Realistic or Modern Anchored by Love (Draft Four... lol)

[isax]

Jayden​

The days leading up to Friday went by so slow I was almost positive it would never come. Seeing Amelia in prison, a place she didn't belong, was enough to worry me for her safety. She stuck out like a sore thumb there, and I know she knew that. I was more than sure she would be everyone's next prey, and that's what I feared. Prison was no place for a woman like her. She didn't deserved to be jumped or broken. I wished I could do something to speed everything up and I wanted to so desperately when I saw her walk in for our talk with a cut under her eye. She didn't look the same. She looked almost lifeless and it was enough to send chills along my spin. I knew if Isabel was the one meeting with Amelia, she wouldn't last seeing her best friend like that. I could barley stand it.

"Sweet. Nothing like what I'm used to. I brought you one." Sliding the warm cup across the table, I nodded in reassurance when she looked at me. I knew I wasn't supposed to do this but I got away with it. It was mainly because of the badge.

When the guards knew I could handle my own, they left, leaving only me and Amelia. Relaxing a bit, I sighed softly, looking at the cut on her face.

"What happened?" I asked her, not sure if I wanted to know. When she told me, I was reassured that I was right. She wasn't going to survive.

"Did you think about it? Isabel really wants you to say yes. She practically begged me to convince you. She misses you. We all know you shouldn't be here the full five years."

 

[Lexus]

OOC: I'm salty Jayden is being cute. Wth.

Amelia​

In my moment of weakness, Jayden caught me off guard with the coffee he brought me. Looking to him in hesitancy, I bit my lip to fight the temptation. I couldn't do it, it wasn't worth risking his career too. I thought about making a joke that I preferred it iced, but I didn't want him to think I was ungrateful for the risk he took. Shifting in my chair, I shook my head, but when he glared at me, I gave in. I was still struggling with not being a hard head. Taking the warm cup in my hands, the warmth gave me goosebumps of anticipation before I lifted the lid and took a sip.

Bliss.

Being as out of it as I was, I was so elated by the taste, I laughed, but bringing my hands to my lips I quickly composed myself again, setting the cup on the table before things got serious again.

I knew Jayden was going to ask about my eye, it was a dead giveaway I was not thriving.

"A framed pudding cup and a fork turned knife." Shrugging my shoulders casually I laughed again, the whole thing was ridiculous, I had to stay sane.

"I did think about it, but the situation is already complicated enough, you're already doing too much and I don't want to be the reason you lose everything. I know you're just trying to help a friend."

Keeping my voice in a whisper, I saw the hope draining in Jayden's eyes and I looked to him in utter confusion.

"You're not doing this for Dawson-- Jayden no, I can't, we can't, that's why I'm in this mess. I'm not worth it, Please, don't do this. I won't be any better for you when I come out of here and have to label myself a convicted felon."

 

[isax]

Jayden​

"Amelia shut up. Just shut up and listen to me."

I was becoming flustered with the woman before me. She was so quick to try and back out of the plan to get her out all because my true feelings towards her were now known. I knew she didn’t want anything more. I knew she would never want to be with me but that didn’t meant I was going to give up. I wasn’t one to do so.

“I’m doing this because Isabel asked me to, because she’s blaming herself every moment of the day back at home. I’m also doing it because Dawson asked me to. My best friend admires you for doing what you did to help Isabel and wants to make things right. I do have feelings for you, but I won’t let them cloud what’s at stake. The job is to get you out of this hell and back where you belong. We could do it without your consent but we all thought you should be included. If you’re going to deny my help, that’s fine, but it doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying to get you out.”

I hoped I got through to her. I needed her to know that no matter what happened, her saying no wasn’t going to make a difference. Amelia was a strong woman, but right now, as I looked at her, I saw all that confidence drained from her because of where she was. Prison was no place for her. She didn’t deserve to be treated this way. I’m going to get her out even if she refuses for Isabel and Dawson, but most importantly for me. Even if when she gets out and wants nothing to do with me.

Now you pick such an independent woman to be with?

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

"I hate that Isabel trained you how to push my buttons the right way," I almost scowled before I brought my handcuffed hands to my face. For me, the situation wasn't as simple as finding a way out. It had to be a near genius plot to not raise any further suspicion. But the fact that Jayden stood up to me was intriguing. It never happened.

"If Dawson leaves her, I'm kicking his ass, never met him, but after this, he better plan to make something come of it." After an elongated silence, I looked to Jayden, I needed to convey information, but I didn't dare speak it.

"Can I borrow pen and paper?"

When he handed it off, I wrote him a pretty telling note while he continued to ask me questions in case anyone came for me.

When I finished, I pushed the notepad back in his direction, and when we made eye contact again, I nodded. My one simple sentence was enough to set the only plan I came up with in motion. It was a long shot, but I was willing to do anything and I had a way with people. Playing the victim, as much as it was getting my head, was just part of the overall scheme.

"Find me someone you need to crack. I'm your new informant."

When Jayden nodded in return I knew we had a mutual understanding and when he signaled for the guard to return for me I pushed the coffee cup back in his direction and whispered a simple farewell.

"Thank you, Jayden."

 

[isax]

8 Months Later: July
Dallas, Texas
Jayden​

It had been five months since Amelia became Dallas PD's informant. There was only one person we needed to crack. She was one of the slickest women in the gang world. She ran her own show, hidden in the shadows for years until we were able to find her and send her where she belonged, or so we thought. You see, Scarlett wasn't going to just stay quiet and under radar now that she was in prison. There were crimes going on and deals busted connected to the gang she ruled. There was no other leader, and we knew she had to be calling the shots from inside her cell. We just weren't sure how.

Amelia was able to help with that. After I let her know who she was to be getting closer with, the information began coming in slowly. Everything was making sense, my only fear was Amelia being found out. If she was, I had no doubt in my mind Scarlett would do her best to burn Amelia as our informant. I didn't want to know how Scarlett would plan on doing it but if it was anything like her outside murders, it would be slow and painful.

You can't let her go through that.

So far, Amelia was in the clear, and I was meeting up with her again after not coming for three weeks. We didn't want the visits to become so frequent others would catch on, and from what we knew, everyone just thought Amelia and my lawyers were trying to find her a way out.

When the lawyers walked out with the guards, I looked at Amelia with a soft smile, sliding the notepad her way with the single question I needed her to answer.

"Does she know? Are you still safe?"

It was the one I always asked first before we kept passing notes while we kept fake conversation about the lawyers and how far they got. We were getting good at this. We were a team and I knew this was going to be her redemption for the journalistic world. She could make this a story, a book, and she would be fine. It was the best way to patch everything up but that wouldn't happen if she were dead.

"The lawyers say it shouldn't take much longer. Maybe about another couple months or so." By now, she knew when referencing the lawyers, it meant the case. I needed at least two more months before I could full crack this case and Amelia could make it out of this hell. I knew Isabel was looking forward to that.

 

[Lexus]

Me writing this and y'all reading it:

Amelia​

It was February when Jayden finally gave me the woman the outside world needed to know about. Scarlett, I wasn’t surprised, she was the Most Wanted woman in the Dallas area for years. She was the infiltrator of the largest gang in the county and was notorious for her strategic drug deals and spotless murders. She was a genius in committing her crimes. They were her livelihood and I from what I could infer from her methodical plans, it was something she was passionate about.

It wasn’t until one courageous detective baited her with one of her own gang members that the public was able to comprehend the magnitude of Scarlett’s genius. Once they cornered her and her crew in an abandoned warehouse, Dallas PD uncovered over 4,000 pounds of a wide variety of illegal substances ranging from cocaine to prescription drugs, Scarlett had it all.

Upon further investigation, a ledger was found with a detailed record of all the deals and their quantities and to who they were bought and or sold from. The real kicker though was the “Hit Book” a notebook with a record of everyone the gang slaughtered to keep their trade going. The book included the names and detailed descriptions of each victim as well as how they were killed and a photograph to follow. It was a gruesome discovery, but with the incriminating evidence drowning her in her guilt, there was no escaping for Scarlett. The boss was busted and that was supposed to be the end of it.

