Be My Oblivion

[InactiveCoffee]

Aiden sat quietly, his fingers running through her fur. He chuckled slightly when she had rolled onto her back, shaking his head. When she returned to her human form, he looked away out of respect. "No need to apologize. I can't say I understand, but you don't need to explain." he said gently, still sitting on the floor. He eventually stood from the floor, groaning softly, and stretching. "Everyone's entitled to fits of rage when something upsets them. I'm just thankful you waited to shift until we were out of sight of prying eyes." he sighed, moving over and sitting on the edge of the bed. "What would you like done with the pelt?" he asked, glancing over at where it sat on the desk.

 

[FieryAngel]

She chuckled and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I almost didn't wait. Not that I had a choice, really. I'm just usually in far more control." She looked to the pelt now, no longer in agony over the sight. "I'm sure we'll make use of it. It's just a normal wolf, however it reminded me of the horrors I witnessed while imprisoned back at the camp." Saying no more, she rolled to her side and propped an arm beneath her head as he sat beside her. "Your patience with me is outstanding, you know? I can't imagine it's easy being stuck with me. Wolves can be so unpredictable and dangerous. Not that I'd ever hurt you. I'd rather die than hurt you. But witnessing what you just did, I hope you do understand that while I'm never going to purposely hurt you, I'm still dangerous. If my emotions get too out of control...." A lump rose in her throat, cutting her short, and she grew silent. Ember didn't want to scare him away, yet he needed to understand she could be dangerous. After all, this man deserved all the happiness in the world, and she only wanted him to be safe.

 

[InactiveCoffee]

Aiden shrugged, "Don't worry about me. We may have only met a few short days ago, but I trust you." he said gently. "It's not the first time I've dealt with a wounded wild animal. You just have more humanity in you than the others." he chuckled, shaking his head. He leaned his back against the wall, and watched her for a time. "I don't know what they did to you in the camp, but I can tell it was horrible. For that, I am sorry." he said softly, frowning. He hated how humans could be so cruel, but at the same time, he had been witness to the cruelty of other creatures as well. It was a double edged sword. "I'm a military man. I tend to live for danger." he smirked, and chuckled.

 

[FieryAngel]

Ember frowned and sat up, inching herself a bit closer to stare into his eyes. "I do worry about you. It's my duty to. No harm shall come to you or whatever family you have in your future. Military man or not, you will be safe from harm." She remained that way for several minutes, a bit too close and invading his personal space. Once she was aware of it, she'd backed off, giving him plenty of room, and sat cross legged upon the edge of the bed. "And I already have explained, you've no need to apologize for what humans have done to me. My kind has suffered the wrath of humans for centuries, as well as your kind having suffered from mine. It's just how the world works." Fingers toyed with the bracelet, unable to keep herself from watching the way it shined in the light. It had become her most cherished possession, and the love she had for such a gift shined in her eyes each time she touched it.

 

[InactiveCoffee]

Aiden held her gaze cooly, smirking when she backed away. He sighed, and shook his head, "That doesn't mean I don't feel the need to apologize for my kind." He sighed, chuckling softly. His heart hammered in his chest from how close Ember had been, and he fought to calm himself without alerting her. He watched her for a moment as she fingered the bracelet, and caught the look in her eye as she gazed upon it. You're asking for it. She's a wolf. There can be nothing between you. he scolded himself mentally, shifting on the bed slightly.

 

[FieryAngel]

As he shifted, she looked up, a warm smile pulling at the corners of her lips. "Well, I certainly can't say I feel humans are wonderful creatures. You, however, are an exception. You're full of kindness, able to see those who are different for who they really are. Even that night I was forced to change by the moon, you could have killed me but didn't. You saw me for who I was, not what I appeared to be. You are truly unique. You may be human, but I swear your heart is beyond that."


She rose, giving him space upon the bed and came to settle at the desk. Moving wasn't just for his benefit, though, as it was also for hers. The beating of her heart was echoing in her ears, face as red as the rising sun. Shifting through the various drawers of the desk, she found just what it was she looked for and slipped it out. It was a map, neatly folded but slightly worn from travelers seeking their next destination. Carefully, she'd lay it out flat, tracing a finger over various lines, seeming to plot their next destination.

