Castouts (Accepting new characters)

Julian barely meets Liselle's eyes, feeling his cheeks still slightly heated even in the cold at her words. It's not that he really thinks she /really/ likes him, or enjoys being around him, or that he /really/ thinks she would do anything to harm him. Liselle is not like most girls, with their teasing and whispers, their cutting eyes and smirks...Liselle is not cruel, that he has witnessed.


Liselle is not Madison.


Still, she is a girl, and she is more confident by far than Julian, and Julian never knows what to say to her, or what she thinks when she looks at him. What would she think, if she knew the truth of who he was and what he had done? Of course she would be disgusted...would she be afraid?


"Yeah...it's still early though," he says softly. "Maybe I should wait until afternoon."


He hesitates, then, licking his lips, mumbles, "Liselle? What will you do today?"


Almost immediately he kicks himself for the question. It sounds like he's asking for an invitation.


***


Katarina looks away from Christina somewhat awkwardly as she sits on the edge of her own bed, digging at her cuticle with her thumb. She rarely knows what to say to her sister anymore, when they aren't fighting. They had never been close,even as little girls, even before the fire....and now it seems like she can just not relate to Chris, just not reach her, no matter how much she wants to, or how much she tries.


It's easier with her brothers. Kyle and Xander...it's just different. But Chris...Katarina loves her, but it's hard to just be with her. Even to like her, sometimes. And as guilty as she feels over that, she can't make it different. It's not like Chris makes it easy.


She wishes she could talk to her, have fun with her, that it didn't feel awkward to touch or hug her. Sometimes she tried...but it just wasn't the same with Chris.


Swinging one leg over the side of the bed, she continues to poke at one cuticle, making an effort to say something else to her. "It's freezing."


She is glad when Xander opens the door and comes in with Kyle, flashing them a genuine smile and sitting up straight. "Morning."


**


As Rikarah is speaking with Shira and Castiel in her newest room, eyeing its interior, she hears voices filling the hall, both female, one quite young. Raising an eyebrow, she gestures towards the hallway, saying to them, "Do you have other guests as well, or is someone else hoping to join us?"
 
Both Cas and Shira had heard the voices as well and were staring at the corner. The voices seemed to be close.


"No. We don't have any guests . . ." A bit on edge, Cas grabbed a broken discarded lamp from the floor. Clutching it tightly, he peeked around the corner to see two girls he didn't recognize. His eyes fell to the younger of the two, who couldn't be older that 5 or 6 years old. The lamp in his hand dropped and his eyes widened. Suddenly the air around his lightened to the point where you could picture a pink sparkly background.


He picked up the little girl in a tight hug and spun her around. "SOOOOO CUUUTE!"


After a few spins, Shira kicked Cas' leg, forcing him to put the girl down and double over to massage his leg. He was embarrassing when he acted like that ;it was that attitude of his, along with his odd frailty, that earned him the nickname Princess.


The pale haired girl stared at the new arrivals. "What are you doing in our home?"
 
Natalia had been hand in hand with Terabithia as they had been spotted. Her body tensed at seeing the lamp, used as a weapon and her hand instantly went to the knife she kept hidden in her jacket. But then the boy dropped the lamp, upon seeing Terabithia and he swept up the younger girl in a hug.


Terabithia, a bit frightened at first when seeing the lamp, then giggled as she was picked up and spun around, "Weeeeee!" But then she pouted as she was put back down again, instantly being grabbed by Natalia and pushed behind the older girl.


As the pale younger girl spoke, Natalia's icy blue eyes flashed to her, Terabithia's head popped out from behind her as she peered at the three older kids, her long ginger hair comically draping to one side and falling down to the ground as she grinned at Cas.


"Your home?" Natalia rose an eyebrow, "This is an abandoned theatre, not a sweet little house." She folded her arms, one hand inside her pocket and fingering the knife, ready to pull it out at any moment. From the girl's appearance, the only sign of homelessness was the baggy, tattered grey hoodie that she wore and the blue bruise on her chin. She had her chin slightly tilted however, so it gave the appearance that she was looking down on the three people infront of her.