After being in prison for a year, Scarlett was once again on the prowl, from her cell. The Dallas police were receiving word similar crimes to Scarlett’s signature were reoccurring across the city, but with her behind bars, the authorities had no way of confirming their hunch of her inside dirty work as true. All they had were rumors they picked up from the streets that Scarlett had an in to the outside, but of course, no one was going to snitch after how she was caught.

In the beginning, when Jayden told me this was my only out, I was terrified, intimidated and unsure if trying to escape from the lie I created in this way was worth the danger, but as a journalist, I knew I had to. It was no longer about the out, it was about providing the people with information and keeping their safety my first priority. If people couldn’t trust that a malicious criminal was no longer a danger to society after being caught, there was nothing they could trust. It was up to me, and only me, to stop the senseless deaths of innocent people for a couple of street babies to make a living.

“Okay,” I told Jayden, staring back at the woman’s picture when he brought it to me.

“I just need a few things."

Upon my request, Jayden mailed me a box of legal pads and pens to keep track of everything I heard and a detailed profile of who Scarlett was, not just her criminal record, but her past, where she lived, who she was closest to, her upbringing. I needed to have a vague idea of who she was to know how to get inside her head. The imperative thing was to get this woman to trust me, and being who I was, I knew getting the big dog to trust me wasn’t going to be easy. However, I had one thing going for me to perk her interest, my own past, the part I rarely ever acknowledged. First though, I had to get her to notice me.

Finding her was easy, everyone who was here for a while, knew the “Street Queen,” but according to Trinity, the only people who could even look at Scarlett without facing her wrath were the elites she chose as her welcomed company.

“Well, how do you get her to accept you then?”


“Well Pudding,” Trinity explained in a near laugh, the nickname was given to me after my first incident here and wanting to be accepted into the hierarchy, I never debated it.

“You have to be born into it.”

“What do you mean ‘born into it?’”

Shaking her head, Trinity threw rolled her eyes in immediate frustration. “I forget you’re still in your free head. There is no freedom here, where you land is because of who you know, the family you come from. To talk to Scarlett you have to have a respected tie to her work, so unless you know someone, you’re shit out of luck, princess.”

“I don’t think I am,” I replied softly, pacing back and forth as I began to formulate the rest of my plan.



It was a late afternoon in mid-March when I made my approach. Up until now I only watched Scarlett from a distance, I didn’t have many notes, nothing to show Jayden really, and with what felt like all of Dallas depending on me, I made the move the best way I knew how. I just walked right up to Scarlett not letting a damn person stop me until we were inches away from each other, it startled everyone in the yard, her included.

I wasn’t waiting to get initiated I was initiating myself.

Keeping a steady voice, for the first time in my life, I tried to speak proudly of what I was about to say.

Isabel, I can’t believe I’m about to do this.

“You know, I’ve been waiting for you to notice me, but since it’s been months and you still haven’t taken an interest, I’m a Amelia, Amelia Carson. Like David Carson’s, daughter? Big C?”

Seeing Scarlett’s eyes go wide, I knew I made the point I was attempting to make, and by the terror, I saw it in her eyes, I knew she thought she fucked up by not knowing who I was so I ran with it.


“You expect me to believe that?” She challenged, flicking her cigarette and looking away from me again.

“I guess not, everyone wants to be the kid to the guy who runs the drug distribution in Louisiana.”

“So prove it.”

Sighing in elaborated anger, I pulled back the sleeve on my jumpsuit to reveal the faint scar in the shape of a C on my arm from when my “dad” came at me with a knife at five, deciding to go to town and carve my arm high off of something.

“Is that proof enough for you?” I asked offended, standing my ground.

After hearing the Scarlett curse to herself in disbelief, I smirked to display my dominance in this situation.

“What can I do for you, Carson?’


When the tables turned in my favor I played Scarlett’s best friend, we did everything together, I never left her side and I asked her everything I could think of. Not wanting to be obvious, I asked Jayden to switch from legal pads to small notebooks and whenever she said something worth noting, I wrote it down. To lessen her suspicion I told her I was taking notes to send back to my dad to consider her as part of his operation when she paid her time. She was hoping to make ties with him to expand her authority past the Texas border. Her dream was to become a national drug smuggler because it was “easy money and people are stupid.”

Scarlett was no doubt an intelligent girl, a year younger than me and she was running the streets of Dallas through an established team of people she met on the streets. She considered them family, as most gang members do, because she didn’t have any. Losing her mom to childbirth after her little brother was born and her dad to gang violence, Scarlett pulled away from her family feeling closer to her dad on the streets than anywhere else, she took his place as a way to honor his legacy. As mind twisting as it was for a “normal” person, the story made sense.

As a journalist, one of the assets of my job was meeting all walks of life and telling their stories, even the people everyone else avoided, and the closer I got with Scarlett and the deeper I delved into her psyche, I felt the need to tell her story, not for all her wrongs, but why in her head, these were rational decisions. It fascinated me. Of course, I would still uncover how she managed the gang, but not from the angle Jayden was anticipating. I couldn’t be untruthful with Scarlett. I wasn’t a cop, if I was deceitful with her, I would actually be breaking my ethical code. So once I had Scarlett’s trust, I told her what the notebook was really for, without telling Jayden. Because I knew if I had, he would flip and shut the whole thing down. I needed to do this, and not even the man who was trying to help me, was going to stop me, no matter how much he his dorky personality and subtle looks were growing on me.

By July when Jayden returned for his monthly visit to gather pictures of my notes, Scarlett agreed to tell me everything I needed to know on the grounds that I tell her history in a way no one else had. She understood it meant she probably would never leave the prison life, serving a life sentence when she was convicted again; for her it was about having a legacy that she could leave on the world, no matter what people thought of its nature, it was still a legacy, people would still know who Scarlett was. For her, that’s what mattered.

Looking into his blue eyes that had a tendency to keep me up at night over the past five months, I bit my lip.

Taking the pad, I wrote down a response I knew would send electric bolts through his body.

“She knows, I had to tell her if you want the truth,” I wrote back nervously nodding at what he said about the lawyers before I passed the paper back.

When Jayden tried to protest, I shushed him, a stern look in my eye.

“Shhhhh! Calm down. I can’t be deceitful to break people, she wants to do it, as long as I play my cards right. You said you wanted the information, it’s not up to you how I get it. How’s Isabel?”

I hadn’t spoken to my best friend since the one and only phone call I gave her in my first week here. As much as I wanted to call her every call I got, I needed her to focus on herself and if I continued to call her once a week she would continue to wallow in her guilt that I took her blame. I wrote letters instead but I could tell she was holding back from telling me everything because she didn’t want to paint a picture of her happy life, while I was held captive with a crowd that was nothing like me. As much as I tried to hinder her guilt, I knew it was still a constant in her life. I only hoped that Jayden really only needed a few more months after I cracked Scarlett opened, I needed Isabel to be absolved of her suffering.

 

[isax]

Jayden​

She told. Amelia freaking told Scarlett about what she was doing. The woman before me literally put her entire life in danger and she didn't seem to have a care in the world. It pissed me off. I couldn't believe it but now I had to find a quicker way to get her out of this prison before she was killed.

What the hell were you thinking, Amelia?

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I began, "You told-" before I could say anything more, she shushed me, which didn't help my anger any. By the stern look in her eye, I knew she had this planned out, and I needed to calm down before I said something to ruin everything. Taking deep breaths, I sat back in my chair, tapping my knuckles against the table. After a few moments, I released a deep breath, looking at her when she asked about Isabel. Sitting closer to the table again, I grabbed the notepad and pen to write something while I told her about Isabel.

"Isabel's doing well. She's still with the DMN and she's honestly doing some amazing work for them. She misses you everyday though. As much as she’s continuing to push forward, she has her moments but Dawson does the best he can to comfort her. She asked me to tell you she misses you a helluva lot and she needs you back with her already.”

After explaining to Amelia how Isabel was doing, I finished writing what I needed to know on the notepad, passing it towards her. As good as Isabel was doing, her moments of spiraling were some of the worst I’ve ever seen. She was like an entirely different person. A piece of glass is the best way to describe her in that state. One wrong move from anyone and she would be entirely broken.

“She misses and loves you. We all do so let’s work our hardest to get you out in a couple more months. I swear on my life I’ll do my hardest to make that happen.”

I was keeping the conversation going so the note passing could continue.

