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Realistic or Modern 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚞𝚜

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  • sunny days spent in our own little world we were princes and princesses, healers and knights. back when we made promises to stay together forever. it was a time i remember all too well; a time when we were us.

    kang mi-rae








Perhaps secrets were meant to be a part of life; there always were – and always would be – words rusty and ugly that you just can’t utter. Instead, they find home in the deepest alcoves of yourself — back where it’s both the safest and darkest. And like a sea oath, there comes the promise to hide them in the crimson of your blood and blue of your veins. But nothing lays hidden forever; sand turns traitor and betrays the footsteps that have passed over it; water gives back the tales of those drowned; fire leaves confessions in ashes; and the soul’s sorrows break their secrecy in thoughts, right through the glass window gazes. .

Sometimes, a secret unveils itself in the heavy silence and lifeless stone.

All the nervous excitement coursing through Mi-rae’s body ceased instantly as the poorly built but familiar houses changed to an almost empty park. What once was a building thought of Sun-woo having moved houses crumbled under the weight of catching the name on the grave in front of them. Everything Mi-rae knew shattered upon staring at a ghost who still had been alive in her mind. .It felt like the vivid and bright colours Mi-rae had been living by just turned out to only be an illusion, with the painting of reality being much more monochrome. And she didn’t know what to feel or to think, because how could she tell what had been real or not?

She didn’t even know if she truly knew her friend anymore…

Questions. So many questions and so many emotions; confusion whirls around — was this real? Anger scorches the edges — why didn’t you tell me?? Heartbreak cracks in the space of her ribcage — why couldn’t you tell me? Worry seeps in — for how long have you been on your own? Jealousy whispers — does Hana know? Mi-rae wanted to yell at him, hug him and cry with him all at the same time. To think Sun-woo didn’t have any parents left and he didn’t say anything up until now. Why? Just why? Was he scared she was going to leave him too? Or did he feel ashamed of his situation?

Mi-rae felt betrayed. Memories pristine and perfect were now fragile fragments broken by the hands of deception. His lies might have been more in silence than outright words, but it all reached the same outcome; her falsely believing with all heart and soul that they were close enough to have stood the test of distance and time. She believed they could — would — tell each other everything. Oh how wrong she was…. It brought forth another fear; what else could he have been hiding in those shy smiles? Mi-rae didn’t want to think the worst of it, but there were still insecurities nestled in the dirt of her soul, all waiting for the right fuel to grow and break through the surface.

Maybe they both shared the fear of abandonment. A deep seated worry that what people would tell you and what they thought were actually different; saying they will stay all while planning to leave. It’s what molds you into different versions of yourself, all sculpted to people’s preferences so that there is less of a reason to think about leaving. It’s how you become a mirrorball, one that shines and shimmers just for others. Just to keep you entertained.

Just to keep you looking.

Yeah. Mi-rae was being quite the hypocrite, and she knew that deep down. How many fake smiles had she given him? How many words were still stored deep in her bones, in silence sealed? Mi-rae was no stranger to secrets, to the concept of keeping thoughts, feelings and dreams to yourself because their charm would be broken if revealed. Maybe that was why she couldn’t act as angry as she felt to Sunny, her figure instead sitting down next to her friend, hand finding his. Mi-rae gazed into his eyes, a weak smile appearing on her lips. Maybe he deserved to be yelled at, but how could she do that? Sunny was still her friend — one who, relatably, had more fractures in the soul than he let on. He needed a friend at this moment. He deserved one.

It was time for Mi-rae to be Mi-rae.

“Hello Sun-woo’s dad!. I hope you like the birthday cake we brought !! It has nice strawberries on it, see? Aannndd that’s not all ! We also prepared a birthday song for you !! We even got all the karaoke experience.." there was a wink towards Sun-woo, before the clearing of the throat. " Now let us beginnn,” and gone was any sign of hurt; her hands started to clap in rhythm as she began to sing happy birthday, eyes sparkling and energy buzzing.

And there shone the jewel of their friendship.

They were both secret keepers and liars, but it didn’t matter;

At the moment, everything was briefly forgotten.

A piece of the past glowed in the present.

Right when we were us.





 




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    i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about you and me. i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about the time when we were us.

    ho sunwoo​






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Today was the day.

The day that they had been preparing for since… well, since birth.

Today was the day of the suneung. The standardized test for university. An eight-hour marathon of back-to-back exams, testing and drilling with mind-numbing questions. All of Korea stopped for those eight hours, praying for those students who had been shaped and modelled over these years into fine academic workers. Parents were driving their children to school today, showering them with praises, well wishes, and symbols of good luck. Hoping and wishing that their son or daughter would get those perfect scores to achieve greatness in their universities of choice.

While students were preparing for their day, still at home in their pyjamas, eating breakfast, Sun-Woo was at work. He knew that the anxiety and nerves would rattle his body, making sleep near impossible. So, he had offered his boss to take the early morning shift; three in the morning until seven. It meant he could get some study done, probably find something expired to eat for breakfast and still make it on time to the test. Plus, it was an additional wage. Quite frankly, he had been correct about the nerves. Clicking his pen and bobbing his leg up and down, he could feel the anxiety sitting in the pits of his gut. He had been blessed enough to find some kimbap that was expired by one day, but he couldn’t think of eating at a time like this.

All this hard work. All this sacrifice. It was all for university.

If he didn’t get a good mark on this test, then all of this would be for nothing. His aims, desire, passion and goals were all pointed at Seoul National University to study medicine. If not there, then Sungkyunkwan University. Honestly, anywhere that offered a study in the field of medicine. His ambition was to become a doctor, and the thing that was stopping that dream from becoming a reality was this exam. It was the bridge was would lead him from the mess he was in and into the promised land where everything was going to be okay.. That’s why he had to be perfect. That’s why he had to make sure every last bit of information on this piece of paper before him would soak into those little brain muscles and hold on tight for just another twelve or so hours!

“Aishh,” he scratched the back of his head, gazing down at the book before him “I feel like I’m overthinking everything. Should I have focused on chapter eight instead of chapter eleven?”

No, he wasn’t speaking to himself. He dropped his gaze from his book and gazed up towards Mi-Rae. The ray of sunshine had visited his workplace, bright and early after he had truthfully explained to her his plan for today. Since that moment, where they sat before his Appa’s gravestone and celebrated his life together, Sun-Woo felt… well, almost like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. It felt like he was able to start sharing more of his present self with Mi-Rae, bit by bit. After all, he didn’t want to disappoint her. She had a preconceived notion, a projected image, of who ‘Sunny’ was - the Sunny from her childhood memories and dreams. He had been so anxious that he was failing to live up to that expectation.

His hand raised up to the drawstring of his new jacket - one that Mi-Rae had blessed him with that very same day - and he began to twirl it between his fingers through a state of anxiousness. “I’m not overthinking it, am I?” he questioned his friend. Tick, tick, tick. The clock behind him as he stood at the counter boastfully rang out its ticking, teasing that time was closing in on them. It was only a matter of time before they would have to bid their goodbyes and travel off to their schools for their very big, long, stressful and life-changing day.





/* ------ credit -- do not remove ------ */

© weldherwings.


 
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    sunny days spent in our own little world we were princes and princesses, healers and knights. back when we made promises to stay together forever. it was a time i remember all too well; a time when we were us.

    ho sunwoo​






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Paths twist and turn, cross and collide, dissolve and divide; it was all a matter of time. A matter of futures creeping in. The seeds previously planted in life’s garden were now on the brink of blossoming or dying in their try to reach for that golden, promised light, the result only a show of the nurture given or deprived. Mi-rae thought it to be a cruel thing to not know your future until it pierced right through you, tearing apart the fabrics of the past, and leaving them tattered and beyond reach. It is a horrifying something, to do everything you can, and still not know if it will be enough.

Will it be enough?

Ink bled those burning hands, hours and hours of writing creaking their worn bones. Opaque hazes saturated tired eyes, dark shades painting skin in desperate need of sleep. Words upon words dashed through the mind, all blinking in and out of existence every few seconds. All on the run as if chased by calamitous enmity. Mi-rae’s free time had been no more the past week; from self-study to tutoring, school had completely dominated her life. A study less person had become a studious one, and with a drive that would be admirable if it wasn’t so deeply rooted in pure fear. Yeah, if Sun-woo was nervous about the Suneung, Mi-rae was terrified.

Mania spins as love spirals — a pressing reminder screaming in the head that you, bejeweled with amethyst affections, can lose as much as you love. Mi-rae, despite having lived in a gold rush and lavender haze, was very much aware how quickly riches like these could be stripped away from her. Friendships welded by teen hearts and fated proximity were a norm, but, at the same time, never the exception. Grow out these adolescent hearts and see, watch if they still beat the same. Curve these paths away from each other and behold if they will find their way back. Luck can exist, but never stay. And these futures together? Mi-rae could not help but lose herself in the what-ifs of it, especially the bad ones. Changing her friends' dreams, she could not — but maybe, maybe if she managed to stay literally close to them, they would make it.

She prayed they would make it.

So doing well on the Suneung was a must. A need. So much so that she had joined her friend Sunny on his early revisement before the great horror would occur. Partly to support him, partly to magically siphon some of his smart brain energy. Seeing him be this anxious about the test too didn’t help, though. If you are this nervous, how will I survive?? A panicked thought trickled in, making her bite her lip, before shaking her head.

No… We will make it.

The both of us !

“Ho Sunwoo!” Hands gripped his shoulders tightly; a face quickly closing in, eyes incredibly stern for a person so soft. “If anyone is going to ace this thing, it will be you !!” A pointed finger pressed into his chest. “I mean, you are basically the smartest person I know. Ah…just don’t tell my boyfriend I said that….” Cheeks flushed pink, the last sentence falling into a whisper. It was true that Sunwoo excelled over Jae in the academic department, but voicing it somehow felt a bit like betrayal. A girlfriend had to support her boyfriend the most after all, didn’t she?

Ah well, at least he wasn’t he-

A jingle, the opening of a door. Eyes averted, before widening at the sight of someone she thought of but didn’t expect to see. Handsome and tall, his figure appeared before her, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a black leather school bag.

“Jae-!” she exclaimed, surprise pitching her voice. Instinctively, she stepped back, increasing the distance between her and Sunny. “What are you doing here?” Blinking, she watched as her boyfriend shook his head, a soft sigh leaving his lips.

“To pick you up. We would walk together to school, remember?” he said, walking over to her. Embarrassment tinted her face once more. No, she had not remembered; the sleep deprivation and nerves had deleted it from the mind. An apology swam in her eyes, one her boyfriend missed, his gaze instead focused on Sun-woo. Or more so his clothes. Tight lips, something sharp in dark hues tempered for subtlety. An arm wrapped around her figure, pressing her close.

“Nice jacket. It must be a new one, right?” A compliment that shouldn’t feel so cold ran into the open air. Mi-rae’s heart sank — did he know? Know that she gifted Sunny the jacket originally meant for him. Nervous eyes switched back and forth between the two.

Neutrality painted Joon-jae’s face, his next words, however, did not.

“Where did you buy it? I am only asking because the quality and style looks very different from your old one. It must be a good store. One that could fit my taste. ”



/* ------ credit -- do not remove ------ */

© weldherwings.


 




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    i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about you and me. i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about the time when we were us.

    ho sunwoo​






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Hands gripped to his shoulders, keeping him firm and rooted on his spot. A curious brow fluttered across Sunwoo’s face as his eyes trailed from the hands clasped upon him up to Mi-Rae’s face, meeting her terrifyingly intense gaze. Her words of encouragement poured from her lips, watering the dry and withering garden that was encapsulated within his chest. With each reassuring sentence she spoke into life, he could feel the flowers in his garden beginning to sprout and bloom. She was the sunshine, who also brought the rain to feed the soil. His withering garden now erupting into full bloom as she spoke her truth over him. A bashful, fond grin even managed to spread across his face as she voiced for him not to tell her boyfriend. As her cheeks flushed, as did his own, tearing his gaze away from her momentarily before looking up once more. “Thank you… Really,” he responded, the soft smile on his face never leaving “Thank you for everything”

Everything was such a vague word. It could’ve captured the image of Mi-Rae waking up early just to come and listen to his anxious revisions. It could’ve embraced the moment that she saw that he was in need of a new jacket, his old one torn to pieces and beyond repair, so she offered him (more like forced it on him) a new one as a replacement. But the everything was a blanket term, covering over all their moments from not just the last few weeks but years. Mi-Rae’s supportiveness didn’t just start from this second but rather from the very first day they had met. She was the warmth that he not only desired but essentially needed during the coldness of his life.