Terabithia had been sizing each of the new people up silently as Natalia spoke to them, finally deciding that none of them seemed to be scary and big enough to hurt her and/or Blue, and even if they were, Blue and her could just run. So she stepped around Natalia, smiling up at the taller kids, "I'm Terabithia, like the magical place in that film, and this is Blue! We're sorry! We didn't know anybody lived here but me and Blue really want to play dress up and put plays on and sleep here because we don't have anywhere else to sleep." Natalia glared at the child, "Abi! You can't just go around telling every stranger you see our names and our whole freakin' life stories!" She threw her hands down to her side, the knife remaining in her pocket. "But Blueeee! I didn't tell them your real name and it doesn't matter that I told them MY real name because I didn't say my last name like you told me not to!" "ABI! How many little girls do you think there are in this world with the name TERABITHIA!" "I don't know, maybe a hundred?" Natalia groaned covering her face with her hand, "Count to ten....just count to ten." After ten seconds, she turned and faced the three kids, folding her arms again, "We wanna stay here. Unless any of you are murder-crazed psychopaths." Terabithia grinned, looking at Cas, "Pleaseeeee can we stay here? I really wanna play dress-up with Blue!" Natalia rolled her eyes, "I am NOT playing dress-up with you Terabithia." Terabithia shrugged, then covering the side of her face that was facing Natalia, she 'whispered' to the others, "She will!" Natalia shook her head, still staring at the three with a challenge in her eyes, using her icy gaze to threaten them to deny their stay.
 
Rikarah blinks, slightly startled, but more amused as Castiel picks Terabithia up and twirls her around, one eyebrow arching. She had hardly expected this reaction, given what Castiel has shown her so far. Obviously he has a soft spot for little girls.


Rikarah has rarely been around children, and so she sizes Terabithia up with more studious scrutiny than emotion, then smiles at her. The child is harmless enough from what she can gather, though very enthused. It is Natalia that she reserves judgment on.


"This is my room we are standing outside of," she tells the girls, "but Terabithia, you may wear any clothing in your size, of course. It is nice to meet you." Her eyes turn to Natalia, and she adds, "You may look as well. I am sure that whatever fits me will not fit either of you anyway. It is not up to me as to whether you stay, because I was not here first. In fact, I have barely arrived myself. But Castiel seems agreeable, judging by his response to Terabithia."


Inwardly she smirks to herself over the child's comment about psycho killers...if only she knew.


***


Katarina moves aside on the bed, making room for either Kyle or her twin to sit with her as she nods towards the door. "Shut it fast, you're letting in the cold...maybe we should eat under the covers today."
 
(He has a weakness for all small children, but not in a pedo way.)


Cas nodded. "Of course. Shira never wants to play dress up with me." He smiled at Terabithia. He had always loved small children, probably because of the little sister he left behind. He thought of all the old costumes the two could try on. Of course he'd have to beat the dust out of them but they were in decent shape. But he froze when Blue mentioned psycho killer. His eyes quickly jumped to Shira. Her hypnotism seemed unfazed by her words and he prayed that it would stay that way. "By the way, my name is Cas and this is my sister, Shira."


Shira stared at the two girls with a blank look. She seemed to be thinking for a while. After a second, she gave a small smile and pointed down the hallway behind her. "There are empty rooms down there you both can use." She didn't know why but having more people around was a bit soothing, almost familiar, to her. The young girl contributed it to her missing her deceased parents and gave it no other thought.
 
Ugh cold pop tarts that's so gross did you at least get the good chocolate fudge kind or cherry? *Pushes the door open and walks in and sits on the floor, remembering I got paid the day before and pull a bunch of crumbled bills out of my pocket* I got this last night it's only 30 dollars, I'll get more when I go out today. Maybe we can get some lunch meat and some bread today for dinner. *miss having hot meals and soda for dinner but those are rare luxuries we can no longer afford*


I saw some old bikes behind the pawn shop I think we could grab them if we're careful, one of them looks like the bike mom and dad got me last year for my birthday so I'm gonna try and get it later today so I don't have to walk everywhere.


