with abandon instead of faking a smile to smooth it all over. She cries until her chest aches, still purple and bruised from the Duchess's stiletto.
Some time passes and Lettie's eventually able to calm her breathing again. Resting her head against Juno's chest, she listens to the comforting thump-thump of her heartbeat.
"I promised I wouldn't let her hurt you again." Lettie's finally able to say it, though her voice is hoarse from all the weeping. She squeezes her hand. "I wanted to keep my promise. I know I was pushing myself... but I wanted to protect you, like you're always protecting me. We were backed into a corner. I thought if I could get the stewards to change sides..." She shakes her head, at a loss. "But in the end, I saw you and all that blood and wondered if I made another disaster magnet mistake." The faerie sinks against her girlfriend with a long sigh, rubbing little circles against the back of her bandaged knuckles. They're here now, though. Together. Alive. Lettie presses a kiss to Juno's temple. "I'm sorry that I scared you, Juju. I'm really sorry."
Lettie knows about James. And she knows that Juno's scared to death of losing her, too, because she understands all too well what it is to lose somebody who means the world and stars to her. They almost lost each other to that fear of getting too close. Of daring to love each other in a universe that's been so cruel to them.
"There's no goddess at the heart of Avangeline. Just this... horrible monster. The Reaper." Lettie's talking about it before she even realizes she's talking about it. She lifts her scarred wrist slightly between them, staring blankly at it. "It eats faeries. Absorbs their souls and their magic." She lowers her hand and snuggles in closer to Juno for comfort. Her heart races, afraid that the burning sensation may rise in her throat at any second. It never does. So she keeps going. "Those of us who get roped into the faerie ring are fed to it if we don't do what we're told." She manages a small, sad smile. "But you know me. I don't do what I'm told. And neither did Lina." Lina. She never thought she'd get to say her name again...
"We tried to escape... but we got caught. They locked us up, deprived us of our sources, and..." Lettie blinks hard, her lower lip wobbling. Geez. She thought she'd cried all her tears out already. "They made me watch, Juno. They lowered Lina into the pit where the Reaper was waiting and..." She burrows against her again. "I was right there. I was right there and I couldn't move. I couldn't stop it. And those bastards dragged it out as long as they could, lowering her inch by inch like they were trying to throw it in my face that--" She flinches. "That no matter how hard I struggled, they knew with this slimy, smug satisfaction that I wouldn't be strong enough to protect her."
The faerie takes a second to compose herself, her thoughts, reigning back in to the point she's trying to make.
"I stopped making promises after that. I didn't want to set expectations I'd never be able to meet." Lettie muses. "It's why I acted like such a lazy bones faerie when we met. If it turns out I'm not enough in the end, what was the point of trying to get close to anybody?" She peers up at Juno, white eyes boring into gray. "...But then at some point, by complete accident, I got close to you." She scrunches her nose playfully to make it clear that this accident is a happy accident, kissing her on the cheek. A moment later, she sobers. "Seeing how you fight, it... makes me want to try to be enough for you. For us. If I go out, I want to go out knowing I gave it my all. I don't want you to feel for a second like you're fighting on your own."
Emotionally exhausted now that she's emptied her heart, Lettie melts against Juno, idly tracing patterns against her arm. Then she glances at her searchingly. "...What happened back there?" If that blood didn't belong to Juno, then... there are a few conclusions she can come to on her own. The realization flickers in her eyes, but she still has questions. "Are you okay?" She takes the pirate's hand in her own, moving them over her heart. "...Here, I mean." She kisses her forehead. "And here."