Ring~!

The sound of the bell chiming through out the store was enough to trigger an automatic response from Sun-Woo; pavlovian behaviour on full display as he turned towards the door, hands clasped in front of himself and coming to a respectful boy as he called out a “welcome~!” As he arose to his full form, Mi-Rae called out the name of the customer who had just walked through the door. Jae. In a split second, a warmth of embarrassment ran through his core. Of course, Jae knew that he worked here; nothing was embarrassing about that. What had been was how formal he had been, responding to the entrance of the boy without fathoming who had walked in. And as the boy moved closer to the pair, he could instantly feel the tension.

Piercing eyes latched onto him, observing and tearing down everything they could see. Sun-Woo stood there awkwardly, covering his hands with the ends of the jacket and fiddling with the fabric as he kept his hands clasped in front. As Jae asked about his jacket, questioning if it was new and where he had brought it from, Sun-Woo could feel his ears flare up. The anxiety built up in his chest from the exam, and Jae’s gaze plummeted to the bottom of his gut like the plunge in a rollercoaster ride. “Oh, uh…” he paused, flickering his gaze towards Mi-Rae for some sort of guidance. The thought of lying to Jae was far too terrifying, despite the fact he had been so comfortable with lying to Mi-Rae for so long. He could feel his mouth getting dry, lapping his tongue subtly over his lips as they craved hydration. I suppose there would be no issue in telling the truth here, right? After all, he had said the other day he wanted to stop telling so many lies.

“Mi-Rae… actually…” his words stuttered and stammered as his fingers clutched onto the fabric on the hem of his sleeves. Taking a stealthy inhale, Sun-Woo finally gathered all the strength and courage to turn to Jae and look at the boy dead on. “Mi-Rae gave it to me. I mean, I… My other jacket… the zipper broke while I was… While we were studying. And I was cold, so Mi-Rae loaned this one to me?” The last line came out more so a question rather than a statement, trapped and wrapped in a web of fear and small white lies. The truth was that Mi-Rae didn’t loan him the jacket, but rather she had given it to him as a present. But how would that make Mi-Rae look? Giving a present to a boy that wasn’t her boyfriend? And how would it make Sun-Woo look? Someone who took handouts and cannot afford something as simple as a jacket to replace an old one?





/* ------ credit -- do not remove ------ */

© weldherwings.


 




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    sunny days spent in our own little world we were princes and princesses, healers and knights. back when we made promises to stay together forever. it was a time i remember all too well; a time when we were us.

    ho sunwoo​






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Something crawled beneath the borders of unease; a slithering of shame perhaps, or could it be closer to abashment? It was not like the two were caught in a secret dalliance, lips close to locking and fingers pressing against heated skin, but Mi-rae still felt as if Jae caught her doing something forbidden. Did she regret giving the jacket previously destined for her boyfriend to Sunny? She could not say she did, because her heart simply cracked too much at the sight of her friend in those tattered fabrics. If anything, Mi-rae had considered it a sign of the universe; maybe the stars twinkled their tears in loss, or maybe they meant to show how a new fate could be born at the end of an old one.

Jae’s snide commentary startled her; the cutting edge in his otherwise peaceful voice being something that kind of scared her. Vocal weapons drawn, sound like metal clashing — Mi-rae regarded the whole exchange with wide eyes. A clumsy defense was stammered in return, one that held a notable distortion of truth. Guilt murmured in the heart, a low trembling of walls. Sun-woo did not need to lie on Mi-rae’s behalf; It was a choice she made, one she stood behind, even if it would bruise her own relationship. Fingers tightened around the edges of her sleeves as a valiant heart crossed the wild rivers of nerves, before speaking up;

“I– I didn’t let Sunny borrow the jacket; it is actually his now, because—” because his old one was on the brink of falling apart, but Mi-rae couldn’t let those words run into the open air. Sun-woo hid so much, solely because he didn’t wish others to know about his financial situation. It did not feel right to reveal this part about him without his consent. Cerebral branches reached out for other excuses, ones that veiled the truth but still held credibility.

“---because it is his graduation gift!” Oh how easily lies could be woven and told. Somewhere, in a faraway realm of subconscious, it didn’t go unnoticed how the two decided to lie for each other; similar acts bound by heartstrings or soul tethers. “Well, pre-graduation gift now. I gifted it earlier because it seemed like a waste to give it later when it’s the perfect weather for it now. And knowing how smart Sunny is, I know he is going to do well on the Suneung anyway!” explanations became rambling, and Mi-rae prayed her boyfriend didn’t catch the nerves riding beneath her voice.

Stormy seas met collected but unpredictable waters; whether she was drowning or not, she could not decipher from his gaze alone. A moment of silence passed between the two, before Jae’s eyebrows dipped into a frown, a sigh escaping him.

“You are too kind sometimes.” Eyes softening, he placed a hand on her head. “Didn’t I tell you how easily others will take advantage of your compassion? You should be more careful.” But that’s not Sunny! Her protest died between parted lips, her form turned around by arm’s force. “Let’s go, we don’t want to be late.” Jae said, gently pushing her to the exit.

Wait!

Her head turned, eyes clutching onto Sun-woo’s form, a small sun shaped charm burning in her pocket. Mi-rae had planned to gift him that too – for good luck — but did she want to risk calling for another storm? Her lips pursed in contemplation, before mouthing an apology into his direction. Her hand, now fitting neatly in her boyfriend’s, lost the chance to pull the charm out. Another time, she thought, ignoring the slight regret building up as they started to leave.

Another time.

She promised, silently.




/* ------ credit -- do not remove ------ */

© weldherwings.


 




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  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about you and me. i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about the time when we were us.

    ho sunwoo​






/* ------ right side ------ */

The cold breeze smacked his cheeks as Sun-Woo attempted to open the backdoor with some grace as he carried a large black garbage bag in his hands; although, the wind took hold of the thick, wooden door, pushing it against the side of the wall with a large bang!. As they drew closer towards the end of the year, the mornings were crispier and the wind had no sympathy for those just trying to get on with their everyday lives. Using his foot, he hooked around the edge of the door and flicked it with might to slam it shut, reducing the kiss of winter’s chill within the store. It was the end of his shift and the next staff member had already taken their position at the front of the till. Wanting to show respect towards the older female, Sun-Woo had offered to bring out the trash that had gathered over the last few hours on his way out. After all, it wasn’t a hard chore. Working at a charcoal Korean barbeque and a convenience store had the advantages as he was lunging around heavy boxes and grills every day. And if it meant he would get some good karma from this small little act of kindness, then he was selfishly going to do it. He needed all the good karma he could get for the exams.

Approaching the industrial front load bin, Sun-Woo paused before it with a pursed lip as he examined the lid of the metal contraption. The wind had struck again, hadn’t it? It was okay; it would just be another minute to do the chore. It was fine. Placing the garbage bags on the floor, he slid off his backpack and - regretfully - his school blazer and jacket, placing them neatly on top of his school bag. He had to ensure that his clothes didn’t get dirty before getting to school, and even though he was only opening up the lid of the bin, he was taking no risks or chances. And just like that, he was right; it only took a moment or two to pull up the lid and latch it on. Take that wind, Sun-Woo internally huffed to himself as he rubbed his freezing hands together, attempting to warm them up.

“Ya! Ho Sun-Woo!”

No.

Not today.

Out of all days, why did it have to be today?

Sun-Woo’s flashed his gaze towards the sound of the voice that echoed through the alleyway. Two men stood in the distance and despite the lack of natural light to illuminate their features, the boy already knew who they were. Well, he didn’t know their names. But he knew them all too well. The one who had called out was short and frumpy, his face surrounded by multiple layers of necks, moles and whiskers. The other, who was almost large enough to be a professional basketball player, was built stocky and thick. Despite being physically threatening, the poor man looked like he had run head-on into a parked car eight or nine times in his childhood. Seeing that they had caught the teenager’s attention, they slowly began to close the distance between the two groups. Clack, clack, clack. Despite the rumble of the cars and chatter on the streets nearby, the sounds of their well-polished shoes against the bitumen alleyway ground echoed in Sun-Woo’s ears. His heart missed a skip or two with every clack as he stood there, waiting in anticipation for what was about to happen.

“Oh, Sun-Woo!” the rounded gnome-like man cooed, widening his arms open as if he was about to greet an old relative. “You have grown so much since the last time we saw you. Don’t you think?” He turned to the giant who let out a deep, dark rumble of a chuckle. Flashing a Cheshire grin, he turned back to the boy with a spark of mischief twinkling in his eye. “It’s been too long since we last saw you”

A variety of questions and fears began to circulate through Sun-Woo’s head, rendering him speechless as he stood before the two older gentlemen. It isn’t the beginning of the month. Why are they here? I thought we were just doing bank transfers now. I’m up to date with my payments, aren’t I? I swear I am. I even transferred an additional hundred the other day to make sure I was ahead of payments. Should I ask? Would that be rude? Sun-Woo swallowed thickly, feeling the boulder-sized emotion caught for a moment or two as his mind sped through multiple different narratives. The silence was thick, and the tension began to slowly climb up his spine like a spider travelling its web. Speak! he barked at himself, but the voice inside his head was a lot louder than the one coming from his mouth. Rather than responding to the two older males in the form of words, Sun-Woo instead bowed respectfully towards them.

As if they deserved a piece of that respect.

The two older males began to chuckle at the sight of Sun-Woo’s bow. What was so amusing about it? “Such a respectful young boy, isn’t he?” the short man cooed, reaching over and placing his hand on top of Sun-Woo’s head as the boy bowed before them, patting him like a furry friend. “It’s just too bad it has to be this way” He removed his hand from the boy’s head, giving him the opportunity to slowly rise from his bowed position. “Now, Sun-Woo. You remember what the deal was, right? Your payments were the first Monday of every month.” Still too tense and anxious to find the courage to speak, Sun-Woo simply responded with a slow head nod. “But, sadly, we have come with some… sad news. You see… Our boss has had a change of heart. He has a son, you know. Around your age actually! And his son… Oh, his son has been distraught lately. Something about another boy trying to steal his girlfriend away from him. Can you imagine that? Someone trying to steal the boss’ kid’s girl? So, of course, being the loving Appa that he is, he wants to make his son happy with a present. And to be able to do that, we’re going to need to increase our fees by - oh, what was it again? Oh yes, a fifty per cent fee increase”

He wasn’t sure if it was the shock of the news or the cruel winter breeze that made his body stiff as stone. “I…” the boy began to stutter, his gaze flickering between the two men as he could feel the panic starting to scatter through his body. “I don’t have that type of money. I-I… I’m still at school, and I’m on minimum wage.” Sun-Woo could feel that his words were falling onto deaf ears as the grins of the males only grew with each whimpered, frantic sentence that slipped past his lips. “P-please. Surely we can think of something? Right? I finish school soon. I can work more once school is finished. A-a-and we-we could… ummm… Do collateral?”

The short, stocky man bellowed in laughter, hearing Sun-Woo’s panicked words. “Collateral?” He snickered “What are you going to give for collateral? Your Appa’s ashes? Your cheap ten-dollar shoes from the charity bin? Ya, Ho Sun-Woo. You have nothing worth keeping. Not even your life. Why are you even alive? If I were you, I would’ve thrown myself off Mapo Bridge years ago. You are nothing but scum, and will only ever be scum - like your dirty Appa.” The man drew back his saliva before hacking his spit at Sun-Woo’s feet. “Ya. Jang Gil-son,” he turned to the taller male, obviously mocking the man’s stature by comparing him to the famous giant “Do what you have to do”

What was he going to do?

