Realistic or Modern Anchored by Love (Draft Four... lol)

[isax]

Jayden​

I was thankful Amelia didn't press me anymore about my uncle and what he did. I was even more so thankful that she didn't verbalize her condolences. I knew they were genuine, not empty like most who hear the story and just don't know what to say. I knew she cared more than anyone but I wasn't ready to hear them. I learned to tune apologies out after the first year of his death. Maybe one day, if she and I continued to get close, I would like to hear them, but ever since his death, I never set back in Chicago. I wasn't ready to fully let go and thinking about that was so draining.

You need to learn to let go. It's been ten years, Jay.

Pushing all thoughts aside, I gave Amelia my full attention as she told me about her family. They sounded like amazing people, sort of like my own, and knowing her grandfather was the only northerner out of them made me chuckle. It was the same for my father except my mom didn't let him move down to Alabama. She chose to stay away from her southern roots and lived with my dad in Chicago. I never understood why because that woman was more southern than she liked to admit.

"New York huh? Interesting. Your family sounds like my kind of people and how much you love them can be heard when you talk about them. I'm intrigued though. I wonder how your grandfather found himself in Florida. That's an interesting place to move to." I smiled, taking another bite of my food. "And you? What was growing up in your family like?"

Isabel​

Smiling softly when Dawson kissed my hand, I relaxed a little more, getting comfortable in the leather seat that seemed to engulf me while I listened to him. Wrinkling my nose, I acknowledged the statement about me staying for forever at the ranch. It's not that I didn't like the idea. I just didn't feel ready to take that step, especially when I was so fragile now and days. I wasn't ready to give up the life of living in the city yet, even if it wasn't as glamorous as I hoped it would be. I know Dawson and I dated long enough where it made sense to move in, and I know he hated that I had a separate apartment, but I just couldn't convince myself staying permanently was a good choice right now.

That isn't fair to him, Isabel. You know that.

In an attempt to brush off the slight tension, I released a soft laugh, smiling contently at the thought of Apollo, my small Maltipoo, hating my cowboy. Dawson always exaggerated about that. I didn't think Apollo had any problem with him.

"Maybe one day I'll call the ranch my forever home but you're so mean to Apollo! He doesn't hate you. He's warmed up to you by now, so leave my baby alone. All he ever wants is to protect me despite his small size. You're just sad I give him more attention than you at times," Sticking my tongue out at the cowboy, I laughed again before moving closer to him, laying my head on his shoulder for comfort. I wanted this.

"Where are you taking us for wings?" I asked softly, closing my eyes as I attempted to fully allow myself to relax. I was known for keeping all the stress pent up which caused my body to always be tense. "Te amo mucho."

 

[Lexus]

*FADE TO BLACK*
The Following Saturday
Amelia​

It was the first week of December, the ice was starting to slate and the Christmas lights were being strung, signifying what was supposedly the most harmonious time of the year. For me, this time of year was a constant reminder of everyone I lost, Isabel was now included in that. This would mark the first Christmas without her since we met. I tried not to trigger the thought too much, I knew if I did, I would through myself into a depression I wouldn't be able to dig myself out of on my own, and considering I still felt alone here right now, I refused to allow myself to grieve the season never being the same.

Today was Saturday, meaning I was "going out" with Jayden after Lindsey cornered me. I knew her intentions were sweet, but I was by no means looking for anything serious right now, I could barely take care of myself, let alone care about someone else and getting serious with Jayden? Out of the question. But yet, there I stood in front of the full-length mirror in my room brushing out my long, blonde hair repeatedly, bringing out my curls, and second-guessing my outfit three times before I settled on a simple outfit that I hoped made it appear like I wasn't trying so hard. Picking out a black and white striped tee and light-washed jeans, I layered it with a tan-colored leather jacket and bulky scarf to match my dark brown boots. Changing my purse to watch the outfit, I looked back at myself in the mirror and shook my head.

"What are you doing, Amelia?" I whispered, jumping when I heard a knock at the door, jumping out of the skin, I held my hand to chest, feeling my heart thud aggressively against my hand, the adrenaline pulsating through my fragile veins. Shushing Roo as she ran to the door barking obnoxiously, I pushed her out of the way, taking a deep breath before I opened the door, knowing full well who was on the other side. He was right on time too.

"Hi," I said gently, opening the door for Jayden to come in. "How are you today?" I asked while Roo said her hellos to Jayden. I found it strange how quickly she warmed up to him considering the volunteers at the shelter told me she had a fear of men considering she was more than likely abused by them.

"She really like you, huh," I said biting my lip from my own confusion. "That doesn't normally happen."

 

[isax]

Jayden​

I was more than nervous when Saturday finally came. I never thought Amelia would agree to going on a date with me, and I felt a lot of pressure about not messing this up. I talked to Dawson about it last night after Isabel went to sleep and all he said was for me not to screw this up. I knew he was right. I couldn't afford to screw up because losing Amelia wasn't an option. I had a feeling nothing would come of this, but I wanted to humor the thought that something would.

I woke up rather early for a day off from work. I wanted to ensure that I got everything set up right for the date and I could only hope Amelia loved it. When it got closer to the time to pick her up, I took a shower then got dressed, deciding on a grey long sleeve with my navy winter coat over it with light grey jeans and my brown boots. Considering I was from the north, the cold never really got to me in Dallas. After fixing my hair and ensuring I looked fine, I walked out of my apartment, heading straight to my car to pick up Amelia.

When I arrived to the address she sent, I jumped out of my car, quickly walking up to her door. Looking at the time, I chuckled, realizing I arrived right when I told her I would. Knocking on the door, I smiled when I heard Roo start barking, but when Amelia opened the door, I lost my breath as I looked at her. She was gorgeous.

