Futuristic You are a Space Marine... in Space! (With images)

[Dalamus Ulom]

The Actual Pimps of Actually Satan

 

[Archdemon]

Okay, so all of us agree on bribing the Deamon and making friends with it. But what about the gang-cult name? Can we agree on that?
Captain Gabriel Rin Nyx Archdemon Alteras HTCOR Dalamus Ulom TheCountryWarrior

If we can't decide then I'll just say The Pimps.

 

[TheCountryWarrior]

We are CLEARLY called the Actualy Really for Real Satan Pimps.

What!? These fools think a Greater Daemon of Slaanesh is a problem?! It's got 20 dicks, 27 vaginas, and a cocain addiction like no mortal or immortal has ever seen on this side of the Milky Way! We are CLEARLY going to make friends with it! Besides, it's got excellent taste in music.

That is definitely our name.

 

[Birdsie]

I think I'll just write: "They never agreed on a name."

 

[HTCOR]

I think I'll just write: "They never agreed on a name."

Exactly.

 

[Dalamus Ulom]

I think I'll just write: "They never agreed on a name."

Two votes for my original idea means we are the Actually Really for Real Satan Pimps

 

[Birdsie]

Captain Gabriel Rin Nyx Archdemon Alteras HTCOR Dalamus Ulom TheCountryWarrior

Your gang-cult's safety is a pressing matter. They never agreed on a name. Some call you the Pimps. Others call you the Devils. The most common, and your favorite name, however, is: Actually Really for Real Satan Pimps, or for short The Actual Pimps of the Actually Satan. You still wonder to this day how many kilograms of cocaine you ingested while thinking these up. Actually, fuck it. You don't wonder. You write scientific hypotheses about it.

"So what? You're treating a Greater Deamon of Slaanesh like it's a problem. We should bribe it. " You turn your head back and yell. "Shinrei, prepare one-hundred kilograms of freshly picked cocaine and a virgin cultist as a sacrifice to the daemon!"

Shinrei nods and runs off to the forklift and loads several crates of cocaine onto it, before moving them elsewhere in the supposed direction of the daemon's lair. You follow in his tracks alongside with a group of gangers.

"Come out, come out whereveeer you are!" You call out to the daemon hiding in the darkness. "We have crack, you whore!" you yell like a proper mafia member. You hit the chest of cocaine, opening a hole in it. Several kilograms of cocaine instantly pour out onto the ground. You briefly rise your helmet and get a taste of it. Morning cocaine never hurts.

Soon enough, you hear a beastly screech. You look back and see the creature in all its awe, glory, and... it's so big.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
SCENE DELETED FOR INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

You slowly return to your room, completely smashed. The daemon sure knows how to party. Shinrei is following in your tracks, his face covered in cocaine. Weird. You thought he didn't like the stuff. Now he's taken half your dose.

As you approach your room, you hear a blip on your vox. "Argh, what now?!"

1. Pick it up. It might be important.
2. Ignore it.

Stat-Screen:

Spoiler

Ship Status:
Name: Thunderlight Mk. I
Fuel: 100%
Krak Missiles: 4/4
Assault Cannon: 585/600
Speed: 650km/h (2000km/h with Boosters online.)
Damage: N/A

Wounds: N/A

Relationships:
Shinrei: 50
Sarah: 0
The God-Emperor: 10
Sanguinius: 0
The Dark Gods of Chaos: 40
- Tzeentch: 2.5
- Slaanesh: 2.5
- Khorne: 2.5
- Nurgle: 2.5
- Satan: 30

Statistics:
Weapon Skill: 46
Ballistic Skill: 53
Strength: 62
Toughness: 62
Agility: 45
Intelligence: 36
Perception: 35
Willpower: 48
Fellowship: 41

Influence: 15 - A leading force in planetary politics, a factor in system politics
Fame: 9 - Known in the star system
Infamy: 5 - Negative rumors are widespread

Corruption: 10
Insanity: 45

Inventory:

D-64 Storm Bolter
A powerful weapon that fires bolts. Bolts are special bullets propelled via a charge on the back that can penetrate armor easily thanks to their diamantine tips. They have a half-second charge that causes them to explode once they are past the enemy's armor. They are incredibly destructive weapons that can tear enemies apart with one barrage. The Storm Bolter is a deadly weapon of massive, increased firepower that can manage to fire 3 bolts per second making it much deadlier.
Rate of fire: 1Bolt/0.3s.
Damage: Huge.
Magazine: 30/30 Bolts.

Mark VI. Chainsword
A large sword with an engine and a roaring mechanical blade. The chained teeth of this sword have diamantine tips that lets it tear through armor like a knife through butter.
Fuel: 15/15 Minutes.

Fuel Tank
A fuel tank that may be used in a Flamer, Chainsword, or even in vehicles. WARNING: Contains unstable Promethium.

240 Bolts (Ammo)

Pimp-Staff
A, probably magical, a conduit of spatial forces that lets you unleash deadly pimp energies onto your opponents like arcane blasts. The Pimp-Staff stores 5000 prana points in it and recharges 500 each hour automatically. Shooting a pimp blast costs 100 prana points.
Pimp Energy: 4900/5000

Fanoros Fictionomicon (Currently in Shinrei's Hold)
A puzzling tome of magecraft of unknown origin that contains arcane and esoteric mysteries not meant for the eyes of mortal men or gods.