Sun-Woo’s eyes widened as the giant approached him; despite being one of the tallest students in his classroom, the older man still towered over the boy. The giant leant forward, snatching the bag, jacket and blazer from the ground. “No! Please!” Sun-Woo was amazed that the words even came out of him; the desperate plea came from the pit of his stomach, giving him the unnatural courage to reach his hands towards the items that were in the hands of the man. “Please. Please, I need them. Pl-”

The giant shoved the boy, causing Sun-Woo to stumble backwards. Most people would’ve just given up by now. They would’ve cut their loses and let them run off with whatever was getting stolen. But there was a fire deep in the roots of Sun-Woo’s core that was igniting, bringing a dose of adrenalin. Without a second of hesitation, he quickly raced back up to the giant and took hold of the strap of his bag with all his might. It was a game of tug and war now; Sun-Woo put all his strength and energy into ensuring his bag wouldn’t get stolen, while the giant actually looked disgruntled that he was going to have to put some sort of effort into stealing the said bag. In the midst of their ongoing tango, the giant reached into his pocket before delivering a harsh, piercing punch into Sun-Woo’s stomach. The boy gasped, feeling the wind being knocked out of him. The punch had rendered his legs useless as he wobbled like a baby deer taking its first steps before he tumbled down onto the floor. Arms automatically covered his stomach, his body going into auto-pilot to protect himself from any more harm as he attempted to gather both his strength and breath.

But it was too late.

The two men had fled the scene.

Rolling onto his back, allowing the dampness of the chilled kissed ground to soak through his school shirt, Sun-Woo arched his head to look in the direction of the men running off. His heart thundered in his chest, ricocheting against his ribcage and bruising his lungs as he attempted to slow down his breathing. His bag… They had taken everything. Everything he needed was in that bag. His phone, wallet, school books, and spare clothes. All he had left now was the clothes that he wore. Oh, and well, look at that. They had been nice enough to leave behind his blazer on the floor but not without stepping on it and leaving such fabulous patterned shoe marks upon it. No doubt dropping it in the chaos of scattering away like cockroaches when exposed to light.

So much for good karma.

Slowly and gradually, Sun-Woo began to push himself up from his spot on the floor. With each move he made, he could feel the pain of that punch radiating through every inch of his body. His face scrunched in pain as he took hold of his blazer off the ground and stood to his full height once again. Jesus Christ… he sure knows how to pack a punch… he thought to himself, placing his hand upon the location the giant ape had thrown his blow and pressing down on it for a moment with hopes that it would cause some sort of comfort. Alas, all it did was continue to encourage the burning sensation that began to radiate through his stomach. That’s going to bruise….

And then he noticed something strange.

His hand was… wet?

Pulling his hand from his stomach, he gazed down at it with high expectations to find the source of the wetness. After all, he had just been lying on the cold, wet floor before; there was condensation clearly visible. But this was different. Because it wasn’t a cold wet. It wasn’t a type of wet that was created from the moisture of the air or the Earth’s reaction to the winterly breeze waltzing through. This type of wet was warm. It was thick. It was even a bit sticky. And when his eyes finally laid upon his hand to see why it felt like this kind of wetness, he felt a cold chill run through his body - and it wasn’t because of the weather.

Blood.




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© weldherwings.


 




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    sunny days spent in our own little world we were princes and princesses, healers and knights. back when we made promises to stay together forever. it was a time i remember all too well; a time when we were us.

    kang mirae​






/* ------ right side ------ */

A sense of change flickered as much as it hissed; fading in and out like a star on the brink of obscurity before it could be witnessed. Notice me, it screamed into space, not knowing reality was too far away to hear. Perhaps, in another universe, things could have been different. Life could have been kinder, less drawn to riches and regret, but even the kindest of hearts could choose to ignore the pleas of the poor. Of the damned. All it took was to paint over cracks, hang up new portraits before the old ones could wane in beauty; a whisper in the mind, telling you that everything is fine, and you do not need to worry. Bleeding fantasies was how reality got tainted, wrong colors of light mixing with right colors of dark, creating a vision pretty but untrue.

Mi-rae sensed that something had happened with Sunny, starting with his uncharacteristically late arrival. Still, the instinct got buried like an unwanted feeling; hands of positivity strangled it into silence, leaving an empty space where hope could build its own kingdom. Everything was finally looking up again, so why disturb it? Mi-rae pictured towers of celebration, a gilded throne seating grand futures, bubbles sparkling in glasses as toasts to friendships echoed loudly — surely, things could not crumble this fast? Even she, with a brain unsuited for retaining academic information, had thought the Suneung was okay. Was it absolutely grueling to go through? Yes – and Mi-rae could very well see the results not being stellar — but she could also relish the fact that she survived and that she did better on the English Exam than she would’ve earlier this year. Sunny must have performed well, she was convinced, so that scenario being the cause of his current odd behavior had been dismissed before it could settle.

And, well, what else could there be?

Curious eyes prod the droplets of sweat running down the side of his face, head tilting to get a better look at his face. Was it her or did his face look paler than this morning? Mi-rae searched for a source, one that could not be found without asking, something she feared to do in case it ruined the mood even further. Besides, even if something had happened, was now the right timing to delve into it? Perhaps a distraction was the right move instead of an investigation. And maybe, she was truly just drawing clouds in crystal blue skies. Everything is fine, a voice whispered, hands shielding the eyes.

Everything was fine.

“It is odd to think such a big day has passed now, isn’t it? One moment, you see yourself studying like crazy and then suddenly poof ! you are walking out of the exam hall, feeling like you have run a marathon but like,, school wise. I don’t think I have experienced as much hand cramps as I did today, but hey– at least I didn’t break down during English!! Which is all thanks to you, by the way!” she gently nudged him, smiling.

“ I guess you could say that you were my good luck charm for that exam.” Speaking of good luck charms— the memory flashed, all bright and bustling. Her figure jolted, legs and arms scrambling to push herself up from the ground. No explanation given, Mi-rae rushed out of the living room, right to where the coat rack stood in the hallway. Greedy hands dove into the pockets, fingers clasping the small object previously burning to be handed over. She performed a small jump in excitement, before hurrying back, carrying the gift like one does while holding a sacred flame.

“Sunny ! Remember when you first asked me about my good luck charm? It was when we first met again, and, well, I had planned to gift you this before the exam, but now works too. I looked for one that is similar to the one you gifted me when we were kids–”





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  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about you and me. i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about the time when we were us.

    ho sunwoo​






/* ------ right side ------ */

Today was meant to be a good day.

Karma was meant to be on his side today.

The hair and skin on his body rose in the form of salutations. The sweat slowly crept from his forehead, tickling his brow as he attempted to focus on the television screen before him. With each passing blink of an eye, it took him twice as long to focus his vision once more as it blurred with a kaleidoscope flare. And despite still sporting his school blazer, buttoned up to provide a sense of warmth and security, a chill ran through his body that he couldn’t seem to wrangle. When he first arrived at Mi-Rae’s place, he thought he was okay. Using up all his toilet passes throughout the day, he had ensured the bandage he had stolen from the work first aid kit was applying pressure to his fresh wound. The adrenalin kicked through his body in random intervals, giving him spurts of energy to soldier through his exam before coming to low, downward crashes where he felt like he was going to pass out at any second.

Today was meant to be a good day.

Karma was meant to be on his side today.

And yet, here he was, experiencing yet another crash; he was on a rollercoaster ride that escalated upwards and onwards. But they were about to reach the pinnacle point of the ascending ride where the ground dropped from beneath them, and gravity would swallow them whole. Mi-Rae’s words were nothing more than a low rumble of a trombone, muffled as she expressed with such glee. It was only when he felt the nudge from the girl that he realised that she had been speaking to him, to which he gazed down at her from his spot on the couch and offered her a small, closed-lipped smile with little to no passion behind it. He could feel his lungs inside of his chest starting to rattle against his rib cage, creating vibrations against his already tired, fast-paced heart. It felt like he had been running for the last hour despite having not moved a muscle from the couch from the moment he had arrived at the Kang residence.

As Mi-Rae scrambled to her feet, much like a puppy excited to retrieve a new plush toy from its bed and return to its owner, Sun-Woo felt a wave of nausea rush over his body. His torso felt so incredibly heavy as he leant forward on the couch; his elbows rested on his thighs, and his body hunched over itself as he took a moment to focus on his breathing. Inhale… Exhale… he internally hummed to himself, shutting his eyes and using all remaining senses to listen and feel his breathing pattern. His heart rate echoed in his ears, pulsating and throbbing. A lonely drop of sweat ran from his brow, alongside his nose and dripped onto his arm. Keep it down… Keep it down… Another wave of nausea hit him, feeling the back of his throat clench in desperation. Dark, sullen eyes opened, glazed with shattered glass and coated with a gaussian blur, and once focused, the vision of Mi-Rae stood before him. She spoke with such radiant sunrays shining from her words, her face exploding with warmth. But no matter what she said, he couldn’t make sense of it, nor could he deny the feeling of the bile rising up in the back of his throat.

With what strength he was able to muster, Sun-Woo abruptly stood to his feet and made a straight line towards the bathroom with as much haste as possible. Pushing the door open with a bang!, allowing it to fling against the wall, he went straight to the sink as he feared the distance from his height to the toilet bowl. Elbows planted on either side of the sink on the countertop, Sun-Woo hunched over and with zero effort, a powerful surge of bile flowed from his mouth with great force and into the sink. Nauseous waves came and went like the shoreline being kissed by the ocean’s waves, and with each visitation, another heave followed by the contents of Sun-Woo’s already emptied stomach fell into the sink below him.

It had felt like he had just drunk a litre of gasoline, and someone had lit a match in his throat. The burning only continued to worsen with each involuntary gag and regurgitation, causing him to let out bursts of pained wails past his salivating lips unknowingly. And, despite his best efforts of trying to contain everything within the sink, there were friendly misfiring upon his own clothes. Trails of sick sprinkled slightly upon the countertop and splattered upon the sleeves of his navy school blazer. And yet, somehow, Sun-Woo thought that the vomit on his clothes and in Mi-Rae’s bathroom was the worst thing ever to happen. Little did he know that the pain radiating through his throat was only masking the blood continuing to gush from the open wound of his stomach and seeping through both bandage and the fabric of his school clothing.




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© weldherwings.


 




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  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    sunny days spent in our own little world we were princes and princesses, healers and knights. back when we made promises to stay together forever. it was a time i remember all too well; a time when we were us.

    kang mirae ​






/* ------ right side ------ */

Fantasy and fools danced together in its own Eden, grinning and oblivious to the trampled roses beneath their feet. In the distance, a tree of knowledge stood tall, watching and waiting ; branches creaked and groaned as the truths they carried became heavier and heavier with time. How long until it falls, staining this innocent paradise rouge? Something lurked on the horizon, right behind the rainbow of wonder. Call it some kind of reckoning or the simple verismo of a world flawed and vulnerable to hurt both knew. Knew they danced on borrowed time, hearts desperate to stay in this idyllic realm. But no matter how tightly their hands clasped, they would always come to lose each other. For reality would always follow them, dagger in hand and target determined.

Fantasies were never meant to live forever; they were always destined to die in the arms of a fool.

Pale faces met bright ones, lights glaring down at them as they highlighted more wrongs than rights. A cute moment took a different turn, and smiles dropped upon seeing a concerning sprint to the bathroom. Confusion turned into concern when rather unpleasant sounds started to travel from the bathroom to her, heartbeat accelerating alongside the steps taken to where her friend was. Everything was alright, a voice whispered into her head, now sounding awfully mocking.