“So what happens now on your end?” I wrote on the notepad, trying not to bite the inside of my lip as I anxiously awaited her answer.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Jayden's reaction to my coming clean almost startled me. I was still perplexed on why he responded so instantstanously when it came to me. I wasn't sure what to think of it, his passion towards me still didn't make sense. Unless Isabel was filling Jayden in on the type of person I was, he knew very little, and even if Isabel was telling him who I was, he never really experienced it. He just didn't make sense to me.I remained hesitent of this man, no matter how much i wondered about him, I was still unsure if i could trust him as much as he was basicallly begging me to. He was taking a risk on me, and the plunge so far, wasn't mutual. My gaurd, it was still holding steady. Jayden omly knew what I wanted him to know and it would stay that way.

Laughing at what he wrote on the paper, I smirked, with a glimmer in my eye. This was my moment.

"I finish it," I said aloud, "Bring in the lawyers and tell them I have what they want, and I won't give it to them until they agree to my third party's conditions. I'm assuming complete exauneration?" I challenged, crossing my arms, playing the front I was expected to play in this situation.

"The ball's not in my court anymore, it's in your friends. Make the deal and I'll break her."

 

[isax]

Jayden​

I was shook when Amelia became so assertive, telling me she was going to finish the task that I asked of her. I was impressed by her newfound confidence that she had lost when first arriving here, and now that she had it back, it was amusing to me. I had to hold back the chuckle forming because of it. All I could do was smile in amusement.

She knows her shit.

"I like this attitude on you, Amelia. You're game. I'll get my buddies in here then you do your part. Do it right and complete exoneration is what you'll get. I have no doubt you won't not get it." Sitting back in my chair, I couldn't wipe the amused grin off my face. This woman intrigued me more and more every time we talked. "I'll be back on Monday. Does that work with you?"

With that, I got up, taking the notepad with me before I looked back at Amelia.

"Finish it. We'll talk more Monday."

Calling the guards back in to take her to her cell, I walked out, thinking about how sure she was of herself with this. I was amazed with how she managed to get Scarlett to agree to something like this. This was far beyond what I was expecting to happen. Amelia had a way with people and it showed.

The world deserves to have you back, Amelia.

Isabel​

Eight months had passed since the day Amelia took it upon herself to destroy everything she worked for. I never asked her to do it. I never wanted her to, but she did it anyways. It was one of the biggest things to ever piss me off. You see, I love Amelia with all my heart, and knowing she was in jail for something I did never made life easier. Let's not forget to mention that she never calls me when she's given the chance. Funny how the tables have turned. Now I know what she felt like while I was away for an entire year with Dawson.

After the day Amelia was take in, I took it upon myself to take leave from the Dallas Morning News. My editors didn't understand, and nobody would, but I needed time to just get away from the journalistic world. I was supposed to be tackling it with my best friend, not alone, and it just didn't feel right continuing to do something that I broke the ethics of.

Dawson wasn't too thrilled that I took time away from DMN. He didn't get it and he never would. The only person who would get anything I did related to my field was now sitting in a cell while Jayden tried to work a way to get her out. I had faith in him, but everyday that passed never got easier.

In the time I took off, I made several trips back home to Corpus Christi. All I wanted was to be around my family, even if it meant being with my sister, because I couldn't be in Dallas. Nothing felt right. If I wasn't in Corpus, I was in Fort Worth with the Covingtons. The family started growing on me and Brett loved having me around. Being in the company of a goofball like him always brought a smile to my face, but Dawson wasn't pleased when he tried to teach me how to ride a bull. Not going to lie, it's the hardest thing I've ever done. There have been several times my South Texan ass has been thrown off by the mechanical bull. I don't even want to know what it's like on a real one.

Dawson and I were still going strong. We had our ups and downs but that was expected out of every relationship. He did his best to keep me happy, knowing Amelia gone from my life was taking its toll. Some nights, when everything was just too much to contain, I would curl up and cry for hours. Usually he was there, holding me against him while I cried myself to sleep. He saw me at my most vulnerable states and sometimes I wish he didn't have to.

On one of his off weeks, he surprised me with two plane tickets to Rome. I don't know who told him the deep love I had for it, but I wasn't opposed to going. It always took my breath away and being able to show him around was magical. It was definitely a week I needed to self reflect and ask myself if being a journalist was still something I could do. It gave me the answer I needed to find the strength and keep going.

Around two months ago, after coming back from the city I love, I decided to get back on staff. My editor was more than thrilled to have me back but I wasn't entirely ready to take on massive assignments just yet. I did what I like to call "fillers"— typically just any event happening in the area that needed coverage, whether it be for charity or a concert, I was covering them. I didn't know when I was going to be ready to take on another big assignment but luckily Lucas understood I needed time.

Dawson left for Kansas City earlier this morning and I got ready to head into the office. I needed the change in environment considering I opted to spend most of my time culling and editing from the comfort of my home. Dressing in the usual extra attire, I walked into the newsroom I fell in love with my Freshman year of college. It felt good to be back in the atmosphere I had come to love.

Sitting at my desk, I culled through the shots I got from the most recent assignment I was on. Going through every shot from the Jason Aldean concert, I was brought out of my work daze because of a slack notification I got from the visuals team.

URGENT @channel: Can anyone go check out what's happening at the municipal court on Main st? Try and talk with a PIO!

After reading the message, I bit my lip. I hadn't covered breaking in awhile. I didn't think I had the knack for it anymore but as always, I became more and more impatient with every photographer that said they couldn't. My fingers were typing before I could even stop them.

@channel I'll go.

Grabbing my camera bag, I took a deep breath before I shoved my recorder and notepad into the side pocket, leaving everything else at my desk while I ran out of the newsroom, running down Harwood to make it to the court house.

Today was not a good day to be wearing heels.

When I arrived, I wasn't expecting to see a SWAT car, along with multiple Dallas PD cars. I pushed through the crowd, flashing my badge when necessary, becoming frustrated when none of the officers would let me get closer.

"Anes, is that you? So glad to have you back." I heard a not-so-unfamiliar voice say.

"Detective Johnson, what's the sitch?"

 

[Lexus]

Detective Johnson ​

The media and I have never really gotten along. As much as I could try to understand they were trying to do their job by talking to me about mine, often times, it hindered me from doing what I needed to do for the public. Isabel, she was a different breed. Quiet and to the point, she was the kind of press member I didn't mind having at scenes and press confrences because I knew and came to trust that she would stay out of my way. We had an understanding, and after several occasions, I came to expect her around.

So, after months of her absence, it shocked me to see her at this particular scene, though it was very much like her to show up to an urgent disaster. Despite the gravity of the situation, I couldn't avoid the grin that crept across my aged face when she asked what was happening.

"Wouldn't you like to know," I replied. "I need to clear this area, back up, please, you're going to want this shot."

Right then, I pulled out the walkie talkie and made the command for the SWAT and bomb team to make their enterance into the courthouse, all the spectators gathering at the edge of the perimeter in distress, unsure what was happening because i had yet to release much information about this potenial bomb threat.

As the men decorated in their modern armor ran from the truck into the courhouse, I remained focus on the job at hand, but looked over mys shoulder to see Isabel getting lost in her element. I would followup with her later when this all this madness was over.


OOC: This scene will forever make me laugh because of the conversation that led up to it. I'll include it here:

Lexus & Izzzy on Facetime:

L: What's the sitch though?
I: What else would it be?
L: I DON'T KNOW, ISA
I: Why would SWAT be there?
L: Uhhh, I don't know. (A lot of reasons, actually.)
I: A bomb, Alexus! Everything blows up!
L: *Cries in embarrassment*

 

[isax]

Isabel​

Nodding at Detective Johnson, I moved back, readying my camera for the shot he knew I was going to want. It wasn't a lie, I did want it and I did my damn best to get it. As everything progressed, I was losing myself in my element, moving from where I was originally standing for a better angle as the SWAT team made their way into the courthouse. There was a lot of tension in the air, almost an ominous feeling, as the unknown was evident. There wasn't much information given out yet and the amount of citizens here worried me. I didn't want anyone to get hurt.

Not being satisfied enough with the angles I was given, I bit my lip, knowing I would get scolded for even considering going past the barricade the police team put up. I couldn't help myself though. I needed to get just a tad closer.

Don't push it.