Lettie reels back to the last thing she can remember, inadvertently sending a spike of panic through her all over again. Tears spring to her eyes before she can stop them. I worried you again, didn't I? "I-- I couldn't see very well. I just knew there was a lot of blood and..." Her breath hitches. She can vividly recall how it felt, waking up alone the first time after she lost Lina. Collapsed on the floor of a cold underground cell, weak and deprived of her source. Replaying that horrible moment over and over again. Hating herself for watching, hating herself for being helpless to stop it. She was terrified that history might repeat itself. "There was so much blood. It was hard to see and I couldn't tell if it was yours or..." Her sentences are all broken up, she can hardly articulate the enormity of it. "And I-- I promised..." Lettie buries her face into Juno's uninjured shoulder, letting herself cry it out of her system with abandon instead of faking a smile to smooth it all over. She cries until her chest aches, still purple and bruised from the Duchess's stiletto.
Some time passes and Lettie's eventually able to calm her breathing again. Resting her head against Juno's chest, she listens to the comforting thump-thump of her heartbeat.
"I promised I wouldn't let her hurt you again." Lettie's finally able to say it, though her voice is hoarse from all the weeping. She squeezes her hand. "I wanted to keep my promise. I know I was pushing myself... but I wanted to protect you, like you're always protecting me. We were backed into a corner. I thought if I could get the stewards to change sides..." She shakes her head, at a loss. "But in the end, I saw you and all that blood and wondered if I made another disaster magnet mistake." The faerie sinks against her girlfriend with a long sigh, rubbing little circles against the back of her bandaged knuckles. They're here now, though. Together. Alive. Lettie presses a kiss to Juno's temple. "I'm sorry that I scared you, Juju. I'm really sorry."
Lettie knows about James. And she knows that Juno's scared to death of losing her, too, because she understands all too well what it is to lose somebody who means the world and stars to her. They almost lost each other to that fear of getting too close. Of daring to love each other in a universe that's been so cruel to them.
"There's no goddess at the heart of Avangeline. Just this... horrible monster. The Reaper." Lettie's talking about it before she even realizes she's talking about it. She lifts her scarred wrist slightly between them, staring blankly at it. "It eats faeries. Absorbs their souls and their magic." She lowers her hand and snuggles in closer to Juno for comfort. Her heart races, afraid that the burning sensation may rise in her throat at any second. It never does. So she keeps going. "Those of us who get roped into the faerie ring are fed to it if we don't do what we're told." She manages a small, sad smile. "But you know me. I don't do what I'm told. And neither did Lina." Lina. She never thought she'd get to say her name again...
"We tried to escape... but we got caught. They locked us up, deprived us of our sources, and..." Lettie blinks hard, her lower lip wobbling. Geez. She thought she'd cried all her tears out already. "They made me watch, Juno. They lowered Lina into the pit where the Reaper was waiting and..." She burrows against her again. "I was right there. I was right there and I couldn't move. I couldn't stop it. And those bastards dragged it out as long as they could, lowering her inch by inch like they were trying to throw it in my face that--" She flinches. "That no matter how hard I struggled, they knew with this slimy, smug satisfaction that I wouldn't be strong enough to protect her."
The faerie takes a second to compose herself, her thoughts, reigning back in to the point she's trying to make.
"I stopped making promises after that. I didn't want to set expectations I'd never be able to meet." Lettie muses. "It's why I acted like such a lazy bones faerie when we met. If it turns out I'm not enough in the end, what was the point of trying to get close to anybody?" She peers up at Juno, white eyes boring into gray. "...But then at some point, by complete accident, I got close to you." She scrunches her nose playfully to make it clear that this accident is a happy accident, kissing her on the cheek. A moment later, she sobers. "Seeing how you fight, it... makes me want to try to be enough for you. For us. If I go out, I want to go out knowing I gave it my all. I don't want you to feel for a second like you're fighting on your own."
Emotionally exhausted now that she's emptied her heart, Lettie melts against Juno, idly tracing patterns against her arm. Then she glances at her searchingly. "...What happened back there?" If that blood didn't belong to Juno, then... there are a few conclusions she can come to on her own. The realization flickers in her eyes, but she still has questions. "Are you okay?" She takes the pirate's hand in her own, moving them over her heart. "...Here, I mean." She kisses her forehead. "And here."