"Sunny?" she called out softly, heartbeat in her throat and hand placed against the door. A small, careful push followed, allowing herself a closer peek to the poor state of her friend. Well, you have poor and then you have poor — Sunny definitely looked like the latter. Half a ghost hunched the sink, grasping its stone like it was life he was holding onto. One heart beat weakly while another one stopped. "Sunny!" she rushed to his side, alarm ringing in her ears. An awful smell from the vomit attacked her once standing next to him, but Mi-rae swallowed down her own nauseousness for the sake of helping her friend.

Arms wrapped around him, eager to form a pillar of support; hands traveled, right until encountering something wet and leaking. Eyes lowered in confusion, before widening as crimson painted her palms. Unable to progress everything for a second, Mi-rae could only stare at the blood on her shaking hand. Everything was fine, someone cried inside, half hopeless and half hoping it was a lie capable of becoming a truth. Tremors break balances in rooms that creep in; was it her or the ground that trembled right now? Suddenly, Sun-woo felt awfully heavy yet weak in her arms, both their bodies falling onto the ground.

This was when a deep panic flooded and Eden crumbled. Darkness seeped into light while the garden burned till all remained was smoke and ash; the barrier between utopia and earth shattered, allowing vices and flaws to run amok. Branches broke, red fruits splattered.

Fantasy fell.

And the Fool screamed for her mom.

After this, memories blurred with the tears. All Mi-rae could remember was clasping Sun-woo's hand as tightly as she could, afraid they were on borrowed time. All she could mumble through the sobs was that everything would be okay, even if it wouldn't be. All she could do was bury herself in her mother's embrace as her friend was carried into the operation room, pleading for this reality to be kind instead of cruel. It didn't matter if all her future fantasies had to die; as long as he would live, she'd be alright with never dreaming again.




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© weldherwings.


 




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  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about you and me. i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about the time when we were us.

    ho sunwoo​






/* ------ right side ------ */

As arms wrapped themselves around his body, providing the stable foundation his swaying body so desperately craved, Sun-Woo thought he could hear something. Was it the sound of his best friend frantically coming to his aid, her words entangled with such great fear and alertness? Oddly enough, it wasn’t. Mi-Rae’s calls were cast out by the never-ending, one-tone humming pitch of white noise ringing in his ears. However, the sound he heard over the irritating volume was a voice he had thought he had forgotten. One he regretted never recording so he could spend his nights rewinding, playing and repeating until the batteries were drained. The voice called to him lightly, progressively drawing nearer until it took the full attention of the boy. It rooted itself deep into his chest, with an explosion of warmth eradicating his body as it did so. Sun-Woo’s legs wobbled before the weight of his body was too heavy to hold up any longer. He was tired. He was weak. And the voice continued to call to him.

Sun-Woo!

Dark, sullen eyes rolled to the back of his head as his chin pointed towards the sky. As gravity took hold of his body, dragging him towards the floor in its natural progression, he felt a hand take hold of him. A new, fresh breath slipped past his lips, gasping for the sweet sensation of whatever this was. A sense of familiarity filled the air, sweet honey lingered on his lips as he gazed over his shoulder, catching a glance of the scene before him. A panicked Mi-Rae with a blood-curdling scream pouring from her mouth, calling for her mother to come as the tears drizzled from her eyes. The image of himself, pale-faced, unresponsive and showing no strength or attempt to hold onto the life force left in his body. Mrs Kang charging her way to the bathroom, taking a moment to inhale and drink in the picture of her daughter sobbing over the boy she had called her friend practically her whole life as the blood pooled on the tiles of the bathroom floor. And then he heard it again.

Sun-Woo!

He glanced towards the sound of the voice. The brightness and saturation of white blinded the bathroom out of existence. He stood there by himself, and yet there was no fear. An overwhelming pressure dropped upon his head, flowing with peace throughout his body. The voice called out once more; Sun-Woo stood still as he gazed into the distance of the room that had once been filled with his friend and her mother moments away from grieving his body. There he stood. The last time he had seen him, his face had been sunken, the spark in his eye was no longer there, and his skin was entangled with colours varying from white, grey, blue, purple and yellow. But here he stood, his arms wide, healthy and no longer drowning from the illness that had taken his life.

“Appa”

Arms embraced each other’s bodies, welcoming the younger boy home like the prodigal son. His father kissed his head, placing a peck on top of it for every second he had been without his dear son. And while the reunion was heartwarming, there was still a presence amongst them, lingering in the light as they awaited their turn. A woman stood patiently, her eyes glazed over with smiling crescent tears, her face creasing with little shame of her appearance as she stood before the two. Sun-Woo’s eyes gazed over his father’s shoulder, catching a glance over at the woman. He had never seen her before in his life, nor did her appearance resemble any sort of familiarity. But as the corners of her mouth turned upwards, he felt her love radiate and take hold of him, waltzing with his heart across a ballroom floor.

“Umma!” the boy wailed, extending his arm towards the woman like a child crying out for their mother after falling off their bike for the very first time. Tears poured down his face as his heart ached for her touch. For the first time in seventeen years, the Ho family held each other close. Arms embracing one another and their hearts beating in complete unison. Tears fell from their eyes as his mother confessed her guilt for leaving him behind at such a young age, and his father begged for forgiveness for bringing him into such a mess. They kissed every part of his head and cheeks, their lips healing every piece of broken soul left in his body. And finally, they championed him; their words were the sweet honey upon his lips that he could taste before. They told him that he still had so much left to do, and their hearts were sore from the pride and joy they felt watching him.

A jolt ran through his body, lightning running through his veins and firing from his tips. Eyes flung open as an intense gasp of air came from his lips; his lungs ached as if he had been swallowing water as he swam the bedrock of Marina’s Trench. “He’s back” a voice rang out in his ears as the hurried sounds of nurses and doctors attached and detached objects and items from his body. The notorious sound of machines beeping itched his ears as he tried to focus on what was happening around him despite his vision being blurred. A mask placed over his mouth startled him, panic running through his body only to have a nurse reassure him that it was okay. With the mask over his face, the nurses encouraged him to start counting back from ten.

Ten.

He wanted to go back…

Nine.

To where it was peaceful.

Eight.

That light room where he stood with his mother and father, embracing them and spending those precious moments with them.

Seven.

“Umma… Appa…” his hoarse voice croaked, his final attempt to climb back into the arms of his family.

Six.

He was out.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

That patronizing machine echoed in his ears once more.

Eyelashes flickered momentarily as his eyes found the strength to open fully. The light above him, whilst providing the brightness and saturation he had been desperately searching for, blinded him momentarily. Once adjusted, Sun-Woo’s eyes drifted across the room. It took a moment to process exactly where he was, his cognitive skill drained from the near-death experience he had been so blessed to have dealt with. He was in a hospital. Fear pooled in his stomach. But as his eyes continued their attempt to focus, he was finally able to make out the name of the hospital on the whiteboard on the wall in front of the bed; Korea University Anam Hospital.

Why did that name sound so familiar?

Then it hit him. The fear that was once lurking in his stomach was now drenched in dread. This was a private hospital. A private hospital. A quick glance down to the hospital gown upon his body confirmed that this was not a dream afterall. Adrenalin boosted through his body as he now came to a decision: fight or flight. He could stay around, find out how much it was going to cost and discover that everything was okay. Or he could do what he did best; run. The second option sounded a heck of a lot easier. His decision-making process gave him that boost he needed to climb out of the hospital bed. Even when he felt a wave of nausea and a sting radiate from his side, he pressed on with fear fueling his actions. Despite being hooked to various machines through a catheter, Sun-Woo made the conscious decision to rid of them last. First, he was on the hunt for his clothes.

Having been around hospitals so often while his father was sick, he knew that his clothes would be in a plastic bag on the bottom of the bars of the bed. With that, he was correct. Without a second to waste, he tore the bag open only to find the final pieces of what he had left to his name; his shoes and socks, school pants and a blood-drenched jacket. A frown came to his face, wondering where his school shirt had been left behind, but I suppose he would never know the fate of the shirt that was torn apart with scissors as the paramedics had arrived to find the source of the bleeding. He pulled on his pants and prompted to sit on the floor as he placed his socks and shoes on, not even bothering to tie them up, before standing to his full height… gradually. Feeling another wave of lightheadedness, Sun-Woo had to take a second before finally pulling himself up once more, grinding his teeth in pain as he did so. He tucked in the hospital gown into his pants, hoping to generate some sort of illusion that he was wearing a shirt. Finally, he placed one arm into his school blazer before bringing his attention to the catheter in his arm.

Alright. It was show time.

Sun-Woo deeply inhaled through his nose as his hand lunged towards the needle embedded into his skin and tore it out. Before he could even give a chance for the machine to react, he was off. Placing his other arm into the blazer, holding the sides over his gown acting as a shirt, Sun-Woo opened up the door to the room and stuck his head out. Not a nurse in sight. It was time to go. Quick feet scurried him out of his bedroom and down the corridor before pausing for a minute up against the wall as he reached the end. Where the hell was he even going? He had no clue which floor he was even on or if there was even an elevator. Pressing his dry, cracked lips in dismay, he turned his head around the corner to see if it was clear to pass by.

Check.

Once more, he was on his way. Where was he aiming for? Even he didn’t know. For all he knew, he was heading straight for a dead end. But there was a hope buried deep inside of him that he would find some sort of salvation. Wether it was in the form of stairs or an elevator, he really didn’t care. All he knew was that he was desperate to be saved.





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  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    sunny days spent in our own little world we were princes and princesses, healers and knights. back when we made promises to stay together forever. it was a time i remember all too well; a time when we were us.

    kang mirae ​






/* ------ right side ------ */

Chambers of the heart trembled while the soul swallowed its own light in order not to fall apart; sometimes, nightmares leaked into the world and you could feel its ichor dripping, right into the eyes. Right into you. In this day terror, fear clawed its way through everything, tearing apart flesh and breaking bones, going deeper and deeper until there was nothing more left to wreck. What if he died— what if I can’t see him again? Something was slipping right through her fingers, something she could not bear to lose; a smile drenched in kindness, a voice of serene waves, a handsome face drawn by fate’s hands— Sun-woo could not leave her like this, all a mess and all alone. The air she inhaled felt like knives in her throat, sharp blades shredding breaths, and all she could taste was pain.

Mi-rae was not the one dying but something inside didn’t feel alive anymore; hope had always been a feeble thing, so easily snuffed out with a breath of despair, but it always came back.

It was supposed to come back.

She desperately tried to find her way back through the dark and the rubble, fingers stretching for any sliver of sunshine, any glimmer of hope. All that was found, however, was pure carnage; all she could see was the tragedy in splatters of blood and broken promises stapled to the soul's crumbling ceiling. The shattering of her world was silent, but the wasteland of an aftermath was not. Whispers climbing up and up—it’s all your fault, It’s all your fault. Voices echoed while her heart screamed— I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. To who? Sunny, who was on the brink of disappearing forever? Hana, who didn’t know anything about what happened to her boyfriend yet? Her mother, who had to live with having such a selfish and foolish daughter? Anyone?

Everyone.

Pleads to the heavens spelled wishes to punish the sinner instead of the saint; he who did nothing wrong and she who didn’t do all of this right, didn’t they deserve better and worse? Mi-rae prayed, despite not believing, she prayed to give Sun-woo his life back. On her knees, she prayed, all while willing to sacrifice herself. I can take it, she swore, everything bad, i will take it— just don ‘t take him away. Please…

Maybe god decided to accept her deal that day, for a ghost decided to roam the halls, quick and pale. Mi-rae had to blink a couple of times to ensure reality was not playing any tricks on her. It was only when she spotted the familiar school blazer that everything seeped in. Mi-rae’s heart jumped before her body did.

“Sunny!!” her frame crashed into his on purpose, arms wrapping around the one who almost got away. New tears flooded as she buried her face into his neck, sobs of relief jumbling together with cries of guilt. “I was so afraid I would never see you again !! You were bleeding so badly and the doctors said that your heart stopped and– and — i’m so sorry, this is all my fault. I noticed that you were acting differently but didn’t do anything about it ! I ignored it and because of me you almost died, no– you died and you came back but you almost didn’t and I can’t believe I almost lost you. I’m so sorry Sunny–”





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  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about you and me. i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about the time when we were us.

    ho sunwoo​






/* ------ right side ------ */

“Sunny!”