I stayed where I was supposed to, watching the events unfold, getting shots while I could and updating my followers on Twitter, something I was known for doing since college. There was in fact a bomb present in the courthouse, someone slipped it in the bathroom and the time was literally ticking for the SWAT team to disable it. While I snapped shots, I realized I recognized someone from SWAT in them. Jayden.

Since when has he been part of SWAT? Lol, I really disconnected for awhile.

When everything was a success, the bomb was disabled, and the citizens gathered around the area were completely safe, I made my way past the barricade, looking specifically for Detective Johnson for a followup on the events of what just occurred. After I was able to get the information I needed, I thanked him, finally feeling like myself in the setting. It had been so long since I was in my element that now I was craving something more than just concerts and cultural events.

"It's always good having you here, Anes. Everything alright? You were gone for sometime." Detective Johnson asked, to which I gave the generic response.

"I just needed a break. It was getting to me." He accepted the answer for what it was. I let him get back to what needed to be done and when I finished putting away my camera, I heard someone call my name. Looking up, I smiled at Jayden, waving at him before I turned to leave and head back to the newsroom to upload the pictures I got. I knew the officer was going to tell Amelia I was here today but I didn't mind. I needed this.

You're back, Anes. Let's get this shit.

OOC:

I'll have y'all know, I didn't know SWAT could be called out for something more than just a bomb, oops.

 

[Lexus]

Please review page five before reading this to avoid confusion on some parts.


Dawson
Pensacola Beach, Florida​

I was watching the sunset over the Gulf of Mexico after another successful airshow, admiring the tranquility of the moment, the white sand, the smell of the sea breeze as the whooshing erupted my eardrums. It was in this moment, I understood why this was Amelia’s spot. Even though I had yet to meet her, in Isabel’s moments of vulnerability when she needed her best friend at her side but couldn’t get to her, I found the easiest way to calm her was to listen to her stories about Amelia. It was after Isabel broke down at Thanksgiving, she told me her best friend’s love for Florida beaches.

It made sense. It was the one place that made her feel at home no matter what emotion she was facing. The ranch did the same for me. So being here, in Amelia’s spot, made me feel close to her, even for just a little while.

I still didn’t have the honor and privilege of meeting the woman who put my love for her best friend before her entire reputation. Ankle-deep in the velvety sand, I exhaled heavily.

“Thank ya, Amelia,” I whispered with a soft smile, the sun fading past the horizon creating a shadow over the sea.

This moment sent chills down my spine 24 hours later.

It was nearly seven the next morning, I was already up and dressed in my uniform sipping the weak hotel coffee in gulps to avoid having to taste how disgusting it tasted, the grounds getting stuck in my teeth when I neared the end, when Jayden called.

Not thinking much of it, I answered casually, assuming he just got off his preferred night shift and needed to talk to stay awake to make it home.

“Hey bud, what’s up?”

My inference of the situation quickly changed at the sound of his voice.

Is he crying?

“Jay? What the hell is the matter? What did you see?” I asked sitting down on the edge of the bed I failed to make when I got up an hour ago.

“Jay?” I called again, feeling my ears grow hot in eerie anticipation.

Jayden had pulled the phone away, and I could hear him trying to catch his breath. He was crying. When he put the phone back up to his ear, he dropped the news and I dropped the phone.

So much was running through my head, but all of it made me think of the person I had to get to.

Isabel.

And that sentence was going to haunt me the rest of my life.

“Amelia’s dead, Dawson. Scarlett choked her to death in her cell.”

FADE OUT



Note: The underlined parts are not my writing.

Amelia​

FADE IN

“Hey, are you alright? You seem a little down." His voice was a little gaurbled and faint, like my head was underwater as I caught a breath, looking down into my lap over Isabel’s text again.

"Hi best friend. I know you probably don't want to talk to me but I love you and I'm sorry. Really really sorry. Can you come over sometime? I miss you."

Getting lost in my thoughts, I must have zoned out for longer than I thought thinking about the worst possible scenario that could occur if Isabel didn’t handle this the right way. I was still infuriated with her for not telling me up front about her and Dawson, so much so, I imagined myself having to die to protect her, and this damn naval cowboy? He wasn’t worth dying over. He wasn’t even worth wasting a breath, but here I was stressing over this shit situation he caused.

It was in getting lost in my own head, I had the worst epiphany as Jayden continued to try and flirt horribly. In our many notes he mentioned his best friend being the petty officer for the Blue Angels.

Okay, God, really? Is this some sick joke?? What did I do?

“Amelia?”

Gripping the coffee cup again I coughed, shaking my head before I looked at Jayden again, throwing my phone down for the countless time.

“I’m such an idiot, Oh my God. You’re friends with Dawson Covington, the same asshole that’s really fucking up my best friend’s career. No offense, but I think he’s a jerk,” I replied directly, not caring if I offended Jayden. I still needed to know how Isabel was going to dig herself out of this hole.

“Not to mention this stupid fling between them is pulling her away from me and of course, the universe had to make it so you were friends with him. This is just peachy, I’m having a great day.” In a laugh in effort to cope with this ridiculous reality, I brought my hands to my face again, feeling the panic flutter in my chest before I quickly looked up at Jayden again, laughing at his blank expression.

I was being completely irrational, not making a tender first impression meeting Jayden in person, a man I was supposed to respect because of his protecting society, but my manic laughter, I was sure was the turn off of his life.

 

[isax]

OOC: I didn't do what she asked and got confused, lol.

Jayden​

I was thrown back by Amelia's quick outburst of hostility. Her laughter instantly caught my attention, but because I knew what she was doing. It was her coping mechanism. Blinking as I listened to her, I became lost as to why me being best friends with Dawson was such a horrible thing. When she accused him of wrecking Isabel's career is what made everything click.

Oh god. You really did me wrong.

"You're Isabel's best friend? How peachy. I'll have you know, Dawson isn't the asshole you're making him out to be and it's not his fault Isabel stopped coming to you. Dawson is in just as much shit as Isabel is. He can be released from the Navy but yet you want to pin all the blame on him? They're adults, Amelia. Isabel is at fault just as much as Dawson is. I'm sorry me being best friends with him is so tragic for you."

Right now, I couldn't continue to sit here with the woman I found intriguing. I was hurt she acted the way she did. Isabel wasn't a child. She couldn't pin the blame on just one person because she can't handle Isabel not telling her anything. That was no one else's fault but Isabel's. Sighing softly, I stood up, pushing in my chair while leaning on it for support.

"I should go. Have a great day, Amelia."

With that, I left, not really wanting to look back. I needed to find it in me to calm down from the turn of events before I said something that would've really pissed Amelia off.

Thanks for ruining everything, Dawson.

Isabel​

When Amelia didn't respond to me, I let out a sigh while I sat at the island in my kitchen. I don't know what I was expecting. I knew she wasn't going to answer considering how angry she was with me, and she had every right to be. I didn't tell her jack shit about Dawson and I. I didn't tell her we were seeing each other, that I was breaking the ethical code for the one and only man I would love with all my heart. I didn't want to involve Amelia in case everything went south, but I realized I was losing her. There was only one thing I could do to fix everything, even if it meant Dawson and I couldn't be anything more for quite sometime.

I need to tell Amelia about that but more importantly, I need to drop the story.

Biting my lip, I opened a new text thread to my editor, trying to find a way to say I couldn't do this story. I couldn't let it be published. I knew he was going to be pissed. I knew I could lose my job at the DMN but right now, salvaging what little I had left with Amelia was more important. I was giving everything up for the only constant in my life that needed to be kept.

"Luke, I can't let this story be published. I need to drop it."

Lucas didn't understand at first, and I wasn't expecting him to, because I wasn't ready to fully come out and say I fell in love with one of the pilots. It just wasn't possible, but after a few moments passed, he said he wanted me in the office first thing tomorrow morning. I knew what this was. This was me giving back my press credentials for the DMN. I was going to have to start all over again. This story was supposed to be my it story, the one that opened so many opportunities for me, but it actually turned into the story I lost everything for. I needed emotional support, but I didn't expect Amelia to be my anchor.

Opening our text thread, tears streaming uncontrollably down my face, I released a deep breath before finding the words to say.

"I dropped the story. I go in tomorrow to more than likely cough up my press credentials for DMN. I think I need to pull away, take a break. There's also something I need to tell you. Please come over tonight."