 

[InactiveCoffee]

Aiden shrugged, looking away from Ember as she spoke. He could recall much the same words coming from Clara, though that was minus the parts specific to Ember being a wolf. He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "Your words are far kinder than they should be. You're the first wolf I haven't killed since losing Clara." He sighed, shaking his head. He glanced at Ember when she moved to the desk, and became curious as she bent over the map she had spread out. "Decided where to go next?" He asked after a while of watching her look over the map so carefully.

 

[FieryAngel]

Ember only briefly looked over her shoulder before returning back to the map. "Well from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for sparing me. However, I will not hold what you've done in your past against you. It's not in my nature. And besides, people can have a change of heart." Focused on the map, she tapped a place upon it, pondering lightly before tracing a trail to another spot. "Trying to decide, yes. First, I had to gain my bearings and figure out what was near. Sadly, I have no idea where to go, as it's not my destination I worry about. My goal is to get you where you're safe and begin a new life for yourself. I want to find a place where you'll be happy."

 

[InactiveCoffee]

Aiden eyed her for a moment before laying back on the bed and tucking his arms behind his head. "You keep talking about making sure I'm safe, and finding a place where I'll be happy." he started, sighing, "But has it occurred to you that there isn't any place I'll be happy? The happiest I've been since losing my family has been when I travel. I don't like staying in a single place. Every place I've tried to call home just seems to get taken from me." he said simply, staring up at the ceiling of their small room. Besides. If I keep traveling, then by your own words, you'll stay by me. He thought to himself, and frowned. He was being selfish, he knew, but somehow, he didn't want to change his mind.

 

[FieryAngel]

Something about his words brought pain to her heart, and she rose from the desk to sit beside him again. The bed creaked as she sat and adjusted herself, remaining close but keeping her distance to prevent discomfort of any kind. "I can understand, but a life of travel is no life for a human from what I've observed. You aren't honestly happy now, are you? I know you miss your family, but wouldn't you wish to try again? Wouldn't you like to have another babe to depend on you, or a woman to call your own? How can you try to seek happiness if you let fears overtake you?" She shook her head and sighed. Wolves weren't often selfish creatures, but her humanity overrode that part, wanting nothing more to remain by his side forever if she could. He's human. He'd never want me.

 

[InactiveCoffee]

He laid there silently, thinking about how to answer her. No, he wasn't happy always traveling, but at the same time, he was currently very happy that she was with him. Even if that meant traveling for the rest of his days. At night, he found himself longing for the love he had once shared with Clara, and the enveloping warmth he had felt when he had met his child that first day. How the world seemed to center on them. As well as the crushing despair he had felt at their loss, something he never wanted to experience again. In a way, he realized he did fear loving someone again. He feared letting himself be happy. He sat up on the bed, and stared at his lap, his brow furrowed in thought.


"I guess you're right." he sighed, finally, his shoulders slumping. "I have been letting fear rule me ever since that night." he continued, his voice low, and soft. He sat in silence for a while again, his mind running over the way he's lived, no, survived the last three years. He hadn't been living at all. Just moving from day to day in a haze, and how meeting Ember, seeing the way she had almost been broken, seemed to have stirred something in him. Memories of Clara helping injured creatures flooded back to him. Was he merely trying to heal a wounded animal? He mentally shook himself, no. If that were the case, he wouldn't react to her closeness as he does. The way he watches her, which by some standards, is a little to closely. What had come over him? He thought to himself. On a sudden impulse, he reached for Ember, and pulled her against him in an embrace.

 

[FieryAngel]

Joy and sorrow flooded her as she seemed to strike a cord in the human. Making him realize just what he had been doing was a victory, and she hoped by admitting it he could someday find peace. However, now she ran the risk of losing her friend. Would he accept the truth now and search for a new life all his own? If so, it would leave her to wander the forest alone, as she couldn't live among humans. It was impossible to do so with her secret. "Well, then it's time to conquer that fear and find happiness."


