Futuristic Accidentally Saving the Galaxy (Incident 87)

[BackSet]

Federal Intergalactic Investigation Force Incident File #87

Time of Incident: stardate 2200
Time of Investigation: stardate 2205

Summary: Incident number 87 was the result of a seemingly unrelated series of events that led a group of unlikely heroes to band together and accidentally save the galaxy. Armed with nothing but a rickety old ship and whatever they happened to be carrying when the whole incident began they discovered a plot that would have devestated the galaxy and possibly the rest of the universe as well.

The following is an account by those involved in incident number 87. The FIIF can not vouch for the accuracy of this account.

The first person we interviewed was the Bartender at the Engine Grease Bar on Shition B where the incident started.

Well, it all started around 5 years ago, when a rather unusal assortment of people walked into my bar. Now, they didn’t come in all at once, no, they came in in indivisually, maybe a few were in groups. And that’s when things really began...

5 years ago,
The Shition System,
Shition B

The Shition System has roots derived from an ancient earth langauge, since lost to time with the introduction of common (and yes I realize the time scale is way off for people to forget japanese, work with me here). The original word, which only extreme history nerds know, roughly translates to City. It’s also called Shition because it’s a pretty Shitty place to live. And Shition B is the worst of them. Nevertheless, it has some pretty good bars and as long as your okay with beating the crap out of someone who’s trying to rob you every five minutes you should be fine. And fine was exactly what Kyra White was.

She had just finished a pretty nice smuggling run and had been payed handsomely for it. And now she was spending it on some much needed wine.

“Ah.” She said, leaning back in her seat and casually punching a pickpocket in the face. “This is the life.”

Chokky malk MehIsPotato 2Bornot2B SpaceDandy

 

[2Bornot2B]

Luna
The Shition System
Shition B

Luna stumbled into the bar and dived under a table. The sounds of gunshots followed her and passed by the bar. She sighed with relief. She picked herself up and brushed herself off before casually strolling up to the bartender "the strongest thing you have".The Bartender pours out a clear liquid into a shot glass which she would then pick up and down the contents she blindly chucks money onto the counter of the bar and steals a cigarette off the sleeping man next to her. She wanders over to Kyra and smirks "Hey Wine lady. You got a light?" She points at her cigarette. About an hour prior a little boy caught her when she was about to blow the brains outta one of her contracts.
BackSet

 

[Chokky malk]

Pan who was sweeping up the mess a previous customer made heard gunshots outside the bar and saw a bounty hunter bust through the door, he mumbles to himself "same old, same old" and continues sweeping. After cleaning the bar into a decent enough condition he collapses onto one of the booths exhausted from all the work he has to do here. Pan yells to his boss, the bartender, "I better be getting a raise."

 

[BackSet]

Kyra White
random stranger walks up and asks for a lighter. Damn people are drunk in this place.
​

Kyra looked up from her bottle. It was about halfway empty because she drank slowly. She had a good stomach for this stuff so she wasn’t quite drunk yet but it would get there. Now back to the matter at hand. This lady wanted a lighter. Did Kyra have a lighter? She fished in her pockets. Big pockets. She’d had to buy in men’s size just to get pockets that big. 100 years since earth made first contact and women’s clothing still had tiny pockets. What the heck.

The answer, to the lighter question that is, was yes, apparently. She grasped the lighter, took it put of her pocket, and threw it to the woman who had asked for it.

“Kyra White” She said, taking a swig. The drunkness was catching up with her. She was introducing herself to strangers. “And yourself?”

2Bornot2B

 

[2Bornot2B]

Luna
The Shition System
Shition B-still in the bar
She managed to catch it and lit her cigarette before handing it back to Kyra. Luna takes a long drag of the cigarette before blowing out the smoke."It's Midnight to you" The lady opposite lunar is drinking wine. Wine? seriously? Who drinks wine nowadays except old men who listen to the 'Beatles' the thoughts raced around her head.Lunar sits down opposite Kyra and continues smoking the cigarette until it was finished before throwing the stub at an old man.Carelessly Luna put her feet up "so what brings you to this shithole?"
BackSet

 

[BackSet]

Kyra White
Shithole is right
​

Kyra didn’t make any move to take the lighter back. It just sat there on the table. She didn’t need it. She found stuff in her pockets all the time. She didn’t even know how they got there. Once she found a perfectly good copy of mario kart 8 deluxe. The game and the system it was played on had come out a little under 2 centuries ago. Not that that stopped Kyra. She liked the oldies. She was still quoting Star Wars.