Smiling, I nodded in acknowledgment before I walked into her apartment.

"Hey. You look beautiful." I said softly before answering her question. "I'm doing pretty good. Didn't really sleep in which is shocking. What about you?" I asked her softly, bending down to give Roo the attention she was seeking from me with a laugh. I was puzzled when Amelia said it wasn't normal for Roo to take a liking to someone so fast. "Oh? Why's that?"

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Unsure how to respond to Jayden's compliment, I just disregarded it, grateful the subject was quick to change. "I'm okay," shrugging my shoulders casually while I fed and watered Roo before we left to the mystery destination Jayden was adamant about keeping a secret every time I tried to get him to relent in our text conversation, which he was getting quite flirty in, I might add, and as much as it was exciting for me, there was a ping of guilt because I knew this was wrong. Realistically, I needed to put a stop to it, but I figured, to please Jayden and Lindsey, I would give him this one opportunity, knowing it would end in disappointment for me either way.

"Well, she had a rough life before we found each other, she was used extensively for breeding in the puppy mills and her rescuers suspected the guys running the mill beat her whenever she displeased them, so she's more hesitant of men. They preferred if a woman adopted her. But even though she went through trust training to learn not be afraid, she still likes to keep a distant at first."

Setting her bowls down I grabbed my purse from the couch.

"You said to dress comfortably, so I hope this works for whatever you have planned today."

 

[isax]

Jayden​

I was saddened when Amelia told me Roo's backstory. No pup should ever have to be treated like that but I was content knowing she now had a forever home with Amelia. Both of them were helping each other be happy and that made me happy. I watched as Amelia fed her, ensuring the pup had everything she needed while we were away for the night. I could only hope Amelia enjoyed what I had in store.

Smiling when she grabbed her purse, I nodded. "You look just fine. I hope you like what I have planned for us. It involves just a little bit of a drive." I told her sheepishly, opening the apartment door for her as we made our way out.

"See ya later, Roo!" I called out to the pup who barked in response, causing me to chuckle while Amelia locked the door. I lead her to my car, opening her door for her before I shut it, walking around to the driver's side, quickly getting in.

As we drove to our destination, I could Amelia was getting uneasy not knowing where we were going. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable so I decided to tell her where we were headed but not what we were going to do once we arrived. I didn't want to spoil the main surprise. It took me a bit to come up with this idea.

"Relax Amelia, I'm not kidnapping you. We're going to Irving. Twenty minutes out of Dallas. Have you ever been?" With how much Isabel loved exploring the Dallas metroplex, I would've assumed Amelia joined her for those adventures before they stopped being friends, but I didn't want to mention it. Bring up Isabel had a similar effect on Amelia like bringing Amelia up to Isabel had. I didn't want to spoilt the night.

When we finally arrived to Irving, I drove through the suburb, heading straight for Las Colinas, a smaller district of Irving. Parking the car near the lake, I let out a content sigh as I turned off the car, thankful the cold wasn't too harsh today.

"Alright. You ready?" I asked her, getting out to open her door, taking her hand as I lead her to a dock my the lake, smiling when I saw Francesca.

"Jayden!" The older woman who looked to be in her sixties said as she saw us. She stood right next to a gondola that was reserved just for Amelia and I with our singer at the end.

"Hi Francesca. Thank you so much for reserving one for me on short notice." I said softly.

"Of course. Anything for you. You must be Amelia. You're even prettier in person love."

Smiling when the older woman complimented Amelia, I thanked her again before she left us to go on our ride. Taking Amelia's hand, I helped guide her into the gondola first before I got in after her, sitting right next to her. The skyline was stunning from here. It was decorated for Christmas and I knew then this was the perfect choice with all the decoration surrounding us along with the Dallas skyline out in the distance.

"So what do ya think? I hope you don't mind me keeping this a secret now."

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Going to Irving was not a new experience for me, however, what Jayden decided to do was. This was my first time on a gondola, and I was nervous, I didn't want it to tip over, but I tried not to think about it too hard, calming my anxiousness with the sounds of the water. I stayed pretty quiet the whole time, not realizing how awkward that must have been for Jayden before he called out for my attention again.

Meeting his gaze I smiled. "I don't mind, it's pretty, actually. I've never done something like this before so it's, refreshing."

As out of my element as this was, I could appreciate Jayden for taking me out of my comfort zone, making me be adventurous, but still finding something peaceful to do, It made me wonder how much thought he actually put into the date after all the time I spent telling him about my horrific experiences in Guatemala and recovering from stimulus overload. Or maybe I was thinking too far into his planning, but either way, the gesture was sweet.

"You're a pro at this," I said in a giggle, remaining rigid in my posture but I was slowly loosening up. "How many other girls have you taken out here?" I asked teasingly, crossing my arms to keep my leather jacket close against me to stay warm while I admired all the Christmas lights in the distance that danced over the skyline Isabel taught me to appreciate,

 

[isax]

Jayden​

I was glad to hear that Amelia found the gondola ride to be refreshing. I had put a lot of thought into what I wanted to take her to do and I was more than thankful it was super cold today. I knew going on a gondola ride wasn't the smartest choice during the winter but it was the only one I thought would be the most relaxing and comforting after what Amelia went through. This date was supposed to be something to take her mind off the constant thinking I know it did when she was alone. I wanted her to feel at ease, not tense and drained because of her stimulus overload from Guatemala.