Wide-eyed, a deer caught in the headlights of an incoming heavy-duty truck, Sunwoo stood still in his spot praying that his sudden pause of movement would hinder the person calling his name from seeing him. Arms took hold of his body with an iron grip, pulling him close and enveloping his being. Pain spiked from his stomach, his gut clenching in desperation to escape the paralyzing ache that began to radiate through his body and spike to his head. A wailing mess stood against him, their head buried into his neck and tears flowing without ceasing. Still caught in the aftershock, the rumbling tremors, after having his world literally shaken by the grasp of those arms, Sunwoo’s mind took a bit longer to process everything that was happening around him.

Her cries and jumbled words collided into a pile of mess, something Sunwoo was struggling to decipher and clean up. There were apologies and mentions of faults, but the words refused to make any sort of meaning in his mind. He could clearly hear the words, but where they came from or what they meant made no sense to his brain as it tried to slowly catch up to the speed of life. It was long into the melodramatic monologue that the voice finally lined up with his thoughts. He finally understood and realised who it was that was clinging to his body like her life depended on it. Mirae.

The sound of shuffling heels and crocs nearby caught his ear, prompting his gaze to flicker upwards and confirm a collection of nurses making their way back to their bay down the corridor which he had just escaped from. Thankfully, he was able to use Mirae’s distress as a cover-up as his hands weakly raised to the side of her shoulders and he buried his own head into the side of her head. There was nothing more to see here than two mourning teenagers, waiting to hear the result of their friend’s surgery. That was the story the nurses would be told if they were approached.

As the sound began to subside, the crocs and heels gleefully crossing paths with the two teenagers and down the corridor to their station, out of sight, Sunwoo exhaled deeply. “Mirae-” he began, his voice unsteady, trembling as he struggled to speak with the confidence he projected (and faked) for many years. He lifted his head, giving the girl a small nudge to move backwards so he could look at her directly, all the while his hands still planted onto the sides of her shoulders. Eye contact was made; her tear-struck eyes met with his glassy, exhausted ones. They say the eyes were the window to the soul. He could see Mirae’s soul from just a glance. Her crushing fear and regret flooded her, with the weight of regret holding her down from sprouting like the fresh, blooming flower she was destined to be. For a split second, he wondered what his might’ve looked like. Had he finally let down the guard he held up for so long, too weak, timid and fragile to keep holding it? He would just have to distract her from seeing what he was hoarding in his soul.

“Mirae-” he said once more as he got her attention “We need to go. Right now” His lips felt dry, causing him to lightly trail them with his tongue only to come to the realisation that they had felt such a way because his mouth as also dry. A sense of urgency radiated through his body. Standing here for even just another second longer was only feeding the greedy little gremlin that sat idly in his gut, causing an influx of anxiousness. “We need to go” He once again told her, starting to sound like a madman, as if his rambling thoughts and words were going unheard by the girl. The panic began to rise in his chest, and each passing second only brought on new fears.

Why weren’t they moving?

A voice could heard from the distance, echoing through those same damn corridors. “-not there. Call a code yellow” the voice distinctly said. He could feel his lower lip begin to tremble, and his eyes strained from ensuring no tear would pass. “Mirae. Mirae, please.” his voice was strangled in desperation as he raised his hands from his friend’s shoulders and placed them upon her cheeks in hopes of having her full attention. “Please, the doctors said it was okay for me to go. We can just go, okay?” He continued to affirm the girl, nodding in agreeance with his sentences despite being full of lies. At that moment, something overcame Sunwoo, flooding over his body. His dry lips trembled despite his efforts to hold them still, and his eyes continued to glass over, virtually on the verge of tears falling from them.

Sunwoo was not a cryer. Even as a child, there were only very few moments in life where tears would’ve fallen from those eyes. But here he stood, one blink away from letting every emotion he had ever shoved down for the past eighteen years. “Mirae” he said her name once more, his voice small and quivering “Please… Can we…” Sunwoo paused for a second before releasing a question that was entangled with so much sadness it could black out even the brightest suns on a Summer day. With each passing second, his voice became smaller and smaller until he was only able to muster his next question as a whisper.

“Can we go see Appa? Please?”




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© weldherwings.


 




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  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    sunny days spent in our own little world we were princes and princesses, healers and knights. back when we made promises to stay together forever. it was a time i remember all too well; a time when we were us.

    kang mirae ​






/* ------ right side ------ */

Words strangled in panic, trembles from the deepest roots; there was a tug of desperation, of fear. Something bellowed in the deep marrow of his bones; perhaps pieces of the soul that had splintered along the way, the ones that resided on the bottom of the human well, shackled by resolve and stomped on by shame. Sun-woo was a man who had escaped death, and yet, he looked like he was still being chased by it. Mi-rae didn't understand the sea of emotions crashing in his eyes, was confused by his pleads to go, but most of all, she was startled by deepest loch of anguish she had ever seen in a person. Sunny looked so awfully wrecked that any protests died in her throat. For someone who had just been bawling her own eyes out a few seconds ago, she was suddenly exhibiting a rare amount of strength. What Sunny needed now was not a storm, unstable and destabilizing; he needed a sun's breathe. Something halcyon amidst hell.

Mi-rae grasped both her friend's cold, trembling hands, and spoke words of soft reassurance.

"It's okay Sunny. We will go to your father, okay? Let me just tell my mom-''

Mrs Kang, who had still been present as well, rounded the corner with two cups of tea in her hand. Upon noticing her daughter and a certain patient, she quickly placed the two cups on the seats and approached the two. While Mi-rae could not possibly understand the reason why Sun-woo looked so frightened, Mrs Kang could immediately put the puzzle pieces together. Call it wisdom of having lived enough life, or call it simply a parent's instinct; she spoke up like a mother would do to her child.

"Oh my dear Sun-woo, please do not worry about the costs, me and my husband agreed to pay them." there was a flinch of authority waving as she continued, "and do not even think about needing to pay it back. The only thing we take as repayment is you recovering." Mi-rae's mom placed a hand on his shoulder, gaze softening into one with as much empathy as motherly affection. "I don't know what happened for you to get such a wound, but please know we are here for you dear... Let us help you, you do not have to do everything alone."






/* ------ credit -- do not remove ------ */

© weldherwings.


 




/* ------ left side ------ */




/* ------ tabs ------ */









  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about you and me. i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about the time when we were us.

    ho sunwoo​






/* ------ right side ------ */

Complete desperation flooded through his body as he waited for his friend’s response. They say that people do some crazy, stupid things when they’re desperate. Sun-Woo liked to believe that he had his head screwed on just right to eradicate that theory. Despite his upbringing, slurs thrown towards him at school, and the hurdles that he had to overcome during his time here on Earth, he was confident in his intelligence. He knew he was a good student and great worker. Any challenging question thrown his way (minus anything that required perspective of social interactions and relationships), he knew he could answer it. Even as he stood before his childhood best friend, quite clearly not okay to be walking around let alone leaving the hospital, he told himself that he was smart.

The dear boy was, in fact, not smart at all in this moment.

An exhaled, shuddering breath fell from his quivering lips as he felt Mi-Rae’s hands clasp around his own before she spoke with such sweet honey to her words. Her words fell onto his ears like a remedy for his broken heart, the weight slowly starting to lift from his shoulders. For a micro-second, it felt as if her hands were no longer holding his hands but embracing his withering heart with such warmth. But, as mentioned, it was only for a micro-second or so. Because as soon as she uttered the last part of her sentence, he could feel her hand grasp tight around his sore, fragile, pulsating heart before ripping it through his chest. The weight that had been lifted from his shoulders came crashing down once more like a boulder being dropped into the Marina Trenches as it dragged him down into the deep darkness of nothingness.

“Mi-Rae, no-!” his eyes widened in intense fear, his hands slipping from her grasp as his fight or flight instinct rattled havoc inside of his core. He should’ve just kept walking before. He should’ve left the room earlier. He should’ve never gone to Mi-Rae’s house after school. There were so many regrets replaying in his mind like an old scratched, skipping record. But before he could move away from his friend and make an escape from the dragging consumption of additional debt in his life, he heard Mrs Kang address him.

She spoke with such elegance and authority that as Sun-Woo went to respond to her statements, his voice was nowhere to be seen. That’s just it; they were statements. She was telling him that they would pay for the cost of the hospital. A stutter fell from his mouth as he attempted to combine the sounds to create a sentence that resembled a protest and that he would work to pay it back to them. However, Mrs Kang’s voice outshined his feeble whimper, beating him to it by declaring that there were no repayments needed apart from his recovery. The protest only continued to bubble in his chest, furiously roaring to be released. But as she placed a hand upon his shoulder, and their eyes met, those mighty roars began to fade.

‘Let us help you, You do not have to do everything alone’

For before them once stood a young man, stubbornly driven to venture through life solo, refusing to take any assistance or handouts. But as soon as Mrs Kang placed her hand upon his shoulder, gazed upon him with such motherly love, and spoke with such kindness, it triggered something. Out emerged a child, confused to why he couldn’t play with his best friend anymore, riddled with anxieties that his Appa would leave him like his Umma did, and constantly looked down upon for living a life of poverty despite it not being a choice. The moment Mrs Kang gently spoke to him, it was evident that this ten-year-old boy had been pushed back for far too long. Sun-Woo had been continuously looking towards the future and what Adult Sun-Woo needed to survive in the world that he had neglected and abused his inner child.

His lips quivered, and no matter how hard he pressed them together, there was no stopping their trembles. Eyes that had been glassed over had finally reached a tipped point, overflowing and pouring down his cheeks. Ashamed of the emotions overcoming him, he bowed his head and covered his face with his hands. Inhaling deeply, his chest prang with pain as his lung rattled in his chest. No matter how hard he attempted to stop it, it just kept coming and increasing with every passing second. A crack in the jug, slowly chipping away until unable to hold any more water. Motherly arms wrapped around his body, embracing and encapsulating him into a loving hug, and it cracked him. Every ounce of emotion, every single moment he had wanted to cry since he was a child, everything he had shoved down deep into the pits of his despair, came flooding out in the arms of Mrs Kang.

She stood there, holding him and patting the back of his head as he broke down, sobbing out his heart and soul. A wail of words, strangled by the lack of control and oxygen flowing through his lungs, came along with the tears. He tried to apologise, he asked for forgiveness, he mentioned paying them back, and tried to apologise once again. But the last thing he said before letting out a heart-wrenching, gut-hitting sob was the most audible out of them all.

“I can’t do this anymore”





/* ------ credit -- do not remove ------ */

© weldherwings.


 




/* ------ left side ------ */




/* ------ tabs ------ */









  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    holding her was never enough. i needed to melt into her. mix our colors like paint. fuse our atoms. but that as well, would never be enough.

    hwang joon-jae ​






/* ------ right side ------ */

A prince like him, born to an underworld king, could only grow up with everlasting wealth but a bottomless appetite in light. Shadows followed him, day and night, drawn to the star that shone despite a moon’s wane: with sewn smiles and shallow sonnets, they wished to gather affection from the prince who could change their lives for the better, uncaring about the soul underneath the crown. He didn’t blame them for their greed, for their wish to be more than a jester in court or a servant to high society. Prestige was a prize to those at the feet of the halcyon hills, and a weapon to those in the mansions overlooking the world beneath them. A crumb for those who beg, a coin for those with the right glint of devotion: this is what he gives them, oh so benevolent and willing to help those in need. But where there was kindness in words, cruelty existed in silence. And the prince did not take kindly to those who took more than they deserved.

Not when the light he long searched for was finally his.

