Humor what I HATE about your zodiac sign

[d1uni5ys24si3o]

How?

I sidnt actually cause i joking and busy playing anyways but yeah image reverse google ahahha

 

[bubblefly]

I sidnt actually cause i joking and busy playing anyways but yeah image reverse google ahahha

I completely forgot that was a thing oml

 

[d1uni5ys24si3o]

I completely forgot that was a thing oml

 

[cadence]

everyone here getting all genuinely offended and i'm just here like 'TRUE'

 

[d1uni5ys24si3o]

everyone here getting all genuinely offended and i'm just here like 'TRUE'

 

[cadence]

im a sagittarius and the whole grudge thing is spot on. highkey the person i hate most in this world is this bitch from middle school who told me she killed my cat when she went missing (which isn't true bc she came back later) and she probably doesn't even remember

 

[d1uni5ys24si3o]

im a sagittarius and the whole grudge thing is spot on. highkey the person i hate most in this world is this bitch from middle school who told me she killed my cat when she went missing (which isn't true bc she came back later) and she probably doesn't even remember

Why would that bitch even say that

 

[cadence]

Why would that bitch even say that

idk man. she was a good friend at the time and we sat by each other on the bus. i told her that my cat went missing and i was SOBBING and shit and she was all like "oh yea she came to my house and i didn't feed her so she died :-)))" w h at the fu CK

 

[d1uni5ys24si3o]

idk man. she was a good friend at the time and we sat by each other on the bus. i told her that my cat went missing and i was SOBBING and shit and she was all like "oh yea she came to my house and i didn't feed her so she died :-)))" w h at the fu CK

That BItCH IS PSYCHOTIC

 

[cadence]

That BItCH IS PSYCHOTIC ❤

she was probably a gemini

 

[d1uni5ys24si3o]

she was probably a gemini

I would wife her, psychotics like that OOF

 

[the melancholist]

Awesome, a new platform for me to whine and cry.
Today I will be bullying you based on the time you were born, something you can't change and will not ever be able to. So, I will talk about each and every zodiac sign because I hate them all, you are all terrible, especially mine uwu *gets permanently banned*

Alright, let's start this!!!

Taurus
Taurus (more like WHORE-us oooh burn) hmm. They are really stubborn. Like really really the most stubborn of the signs. They will continuously dare you to talk back even it you just did. A Taurus will come to you and be like hey you know like full on breakdown mode crying : ((((((((, a whole soap opera tear moment and come to you and be like hey I am ruining my own life right now wth do i

need to do to make that stop. And you will talk for hours, and you will give the best Dr.Phil advice. Like Phil could never pass advice like that. And they'll be like thank you thank you so much and you really really helped me out when I needed it and... and then you'll have that conversation six more times within the next month. Tauruses never fucking learn. And honestly, it's almost as if they kind of want the pain and the suffering HAHA like if you stepped on their shoe or something super small and stupid and you'll apologize, worried for them. They're like no no i'm fine (lies) and then you don't hear from them for a whole month. And then you finally get to talk to them again, you're like hey are we good you know you seem a little upset with me there... They're like "you know what, actually I am."

The worst thing is Taurus aren't even worth all that fucking trouble. Literally waste their life away trying to look hot and they do this because they're perfectionists and know down to the millimeter how far they are from being physically ideal. They always stick with basics stuff: like mum and dad, food and shelter, sex and money. saved or damned.

Romantically, it boils down to something simple: do what the fucking taurean wants. like it or lump it.

Literally the laziest, most selfish and gluttonous of signs.

Taurus, just one thing... I passionately hate you.

Geminis

You are fucking psychotic. I am done with you, zodiac. You are literally fucking crackheads, each and every one of you. Each and every fucking Gemini I met are crackheads, I'm not even kidding. A bunch of self-diagnosed bipolar bisexual/panfuckable. Literally REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-ing all the time like fucktards. You exude SUCH INTENSE crackhead energy all the fucking time. Like sure it's great, it's fun but like... sometimes... please just get a therapist. Imo, I can't even deal with you. You know like why the fuck do I have to deal with like two people all the time, like literally two fucking bitches that are both psychotic all at once. Like holy fuck, I need to nap for like the next century in order to recover from watching a movie at your house on a thursday night. I just can't deal with you anymore.

Everyone knows that geminis are liars, cheats, thieves, and everyone knows they are incredibly two-faced bitches and loves two timing others, a nasty habit. A reputation well deserved, we are arrogant jerks who love hearing our voices. Voila. Enough said.

And if by pure misery you date a gemini, 1) they'll probably cheat on you, and 2) you'll be exhausted by their inability to stop talking for even a moment. Sometimes we need to snuggle and veg out with our partners; other times, we need to get our brains fucked out.

Get a therapist.