Mark VII. Aquila Power Armor (Unpainted) (Pimped Out)
A durable example of Imperial engineering. This power armor enhances the wearer's strength and endurance beyond what is normally possible, but can only be worn by trained personnel like space marines. It also contains auto-senses in the helmet and other features, but it requires to be powered with electricity. The battery can be found on the back and is somewhat large, therefore leaving the wearer exposed to sneak attacks.

50kg of Cocaine
Ah, yes! The finest substance in the galaxy. This little collection of white powdered dust helps you get through the day and dull your senses until you can no longer think.

1.5 Liters of Blood (Low-Quality) (w/ Cocaine)
Taken from a dead Imperial servitor, this blood may be used for a variety of purposes; rituals, feeding vampires or perhaps drinking. Still, it is of low quality as servitors don't need blood. It is overflowing with chemicals and is very unpleasant in both taste and consistency. Kept in a small tube. This mixture has been laced with visible traces of cocaine.

Plasma Pistol
A sidearm that shoots heated hydrogen bolts at temperatures above 7 thousand degrees Celsius. These bolts quickly pressurize into plasma and a foe in heavy armor will be badly damaged from just one shot.
Rate of fire: 1PlasBolt/1s.
Damage: Devastating.
Magazine: 15/15 Hydrogen Shots

Frag Grenades (2)
An explosive grenade that explodes 5 seconds after the pin is pulled. Deals decent damage against all opponents.

Krak Grenades (2)
Special grenades designed to work against vehicles. One is more than enough to disable a medium-sized tank of moderate armor.

Prana: 1700/1700

 

[TheCountryWarrior]

The work of a Pimp is never done. 1.

 

[Birdsie]

Captain Gabriel Rin Nyx Archdemon Alteras HTCOR Dalamus Ulom TheCountryWarrior

Your gang-cult's safety is a pressing matter. They never agreed on a name. Some call you the Pimps. Others call you the Devils. The most common, and your favorite name, however, is: Actually Really for Real Satan Pimps, or for short The Actual Pimps of the Actually Satan. You still wonder to this day how many kilograms of cocaine you ingested while thinking these up. Actually, fuck it. You don't wonder. You write scientific hypotheses about it.

"So what? You're treating a Greater Deamon of Slaanesh like it's a problem. We should bribe it. " You turn your head back and yell. "Shinrei, prepare one-hundred kilograms of freshly picked cocaine and a virgin cultist as a sacrifice to the daemon!"

Shinrei nods and runs off to the forklift and loads several crates of cocaine onto it, before moving them elsewhere in the supposed direction of the daemon's lair. You follow in his tracks alongside with a group of gangers.

"Come out, come out whereveeer you are!" You call out to the daemon hiding in the darkness. "We have crack, you whore!" you yell like a proper mafia member. You hit the chest of cocaine, opening a hole in it. Several kilograms of cocaine instantly pour out onto the ground. You briefly rise your helmet and get a taste of it. Morning cocaine never hurts.

Soon enough, you hear a beastly screech. You look back and see the creature in all its awe, glory, and... it's so big.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
SCENE DELETED FOR INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

You slowly return to your room, completely smashed. The daemon sure knows how to party. Shinrei is following in your tracks, his face covered in cocaine. Weird. You thought he didn't like the stuff. Now he's taken half your dose.

As you approach your room, you hear a blip on your vox. "Argh, what now?!"

1. Pick it up. It might be important.
2. Ignore it.

Stat-Screen:

Spoiler

Ship Status:
Name: Thunderlight Mk. I
Fuel: 100%
Krak Missiles: 4/4
Assault Cannon: 585/600
Speed: 650km/h (2000km/h with Boosters online.)
Damage: N/A

Wounds: N/A

Relationships:
Shinrei: 50
Sarah: 0
The God-Emperor: 10
Sanguinius: 0
The Dark Gods of Chaos: 40
- Tzeentch: 2.5
- Slaanesh: 2.5
- Khorne: 2.5
- Nurgle: 2.5
- Satan: 30

Statistics:
Weapon Skill: 46
Ballistic Skill: 53
Strength: 62
Toughness: 62
Agility: 45
Intelligence: 36
Perception: 35
Willpower: 48
Fellowship: 41

Influence: 15 - A leading force in planetary politics, a factor in system politics
Fame: 9 - Known in the star system
Infamy: 5 - Negative rumors are widespread

Corruption: 10
Insanity: 45

Inventory:

D-64 Storm Bolter
A powerful weapon that fires bolts. Bolts are special bullets propelled via a charge on the back that can penetrate armor easily thanks to their diamantine tips. They have a half-second charge that causes them to explode once they are past the enemy's armor. They are incredibly destructive weapons that can tear enemies apart with one barrage. The Storm Bolter is a deadly weapon of massive, increased firepower that can manage to fire 3 bolts per second making it much deadlier.
Rate of fire: 1Bolt/0.3s.
Damage: Huge.
Magazine: 30/30 Bolts.

Mark VI. Chainsword
A large sword with an engine and a roaring mechanical blade. The chained teeth of this sword have diamantine tips that lets it tear through armor like a knife through butter.
Fuel: 15/15 Minutes.

Fuel Tank
A fuel tank that may be used in a Flamer, Chainsword, or even in vehicles. WARNING: Contains unstable Promethium.