It was true that this love story between the prince and peasant unfolded like a fairy tale: the first fated meeting a crashing of bodies in high school halls. Clumsy collided with delayed caution, followed by embarrassed flushes and amused tilts of a smile. It was when a prince raised in a realm of superficiality met one who could not exude more genuine emotion. A sun had ascended into a midnight sky, dazzling the starved star with its radiance. It happened with her fall, but before the next turning of time, the star suddenly didn’t mind falling a little bit, too. Just to be closer to the sun, just to keep her light. Maybe it did start out was wanting to have the things you didn’t have--- perhaps his feelings weren’t growing from a place of infatuation, but more so greedy curiosity. Still, Jae could now say without a doubt that he loved her, that he would do anything to keep her his.

That’s why Sun-woo was a problem, an insect that needed to be eradicated before it could land in their lives and never leave. Jae did not believe in the romantic relationship between Hana and Sun-woo, knew how to catch pretend with all the pretenders he grew up with. It was a ruse meant to conceal something else, something Jae had no trouble in digging up from its grave if needed. Oh Sun-woo, if only you were better at hiding your feelings. Maybe then, he didn’t have to resort to investigating what kind of secrets you harbored: you could have gone on with that silly dream of yours, could have even been graced with a prince’s charitable donation if you remained pitiful enough. Alas, the eyes betrayed more than they should’ve.

And you, Sun-woo, you got a little bit too close to one’s family.

Got a bit too much love in your heart for the wrong person.

A black car pulled up to the driveway of the Kang residence: inside were two older men and a younger one.

“It is best to go in first alone but come and ring the bell in approximately ten minutes.” Jae instructed the others. Both the short and stocky man bowed in response.

“Of course, Mr. Hwang Joon-jae.”

Jae proceeded to exit the car, walking up to the door and ringing the bell. Of course, it was no surprise to see Sun-woo as the door opened, knowing that the leech was there to recover from some unfortunate wounds. Both Mi-rae and her parents were at work, that he was aware of too. But it is not they, he sought. No, his person of interest was standing right in front of him, all alone.

Jae’s smile stretched a bit wider than usual.

“Ah, hello . I don’t know if Mi-rae informed you about our date in about an hour, but my work was finished a bit earlier than expected, and well, you know how much of a bother traffic can be sometimes. So I figured to just travel directly and wait till she comes home.”

He extends his hand that holds a white bag with red strings and a caligraphed name that spells Haeindam.

"And before I forget, this for you: some ginseng to help with your hopefully speedy recovery."

Call it something sweet to attract the vermin. A preview of how things could be for Sun-woo if he was as smart as he positioned himself to be.




/* ------ credit -- do not remove ------ */

© weldherwings.


 




/* ------ left side ------ */




/* ------ tabs ------ */









  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about you and me. i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about the time when we were us.

    ho sunwoo​






/* ------ right side ------ */

Fifteen days.

Fifteen days ago, they were preparing for the most intense exam that they could even fathom. Hours, days, weeks and even years were spent focusing on this one silly day-long test that would determine their future for the rest of their life. It was fifteen days ago that Sun-Woo found himself confronted by two brutes in the alleyway behind his workplace who exchanged his belongings for an open wound. Fifteen days ago, he kept a straight face and pretended like everything was ok. He took part in his recurring role in this ongoing play that he was the main star in. He needed to perform to the worst critics and the brightest-eyed attendees, who were excited to see how the plot would form. However, this evening's performance was riddled with unscripted plot twists and one that almost took the life of the young actor performing.

It had been fifteen days since he decided to retire from the theatre.

Mrs. Kang encouraged him to find his strength through the love and support of their family. She had spoken into the universe that Sun-Woo, despite depriving of the Oh family, was a part of the Kang family now. As the police officers attended his room, questioning him of his bag and how he was assaulted, she sat by his side and held his hand. When questioned about who his guardian was, she stood up and declared that she was despite the lack of paperwork proving such a thing, but were the officers really going to inspect all of that?. He was in the hospital for a grand total of eight days, having spent three of those days going back and forth with surgery for peritonitis. And the whole time, Mrs Kang was there. Day and night, she was true to her word on it all. Even paying for the hospital bill that Sun-Woo knew he would have a heart attack if he caught a glimpse at it.

On the ninth day, he was well enough to go home and start recovering there.

Home? But where was that exactly? Thanks to the long-winded investigations of the police officers and the overwhelming trip that his guilt dragged him through, Sun-Woo had been completely honest with the Kang family. Told them about his father’s passing from cancer just over a year ago. That he had sought help from loan sharks to pay for the cost of his father’s hospital bills and funeral. And that he honestly didn’t have a home anymore. Anyone that he knew from his old childhood neighbourhood was long gone now, also buried six feet under, probably caused by an onslaught of diseases caught from living in such poverty. His own childhood home was now in complete rumbles, having fallen over the year his father had been admitted into the care of the hospital due to the combination of termites, a poorly structured build and a wild monsoon breeze. And so, it had been decided that he would come and live with them.

No if, ands, or buts.

Staying with the Kang family was… he couldn’t pinpoint it.

He felt almost like he had to be on his best behaviour, almost like when he was a child. His father would tell him to be respectful, never to make a mess and not to be too comfortable whenever at someone else’s home. That people would treat you for how you presented yourself, and his Appa had always tried to mould his son into an upstanding, humble young man. They didn’t take handouts, and they didn’t let money decipher what they were capable of doing. Even as Sun-Woo slept at the Kang’s residence, he found himself waking up multiple times during the night to ensure that he was, in fact, allowed to be asleep and he wasn’t disrespecting anyone in doing so. Even as they finished with their meals, Sun-Woo was hellbent in trying to clear the table or clean the dishes (to with he was often shooed away from).

It wasn’t until the fifteenth day since being stabbed that he was starting to feel… well… at home.

The whole family was returning back to their normal routine, especially with Sun-Woo starting to show greater signs of healing. For the first time in a long time, Mrs Kang actually felt confident enough to leave the boy by himself for extended periods of time. As she had helped with his bandaging in the morning, cleaning the healing area with the equipment the hospital had given them, she began to list down to him all the things she wanted him to do today. Lie on the couch, watch television, rest, and eat what ever you want in the fridge. It was a surreal experience to him to have such freedom like this. When all of the Kang family were gone for the day, Sun-Woo made his way to the living area and slowly brought himself to a seated position on the couch with a blanket; not without wincing slightly as a shot of pain ran through his body. For half an hour, he sat there with the television playing. Mrs Kang’s words echoed in his mind, reminding him to rest. She… she said to lie down he thought to himself, looking down at the couch he sat on. So… it wouldn’t be rude, would it? Adjusting the blanket, he began to gradually position himself into a lying position. Within seconds, he was fast asleep.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Dark eyes shot open.

How long had he been asleep?

Fluffy strands of hair stuck up on its ends as he lifted his head to catch sight of the clock in the room. Well… it seemed as if he had had a three-hour nap. That wasn’t too bad, was it? But wait - the door bell. Mrs Kang had mentioned about a potential delivery today. Through half-opened, tried eyes, Sun-Woo pushed himself up onto his feet (a bit too quickly for his body’s liking, a pain radiating like a hot coal in the pit of his stomach) and made his way to the front door. Upon opening the door, the sunlight greeted him first, practically blinding him. And then a somewhat familiar voice met his ears as they began to speak.

Wait - Jae?

Sun-Woo was still waking up from his nap, almost feeling that he was stuck in a state of slumber. An extended hand presented him with a white bag to which he gazed at it in a curious nature. What was… Sun-Woo took hold of the bag, giving the other boys a respectful head bow and a half awake “thank you” before looking down at the items inside. Oh, ginseng. “Oh, wow” The sight of the expensive packets of medicine had rattled him enough to try and get it together a bit more in the presence of Mi-Rae’s boyfriend. “How generous. Thank you” he said before offering him another subtle bow. Wait… why did Jae say he was here again? It wasn’t just to give the ginseng to him, was it?

“Did you… did you want to come inside?” Sun-Woo managed to drag out, trying to cover any evidence that he had just awoken from a rather deep slumber - but was failing miserably. “I can make you a drink if you’d like?”





/* ------ credit -- do not remove ------ */

© weldherwings.


 




/* ------ left side ------ */




/* ------ tabs ------ */









  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    holding her was never enough. i needed to melt into her. mix our colors like paint. fuse our atoms. but that as well, would never be enough.

    hwang joon-jae ​






/* ------ right side ------ */

Something was leaking from the dark and deep crevices of his being; a coldness that rattled bones matched with a fire that decimated villages. Both were weapons of war hidden beneath the holy march of a smile, the figure posing himself as the merciful prince rather than the cruel tyrant. Devotion tolerated the presence of outsiders near the borders of his kingdom for longer than usual — and Jae even pardoned the few steps across the line— but even one so disgustingly different should have known what was to come should he remain where he shouldn't. Love was what tore the peace apart, the heart was what called the arms for battle and bloodshed. Yes, it was love. Nothing else. Jae merely moved to protect the one he held dearest, knowing far too much about Sun-woo's tendencies to disappear and leave everything behind. It was best for Mi-rae to watch him disappear sooner than later, before her precious little heart could grow so fond it could never be repaired again upon shattering. Sun-woo would inevitably break her heart, Jae was sure of it. So, he was going to do what every caring boyfriend would do: fight in her stead and shield her from the worst.

And so his soldiers laid in waiting while he spoke in the art of deceptive diplomacy, smile widening slightly.

"If you don't mind." Jae was already walking past him before any other response could be accorded. His gaze immediately traveled to the blanket on the couch, the distant noise of the tv playing in the background. It appeared that the parasite was already adopting a comfort akin to being home. Unseen twitches of jealousy— no, protective love— burned the blanket and everything the vermin might have touched in the mind. " I apologize if I woke you up from your sleep... It looks like it was....quite a deep one." eyes narrowed to the wayward strands on his head.

Unknown thoughts flickered, ones that were conjured for show but not for telling; the character seemed to be in contemplation for a moment, before exuding a sigh that traveled from far and deep, as if the following words held the weight and importance of fate. For a moment, emotions flowed freely from the otherwise impassive mask. Conjured sentiments waltzed within the dark eyes of a prince suddenly overcome by a truth he had only just uncovered. Remorse was the muse in this first act, and Jae could only begin with the slow shake of a head.

"Mi-rae told me about the attack, and I....I wish to give you my sincere apologies for what happened." The prince briefly bowed in front of the peasant, a motion that would come undeniably as a surprise to Sun-woo. Jae proceeded to speak further to elaborate, carefully placing the tone and words where they needed to be. "But I am also aware that words hold little value when the wounds are deep, so please allow me to make it up to you with this-" he opened the front door and motioned to his soldiers in the car. The perpetrators of the attack.

Both of the men exited the car and walked into the house, before getting on their knees in front of Sun-woo, heads lowered. Jae folded his arms, gaze sharpening as he looked down on these aggressors with feigned disgust.

"It took me some time to figure out who of my father's men were responsible and to convince my father to hand them over to me, but I luckily succeeded. Ah, you must be wondering why I brought them here. Well, it came to my idea that the best apology would be for you to decide over their fate, just as they decided yours that night." A silence permeated the room, one he quickly took advantage of. A finger tapped against his cheek, eyebrows furrowing in another deep thought. "Or perhaps, it is not enough. They did almost take away your life, and with that your dream to help the poor and the sick evade the same fate of your father.." a thin smile slowly grew on his face again. "I could ask father to let go of your debt..... but you don't like handouts, do you Sun-woo?"

The prince took a step closer, the guilt melting into something far colder.

"We can make a deal if you want. I will ensure your debt is forgotten and give you this," a shiny credit card appeared from his pocket, the sleek glint matching the scheming stars in one's gaze. "a card that comes with enough funds to afford any university and apartment you want. You can start anew Sun-woo, and the only thing you have to do in return is something you are already good at." Hatred seeped into those eyes, and looking at a girlfriend's friend became looking at an intruder to be exiled. This time, Jae did not hold back the venom injected in every following syllable:

"Run away. Without a word." he spit.