(ugh so short but I'm having total writer's block)
 
A flick of a lighter; inhale of breath. Embers coming to life as he inhaled the toxic fumes. Smoke danced away faster than he could take hits and Sebastian would be reminded once more why he avoided generics. A sigh and exhale, smoke decenergrating into the evening breeze. A led screen would light up as he checked his phone. "Seven fifteen. Bastard's never late" he would mumble to himself, scrolling through his contacts until he found the name Charlie. There would be three rings before the answering machine clicked on.


Sliding his phone closed, ending the call without leaving a message, Sebastian would sigh, going to take a hit as ash fell lifelessly from his burnt out cigarette, tempted to throw away the whole damned pack before smoking the worthless sticks. Three rings, some sort of surveillance, Sebastian wasn't meeting any his contacts tonight. Easy enough that would mean holding off on throwing out the generics just in case, you never know when you might need a smoke after all. And if they were actually being watched, it might be awhile until Sebastian saw some green again. He was hopeful that it was just Charles being paranoid, as his usual self was most inclined to be. Either way Sebastian was done here for the night and he would push up from the park bench and reach for a new cigarette, perhaps distractions wouldn't keep him from enjoying it, his bittersweet farewell.
 
Terabithia squealed a bit too loudly for Natalia's liking and she winced, "Geesh Abi, calm down." She then looked to the three who had so easily accepted them, too easily. Although she thought they had welcomed them quickly, and that none of the three seemed to be mentally insane, she knew she'd keep an eye out. Of course there was the option of leaving now, but that was barely an option. Like it or not, Natalia wasn't just looking out for herself anymore, she needed to look after Terabithia, not that she'd ever say that aloud.


"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Terabithia grinned at the three, bouncing up and down on the spot with her excitement, "Me and Blue are used to performing! We pretend like we are sisters to strangers and we sometimes act like I'm upset so that Blue can take people's money and----" She cuts herself off, looking up at Blue with an unintentional pout, "Was I supposed to tell them that?" Natalia shakes her head, "No Abi, you weren't. Didn't your parents ever tell you not to talk to strangers? You need to work on that." She turns back to the three, "My name is Natalia, Abi just calls me Blue as a nickname." Natalia then looks to Rikarah, as if asking her with her eyes what her name is.


Terabithia meanwhile, is looking around, still standing beside Natalia as she lets her gaze travel over the walls and she tilts her head to look up at the ceiling, "Blueeee? Do you think there's ghosts here?"


Xander grins as he enters, "Heya girls!" He plonks the box down as Kyle begins to talk, only really seeming to show interest at the bit about bikes, "Bikes?" He glances to his twin and then takes a seat beside her, waiting for her opinion on the matter. They always asked each other about things like this first before making a decision. Even though Xander claimed to have some sort of superiority over Rina because of his few minute head start on life, they were still technically the same age, so they both had to make the decisions together.


He grins at her, "You guys cold too? Want me to make a tent with the covers so that we can eat inside it's warmness?" He then glances to Christian, "Hey Chris, you feel like eating breakfast in a tent this morning?" His tone kept it's usual perkiness, not changing when he spoke to Christian. Even though he hated what had happened to her, and always had that guilty feeling in his chest when he looked at her, she was still Chris, and treating her differently from everyone else was just a way of isolating her.
 
Rikarah continues to regard Terabithia with growing interest, her lips quirking slightly as she listens to her excited speech. The relationship of the two is interesting. She is unsure of whether they are related by blood, but certainly they appear to share a bond. The urge is slightly stronger now to probe them, to look beyond surface appearances. What would a child like Terabithia, one seemingly so unscarred and happy, be homeless for? What circumstances would bring her to Natalia?


Natalia she is not as interested in, and only responds to when the girl looks at her for her name. "I am Rikarah," she says easily; she has no difficulty sharing her new name, as it is not truly hers at all. As Terabithia walks down the hall, she says in reply to her statement about ghosts, "I have seen nothing, Terabithia, but then, ghosts are generally invisible, aren't they?"


**


Katarina frowns as she looks at Kyle first, then Xander, considering his suggestion. She herself has never been exactly coordinated, and cannot remember the last time she has ridden a bike. And what about Chris?