240 Bolts (Ammo)

Pimp-Staff
A, probably magical, a conduit of spatial forces that lets you unleash deadly pimp energies onto your opponents like arcane blasts. The Pimp-Staff stores 5000 prana points in it and recharges 500 each hour automatically. Shooting a pimp blast costs 100 prana points.
Pimp Energy: 4900/5000

Fanoros Fictionomicon (Currently in Shinrei's Hold)
A puzzling tome of magecraft of unknown origin that contains arcane and esoteric mysteries not meant for the eyes of mortal men or gods.

Mark VII. Aquila Power Armor (Unpainted) (Pimped Out)
A durable example of Imperial engineering. This power armor enhances the wearer's strength and endurance beyond what is normally possible, but can only be worn by trained personnel like space marines. It also contains auto-senses in the helmet and other features, but it requires to be powered with electricity. The battery can be found on the back and is somewhat large, therefore leaving the wearer exposed to sneak attacks.

50kg of Cocaine
Ah, yes! The finest substance in the galaxy. This little collection of white powdered dust helps you get through the day and dull your senses until you can no longer think.

1.5 Liters of Blood (Low-Quality) (w/ Cocaine)
Taken from a dead Imperial servitor, this blood may be used for a variety of purposes; rituals, feeding vampires or perhaps drinking. Still, it is of low quality as servitors don't need blood. It is overflowing with chemicals and is very unpleasant in both taste and consistency. Kept in a small tube. This mixture has been laced with visible traces of cocaine.

Plasma Pistol
A sidearm that shoots heated hydrogen bolts at temperatures above 7 thousand degrees Celsius. These bolts quickly pressurize into plasma and a foe in heavy armor will be badly damaged from just one shot.
Rate of fire: 1PlasBolt/1s.
Damage: Devastating.
Magazine: 15/15 Hydrogen Shots

Frag Grenades (2)
An explosive grenade that explodes 5 seconds after the pin is pulled. Deals decent damage against all opponents.

Krak Grenades (2)
Special grenades designed to work against vehicles. One is more than enough to disable a medium-sized tank of moderate armor.

Prana: 1700/1700

I'll say this much:

 

[HTCOR]

1.

We must answer those who answer to the King- I mean the Pimp Lord.

 

[Dalamus Ulom]

Captain Gabriel Rin Nyx Archdemon Alteras HTCOR Dalamus Ulom TheCountryWarrior

Your gang-cult's safety is a pressing matter. They never agreed on a name. Some call you the Pimps. Others call you the Devils. The most common, and your favorite name, however, is: Actually Really for Real Satan Pimps, or for short The Actual Pimps of the Actually Satan. You still wonder to this day how many kilograms of cocaine you ingested while thinking these up. Actually, fuck it. You don't wonder. You write scientific hypotheses about it.

"So what? You're treating a Greater Deamon of Slaanesh like it's a problem. We should bribe it. " You turn your head back and yell. "Shinrei, prepare one-hundred kilograms of freshly picked cocaine and a virgin cultist as a sacrifice to the daemon!"

Shinrei nods and runs off to the forklift and loads several crates of cocaine onto it, before moving them elsewhere in the supposed direction of the daemon's lair. You follow in his tracks alongside with a group of gangers.

"Come out, come out whereveeer you are!" You call out to the daemon hiding in the darkness. "We have crack, you whore!" you yell like a proper mafia member. You hit the chest of cocaine, opening a hole in it. Several kilograms of cocaine instantly pour out onto the ground. You briefly rise your helmet and get a taste of it. Morning cocaine never hurts.

Soon enough, you hear a beastly screech. You look back and see the creature in all its awe, glory, and... it's so big.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
SCENE DELETED FOR INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

You slowly return to your room, completely smashed. The daemon sure knows how to party. Shinrei is following in your tracks, his face covered in cocaine. Weird. You thought he didn't like the stuff. Now he's taken half your dose.

As you approach your room, you hear a blip on your vox. "Argh, what now?!"

1. Pick it up. It might be important.
2. Ignore it.

Stat-Screen:

Spoiler

Ship Status:
Name: Thunderlight Mk. I
Fuel: 100%
Krak Missiles: 4/4
Assault Cannon: 585/600
Speed: 650km/h (2000km/h with Boosters online.)
Damage: N/A

Wounds: N/A

Relationships:
Shinrei: 50
Sarah: 0
The God-Emperor: 10
Sanguinius: 0
The Dark Gods of Chaos: 40
- Tzeentch: 2.5
- Slaanesh: 2.5
- Khorne: 2.5
- Nurgle: 2.5
- Satan: 30

Statistics:
Weapon Skill: 46
Ballistic Skill: 53
Strength: 62
Toughness: 62
Agility: 45
Intelligence: 36
Perception: 35
Willpower: 48
Fellowship: 41

Influence: 15 - A leading force in planetary politics, a factor in system politics
Fame: 9 - Known in the star system
Infamy: 5 - Negative rumors are widespread

Corruption: 10
Insanity: 45

Inventory:

D-64 Storm Bolter
A powerful weapon that fires bolts. Bolts are special bullets propelled via a charge on the back that can penetrate armor easily thanks to their diamantine tips. They have a half-second charge that causes them to explode once they are past the enemy's armor. They are incredibly destructive weapons that can tear enemies apart with one barrage. The Storm Bolter is a deadly weapon of massive, increased firepower that can manage to fire 3 bolts per second making it much deadlier.
Rate of fire: 1Bolt/0.3s.
Damage: Huge.
Magazine: 30/30 Bolts.

