Viewpoint Would you roleplay with someone who recently turned 18?

[borealis]

Hello all! I'm asking this question as someone who's turning 18 in a month.

When I joined this site, I wasn't expecting so many people to be adults. I love that you guys are able to set boundaries for yourselves via age requirements (something that seems to be the norm, especially compared platforms I've been on. It's awesome!) and I want to respect this boundary as much as possible ^^

Those of you with an 18+ requirement: would you feel okay roleplaying with someone who meets the benchmark by a few weeks or even couple months? For the record, I myself am comfortable with roleplaying with those 16 to 21, so anyone over the aforementioned age isn't exactly the target audience for this question (but input is welcome!).

Thank you all so much, have a great day!

 

[Onmyoji]

I'm one of those people with strict 18+ requirement that I set for my personal comfort. So I'll answer from my perspective. Other people may have different opinions, so don't accept it as the norm!

Not all, but some of that comes from legal concerns, so the fabled "18+" would alleviate them to some extent.
Celebrating 18th birthday does not magically make you a different person. There is just that flair of "legal age" for stuff. And I don't mean content that is forbidden on this site anyway (although there are people trying to circumvent the rules and if you encounter them please report them asap). It's mostly a general thing, where people are worried to be confronted by a minor's parents for whatever reason. Some parents are very controlling and adult roleplayers do not wish to be involved in drama when a controlling parent reads their child's messages and arrives at wrong conclusions.

Another reason is the age gap thing, where people may have drastically different experiences and it would be hard for them to find common ground (i.e. if the age gap is 10+ years). However, with what you noted as your preferred age range (up to 21) the difference in experience is not as massive, and I think many people would be ok roleplaying with someone who will be 18 in a couple weeks.

Personally, I wouldn't mind rp with someone a couple weeks before their 18th birthday, but I do have those concerns and I wouldn't be willing to go much below that (maybe to a month maximum). I generally prefer to rp with older people simply because of the experiences, as it would be easier to find common topics when you're closer in age. It's not a dealbreaker, though. I've had amazing rp partners with big age gap and it wasn't a problem.

The opinions may vary dramatically, and you may see different arguments from other users. This is just based on my experience.

 

[borealis]

I'm one of those people with strict 18+ requirement that I set for my personal comfort. So I'll answer from my perspective. Other people may have different opinions, so don't accept it as the norm!

Not all, but some of that comes from legal concerns, so the fabled "18+" would alleviate them to some extent.
Celebrating 18th birthday does not magically make you a different person. There is just that flair of "legal age" for stuff. And I don't mean content that is forbidden on this site anyway (although there are people trying to circumvent the rules and if you encounter them please report them asap). It's mostly a general thing, where people are worried to be confronted by a minor's parents for whatever reason. Some parents are very controlling and adult roleplayers do not wish to be involved in drama when a controlling parent reads their child's messages and arrives at wrong conclusions.

Another reason is the age gap thing, where people may have drastically different experiences and it would be hard for them to find common ground (i.e. if the age gap is 10+ years). However, with what you noted as your preferred age range (up to 21) the difference in experience is not as massive, and I think many people would be ok roleplaying with someone who will be 18 in a couple weeks.

Personally, I wouldn't mind rp with someone a couple weeks before their 18th birthday, but I do have those concerns and I wouldn't be willing to go much below that (maybe to a month maximum). I generally prefer to rp with older people simply because of the experiences, as it would be easier to find common topics when you're closer in age. It's not a dealbreaker, though. I've had amazing rp partners with big age gap and it wasn't a problem.

The opinions may vary dramatically, and you may see different arguments from other users. This is just based on my experience.

Thanks for the detailed response!

Yeah, I had related concerns regarding your second point (some people simply dislike the experience gap) and I was thinking something along the lines of "maybe I should wait a year from now so that people don't find me as awkward" haha. I'm glad to hear that this probably not what it will take for some people to feel okay roleplaying with me. From what I'm getting from this, I should try my chances reaching out to some people in case they share similar beliefs as you. Thanks again for the input ^^

 

[Onmyoji]

Thanks for the detailed response!

Yeah, I had related concerns regarding your second point (some people simply dislike the experience gap) and I was thinking something along the lines of "maybe I should wait a year from now so that people don't find me as awkward" haha. I'm glad to hear that this probably not what it will take for some people to feel okay roleplaying with me. From what I'm getting from this, I should try my chances reaching out to some people in case they share similar beliefs as you. Thanks again for the input ^^

I don't think you should wait a year. And there are also plenty of people who don't have hard age limits!
There is no harm in asking! In worst case, they'll just say no and you move on. Considering how often you need to move on even if you fit the age requirement, that's certainly not the thing that should stop you

 

[nerdy tangents]

Well outside of your age range (I will be turning 37 in a month lol) but for me I think it’s not really a big deal either way.

