Realistic or Modern Anchored by Love (Draft Four... lol)

[isax]

Isabel​

I was comfortable with just sitting here, Dawson next to me, our hands holding each others while I found something for us to watch. I had gotten used to the days I spent here, confined in the hotel room with the love of my life. It became routine and I didn't really give much thought to the idea of getting caught. I thought Dawson and I were doing well, that no one was catching on, and I especially thought that because Dawson never mentioned it. Maybe he just never told me about it and maybe that was for the best. If he told me about the suspicions, I wouldn't know what to do, because my career was still very much on the line.

Losing myself in my thoughts, I looked over towards the cowboy when he asked me if I wanted to dance. He may not known how to dance, but I loved it, every form of dance possible. Taking his hand after he pushed the table against the door, I stood from the couch, letting him pull me close as "Fly Me To The Moon" played from the tv into the background.

As I stayed with my arms around his neck, swaying back and forth, picking up on the fact that he was focusing too hard on his steps in an instant. He was precious but I went with it, whispering the lyrics to the song before he caught me, laughing softly when he asked me if I knew the song.

"Yes, I do know the song. I love it." I said softly, looking at him once again before I started giggling again. "You're really tense. I can tell from your steps that you're trying too hard. Let me take the lead? I promise no one will found out about it." Winking, I didn't stop smiling as I explained the steps to him, moving back and forth slowly at first so he could get the hang of it. This was a fun activity to do in the confinements of the room and it was a sappy but cute gesture.

As we continued to sway, I stopped when the song ended, nodding contently. "That was good. We'll have to keep practicing. Are ya hungry? I bought some food to cook. It's the best thing I could think of instead of room service plus it's homemade Mexican food. The most authentic kind."

 

[Lexus]

Dawson​

"You're just going to call me out like that, ouch, that hurts," I replied as we continued to sway letting her take the lead. "Is this how our relationship is going to go from now on?" Whenever I got nervous I had a tendency to keep talking to distract myself. However, when she took the lead I did manage to ease up before I took the risk of twirling her delicately across the room for our grand finale. I knew then that I wanted to get better at this if it meant something to her.

When the song ended on its last note, I let go of the breath I was holding.

"I can't say that I've ever had authentic Mexican food, or Mexican food at all honestly," I confessed, embarrassed, knowing this truth would be shameful to her own Mexican culture.

I guess we're even since she never stepped foot in the yards before we met. This relationship is going to be interesting.

"So what are you going to make for us, Whiskey?"

Walking behind her I wrapped my arms around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder. If I could stay in this moment, I would have, but all good things are notorious for coming to an end eventually, especially when you keep them secret.

 

[isax]

End of Show Season:
Mid-November

Dallas, Texas
Isabel​

The entire show season spent with Dawson finally came to an end. I wished it hadn't but all good things were meant to come to an end. All the shots and stories I was able to collect over the years were going to be a great story to tell. It filled me with a sense of pride knowing my now Blue Angel family trusted me to tell the world who they are. The year was something I would never forget. I couldn't wait to start culling through the photos, selecting the best ones and putting the entire vision I had in my head together. That was my favorite thing to do after I was content with my pictures.

Being back home away from Dawson has made everything we did throughout the year, all the intimate moments and 'I love you's', mean so much more. After a year, I feel like I still don't know Dawson in his entirety, and as much as I wanted to keep doing what we had been, keeping this secret from Amelia was killing and eventually, it just came out.

It happened earlier today when Amelia came over. We were eating a home cooked meal for lunch since it had been a week since I'd been back. As we sat in the living room, she asked how everything went and naturally I told her. It wasn't intentional, it just slipped. When she asked what I did during my free weekends I casually said they were spent with Dawson. Saying that was a mistake.

I know Amelia still doesn't like the cowboy for what happened the first time he came into my life. I can't blame her for disliking the man I loved. I would be in the same position if the roles were reversed. I didn't know how anything was going to turn out after this. I didn't know if Dawson and I were actually going to be able to make it now that we were back in reality, out of our lovely fantasy we put ourselves in. The truth was, Amelia was right in her reaction, and I knew deep down whatever Dawson and I established could crumble and fall again. That alone was enough to scare me.

"Amelia stop. Talk to me! I'm sorry okay? It just happened and he's actually a really amazing guy once you get to know him."

I knew nothing I said would get Amelia to open up right now. She was livid and we were both notorious for not speaking to the other when we were like this.

"I didn't mean to keep it a secret from you! I wanted to tell you the entire time it was going on!"

Jayden​

"Are you kidding me, Covington?! Why on earth would you do that! Let alone keep it a secret for this long!" I exclaimed, looking at my best friend with an angered expression. When I agreed to meet him for drinks at our usual bar, I wasn't expecting him to tell me he dropped his walls for Isabel. I didn't think he would keep something so vital, something so risky, a secret from me for an entire year.

"I honestly don't know what you thought would come out of this, Dawson. You and I both know whatever fantasy you and Isabel had, whatever time y'all spent, is going to be nonexistent now that you're back home and in reality. Was the intent always to let it fall out after what happened? Why are you doing this to yourself? You were devastated the last time she left your life. You even got back with Josie just for the comfort. Are you trying to go through all of that again? Is Isabel really worth putting yourself through that?"

If we were being honest, I didn't know much about Isabel as a person. I didn't know what her intentions were as far as being with Dawson. He said she was different but I didn't know how much to believe. When my best friend falls in love, he falls in love hard, and right now proves that. I didn't think Dawson Covington would have it in him to start something with a woman he couldn't have the moment they were back in Dallas. Let's not forget the fact that his parents would be cautious at first with her. I never liked the whole 'finding Dawson the right girl' thing but apparently the Covington's are picky.

Sighing, I took a big swig of my beer, shaking my head as I set it back down on the table.

"Honestly man. What were you thinking?"

​

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

From the beginning I knew Isabel was going to take the assignment when Dawson offered it to her. The minute she texted me about it I knew her mind was already made up and she was just trying to seek my approval, but she never got it. It was an impressive insight, the story, if done correctly, would be an eye catching piece for the public. But Isabel was going it for the wrong reasons, and even though I agreed to stand behind her decision to spend a year with the man I knew she had feelings for in hopes to win him over by telling his story, that didn't mean I had to agree with it.

I tried to iet it slide the best I could, after all, Isabel was a grown woman, but there was still my reputation on the line as well. This was a reality that was too close for comfort considering I was climbing up the ranks at the AP. I hoped Isabel would respect my career if things had the opportunity to go south between Dawson, but I should have known when she didn't rush home any chance she got to catch up, something was up. Being a journalist, the skepticism crossed my mind, but being her closest confidant meant I pushed it the gut feeling out of sight because I wanted to believe her.