Mark VI. Chainsword
A large sword with an engine and a roaring mechanical blade. The chained teeth of this sword have diamantine tips that lets it tear through armor like a knife through butter.
Fuel: 15/15 Minutes.

Fuel Tank
A fuel tank that may be used in a Flamer, Chainsword, or even in vehicles. WARNING: Contains unstable Promethium.

240 Bolts (Ammo)

Pimp-Staff
A, probably magical, a conduit of spatial forces that lets you unleash deadly pimp energies onto your opponents like arcane blasts. The Pimp-Staff stores 5000 prana points in it and recharges 500 each hour automatically. Shooting a pimp blast costs 100 prana points.
Pimp Energy: 4900/5000

Fanoros Fictionomicon (Currently in Shinrei's Hold)
A puzzling tome of magecraft of unknown origin that contains arcane and esoteric mysteries not meant for the eyes of mortal men or gods.

Mark VII. Aquila Power Armor (Unpainted) (Pimped Out)
A durable example of Imperial engineering. This power armor enhances the wearer's strength and endurance beyond what is normally possible, but can only be worn by trained personnel like space marines. It also contains auto-senses in the helmet and other features, but it requires to be powered with electricity. The battery can be found on the back and is somewhat large, therefore leaving the wearer exposed to sneak attacks.

50kg of Cocaine
Ah, yes! The finest substance in the galaxy. This little collection of white powdered dust helps you get through the day and dull your senses until you can no longer think.

1.5 Liters of Blood (Low-Quality) (w/ Cocaine)
Taken from a dead Imperial servitor, this blood may be used for a variety of purposes; rituals, feeding vampires or perhaps drinking. Still, it is of low quality as servitors don't need blood. It is overflowing with chemicals and is very unpleasant in both taste and consistency. Kept in a small tube. This mixture has been laced with visible traces of cocaine.

Plasma Pistol
A sidearm that shoots heated hydrogen bolts at temperatures above 7 thousand degrees Celsius. These bolts quickly pressurize into plasma and a foe in heavy armor will be badly damaged from just one shot.
Rate of fire: 1PlasBolt/1s.
Damage: Devastating.
Magazine: 15/15 Hydrogen Shots

Frag Grenades (2)
An explosive grenade that explodes 5 seconds after the pin is pulled. Deals decent damage against all opponents.

Krak Grenades (2)
Special grenades designed to work against vehicles. One is more than enough to disable a medium-sized tank of moderate armor.

Prana: 1700/1700

Pick it up. After we snort some of the cocaine covering Shinrei's face, though.

 

[Archdemon]

Phone call: 1. Cause why not. I hope that daemon had a good time like us...

Playing Chess! What? You thought we would Fuck it? Nah we ain't gonna show you a chess game, that shit is boring.

 

[Rin Nyx]

Captain Gabriel Rin Nyx Archdemon Alteras HTCOR Dalamus Ulom TheCountryWarrior

Your gang-cult's safety is a pressing matter. They never agreed on a name. Some call you the Pimps. Others call you the Devils. The most common, and your favorite name, however, is: Actually Really for Real Satan Pimps, or for short The Actual Pimps of the Actually Satan. You still wonder to this day how many kilograms of cocaine you ingested while thinking these up. Actually, fuck it. You don't wonder. You write scientific hypotheses about it.

"So what? You're treating a Greater Deamon of Slaanesh like it's a problem. We should bribe it. " You turn your head back and yell. "Shinrei, prepare one-hundred kilograms of freshly picked cocaine and a virgin cultist as a sacrifice to the daemon!"

Shinrei nods and runs off to the forklift and loads several crates of cocaine onto it, before moving them elsewhere in the supposed direction of the daemon's lair. You follow in his tracks alongside with a group of gangers.

"Come out, come out whereveeer you are!" You call out to the daemon hiding in the darkness. "We have crack, you whore!" you yell like a proper mafia member. You hit the chest of cocaine, opening a hole in it. Several kilograms of cocaine instantly pour out onto the ground. You briefly rise your helmet and get a taste of it. Morning cocaine never hurts.

Soon enough, you hear a beastly screech. You look back and see the creature in all its awe, glory, and... it's so big.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
SCENE DELETED FOR INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

You slowly return to your room, completely smashed. The daemon sure knows how to party. Shinrei is following in your tracks, his face covered in cocaine. Weird. You thought he didn't like the stuff. Now he's taken half your dose.

As you approach your room, you hear a blip on your vox. "Argh, what now?!"