“So what brings you to this shithole?” The woman, apparently named midnight, asked.

“Just completed a job.” Kyra replied. “Had to blow the cash somewhere. And I didn’t want to fly all the way to a better planet.”
2Bornot2B

 

[SpaceDandy]

Shition System: Shition B


Thor walked down the street with purpose as he passed street vendors and thugs peppered here and there. Gun shots could be heard in the distance. He had just completed a contract with the local Yakuza Syndicate branch of the Red Dragons. They were tough customers but they had a turf war with the Russian Mob and so they procured Thor's services to “negotiate” a peace. The town was full of rundown buildings and occasionally random assortment of hover vehicles as well as the occasional police hovercopter.

He slowly walked through the “nicer” part of town to the red light district. Right at the edge before you began getting harassed by pimps, hookers, and drug dealers was a rundown building with a blue neon sign flashing that said Engine Grease Bar. It appeared to be the nicest bar right on the edge of the light district, outside of some high end strip clubs. He cautiously made his way to the entrance making sure to note his surroundings. Fortunately his combat armor and helmet filtered out most of the smells however he could still identify the feint smell of smoke, garbage, and human waste.

As Thor approached the door a Thug in a green suit who had come out of the alley near the bar darted for the door in front of Thor and stopped directly in front of the door looking at him. Thor stopped not saying a word to the man. He was much taller and looked far more intimidating than the man with the suit. “You are The Ace of Spades da?” said the suit in a Russian accent. Atlas didn’t need to respond as he knew what the man was after as soon as he came out of the ally.

Thor popped his knuckles and his smile was hidden beneath his helmet. He quickly pivoted to the right brining his right arm back putting his full body weight into the punch and connected with the man’s jaw. The Russian was obviously surprised by the turn of events. Thor heard the sound of bone crunching as the man flew back thru the door saloon style doors the bar hard. The man landed on his back blood and teeth spewed out around him as he lay a good 5 feet past the door in the bar. Thor gingerly walked into the bar. The Russian was out cold.

Thor looked around the room to see various shady characters. He noted a man in the corner booth looking very upset about the blood, teeth, and knocked out Russian on the floor. Two woman at the back table also looked startled by the commotion. The rest of the bar patrons barely paid heed as events light this were common place. A Jukebox in the corner had Jimmy Hendrix’s All Along the Watch Tower playing. Thor noted the place was very clean for such a dive.

He walked over to the bartender and threw some credit chips down. “Sorry about the mess, get me a bottle of Irish Whiskey and a shot glass. Also, nice place you got here pops a lot cleaner then I would have expected.” The bartender didn’t bat an eye at the situation that had just transpired and produced a bottle of Irish whiskey and a shoot glass. “Hey Pan you got a complement on your cleaning and can you take that trash out please?” said the bartender pointing to the knocked out Russian on the floor. Thor took off his helmet and poured himself a shot. He closed his eyes took a deep breath and took a shot of Irish whiskey. “It has been a long day.” He said under his breath.