"I'm not great at stealing big things," she muttered, her cheeks coloring at this admittance, then she said more clearly, "And there's Chris, she can't ride a bike. But you can, Kyle. And Xander. We can be lookouts, or something."


At Xander's suggestion of the tent, she shrugs, not enthused, and pulls the covers more tightly around herself, leaning against Xander's shoulder. "Um, out of what, exactly? There's no chairs or anything. How would you make a tent?"
 
If we both are real quiet we could get them before anyone notice and yeah if Kat and Chris lookout for the old woman that runs the shop it would be easy and maybe we wouldn't have to walk everywhere and Xander could teach you both how to ride so we can share. *Picking up the pop tart, not realizing how nervous I am about the group making this decision I don't notice the pop tart is heating in my hands it's not until I can smell it that I realize what I'm doing and drop it on the floor then quickly shoving my hands back in my pockets and quickly start apologizing* I'm sorry I didn't mean it I'm sorry! *staring down at the now burnt pop tart* I didn't mean it.
 
"I just meant...how is Chris going to ride a bike if she can't totally see everything?" Katarina pointed out, even though her face reddened slightly as she spelled out the obvious, and she didn't look at either Kyle or Christina. She always felt awkward and wrong to speak aloud about Chris's blindness, especially with her sitting there hearing her, but sometimes it just had to be done.


She smells the smoke before she realizes what is happening with Kyle and his Pop Tart, and her eyes widen, her stomach twisting before she realizes that there is not yet an actual fire. Jumping up from Xander, she goes to Kyle and rests a hand on his shoulder, swallowing, then gives him a half hug. The poor guy looks petrified, and she steals a glance at Chris as she says to him softly, "Hey, it's okay. Nothing happened, right, just get another Pop Tart."


She looks at Xander after speaking though, and the concern in her eyes is clear.
 
Cas' ears hurt a bit from Abi's scream but he was too excited to notice. Then when he heard the little girl's question about ghosts, he was about to open his mouth to speak but Shira had gotten there first.


"Of course there are no ghosts here. Cas already scared them all away." She then turned to look at her brother.


He had an awkward smile on his face. "Sure . . . " He didn't believe that there were any ghosts in the old theater but he wondered how Shira got the thought that he scared them off. It certainly wasn't planted in there during his hypnosis sessions and he didn't mention anything about spirits to her. But then again, Shira loved stories about the supernatural so she probably made it up.


His eyes narrowed a bit when he heard how the latest addition to their household made their money. To pull off a scheme like that, you'd have to be crafty. Now Terabithia was innocent enough to reveal the plan to them so easily, so the mastermind had to be Natalia. He made a mental note to watch out for her. Still, he couldn't kick them out when he had already said yes. He was really looking forward to playing with Terabithia. And Shira seemed almost happy to have more company, probably due to her days in the circus when she had many "brothers and sisters". He quickly slapped the thought of their old lives out of his head and turned to smile at the latest additions. "I expect you won't bring any trouble back here will you?"
 
Xander shrugs as his twin seems slightly against the idea of tent building, "Nevermind, I just thought it'd be a bit of fun." He then looks to Kyle, "Sure bro, I don't mind getting a bike. Although Kat's right, maybe we should leave the bike riding up to us boys."





But then Xander smells smoke, and Kyle has burnt the pop-tart, and Katarina is beside him, consoling him, his own fear of fire kicks up a bit, and he immediently looks to Chris, thinking about getting her out before he realizes a fire didn't start. It's okay. Rina looks up at him and he sees the concern, he gives her the same look back, not sure if their concerns are matched or not. Xander is worried, worried that if Kyle can't control his power over a simple dicussion, then what happens if he gets into real trouble, what if he starts another fire? And what if Chris gets caught in it this time, or Rina, even Kyle himself.


No. He couldn't think about it. He knew he needed to find a way to help Kyle, but the problem was that he had no idea how to help him. How could he teach him to control it when he didn't even know how himself?


"Hey, don't worry Kyle. Just grab another one, 'kay?" Xander gets up, swiping up a pop tart for Christina, and takes it over to her, "Here Chris, you want a pop tart?" He offers her the food, sitting beside her.