1. Pick it up. It might be important.
2. Ignore it.

Stat-Screen:

Spoiler

Ship Status:
Name: Thunderlight Mk. I
Fuel: 100%
Krak Missiles: 4/4
Assault Cannon: 585/600
Speed: 650km/h (2000km/h with Boosters online.)
Damage: N/A

Wounds: N/A

Relationships:
Shinrei: 50
Sarah: 0
The God-Emperor: 10
Sanguinius: 0
The Dark Gods of Chaos: 40
- Tzeentch: 2.5
- Slaanesh: 2.5
- Khorne: 2.5
- Nurgle: 2.5
- Satan: 30

Statistics:
Weapon Skill: 46
Ballistic Skill: 53
Strength: 62
Toughness: 62
Agility: 45
Intelligence: 36
Perception: 35
Willpower: 48
Fellowship: 41

Influence: 15 - A leading force in planetary politics, a factor in system politics
Fame: 9 - Known in the star system
Infamy: 5 - Negative rumors are widespread

Corruption: 10
Insanity: 45

Inventory:

D-64 Storm Bolter
A powerful weapon that fires bolts. Bolts are special bullets propelled via a charge on the back that can penetrate armor easily thanks to their diamantine tips. They have a half-second charge that causes them to explode once they are past the enemy's armor. They are incredibly destructive weapons that can tear enemies apart with one barrage. The Storm Bolter is a deadly weapon of massive, increased firepower that can manage to fire 3 bolts per second making it much deadlier.
Rate of fire: 1Bolt/0.3s.
Damage: Huge.
Magazine: 30/30 Bolts.

Mark VI. Chainsword
A large sword with an engine and a roaring mechanical blade. The chained teeth of this sword have diamantine tips that lets it tear through armor like a knife through butter.
Fuel: 15/15 Minutes.

Fuel Tank
A fuel tank that may be used in a Flamer, Chainsword, or even in vehicles. WARNING: Contains unstable Promethium.

240 Bolts (Ammo)

Pimp-Staff
A, probably magical, a conduit of spatial forces that lets you unleash deadly pimp energies onto your opponents like arcane blasts. The Pimp-Staff stores 5000 prana points in it and recharges 500 each hour automatically. Shooting a pimp blast costs 100 prana points.
Pimp Energy: 4900/5000

Fanoros Fictionomicon (Currently in Shinrei's Hold)
A puzzling tome of magecraft of unknown origin that contains arcane and esoteric mysteries not meant for the eyes of mortal men or gods.

Mark VII. Aquila Power Armor (Unpainted) (Pimped Out)
A durable example of Imperial engineering. This power armor enhances the wearer's strength and endurance beyond what is normally possible, but can only be worn by trained personnel like space marines. It also contains auto-senses in the helmet and other features, but it requires to be powered with electricity. The battery can be found on the back and is somewhat large, therefore leaving the wearer exposed to sneak attacks.

50kg of Cocaine
Ah, yes! The finest substance in the galaxy. This little collection of white powdered dust helps you get through the day and dull your senses until you can no longer think.

1.5 Liters of Blood (Low-Quality) (w/ Cocaine)
Taken from a dead Imperial servitor, this blood may be used for a variety of purposes; rituals, feeding vampires or perhaps drinking. Still, it is of low quality as servitors don't need blood. It is overflowing with chemicals and is very unpleasant in both taste and consistency. Kept in a small tube. This mixture has been laced with visible traces of cocaine.

Plasma Pistol
A sidearm that shoots heated hydrogen bolts at temperatures above 7 thousand degrees Celsius. These bolts quickly pressurize into plasma and a foe in heavy armor will be badly damaged from just one shot.
Rate of fire: 1PlasBolt/1s.
Damage: Devastating.
Magazine: 15/15 Hydrogen Shots

Frag Grenades (2)
An explosive grenade that explodes 5 seconds after the pin is pulled. Deals decent damage against all opponents.

Krak Grenades (2)
Special grenades designed to work against vehicles. One is more than enough to disable a medium-sized tank of moderate armor.

Prana: 1700/1700

1. But only so we can question them intensely about why they want to steal our gnomes! (They could be fairy spies!)

 

[Dalamus Ulom]

Phone call: 1. Cause why not. I hope that daemon had a good time like us...

Playing Chess! What? You thought we would Fuck it? Nah we ain't gonna show you a chess game, that shit is boring.

Sexual Strip Chess! What? It was a bloody Greater Daemon of Slaanesh with 20 dicks and 27 vaginas with a more severe addiction to cocaine than any mortal or immortal has ever seen on this side of the Milky Way! What else did you expect? A cup of tea?

 

[Birdsie]

Captain Gabriel Rin Nyx Archdemon Alteras HTCOR Dalamus Ulom TheCountryWarrior

You decide to pick up the call after several seconds of snorting cocaine from Shinrei's half-conscious face. You click the button on your left wrist and you hear a voice speak to you from the other side. It is one of your main lieutenants in the gang.

"Master! Dark elves are stealing your gnomes!"

"Shit. Really?" You ask, completely befuddled.

"No, I'm just joking." The lieutenant denies the claim. The two of you share a brief laugh.

"Well, either way," he starts, on a new topic. "The local ork tribes want to hire us for an expedition underground. There is some ancient forge underground with lots of weapons and armor. If we participate, we get half of the spoils, several old pieces of space marine power armor they scavenged, some money, and a bunch of orkish soldiers at your disposal."