After sending the text, I tossed my phone aside, hearing it ring just a few moments after. I knew who it was, I couldn't find it in me to answer it. I didn't want to talk to him just yet. I didn't have the strength to because the minute I did was the minute I ended everything.

I'm sorry, Dawson.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Catching my breath before Jayden spoke, I could see in his expression that I rubbed him the wrong way. Not to say it wasn't valid, I discredited his best friend as being a decent human being when I never met him. It was wrong to jump to conclusions, I knew that, I was also an adult, but anyone who knew anything about me, knew when it came to conflicts with Isabel, I never knew how to handle them rationally and I was impuslive and defense about it. Jayden, he didn't know me that well, and given what I just did, I knew he probably never would. I pushed him too far. Having nothing to say that could cure my embarrassment, I let Jayden go without saying a word, just nodding.

You really can be a bitch, Amelia.

One of my biggest flaws I despised was how easily frazzled I got over the stupidest things, and Jayden walking away, it set me off. I knew even if he didn't want to hear it, I needed to apologize. Too afraid to run after him, not knowing how he responded when he was angry, I pulled out my reporter's notebook and wrote an apology. Even if Jayden had no interest in and crumbled it up, that was his right, but I needed to clear my conscious. He wasn't wrong, this thing with Isabel and Dawson, whatever it was, after all I knew nothing about it, left both of them at fault. Isabel didn't have to go. Knowing this, my displeasure with her resurfaced when I recieved a second message after not replying to the first one. Not bothering to look at it this time, I wrote out my note for Jayden, threw away the half drinken coffee he kindly replaced and paid for his next plain black coffee, entrusting Lindsey with my note once again.

"I'm sorry about everything that happened when we met, it was certainly not my best first impression. This was the only thing I could think of to make it up to you. Again, I'm really sorry. Stay safe out there, Blue Eyes."

Throwing the purple gel pen back in my bag, I pulled out my phone and read what Isabel had to say this time. Not having the patience for her remorse, I called her out before agreeing to stop by when I made the time later that night. Considering she just made me feel like a fool again, this time to an almost complete stranger, it was difficult to remain civil.

"You're being irrational. You put this on yourself to face alone, No one said you had to. I'll be over tonight. I don't know when."

 

[isax]

Isabel​

Upon receiving Amelia's text, I became even more frustrated with myself over this entire situation. I didn't want Amelia to come if she was just going to continue throwing everything I've been doing wrong in my face. I didn't need her to call me out right now. I just needed her to listen to me, even if she couldn't be my anchor. I just needed to tell her what she didn't know, and that wasn't me dropping the story. It was about Olivia.

Olivia was the daughter Dawson and I could have had. She would've been my first born, and I would've been okay with losing everything for her, but the day to receive her in my arms never came and it never would. I lost her two weeks before Dawson and I came back to reality. We lost her and I know losing her broke Dawson. That's also part of the reason I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to know if he was upset with me.

I lost Olivia because of stress. The doctors said that was the only plausible explanation. I found it as their way of pinning it on me to get out of the situation. After they blamed me, I let it consume me, convincing myself I was the reason Dawson and I wouldn't be welcoming a baby girl in February. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe the timing just wasn't right.

Opening the text thread between Amelia and I, I quickly responded to her text the only way my emotions would let me.

"Then you don't have to come."

Later that night, I was in my living room, looking at the small book I made with the only sonograms I had of Olivia. It ended on the one with little words on the bottom that said 'It's a girl'. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was more than thrilled to be carrying a daughter, someone I hoped would grow up to be strong. Dawson was ecstatic and I knew the moment we welcomed Olivia into this world, she would have her daddy wrapped around her finger. I knew Dawson would've done anything for our child. He would've loved her.

As I continued to stare down at the sonogram, I heard the front door unlocking. I didn't have to look back to know it was Amelia. She was the only one with a key to my apartment. I knew she was still going to come, but right now, in my most vulnerable state, I wish she hadn't. She was right. I decided to carry everything that happened on this trip alone, not mentioning a single thing to her. I was a fool to think she would accept me telling her everything now.

When she shut the door behind her, I released a deep breath, closing the small picture book before I set it on the coffee table, not looking back at Amelia.

"You didn't have to come."

I said with no form of emotion in my voice. I had too many running through me to focus on just one. I was spiraling and I wasn't going to stop anytime soon. Today, I relived the emotions of losing Olivia, tomorrow I would lose my press credentials, and then after that, I was taking a break from the one thing I loved doing. I pushed Dawson away, not wanting to face him after being the reason he lost his daughter. I didn't know how long I was going to just take a break, but I did know I was essentially heartbroken.

"But since you came, I can tell you what you need to know. You're going to want to sit down for this one."

I watched as Amelia sat at the opposite couch, not wanting to focus on me. I deserved that. I didn't deserve her being my anchor right now.

"I was four months pregnant, Amelia. Dawson and I found out in July. At the end of October, we found out the gender. It was a girl. We decided to name her Olivia Grace Covington. I lost her two weeks before we came back. The doctors said these things, abortions, they happen a lot. I just never thought I would have one," I choked on my words, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. "They blamed me. I was too stressed and that stress led to the loss of my child. Pinning it all on me wrecked me but I took the blame. It was my fault. I'm the reason you'll never get to see your niece and Dawson his daughter. I broke him and that's why I've decided to distance myself from him. I'm sorry I didn't tell you all of this while it was happening. I guess I just didn't know how. I don't expect you to forgive me, but just know I really am sorry." As I finished, I couldn't continue holding back my tears. I let them fall, quickly wiping them away as all the emotions resurfaced for the third time.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

By this point, I just wanted the day to be over. Unable to get over my interaction with Jayden in the morning, and Isabel falling apart hovering over me, I was emtionally drained, but having told Isabel I would come over for her to drop whatever else she was keeping from me, I kept my word. I figured since we were keeping secrets, now would be a bad time to tell her I was relocating to Gauteamala after the holidays. I didn't want to add to her sulking session, even if she made it exremely difficult not to.

Sitting on the couch across from her, I listened to the confession she had to make, the unvietable tears falling at my own despair. I feared this happened. When I came to visit in Pensacola, I was able to put two and two together, but I didn't ask if it was true, because I knew I would be rash, and when I pictured the moment of isabel telling me she was going to be a mother, I pictured it to be a moment of elation and joy, not anger and misunderstanding, I wanted to be happy for her, so I kept my suspicion to myself, almost disappointed.

Wiping my tears away with the back of my hand, I whirled through my own rollercoaster of emotions. Of course, I felt devastation and sorrow for Isabel, she didn't deserve to lose a child, let alone feel like she was blamed for something she couldn't control. But my anger was still pretty prevalent. Not telling me about Dawson? i knew I could eventually get over that, it was her get out of jail free card, not telling me she was going to have a child? I don't think I could ever forgive her for that. It wasn't fair. If she would have just come to me, I would have helped her throught it, she wouldn't have felt so stressed and alone, and maybe she wouldn't be grieving in front of me.

How could you, Isabel? You're supposed to tell me everything.

I still couldn't even look at her, and I knew she was picking up on me visibily shaking from anger. I wasn't sure we could get passed this. Or at least I wasn't sure if I could consider myself her best friend anymore.

"I want to feel sorry for you, I do, and I am sorry you lost a child, but really, Isabel? Really? You think keeping me out of this was the best thing to do? You think that I could handle you coming home with Dawson and having a child with him without even mentioning it? Who in hell would think I would be okay with that? If you told me I could have helped you. There's not much I can do now. Do what you want with the story and with Dawson, I don't think it really matters anymore. But don't push him away because he's the only person who was there to help you when no one else was. Just because you feel guilty for how you treated me, doesn't give you the right to treat him like he's nonexistent now. He's grieving too, and I would hope, a man you thought was worth pushing me away for, would be more than just a stupid fling."

 

[isax]

Isabel​

That was it. That was the final thing I needed to make the last thread of hope, of sanity and of happiness, to snap and become nonexistent. I was empty. It had been so long since I felt like this. I knew thought it would happen but like both times, it happened because of me and no one else. I couldn't blame Amelia or Dawson. They both deserved better than me. All I could do was hope they found it. All I wanted was for them to be happy, even if I couldn't bring it to them anymore.