Terabithia looks to Rikarah as she speaks, grinning at her, "You look like an evil sort of fairy on this tv show I used to watch. She was really really pretty too, but she wasn't very nice." She smiles at her, "But you seem really nice, maybe we can put on plays together too?" Terabithia then turned her attention back to the ghosts as she grins at Cas, still bouncing slightly with her excitement, "Yay! I don't really like ghosts, my mummy used to tell me that some of them are nice, but some of them are evil so I had to stay away from them. I only ever met one ghost though, and I only saw her once because I had to go, but she was nice."


Natalia looks to Terabithia as she mentioned her parents, the girl had already completed opened up to her about what happened to her parents, of course why wouldn't she? And she was still shocked at how easily she spoke about them. Natalia lets her sharp gaze go back to Castiel as he spoke about not bringing trouble back; she had mentally noted Rikarah's name. She stuck her chin up a little defiantly but spoke normal, "Of course I won't, we usually don't get into trouble anyway." Terabithia looked to Natalia, so used to paying attention to her voice, "We never get in trouble Blue, it's only when you're silly and go by yourself, then you get into trouble." Natalia glared at the child, yet Terabithia seemed not at all affected by the harsh look, "Not all the time Abi." "You get into trouble more than I do, I don't ever get into trouble." "That's because you're cute." "And because you look after me Blue." Natalia rolled her eyes, "If I don't who will? I could try and hoist you off on a random stranger, but you always seem to find a way back." Terabithia just grinned at Natalia, grabbing the older girl's hand as she looks at the other three kids, "What room can me and Natalia have?"
 
*Refusing to look anyone in the eyes, I stare at the floor* I don't know why it keeps happening, I keep waking up thinking I'm on fire, I'm to scared to even close my eyes, I think I should get my own room on the other side of the building cause I'm putting everyone in danger, I can't control my power and I don't know if I ever will. *Shrugs out of Kat's embrace and moves to a corner in the room* I don't want to hurt anyone else ever again! *Starts hitting myself in the head really hard as if I could beat the power out of my head.* I hate this! I bet if I leave all of you could go home cause none of you did anything wrong it was just me. Just leave me and go home then you all can be happy and safe!
 
"Kyle..." Katarina starts, her voice soft, almost helpless, as Kyle pulls away from her. She looks again at Xander, as though asking for his opinion of how to respond, and continues to avoid looking at Christina.


When Kyle starts to hit himself in the head, his voice rising with his agitation, Katarina jumps up again, taking his hands in hers and trying to catch his eyes. "Kyle...Kyle, don't do that, please." In the back of her mind is her thought that this is sort of like what she does to herself, an odd guilt that perhaps she is somehow unconsciously influencing him, causing him to hurt himself, and she looks at Xander guiltily, briefly biting her lip.


"Kyle...don't. We all want you here...I want you here," she corrects, just in case she is speaking incorrectly about Christina. It's hard for her to know what she thinks sometimes. "And anyway, what home would we go to, it's gone, remember? We...we needed to leave even before...what happened. You know how Mom and Dad were...you know..."


She stops, swallowing, then adds more strongly, "It's not your fault."


**


Rikarah chuckles lightly as she observes the exchange between the two girls. There is certainly no need for her to read Terabithia, or Abi, as Natalia calls her, the girl announces herself like an open book. She is certainly unlike Rikarah's sister Isabella...if Isabella had behaved as Terabithia did, then certainly, things may have turned out differently.


Smiling down at Terabithia, she says, "I do not think of myself as evil, but I appreciate the comparison all the same. You are rather attractive yourself. I would be happy to put on plays with you. I enjoy portraying others."


Looking now at Natalia, she says, "There are other empty rooms on this hall. I assume you would be welcome to them."


To Terabithia she says, "It would be fun to try on clothes later, I suppose."


And this would give her more time to observe, and perhaps better feel out Natalia and Castiel.
 