1. Accept.
2. Deny.

Stat-Screen:

Spoiler

Ship Status:
Name: Thunderlight Mk. I
Fuel: 100%
Krak Missiles: 4/4
Assault Cannon: 585/600
Speed: 650km/h (2000km/h with Boosters online.)
Damage: N/A

Wounds: N/A

Relationships:
Shinrei: 50
Sarah: 0
The God-Emperor: 10
Sanguinius: 0
The Dark Gods of Chaos: 40
- Tzeentch: 2.5
- Slaanesh: 2.5
- Khorne: 2.5
- Nurgle: 2.5
- Satan: 30

Statistics:
Weapon Skill: 46
Ballistic Skill: 53
Strength: 62
Toughness: 62
Agility: 45
Intelligence: 36
Perception: 35
Willpower: 48
Fellowship: 41

Influence: 15 - A leading force in planetary politics, a factor in system politics
Fame: 9 - Known in the star system
Infamy: 5 - Negative rumors are widespread

Corruption: 10
Insanity: 45

Inventory:

D-64 Storm Bolter
A powerful weapon that fires bolts. Bolts are special bullets propelled via a charge on the back that can penetrate armor easily thanks to their diamantine tips. They have a half-second charge that causes them to explode once they are past the enemy's armor. They are incredibly destructive weapons that can tear enemies apart with one barrage. The Storm Bolter is a deadly weapon of massive, increased firepower that can manage to fire 3 bolts per second making it much deadlier.
Rate of fire: 1Bolt/0.3s.
Damage: Huge.
Magazine: 30/30 Bolts.

Mark VI. Chainsword
A large sword with an engine and a roaring mechanical blade. The chained teeth of this sword have diamantine tips that lets it tear through armor like a knife through butter.
Fuel: 15/15 Minutes.

Fuel Tank
A fuel tank that may be used in a Flamer, Chainsword, or even in vehicles. WARNING: Contains unstable Promethium.

240 Bolts (Ammo)

Pimp-Staff
A, probably magical, a conduit of spatial forces that lets you unleash deadly pimp energies onto your opponents like arcane blasts. The Pimp-Staff stores 5000 prana points in it and recharges 500 each hour automatically. Shooting a pimp blast costs 100 prana points.
Pimp Energy: 4900/5000

Fanoros Fictionomicon (Currently in Shinrei's Hold)
A puzzling tome of magecraft of unknown origin that contains arcane and esoteric mysteries not meant for the eyes of mortal men or gods.

Mark VII. Aquila Power Armor (Unpainted) (Pimped Out)
A durable example of Imperial engineering. This power armor enhances the wearer's strength and endurance beyond what is normally possible, but can only be worn by trained personnel like space marines. It also contains auto-senses in the helmet and other features, but it requires to be powered with electricity. The battery can be found on the back and is somewhat large, therefore leaving the wearer exposed to sneak attacks.

50kg of Cocaine
Ah, yes! The finest substance in the galaxy. This little collection of white powdered dust helps you get through the day and dull your senses until you can no longer think.

1.5 Liters of Blood (Low-Quality) (w/ Cocaine)
Taken from a dead Imperial servitor, this blood may be used for a variety of purposes; rituals, feeding vampires or perhaps drinking. Still, it is of low quality as servitors don't need blood. It is overflowing with chemicals and is very unpleasant in both taste and consistency. Kept in a small tube. This mixture has been laced with visible traces of cocaine.

Plasma Pistol
A sidearm that shoots heated hydrogen bolts at temperatures above 7 thousand degrees Celsius. These bolts quickly pressurize into plasma and a foe in heavy armor will be badly damaged from just one shot.
Rate of fire: 1PlasBolt/1s.
Damage: Devastating.
Magazine: 15/15 Hydrogen Shots

Frag Grenades (2)
An explosive grenade that explodes 5 seconds after the pin is pulled. Deals decent damage against all opponents.

Krak Grenades (2)
Special grenades designed to work against vehicles. One is more than enough to disable a medium-sized tank of moderate armor.

Prana: 1700/1700

 

[Archdemon]

Offer: 1. Accept, but be prepared to subjugate and make them your slaves! But if the chance doesn't come up its good to have allies.

 

[Dalamus Ulom]

Captain Gabriel Rin Nyx Archdemon Alteras HTCOR Dalamus Ulom TheCountryWarrior

You decide to pick up the call after several seconds of snorting cocaine from Shinrei's half-conscious face. You click the button on your left wrist and you hear a voice speak to you from the other side. It is one of your main lieutenants in the gang.

"Master! Dark elves are stealing your gnomes!"

"Shit. Really?" You ask, completely befuddled.

"No, I'm just joking." The lieutenant denies the claim. The two of you share a brief laugh.

"Well, either way," he starts, on a new topic. "The local ork tribes want to hire us for an expedition underground. There is some ancient forge underground with lots of weapons and armor. If we participate, we get half of the spoils, several old pieces of space marine power armor they scavenged, some money, and a bunch of orkish soldiers at your disposal."

