1000+ Ways to get kicked out of Walmart

[_Chrysanthemum_]

Start yelling that Walmart is fake and it's all an illusion. Urge random shoppers to break through the spell. Optional: hold an employee at gunpoint while screaming at them to confess to it all being an illusion.

 

[Firelie]

GO TO THE MEAT SECTION. UNPACKAGE ALL THE MEAT AND THROW IT TO THE GROUND. SAY THE ANCIENT INCANTATION AND WATCH AS THE M E A T M A N RISES. ASSIMILATE. SHOW THE OTHER SHOPPERS THE WILL OF THE GUT. ASSIMILATE. DOMINATE THE WALMART UNTIL THE COPS SHOW UP. SAVOR THE SWERT MOMENTS OF DIVINITY.

 

[riverlightning]

268: chuck a bowling ball at all of the glass displays in the electronics section

 

[Beetlebuggo]

269: Burn all of the toilet paper on every shelf and in the storage area.

 

[RulerOfChad]

270: Live inside of the ceiling and slowly eat all of the insulation and spit in down onto the produce and meat areas.

 

[Superfly47]

271: Buy a $100 item with pennies, count each penny one at a time. Each time the cashier says something, you start counting over.

 

[RulerOfChad]

272: Every day go back to the store and open up all of the sealed bags and but insects inside them before resealing them.

 

[_Chrysanthemum_]

273: Find a large bag of skittles and throw handfuls in people's faces, repeatedly yelling "taste the rainbow".

 

[RulerOfChad]

274: Get hired by the store, go up the ranks until you own the entire chain, instil yourself as manager of the store you worked at originally whilst still being owner of the company. Have a very strange and one sided yelling match at yourself because the manager thinks that the customer (Which is you) is high on drugs (Which you are) and then eventually kick yourself out of the store, is anyone going to do anything about it? No, You own the fucking place.

 

[Venchi1986]

275: Start a campfire

 

[Superfly47]

276: Die. (Walmart won't leave a dead body in the store)

 

[sullen]

277: Convince the local population that there is a god living inside the soup aisle and form a cult around it. Hire a guy to dress up like the Campbell's soup can and claim that he's god and needs to be brought offerings of Walmart spoons and bowls. Make sure your performance isn't too good or else the employees might join your cult.

 

[RulerOfChad]

278: paint your skin to make you look like a chair and then sit in one of the chairs full sherlock holmes style until you eventually starve to death, then when someone 50 years in the future decides to try out the chair they sit on a decomposed corpse. You body is then thrown out, you are cremated and your family has a funeral because you were missing for 50 years, your children have their own children now.

 

[Venchi1986]

279: Dump all the candy on the floor and swim in it like Scrooge McDuck and his money

 

[FloofWhispers]

280: Go in a fursuit and scream in the stuffed toy aisle, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CHILDREN"

 

[Ezina-Kusu]

300: secretly try to live rent free in a tent display in the outdoor activities section. Hide in the tent all day then emerge at night for 'free' food and to give yourself sink baths.

 

[RulerOfChad]

301: Skip 281-299 Lol

 

[Firelie]

320: disobey the laws of list making

 

[Ezina-Kusu]

321: obey them again with no explanation of your past actions

 

[RulerOfChad]

325: Be a hypocrite

 

[Firelie]

340: ESCALATE

 

[RulerOfChad]

3400: x10

 

[Stricken Steel]

341: Throw a rubber pellet-filled monke onto the floor and say someone broke it, because it looks like a pancake.

 

[LORD SHAXX]

342: start yelling your pregnant and piss on the Electronics

 

[Ezina-Kusu]

300: make sure there really ARE 1000+ ways to get kicked out of Walmart by going back to your mistake and counting on to find the true number of ways