"And don't come back into her life again."




/* ------ credit -- do not remove ------ */

© weldherwings.


 
Last edited:




/* ------ left side ------ */




/* ------ tabs ------ */









  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about you and me. i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about the time when we were us.

    ho sunwoo​






/* ------ right side ------ */

As Jae ventured inside, Sunwoo took a moment to gaze outwards of the door; there was something that was looming in the air today that was making him on edge. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to mess up the Kang family’s delivery that they were expecting. Maybe he was a little stressed that one of the family members would come home and find him being a bit too comfortable, even though they had encouraged him to do so. Or maybe it was because it was the first time in over two weeks that he was on his own once more. The first time since it happened. Sunwoo was training his guards and setting up fortresses to protect what little he had left of his kingdom. All the while, trying to make peace with the neighbouring towns. So, after a slight pause and glance to the outside world. Sunwoo softly closed the door after the other boy.

Somewhat quick bare feet hit against the timber flooring as Sunwoo attempted to move as gracefully and hastily as possible towards the open kitchen area to retrieve Jae the drink he had offered. Afterall, he didn’t want to be a bad host even though this wasn’t his house to be a host for. Jae’s apology caused him to raise a brow for a moment, curious to how he might have known he had been asleep. Well, apart from the obvious I suppose. Eyes widened slightly, his original target of the kitchen now being redirected to the couch where the blanket he had been using was sprawled across. “Uh… yeah” his mouse-like voice gave a soft, subtle shake as he took the blanket in his hands and began to fold it neatly. “The uh… medicine for the pain… Knocks me out a bit”

Placing the blanket on the side of the couch, Sunwoo proceeded his way back to the open kitchen area to get that drink once more. While he could’ve asked Jae what specifically he wanted to sip on, he already knew the answer from the number of times Mi-Rae’s boyfriend had been over. It was always the same, and never changing; water. Just plain water from the fridge dispenser. That... was something Sunwoo could do with absolute ease. As he took hold of a clean glass in his hands, he heard Jae’s voice once again. He paused, watching as the other spoke with such elegance and even bowed - oh, he bowed? Sunwoo’s automatic response was to give a brief bow also, almost instantly regretting it as he felt a sharp pain run down his side. Push through it. Then, just as he pressed the glass against the dispenser, the other male continued on about making it up to him. As he waited for the glass to fill up, Sunwoo’s gaze watched the other’s movements carefully and curiously. Why is he going towards the door?

A wave of despair and fear ran through his core as soon as he saw the two men enter the household. Glass shattered upon the kitchen floor with water splashing upon the surfaces as the filled glass of water slipped from his hands. This is meant to be sanctuary the boy cried to himself, unafraid to move even an inch despite the newfound pain stinging his feet from the shards of glass that scattered upon the floor before him. I’m meant to be safe here. He didn’t even question how they came to be here; his mind couldn’t even fathom that Jae somehow knew these men. The only thing that ran through his mind was they were finally going to finish the job that they had started. But even as they lowered to their knees and lowered their heads into a deep bow, Sunwoo found himself unable to do anything. Unable to speak. To move. To comprehend just exactly what was going on.

Much like an out-of-sync Bluetooth connection, the scene that played before him lagged; it was as if he was watching everything happen before him only to have the audio play out moments afterwards. There was so much to intake that he had to force himself to pay some sort of attention to gather it all. He could understand everything later on, but for now, he was going to have to collect all the evidence so he could sprawl it out later. Connecting the dots with red string, with fate entwining and inviting each member into a terrible, horrible ballroom waltz. If he attempted it now, he was only going to become entrapped and tangled in a web of despair. It wasn’t until there was a brief pause in between incoming newfound information that it was starting to make some sort of sense in his mind.

These men worked for the shark loan that he borrowed money from.
These men also worked for Jae’s father.
Jae mentioned asking his father to remove the debt.

So… Jae’s father was the shark loan.

It was all falling into place as the boy pulled out a glimmering card from his pocket, flaunting it before him with glee in his gaze. Sunwoo’s eyes landed on the card before flickering to make direct eye contact with Jae. There was something in the other boy’s eyes that he could see for the first time; hatred. Of course, it had always been there. But Sunwoo had been blind to it - or rather, he pretended not to see it. However, as they stood in this situation, with Jae holding onto his future in the palm of his hands, the hatred bubbled into the pot, overflowing with pipping steam. His words hissed out the poison he stored for Sunwoo alone as he made his demands in exchange. Dark, tired eyes danced amongst the three sights before him; Jae’s dark glance, the two men whose future were in Sunwoo’s hands and then the card that held all unthinkable possibilities for his path in life.

To finally live a life without being a burden to another person.

He was ashamed of his actions. Unable to even look at the card, let alone the other boy, he extended his arm and took hold of the card carefully and gradually. It burnt in his hand, guilt and shame flooding his body as his gaze remained towards the floor. If he could’ve, he would’ve spoken up. Asked about the hidden terms and conditions of accepting this fate. But something bulged in the back of his throat, leaving him incapable of doing so. With the card now in his hand, he knew there was security in being financially stable for the rest of his life, along with not having to wear the guilt of causing harm to anyone else - no matter how much harm they had caused him. So, why did he feel more terrified than ever before? His eyes stung as he commanded them not to water, and he could feel his heart sink slowly and deep into the pits of his stomach. Finally, with a small gulp, he attempted to push down whatever was causing his throat to block up. Sunwoo gave Jae a silent, respectful bow, bearing through the pain that shot through his body, praying that the other would leave this house without causing any more harm to the Kang family.





/* ------ credit -- do not remove ------ */

© weldherwings.


 




/* ------ left side ------ */




/* ------ tabs ------ */









  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    holding her was never enough. i needed to melt into her. mix our colors like paint. fuse our atoms. but that as well, would never be enough.

    hwang joon-jae ​






/* ------ right side ------ */

Victory inched a smile while hatred covered itself with a deep chuckle. A future slipped before it could ever be truly sorrowed; fate writes the pages in cosmic ink, and the universe swallows it whole. The words exchanged died right where they were conjured, but the choice will linger until the end of time. The battle ended shortly, with the jester taking the money and running away from court, leaving only the rightful heir on his throne, a cold glint in the prince's eyes as he watched the exile happening.

A most expected outcome.

What else can an empty stomach fill itself with other than greed? Jae knew hearts could only stretch themselves so far within a body of grand ambitions but little means. Sun-woo merely reflected a truth Jae had sighted countless of times before, starting from the day his favorite caretaker left with a check in her hands but with no words of goodbye. In this world, affection rarely won over avarice; ravenous stomachs just could not be fed by sweet words or the warmth of other skins. And to them, love was love until a diamond glimmered brighter than someone else's eyes. Sun-woo was no different, happily accepting Mi-rae's sunshine until he could obtain a different kind of gold in his life.

It was what made him undeserving of her.

It was why Jae chased him out of her life.

Sun-woo's sudden disappearance would no doubt crack that soft heart of Mi-rae, but Jae would be the one to patch it with his own boundless and unwavering love. He would kiss away her tears, would brittle those broken memories of childhood friends further into dust and catalyze their own idyll out of it. She will find her haven back in his arms, heart to heart, and time would blur the moments between her and Sun-woo into a haze of vague insignificance. Most important of all, Jae would be known as the one who stayed, the one who loved and cherished her above everyone and everything.

So unlike him.

After some time, a door opened, the voice of an angel reaching for a boy who is no longer there. It is only the prince in an empty living room.

He smirks.




/* ------ credit -- do not remove ------ */

© weldherwings.


 




/* ------ left side ------ */




/* ------ tabs ------ */









  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about you and me. i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about the time when we were us.

    ho sunwoo​






/* ------ right side ------ */

He had felt like he had sold his soul to the devil.

The crowds gathered in masses, swarming to their next destination like schools of fish as they climbed on board the trains. Lights flickered above on the screens, indicating how much time was left before it was time to start boarding on each platform. Six minutes, his eyes caught sight of the illuminated light that would bring him to his next destination. Somewhere he had always dreamed of; his Appa’s hometown. A desperation buried deep inside of him, wondering, hoping and praying that he had any form of relatives that still existed on this Earth that remained there. Fingers lightly traced the ticket in his hands, a papercut just waiting to happen. Then again, he probably deserved it.

Five minutes.

Sun-Woo’s eyes glanced around his surroundings on the platform he stood upon. He caught glances of families, friends and loved ones who stood in anticipation and glee, waiting for the arrival of the train to take them towards the heavenly beaches of South Korea. But there was something else that caught his eye; a phone box. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen one of those. Curiously, he took small, timid strides towards the contraption and glanced towards it. It took cards. His hand reached down towards his pocket, pausing for a moment or two as he placed it upon the card that sat there burning a hole in his pocket. His mind began to race through all the unspoken things he never had the chance to say to Mi-Rae. How he just left without leaving a note or any signs for the family. He would’ve gladly used his mobile phone to have left her a text but the ugly brutes who were responsible for his near-death experience had stolen it during their attack. There were so many things he wanted to say to Mi-Rae.

And in a split second, Sun-Woo decided that she needed to hear those things.

He closed the gap between himself and the payphone, ripped out the sinful card and swiped it. Hand grasped around the receiver, placing it against his face, he then placed Mi-Rae’s number in. Thankfully, Mi-Rae’s phone number had been one of the very few that he could remember off the top of his head due to only being a couple of digits off his Appa’s mobile. Once the last digit was placed in, Sun-Woo released a shaky exhale and waited. Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Ring, ring. “Come on, Mi-Rae” he hissed under his breath; imagine going through all these emotions, psyching himself up, only to reach her voicemail? And just as he was about to give up, he heard the sound of the phone picking up and her sweet voice echoing in his ear with confusion: ”Hello?”

He froze.

As much as he wanted his lips to move, his mouth to form words, and to express to her how much she meant to him, nothing was coming out. An icy breeze washed over him and all he could do was stand there in complete and utter shock. His brain was no longer functioning to complete any form of sentences, words or sounds. There was silence, a deadly pause. And then she spoke again.

“Hellllo?”

A deep exhale shivered past his lips as he attempted to move them to form any sort of word to speak to her. But nothing was coming out. And Mi-Rae once again questioned with a ‘hello’. Come on, Sun-Woo, he mentally screamed at himself You can do it! Just tell her-

Just as his lips began to cooperate, about to move in formation to create coherent words, music began to chime over the speakers and echo throughout the platform. Once the chime had finished, a voice bellowed Mugunghwa Train on platform 2 is arriving. Mugunghwa Train on platform 2 is arriving. Typical Sun-Woo; he was given a card in which he had an unlimited amount of money, but he still picked the most budget train line to get to his final destination. Embarking on a five-hour journey instead of opting for a two-hour one. Well, at least he would have time to sit and reflect on what a horrible person he was.

“Yo? Helllloooo?”

Her voice tickled his ears, pulling memories from deep within him. And in that moment, sorrow and regret took over and Sun-Woo knew that he couldn’t talk to her. He couldn’t say his final goodbye. If not to protect his feelings and wounds, but to protect her. He didn’t want to keep hurting her. And so, with a shaky exhale, he regretfully and gradually placed the phone back onto the receiver.

—​

In four years, a lot can change.

Four years ago, Sun-Woo found himself kissing the grim reaper, lying in a pool of his own blood and reaching up towards the ghosts of his parents. He found himself stuck living in a lie where he constantly looked at the mirror and told his reflection you’re okay when deep down, he wasn’t. It was four years ago when he said goodbye to the life he had known his whole life and took a giant leap of faith moving from one side of Korea to the other with no connections.

