Fantasy Beyond the Third Sky

[Scrapmaster]

[QUOTE="Yuffie Kisaragi]Thoroughly disappointed that RPN doesn't have an "Oh Shit" rating available.

[/QUOTE]
We got hype cookies though...

 

[NeverBetter]

[QUOTE="Yuffie Kisaragi]Thoroughly disappointed that RPN doesn't have an "Oh Shit" rating available.

[/QUOTE]

Spoiler

 

[Yuffie Kisaragi]

Goodness Caesar is so savage


It's kind of refreshing to have a character so simple


Even Cyler (power hungry serial killer that takes powers by murdering their wielders for the unenlightened) has this kind of complexity to him. There's extra substance to him.


Caesar on the other hand is kind of evolving to the point that he is like one character point. I'm actually enjoying him a lot.

 

[MsPolite]

[QUOTE="Yuffie Kisaragi]Goodness Caesar is so savage
It's kind of refreshing to have a character so simple


Even Cyler (power hungry serial killer that takes powers by murdering their wielders for the unenlightened) has this kind of complexity to him. There's extra substance to him.


Caesar on the other hand is kind of evolving to the point that he is like one character point. I'm actually enjoying him a lot.

[/QUOTE]
Woot! Hero's reference, Xanax believe I'm not alone in watching that show

 

[Yuffie Kisaragi]

Ooh yeah I've been into that for years


Cyler himself has been in lots of RPs to the point that for me, he's become less of an expy, and more and more into my own character. Hence why I changed the spelling of his name to distance him a little bit from his origin.

 

[MsPolite]

@NeverBetter about our characters, when they wake up they have knowledge of alot, have literally no memory of what happened before they woke up or came to be where they are. Now are they able to have knowledge of the races culture, although they don't know the history or how they know it.

 

[Scrapmaster]

@NeverBetter about our characters, when they wake up they have knowledge of alot, have literally no memory of what happened before they woke up or came to be where they are. Now are they able to have knowledge of the races culture, although they don't know the history or how they know it.

Well at the start our characters didn't even know their own names so...I guess they don't have any knowledge of what they are.


*Cue Hanz turning into his avatar mode and having a hilarious reaction to it*

 

[Yuffie Kisaragi]

I wanted Soul Eater kind and you disappointed me yet again.

Let's make a deal, you actually introduce Lyon in the post you already made/new post ASAP and I can make Red Blood like Soul Eater's Black Blood. Except red. The color is nonnegotiable

 

[MsPolite]

@DergTheDergon hey thanks for the rateing, BTW any critique? I really want to improve my writing and I think this is one of my best posts so it would help if you got anything for me x3

 

[DergTheDergon]

@MsPolite You're welcome, it was well deserved. So much epicness in that post .


Well, the things I have are mostly grammatical nitpicks, really minor things like putting 's at the end of words that don't need an apostrophe, basically any word that's plural and not possessive, and using words that are spelled like the word you seem to intend to use, but aren't the same one, like using "quite" instead of "quiet." You're great at using descriptive words, setting a scene, and writing excellent dialogue which are makings for awesome posts as at least three of us seem to agree lol (the ones who've rated so far.)


But, mainly I'd suggest breaking your posts up into paragraphs instead of one big chunk of text. It actually makes pieces of writing easier to read for everyone. You don't have to space paragraphs out like a lot of people do on here, but you could at least put an indent at the beginning of paragraphs. If I wrote that post It'd probably be about three paragraphs, maybe two. You don't want to make a buttload of like three sentence paragrpahs either 'cause that's equally confusing to people's eyes as a gigantic wall of text. A minor thing but a good habit to get into, methinks.


I actually thought I'd be able to come up with more but that's really all I can think of, otherwise it's wonderful and you clearly have a talent for writing. I hope this helps. (:3)

 

[MsPolite]

@MsPolite You're welcome, it was well deserved. So much epicness in that post .
Well, the things I have are mostly grammatical nitpicks, really minor things like putting 's at the end of words that don't need an apostrophe, basically any word that's plural and not possessive, and using words that are spelled like the word you seem to intend to use, but aren't the same one, like using "quite" instead of "quiet." You're great at using descriptive words, setting a scene, and writing excellent dialogue which are makings for awesome posts as at least three of us seem to agree lol (the ones who've rated so far.)


But, mainly I'd suggest breaking your posts up into paragraphs instead of one big chunk of text. It actually makes pieces of writing easier to read for everyone. You don't have to space paragraphs out like a lot of people do on here, but you could at least put an indent at the beginning of paragraphs. If I wrote that post It'd probably be about three paragraphs, maybe two. You don't want to make a buttload of like three sentence paragrpahs either 'cause that's equally confusing to people's eyes as a gigantic wall of text. A minor thing but a good habit to get into, methinks.