Chokky malk BackSet 2Bornot2B

 

[2Bornot2B]

Luna
She picks up the lighter and pockets it "I guess I'll keep it then". She ordered another drink "strongest thing again" Luna turned her blue eyes towards Kyra "So what 'jobs' do you do?" Luna suddenly glanced up at the man who had just entered the bar and studies him closely "Hmm" she turns her attention back to the smuggler "you know that guy? He .looks like he means busi-" The door was thrown open and several angry men poured in. Luna hid behind the smuggler "Shit it's them again. Now lady, be a dear and keep quiet, please?" Looking closely at the men they were armed with several SMGs and possibly chambered in 45. acp while wearing just suits there could possibly be body armour underneath .'Damn I guess its no use hiding behind tables' she thought out loud while racking a round into her desert eagle."Lady I'm going to need you to duck down for a bit" The man standing in front of the two men behind him started to talk "We mean no harm. We just want a girl with white hair. If you comply you will not be harmed" Luna whispered "Something tells me that he wants to give this bar a coating of red"
BackSet
Chokky malk
SpaceDandy

 

[Chokky malk]

Pan

While Pan was walking over to clean Russian that had been smeared on the bar floor, he was rudely interrupted by about five angry gun wielding men bursting through the door and demanding the white haired girl sitting at the bar. Pan sees the the men's guns and knows that by the end of this there's going to be a contemporary art piece drawn in blood on the walls, at this point he's starting to get fed up, "Is that all you people know how to do? burst through doors followed by viscera and destruction for me to clean up?", the men look at the janitor puzzled. Pan grasps the mop he had in his hands tightly, "If you guys are gonna fight at least let me have some fun.", he grabs the mop bucket he had on the ground puts it on his head like a helmet. The men start laughing, Pan charges at them, mop in hand, and swings at one of them, the man fall to the ground unconscious, they stop laughing, the room is completely silent for a good ten seconds before it all goes to hell.

BackSet
SpaceDandy
2Bornot2B

 

[BackSet]

Kyra White
Freaking hell?
​

“So what kind of ‘jobs’ do you do?” Midnight asked.

“Smuggling, mostly.” Kyra replied. And then the door burst open. Angry guys filed in. Big buff angry guys with guns and shit. Kyra didn’t really want to get involved but she kind of wanted to help out Midnight. She seemed nice enough. And these guys definitely weren’t the kind of criminal Kyra would associate with, even though she was a criminal herself. She made up her mind. She grabbed her gun and pointed it at the man. It was a mere laser pistol, not very impressive compared to what these guys were packing, but it would do.

“Sorry but Fanfic Girl’s with me.” She said, and shot the guy in the chest. And then all hell broke loose and a guy with a mop joined the fray.

SpaceDandy 2Bornot2B Chokky malk

 

[RubyZoo]

Skyler walked around Shition B, wondering what to do. She decided to head to the bar, tired from doing a days long work. When she walked in, everyone stopped and looked at her. She always gets stares from walking in, being one of the few humans on Shition. Heading straight to the bar tender, he already had her drink ready, gave it to her, Skyler giving him a two coins. Going to a small booth, she sat down and started drinking. Everyone went back to what they were doing, ignoring her.

 

[2Bornot2B]

Luna
Luna stepped out from behind Kyra "Ok Ok guys you got me I surrender"she lets out a smug grin the men stop shooting and point their guns at Luna who puts her hands in the air "I bet you will sell for a load of money when the boss is done with your body" luna steps closer to the man before quickly kicking him in the balls and grabbing the SMG barrels of the other men and points them at the ceiling."Well you did catch me by surprise but yall just too stupid. You'll never beat me" she snatches both of the SMGs from the men and drops her pistol before aiming and firing the SMGs at the men. Luckily the men were in front of the front door so no one got hrt but the floor,ceiling and the door ,which looks like swiss cheese, is drenched in blood. Luna drops both of the SMGs and picks up her pistol,holsters it, and speaks to the Girl drinking at the bar."A bow and arrow? What are you? Legolas? Maybe you are a huge Lord of the Rings fan?" Luna stared at the girl with great curiosity before turning back to the Mop guy and Kyra and takes a sarcastic bow.
RubyZoo

SpaceDandy
Chokky malk
BackSet

 

[RubyZoo]

"I have no idea what you are talking about. Obviously as shown, your skill or sign of weapon is a gun. Mine is a bow and arrow so i wouldn't talk about how pathetic my weapon is." Skyler glares at Luna, always being sensitive about her choice of weapon, being the only comfort to her from when she was a child. She turned her back to Luna and continued to drink.