Listening to Amelia, I chuckled when I heard her call me a pro. This was my first time on a gondola, just like I was assuming it was her first, but I was enjoying it. It wasn't the first time I was on a boat though. I always found them to be quite relaxing.

"None actually. You're the first. All my exes would've never been up for this. They preferred dinners at five star restaurants." I said softly, noticing her hugging her jacket closer. Biting my lip, I took off my coat, wrapping it around her with a smile. I could do without it. Chicago was harsher than here.

All the relationships I had prior to meeting Amelia were trash, and Dawson could vouch for that. They were bossy, materialistic and ultimately stuck up. Dawson always said I could find better and I know I have with Amelia but she wasn't going to be as easy to catch as the others were. They just wanted me for my money but I knew Amelia didn't need me. That's what made this, wooing her and trying to get her to reciprocate the feelings, was worth it. She was a strong woman and I admired her.

"Are you getting too cold? We can head back to the dock and grab dinner."

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

"Thank you," I whispered when Jayden gave me his jacket, wrapping it around me. "Lucky for you, I hate five-star restaurants," I replied with a shrug, looking back on the skyline. "We don't have to go yet, we just got out here and I don't want to waste the effort you put into this. but I'm kinda disappointed that you were planning to take me out for dinner when you kept bragging about being such a skilled cook." Glaring at him playfully. I was also disappointed that I was without my camera to capture the place Jayen brought me to, it was a sight I never wanted to forget.

"Am I not worthy enough for your mom's cooking yet? Because I respect that, that's not something you share with just anyone. You have to earn that."

 

[isax]

Jayden​

“You’re worth my mom’s cooking and so much more, Amelia. The thought of cooking didn’t cross my mind but, if it’s really what you want, I’m up for it. I have a few things I can whip up for us back at home,” Smiling down at the woman, I admired her while she admired the view. I was more than glad she was enjoying this. I had a big fear she wouldn’t and I didn’t know what she liked or didn’t like. I could’ve asked Isabel but Dawson said she wasn’t in the mind frame for it. Apparently she had a really shitty day yesterday and I respected my best friend trying to do the best he could for his girlfriend.

If Isabel doesn’t marry that man it will be the biggest mistake of her life.

When Amelia caught me staring at her so intently, so curious to see her reactions, my cheek a flushed red and felt hot. I wasn’t expecting her to catch me but knowing she did threw me off from my serious gaze. All I could offer was a chuckle to break the silence and then smile.

“Sorry. Watching you enjoy the view was relaxing. I’m really glad you’re enjoying this.”

I didn’t know what else to say, so I continued to stare into those beautiful eyes while she stared into mine. I could feel the pull, the want of leaning in, but I was fighting it. I didn’t know how to act around Amelia and in the back of my mind, I knew this, furthering the relationship, wasn’t something she wanted but god, I wanted it so bad. Bad enough to lean forward, my hand moving the hair in her face, cupping her check. Soon our lips were brushing and I found myself closing the gap, kissing her so softly and tenderly.

You’re a fool. She’s going to want to leave.

Yeah, I was a fool. I knew she wasn’t going to like this and my body braced itself as I awaited for her to shove me back.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Grinning at Jayden's fast acceptance of my suggestion, I nodded in satisfaction. I caught him looking but I knew he didn't expect me to notice, but I was trained to notice. "You're looking at me again," whispered, slipping my hands into his jacket pockets. His fascination with me was foreign and almost made me uncomfortable because I didn't know how to respond without being awkward in return. Unlike Jayden, I didn't really have past relationships, not serious ones anyway. They were all a bifactor of boredom and feeling lonely and isolated, but given what I did for a living and my adamantly on being independent, they never last long enough to mean anything other than what they offered me physically. It was embarrassing, I hated even admitting it, even to myself, but it was the truth.

Catching my breath at his reply, I watched it take form into the frigid air.

"Me too," I whispered, breaking eye contact when I felt him getting closer.

Oh no.

Pulling his jacket tighter against me, I felt my body grow tense as he inched closer, I could have pushed him away before our lips had a chance to meet, but I resisted at the last second, feeling his gentle hand meet my stinging cheek, I blushed, looking up at him again is when our lips met. I hoped, before it happened, there would be nothing there for either of us, putting it behind us, but that wasn't the case for me. Fuck. The chemistry I felt with Jayden was strong and undeniable. So much so, that at the moment, instead of pulling him away, I relaxed, kissing him in return before I pulled away, staying silent, not sure what to say now that internally, I was in chaos.

 

[isax]

Jayden​

The chemistry between us couldn't be ignored no matter how hard I tried. I knew Amelia couldn't ignore it either. I had felt her tense up, which instantly made me tense up as well, fearing that she would stop me before our lips even met but once they did, my breath was taken away. When I felt Amelia relax and kiss me back, I was at a loss on what to do. I wasn't expecting her to react the way she did but I enjoyed everything about the kiss.

Whoa.

Pulling away from her, I kept my focus on her, my breathing heavier than before. I rested my forehead against hers, releasing a content sigh before I pulled back completely, lost on what to say next. As the silence lingered and we continued staring at each other, I eventually smiled, moving my hand from her stinging cheek.

"You're so beautiful, Amelia," I whispered softly, pulled out of my daze when I heard the man rowing out boat clear his throat. Heat rushed to my cheeks instantly, making me blush before I pulled back completely with a chuckle. "I'm sorry for bringing you here on such a cold night. You're freezing. I feel horrible. When you're ready, just let me know." I said gently, not moving as far away from her as I was before. I wanted to keep a close space, not wanting to move away from her.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

None of it seemed real. I was still living in the moment, and rationally, I didn't want to believe Jayden was that genuine, it made it painstakingly difficult to accept there would be nothing between us after tonight. Tonight was all I could give him, and now that I knew what I was pushing away for so long, out of pure obliviousness that he had an interest in me, I was kicking myself. If I gave in before Dawson swooped in and took Isabel, I wouldn't have to pull away from Jayden. It was dreadful to admit, even made my chest physically hurt. This was the feeling of disappointment.

