Character Assistance

[Fable]

by that do you mean the effort it took on the character or the description of the writing?

You need to try and imply a passage of time. It's too quick of a recovery basically, to have a character be removed, then write within two sentences they have returned to exactly what they were doing. It takes away the opportunity of others to react that are still within the gym.

I'm not saying you can't do it, but that your character needs to infer some sort of "Fack, I'm all the way over here, I gotta get over there. I'm gonna run, oh hey, need a lift my fellow?! CHARGE!"

not exactly like that, but hope it gets the point a bit

 

[Daunting_Doggo]

I'm not saying you can't do it, but that your character needs to infer some sort of "Fack, I'm all the way over here, I gotta get over there. I'm gonna run, oh hey, need a lift my fellow?! CHARGE!"

Oh right I understand, I will go ahead and do that then, should I notify you when I finished?

 

[StoneWolf18]

He is, in fact, elusive, so he would likely dodge it for just a few seconds before entering. Especially since he moved quite quickly when the portal came around. And it really doesn't matter. Either the portal gets him while jumping or talking so it would have not feasible or discernable difference in the outcome.

Your dodge roll failed, meaning he wouldn’t have had a chance to shoot at her. There. Problem solved.

 

[Zaltusinel]

Please, please PLEASE, do NOT do this trope. Honestly, this is a serious pet peeve of mine. If you're going to separate your personalities, that means you need to have a mental illness, such as DID. Earlier it seemed to just reference his form, not a separate entity within him. You are you in all forms.

Are these made for a wolf's head?

When did he change back?

Denied. She could barrel into you, this is part of "auto-hit" rules. You are assuming what another PC is going to do. You can plan a reaction in OOC, but do not ever assume.

If you're going to have him return after the portal post, you need to expand on the effort it took to get there. Not "and he was there!" kind of post.

-sigh- I get you're trying to be preemptive, don't. React to what happens, not what you think will happen.

A) It's not a mental illness, it's just a shorthand for his wolf's senses and what he perceives while a wolf. No intention of having multiple personalities. It's distinction between the two forms and what each form is perceiving. Its better than writing the whole damn thing out that always ruins immersion. Also, the headphones fit. A wolf's proportions in respects to the top of the skull to the ears tend to be wider and somewhat shorter than a human. It roughly comes out the same, given that the headphones are small themselves. Which I will delineate to be smaller for this respect and overall fix if this won't work. Its more for characterization than anything. Also, I will fix the form change identification issue

B) I can change the wording to better suit the original intention since it seems it has the wrong connotation.

C) I understand, won't be too much of a problem.

D) Here is where I start to get slightly concerned with your comment. I am not anticipating what Mara will do. It's more of a "battle tactic" (as I like to call it). Zeke has no bloody clue on her movements due to the passage of time that I will work on. Also, your statement is by the logic of characters and tactical understanding is illogical. No one is completely reactive, people are going to think ahead and plan their moves accordingly. This rule is hindering a natural path of thinking and it is easy to write with.

Other comments: I totally understand. Before the transportation shouldn't matter too terribly much and I can shorten the time if necessary. I'll add some reactions in the middle to give a short of time gap so things will be smoothened.

 

[WolfSol]

So complete DnD then when it comes to "In-game knowledge" and turns, gotcha. (I've never done RPs with rolls, this will be cool~)

Depending on how much is changed, if necessary, I will change my post as well.

 

[Daunting_Doggo]

Right, I fixed my post in order to better signify how far away we got teleported, and I also said that I would let two people hitch a hike back, so if you want one please go ahead and write a post for that. Sorry for the inconvenience.

 

[JustNicole]

WolfSol idk if Zole would do this or not, but the "correct" thing to call him would be Officer Duadoch

 

[Zaltusinel]

Just to be clear. I am amendable. I just don't want common mistakes or rules to be made.

 

[StoneWolf18]

A) It's not a mental illness, it's just a shorthand for his wolf's senses and what he perceives while a wolf. No intention of having multiple personalities. It's distinction between the two forms and what each form is perceiving. Its better than writing the whole damn thing out that always ruins immersion. Also, the headphones fit. A wolf's proportions in respects to the top of the skull to the ears tend to be wider and somewhat shorter than a human. It roughly comes out the same, given that the headphones are small themselves. Which I will delineate to be smaller for this respect and overall fix if this won't work. Its more for characterization than anything. Also, I will fix the form change identification issue

Then make sure you don’t identify “the wolf” as a separate entity. Its something we’re both not fans of.

D) Here is where I start to get slightly concerned with your comment. I am not anticipating what Mara will do. It's more of a "battle tactic" (as I like to call it). Zeke has no bloody clue on her movements due to the passage of time that I will work on. Also, your statement is by the logic of characters and tactical understanding is illogical. No one is completely reactive, people are going to think ahead and plan their moves accordingly. This rule is hindering a natural path of thinking and it is easy to write with.

When writing combat, attempts are everything. You don’t do something, you attempt to do something. Regardless of this, I found your post hard to follow an confusing. What the hell is he even doing around Mara? What’s with the acrobatics and looking all pretty? He’d be dead in a real fight by now if that were the case.

 

[Kloudy]

Then make sure you don’t identify “the wolf” as a separate entity. Its something we’re both not fans of.


When writing combat, attempts are everything. You don’t do something, you attempt to do something. Regardless of this, I found your post hard to follow an confusing. What the hell is he even doing around Mara? What’s with the acrobatics and looking all pretty? He’d be dead in a real fight by now if that were the case.