When she arrived home in early November, there was a tension in the air because she hadn't spoken to me in quite awhile and I could tell when I walked into the apartment her body language gave away my suspicions were true, she was hiding what I hoped she wasn't, it was only a matter of prying to get her to confess. I needed to hear it from her mouth to truly consider her relationship with Dawson to be the truth, even after the warning I gave her, and she especially wouldn't keep it from me this long.

She's your best friend, Amelia. You have to trust she means enough to you that this is just part of your anxious tendencies. How could you even think this is a possibility?

Setting my purse on the couch, I walked over to the kitchen after I slide off my flats and fixed the watch that was falling off my wrist as a way to avoid the inevitable. I hadn't seen her in almost four months and the last time I flew out to see her in Pensacola, I had to leave earlier than anticipated to get back to the office to manage am unexpected budget cut, ultimately leading to more lay offs, the worst part of my job.

"So how was the trip? Was it worth spending a year surrounded by nothing but a bunch of cocky men?" When expressing her satisfaction with how well the project turned out in the end, I couldn't hold back anymore, the slight tension I was picking up on was heavy on my chest and I felt like I was suffocating, I just needed to get this over with and face whatever was waiting for me.


"Ahhh, that's good, so what did you do during all those free weekends? Did you enjoy the sightseeing?" I asked, unable to even look at her, knocking my knuckles on the counter top when I heard her drop the knife and take a deep breath; I still didn't have to look at her to know I caught her, the guilt overwhelming her before she let go.

It's true, she was with him this whole time and she didn't tell me. Because why? Who would I tell? This doesn't make sense. Did he get that much into her head that she thinks there needs to be a boundary between us now? I need to go. Escape.

Turning away from her, I bit my lip as hard as I could, until I tasted the metallic aftertaste of blood. Slipping my shoes back on and grabbing my purse, I attempted to walk out without looking at her, I couldn't but her calling out to me helplessly.

It's too late for that, Bel.

Sorry wasn't going to fix this and there was no reason for her to keep it from me, as if I didn't expect it to happen.

Sighing, I wiped the tears that began to fall with the back of my hand, my back still facing her as I spoke.

"You knew what you were doing the whole time, Isabel."

Having nothing else to say, I walked out of her apartment, closing the door behind me.

 

[isax]

Isabel​

In all honesty, I can't tell you what I was thinking when I kept everything regarding Dawson and I a secret from Amelia. I had never done something like that before. I never intended to do what I did but I couldn't take anything back now. She was right, I did know what I was doing the whole time. Even though I knew, I didn't say a word and now Amelia was angry with me. She had every right to be, I couldn't say she shouldn't be. The minute she left the house, I wasn't sure what would come of this. I didn't even want to think about Dawson. I let him come between Amelia and I— something that should have never happened.

Two weeks had passed since then. I wasn't expecting to not hear from Amelia for so long but I brought this upon myself. After she left my apartment, I hadn't heard from her and I didn't even attempt to reach out because I knew nothing would work. I didn't hear much from Dawson either. I should have known the minute we were back in reality he and I wouldn't get much time together. I don't know why I got my hopes up, thinking what he and I had could work. At this point, after losing Amelia, I didn't really care. All I did since then was plaster this fake smile on my face, pushing through the Blue Angel story because despite all my stupid mistakes, I knew the crew deserved that much.

Walking into the DMN this morning wasn't the same. I didn't get the butterflies in my stomach. I didn't get that excited feeling— that adrenaline rush. I felt nothing and that scared me because I hadn't been in this type of mind space in so long. I didn't want to be back in it. I just kind of let it happen. I let myself spiral.

Sitting at my desk, I stared at my laptop screen, culling through the photos to make sure every one was perfect. After that, I read over my story before sending everything together to my editor. I knew she was dying for it. It was the only thing she talked about every since I left for the season.

Hearing my phone vibrate against the table, the singular text notification flashing on the right top corner of my screen, I had the smallest hope it was Amelia. When I saw Dawson's name instead, I was instantly displeased. He asked if I wanted to grab dinner tonight. Truth be told, I didn't want to do anything other than sleep away the pain I was feeling.

"I'm not feeling good today. Maybe tomorrow or Friday?"

After subtly rejecting the invitation, I packed up my things, leaving for the newsroom for the day. The only thing I felt today while being there was disgust. I was disgusted with who I let myself become, who I saw in the mirror.

Welcome back, Isabel.

Jayden​

Today was one of those rare days when I got the day off and was able to enjoy myself. I tried to enjoy myself as best as I could. I never did like getting into a disagreement with Dawson but this one was valid. I honestly believe he didn't think anything he did through while with Isabel. He was upset with me for being upset. I was upset with him for not telling me sooner, for not taking into consideration the inevitable that was happening now that they were back in reality. He hurt himself again and I didn't know hoe to console him.

In an attempt to not think about it on my only day off, I decided to stay a little longer at the cafe, sitting at the table I usually wait at for my order when I'm in a rush. Right now, I wanted to take everything in. My environment, the people, the smell of strong coffee. I wanted to unwind and relax and since I didn't have much that needed to be done, this was the only thing I could think of doing other than keeping myself in my apartment.

As I sat at the table, I had my laptop out, scrolling aimlessly through Facebook, seeing posts from my family back in Chicago.

I need to plan a trip to see dad.

I hadn't gone back home for about four months now. I knew dad was just dying for me to go back for Thanksgiving but I couldn't this year. I needed to stay here and work. Quite typical of me, actually. When I saw Dawson texted me in regards to Isabel, I rolled my eyes, reading the message.

She's pulling away huh? Told you, you idiot.

"What do you want me to do, Covington? I told you nothing would be the same the moment y'all got back. I have no sympathy to extend."

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Keeping a distance from Isabel to avoid saying something to her I knew I would regret was hard, we still hadn't spoken. The disagreement remained heavy on my heart though. I found myself thinking about how sour things were between us whenever I had a free thought, so to avoid releasing the emotional stress I was continuing to repress, I became even more of a workaholic.

By now, i practically lived in the office and rarely went home besides to sleep, on the rare occasion I actually did, but one thing still hadn't changed, my dependency on caffeine to function day in and day out.

Running in to visit Lindsey, I got in the line in a hurry, pretending to read the menu to decide what I wanted, I knew I was just going to get the usual caramel coffee but now that it was brisk enough out, I was going to get it hot instead of iced.

After ordering I stood by the counter where my drink would be brought to me, reading the news to distract myself from the fact Isabel still didn't make an attempt to talk after I stormed out of her apartment the week before. This time, she was going to have to come to me, I wasn't going to give in when I knew not talking to me was doing more harm than good and I wasn't waiting forever either. If there really was a boundary between us now, I was considering taking a job as a bureau chief in Guatemala.

I had a week to turn down the position before the AP considered someone else.

When I heard my name being called from behind the counter, I grabbed the hot cup of overly-sweet coffee and thanked the new barista who handed it to me.