*Looks up at Kat, tears streaming down my face* But I'm a freak how can you all want to be near me, I can't even eat a pop tart without almost burning down the room? Just admit it you be happy if you were at home and I was away...If I hadn't been around Alice would still be alive, Chris could see so how can you not hate me? After all I cost everyone?
 
Katarina flinches at the mention of Alice's name, her stomach twisting. She hates when even a reference to her comes up in conversation, and to actually hear her name brings such vivid images of her face, her smile, her laugh...the smell of smoke in the air, the night she died, clogging her throat, all that she knew was left of her little sister. She wants then to squeeze her bruised wrist, to twist the bruised skin of her arms, anything to detract from what she feels at the mention of her name, but instead she closes her arms around Kyle, hugging him tightly.


"That's not true," she tells him, though her voice is strained. "I love you. We all love you. It's...you're just learning, that's all...Kyle, it's not your fault. It's not...it isn't your fault."
 
You're a liar Kat! I know you are, I know you all hate me cause I hate me, I wish I was the one that was dead, maybe today will be the day I do it, end this nightmare once and for all, today I'll just step off the curve and let a bus end my misery for good. I just want this to all end so I can't hurt anyone, I don't like hurting you all but you know I will I can't help it cause I have no control over myself and there is no one who can help me!
 
Katarina steps back from Kyle, staring at him with her eyes wide, the irises darkening slowly. She shakes her head, her eyes moving inexplicably to his wrists before she looks back up at him, biting her lip before she can make herself reply.


"Kyle...no. Please don't do that...please don't... hurt yourself."


Even as she is speaking she is thinking of Alice, of how she must have suffered, and she chews her lower lip, crossing her arms, and while her arms are crossed pinches her skin where the movement is concealed, hard. It is only after this that she can manage more.


"You would hurt us so much if you did that...Kyle, you have to calm down." She tries to hug him again, aware of her heart pounding too fast in her chest. "Kyle..."


Past his shoulder she meets Xander's eyes, her own too bright with growing helplessness.
 
Chris was silent throughout most of the interaction. A small part of her was glad for her blindless. She did not have to worry about the awkwardness of not looking her siblings in the eyes. She did move her head when she spoke to someone to indicate which, though she mostly used names as well to be clear. But shook her head at the idea of making a tent.


"I'm not cold," she lied. She was in a bad mood this morning. She wasn't sure why. Her moods were rarely good though. She sighed a little and picked at her food, eating it slowly. She was happy for the food. When they brought up stealing bikes, Chris moved a little, uncomfortable. No. There were a lot of things she could not longer do because of her blindless. Even with her power, it would be too difficult. Besides on a bike it would be harder to use it. She wasn't that strong. But being a lookout, or a hearout, would be fine with her if that is what they wanted.


She opened her mouth to agree to it when she smelled the burning poptart. She frowned, trying hard not to make a noise or look uncomfortable. But when Kyle began to say they'd be better without him and started to hurt himself, she could take no more. She stood, backing away from the others and ran. She was sure if she still was able to cry, she'd might have let out a tear or two. But the burns on her eyes prevented it or so she believed.


Chris wasn't sure why she ran as she stopped at the end of the hall. It was not easy. It was never easy. For none of them. They were trying so hard to stay as a family, but at times like this, Chris wondered why. It seemed pointless.
 
Xander had watched as Katarina comforted Kyle, as Kyle hit himself and spoke of suicide, he was right.


Xander did hate Kyle sometimes, but then he remembered that it wasn't Kyle's fault, he didn't mean to burn down the house, he didn't mean to blind Christina and he didn't mean to kill Alice. And despite everything, he was still his little brother.


But as Christina leapt up and fleed the room, anger sparked in the usually calm, composed Xander. He stood up adruptly, striding over to Kyle and gripping his shoulders as he spoke strongly, "Kyle, look at me." His eyes are flaming with anger as he shakes Kyle lightly, trying to get him to wake up from his stupid words, "Don't you dare even MENTION killing yourself again." He gave Kyle no room to answer as he carried on speaking at a fast yet still understandable pace, "If you think killing yourself now is going to change anything then you're being a fu*king idiot Kyle! Alice is still going to be dead, Christina will still be blind....but then we'll be missing our little brother too." He let go of his tight grip on Kyle's shoulders and strides to the door, looking back at him, his tone was still strong but softer now, "We know you didn't mean to do what you did Kyle, and that's all that matters to us. I'll find a way to help you control your fire, but if you kill yourself, we're all as good as dead. Because if Mum and Dad taught us anything from their violence it was that we stick together, no matter what." Letting this rest with him, hoping it would sink in more because of the fact that Xander rarely ever got snappy or angry - he was the calm one. He pulled open the door and chased after Christina.