Releasing another heavy sigh, I tried to stop from crying, wiping away my tears as I nodded in response to Amelia before I found the words to say. This was our final goodbye. I knew the minute she walked out of my door, I would never see her again. I lost my best friend. I did the one thing I promised her I would never do. I kept secrets from her.

You deserve this, Anes.

"Don't think of Dawson like that, because that's not at all how I thought of him. He isn't the reason I pushed you away but nothing I say will change your perception of him, and that's fine. It's not like you'll ever have to meet him or be around him," I laughed, trying to hide my real feelings. It was our way of coping. "I should go to sleep. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I plan on moving out of this city. There's not really anything for me here anymore and you'll be fine without me. You're going to Guatemala anyways." I saw her surprised expression. She hadn't mentioned it but it was the talk of the AP and DMN newsrooms.

"Word spreads around fast in this city. You know that. I wish you the best of luck. This is what you've always wanted and I know you can do it. Keep being the voice you were always destined to be." Standing up, I hugged the blanket that I had wrapped around me tighter. "You know the way out. Love you long time, Amelia."

The Following Morning​

Going into the Dallas Morning News building for the last time was bittersweet. I wasn't ready to give back my press credentials. I wasn't ready to leave the newsroom I dreamed about being in ever since I started my journalism career during college. I ruined it all. My relationship with Dawson, my friendship with Amelia, my career, everything. I wanted to get out of here, get to a city where I could start fresh. I needed it but the only place I could think of going to was back home, back to Corpus Christi. I didn't want to face everyone there. I didn't want to hear every say they knew I wouldn't make it.

After giving up everything I had that belonged to the DMN, I left the building, looking up at it with a weak smile before sighing, walking to Overeasy, my favorite spot, before I went back to my apartment and started packing everything, finding a place to live in Corpus. I came to the diner because I asked Dawson to meet me when I woke up this morning. He was more than quick to respond and say yes. I needed to tell him. I needed to give him closure. I needed the closure.

When Dawson walked in, I smiled weakly, wiping away my tears that had been falling with the back of my hand. When our waiter came for our drink order, I ordered a mimosa, needing the alcohol right now. There was no way I could get through this with a sober conscience. I didn't say anything to Dawson for awhile, and after a couple sips of the adult orange juice beverage, I finally met his eyes with my own, biting my lips, a nervous tick of mine.

"Dawson, there's something I need to tell you," I began, "I dropped the story and with dropping it, I lost my press credentials at the Dallas Morning News. I lost Amelia because I kept Olivia a secret from her and well, I lost you because of it too. I'm sorry. I wish I could go back in time and make sure I did everything to ensure Olivia was still here with us, but I can't. It's my fault she isn't. I think I need a fresh start, one out of this city. I want to move, Six." I didn't want to tell him where. I didn't want him to know I was retreating back to the southern roots I came from.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

“Isabel, stop! You don’t get to act like this! You don’t get to make me feel guilty for upsetting you when you’re the one who decided not to tell me anything for almost a year. If it wasn’t because of Dawson, then there really is no excuse. You can try to make one but it’s not going to fix this and for you to defend him to me only proves that there’s something there. Stop denying it because you left your little universe together, you had a choice and you made it. You don’t get to be upset because you decided you didn’t need me the second you caught feelings for Dawson. I thought I knew you better than that.”

The next morning
Dawson​

Meeting Isabel at the diner gave me an unsettling feeling. After losing our daughter, the two of us wallowed, attempting to distract ourselves with returning back to our day- to- day lives. I decided giving her some space was ideal. On my end, the loss was indescribable. Obviously, the baby wasn’t planned and when we found out Isabel was pregnant, it stirred some panic on how we would handle it. We weren’t in the best situation to come out and tell the world. Our relationship was still kept a secret then, and even I couldn’t deny that things between us were happening a little too fast.

After ending things with Josie because we never saw eye to eye on the future, having a child with a woman who sent me second guessing in the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, wasn't what I wanted so soon. I was enjoying the time to get to know all the ins and outs of who she was. The fast turn around made my head spin. However, the moment I decided to make it work because it was beyond us now, there was another life to consider, I began getting comfortable with the new reality of having a daughter, Olivia, when suddenly the future I was handed was stripped away from me.

When Isabel lost Olivia, I felt a bout of tremendous guilt. Because in the beginning I was so afraid that I did take it for granted. I never considered the possibility of losing our daughter, never mind after giving her a name and establishing her as a person.

As gut wrenching as my grief was, what Isabel was going through was unfathomable to me. She was the one with the connection to our daughter. She felt her every movement and already started to form a bond, and for that connection to be terminated before Isabel got to hold the life she was growing inside her, was a pain I would never wish on her, and if I could take it back, I would have.

The first thing I did when I saw her was take her into a hug, kissing the top of her head, not caring if anyone saw. I wanted to be there for her in her time of need. Pulling away when she didn’t keep a grip on me, I sat across from her, offering a broken grin before politely requesting a coffee. My cup wasn’t even brought to me before Isabel laid it al out for me.

I learned over the months we spent together, she was often difficult to get through to when she was upset, and when she was, she placed all the blame on herself, saying things she didn’t mean as a front to protect others. I stopped buying it.

Articulating her spontaneous decision, my eyes went wide and I shook my head in refusal.

“You have lost your damn mind if you think I’m just going to let you walk away from me again. You’re not getting rid of me that easily again, Isabel. We need to talk about this, Amor. what happened with Olivia, isn’t your fault, so stop blaming yourself. You’ve been through enough and there are so many reasons it didn’t work out, it’s a common thing and they were just looking to give you an answer because they thought the unknown would hurt you worse, but they don’t know you. You did the best you could. Everything your going through, is tough, but you’re not alone. Let me help you, please. If you want to take a break and move somewhere new, you can come to Fort Worth and try it out there, if you don’t like it, we can figure something else out.”

 

[isax]

Isabel​

I didn’t deserve a man like Dawson in my life. I didn’t deserve how determined he was to keep me here with him. How he wanted to help me through everything I did to fuck myself over. He was too precious and I didn’t deserve the kind of treatment he wanted to offer. Considering what I did, I didn’t deserve anyone. I deserved to be alone.

By now, Dawson knows how my mind works, and I know that’s why he refused to let me leave. My mind is a never ending whirlwind of thoughts and emotions and most times I never know how to make it stop. This is where I got my favorite phrase: spiraling. Every time everything became too much in my head, I spiraled. It was more common than not and I know Dawson didn’t buy into my the tics that happened during it. I usually pinned all the blame on me, wanting to not cause harm to others. Sometimes, that bites me in the ass.

Sighing, I looked at the beautiful naval pilot I got to know over the year. It was a beautiful time where all my focus was on him, learning what made him think, what made him happy. Learning his habits and how they made him who he is. It was an amazing time but now that we were back in reality, I couldn’t not face everything that came crashing down. Despite what he said, I still blamed myself, and I always would.

“I don’t deserve to have you in my life, Six. You really don’t have to be by my side through this. I don’t expect you to. Not after what I put you through. It’s my fault all of this happening.”

Feeling defeated, I stopped talking. I shut down, closing myself off once again. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I didn’t want to say something I would regret again. Closing my eyes, I closed my hands together, squeezing so hard that I flinched at the slightest pinch of pain due to my nails digging into my skin. My chest was getting tight, everything surrounding me was getting closer and closer, I was feel suffocated until I felt Dawson’s hands take mine. Opening my eyes, I quickly looked away, giving into the emotions, crying silently as I gazed out the window.

“I fucked up. I lost everything. My job, Olivia, Amelia. I could lose you too. I don’t know what I did to deserve this but I can’t blame anyone. Instead of ending the friendship I had with Amelia on a good note, we argued and I made her feel guilty when none of this was her fault. She’s right ya know. I have no right making her feel bad for upsetting me when I did this to myself. I didn’t tell her shit while we were away. Didn’t confide in her like I should have. It’s my fault I lost her. I did the one thing I told her I would never do. I kept secrets.”

Taking my hands away from his, I didn’t say much more, just took a sip of my mimosa before I set it down and skimmed the menu, trying to find something to eat even if I wasn’t hungry. After ordering a simple bowl of oatmeal, I tapped my fingers against the table. A tic I did when I was in my thoughts.