2Bornot2B

 

[MehIsPotato]

Allison had just finished another shitty job at the shittiest place in the galaxy, Shition B. She needed a drink. She walked in to see numerous people that had gotten in fights, hookers, drug dealers, etc.....

Good to see the place hadn’t changed since she was a kid. She sat down with an exhousted sigh, her dark hair falling in her face. She looked at the bartender. “Gimme something sweet and strong,” she said, stretching her gloved hands. She looked around. Two women at the bar caught her eye for no specific reason. She looked around again. A guy that appeared to have just murdered or knocked someone out also caught her eye.

Her drink soon appeared in front of her, and she chugged, not giving a flying fuck whether or not she was drunk. She had a high tolerance for alcohol, like most people with hard jobs. She crossed her legs in her chair as a particularly drunk man walked up to her.

 

[MehIsPotato]

When she realized the five armed men, she became confused. Bounty hunters? No, normally didn’t go with smgs. Probably someone hunting down someone else. “Bloody Hell...why does this always happen when I go to bars?” She asked herself outloud. The bar tender was talking the men, and Alli sighed heavily when she realized that shit was about to hit the fan, the girl with white hair that she assumed they were looking for stepped out. She put a hand on her blaster gun, brows furrowed.

 

[2Bornot2B]

Luna
Luna looks at the Bow and arrow girl confused 'why would she have a bow and arrow? Is she a caveman?' she just pondered before sitting back down next to Kyra. Luna looks at the other lady at the bar "Hey Lady I think they are" Luna raises her pistol and shoots one of the corpses on the floor "Dead"."Ugh i got blood all over my clothes and it aint gonna come out too."
MehIsPotato
RubyZoo

 

[MehIsPotato]

Her eyes nearly shot to the girl who had spoken. She let out a quiet sigh. “Mk.” she ordered another round of the same drink, waiting for the man to talk to her. Of course. He touched her first. She knew where it was going, and there was no way in hell she was letting this guy try to. She kicked him off of her and slowly drunk the next drink. 2Bornot2B

 

[2Bornot2B]

Luna
Luna pointed the gun at the back of the man's head "Id rather not give that little girl a fresh coating of your blood buuuut"
MehIsPotato

 

[Chokky malk]

Pan

Pan looks at the mess "well that was interesting", then he sighs, "i'll clean that up tomorrow". In the meantime he goes to the bar to calm his nerves, he sits down, now the bar is looking pretty filled, and orders a root beer. He looks around at the rag tag looking group of people sitting at the bar and says to no one in particular "well how are your days going? cuz mine has not been that great."

 

[RubyZoo]

Skyler rolls her eyes at Luna. "Well at least I have the sense of when the proper time to use it is." she walked away from her but not to far. She kept an eye on Luna, suspicious of her actions

 

[2Bornot2B]

Luna
"Yeah, my day is pretty shite. I got my new trench jacket covered in blood already. That Legolas lady comes in here often Mr janitor?."Luna dragged herself to the bartender and mumbled "the usual" while staring outside the door
RubyZoo

 

[MehIsPotato]

Alli smiled with a quiet laugh under her breath. “thanks sweetheart, but I can handle myself.” She looked at the man who had asked all of these shady people how their day was. Was he insane by chance. “Not horrible. I mean, not WHOOPDY DO MY DAY WAS FANTASTIC, but not horrible.” She turned around in her seat to make sure the man wasn’t getting up. He wasn’t, and Alli just sighed into the drink.
RubyZoo 2Bornot2B
Chokky malk

 

[RubyZoo]

Skyler got up and took her cup over to another bar tender. She immediately got it filled up with alcohol and once again started drinking. She sighed as she was next to Alli. She laughed to herself

 

[MehIsPotato]

Alli looked up over at Skyler. A sudden new person. She was uncomfortable. “And who are you?” She asked, her expression straight. She took another drink. Was she drunk? No, probably not.
RubyZoo

 

[RubyZoo]

"My name is Skyler. Who might you be?" she asked, giving away no hint of any emotion. She took another sip and looked at Alli