About to rise from the bed, she was enveloped in a warm embrace, one that took her by much surprise. Closeness wasn't as easy for humans as it was for wolves, sharing the warmth of another seeming more intimate. His arms wrapped around her sent her heart pounding, echoing in her reddened ears. Unsure what to do, or how to react, she simply sat there for a moment stiff as a board. Nerves had her nearly shaking, but her own arms came to embrace Aiden in return, holding him tightly, cheek resting against his chest. It was a comfort she hadn't known in so long, but it was far deeper than that.

 

[InactiveCoffee]

Aiden was silent, quietly holding onto Ember as at first she seemed tense from his sudden action, but eventually had relaxed, and was even returning the embrace. He smiled softly, his face pressed into her hair, the sweet smell of the oil she had used after the bath filling his lungs. It was a familiar scent, though he couldn't place it. It seemed to calm him, quelling the doubts and fears that seemed to haunt his mind on a daily basis. The dull ache that had been a constant reminder of what he had lost seemed to lose some of it's edge. Eventually, he finally released her, his face warm, "Thank you." he managed to say, though it was no more than a whisper. Thank you for saving my humanity. For showing me I can love again. For saving me from certain demise. His mind raced with things he could say, but none came to true words. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing his eyes.

 

[FieryAngel]

As she was released, she sat back and looked to him with puzzled eyes, though a shy smile now played upon her lips. "Please, don't thank me. I've done nothing but what you deserve. Your kindness has saved my life, and I can only do the same." She wanted nothing more than to reach and caress his face, but was learning to contain herself and keep wandering hands to herself. So much changed for her in that instant, feeling a closeness forming that was foreign to the wolf. Instead, she reached out to pat him upon the knee before lying back upon the bed, sighing heavily. She stared up above, trying to control the thoughts that raced swiftly through her mind. Hopes were high that maybe something more could blossom between them, but she was perplexed. The dangers he'd face were potentially too much, and his life would never be at risk because of her.

 

[InactiveCoffee]

Aiden shook his head, "I haven't deserved anything." he sighed, and laid back as well, albeit a little closer to Ember than he probably would have been normally. The room was beginning to grow dim as the evening was wearing on, noise drifted to them from the main tavern room downstairs. He closed his eyes as he laid there, listening to the noise from downstairs, and to Ember's breathing beside him. Thoughts flooded through his mind, and slipped away as easily as they came. Eventually, he found himself thinking about if maybe there was a possibility of a future with Ember. It was slim, and clearly wrought with danger as she was a wolf. A small thought whizzed through the jumbled mess of his mind, at least she'd be able to protect herself. A pain shot through his chest making his breath catch. Why did you even think that? he scolded himself silently, forcing his breathing to remain normal. They had been overwhelmed by werewolves in the middle of the night. Clara had been decent at fighting and hunting. There was evidence that Clara had fought their enemies that night. She hadn't been helpless. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, and rolled, putting his back toward Ember. He fought to press the memory away, and clear his mind of thought. It was late, and he was tired. That's it. He hadn't been thinking clearly.

 

[FieryAngel]

She could have argued, tried her best to convince him otherwise but left the topic lie. Someday, he'd realize that she was right, at least she hoped. As he lay down beside her, she remained perfectly still, unsure if whether getting up was a good idea or if he wanted her close. Acting human was rather difficult, as wolves often did what they wanted and no one gave it a second thought. However, she had to plan her actions carefully around Aiden. It wasn't a burden, but certainly a challenge, one that was worth the taking. She closed her eyes, at least enjoying the peace and warmth as the evening came and darkened their room.


As he rolled over, she could sense distress, and quickly scurried to lay closer beside him. "What's the matter? Are you hurt?" Worry creased her brow as she worked to look him over, though knew full well it was in his heart. Perhaps her closeness made him uncomfortable, the thought suddenly feeling like rejection. Clearing her throat, she slid away, rising from the bed to give him his space. "Before I sleep, I'm going to check to make sure all his safe for the night. I'll return later." Without letting him answer, she was out the door in a hurry, stripping on her way to the edge of the woods. After a few minutes ticked by, the howl of a wolf echoed from the distance.