Seeing Chris at the end of the hall, Xander let out a small sigh of relief, going over to her. Unlike his twin, he didn't find it uncomfortable to talk to Chris or look at her burns, he was briefly friends with a blind kid at school until he pushed them away. "Chris!" He caught up to her, actually looking at her properly despite the burns, "Hey Chris, come here." He then wrapped his arms around his baby sister in a hug, knowing their family didn't hug very often at all, and not sure how she would respond, but he still hugged her anyway. "It's gonna be okay Chris." He whispered softly.
 
Katarina had looked up, startled, then alarmed as Christina fled the room, wanting to go to her, knowing that any help she tried to give her would be met with silent rejection or with anger. She could not remember the last time she had touched Chris or hugged her, where her sister had accepted it. When had she last even tried?


What if Chris hurt herself now? What if she ran straight out into a moving car? And Kyle...how badly Kyle must feel. How badly he must be hurting, to have hurt Chris...to have to live with himself as he was. And it wasn't his fault. If anything it was Katarina's. Why had she not realized about his powers? Why had she not tried harder to distract their father from him? And Kyle had been defending HER...he had lost control of his powers, over her.


Why did no one else blame her for the fire? She had saved Kyle...but not Alice. Not Chris. He was only a kid...it had all happened, over her.


She is relieved when Xander goes after Chris, and again wraps her arms around Kyle, trying to force him to stay near her this time. She can think of nothing more to do except hug him, except try to blink back the tears standing in her eyes so he will not see.


She wants so badly then to push him away, to lock herself in the bathroom and scratch herself raw, to leave like Chris, to find a guy who would hug her and kiss her and just for a few moments, make her think that she meant something to them. That she could be okay, that maybe all of them would be okay. That it could be possible.


But for now, there was no option she could live with but to stay here, to hug Kyle, and hope he could only feel her love for him, and nothing else that she was feeling.
 
After Rikarah pointed to an empty room, Shira ran off to climb to the theater roof again. She lied down and stared at the clouds float across the sky. She was angry. She didn't know why but she was. As the puffy shapes passed by, she began humming a melody to herself. It was a haunting tune that resembled one you'd hear at a circus. Strange, she never remembered going to a circus before. But it was a nice melody so she ignored the dark feeling in her gut. Still humming, she began twirling across the theater roof. Being up so high made her feel like she was flying. It was a pleasant feeling.


Cas went into the bathroom to clean up a bit before leaving for "work". He took some water from the bucket kept by the sink. It was only about half full now so he'd probably need to get more water this week. After splashing his face, he took a look in the mirror. He laughed at how the reflection differed so much from what it was a mere two years ago. His skin was paler and he had gotten thinner due to life on the street. It looked like bags were starting to form under his eyes. He hadn't been getting too much sleep lately. He sighed.


He was a bit worried about these new people. None of them looked too dangerous but he were to leave Shira alone with them, who'd know what would happen. There was no telling what could bring Lucy back from hibernation: a phrase, an action, a sight. He shuddered at the thought of Lucy. The figure of a small girl, laughing while covered in blood, made him sick. Pulling his thoughts back together, he plastered on a smile and left for "work".


As he walked outside, the wind blew against himself. The residual scent of the incense he used wafted up and surrounded him like a form of perfume. He heard Shira shout his name from above. She looked at him from the roof.


"Are you going to the motel now?"


"Yeah. I'll be back soon." He had told Shira that he worked as a maid in a cheap motel downtown, but the truth was that he was going shoplifting and pickpocketing to get the things they needed. "Get down from there. And don't get to close to those other girls. I don't trust them."