I actually thought I'd be able to come up with more but that's really all I can think of, otherwise it's wonderful and you clearl6y have a talent for writing. I hope this helps. (:3)

Thx so much, I'm really bad at grammar and spelling so that helps so much, it's comfortING to know my mistakes and what to fix. (o'v'o) ty ty ty

 

[NeverBetter]

[QUOTE="Yuffie Kisaragi]Let's make a deal, you actually introduce Lyon in the post you already made/new post ASAP and I can make Red Blood like Soul Eater's Black Blood. Except red. The color is nonnegotiable

[/QUOTE]
Nah its fine

 

[NeverBetter]

@NeverBetter about our characters, when they wake up they have knowledge of alot, have literally no memory of what happened before they woke up or came to be where they are. Now are they able to have knowledge of the races culture, although they don't know the history or how they know it.

Tecnically speaking, you all sort of formed in the world for no real reason and with no known past, you sorta showed up one day somehow. Most chose their names at time of self-awareness, and had no inherent memory present.


As time goes on, players will change how their character acts or reacts in many ways, especially as they don't have a basic history to go off of, and little knowledge of the world around them. What they do know is limited mostly to what their role in their species is (like with Jah'RI being a special Dragonborn with flame breath, in instance) or to what can be discovered and inferred by the character.


In essance, it's like taking an amoeba and trying to evolve it to the next stage as a multi-cell ed organism, in a sense. Since you are not bound by any specific lore, your character is to grow at their own pace as you please.

 

[Yuffie Kisaragi]

Nah its fine

plz

 

[VioletShadow]

@SolisNighsun @DergTheDergon I'm slightly confused as to why you rated my post with a hype cookie, care to elaborate?

 

[DergTheDergon]

@VioletShadow Well for me, I'm excited for Jah'Ri to react to this for several reasons. She'll be angry that Nio got to Xenith first, but also happy that she is okay. It would also be clear that he saved her life. So lots of juicy character developments about to happen. Maybe I could've conveyed these thoughts better with a "fun rp post" rating but didn't think of that. At the time a hype cookie seemed to convey the delicious drama about to ensue ;P

 

[LucidSol]

@SolisNighsun @DergTheDergon I'm slightly confused as to why you rated my post with a hype cookie, care to elaborate?

Because..... hmmm... how to explain...


It showed that war was not just cupcakes and kittens. It showed there was not just physical hurt, but mental as well. It showed that Xenith was ready to give up, and submit to death, yet she started recalling her regrets in the brief span of time she was given life. It showed what it was, ironically, to be human.


This was extremely relatable. Wanting to give up that it.


And then woop, woop, here comes the cavalry. Nio was able to reverse all of that and showed what it was like to persevere.


Even as I write this, I get excited in a somewhat disturbing way, in a hype response. Which is why I rated it a hype cookie.


Because your posts are fricken beautiful and have unexpected twists that bring me closer and closer to a fangirl attack.


Perhaps I should have given a different rating, to some, but I am me, and give things according to I feel within - which may or make sense later down the road. Even I really don't understand myself.

 

[Scrapmaster]

I threw in an Aww rating for the lulz.


Your posts are good, but that doesn't get ratings from me, I like actual actions and meaningful things happening, thankfully, your post had some nice development for Nio I feel.


Tolan still won't feel bad cleaving his head open though.


Now to have Tolan react to everything that happened...

 

[VioletShadow]

@SolisNighsun That was an incredibly beautiful explanation, and I thank you for your compliments. I love to daydream, so sometimes I dream of little events that happen to our roleplays. I'm also rather emotional, so I adore scenes like this. Surprises are also some of my favorites too.

 

[LucidSol]

@VioletShadow


Your welcome (o'v'o)


You deserve every word, fully.

 

[MsPolite]

@VioletShadow oh geez, I'm like you, I get emotional with stories. Lol just get ready for tears later on in the future, ima predict some heavy shit is gonna go down.

 

[Scrapmaster]

So I kinda made two posts, but oh well.

 

[DergTheDergon]

Hope you enjoy mah post peeps!


That took a while to write xD . I felt like it was super important with the super-mega-hype state of this whole rp rn, so I put more thought and revision into this one than I normally do.


Btw @Scrapmaster there's your straight ship, which I'm pretty sure is gonna go places. (Jaighed X Xai'Kah)

 

[VioletShadow]

@DergTheDergon Should I wait for the others to post first? Sorry for always asking you questions, I just respect you.


You're secretly my senpai...

 

[Scrapmaster]

Meanwhile Tolan walks towards certain death xD


Well, sort of.