 

[InactiveCoffee]

Aiden moved to stop her from leaving, but was just a moment to late and she was out of the room. He stared at the door for a moment, worry written on his face. Have I run her off? He thought, distressed by the idea. His chest tightened, feeling rather alone at that particular moment. He sighed, trying to loosen the tightness and laid back down. He closed his eyes as he heard the howl sound from the distance, and took a deep breath, letting it loose from him slowly. He lay there for a time, before sighing and getting up. He pulled his shoes off and set them at the foot of the bed, and pulled his shirt off for sleep. He tucked two of his knives under his pillow, the rest of the weapons tucked between the bed and the wall. He then laid back down, his back to the door, and waited. A light, restless sleep came over him, his body tense and alert for any approaching steps.

 

[FieryAngel]

The coast was clear, that she could tell just from walking through town. However, she needed to run, needed to clear her mind. Muscles worked to power her strong legs faster and faster through the trees, the breeze blowing against her muzzle providing a bit of relief and clarity. She spent most of her run scolding herself, feeling foolish for allowing her heart to grow close and care so deeply. You're a wolf. Get a grip. You cannot be with a human. He's still in love with Clara and will never ever love you. If she could cry, she would have, but all she could do was whimper and howl into the moonlight.


Hours passed, but she finally returned, pent up energy spent on her run and was now ready for sleep. The door slowly creaked open as she snuck inside, footfalls soft against the smooth wooden floor, which creaked from her weight. She stood there, hovering over Aiden's sleeping form for a few minutes, debating on what to do. Perhaps it best if she slept upon the floor, or even curled up at the foot of the bed much like an obedient pet. The latter seemed a better option, and carefully placed her weight upon the bed, hoping not to disturb his sleep. Flopping down, she'd curl into a tiny ball, the best she could manage in her human form.

 

[InactiveCoffee]

Aiden had woken as the door had creaked, but he forced his breathing to remain smooth as if he were still sleeping. He listened carefully for signs of threat, but quickly realized it was just Ember returning from the forest. He laid there silently, and felt her weight on bed, near the foot to be precise. He waited a moment, and then rolled over, looking at where she had curled. "Hey." he said softly, curious if she had let sleep claim her quickly. He pushed himself into a sitting position, "Welcome back." he began softly, looking at his hands folded in his lap. He passed his tongue over his lips, debating on what to say. "I'm glad you returned." he started again, and sighed. "I know we only met because of circumstance, but I feel like I've connected with you. In a way that honestly makes me feel like a nervous boy again." he scoffed softly at himself, putting a hand to his head as he leaned forward. "To be honest, I don't want to travel constantly. It's tiring, and offers no opportunity to obtain currency." he sighed, shaking his head.


"At the same time, I don't want to settle anywhere because I know there's no where you could settle with me." he finally murmured, taking a deep breath. "It's foolish, I know. You're a wolf, and I'm a human. Fate really knows how to mess with people." he chuckled off handed, "I still love Clara, but she's gone. I know this. No matter how hard I try to hold onto her memory, she's not coming back." he choked softly. "I need to let her go. Her and the child I will never see grow up." he whispered, closing his eyes. "I just don't know how." he sighed.

 

[FieryAngel]

Ember had barely begun to sleep, surprised to hear Aiden awake and sitting up in bed. At first, she was silent, unsure what to say. "Of course I came back. I vowed I'd keep you safe. I'm not one to go back on my word." Finally, she sat up as he continued on, gazing at him through the darkness, trying to get a read. It was harder through the dark, unable to observe his body language. None of that mattered as he revealed his feelings, sort of. Her own heart began to race with excitement, and yet sorrow touched her eyes. "If you're worried about me, please don't. I'm far more worried about you finding the live you wish to live. If we part ways, I can retreat into the forest, though I'll probably remain a wolf until the end of my days. It would be easier to deal with being alone."


She also sighed, slipping closer and resting a hand upon his shoulder. "Loss is never easy. I know. I think of my family all of the time, but you cannot live in the past. What's done is done, and when you except it, it's easier to let it go. You have to believe you deserve to be happy. Clara's death should inspire you to live. Live for her, when she cannot. That's all you can really do. The pain will never fade, but it will get easier."