Before getting the chance to step away though, a man was standing in front of me, smiling, I'm not sure what it was about his grin, like he was excited to see me, but I was certain I never met him before, this was was awkward for me. I wasn't sure what to do. Out of habit, I smiled back at him.

"Good morning, how are you?" I asked casually, readjusting my work bag back on to my shoulder. As the man continued to stare, I remained confused.

"I'm sorry, can I help you?"

Then I realized he did look familiar when it came to me I was sure my expression gave away.

"You're the officer who saved that little boy in the thunderstorm on the side of the road last year, right? That was you?"

I remembered I was supposed to cover that and I ended up kicking myself for it after he went viral. What I wasn't sure about was how he would recognize me from anywhere. I never did show up to that scene.

Dawson​

With show season at its end, I hoped the relationship Isabel and I had would continue to blossom. We made it through the daunting parts and after the story was published, I knew I would have to come out and admit I loved her. I didn't care what the public would assume, I just knew I loved her and to continue to hide our obvious chemistry would only get us caught. I needed the world to know she was mine, but once we were home, the dynamic between us seemed to change.

I was uncertain what I could have done to upset her since the last time we were together, but Isabel was distancing herself from me. Every effort i made to see her was declined or delayed, and it made me wonder if she was beginning to regret what was brewing between us, just like the first time. Was this really all just a game to her like it was for me and Josie whenever we felt bored and alone? Or did Isabel have feelings she was afraid to confess because she hated the unknown? I wasn't entirely sure, but Jayden's disapproval of our relationship sparked an anger within me that I didn't know I was capable of. Who was he to say what constituted a good relationship when all his ended horribly? He was too much of a softy who let the women he fell for walk all over him until they decided he was no longer convenient to them. No doubt, the man deserved better, but so did I, and Isabel was it, I was sure of it. So despite my best friend's destain towards a woman he had yet to have the pleasure of meeting, I continued to pursue her in hopes whatever this rough patch was, it would patch itself up with time.

Inviting her out to dinner again for the second time this week and getting blown off again should have rubbed a man like me the wrong way, but instead, it only made me more concerned there was something deeper going on. I knew she was upset about something, I need to know what.

Texting Jayden for advice didn't go over well, his cocky ass attitude only pissed me off more.

Fine, be an asshole.

Throwing my hands up in frustration, I began to pace the dirt road mazing its way up to my driveway as I tried to think of an intutive way to get Isabel to go out with me, in public, as a couple, without upsetting her.

C'mon Six, she just spent a year with you, you have to do something for her.

And then it came to me.

 

[isax]

Jayden​

When I saw her walk in, I couldn't stop myself from admiring her. She was stunning. I never intended on actually confronting her, just admiring from afar but the moment I heard the news barista call out her name, my curiosity got the best of me.

Amelia?

Could she really be the same Amelia? Maybe I was just overthinking it, having false hope but I needed to know. My feet carried her to me in an instant, and now that I was standing in front of her, admiring her, hoping that she really was the same Amelia, I lost myself in my thoughts as time seemed to slow down. It wasn't until she mentioned the event that caused me to get so much attention last year that brought me back. I tried to hold my scowl back. I didn't want to be reminded about that. I hated how everyone viewed me as a hero. I was simply doing the right thing.

I smiled softly at her, nodding after she asked about it.

"Yeah, that was me. I just did the right thing. The fame that came with it wasn't necessary." I said smoothly, shrugging my shoulders. "Come here often?" I asked her, biting the inside of my cheek when she said yes.

It could be her.

"I thought you were moving away, Amelia." I said simply, looking over to the new barista when she called out my name. I was ready for my second cup of coffee. Stepping forward to the counter, I grabbed my cup before turning back around and smiling at Amelia. "I just want to let you know, I think you're gorgeous. Also, you didn't have to lie."

Isabel​

Upon arriving home, I did the only thingI could find it in myself to do. I walked out to my balcony, sitting on the make-shift couch I made for the area, closing my eyes as I let the noises of the city fill my ears and distract me. As the impatient drivers honked, people yelled, and screeches made on the concrete, I savored it. I didn't want to think about who I was. I didn't think about who I hurt or the chance Amelia wouldn't talk to me. I knew deep down she was waiting for me to make the first move, but I didn't want to. I didn't have it in me to do it.

You don't deserve her anymore.

It wasn't a lie. I didn't deserve Amelia as my best friend anymore. Thinking about what I did made me release a big cry. I didn't stop it. I let it happen, hoping to rid myself of all the negative energy I had. When I heard my phone ringing, I blinked, looking at it and seeing Dawson's name. I ignored it, not wanting to do anything but stay home and sulk.

You need to text Amelia.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Nodding respectively at the officer's humble reply, I held my smile. I expected that automated response because of my personal experience with the police officer persona, having a grandfather who dedicated himself to the career for 35 years I picked up on all the typical tendencies, now that I knew this man was an officer it made sense that he took the closest seat to the door and remained facing it. Before I could compliment him on his service good out of my own sincerity, I watched him struggle to continue the conversation like I thought he was going to after exhaling deeply.

When the man asked if I came here often, I wasn't sure how this was relevant, growing suspicious now, I answered carefully, still having no inclination on how he could know me. It was possible he was mistaking me for someone else. It would make sense, I possessed a rather generic appearance, Blonde hair, hazel eyes, dainty stature, I fit the frame for a preppy white girl rather well.

"Uh yeah? Almost every day I guess, when I have time to pop in." Cutting my hot coffee tighter, I grew uncomfortable when I caught on to his cheek biting.

What's going on?

I didn't even hear him refer to me by my name at first, it took a long minute to comprehend what exactly he said, but my dazed confusion soon vanished when I heard Linsdey's trainee call out a name I knew.

Jayden. Shit. Shit, Shit.

Gasping, I gripped my own cup much tighter this time, loosening the lid, it splashed down my arm, the cup coming to its demise and meeting the floor after it scalded me.

Great. Could this week get any worse? So much for those white pants, right?

"Damn it," I mumbled under my breathe before i reached for a fistful of napkins from the dispenser on the table beside me.

By now, Jayden was turning to smile at me, unlike before he was more confident in his tone when he spoke to me, even deciding to test the waters and be flirtatious now that he made the connection I was the one who passed him multiple notes last year I thought he would forget. Unfortunately, he hadn't.

Looking up at him in a stern glare, I couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous he sounded.

"Good one? How many other girls have you used that one on?" Rolling my eyes, I continued to cover the floor in a mass of napkins before Lindsey made her way over with the mop and the hugest smirk on her face when he met gazes.

Shaking my head, I sighed deeply in frustration, bringing my hands to my face, making a horrible attempt to hide how flustered I was.