I don’t have an age limit in my roleplays personally but since I mostly do HP roleplays it usually ends up being folks in their mid to late twenties anyway just based on interest in the fandom. Not a lot of new HP fans these days for obvious reasons.

I also usually do platonic stories so I’m not as paranoid about parental disapproval. Plus growing up I always spent more time around adults than people my own age so I tend to take the viewpoint of being a mentor and safe space.

I’m aromantic asexual so you won’t get any spicy talk from me which is really what people are worried about when it comes to age gaps.

 

[Terry Bogard]

25 here, and I thought I’ve already been too old to RP until I found out that mostly everybody here is in their 20s and 30s lol. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind it, as long as we set boundaries and know what to do and not to do with somebody with a noticeable age gap. I’m sure there are still many rpers your age or below out there, just on different platforms. They tend to be in their late teens or slightly below iirc.

 

[borealis]

Well outside of your age range (I will be turning 37 in a month lol) but for me I think it’s not really a big deal either way.

I don’t have an age limit in my roleplays personally but since I mostly do HP roleplays it usually ends up being folks in their mid to late twenties anyway just based on interest in the fandom. Not a lot of new HP fans these days for obvious reasons.

I also usually do platonic stories so I’m not as paranoid about parental disapproval. Plus growing up I always spent more time around adults than people my own age so I tend to take the viewpoint of being a mentor and safe space.

I’m aromantic asexual so you won’t get any spicy talk from me which is really what people are worried about when it comes to age gaps.

That's actually great to hear, I'm looking for some platonic roleplays myself and it's nice to think that older people might be more okay with roleplaying with me if they're aware of that ^^"

Thank you for the input!!

 

[borealis]

25 here, and I thought I’ve already been too old to RP until I found out that mostly everybody here is in their 20s and 30s lol. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind it, as long as we set boundaries and know what to do and not to do with somebody with a noticeable age gap. I’m sure there are still many rpers your age or below out there, just on different platforms. They tend to be in their late teens or slightly below iirc.

LMAO yeah, I moved on from a few of my other roleplay platforms precisely because most roleplayers there were quite young (12-15, with some 16-17 year olds scattered in-between) and I was looking to reach an older roleplaying base. Then I joined and saw that the median age of people here seem to be around mid-late 20's, and it was just like, "oh my gosh. I'm in way over my head." Everyone here seems to be very nice so far though, so not as scary as I originally thought ^^ thank you!

 

[SeekingPolaris]

LMAO yeah, I moved on from a few of my other roleplay platforms precisely because most roleplayers there were quite young (12-15, with some 16-17 year olds scattered in-between) and I was looking to reach an older roleplaying base. Then I joined and saw that the median age of people here seem to be around mid-late 20's, and it was just like, "oh my gosh. I'm in way over my head." Everyone here seems to be very nice so far though, so not as scary as I originally thought ^^ thank you!

Hi Borealis,
I don’t have much of an answer for this as I’m not really sure how I want to do age ranges myself, but really appreciate you asking since I’m over 18 but also feel a little in over my head being on the younger side of users here and I prefer platonic roleplays as well, so this thread has been interesting and helpful.

 

[borealis]

Hi Borealis,
I don’t have much of an answer for this as I’m not really sure how I want to do age ranges myself, but really appreciate you asking since I’m over 18 but also feel a little in over my head being on the younger side of users here and I prefer platonic roleplays as well, so this thread has been interesting and helpful.

Hey, that's good to know! I'm glad it's helping out someone else! From what I've seen so far, everyone has been very respectful, so I'm much less intimidated now haha. Also, wow, our names sort of match. North Star? Northern Lights?

 

[Astrologer]

outside of your age range, but i'd say that it depends on the roleplay for me.

i'd definitely not write something grimdark with someone so young and i'd be uncomfortable writing romance too, but something like pokemon or avatar: the last airbender? i'd be down for that. i'd also be way more comfortable writing with younger folks in group setting as opposed to onexone. it's something about power dynamics for me. . as an older person who was groomed as a teenager in the roleplaying community, i never want to be in a situation where i can have power over another person and age tends to play a huge part in that.