"No, it's okay, I promise, I never outgrew my thin Floridian blood," I explained, hurrying to make an excuse to stay here in this scene, not wanting to let go of it despite the fact that I was uncomfortably freezing, but I rode it out until the rower brought us back to the dock. Exiting the boat, I thanked him kindly, trying not to giggle at the rolling of his eyes when he watched Jayden and I depart. Handing him his coat back, thanking him for the countless time for it, bringing my numb hands to my lips to keep them warm, my fingers turning blue.

Racing Jayden back to his car, I wasn't surprised when he beat me, this cold was nothing to him and he chased people for a living. By the time I reached my door, he was holding it open for me and the heat was already blasting.

"Smooth," I teased in a playful glare, kissing his cheek with my chapped lips in thanks, to arouse him for my own amusement.

 

[isax]

Jayden​

To say the gondola trip through Las Colinas wasn't amazing would be a lie. It was without a doubt going to be a date I remembered most for the rest of my life and no other date plan or woman would top it. Amelia was special and someone I didn't want to let go, especially after the kiss we shared that solidified the chemistry lingering between us but I knew she was going to pull away after tonight. I knew once I dropped her off back at her apartment, I was never going to get a second chance at wooing her and it made my chest hurt knowing this was all I could get. I wanted more. I didn't want her falling for anyone else. That was selfish of me but I didn't really care. She stole my heart and no one else was ever going to have it.

She's it.

Admitting that is scary. I never thought after all the previous relationships that didn't work out I would actually find someone who made my heart swell and make me excited to be with them every chance I got. I never thought I would actually find what Dawson found in Isabel. It was crazy thinking I teased him about her when they first started but now, now I was the one falling head over heels for a woman and I had no regrets. The only thing I regretted was that I wished this, the kiss, the date, the chemistry, would've happened sooner because then maybe I would've been given the chance.

I knew after tonight, I couldn't go back home and tell Isabel. I knew Dawson was going to be the only one I could tell and even then he may have something smart to say considering I always did when he and Isabel were starting out. I deserve what Dawson might throw at me but we both were going to have to keep this a secret. If Isabel found out about any of this, she would spiral yet again for the countless time.

Pushing all the negative thoughts aside, I tried to stay focused on the now, what Amelia was actually giving me. I came to the conclusion that no matter how much she thought this was the end, I wasn't going to let it be. I was going to persistent and give it my all to wow the journalist.

When we returned to land, I was quick to race her back to my car, trying not to laugh like a child. When I beat her to it, I made sure I remote started the car so it could warm up, thankful that it did by the time she got in while I held the door open for her. Hearing her say by doing so was smooth, I couldn't help but plaster that stupid grin on my face.

"Thank you. I try," I said smoothly before I closed her door and ran over to my side, getting in and releasing a content sigh. I didn't want to take her to the restaurant I had originally planned now. I wanted to cook for her, just like she asked, even more so because this might be our last date.

When we arrived to my apartment, I opened the door, thankful that I remembered to clean up the place earlier this morning when I had the chance. Letting her walk in first, I shut the door behind her, locking it before I made my way to the kitchen, examining the fridge to figure out what I could make. When I finally figured it out, I started taking out what I needed.

"Welcome to my apartment. You can make yourself comfortable in the living room or if you really want to see all the action happen, I'll be in the kitchen making our dinner. How does chicken bel aire sound?" I asked her curiously. It was my dad's favorite thing to eat and my mom always made it for us at least once every week to make my dad happy after a long day at work.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Taking off my jacket, I followed Jayden to the kitchen slowly, taking everything in. From what I gathered from his personality he seemed like a pretty classy guy, but his apartment, it was pretty plain. I contributed that to his working though, he must have only come here to sleep and eat really, so what was the point of decorating it?

"It's nice, did you clean it just for me?" I teased sitting at the kitchen table while Jayden formulated a new plot after I put him on his toes. thinking about it, I felt bad. I hoped me requesting to make dinner rather than go out for it didn't give off the wrong impression, not that it mattered I guess, I already decided nothing would come out of tonight. Biting my lip to keep my thoughts to myself.

Nodding at his suggestion, I smiled, "Let's see what you got," I challenged.

At first, I tried to just sit here and spectate, but as always, just sitting there and not helping made me feel awkward so I was quick to offer my assistance. Taking off my bracelet and setting it on the counter next to the sink, I washed my hands before turning back to Jayden, catching a glimpse of his blue eyes that caught my attention more often than they should.

"How can I help?"

 

[isax]

The Following Week:
Dallas
Isabel​

The good days were pretty frequent now. Pulling myself out of the negative thoughts was slowly becoming easier to do and I was thankful for that. Being bummed out all the time, hugging a bottle and crying myself to sleep, was and always be draining but it was something I needed to go through before I could get to the good times that I hoped were lying ahead. Dawson noticed the change in attitude off the bat and I could tell he was relieved. I put him through so much for the past six months I felt horrible and if I needed to pull myself out of my funk for anyone, it would be for him, my pilot. I can honestly say I love him with all my heart because I could never see another man be so willing to care for me while I broke down.