 

[isax]

Jayden​

Seeing Amelia become flustered was unexpected but cute in a way. What wasn't cute was the fact that she burned herself in the process of realizing who I was and spilled her coffee on her white pants. I felt horribly instantly the moment she called me out for the line of flattery. This woman standing in front of me was a force to be reckoned with and I was up for the challenge. I knew instantly she wasn't going to be easy to convince going on a date with but maybe that's what I needed in life. All the girls I ever dated were childish, always wanting money or using me for their self-gain until they didn't need me anymore, throwing me on the curb.

"Here, let me help." Bending down, I helped Lindsey grab all the used napkins before turning my attention to the stunning woman who was hiding her face behind her hands.

"Maybe I could have said something else but I couldn't help it. You are beautiful, Amelia. I feel bad for flustering you. Let me buy you another coffee. There's a trick I know about getting stains our and if we act fast, I think I can get that stain out for ya."

Turning back to Lindsey, I asked her for a tea bag, another coffee for Amelia, and some lemons. When she handed me the tea bag and lemons, I turned back to Amelia.

"Alright, let's get this stain out. Mind sitting down for me?"

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

I wasn't the type to handle my own vulnerability well, so when I was, I always altered the focus from me to something else. Jayden was testing me with his persistence on complimenting me and trying to help.

This makes me uncomfortable, I should have just left. Too late now.

At his offer to help, I shook my head without even considering taking his help. Putting my hand in front of me in resistance, I backed up.

"It's fine, I can just go home and change and I didn't really need the coffee anyways. I just have a caffeine problem, but thank you."

Before I could back out any further, I was thrown off by Lindsey making herself the demandant mediator of the situation.

"Amelia, sit"

"Wh--"

"Sit."

Giving into her stern tone, I felt my cheeks go hot before I obeyed the woman who made my coffee almost every morning. Sitting down slowly, I set my bag to the side, starting to feel the pain from the burn on my hand set in. By then Linsdey already left me to fend for myself while she went to retrieve the wet floor sign. After Jayden's two sly compliments I wasn't sure what to say to avoid the awkwardness, but the silence wasn't helping.

"Today's just not my day, I guess. I can't say I expected this though. I scare too easily."

 

[isax]

Jayden​

I was thankful Lindsey was able to convince Amelia to stay, more specifically speak to her in the most stern voice I've ever heard the barista use. When the journalist finally gave in, sitting down in the chair I had pulled out for her, I couldn't help but smile. She was so flustered and didn't want me around. I understood why. She probably thought I let everything we shared go but that was hard to achieve. She was always on my mind the moment we decided to pass the notes, even after she lied about moving away.

Squatting down, I nodded when I heard her explain today just didn't seem to be a good one for her. Now that I had the chance, I rubbed the lemon juice on one of the tea bags that was now empty, soon rubbing into the fabric of her pants, hoping the stain came out as best as it possibly could. I wasn't doing this to impress her. I wanted to help because I felt bad for being the reason she burned herse;f and ruined her pants.

"It happens. Not everyday will be a good one but you'll get through this. I should apologize for the scare. I bet you thought I forgot all about you so meeting never crossed your mind, which I understand. Everything we shared was just too much to forget though. I'm not sorry I was able to forget but I am sorry for popping up randomly."

After spending a couple more minutes working into the fabric of her pants with the lemon soaked tea bag, I was satisfied when it all came out.

"There. Some lemon will always work wonders when it comes to stains. Your coffee is almost ready too. How's your hand?"

Standing up, I set everything aside, taking her hand into my own carefully so I didn't hurt her. When I examined it, I noticed it didn't bubble up, which was great news. I knew a trick to get the pain to subside and cool it off but I doubted Lindsey had any mustard here.

"I can wrap up your hand for you if you'd like."

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

To distract myself from my own anxiousness, I focused on the rhythm of my breathing, looking down at Jayden when he spoke. This man was perplexing to me, I ended the notes over a year ago and he was still talking about them like they were recent. This only confirmed I was right in my reasoning to stop what I thought was the harmless notes. To him, they obviously were leading to something more than what I anticipated. I didn't think we shared that much.

Smirking at his comment and his continuing to help, I looked up at him with amusement in my eyes,

"You're smooth and I bet you know that. I can wrap it, but thank you."

Standing up, I gathered my things attempting not to wince in pain as I once again tried to take my out of this unpredicted situation.

"It was nice to meet you, Jayden. Now I can put a face to your name, that's exciting." And your blue eyes are pretty unforgettable.

 

[isax]

Jayden​

She thinks I'm smooth?

I had to make myself stifle a laugh when Amelia called me smooth. No other woman had even thought of telling me that because let's be honest, they probably thought I wasn't. It didn't help any that I was always so awkward around women before. That was mainly due to my own insecurities but I was able to get a grip and move past them.

Meeting Amelia's gaze, I blinked when she told me she was going to leave. I didn't want her to go already. I knew she was trying to run away and I couldn't let her go. I refused to lose her again. Biting my lip, I grabbed her free hand, the one that wasn't burned, and smiled.

"Leaving me so soon? How disappointing. Why don't you stay for awhile? I know you're in pain from the burn and there's honestly no rush for you to leave. Did I scare you that much? I thought journalists were supposed to enjoy getting to know new people."

Winking in her direction, I couldn't help but chuckle, hiding my sly grin behind my free hand. What I just said sounded funnier in my head and did not pan out like I thought it would have. Releasing her hand, I put both of mine in my pockets, sighing softly.

"I even ordered you a new cup of coffee. Let's not forget I helped get that nasty stain out of your white slacks and offered to wrap your hand for you. Just a few minutes with me won't hurt, will it, Amelia? I promise I don't bite."

Before she had the chance to deny my offer and leave, I pulled out the chair she was just sitting in, motioning for her to sit back down, content when she did.

"Let me grab your coffee for you."

Isabel​

Tuning out the world was always something I enjoyed doing whenever I was feeling too many emotions at one time. Ever since I got back home from the newsroom, feeling disgusted in regards to my most recent story, I stayed outside. I let the noises of the bustling city distract me from reality, trying not to give in to the darkest emotions I currently felt. I missed my best friend. I missed Dawson. I missed them both but I didn't feel strong enough to confront either of them. I knew Amelia was more than angry with me, and she had every right to be. I also knew there was a chance of me feeling gross looking Dawson in the eye.

Just text Amelia.

Grabbing my phone, I opened my text thread with my best friend, sighing softly as my thumbs hovered over the keyboard. Biting my lip, I simply began to word vomit and sent it before I got the chance to rethink what I was doing.

"Hi best friend. I know you probably don't want to talk to me but I love you and I'm sorry. Really really sorry. Can you come over sometime? I miss you."

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Feeling Jayden reach for my hand when I tried to depart, I wasn't surprised, in the last couple minutes we spent together I learned he was the persistent type. Sighing, I turned to face him again, curious as to what he would do next.