Shira just stuck out her tongue and went back to dancing on the rooftop. Cas sighed and began walking downtown.
 
Chris heard someone come after her after a few minutes. She knew it was Xander - each of her family had distinct footsteps - and she was glad for that. Out of all the siblings Chris was still the closest to Xander. It was difficult to be around Kyle, especially alone. She could not handle it often. Sometimes her burns would flare as if she was on fire again, but it was just an old memory. Still it was hard.


Katarina... Chris didn't hate her older sister but it was difficult to be around her as well. Kat was trying hard to take care of them all and Chris' instinct was to reject that. She hated being taken care of. She hated what happened and how it made her family act around her. Sometimes she was happy for her blindness. She didn't have to see the looks on their face as they looked at her. No matter how long they lived Chris' scars would be a reminder of what happened. They would never leave and Chris would never forget. She didn't hated her blindness as she got more use to it, but she hated that she was a reminder of what happened. It was all too messed up.


Chris let Xander hug her and she stiffly hugged him back. She didn't want to fully accept his comfort. She knew she was being difficult, pushing her family away but it was something she had always done and it had only gotten worse after the fire.


"How can you be so sure," Chris heard herself asking.
 
Xander was relieved Chris didn't push him away, but he still noticed the stiffness of the returned hug. He held back his sigh. He knew it was hard for Chris. Even before the fire she always kept herself isolated from, well, everyone - understandable with their parents. But now, she was ten times as worse. Only difference was that she sometimes needed to rely on them now.


Xander thought for a few moments about her question, how to answer it. "Because I'm your big brother, and big bros are always right." He grinned and spoke jokingly, then fell serious, "How much worse can it get Chris. We've been through a whole load of sh*t the past----" He paused, unable to think of a time when they weren't getting through sh*t. "We've been dealing with crap for our whole lives Chris. There's gotta be a point where karma comes around and gives us our long awaited good fortune." He still hugged her as he spoke, "Plus, I've got it all planned out. I'm gonna figure out a way to help Kyle, and then by the time I've turned 18 I would have got a proper job and we'll save up enough money to buy somewhere to live, even just a flat. Then we can enroll you and Kyle in school or college or something, and you guys can get your degrees and get real jobs and meet really cool partners and have a family...." He trailed off, noticing how his plan wasn't exactly super planned yet, "I'll figure it out. But...I'll die before I let anything happen to one of you." Again. His inner voice finished for him.


He still, like the others, felt immensely guilty for not saving Alice. But the way he saw it, he was the big brother, he was basically the man of the family - since their Dad would never be considered a man in Xander's eyes, a real man doesn't hit girls, especially not his own daughters - and yet he couldn't save Alice? It was his job to protect his younger siblings, even to protect Katarina, but he couldn't save the innocent Alice? He failed his baby sister and he wouldn't EVER let something like that happen again. Christina WAS his baby sister now, he wouldn't lose her too.


"I promise you Christina, I won't let you get hurt ever again."





Terabithia grinned at Rikarah, not understanding the big word she used, portrayed? That was it. But mentally noting it in her head to perhaps use later in a sentence that would be completely unrelated. As Rikarah calls Terabithia 'attractive' she recognizes this term as another word for pretty and she beams up at Rikarah, "You really think so? I met this boy once in this park my mummy used to take me to and he made fun of me 'cause I have red hair" She tugs on her ginger locks slightly, pouting lightly, "But my mummy just said he was jealous 'cause my hair colour is really rare and special, but she had the same hair as me too before she died so maybe she was just saying it 'cause she had the same as me."


Natalia stiffened as Abi causally spat out that her Mum was dead. She looked at her almost curiously, did the girl not feel upset about her Mum's death? The way Abi carried on it, it seemed as if she had an awesome Mum - much better than Natalia's ever was - so why wouldn't she be upset by it?


"Abi." Natalia spoke quietly and Abi spun to look at her, "Yeah Blue?" "We should probably go pick a room" "But I'm talking to Ri-Rika-Rikaraha?" She frowned, looking back to Rikarah, "Can I call you a nickname? Your name is really hard to say"
 
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