1. Accept.
2. Deny.

Stat-Screen:

Spoiler

Ship Status:
Name: Thunderlight Mk. I
Fuel: 100%
Krak Missiles: 4/4
Assault Cannon: 585/600
Speed: 650km/h (2000km/h with Boosters online.)
Damage: N/A

Wounds: N/A

Relationships:
Shinrei: 50
Sarah: 0
The God-Emperor: 10
Sanguinius: 0
The Dark Gods of Chaos: 40
- Tzeentch: 2.5
- Slaanesh: 2.5
- Khorne: 2.5
- Nurgle: 2.5
- Satan: 30

Statistics:
Weapon Skill: 46
Ballistic Skill: 53
Strength: 62
Toughness: 62
Agility: 45
Intelligence: 36
Perception: 35
Willpower: 48
Fellowship: 41

Influence: 15 - A leading force in planetary politics, a factor in system politics
Fame: 9 - Known in the star system
Infamy: 5 - Negative rumors are widespread

Corruption: 10
Insanity: 45

Inventory:

D-64 Storm Bolter
A powerful weapon that fires bolts. Bolts are special bullets propelled via a charge on the back that can penetrate armor easily thanks to their diamantine tips. They have a half-second charge that causes them to explode once they are past the enemy's armor. They are incredibly destructive weapons that can tear enemies apart with one barrage. The Storm Bolter is a deadly weapon of massive, increased firepower that can manage to fire 3 bolts per second making it much deadlier.
Rate of fire: 1Bolt/0.3s.
Damage: Huge.
Magazine: 30/30 Bolts.

Mark VI. Chainsword
A large sword with an engine and a roaring mechanical blade. The chained teeth of this sword have diamantine tips that lets it tear through armor like a knife through butter.
Fuel: 15/15 Minutes.

Fuel Tank
A fuel tank that may be used in a Flamer, Chainsword, or even in vehicles. WARNING: Contains unstable Promethium.

240 Bolts (Ammo)

Pimp-Staff
A, probably magical, a conduit of spatial forces that lets you unleash deadly pimp energies onto your opponents like arcane blasts. The Pimp-Staff stores 5000 prana points in it and recharges 500 each hour automatically. Shooting a pimp blast costs 100 prana points.
Pimp Energy: 4900/5000

Fanoros Fictionomicon (Currently in Shinrei's Hold)
A puzzling tome of magecraft of unknown origin that contains arcane and esoteric mysteries not meant for the eyes of mortal men or gods.

Mark VII. Aquila Power Armor (Unpainted) (Pimped Out)
A durable example of Imperial engineering. This power armor enhances the wearer's strength and endurance beyond what is normally possible, but can only be worn by trained personnel like space marines. It also contains auto-senses in the helmet and other features, but it requires to be powered with electricity. The battery can be found on the back and is somewhat large, therefore leaving the wearer exposed to sneak attacks.

50kg of Cocaine
Ah, yes! The finest substance in the galaxy. This little collection of white powdered dust helps you get through the day and dull your senses until you can no longer think.

1.5 Liters of Blood (Low-Quality) (w/ Cocaine)
Taken from a dead Imperial servitor, this blood may be used for a variety of purposes; rituals, feeding vampires or perhaps drinking. Still, it is of low quality as servitors don't need blood. It is overflowing with chemicals and is very unpleasant in both taste and consistency. Kept in a small tube. This mixture has been laced with visible traces of cocaine.

Plasma Pistol
A sidearm that shoots heated hydrogen bolts at temperatures above 7 thousand degrees Celsius. These bolts quickly pressurize into plasma and a foe in heavy armor will be badly damaged from just one shot.
Rate of fire: 1PlasBolt/1s.
Damage: Devastating.
Magazine: 15/15 Hydrogen Shots

Frag Grenades (2)
An explosive grenade that explodes 5 seconds after the pin is pulled. Deals decent damage against all opponents.

Krak Grenades (2)
Special grenades designed to work against vehicles. One is more than enough to disable a medium-sized tank of moderate armor.

Prana: 1700/1700

Of course we accept! But afterwards, we will kill their leader. Orks respect the biggest and the baddest around. If we kill their leader, the title of "biggest and baddest" will fall to us, and we'll get everything, plus the respect/fear of these local Ork tribes.

 

[Birdsie]

Of course we accept! But afterwards, we will kill their leader. Orks respect the biggest and the baddest around. If we kill their leader, the title of "biggest and baddest" will fall to us, and we'll get everything, plus the respect/fear of these local Ork tribes.

You're taking the W40k setting too literally. Remember that this whole thing is heavily modified, and then laced with parody!

 

[Dalamus Ulom]

You're taking the W40k setting too literally. Remember that this whole thing is heavily modified, and then laced with parody!

They shall fear and worship us in the end regardless! They shall know our name even though we technically don't have a name beyond "The Pimp" and "The Dealer"!

 

[Birdsie]

They shall fear and worship us in the end regardless! They shall know our name even though we technically don't have a name beyond "The Pimp" and "The Dealer"!

The best part about our protagonist is that he's anonymous. The players are what defines him. And clearly, this shows that the players in this situation are seriously f***ed.

 

[Rin Nyx]

Captain Gabriel Rin Nyx Archdemon Alteras HTCOR Dalamus Ulom TheCountryWarrior

You decide to pick up the call after several seconds of snorting cocaine from Shinrei's half-conscious face. You click the button on your left wrist and you hear a voice speak to you from the other side. It is one of your main lieutenants in the gang.

"Master! Dark elves are stealing your gnomes!"

"Shit. Really?" You ask, completely befuddled.

"No, I'm just joking." The lieutenant denies the claim. The two of you share a brief laugh.

"Well, either way," he starts, on a new topic. "The local ork tribes want to hire us for an expedition underground. There is some ancient forge underground with lots of weapons and armor. If we participate, we get half of the spoils, several old pieces of space marine power armor they scavenged, some money, and a bunch of orkish soldiers at your disposal."