Today Dawson and I decided to head into Dallas and do dinner at Jayden's house. When he invited us over, I was intrigued. I wasn't aware that Jayden knew how to cook let alone loved to. I would've asked him to help me in the kitchen a lot sooner if I did. None the less, I was looking forward to seeing what he was going to whip up.

When we walked into the officer apartment, my nose was instantly met with several different smells of spices in the air. Humming contently, I giggled excitedly, knowing instantly what Jayden was making. Hugging him tightly when he greeted us, I made my way to the kitchen, putting the bottle of wine I brought to cool while we waited for everything to finish. When I saw the chicken in the oven, I knew Jayden was making my favorite dish that he enjoyed. Cream of mushroom chicken.

"I see you learned a thing or two about how to cook this, Acciolli," I said with a laugh, opening the oven to check on the chicken before I looked back at the stove and noticed he hadn't started on the sides. I knew I was here because he was cooking for the three of us but I couldn't help the cooking bone in my body. "Do you mind if I start the sides? What were you planning?" I asked him.

"The usual. White rice and your choice of what vegetable. I even bought a salad," I heard him reply to which I laughed while shaking my head.

"I'm impressed. You've been rather chipper this week. Did ya meet someone?" I asked, turning towards the sink so I could wash my hands before I touched any food. I wish I hadn't because the minute I did is when I answered my question for myself.

The wind was knocked out of me as if someone actually punched me in the stomach. I was in such a state of shock that I gasped, jumping back slightly before calming my nerves as best as I could. Reaching out, I ignored Jayden and Dawson when they asked me what was wrong. I was in a trance. I was fixated on the one thing I thought I would never see again. The bracelet. Amelia's bracelet. The one I bought her back in high school, a simple anchor charm with rope to tie it. I tried telling myself it was a mistake but even I knew it wasn't. Amelia was here. She was the one who put Jayden in such a chipper mood.

That sly s.o.b. I should've known.

Turning around, I knew my facial expression would give away what I was feeling. I was hurt, but I was resorting to mask it with anger. Right now, calming myself down, trying to tell myself anger is a second hand emotion wasn't going to work. Right now I needed to scream and I could bet Jayden wasn't ready for it.

"Are you fucking serious, Jayden?" I asked, scoffing before I shook my head, pinching the bridge of my nose. When he asked what was wrong, that's when I let it all out.

"This. This is what's wrong," I said, holding out the anchor bracelet. "Amelia's bracelet. I should've known she was the reason you've been so happy lately. I should've known you were going to find a way to see her again after you ran into her at the cafe. Oh my god, I can't believe you! What were you trying to accomplish? A relationship with her? Are you an idiot? In what world would any of that be okay?" I was livid, beyond livid, but the man I thought that would be able to calm me down just made it worse. When Dawson tried to tell me I needed to calm down, I shook my head furiously, gripping the bracelet tighter in an attempt to stop the tears building.

"Don't tell me that I need to calm down, Dawson. You know this isn't okay! You know Amelia is just going to pull back from Jayden! Not even that, you," I looked at Jayden again, "you knew this wouldn't end well but yet you did it anyways. Honestly what the hell were thinking?"

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

"He wasn't thinking and neither was I," I replied, breaking the silence that filled the room as I walked into the apartment and into the kitchen. Jayden told me when I arrived the door would be open, and through the door, I heard Isabel's infuriated screams. I wanted to believe at first, that I was hallucinating hearing her, but I knew after standing outside the door, listening closer, Isabel was inside and she was pissed, and for a moment, so was I, when I realized Jayden inviting me back over for dinner again was a ploy. For a split second it made me wonder if the night we shared together last week was all a part of this too, but remembering what occurred between us, recalling the lustful gaze in his eyes, I had to believe that was real. As I heard Isabel's anger escalate and the men struggle to keep her at bay, I took a deep breath and walked inside quietly before I made myself known, coming face to face with all three of them. This was the first time I was in the same room with the Dawson Convington, but I didn't pay him much mind for now, as I assumed, contrary to what I told Jayden when he asked me to fix Isabel the first time, I would be leaving. I was certain there was no way in hell Isabel would want me anywhere near her or her circle when she pieced together it was me who was coming between her and Jayden after everything I put her through when she fell for Dawson. Standing before her now, I felt nothing less of a hypocrite and I deserved that, but it didn't make facing her like this any easier.

"I'm sorry, Isabel, if I could take back what happened six months ago, I would, but I can't and I get why you're angry, you have every right to be, but you can't just blame Jayden when you know, logically I played a hand in this too. I'm just as an aware of what is happening between us," Biting my lip, I looked uncomfortably between both her and Jayden, not wanting to hurt either one of them, but there was no way out without sacrificing one of them to the truth.

"I'm assuming Jayden tricked me to come over here because he knew you'd be here and he also knew, if I knew, I wouldn't come. But since it's too late to walk away without apologizing now, I guess, all I can say is, I'm sorry, for hurting you, again; for going behind your back and being intimate with someone you consider a friend, now that I am not. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. But Isabel, you have to let this go, you deserve so much better than what I was to you, especially now. What I've heard about you in the past six months isn't healthy, they have a right to be concerned for you, and you shouldn't act like it's nothing when it consumes you as much as it has been. Let me go, please," I whispered, failing to hold back my tears before I took Isabel into a hug for the first time since she left on her year-long adventure with Dawson.

 

[isax]

Isabel​

When I heard her voice, I swear my entire body went still, my ears buzzing as I tried to comprehend the fact that Amelia was here, in the apartment, only a few feet away from me. I never thought I would see her again. Never once thought I would hold another conversation with her at that. Now that she was here, I didn't know what to do, because where the boys failed to calm me down, she did just that, like always, and now, now the want to cry was more powerful than before but for a different reason. Now I wanted to cry because Amelia was actually in my presence after six months without her in my life, and she was standing there, telling me to drop her completely and that was something I refused to do. I wasn't ready. I didn't want to let go. That's why I've been so miserable the past months. Letting go meant she would be gone from my life forever.