 

[InactiveCoffee]

Aiden sighed, "I wish for a life with a family. I didn't have one when I was small, and the one I had started was taken from me. It almost seems like fate is telling me I'm not meant for a family." he said softly, his body still under her hand. "I don't want to be alone." he whispered, slowly reaching a hand up and resting it on hers. "I'll travel, live in the forest, or whatever as long as I'm not alone." he said, wrapping his fingers around her hand. "I don't want to part ways with you. You lost your entire family at the hands of humans. You shouldn't have to suffer alone either." he murmured, pulling on her hand suddenly and wrapping her in his arms again.

 

[FieryAngel]

Ember easily fell into his arms, snuggling closely against his chest, her ear pressed against his beating heart. There was no answer she could give to make any of it easy. She wasn't sure what to do herself. "Aiden..." She started, sighing deeply as turmoil wracked her brain. "You are far more special to me than I ever thought possible. I don't wish you to be alone either. I want to see you happy, a smile worn upon your face. I want you to feel love again, to know you are special and worthy of all that is good in this world. Fate is twisted, yes, but everything does happen for a reason." Swallowing a lump in her throat, she continued, though her voice was only a mere whisper.


"I don't want you by my side because you fear being alone. I'd never allow it. You need to live your life the way you wish. If you don't want to travel anymore, then find a place to settle. You're a handsome man with a huge heart of gold. Any woman would be lucky to have you. She'd be able to bear your child, you could raise a family. While it pains me to even think of all this, that's what I want for you. As you said, I'm a wolf and you're a human. It wouldn't be easy. I've never settled in a human village. Any child I would bear would run the risk of being just like me. Would you want a wolf child? And while you aged, I wouldn't. Aiden, I'm 75 years old and only appear to be in my early twenties. I'll outlive you by centuries, unless humans kill me first." It was a lot to take in, a lot to get off her chest, but one thing she didn't realize what that she openly discussed having his children, a thought that was buried at the back of her mind and just blurted out in such a fashion. He never mentioned a future such as that with her. And now realizing it, she felt like such a fool.

 

[InactiveCoffee]

Aiden held her for a long while in silence. Her words echoed through his mind. Was he only doing this because he didn't want to be alone? His mind fought over itself, trying to work everything out. She asked if he wanted a wolf child. Did that mean? His mind raced further on another route of ideas and possibilities. She would out live him. She already out aged him. Then he remembered that there were exceptions. There were humans who could love wolves. She had even given an example with her sister's husband. "We could do it." he whispered, his arms tightening slightly. "I don't care that you're a wolf. So you'll live longer, and age slower." he shrugged, his voice still low. "We wouldn't have to settle in a village. Maybe just near one so that I could work." he suggested, a small light of hope seeming to light in his chest. "I doubt I'd ever find another woman like Clara, or like you. I don't want to." he sighed, pressing his face into her hair. He took a deep, steadying breath. "I'll take the risk. If you will." he finally whispered after a long period of silence.

 

[FieryAngel]

The wolf began to cry, tears silently falling down her cheeks and landing upon the bed. A heart that ached just a moment ago seemed to heal, warmth spreading through her body. He wanted her for her, and that was satisfying enough. She let out a shaky breath, giving away her weak moment as she curled herself tighter against her human. Her...human. It sounded strange, but nothing felt more right than being here in his arms. Knowing she'd outlive him did cause her pain, but it was a bridge she could cross at a later time.


Even in the dark, her bracelet managed to catch the light shining from the moon, catching her eye. It was such a wonderful gift, one she'd cherish forever. It was all so clear now, his gifts, his worries and fears. Humans were silly things, and it made her chuckle. He was waiting for an answer, and lost in her perfect moment of bliss she nearly forgot. Clearing her throat, she leaned back only far enough to look into his eyes. "I'll do anything for you. If that's what you wish, then we'll do it."

 

[InactiveCoffee]

Aiden, in all honesty, was surprised when she curled tighter against him, his arms adjusting around her. He could tell she had started crying, but kept silent to allow her time to think about what he had said. When she leaned her head back enough to meet his eyes, he smiled at her words. "Then that's settled." he said softly, releasing a breath of relief he hadn't realized he had been holding. "We'll need to leave here tomorrow. We're still to close to the company we ran from for comfort. Did you find a suitable destination on the map earlier?" he asked softly, laying back on the bed while keeping Ember wrapped in his arms. He curled against her, breathing in the scent of her hair as he laid there.