There are days where time feels like it's slowly crawling by, like a snail on the back of a turtle attempting to win a race. But in reality, it dashes with a blink of an eye. Four years ago seemed like an eternity now for our much more mature Sun-Woo, who roamed the cold section of the grocery store on the hunt for almond milk. Well, attempting to. As he pushed the trolley slowly, his eyes tracing up and down the fridge aisle, he came to a sudden halt as a bleach-blonde-haired woman dropped an armful of various sweets and treats into the trolley. Sun-Woo gazed at her, his eyes wide and giving her ‘a look’. She stared back, her doe eyes attempting to butter him up without words before realising it never worked on him; her eyes sharpened, digging into the man before her. “Ya, Sun-Woo-ah,” she whined “I’m going back to the beach with my friends tonight. I needed some treats. Don’t give me that look” She huffed, crossing her arms in front of herself.

“Mina,” he softly spoke, leaning against the handle of the trolley with crossed arms “I’m not giving you that look because of the food”

“Then why are you giving me your I’m going to tell you off look, huh?” she mushed up her face in disgust

“I’m not.” he said slowly and calmly “I’m giving you a where did you leave halmoni look”

The girl’s eyes furrowed in confusion for a moment, gazing around Sun-Woo as if her grandmother was going to pop out of nowhere and call out surprise. And then it hit her - her eyes widened in pure shock and she gazed up towards the boy. “Halmoni!” she gasped.

“Yah. Halmoni.” he nodded, his eyes wide with raised brows in an almost comical manner. The first time this had happened, he had panicked like no tomorrow, afraid that he would lose his job for losing Mrs Yang. But seeing how easy it was to lose the lady who was hell bend on being so independent, insisting it was her way or the highway, Sun-Woo had now learnt to take things slow and steady. “I’ll look down this aisle and you go look in the fruit where you brought her first off. Call me if you find her. Oh, and here” he maneuvered the trolley around so it was now in her possession “It’s all your stuff anyways. You can push it”

He started to make tracks before he could hear the young girl’s huffs and tutting under her breath. Mina was only a year younger than him but acted like she was in high school still. What could he say; after three years of working for the Yang family as an in-house nurse and helper for their grandmother, it was almost like he was a part of their family. Mina was like his little sister, and they teased each other constantly. Yang Arae, her grandmother, almost felt like his own grandmother. She reminded him of all the older women who lived in his neighbourhood growing up; they would pinch his cheek, give him sweets and look out for him. And while his mature face didn’t have much baby fat to pinch these days, Arae always attempted to find some to grasp between her fingers and tug lightly in glee.




/* ------ credit -- do not remove ------ */

© weldherwings.


 




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    sunny days spent in our own little world we were princes and princesses, healers and knights. back when we made promises to stay together forever. it was a time i remember all too well; a time when we were us.

    kang mirae ​






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A lot could happen in four years. A best friend could disappear like a fleeting rain shower that leaves the world damp and wondering if it was ever there at all. No words, no explanation; just a void that grew wider with each passing moment. A sun could die and burn until there was nothing left but ash and smoke, and the world could watch its fall into the deep abyss but do nothing to save her. And time, cruel and relentless, could only tick on and on, promising little, all while dragging the sun's corpse further into a world that suddenly seems darker than it should be.

In the aftermath of Sun-woo's disappearance, time felt like a river, flowing steadily but carrying Mi-rae further and further from the person she used to be. Her tight spiderweb of a friend group began to unravel after high school graduation as each person's path began to turn away from each other. It was a fear come true, a fear that brought whispers of regret in quiet moments; perhaps if she had listened to it earlier, she could have started studying earlier and become a student able to follow the same trajectory as her friends. Though Mi-rae had passed the Suneung with better grades than her teachers and parents expect of her, the result now felt hollow, like sunlight filtering through dense clouds, casting feeble rays upon barren grounds.

Maybe then, she could have been enough.

Reality now hung over her like a perpetual shadow, a constant reminder that optimism was a risky endeavor, a gamble that left her heartbroken. She secretly longed for the days when life was easy, when hope was enough to overcome its obstacles. But those were the days of naivety, when the wool over her eyes blinded her from how the real world worked. Just like everyone else, Mi-rae grew up. Gone was the young teen who skipped through life; there was a woman now, with slow and hesitant steps, as if anxious wether the ground underneath could crumble at any given moment.

Stalking through the aisles of the supermarket, Mi-rae was half-heartedly searching for tonight's dinner before she stumbled upon an elderly trying to reach something from the bottom shelf. She helped the older lady, without anticipating that she would be locked into a longer conversation. The sweet lady told her that she looked exactly like her daughter when she was young and proceeded to say things just as amusingly random. Mi-rae didn't have the heart to stop the conversation, but she was somewhat grateful when the woman's attention was grasped by someone else.

"Ah, Sun-woo."

Her blood suddenly ran cold hearing that name, and Mi-rae's breathe hitched in her throat. Her head slowly turned, only to lock eyes with someone she never thought to see again. It felt like a hallucination, a trick played by her own mind, for how could he be standing there, real and tangible, after all these years of nothingness? Her face paled as if it was seeing a ghost, an apparition from the past come to haunt her into an ill state. The world around her blurred, and her head felt feverish. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't breathe.

"Oh gosh, are you feeling okay dear?" was the voice that echoed from somewhere far away, outside the blurring world. No, she didn't feel okay. She felt--

"Sun-woo, you're a doctor aren't you? Don't just stand there and help the girl. She looks like she's about to faint."



/* ------ credit -- do not remove ------ */

© weldherwings.


 
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/* ------ tabs ------ */









  • /* ------ sticky note letter ------ */
    i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about you and me. i will never go back into your arms. but can't stop thinking about the time when we were us.

    ho sunwoo​






/* ------ right side ------ */

With each passing aisle, Sunwoo could feel the dread sink deeper into his core. All sense of being calm and collected was beginning to seep through his very being as the familiar friendly face of the old woman was not present down every aisle he scanned. It had been noted that this was not the first time Arae had gone missing; because despite her old age, she was mischievous and independent as a two year old snatching from their parents and exclaiming mine! with brutality. The grandmother knew that her time of independence was slowly closing its doors, and she was being dragged to the exit. But she wasn’t going to go without a fight; heels digging into the ground and pulling back as hard as her fragile body could.

With only three aisles left, he prayed that the next one would be the one where she had scrambled her way to. By the grace of God, his prayers had been answered. Yang Arae stood with a bright complexion, her withering, wrinkling skin pushed upright with a glimmering smile upon her face as she spoke to a young female in front of her. Of course she found a friend, Sunwoo thought to himself as he let out a puff of breath, the sense of relief showering over his body instantly. Mrs Yang had a habit of making friends with everyone and anyone who was willing to stand around for more than ten seconds to talk to her. I suppose she was determined to ensure that her voice would be heard and remembered, echoing in the back of the minds of young people and into the next generation; leaving seedlings to sprout as remembrance of her existence on this planet once she passed.

“Ah, Sun-Woo!”

A scoff of disbelief slipped through his lips; how could she act so casually after giving him such a heart attack. He honestly should ask for a raise. His vision narrowed in on the older woman, scanning her up and down like a robotic doctor to detect for any injuries or abnormalities since the last time he laid eyes on her. Sun-woo’s hyperfixation and attention to his examination also meant his eyes - despite making eye contact with them briefly - had completely glazed over the person she had been speaking to. After all, he had to ensure Mrs Yang was safe if he wanted to keep his job. Strong, long strides helped him to travel down the aisle within seconds to be by the older woman’s side; a gentle, delicate hand placed upon her shoulder out of concern and care.

“Ya, Halmoni,” he exhaled, “You gave us a heart attack -”

And then he stopped.

He stopped because the world stopped turning.

Moment stood still.

There she stood. Wide eyed. In shock. Horror. A ghost from her past had walked so carefree down the aisle and now stood in front of her. His appearance was chilling her straight to her core, as did hers to his. The words of Mrs Yang became nothing more than static, buzzing with irritation in the back of his mind like an itch you can’t quite scratch. The eyes Sunwoo had used for Mrs Yang - in search of any abnormality - were now being used to determine if he was truly in this dimension as he stared at the girl before him in complete shock. Had he fallen down a rabbit hole, or had he been lifted by a tornado to a far away land? Perhaps he was in a coma or suffering from a brain tumour? They seemed like more plausible answers to how he was able to stand before a much more mature Kang Mi-Rae.

Her name was on the tip of his tongue, daring him to speak them into existence. Taunting him to bring up past scars and enticing to rip those wounds open once more. Time stood still and nothing mattered anymore; until he felt the tug on his arm. It dragged him back down to existence, like an anchor dragging a ship to its halt in a raging sea. Sun-Woo’s attention moved to Mrs Yang who clung to his arm with concern. Her words barely made sense in his mind, jumbled and flustered. It took him a second or two to actually figure out what the woman was saying before it was as clear as day; She looks like she’s going to faint.

Turning his gaze back to Mi-Rae, it seemed that Mrs Yang was correct; her face turning pale, a lonely bead of sweat falling from her brow, and the sound of her breath starting to labour. It was at this moment, the secrets of their past didn’t seem to exist. Sun-Woo automatically went into pilot mode as he brought all his concern to the girl before them. “Hey,” he said softly, placing his hands upon her shoulders as gently as he could “Let’s get you sitting down before you pass out” he instructed the girl. With the safest option being the floor, Sun-Woo began to assist her to sit down; sitting down with her. “Here,” he softly and calmly instructed her as he sat behind her, gently pulling her shoulders back towards him so she would lean back “Straighten out your legs. It’ll help with the blood flow” Noticing she was wearing shorts, Sun-Woo turned back towards Mrs Yang who automatically understood what he was about to ask. She took off her silk scarf from around her neck and handed it to him to which he used to lay upon Mi-Rae’s legs to give the girl some modesty. It wasn’t much, but it was the least that he could do.

Sat upon the supermarket floor, Mi-Rae leant back into his chest, he couldn’t think about the burdens and heartache of the past right now. His mind had been triggered into his medical training, unlocking the various drills that had been embedded into him during his military training. As noted, a lot could change in four years. Within a couple of months of moving to Busan, finding that none of his relatives lived here anymore, Sun-Woo decided to enrol in his mandatory military service. 21 months serving in the army sector, with his main area of focus being humanitarian and first aid relief, this was how he met Yang Hyunwoo; Mrs Yang’s grandson and Mina’s cousin. Had it not been for Hyunwoo, he wouldn’t have gotten this job caring for Mrs Yang. He had been the one to convince his parents to hire Sun-Woo after they finished their time in the Army; he had been the one to welcome him to Yang family with open arms.

Sun-Woo’s mind danced along the first aid checklist that popped up with ease, his eyes darting around to see if there was anything that could assist them that was near them. Nothing. Time for a backup plan. Digging his phone out of his pocket, trying not to move too much to bother Mi-Rae, he swiftly found Mina’s contact information, pressed call and brought the phone up to his ear. Her whining instantly came to his ear as she complained about not being able to find Halmoni. “I found her. Aisle nine,” he spoke with such calmness “Come here - but can you pick up some towels along the way? About four or five of them?”

Once again, the girl began to whine - which only triggered Sun-Woo to drop the routine for a split second. “Ah wae~ wae~” he whined right back into the phone, mocking the younger girl “Just hurry up, please. It’s important.” Both Mina and Sun-Woo released a collective sigh as he brought the phone back down and hung the phone up. Instead of sliding his phone into his pocket, he turned towards Mrs Yang and held it out to her; as if asking her non-verbally if she could hold it for him. She took it without any hesitation, which allowed him to turn his attention back to the girl who was situated in front of him; leaning into his chest. He took a moment to finally catch his breath, inhaling and exhaling deeply.

She still smelt the same.

Memories began to crawl like demons from the depths of hell; their claws screeching against the floor as they tugged and pulled to catch their feet. Not here, he told himself Not on the floor of some supermarket. Sun-Woo cleared his throat lightly, attempting to bring back that professionalism from before. “Are you feeling okay?” he asked the girl. And that’s all he was going to think of her; of just some girl in the supermarket.

He had been hurt before in the past. He wasn’t going to allow it to happen again. Not after all his years of attempting to heal. He would call it healing; others would call it trying to cage your demons instead of dealing with them.





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