I didn't say a word. I didn't know what to say after hearing Amelia give her spill. I didn't want to believe any of it. I didn't want to believe that she still wholeheartedly thought I wanted nothing to do with her. That's what hurt the most but when she hugged me, I didn't hug her back. I knew if I did, I would break and there were too many people in the room for my strong ass to break. I couldn't fight the urge, however. It had been six months and if I needed anyone right now, despite everything, it was Amelia.

Hugging her back tightly, I buried my face into her shoulder, shielding myself from the men watching as the tears began falling. I couldn't hold them back anymore. The urge was too strong and when she hugged me back just as tight, I continued to cry before I pulled away and took a deep breath, handing Amelia the bracelet back with a weak smile. I knew what she was doing. She was going to pull away from Jayden and I didn't want that. If he made her happy, I didn't want to be the reason she lost that. The same for Jayden.

"Amelia, I don't care about what happened six months ago anymore. What I care about is that you still think I don't want you in my life. That hurts. I know I fucked up, you did nothing, but I get you think this friendship is over. Hell, I know it's been. I just wasn't ready to let it go because once I did, it would make it all too real. I was holding myself back from fully grieving because I wasn't ready for that final stage, I'm still not, so please. Don't leave me. Not again. I'm sorry for everything." I knew nothing I said would fix what I already lost. "If we can't be what we once were, at least pursuit what you and Jayden have. I see it in both of you. Y'all both genuinely care for each other and I refuse to be the reason y'all don't build on that. You don't have to chose between the both of us because I'm choosing for you. I'll leave so you can have Jayden. It's okay. I want nothing more than the both of y'all to be happy."

Smiling I pulled away completely from her, walking to the living room where I grabbed my purse, not looking at Jayden nor Dawson as I convinced myself it was time to leave. I couldn't stay here. The air was too suffocating but I knew once Dawson and I made it back to Fort Worth, that was a whole other battle I was going to have to deal with.

"Isabel wait." I heard Jayden say. Looking back at him I was puzzled on what he would have to say.

Jayden​

I had enough of both Isabel and Amelia ignoring their true feelings on what happened six months ago as they continued to push each other away. I had enough and I was going to end this right now. They were going to make up. They didn't have a choice because I was sick and tired of hearing so many excuses from the both of them but neither one wanting to confront each other.

When Isabel stopped from attempting to leave the apartment, I motioned my hand for her to sit on the couch. Once she obliged, I told Amelia to do the same, making them sit right next to each other while Dawson stood next to me. I know he knew what I was going to say and he knew better than I did how Isabel was going to react but I was ready to take it. The both of them needed to stop making themselves miserable.

"Both of you need to quit your shit and fix what you both had. You're both miserable. I don't want to hear from any of you telling me you're fine and happy because you're not. You both reacted so fucking irrationally and now your so unhappy with life. No matter what Dawson and I do for the both of you, you'll never be fully happy, and that's because you're both missing your other half, your person before Dawson and I were even in the picture. Y'all both made mistakes. Isabel, you left Dallas, thinking it was for the best, moved to Fort Worth and opened up stupid ass studio in an attempt to keep using a camera but for all the wrong reasons. You held yourself back from happiness because you feel like you don't deserve it. Did you fuck up? Yes. You didn't tell Amelia about anything that happened the entire year you were away with Dawson but Amelia, when she tried telling you she did it with good intentions, you blew up and pushed her away. That's where you acting irrationally happened. You literally kept a secret yourself. You didn't tell Isabel you were going to Guatemala. You left and made yourself miserable. You know damn well you would've stayed if you hadn't pushed Isabel away and right now, you wouldn't be in the headspace you're currently in while trying to recover from all of it."

When I felt Dawson place his hand on my shoulder, I knew he was trying to tell me to stop but I couldn't. They needed to hear it.

"Jayden, that's enough." I heard him say but I just shook my head.

"No, it's not. They need to hear it Dawson. They're both so unhappy and there's no way to fix that unless they make up and accept that they're still meant to be friends. They just hit a rough patch. They both made mistakes and that's not what they're taking into consideration." Looking back to the women, I noticed Amelia was looking me head on, taking everything I was saying into consideration whereas Isabel crossed her arms and looked away, her usual attempt at closing herself off from a situation.

"You don't get to decide if Amelia and I pursue our feelings any further, Isabel. And Amelia, you don't get to just push me away because Isabel is my friend. Both of y'all don't get to control everything so get a grip. Fix your shit. If you don't then I refuse to seek out anything more between us Amelia, because if we did it would make you unhappy and Isabel as well. I refuse to be the reason y'all choose to stay in the miserable shit holes you put yourselves in."

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

I knew Isabel would attempt to run, it’s what she did when things became too much for her. My presence? It was more than enough to send her running, over the course of our friendship, I was the one who forced her to face her conflicts head-on. It was the hardest thing for me to do as her best friend, and it wasn’t any easier to take her into my embrace in every aftermath, knowing she would take every battle to heart. But this time, I couldn’t be the one to force her to face the conflict, because the conflict was me.

Feeling defeated, I released her from my grip, taking a sharp breath when she turned her back to face me. Sharing an apologetic look with Dawson, I saw in his eyes what I used to hold for everyone who hurt Isabel. Fury. I knew he wouldn’t unleash it because he was a trained Naval man standing in his best friend’s apartment, not wanting to hurt Isabel, and all of those conditions would go to shit if Dawson lost it.