In a real fight, that portal would have spit Mr. Wolf directly into Janus' sword. ;3

Jk jk Zalt

 

[StoneWolf18]

Also, the headphones fit. A wolf's proportions in respects to the top of the skull to the ears tend to be wider and somewhat shorter than a human. It roughly comes out the same, given that the headphones are small themselves. Which I will delineate to be smaller for this respect and overall fix if this won't work. Its more for characterization than anything. Also, I will fix the form change identification issue

????¿¿¿¿????

 

[Zaltusinel]

Then make sure you don’t identify “the wolf” as a separate entity. Its something we’re both not fans of.


When writing combat, attempts are everything. You don’t do something, you attempt to do something. Regardless of this, I found your post hard to follow an confusing. What the hell is he even doing around Mara? What’s with the acrobatics and looking all pretty? He’d be dead in a real fight by now if that were the case.

I only use Wolf stand alone once in the entire post. Form usually comes after. The identification should not be an issue.

In some cases yes, a lot of what he is doing is character based. This is an evaluation where he is trying to pretend to do the objective yet still prove himself at the same time. Also, you would be surprised by how such high mobility in itself is a weapon. Ninjas, modern warfare, and modern terrorism all show how mobility is very practical in the right hands. He's basically taking airborne shots at Mara, which is one of his little skills. Mostly narcissistic show-off ness than anything honestly. He's also trying to legitimately miss as well.

 

[Zaltusinel]

????¿¿¿¿????

A cartoon wouldn't be a very reliable source of animal dimensions. Also, I will make these headphones smaller, to help increase the "realism" of the actions they are used for.

 

[Kloudy]

A cartoon wouldn't be a very reliable source of animal dimensions. Also, I will make these headphones smaller, to help increase the "realism" of the actions they are used for.

Wouldn't the headphones fall off regardless of size, given all the backflips and stunts?

 

[Blaire Wisteria]

Wouldn't the headphones fall off regardless of size, given all the backflips and stunts?

Can't you see, he has surgically attached them to the sides of his skull for maximum music listening.

 

[Zaltusinel]

Woul

Can't you see, he has surgically attached them to the sides of his skull for maximum music listening.

dn't the headphones fall off regardless of size, given all the backflips and stunts?

They would be smaller, fitting snuggly on him and have little gravity on them. So the force to rip them off of his head would be small, likely small enough to stay on.

 

[Zaltusinel]

Then make sure you don’t identify “the wolf” as a separate entity. Its something we’re both not fans of.


When writing combat, attempts are everything. You don’t do something, you attempt to do something. Regardless of this, I found your post hard to follow an confusing. What the hell is he even doing around Mara? What’s with the acrobatics and looking all pretty? He’d be dead in a real fight by now if that were the case.

Also, for clarification. I will hint more at the flat guess he's making. Just to help clarity.

 

[Zaltusinel]

Fable Is everything alright so far or should I make more changes than discussed?

 

[Zaltusinel]

I believe I hit everything needed for amendments. I will check again. Eitherway, I think everything should be resolved now. Sorry about that...

 

[Fable]

D) Here is where I start to get slightly concerned with your comment. I am not anticipating what Mara will do. It's more of a "battle tactic" (as I like to call it). Zeke has no bloody clue on her movements due to the passage of time that I will work on. Also, your statement is by the logic of characters and tactical understanding is illogical. No one is completely reactive, people are going to think ahead and plan their moves accordingly. This rule is hindering a natural path of thinking and it is easy to write with.

The issue is was covered by Stone, but I want to add:

Would is past tense of will. Will is a definite statement. :\ Adding in things like "would attempt" "would try" works better to show it's not being said in a definitive manner.

I only use Wolf stand alone once in the entire post. Form usually comes after. The identification should not be an issue.

About this, you specifically stated that the wolf heard the conversation, why would this happen? If he is who he is in all forms, it can be viewed as a separate entity was listening. It put off that whole "my inner best" vibe that makes for terrible werewolf fanfiction. X3

Oh the headphones things;

X3 I mean, I don't know about you, but as a human I have trouble keep headphones on just doing jumping jacks. A wolf doing flips? How even? X3

Figured I reply to these first before going back to review your edit. My response was delayed cause I had to take care of something. But I left StoneWolf18 in charge while I was gone cause she's a co-gm basically. But not so deep so that she can enjoy the RP without knowing anything plot wise, before anyone brings that up, lol. Stone has no idea what is going on in the background of the world, huehue.

 

[Blaire Wisteria]

The issue is was covered by Stone, but I want to add:

Would is past tense of will. Will is a definite statement. :\ Adding in things like "would attempt" "would try" works better to show it's not being said in a definitive manner.



About this, you specifically stated that the wolf heard the conversation, why would this happen? If he is who he is in all forms, it can be viewed as a separate entity was listening. It put off that whole "my inner best" vibe that makes for terrible werewolf fanfiction. X3

Oh the headphones things;

X3 I mean, I don't know about you, but as a human I have trouble keep headphones on just doing jumping jacks. A wolf doing flips? How even? X3

Figured I reply to these first before going back to review your edit. My response was delayed cause I had to take care of something. But I left StoneWolf18 in charge while I was gone cause she's a co-gm basically. But not so deep so that she can enjoy the RP without knowing anything plot wise, before anyone brings that up, lol. Stone has no idea what is going on in the background of the world, huehue.

Yet...

 

[StoneWolf18]

Yet...

Huehuehue....

 

[Light]

Finally finished, reading and typing that took way longer than it should have!

 

[JustNicole]

Finally finished, reading and typing that took way longer than it should have!

that is a uhhh.....

interesting character and post

 

[Light]

that is a uhhh.....

interesting character and post

Yeah...I'm going to have a lot of fun with Victavia. If I can explain her in one sentence to you it would go like this. A vampire servant/slave that doesn't know sarcasm, slang, and jokes exist so she takes every world in a literal sense. I fear for her life expectancy here...