This man is really trying to play games with me, he had the audacity to pull the journalist card.

"And what do you know about journalists?" I challenged, still standing, not wanting to give into his plea to sit so soon. "We are very busy people, you know. I don't have as much leisurely time to sit around and drink my coffee," I said as an indirect to Jayden's own profession. "And while I appreciate your help, I didn't ask for it, you persisted like you are now."

Sitting down, I discouraged his satisfied smirk, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Don't get excited, coffee is just a weakness and you already paid for it. I'm not that rude."

Feeling a vibration from my work bag, I pulled out my phone, knowing who it was just by the pattern of the vibrating. Isabel. Even though I was livid with her, I couldn't ignore my compulsive nature to read whatever she had to say, even if I didn't respond right away. (LOL GUILTY). Reading her message though, I was still less than pleased with how she was handling the second argument of this entire ten-year friendship.

What is this, high school? If you continue to do what you're doing, I don't know if this can be reprimanded and that's heartbreaking, and over a Covington, honestly? I never saw this coming.

Fighting the urge to cry, I continued to stare at the message on my home screen until Jayden returned with my coffee. Throwing the phone in my bag, I pretended it was nothing important. Isabel kept me in the dark about one of the biggest aspects of her life for over a year so she could wait until I decided I had the time to discuss meeting with her.

"Thanks for the coffee," I replied politely, removing the lid so it could cool faster before I checked my watch for the time. I did have a meeting in an hour, i was just planning to head into the newsroom earlier to get some work done.

Looking back up at Jayden, I wrinkled my nose when he removed his lid to reveal he drank his coffee black.

" That's what I paid for for months? Is that part of your tough guy image or do you really just like your coffee disgustingly bitter?"

 

[isax]

Jayden​

When I came to sit with Amelia after getting both our cup of coffees, I noticed she looked off, upset almost. I wasn't sure what happened in the few seconds I turned my attention away but by how fast she threw her phone in her purse, I figured someone had to have texted her something that angered her. I wanted to know who and what it was, mainly because I wanted to help her. I barley knew a thing about this woman but knowing she was upset made me upset.

Gross. I sound just like Dawson.

My best friend went on and on about Isabel, how he knew so little about her before they left for an entire year but felt such strong emotions. I didn't believe any of that. I didn't think it was possible to feel that way towards someone you hardly knew but the more I looked at Amelia, the more I knew what Dawson meant. I felt like a hypocrite now. I was so quick to get angry with him, letting my displeasure of Isabel be known without realizing I had done the same thing to him. He still didn't know about Amelia, the mystery woman I passed notes with a year ago. He didn't know that I felt so many strong emotions when I thought of her, just like he did with Isabel. Now, I felt like an utter jerk.

I have to talk to him later.

Pushing thoughts of my best friend aside, I turned my full attention back to Amelia, smiling when she pointed out my black coffee after I took off the lid. I chuckled before I nodded, sighing softly.

"I'm hurt that you think I have a tough guy image. I thought I've been pretty genuine with you so far." I said, shrugging. "My dad and I are super close so everything he ever did is what I inspired to do, hence the black coffee."

My answer was generic but true. After mentioning my dad, I made a mental note to call him later. I wasn't sure what the old man was up to back in Chicago.

"What about you? Why is your coffee almost white? Do you just drink coffee for the aesthetic and not the caffeine?" The more we talked, the more I knew she was hiding something. "Hey, are you alright? You seem a little down."

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

While Jayden spoke I unintentionally zoned out for half a second thinking about Isabel and what I was going to tell her. Realistically, it was unfeasible to avoid her, we did need to have a conversation. but I only had one solution to this mess of a situation and she was going to resent what this boiled down to.

She has to drop the story.

Shaking my head, I looked up at Jayden, bringing my hand to my face, I sighed.

"It's nothing, I just have a lot on my mind, a lot of things to do. If you actually knew anything about a journalist you would know I drink my coffee because I need the caffeine to function. I just have to drink my coffee 'almost white' because I'm really not supposed to drink it as frequently as I do. I have a caffeine sensitivity that makes me sick if I drink too much of it. I've had it for a while, it hinders my life more than you think. it's quite unpredictable."

Picking up the cup, I ignored the pain in my hand and took a long sip, like it was water, before i set it down again. "Just right," I whispered with a smile, catching Jayden's gaze again.

"What are you looking at?" I asked curiously looking over my shoulder to the window to look for anything that would catch his eye, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary, Weird. Checking my watch again, I took note that I had 25 minutes until the editors meeting.

"Any other personal questions you would like to ask before i depart, officer?"

 

[isax]

Jayden​

I knew deep down something was really bothering Amelia. I don't know why I thought she would tell me about it. We barley knew a thing about each other. I didn't even know how much time I had left with her before she has to leave again. Once she did, there was no guarantee we would ever see each other again. Sighing, I tried to remain positive, listening to the journalist as she explained why she drank her coffee with so much creamer.

"You're sensitive to caffeine? That's not something I knew existed but I do feel bad for you."

When she asked me what I was looking at, I was thrown for a loop. When she looked behind her, I was even more puzzled.

What does she think I'm looking at?

"What else would I be looking at Amelia? I'm looking at you. You're stunning and I'm trying to memorize every feature on your face before you leave and we never see each other again." Smiling gently, I took a long sip from my own coffee, enjoying the bitter taste I had grown so accustomed to.

There was a lot I wanted to learn about the woman sitting across from me. Like why she went into journalism, where was she from, but most importantly, what drives her everyday. Knowing what drives a person was something I always enjoyed learning about. Maybe it was because every factor was different, I wasn't sure but it was always a major fascination.

"I do have somethings, actually. It's a lot so I guess my question to you is let me take you for dinner? It doesn't have to be today but I would really appreciate it if you let me. I want to get to know you more and I know you're on a time crunch so I don't want to keep you."

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

I was unsure about Jayden. There was a fine line between a little dorky and a little bit well, uh, creepy? He was on the border. A guy never made a comment about memorizing my face before. I wasn't sure what he was quite yet, after hearing him try to hold a conversation, but I couldn't stay to figure it out.

Yikes, I don't want to sound inintrested but.... Ugh I hate being the one to drop the hint. But with how life's going lately, I am the bitch so I might as well continue to play it.

"Actually, I do have to go. I have a meeting to get to," I replied kindly getting up to grab my things, I didn't want to give him my number in case he was a creep, so I pulled a business card out of my bag with my office phone number and my professional website.

"This might answer some of your questions. Have a nice day, Jayden, thanks again for the coffee and your stain remover skills. Try creamer sometime?" I asked in a farewell wave before I headed to work, the one place I didn't feel emotionally drained.