Standing there, consumed in my own fear, I came back to reality when Jayden spoke. Just as fast as I witnessed Dawson keep his emotions at bay, I was victim to Jayden belting commands in the way he was trained. Nodding, I sat, too afraid of what would happen if I attempted to disobey. While he spoke, I kept my gaze on my lap, feeling the sweat between my legs in discomfort.

For Dawson, it was plausible to protest Jayden admitting the truth, he was concerned for Isabel and she was fragile right now. For me, I needed to hear my wrongs to own up to them. All too often, everyone was too afraid to be direct with me. Now that Jayden proved he could be, I had a new respect for the man who was so persistent to get my attention.

Letting Jayden finish his thought, I looked straight into his eyes and nodded. He was entitled to his own emotions over this situation now, considering how the night between us ended.

“I’m not asking you to peruse anything, Jayden,” I replied gently, “But you can’t force Isabel to do anything and if you ever come at her like this again, you can deal with me, and if you think Dawson is terrifying, you haven’t seen anything. Apologize. Now.”

After an awkward silence that eventually led to an apology from Jayden, I nodded in satisfaction.

“Good.” Taking Isabel’s hand, lifting her from the couch, requesting the bottle of wine she brought before I led her to Jayden’s bedroom and closed the door. She knew what this was. We weren’t coming out of this room until we resolved what she wanted to avoid.

“Where do want to start?”

 

[isax]

Isabel​

Hearing Amelia get on Jayden for getting on me made my head perk up in curiosity as I looked over towards them. I wasn't expecting Amelia to stick up for me. I wasn't expecting her to say anything, really. In this situation, I had no idea what to do because Amelia was always my go to person. Every time something similar to this happened, I went to her for advice. Sure she didn't give as much as I always wanted, but I did love hearing her opinions. Right now, with the tension between us, I couldn't go to her because the problem was her. The problem was us, mainly me for not mentioning a damn thing.

At first, I didn't want to follow Amelia to the room, and I knew Dawson picked up on it considering he was quick to move closer after I stood up with her while Jayden went to grab the bottle of wine. Biting my lip, I released it with a smile, nodding my head so that my pilot knew I was okay. I needed this. If Amelia and I were going to fix anything, we needed to talk this out and Jayden gave us that opportunity.

Once we were in the room, away from the men, I released a heavy sigh, sitting down on the bed before I laid back on it and stared at the ceiling, attempting to process all the thoughts that were now running through my head. There was a lot in there right now. Mainly thoughts about me being such an idiot and losing Amelia so easily. That wasn't like me. I usually fought for her but the minute she said she couldn't be my anchor, despite knowing everything I went through, I was crushed.

I started there.

"You didn't have to just leave after I told you everything you wanted to know. You knew why I kept everything from you. You not thinking it was a valid enough reason is fine, but just leaving, not offering any form of comfort, that hurt, but I tried not to be mad at you. I know how you think. I know you needed to remove yourself so I let you," Releasing another sigh, I sat up, motioning for her to hand me the bottle. I needed a swig of the wine. "Finding out from other journalists, more importantly my own co-workers, that you were leaving to Guatemala sucked. The hell was I supposed to do when they told me about it? I literally just stood there, shook as hell before I left the newsroom for the day. They apologized for it later but they honestly didn't need to."

I knew by the end of all my venting, I was going to be so completely vulnerable, so fragile, that I would just end up crying. I knew Amelia wouldn't break me then but I feared the outcome of everything that would happen from this. Jayden either made everything better, or just wrecked my life even more.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Taking everything Isabel threw at me, I took the seat he offered. For the first time in six months, I was going to be completely honest with her.

"I put everything that happened behind me, there are things happening in the world far more pressing and worthy of grief, so witnessing that, I let go of my hurt pretty fast." Taking a deep breath, I continued.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but in the moment, I did feel like I needed to leave you to console yourself. There wasn't a time before then that I left you on your own to work through your thoughts. Never once did I not put your well being over how you made me feel. But that one time, I wanted you to know what it felt like to go without me. Because I had to go without you for a year. You had to have known I knew what you were up to, Isabel. It was obvious to me, and only me, why you went in the first place. And you saying that I didn't tell you about Guatemala, to you is valid, but to me, it's not. I didn't know I was going until I walked out. It was offered to me, but I wasn't going to take it. I wasn't keeping anything from you, I told you when I came for my one visit it was a possibility. So I'm sorry for not staying to comfort you, but you weren't there when I needed you to comfort me either."

Taking the bottle, it was my turn for a sip. Swallowing, I handed it back to her, resisting the urge to chug it.

"Your turn."

 

[isax]

Isabel​

Hearing Amelia give me her side of what happened made my heart hurt. When everything happened, I was too consumed in my own guilt and hurt to even consider hers. I was blinded by what I wanted to see and I couldn't hold back the giant sigh that escaped from me upon this realization. For once in my life, I knew what the others who did me wrong felt like. I was disgusted. I felt ugly. Shivering, I quickly took the bottle from her, taking another big sip, a longer one than before, setting it down before I released another sigh.

"What more is there to say? I've played pity party of one for what? About seven months now? I moved to Fort Worth, Dawson helped me build a stupid ass studio, I left journalism, I literally did everything I could to make sure I wasn't happy and boy did it work. I don't think I can tell ya the last time I was truly happy was." Shrugging, I laid back down. "See, while you were out in Guatemala, coming face-to-face with situations that actually called for grief, and forgetting about the past, I let myself simmer in it. I dropped everything that made me smile. Maybe I did it because I knew I didn't deserve to be happy. I still don't think I do. Kinda feel like a shitty girlfriend, honestly. Dawson's put up with a lot of my bullshit. Honestly don't know why he's still around. Any sane man would've left the first time I caved and was completely vulnerable in front of him."