“But I can’t change that now can I? All I can do is keep going. As much as I love this city, there’s nothing for me here. I can’t get a job here without people doubting me because of dropping such a big story. I could try in Fort Worth with the Star Telegram but I know I shouldn’t. I don’t deserve to be in the field anymore. All I can think of doing is moving to Fort Worth, so we can be together, and start a studio company,” I laughed, “I always told myself I would rather die than do studio photography but look at that. Guess karma got me right in the ass.”

All I could do was keep going, even if life wasn’t going to be how I planned it to be. I still had Dawson, all his love and support. Fort Worth was going to be my fresh start. I was going to find a way to keep going, even if it meant putting up a facade.

Six Months Later: May
Jayden​

The air was rather cool today for a normal Monday during the month of May. There was usually never a time for colder weather but for some reason, a cool front came in. It was supposed to be the last one before summer and I was looking forward to the heat. I was tired of these low hanging grey clouds and cold air. I needed a change.

Making my way into the usual cafe, I smiled at the newly hired barista before going to take my usual seat after ordering the usual black coffee. Being here always reminded me of Amelia and most of the time, it was annoying. We stopped talking to each other on semi-good terms. After I stormed out in a rage from her shit talking Dawson, I read her apology note and wrote her one back, but after that, I never heard from her or saw her again. According to Isabel, she left for Guatemala, which the south Texan was more than happy about. When Isabel mentioned it, she was beaming at how proud of Amelia she was for finally making her way up to where she wanted to be. Seeing the used-to-be photojournalist like that was rare and I know it was something Dawson tried to cherish while it lasted.

Over the six months, I spent most of my time with Dawson and Isabel in Fort Worth if I wasn't working. Dawson offered to have Isabel move to the ranch, but Isabel wasn't entirely ready to give up the city scene. Even if Fort Worth's skyline was smaller than Dallas, she found a cute studio apartment and moved in. From what Dawson told me and what I observed, Fort Worth wasn't for her, but she was just going through the motions, trying to make herself happy after losing Amelia. I didn't think she would ever be happy and I know my best friend already came to that conclusion.

As I sat in full uniform, waiting for my coffee, I heard heels clicking against the floor. The sound was foreign to me. It was something I never really heard here after Amelia left. Looking up, I glanced at the door, trying to see who it was because there was no way in hell it was Amelia.

It is Amelia.

I wasn't expecting Amelia to ever come back to Dallas, let alone waltz into this cafe after spending six months away. Sighing, I let shook my head, holding back a chuckle before I looked at Lindsey. I knew she caught on to what I was asking without saying a single word. I was paying for Amelia's drink despite the rocky ending we had. Hearing her order, I laughed when Lindsey told her it was already paid for, pointing in my direction when Amelia asked by who. Nodding at her, I stood up when Alyssa, the new hire, called my name for my cup of joe. Grabbing it, I took a content sip before I turned towards Amelia direction.

"It's shocking to see you back here. I didn't think you'd ever come back once you got out. How's Guatemala treating you?" I asked her, just trying to make small conversation. I didn't want things to be awkward but when she responded, I was more than content. She wasn't going to fight me this time.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Coming back from Gautemala was an adjusting period. After living in a ‘luxury home” that still consisted of dirt floors and no AC, I was humbled real quick from the standard of living I was born into. The AP sent me canned foods and plenty of clean water, but I never took these things out in public because I felt guilty for not being able to share them with the same people who were constantly trying to offer me the last of what they had.

As a result, I lost most of my body fat and learned to live off of a small calorie intake. Most days, I spent spectating in the villages, sitting in on school days, learning the route people had to travel for clean water, watched in amazement at the crafts women hand spun to make a living, selling their creations of clothes and jewelry in the marketplace for almost nothing..

Over the first month, it took a lot of patience to gain the trust I needed to gain authentic access into the natives lives. But once I had, it was one of the greatest joys to be able to tell their stories in every way I knew how.

Through their trust the villagers let me document their most private moments. Family dinners, deaths, births, celebrations, the moments of chaos are what got to me the most. Watching these people who learned to trust me lose their homes to riot fires and machine gun fights put things into perspective for me. Some days, it took everything I ad to pick up the camera and document this history, because it was too unimaginable for me to comprehend it being real.

After watching children starve to death, or watching their mothers get beat senseless by their fathers until eventually, one mother ended up getting murdered for not obeying her husband, I knew then I had enough. As a woman who valued her independence and human rights, I couldn’t stomach another woman losing her life for not submitting to the Ludacris demands of a man she was supposed to consider superior.

After five months, I called my editor and requested to come home. Three days later, they pulled me. I was grateful that I had the privilege to be able to escape but I felt so guilty knowing I could leave and the women I was documenting didn’t have the same luxury.

America, I came to learn was too loud and there was too much light, setting off my sleep schedule, Needless to say, I was still acclimating myself.

Returning to my American newsroom, I was uncomfortable. Being back in Dallas, I almost wished I wasn’t. It made me think of Isabel. I didn’t want to think about her. I was too ashamed by how things happened between us to dwell on it for too long. Regardless, I wasn’t finished with my work here in Dallas so I had to move past it. It was a big enough city that I hoped I would never have to run into her. I couldn’t face her. I knew if I had to, I would be too much of a coward and run away.

Three weeks after returning to a fully furnished apartment with fully functioning AC, I spent most of my time editing my projects in the newsroom wanting to reinterduce myself to the many noises and vast amount of people; a big part of it was not wanting to be alone though.

Now that Isabel and I weren’t speaking, I didn’t have anyone to keep me company here, it was just myself, so on a unheard of impulse I rescued a boxer from the shelter who was previously used in a puppy mill just to be constantly breed. I named her Roo. We bonded immediately, she just wanted love and I showered her in it after what I knew she’d been through. She was the best part of everyday.

Today, I had to take her to the vet for a round of heartworm treatment, but first, I needed to sop into work to transcribe an interview from one of my Gautemala sources, I did over the phone the night before, in desperate need of the follow up. But first coffee.

I knew stopping into the café I used to frequent was a risk, but because I was severely caffeine deprived, I was willing to take it. Or at least I thought I was, until I heard his voice.

Jayden.

Considering how we left off on a bad foot, I didn’t expect his greeting to be so, chipper. I expected the man to hate me. Not knowing how to avoid the awkwardness, I just gave him a gentle grin.

“I left, so I guess okay. It was a lot harder than I expected it to be, but it was still worth it. I met some pretty remarkable people. But there are some things I saw that I wish no one had to see.”

He doesn’t care, Amelia, he was just trying to be nice. Stop unloading on someone who probably resents you for being so self-centered before you left. He doesn’t know you’ve changed. It’s too late for that now.

Feeling like an idiot, I retracted. For some reason whenever I was around Jayden, I could never articulate myself in the right way.

“How are you?” I asked politely not knowing what else to say, expecting him to reject my returning the conversation.

 

[isax]

Jayden​

I wasn't expecting to hear Amelia say she decided to come back to Dallas from Guatemala. That was the last thing I would have ever thought would happen, especially because this was the one thing Amelia wanted to do with her life. Isabel had mentioned it being rough in Guatemala lately and I suppose she was right. Amelia left and she would have never left without a good reason. Biting my lip, I smiled at her gently when she asked how I was. Nothing major had happened in the six month span that she was away.

"It's good to have you back then. I'll continue paying your drinks forward," My smile didn't fade as I continued. "I've been good. I spend most of my time out in Fort Worth on Dawson's ranch when I'm not working. Other than that it's just work, sleep eat then repeat. Nothing exciting really."

Looking back at her, I sighed softly. I wish she knew Isabel wasn't alright. I wish she could help Dawson and I figure out how to make her happy. I was just at a loss as Dawson. The only other person who knew her more than my best friend was the woman standing in front of me but I wasn't going to mention it. I'm sure Amelia was doing her best to stay hidden from Isabel. At that thought, I couldn't stop myself fast enough when her name slipped from my mouth.

"Does Isabel know you're back?" When I saw the petite woman instantly retreat, I knew she purposely didn't want Isabel to know. She was being a coward. They both were and I just didn't get it. I didn't get why they were putting themselves through such unhappiness because of something they both did.