Later that night...
​

After not replying to Isabel all day, not sure what to say through a text that would reassure her things would be okay. I just showed up at her door. I figured it would be the best way to solve the brewing conflict, given the last time I saw her was when I walked out on her. Running up the stairs to her apartment I grabbed my keys, looking for hers to see a beautifully wrapped box left at her doorstep. The wrapping paper was a metallic bright blue and a yellow accent ribbon. The tag was addressed to her and marked "From the crew." in decent cursive. Rolling my eyes, assuming who the crew was I grabbed it before I walked inside.

Setting the box on the table, I made direct eye contact with Isabel from where she stood in the kitchen. Clearing my throat, I held up all the mail that was flooding her mailbox, I had extra keys to everything for when she went out of the country for long period's of time and I knew she would be behind on her daily tasks considering she was spiraling.

"Someone left something for you at the door, and I picked up your mail, I didn't know you had such a big fan base," I teased awkwardly trying to break the tension between us. Despite this, I still came to tell her to drop the story. There was no other way to solve this chaotic mess but what the story would do for her portfolio wasn't worth all the conflict it would cause.

It was only a matter of time before Isabel spilled everything that was on her mind, so without saying anything else, I took my spot on the couch and waited for her to take hers.

 

[isax]

Isabel​

When Amelia walked into my house, I wasn't expecting it. I had just begun making myself dinner, something to ease the growing hunger in my stomach. I was surprised with myself for cooking. Usually when I start spiraling like I am now, eating is the last thing I ever want to do but cooking always did calm my nerves. Not knowing what to say at first after Amelia and I made eye contact, I let her be the first to initiate conversation while I tried to get a grip on the many thoughts swarming through my head.

What I did notice in an instant, however, was the box delicately wrapped in bright blue wrapping paper with yellow ribbon to accent it. It didn't take long for me to know who sent it but instead of smiling and being excited to open it, I felt my stomach turn and the need to throw up. I tried to push a smile through, setting down the spatula I had in my hand before I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants, walking towards the table where Amelia set all the mail I failed to get.

"I'm not sure a fan base is always a good thing. Thanks for getting everything for me," I said softly, trying my hardest to keep smiling while I trailed my fingers over the box, reading the note that was attached to it. I wasn't ready to open it, so instead I took a deep breath, releasing it to calm myself before I turned my attention back to Amelia, genuine smile on my face this time.

"I didn't know you were coming over but I have enough food for the both of us. Does a burger sound alright? How was work?"

Did you know I want to take a couple months off? Did you know the more I think about this stupid Blue Angel, the more disgusted I get with myself?

These thoughts were ones I should be sharing with Amelia, now that she was in my apartment and more than willing to hear me out, but I wasn't ready to break. I wasn't ready to let my guard down and spiral completely.

Sometimes that's what I need.

"Best friend, what do I do? I haven't talked to Dawson since we got back. I've been ignoring his attempts to go out and it's not because he did anything wrong but because I can't do it. As much as I love him I can't have both him and the story. I have to drop it. I can't publish the story. Just thinking about it makes me sick and because of it I can't look at myself the same. I'm a mess and I just don't know what to do."

With that, I sat down next to her, putting my head on her shoulder as the tears began falling. I couldn't hold everything in anymore. Amelia was the only one who had always been there for me. Why I didn't tell her about Dawson and I while I was away, I wasn't sure but now she was the only one I could rely on. Now that I let everyone down, her, Dawson, the crew, my workplace, she was the only one I knew would hear me out and help.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

"I'm not hungry, it's okay," I whispered, making my best effort to stay calm in front of her rather than say anything I wanted to say because I knew it wasn't worth it for how much it would burn her. Staying silent, I continued to just stare straight ahead until I heard her voice break the unbearable silence. It wasn't what I expected it to be. It was no apology, rather it was her venting to me as if she was a victim. I didn't understand, as much as I wanted to, I thought of every possible scenario and in each one of them, there was no valid reasoning to push away from me the way she did. She chose the path she was going down, it wasn't handed to her to deal with, her decision was deliberate so as empathetic as I wanted to feel towards her, I was incapable from the moment I knew she was being deceitful with me.

You dug yourself in this hole, Isabel.

Sighing, I bit my lip when she claimed to love Dawson. The thought was inconceivable to me that she really loved him if she never thought to tell me, the one person she was supposed to tell everything to.

"I can't help you," I whispered helplessly, letting my own tears fall when I gently pushed away from her. As much as I tried to always protect her mental state, mine was in its own disarray, I couldn't even look at her. "I can't be your anchor right now, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come," I replied hastily, grabbing my keys to leave. Of course, I thought she should drop the story but i was more hurt that she kept me in the dark from her personal life rather than her risking my reputation as a journalist, I could attempt to fix that, I couldn't fix her hiding things from me.

 

[isax]

Isabel​

Amelia telling me she couldn't be my anchor right now, quickly packing up to leave again is what did the deed. In that moment is when I broke, not knowing who I was anymore. I never once considered ever keeping anything from Amelia. I told her everything except for this one thing and now it was biting my ass. Though my intentions for not telling her were good enough for me, I knew they wouldn't be for my best friend. I knew telling her I kept her in the dark was because I didn't want to ruin what she built for her career wasn't enough nor worth forgiving. I couldn't tell her the real reason.

Watching her grab her keys, everything seemed to go in slow motion, my heart breaking every second. I knew I needed to say something. I knew I needed her to stay, but I couldn't find it in me to say a damn thing. It was frustrating. The only thing that happened was more tears rolling down my face. Curling into a ball, I hugged my knees against my chest, biting my lip.

Tell her.

"Amelia wait," I said meekly, not looking at her as I found how to tell her the truth. "I understand that you can't be my anchor but you deserve to know the truth. What you do with it is up to you. I didn't mention anything about Dawson and I because we got caught. It was when we were in Corpus. The Covington's decided to come see this show. Naturally, Josie tagged along. We thought no one was watching us. We were both in the hangar, talking before he had his show. It's when he gave me his dog tags, the same ones he got back from Josie after they split. Josie saw and in the heat of the moment caught pictures of the whole thing, most importantly the kiss. I didn't know she was in there so I wasn't aware that she heard me tell him I couldn't wait to tell you everything. She was willing to use such a simple statement to take you down in an attempt to hurt me and get me to leave Dawson. I thought we were cool but I should've known better. There's so much that happened in the span of 11 months that you don't know because I feared Josie. The Corpus show was early on, so for the rest of the season I laid low. I have something to give you, though.

There was also that.

Standing up, I wrapped the throw blanket around me tightly, hiding in it because I didn't want her to notice I dropped weight in the couple week span since I've been back. Like I said, spiraling usually means I don't eat. Walking into my room, I grabbed what I was looking for before walking back out and handing it to Amelia. She would recognize it the moment she saw it. It was the travel journal she gave me all those years ago, unused but now full of stories I wanted to tell my best friend but couldn't.

