Humor what I HATE about your zodiac sign

[Valhasagun]

Me after reading the first line of the Taurus section:

 

[Oliverknit]

... Well, I will say I enjoyed this far more than reading my horoscope in the newspaper for laughs. I am a Gemini by the way probably shouldn't mention that but oh well we are kinda crazy I guess. Thanks for the laughs.

 

[icysubject]

I absolutely loved this. Please keep going..-

 

[CrimsonFlowers]

As a Capricorn; I take no offense from the(obviously true) paragraph you wrote about me and my starsign.
Stalker? True.
Weirdo? True.
WItch? Very much true.

^^

 

[AngelEva]

I found enjoyment out of this. A little disappointed mine (Aquarius) was so short, but 99% accurate

 

[CheshireMitsu]

god my favorite would be the Sagi and thats mean my sisters a Sagi lmao

 

[Adriantook]

Well it seems that I need ro find a therapist, during a pandemic, and they don't want me to leave my house...does knitting count as therapy? Or maybe binge watching the Lord of the Rings Trilogy would be better 9 or 12 glorious hours of me alone lol. Nice burns.

 

[Cross]

Knitting is a good therapy if you want to stab things

 

[Coakhedd]

"Loser Libra" has a nice ring to it!

Seriously though, as a Libra, your description was pretty accurate minus the Gandhi part.

 

[The Silent Z]

Never saw this thread before now, but... I gotta say as a Virgo that’s fairly accurate. Nicely done! Interesting and funny read.

 

[Lone Star II]

Am I allowed to comment on mine because it's kind of a yes and a no

 

[Lone Star II]

Okay so I'm a Pisces and I'm gonna have to say you're correct about basically all of it

 

[Lone Star II]

Pisces

You are the cancer and scorpio baby. You cry over everything. You complain over everything. And you are fucking manipulative but as soon as you fuck with them, THEY START CRYING AGAIN. "Like omg.. how you could do this to me..." stfu. The moment you tell them anything, you become worst than the devil.

Side note, these pisces are some clingy mother effers! And you are just stuck with them forever cause bitches cant let you go. You know the crazy manipulative girlfriend that will socially isolate you, poison you but the moment you raise your voice at her, she will start crying and call 911? it's her. It's literally her!

Smug.

So basically
We aren't that crazy lmao
I mean at least me
Except for the fact that yes I am the most manipulative person I've ever known
And trust me I know loads of people
Yes I try to benefit from people and not give a shit about them
Obviously I do because I can't not but
Meh

Anyways yes this is extremely hilarious
I give a fucking thumbs up
Because I can't give you a fist bump through a computer screen

 

[Fenix]

This is really funny to me. I really enjoyed the comments about all the signs. I don’t know much about astrology, but I’ve always found that I’ve resonated with a different other than my own.

 

[Nuite]

Don’t really read Rupi Kaur, but the aliens part got me!

 

[Ey3_s0ckEts]

Scorpios

God I hate you but... I love you... like a lot... but I hate you.

Lol it's literally a trap, don't fall in love with a Scorpio. Like honestly, I think Scorpios distant relative is the devil himself. You do one thing wrong and like they'll come up with this six-month plan that ends with you dead in your car by the lake. I don't think Scorpios can like go without sex for more than a week. Like they might actually die. Like honestly never let their minds wander cause it usually ends up in unpleasant places where you are probably getting murdered over something you did 10 years ago... They don't usually care much about their partners. LIke honestly, the only way your relationship will work is if it's long distance cause they can just cut you off at any time and don't need to give you a reason plus you won't end up destroyed.

Every single Scorpio I met always turn out to be this kind of gum-snapping cheerleader who doesn't wind up with the handsome bf because the protagonist is clearly the better person. Literally cheap thriller villains in teenage television show, but irl. Literally a carnal temptress seeking to drag their prey down into the dark.

Honestly, petty, vengeful, sexual emotionally cold and insincere.

Stay away. All the sociopaths come from them.

Yeah, True. Well, Mostly...

 

[Dakusan]

Which Leo hurt you bro LOL

 

[rosiepetals]

You cry over everything.

i literally started crying reading this so,,,

 

[Nokumi]

Is that really what the virgos you meet do??? That’s the opposite from what I am- I’m sensitive and overly sad with the tendency to put others first before myself. Goes to show how I can’t seem to put myself before my mom who’s abusive mentally and has done me no good. But I still give into her selfishness

 

[Perpetual Zen]

but what about cusp signs,huh? how are we to feel about our entire zodiac identity? do we just not matter

 

[phnx.]

no because as a capricorn i didn’t expect to be personally attacked