1. Accept.
2. Deny.

Stat-Screen:

Spoiler

Ship Status:
Name: Thunderlight Mk. I
Fuel: 100%
Krak Missiles: 4/4
Assault Cannon: 585/600
Speed: 650km/h (2000km/h with Boosters online.)
Damage: N/A

Wounds: N/A

Relationships:
Shinrei: 50
Sarah: 0
The God-Emperor: 10
Sanguinius: 0
The Dark Gods of Chaos: 40
- Tzeentch: 2.5
- Slaanesh: 2.5
- Khorne: 2.5
- Nurgle: 2.5
- Satan: 30

Statistics:
Weapon Skill: 46
Ballistic Skill: 53
Strength: 62
Toughness: 62
Agility: 45
Intelligence: 36
Perception: 35
Willpower: 48
Fellowship: 41

Influence: 15 - A leading force in planetary politics, a factor in system politics
Fame: 9 - Known in the star system
Infamy: 5 - Negative rumors are widespread

Corruption: 10
Insanity: 45

Inventory:

D-64 Storm Bolter
A powerful weapon that fires bolts. Bolts are special bullets propelled via a charge on the back that can penetrate armor easily thanks to their diamantine tips. They have a half-second charge that causes them to explode once they are past the enemy's armor. They are incredibly destructive weapons that can tear enemies apart with one barrage. The Storm Bolter is a deadly weapon of massive, increased firepower that can manage to fire 3 bolts per second making it much deadlier.
Rate of fire: 1Bolt/0.3s.
Damage: Huge.
Magazine: 30/30 Bolts.

Mark VI. Chainsword
A large sword with an engine and a roaring mechanical blade. The chained teeth of this sword have diamantine tips that lets it tear through armor like a knife through butter.
Fuel: 15/15 Minutes.

Fuel Tank
A fuel tank that may be used in a Flamer, Chainsword, or even in vehicles. WARNING: Contains unstable Promethium.

240 Bolts (Ammo)

Pimp-Staff
A, probably magical, a conduit of spatial forces that lets you unleash deadly pimp energies onto your opponents like arcane blasts. The Pimp-Staff stores 5000 prana points in it and recharges 500 each hour automatically. Shooting a pimp blast costs 100 prana points.
Pimp Energy: 4900/5000

Fanoros Fictionomicon (Currently in Shinrei's Hold)
A puzzling tome of magecraft of unknown origin that contains arcane and esoteric mysteries not meant for the eyes of mortal men or gods.

Mark VII. Aquila Power Armor (Unpainted) (Pimped Out)
A durable example of Imperial engineering. This power armor enhances the wearer's strength and endurance beyond what is normally possible, but can only be worn by trained personnel like space marines. It also contains auto-senses in the helmet and other features, but it requires to be powered with electricity. The battery can be found on the back and is somewhat large, therefore leaving the wearer exposed to sneak attacks.

50kg of Cocaine
Ah, yes! The finest substance in the galaxy. This little collection of white powdered dust helps you get through the day and dull your senses until you can no longer think.

1.5 Liters of Blood (Low-Quality) (w/ Cocaine)
Taken from a dead Imperial servitor, this blood may be used for a variety of purposes; rituals, feeding vampires or perhaps drinking. Still, it is of low quality as servitors don't need blood. It is overflowing with chemicals and is very unpleasant in both taste and consistency. Kept in a small tube. This mixture has been laced with visible traces of cocaine.

Plasma Pistol
A sidearm that shoots heated hydrogen bolts at temperatures above 7 thousand degrees Celsius. These bolts quickly pressurize into plasma and a foe in heavy armor will be badly damaged from just one shot.
Rate of fire: 1PlasBolt/1s.
Damage: Devastating.
Magazine: 15/15 Hydrogen Shots

Frag Grenades (2)
An explosive grenade that explodes 5 seconds after the pin is pulled. Deals decent damage against all opponents.

Krak Grenades (2)
Special grenades designed to work against vehicles. One is more than enough to disable a medium-sized tank of moderate armor.

Prana: 1700/1700

Ooh, ancient forge! Accept! Because it's ancient! And a forge! And forges use fire! In fact, I want to own that forge! It has to be ours!

 

[Rin Nyx]

The best part about our protagonist is that he's anonymous. The players are what defines him. And clearly, this shows that the players in this situation are seriously f***ed.

TFW a good majority of the reason our character is so messed up is because of you (at least in earlier game) xD
Now everyone's just succumbed to the chaos

 

[Birdsie]

The best part about our protagonist is that he's anonymous. The players are what defines him. And clearly, this shows that the players in this situation are seriously f***ed.

Ooh, ancient forge! Accept! Because it's ancient! And a forge! And forges use fire! In fact, I want to own that forge! It has to be ours!

TFW a good majority of the reason our character is so messed up is because of you (at least in earlier game) xD
Now everyone's just succumbed to the chaos

See what I mean? A bunch of cocaine-addicted, greedy, slothful, wrathful, prideful megalomaniacs with no empathy for other human beings.

 

[Rin Nyx]

See what I mean? A bunch of cocaine-addicted, greedy, slothful, wrathful, prideful megalomaniacs with no empathy for other human beings.

Hey, I gotta let my inner sociopath out *somewhere*

 

[Birdsie]

Hey, I gotta let my inner sociopath out *somewhere*

You haven't seen no sociopath yet, girl.