Cancer

Literally the worst star sign ever. You know why? Cause you are a snowflake. Everyone will be having a good time, having a blast except you cause you will so much so not do anything and you will STILL assume that the friendship is fucking over. NAME ME ONE CANCER who won't take the wind blowing in their direction personally. I'll wait. But I can't blame you too much, you are literally one missed capital letter away from being declared a malignant growth you should cut out of your life as soon as possible. Anyways, you have the absolute trifecta of shit characteristics. You share the name with a terminal illness, you are visually represented as a grab or 69 or both, and you fucking weep all.the.goddamn.time. Your not cool, u actually suck.

bye.

LeoEnergetic and loud, and boisterous and cannot have anyone in the fucking room have any of your spotlight or else you will instantly fucking die. They won't go down without a fight. They will instantly go on flight or fight mode, need all the attention on me and is just gonna start fucking breaking things and the worst is that it fucking works. It fucking works all the time but

they are. never. fucking. satisfied. Never satisfied. When they feel like they are being taken advantage of, they will just up and fucking leave without an explanation. They won't talkto you about it, they won't like "hey I wish you were more there for me uwu pls love me" No. They block your number, they fucking unfollow you on everything, they key your carrrr burn ur fucking house down...

listen if you date a leo you're just not gonna win. Good luck, have fun!! Run while you can cause there pride will always trump anything you do. They are extremely arrogant, vain and self-absorbed. They are unable to cop to mistakes and adjust the course because of their StRonG OpInIonS.

Well you know what fucking Leo's ||Pride goeth before destruction, and a (sic) haughty spirit before a fall.|| From the Bible, Proverbs 16:18
so, fuck you, you petty ass bitch.

LibrasI find really funny how... you are just an illusion of balance. They will appear all tranquil and shit, avoid all ugliness and conflict... you know the

typical on top of her shit type of person. AND THEN THROW A FUCKING TANTRUM. You are supposed to be balanced. Its really ducking ironic cause I've never met a single libra that's not absolutely insane. And I mean real scary crazy. It's like always completely unbalanced. And unlike Geminis, they take it real fucking personal. They will start thinking they are the worst person if they did bad or they will start thinking they are the best if they doing good.

Oh and every single Libra has quoted fucking Gandhi. WHy? No clue. I'm clueless in their case.

If you are dating a Libra, they are shameless flirts who have no idea how manipulative they are. They are vain as hell and absolute fools when it comes to matters of the heart. They literally suffer from a grand delusion that life can be wonderful all the fucking time. And you know, just watch out. Libras folks will sniff out any opportunity to flirt especially if they feel down and need an ego boost and they forget that they are throwing a bunch of sexual spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks cause they are so readily able to fall love drunk.

Complete, losers.

Scorpios

God I hate you but... I love you... like a lot... but I hate you.

Lol it's literally a trap, don't fall in love with a Scorpio. Like honestly, I think Scorpios distant relative is the devil himself. You do one thing wrong and like they'll come up with this six-month plan that ends with you dead in your car by the lake. I don't think Scorpios can like go without sex for more than a week. Like they might actually die. Like honestly never let their minds wander cause it usually ends up in unpleasant places where you are probably getting murdered over something you did 10 years ago... They don't usually care much about their partners. LIke honestly, the only way your relationship will work is if it's long distance cause they can just cut you off at any time and don't need to give you a reason plus you won't end up destroyed.

Every single Scorpio I met always turn out to be this kind of gum-snapping cheerleader who doesn't wind up with the handsome bf because the protagonist is clearly the better person. Literally cheap thriller villains in teenage television show, but irl. Literally a carnal temptress seeking to drag their prey down into the dark.

Honestly, petty, vengeful, sexual emotionally cold and insincere.

Stay away. All the sociopaths come from them.

Sagittarius

If you think Cancers hold a grudge, OH HO These motherfucking sagittarius remember everything. EVERYTHING.
E V E R Y T H I N G
They will be in their deathbed and they'll bring up something that you did to them when they were 12 just to prove a tiny petty point. On that note, I never met a Sagittarius that doesn't love talking shit. That's actually mindblowing now that I think about it.

Anyways, sagittarius are preachy know-it-all optimistic at all the wrong times doers. If there is a someone who thinks they are the smartest in the room, it's probably the sagittarius. You are grating, literally sand paper on my spine. Once they go on a rant about how they are expert in blablbla field, they just can't stop talking. They lose track of context and go on and on, unfazed by our monosyllabic responses meant to politely signal that it's time to switch the subject.
n o.
Sagittarians can become utterly convinced that you'd be on the precipice of a major life change IF ONLY you gave them your undivided attention and fully absorbed by their long winded musings.

condescending little shits. Also, never hire a sagittarius. They always resent their boss cause ThEy DoNT hAvE ThE RiGhT LeAdeRShip PhIloSopHy.

know it all crap-tards.

Capricorns

H o l y
f u c k.
What are you feeling? Like what are you feeling? What is going on in your brain?
You are uncomfortable to be around. Like I can't vibe with fucking Capricorns. I literally wear my emotions on my fucking sleeve, you know exactly how I am feeling the second I walk into the room. Like if you aren;t like that, what kind of bad juju you practising? What is the witchcraft you using blackmagic woman??? I don't know how to have a conversation with you and honestly the only time I manage to strike a convo with you, you are FREAKY! You fucking pervy ass lil weirdos BYE. You are creepy and have stalker tendencies. You are the kind of person that will find out everything about my life without me even knowing you. Like I do shit like that but you are another WHOLE NEW LEVEL.