"Sorry, I should've figured she didn't considering the two of you aren't exactly on speaking terms. I shouldn't have brought her up."

Getting into the mess between Isabel and Amelia wasn't something I had the right to do, but I felt like both of them needed to accept that they messed up. Isabel blamed herself for the past six months, not allowing herself to truly be happy. That tore Dawson apart and Amelia, well, she seemed like she was the better one out of the two. I couldn't fathom what she saw when in Guatemala but she seemed like she was getting back into the swing of being in the city. She was still doing what she loved. I couldn't say the same for Isabel.

"What was Guatemala like?" I tried changing the subject, trying to make the air less thick and awkward.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

I knew it was only a matter of when Jayden was going to bring Dawson and Isabel up. Unlike last time though, I remained calm over it. They were his friends and he had a right to talk about them. I respected that. Unlike what I’m sure the expected of me, I didn’t hold any resentment towards Isabel or Dawson. After seeing people turn against their own families to become mass murders at the direction of a corrupted government, Isabel not telling me about Dawson or Olivia was minuscule. Of course, I was upset over it for quite some time because we were more than best friends. I declared Isabel to be the one person on Earth I could put all my trust into, and I wanted to believe I would always be the same for her. I didn’t believe there was any harm in telling me how rapidly her life was changing, but maybe I was wrong. It was all a part of the past now, and I wished her and Dawson the best in building their life together.

Hearing her name did sting, but hearing she was still with Dawson brought me a sense of relief. I was glad our downfall didn’t turn out to be for nothing.

When Jayden asked if Isabel knew I returned I flinched because I knew he was going to consider me a coward and from his prospective, it was plausible. But Isabel broke our ties months before I left, so I didn’t see it fit to mention I returned. Even though, she was the only one who would understand the headspace I was in and the changes I was undergoing because of it. But because I chose to doubt my place in her life, I didn’t feel I had the right to confide in her now that I was struggling. Her assignment with the Blue Angels changed her in a drastic way too, and I just left her to sink because of it.

Taking my cup of coffee with just milk, there was no sugar in Guatemala, so I learned to drink without, I turned back towards Jayden shaking my head at his apology.

“It’s fine, I promise. Don’t worry about it. Thanks for the cup by the way, but you don’t have to keep doing it. “

Moving away from the pickup counter, I decided to try and add sugar to my coffee, wondering if I would be able to drink it like I used to. Picking up the sugar canister, I shrugged when Jayden asked what Guatemala was like.

What was I supposed to tell him?

I knew if I was completely honest he would never be able to sleep at night. But I also couldn’t sugarcoat it. That was the point of my job, to inform people of the truths happening in the world, even if they were horrific.

“How honest of an answer do you want and how much time do you have?” I asked, leaving it up to him on what he would find out. It wasn’t until I finished stirring in the sugar I looked back at him again. I knew there was a high probability whatever I told him, he would go back and tell Isabel and Dawson, but I didn’t mind. It was already out there on the internet for anyone who wanted to read it to see. Not only through my assignments I picked up while I was there, but through the blog I kept for my personal experience. Since college I found it important to paint the most realistic picture of a journalist for the public, and using myself was the easiest way. I documented things about myself I knew would turn people away, but again, it was my duty to deliver the truths. So, I used one camera to tell the peoples stories and another for mine.

Over the months I spent away from home, I took pictures of my own progression. The weight loss, lack of hygiene, the many injuries I gained, they scars they created. I did my best to capture the feeling of isolation and doubt, but those pictures didn’t turn out as raw as I hoped they had in my head. Not that it mattered, I didn’t think the photos of myself were of importance compared to what I was actually there to capture. The people I was photographing, they lived the way I had been for their whole lives. They didn’t know anything different.

Now that it was over, I became a lot less entitled, and right now, I remained quiet, because now, the same feeling of entitlement I once had that I saw in everyone since I returned irked me. Even though he only encountered me for a few minutes now, I was sure Jayden picked up on my difference in demeanor. It wasn’t hard to tell. He knew me before I left and since returning he was the only familiar face I knew I would run into, and despite being hesitant at first, the familiarity of another person brought me comfort even though he wouldn’t realize it.

 

[isax]

Jayden​

I picked up on how Amelia changed from the last time I saw her but I couldn't pin down exactly why she did. She lost a lot of weight, which worried me because she already pretty small before. She looked at the sugar container as if it was foreign to her, like if she went without it for the six months that she was gone. She was quieter, not really speaking much, lost in thought. I didn't like that. She looked like how Isabel does everyday, stuck in her thoughts, letting it effect how she acts. I didn't get it and I probably never would. I wasn't a journalist. The only one who would understand Amelia's current headspace was in her own and not talking to her.

They're a mess.

I didn't know what Guatemala was like, and I didn't want her to talk about it out in the public if it was anything like I feared it to be. I wanted to know more, because I was naturally curious. If it was anything like I thought it was, I could only imagine the kind of strength Amelia has to get through it.

"I just got off a shift, so I have all day. It's a matter of what do you want to tell me, Amelia. If you're not up for it, you don't have to."

Making Amelia uncomfortable wasn't something I wanted to do. If she didn't want to open up, I wasn't going to force her to, but sleeping after this was the last thing on my mind. I needed to talk to Dawson about this. About Amelia and how much she changed. I didn't get it so I figured maybe he would help me understand. I just had to make sure Isabel wasn't around. I didn't want to push the one button we learned not to over the six months.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

“Sit,” I replied gently pulling out my own chair and getting out my laptop from my bag.

“If I wasn’t up for talking about it that would have defeated the purpose of going. But it’s better to show you then tell you. I’ve learned it sets in for people better.” Logging into the computer I pulled up my the Guatemala tab I recently added to my portfolio and turned the laptop in his direction, handing him the headphones to go with it in case he wanted to watch the documentary I did on women’s rights and them explaining their personal accounts with domestic violence. I was never one to take pride in my work, but that one brought me to tears every time. It took almost a month to finish because I could only stomach editing it for so long.

“Go to town, I’m going to order some food,” I said getting up with my bulky deep purple wallet. I wasn’t in any rush to leave, I could transcribe at home really, I just wanted to get out. Roo’s vet appointment wasn’t until four and it was still early morning. Deciding on an egg and cheese bagel I watched Jayden from afar, almost nervous that he was actually looking over my unimpressive portfolio. I was sure Isabel probably already showed him what I left open, but I left it open anyway.

By the time I returned with breakfast and a water, he had headphones in so I didn’t want to disturb him. To past the time, I scrolled through the morning news rush on my phone, luckily, not much was going on.

When we made eye contact again, Jayden was pulling the headphones out of his ears. Not sure what to say I just smiled weakly.

“Does that answer your question?”

 

[isax]

Jayden​

When Amelia instructed me to sit, I sat. I watched her carefully as she pulled out her laptop and headphones, setting everything up for me to see. I knew what she was showing me. She was showing me her story on what went on in Guatemala and I wasn't sure if I was ready. Isabel only showed me bits and pieces, and it was never because she wanted to. It was mainly because I caught her looking at it sometimes. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw and when I finished the documentary, all I could do was hold back tears.

Looking up at Amelia, I had no words to give when she asked me if that answered my question. It did so much more than answer it. Biting my lip, I simply nodded, taking the few seconds I needed in order to process everything I just saw before I responded to the journalist that witnessed this first hand. I would never understand the work journalists do, and I admired Amelia and Isabel so much more for it, even if Isabel wasn't in the field right now.

"It did more than just answer my question. I can't even imagine what it was like for you. You're strong, Amelia. Not just anyone can cover that." I whispered softly, clearing my throat when I felt my voice crack, quickly occupying myself by taking a sip of the cold coffee in my hands. Now I knew why Amelia changed but what I didn't get was why she put herself in that situation. Why did any journalist do it?

"So you're back for how long? Finishing out your time at the AP?" I asked, hoping she didn't leave anytime soon. Hearing my phone ding, I glanced at it resting in between the both of us, grabbing it to see what it was. Isabel had texted me asking if I wanted to come over for dinner tonight at the ranch. She was sweet but after Amelia and I left the cafe, I was going to get some sleep. I decided not to answer her right now and focused my attention back to Amelia.

"What does this mean for you? Are you okay? Were you hurt while you were there?"