"I finally used it," I said, laughing to fill the silence ringing in my ears, "Inside is everything you want to know. There wasn't a day I didn't want to tell you, Amelia. I wanted you to know everything but I couldn't tell you it all. It would've made it much worse for you if Josie threw us under the bus. Some things have gaps. I'll fill them in for you if you really want to know but the major things are in here. Whenever I had the itch to text you, I grabbed the journal and wrote you a letter. You don't have to read any of it, and you don't have to forgive me, but I needed to give you this."

Sighing, I bit my lip again, rubbing my arm from discomfort.

"Love you long time, Amelia," Smiling weakly, I walked to my kitchen, needing something to distract me, anticipating hearing my door open and close, Amelia walking out of my life forever.

How do I tell you about what hurt the most?

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

"You think I can't tell that you're still lying?" I asked in a quivering voice, gripping the journal she handed me. Setting the journal down on the coffee table I went straight for the freezer and pulled out the bottle of tequila I kept there and a shot glass, setting that on the table too, I went scavenging in the hall closet for my favorite blanket and curled into the couch with the bottle and the glass, pouring the first shot and taking it as Isabel returned, squinching my face as I the alcohol percolated down my throat, creating a warm sensation once it hit my chest. I was preparing myself for what I was about to say and what the night could entail. I knew there was still more than what she was telling me and I wasn't completely buying what she just revealed in desperation to get me to stay.

"Read me what you want me to know."

Regardless of what happened over the last year, Isabel was going to face me with it, whether she liked it or not.

 

[isax]

Isabel​

Reading every letter I wrote in the journal to Amelia face-to-face wasn't what I had intended. Some of the events in there I tried to forget and resurfacing them would only bring back the emotions I worked so hard to repress. Watching her get comfortable with her bottle of tequila and her favorite blanket, I released a deep breath before biting my lip, nodding at her request.

"Okay." My voice cracked but in an attempt to ease my emotions and nerves, I was going to need an alcoholic beverage, preferably a strong one. Right now, I wasn't feeling the usual bottle of wine. Opening my fridge, I grabbed my go to whiskey— Gentleman Jack. I knew I shouldn't drink it straight so I opted for drinking it with Coke. After pouring the classic Jack-and-Coke, I walked to the living room, sighing as I sat across from Amelia, taking the journal from her.

Taking a swig from my drink, I savored the flavor of it, tasting more of the whiskey rather than the coke.

Just how I wanted it.

Opening the journal, I bit my lip, thinking which entry I wanted to open with. I wanted to save the hardest day of being on tour with Dawson for the end. I wasn't looking forward to bringing up the emotions that came with it. I knew that's what Amelia wanted to know. I knew she didn't believe what I told her earlier because I was hiding the most important thing from her. It's not like the Josie thing didn't happen. That just honestly wasn't severe enough not to tell Amelia. Deciding to start from the beginning, I began reading the journal.

"May 5th— Cherry Point, NC

Amelia,

Do you ever get the feeling that everything in your life is going so well that something bad has to be coming? Today is one of those days for me. The crew and I are in North Carolina today. Traveling with them has been an indescribable part of my life and I am genuinely so honored to be here. As stated in previous entries, Dawson and I have begun seeing each other. We've done it in secret, usually on the weekends when we can get away from reality and enter our own world. I know this isn't ethical. I know it but I still deep down feel like he is worth it all, best friend. That feeling doesn't happen often and it sure as hell doesn't happen with just anyone.

Today, I'm adding this letter to the many ones I've already written because it's my grandpa's birthday. Considering its been around ten years since his passing, you would think I've been able to move on. Days like today, watching Dawson fly, being with one of the best demonstration crews made me think about him all day today. It made me think about how he gave me you. I wish I could text you and tell you the truth, fill you in on everything. Hiding this from you isn't what I want to do but if something happens, I can't be the reason you lose your career. You're better off clueless as messed up as that sounds.

Love you always, Amelia. On a day of remembering my first anchor, know I will always be thankful for you, my current anchor.

Your overemotional Hispanic Best Friend,
Isabel."

After reading the first entry of the night, I took another deep breath, flipping through the pages, finding the most important dates I needed to tell her. Avoiding everyday but that day. I read her more entries, ones about the first fight Dawson and I ever had, the day I threatened to drop the story, wanting to leave the crew and go back home, the day one of the engines blew out during practice, all of them. I was reaching the end and I knew she needed to know. I needed to read her the entry of September 29th.

Building up the courage, I downed my second drink in an instant, biting my lip as I flipped to the pages. I couldn't stop the immediate tears that fell the moment I saw the pictures. They weren't my pictures. They weren't of the crew or Dawson or the both of us, these were different. They were sonograms. Sonograms of the child Dawson and I would have had.

"September 29th — Miramar, California

Anchor,

Today the crew and I are in Miramar. Dawson and I had planned to go out and explore the base. I'm in the place of my favorite movie and I was more than excited to get to see it all in person. Today was supposed to be an amazing day but days like that are always rare for me.

I'm writing this letter while being in the one building I hate with all my heart. All I can think about is how much I wish you were here. I wish I could have told you everything because maybe then you would be here, in Miramar to console me during such a dark time in my life. I can assume the first thing to catch your attention about this entry were the pictures I attached to it. They're real. If everything would have worked in mine and Dawson's favor, if God and the universe would have willed it so, you would have had a niece or nephew. Dawson and I would have had a child.

I hate being here. I hate these barren white walls, cold ass rooms, and itchy robe with all my heart. I hate being in this prison, constantly thinking about the days I lost my grandpa, but now I hate them even more, because now I lost someone else in this hell. I lost the only thing I ever wanted. I lost a child and I never thought going through a miscarriage would wreck me the way it is. I'm spiraling."

Stopping to catch a breath, I bit my lip, trying to find the will to keep going. I didn't want to. I felt all the same emotions I felt that day. The guilt, the grief, the anger, the hurt. All of it was resurfacing as I read every word of this entry but Amelia needed to know. She deserved to know.

"Dawson and I were at my hotel room when it happened. He had just put on Top Gun while I started prepping everything I planned on cooking for dinner. Everything happened in a matter of seconds, Amelia. While I was putting the spinach in the pot to cook, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I didn't want to worry Dawson about it at first so I asked him to watch the food while I ran to the bathroom. I felt it in my heart something was wrong. I just knew. Sure enough, the only thing I saw was blood. Blood and pain. I screamed, begging God to not let this be true. That's when Dawson ran in and instantly knew what was happening. We rushed to the hospital. I didn't want to come. Dawson didn't know how much I hated them but I knew he wanted to make sure I was going to be okay— physically at least.