If you are in a relationship with one, no matter who you are, they are wearing the pants. THEY ARE WEARING THE PANTS. No matter what.

Aquarius

Ah Aquarius... You are all so easy to make fun of. The weird iProfile Tumblr Rawr Im different gals... not like other girls of the zodiac chart. Quirky and random and weird and artsy. She's the weirdest bitch in the room who got abducted by aliens and read Rupi Kaur milk and honey cause its EdGy. Aquarius people are unfeeling aliens who won't shut up about their ideas, all things strange and unique and they always ALWAYS become too weird. They all have a Spock complex.

Tone it down. Tone the fuck loving cheap hair color freakos with ... weird music taste.
Whatever.

Virgos

You are just selfish and annoying. You are obsessive, nitpickers easily overwhelmjed by imperfections. You are always agravating to work with in team work cause you nitpick minor details like napkins and you always set unrealistic self-improvement goals. You suffer from delusion honey. And you know, when you tell them, that just retreat into the inner sanctum of their rooms, switch off their phones and computers and try to wind down by reading a self help book, but GUESS WHAT they get enraged when they find a minor typo.

Learn. to. let. go.
and please never ask me again to work in teamwork with you.



Pisces

You are the cancer and scorpio baby. You cry over everything. You complain over everything. And you are fucking manipulative but as soon as you fuck with them, THEY START CRYING AGAIN. "Like omg.. how you could do this to me..." stfu. The moment you tell them anything, you become worst than the devil.

Side note, these pisces are some clingy mother effers! And you are just stuck with them forever cause bitches cant let you go. You know the crazy manipulative girlfriend that will socially isolate you, poison you but the moment you raise your voice at her, she will start crying and call 911? it's her. It's literally her!

Smug.

Aries

One word of advice.
Shut up.
Stop talking
It will help you out so much i proooomise you.
Aries are basically the hulk smash of the zodiac chart. U walk by one and they dont like it, they turn into this green mass of anger and consume everyone around them. It's really fun, i love it. Great time.


Anyway, that's it! you made it! But honestly, if you did take something personally that i said in this thread or wtv... grow up.
LMFAO no seriously im joking xD im joking. I like people of all signs idc when you were born, i just found this funny.
And moral of the story this thread is a trainwreck compilation of testimonies and HEEEYAW

Have a good day!

i've never quoted ghandi.


fight me.

And for the rest of that, screw you. (but it's pretty true other than the ghandi shit.)

 

[Airwrecka]

As an aquarius, I will say that the "unfeeling alien" really hit home.

 

[Natural Flavour]

I pisces

Honestly, I could see the worst version of myself in there... I've never been all that, but I could see it happening potentially if my world got a fair bit uglier XD

But yes. I am crying all the time.
Yes.

 

[ashwynne]

Pisces here too and I mean... pretty accurate description of my worst possible self I figure . The clingy part is def true for the most part though LOL

 

[truthofself]

ok but the scorpio part kinDA DESCRIBED ME PRETTY WELL? besides the cheerleader part and stuff???

 

[Human__Ramen]

As a Taurus main my entire description is just fucking hilarious. Good on you dude

 

[Sylvio]

You know as an Aquarius I’ll have you know that I have great ideas. It’s just I have no one to share them with and I get frustrated when no one thinks the same way I do cause I need to put in effort into convincing them my ideas are great. I’m also scared that my ideas will be shunned cause they’re too out of touch and probably won’t appeal to anyone. I’m not insecure I swear

 

[CocoaMarshmallow]

Aight bro, I'm gonna need you to dial back on the Libra roasts because every single word you just typed for them is hitting WAY too close to home and I'm scared. Not offended, just horrified

 

[Colorfulmind]

Ohhh yep, Aries going hulk. I swear, I'm a super friendly and social person, but, even though it's everything but easy- don't get on my bad side X'3

 

[DarkiusHeavenstein]

As a libra I agree... And now I am wondering what Gandhi quotes I have used in my life

 

[MidnightsWhisper]

I love this. Absofuckinglutly LOVE THIS. I completely and utterly adore you and everything you stand for. YES. Preach. You go sir!

It's like getting called out for your shit, roundhouse kicked with the truth wrapped in a mantel of fun, taken apart while smiling. Love it.

Your writing? Gold. Your assessment of my behaviour although you've never meet me? Quite spot on.
If you'll excuse me now, I gotta throw sexual spaghetti around. Because that's the only thing it's good for, throwing it against the wall. I fucking hate spaghetti.

 

[Valhasagun]

Me after reading the first line of the Taurus section:

 

[Oliverknit]

... Well, I will say I enjoyed this far more than reading my horoscope in the newspaper for laughs. I am a Gemini by the way probably shouldn't mention that but oh well we are kinda crazy I guess. Thanks for the laughs.

 

[icysubject]

I absolutely loved this. Please keep going..-