Sighing, I looked over at Amelia with a concerned gaze. Jayden mentioned she was having trouble processing everything she experienced in Guatemala. I understood why. I was the only one that did and I wasn't there for her when she got back.

How shitty of you, Isabel.

"So, Guatemala, I kept tabs on you while you were there. How's the recovery going from it?"

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Shrugging my shoulders, I belted an ugly laugh at her question. I didn't think there was much of a recovery at all. What I saw scarred me from the rest of my life and there was no "going back to normal" after that.

"You mean dealing with PTSD? It's the worst, but I try not to think about it because it just heightens my anxiety. I almost wish I never went, but those people, who live like that every day with no way to escape when it becomes too much, they need someone to advocate for them, that's all I can say about it. It was difficult when I got back to be completely alone at first, but Jayden he's annoyingly persistent. He's a good listener. I just finished the last assignment from over there and I almost feel guilty for being relieved, but I could live the rest of my life without looking at those photos and video ever again."

Letting the silence linger, I took another hit from the bottle before throwing myself in Jayden's side of the bed staring at the ceiling before I answered Isabel's curiosities without her asking.

"Dawson's still with you, because he loves you, Isabel. When you're at your worst, that's when you should pay attention to people's actions the most. The people who love you through your toughest parts of life are the ones you need to keep. Not the ones who love you at your best and run away when things get scary. That's when you need to feel loved the most. Dawson's not insane for staying with you through the pain. He's genuine and one day, when you're not feeling like shit and you're at a high, when everyone congratulates and encourages you, you'll look at him and remember he was there when all those other people weren't, that he loved you when you couldn't love yourself and you'll realize you deserve him. You always have. No one deserves to go through their lowest points alone." Looking over at her, I waited for her to look at me to know if what I said resonated with her in any way like I hoped it did, even if we left this room still not where we were, I wanted her to know Dawson, he loved her the way she deserved to be loved and she shouldn't feel an ounce of guilt for loving him.

 

[isax]

Isabel​

I knew Amelia was right about Dawson. I knew Dawson was with me because he loved me and because he wanted to help me through everything, bad times included. For me, I didn't know what that was like from a boyfriend. All the ones before him were quick to run away at any sign of me being vulnerable, or even worse, text Amelia and ask her to fix me for them. It pissed me off how everyone viewed Amelia as my "fixer" but Dawson wholeheartedly saw her as what she is to me. My anchor. My best friend.

Despite his current fury towards her, I knew it stemmed from the fact that I was hurt, but I knew if the two were to talk and get to know each other, Dawson would love Amelia. They deserved that chance. I wanted them to try and see if they could be friends, even more so if Amelia and I walked out of this room as best friends. I wanted to do that. I wanted Amelia back in my life.

Looking back at her, I released a soft sigh before smiling at her and nodding in acknowledgment. She needed to know that I understood what she said and that it was right. I took everything she said since being in this room wholeheartedly.

"Yeah, you're right. Dawson's an incredible man, Lexus but I feel like you already knew that," Smiling again, I thought about Jayden and how much he seemed to care for my anchor. "But enough about Dawson. You and Jayden seem to have hit it off pretty well. I'm kind of excited for y'all. Spill the beans. What happened? I never thought you'd say yes to going on a date with him."

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

"I didn't agree to anything, Lindsey cornered me and I relented." Shrugging my shoulders. "I didn't expect anything to come of it, I was just agreeing to it to get me out of his system. I didn't want to put him in an awkward position considering who his friends are and I didn't want to be a hypocrite towards you, even if we weren't talking, I still care about your feelings. I was content with the one night and done, but as I said, he is ridiculously persistent and won't leave me alone," I explained in a laugh. "In a good way, I guess."

I had to give it to Jayden he knew how to get what he wanted from a woman without coming off as annoying which made it more difficult to resist him. I found myself enjoying his spontaneous visits and his sense of humor pulled me out of my thoughts in the way everyone else failed to do.

"He's a good guy, I just don't want to break him, like I have a tendency to do when I decide I'm not ready to commit. I probably should have kept the boundary between us. huh. God, I'm awful."

 

[isax]

Isabel​

I found it amusing to listen to Amelia tell me about her and Jayden, how Lindsey cornered her and Amelia relented. I could easily picture my best friend saying yes to the first date in an attempt to please everyone and get it over with. Thinking about it made me laugh and I couldn't help but smile as she told me the rest. I knew Jayden was persistent but in a good way. I also knew he wasn't going to give up when he wanted so desperately to be a part of Amelia's life. If I trusted anyone to be what Dawson was for me for Amelia, I trusted Jayden. Laughing softly, I nodded as I continued to look at Amelia.

"He is a little persistent huh? I could tell just by meeting him for the first time. He's also a very emotional man but all his training on the force has helped him conceal it rather well. He's a Cancer. Did ya know that? Overemotional ass," Laughing at my own statement, I released a content sigh. "You're not awful Amelia. There's some form of electricity between y'all right?" When Amelia didn't answer, that's all I needed to know. "Of course there is. I can see it. Don't let him go. He's honestly the only man I trust enough with your heart. I also trust him with taking my place if we don't walk as anchors from this. If you break him, you'll be hearing from me. Just give him a chance. He'll keep proving to you he's worth having in your life."