 

[borealis]

outside of your age range, but i'd say that it depends on the roleplay for me.

i'd definitely not write something grimdark with someone so young and i'd be uncomfortable writing romance too, but something like pokemon or avatar: the last airbender? i'd be down for that. i'd also be way more comfortable writing with younger folks in group setting as opposed to onexone. it's something about power dynamics for me. . as an older person who was groomed as a teenager in the roleplaying community, i never want to be in a situation where i can have power over another person and age tends to play a huge part in that.

That makes sense to me, thank you ^^ the group setting comment is actually pretty helpful considering the fact that I'm looking to join some group roleplays eventually (that inevitably have adults in them). I appreciate your input, have a great day!

 

[SeekingPolaris]

Hey, that's good to know! I'm glad it's helping out someone else! From what I've seen so far, everyone has been very respectful, so I'm much less intimidated now haha. Also, wow, our names sort of match. North Star? Northern Lights?

Oh hey yeah that’s fun

 

[Wildcard8880]

I’d be comfy!

 

[Onmyoji]

I think for Groups the age requirements are generally more lax. Unless it's some kind of gore-heavy grimdark (or something along those lines) setting where people absolutely do not want to have minors for reasons discussed above.
As you're interacting with multiple people at once and it's not as private conversations like in 1x1 rp, people would generally care less about the players age.

 

[Bacon is fluffy]

Doesn't matter unless the person makes it an issue. We are on a forum where the only way you can even find such information, is if you divulge it yourself.

 

[Cogwork]

Those of you with an 18+ requirement: would you feel okay roleplaying with someone who meets the benchmark by a few weeks or even couple months?

I think most people would.

Like, all age requirements are drawn rather arbitrary. There is honestly not much (if any) difference between someone who turned eighteen a day ago and someone who did so six months ago.

 

[davy]

I help run a tiny group board that's 18+ but not explicit in the way most 18+ things are, just kinda violent. The rule is mostly there because 1) I'm a trans person and that + minors can bring extra scrutiny (it shouldn't but it does), and 2) a lot of us are Internet Old (30s and 40s) so it just made sense to have our space be an adult space.

A 17 year old asked to join last year, and I may reach out to them next time we're open to new players (which won't happen til after their birthday anyway). I forget who was what age in the previous batch of newbies, but I think they were all 20-ish and the one who stuck around has integrated really well into the group and is wonderful to write with. 18 and 20 are not very far apart.

When I was 20, I would've been happy to do 1:1 with an 18 year old. Now at over 30, I wouldn't unless it was a very action adventure sort of story that definitely wouldn't have romance between player characters. RP romance is definitely not the same thing as dating, but I'd still worry about someone else thinking it was inappropriate and causing us problems.

 

[Batwing]

A lot of us started when we were teenagers, when this hobby (and forums in general) were much more popular, so that's why you'll often find people in their late 20s or older on RP forums like this one. I'm glad that people are still interested in the hobby, and I wish you luck in finding games to play in.

As others have said, there are legal reasons for not RPing with people under 18, and there are also social ones. I just tend to click better with people closer to my own age (34). It happens naturally, even if it's people online whose exact ages I don't know... I'll gravitate to the older folks, lol. Personally, I'm most comfortable with 25+ partners. I would give a younger adult than that a chance if we seemed to mesh, but it hasn't really happened. My standards also vary based on the setting and contents of the RP. I have more wiggle room for public group games with no overly mature themes.

That said... when I was a bit younger, like in my early to mid-20s, I ended up with some younger teenagers in some of my group RPs, like 13-16 year olds. We made it work, but it ended up causing problems due to mismatched maturity levels. It was a real administrative headache. Looking back on how I behaved online when I was a teen, I imagine the adults that interacted with me in forum settings were dealing with similar headaches.

An 18 year old is certainly an adult, and they're (usually) not going to cause the same kinds of conflicts. But in my experience (of both my own young adulthood and interacting with people of all ages online), there's a big difference between being in your late teens/early 20s and being on the other side of them. You don't perceive it much when you're living those years, but there is often still a bit of a mismatch there.

So I think seeking out peers of a similar age has you on the right track. If I were 19-21, I don't see any reason I wouldn't RP with an 18 year old, or a 17 year old for group games. You will hopefully be able to find partners. It's just that it's a much smaller world than it used to be, and the age does skew older in pockets like this due to it being the modern iteration of something that was much busier 10-20 years ago. Here's hoping that things start growing again and that people can find RP forums welcoming regardless of age.