Ya know what the doctors said? They said miscarriages happen. They're more common than we like to think. They said it was too early for them to fully determine what went wrong but after basically telling us this was expected to happen, they said it may have been induced because of stress. Do you know how much hearing that hurt? They broke me. I'm the reason it happened. I'm the reason Dawson is in so much pain right now. I'm surprised he can even look at me. I wouldn't if I were in his shoes but he's stuck by my side. He just fell asleep beside me, refusing to go back with his crew for the show tomorrow. I'm going to force him to go in the morning. Him staying with me will only cause suspicions.

Everything's calmed down enough right now. I don't know when everything will hit me again but I'm not ready for it. I wish I could call you, cry to you, ask you to come be with me tomorrow while I'm stuck here instead of on base with the crew. They say I'll be okay and that after the last tests I can leave. I wish I never had to come. I wish my child would still be in my stomach, growing as we all anticipate his or her arrival. Things like this just happen huh?

I love you and deeply wish you were here.

Your Spiraling Best Friend,
Isabel."

Silence was all there was after I finished reading the letter. It was the one letter I didn't want to read. By now, I was shaking, tears falling uncontrollably as I set the journal down for Amelia to see the sonograms, hugging myself tightly as I buried my face. I felt the grief all over again. I hated this. It had been two and a half months since then but the wounds were still so fresh.

Get your act together.

Lifting my head, I smiled weakly at Amelia, wiping away the tears with the sleeve of my sweater.

"I can't read anymore. Not tonight, okay?"

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Whatever Isabel was hiding gave me an unsettling feeling as I watched her continuously pour the whiskey longer than usual. It was starting to fester in my stomach and I felt incapacitated. When she opened the book i poured another shot and set the bottle aside, I needed to be coherent for this.

Staring at the matte black picture frame with a picture of the two of us from when I went to visit her in Dallas, the first time, my junior year of college, I smiled at the picture, the two of us were holding onto each other for dear life after I just found her in the terminal and a bystander was nice enough to offer to take our picture with the camera my grandparents gifted me the summer before. Even to this day, it was one of my favorite pictures of us. So, knowing I couldn't look at Isabel while she read her letters to me, I just stared at the picture, remembering how euphoric it was then.

The first entry Isabel chose to read didn't surprise me, She mastered the ability to pull at my heartstrings early on and she knew, the mention of her beloved grandfather was one way to bring me to my knees. Not wanting to give into her after the first entry, I curled my big toe into the rug and pressed it as hard as it would go; pain was the only thing to distract me in a situation like this.

As I predicted, each entry got more intense, she told me mostly only the darkest parts of her year, but I expected that given how isolated she began to feel. It only made me feel adamantly guilty for being so sour towards herm and then, there was the bombshell that broke it all. that tore me out of my stubborn front and sent me running for her.

My best friend experienced the unimaginable. Given how we bonded in the beginning, over hanging in the wrong crowds looking for a place to belong, the thought of Isabel ever experiencing unbearable grief and sadness was too much for me. From the first time I spoke to her, I thought she was one of the most precious human beings I ever met, and I wanted to do nothing but protect her. Since then, our friendship blossomed and over the years, she became family, The ideology of wanting to protect her from all of the universe's harsh ways, was only more prominent over time, and each time I couldn't save her, even when I knew she needed to experience, to watch her break down and think she was worth anything less than what she was, was the worst feeling in the world to me. In an indescribable way, I felt like I failed her after everything she went through before I became a part of her life. So to think, she went through something so, vile, without me, I couldn't compose myself completely anymore.

She lost a child, Amelia, how could you be so inconsiderate and oblivious to that?

When I was able to comprehend what happened, I gasped and threw the blanket from my shoulders and took her into my arms, I knew there was nothing I could say to console her, but at least this time, now that I selfishly dug up horrible emotions for her to feel for a second go around, I was here. I was going to be her anchor.

"Hey, it's okay, we're done reading, don't even worry about it. Come here," I said softly hugging her, my tone changing completely. "I'm here," I whispered not letting go. I wasn't going to say anything else. I wasn't going to pretend like I knew what she was going through or even try to conceive the thought. I didn't want to, but my heart broke seeing her like this, of course, I thought she didn't deserve this, but there was no turning back time as much as I wished I could to try and fix this.

Still keeping Isabel in an embrace while she cried against me, I just let her have her moment, this was something she needed from me and after waiting two months for it, I wasn't going to rush her out of it.

Trying to catch my own breath over her exasperated sobbing I closed my eyes and did the only thing I could think to do that would help. I prayed over her. The same prayer, I always fell to when I felt like the world was against me.

God, please grant her the serenity to accept the things she cannot change, the courage to change the things she can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I will forever be indebted to you. Take care of the sweet angel for me.

 

[isax]

The Following Morning...
Isabel​

After reading the one and only letter Amelia needed to know about, I couldn't remember what else happened. I know I cried so much, enough to make me sick. I remember spending a few minutes hunched over a toilet, heaving food that didn't exist in my stomach before Amelia started a bath for me and gave me time to unwind. After that, I assume I fell asleep but I wasn't sure. All I hoped for was that Amelia was still here with me. I could only hope she didn't leave because I don't think I can get through this day without her.

Today was the day I dropped the story.

Climbing out of bed, I walked to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and fixing my hair before I went to my closet to get dressed. I didn't feel like full dressing up so I opted for a more business casual outfit for today. Hearing my phone ring, I looked over at it, biting my lip when I saw Dawson's name followed with a picture of us on the screen. Just the sight of his name sent made me nauseous. I couldn't even fathom talking to him right now. Not with the buried feelings of the miscarriage dug up once more. Not when every time I looked at him, all I could think about was how unethical I was. For my own sanity, I couldn't go through with this story.

Grabbing my phone, I put it in my purse, walking out of my room, spotting Amelia on the couch fast asleep. Smiling, I set my purse down at the table by the door, walking over to her, covering her with her favorite blanket before I began cleaning up the mess that was left behind last night. Putting all the alcohol away, cleaning all the dishes and throwing away the turkey burger I didn't get the chance to eat, I leaned against the granite countertop, losing myself in my thoughts. Glancing at the delicatly wrapped box in the Blue Angel colors, I sighed softly.

I should see what's inside.

I walked over to the table, pulling the yellow accent ribbon to loosen the bow. I was unconsiously biting my bottom lip, terrified for what I would find inside. Removing the metalic blue wrapping paper, I took another deep inhale, releasing it before I opened the box and saw what was inside. I couldn't hold back the gasp that escaped me when I saw the jacket. It was one exactly like the crews. Taking it out of the box, tears began to fall as I saw the back, Anes etched into it. It was such a perfect gift.

I'm being overemotional again.

Hearing rustling from the living room, I looked back at my best friend, smiling at her softly before I folded the jacket to put it back in the box.

"Morning," I said softly, but before I could say anything more, my phone rang yet again. I didn't have to look at it to know it was Dawson. Biting my lip, I looked away from Amelia, closing the box once the jacket was back inside it. "I have to drop the story, Amelia."

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