Fantasy We're Holidays Too! Character Sheets

[Kylesar1]

Character Sheets
​

You take control of either a human, Holideity, or a Holiday Servant. Holideities are first come first serve. If you want an already taken holiday, you must be a servant


Holideities


Independence Day: Me


Halloween: @Shammy the Shamrock


Diwali: @Scylla


Groundhogs Day: @Forehead


Thanksgiving: @Kitty_Lover


Dia de Los Muertos: @Puggie


Boxing Day: @IctoraPost


Bonfire Night: @KorSide


April Fool's: @Syra


New Year's (Chinese): @TaraSobiki


Servants


Thanksgiving: @Tanfam


Halloween: @GriffinHeart101


Appearance:


Name:


Species: Human, Servant, or Holiday Spirit


Associated Holiday:


Holiday Date:


Personality:


Backstory: Optional


Weapon(s):


Magic Element:


Abilities: Up to 3


Weaknesses: 2, be it elemental or otherwise


Theme Song: Optional


Additional Questions

• Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase?
  
• Do you hate Christmas?
  
• Does Christmas intrude on your holiday?
  

Main Thread: 






OOC:

 

[Kylesar1]

Appearance:

Name: John Adams


Species: Holiday Spirit


Associated Holiday: Independence Day


Holiday Date: July 4


Personality: Serious with a sense of justice, John knows what he wants and isn't afraid to take it. He fights with his life for his teammates and will never leave a man behind


Backstory: He was born when the Declaration of Independence was signed. He grew to immense power very quickly as the war effort grew. He grew ever stronger when WW1 and WW2 started up and then grew sick with the infighting of the Civil War


Weapon(s): WW2 style weapons, guns, and vehicles, as well as higly explosive fireworks


Magic Element: Weapon


Abilities:

• Army Soul- Allows him to call in army orders
  
• Dead Shot- Very accurate with a gun, especially semi-automatic rifles
  
• Close Combatant- Very good with a Cavalry Sword or Army Knife
  

Weaknesses: Necromancy and Dark Magic


Theme Song:










Additional Questions

• Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase? Gets stronger than average on election years and stronger towards election day
  
• Do you hate Christmas? "Not at all"
  
• Does Christmas intrude on your holiday? "Yes. The fat bastard is with that Christmas in July shit. I'm not having it"
  

 

[Muffinboi]

Appearance:


View attachment 190411


Name: Devi


Species: Holiday Spirit


Associated Holiday: Diwali


Holiday Date: Varies per Hindu Lunisolar calendar


Personality: Devi appears to be a compassionate individual, and while this is most certainly true, she also is well aware what suffering is. She lends her ears to those who don't have any other listeners.


Backstory: Might do it later.


Weapon(s): A spear


Magic Element: Light


Abilities: She can manipulate light. Also, an aura of light surrounds her which counters dark magic.


Weaknesses:


Necromancy


Toxins


Theme Song:


None for now.


Additional Questions

• Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase? Summer Solstice
  
• Do you hate Christmas?  "Not really."
  
• Does Christmas intrude on your holiday? "Nope."
  

 

[Catnapper]

Appearance:


Name: Caligo


Species: Holiday Spirit


Associated Holiday: Bonfire Night (if you don't know, it's an English holiday on November the 5th, commemorating the death of Guy Fawkes, a man who nearly blew up the houses of parliament and was killed. We have sparklers and fireworks, and a bonfire at the start.)


Holiday Date: 5th of November


Personality: A mysterious character, but with clear motives. Although he does not talk a lot and keeps himself to himself, it is always clear what he is trying to achieve. He is generally hated, but is actually a rather colourful character when you get to know him. He is good friends with Halloween, but there is a lot of 'competition' between them.


Backstory: Caligo refuses to talk about his backstory, but it is clear that he has suffered a lot. Not even his closest friends really know about his past.


Weapon(s): A pistol, and his abilities.


Magic Element: Darkness


Abilities: Telekinesis, and the ability to create and morph darkness, like a smoke grenade.


Weaknesses: Caligo can be harmed by iron or steel (knives), and fire but the only way he can be killed is if he is hung, which can be done if he is weakened enough.


Theme Song:










Additional Questions

• Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase? Although Caligo is not directly weakened by light, Caligo is weaker in the day. He is much stronger and faster at night.
  
• Do you hate Christmas? Christmas and Bonfire Night (Caligo) are bonded. When there is no Caligo, Christmas is weaker. Because Bonfire Night is the last holiday before Christmas in Britain, and because of the link in their history, the two holidays are connected.
  
• Does Christmas intrude on your holiday? No.
  

 

[BlueClover]

"Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something stran-Where ya kids going!?" ~An encounter with some clearly stuck up kids when they met The Pumpkin King.
Appearance:  "Look at dis purty face."

Name:  "Call me, Pumpkin Head, The Pumpkin King, or Mr. Jack."
Species:  "I'm the Spirit of All Hallows Eve."
Associated Holiday:  "Well, I have a pumpkin for a head so Halloween." 
Holiday Date:  "The 10th month on the 31st"
Personality:  "I'm a little old fashioned and love me a good scare.  I'm not into those fancy doo dads and I Pocks or whatever they called.  Why need them when you can have a mask and candy?  I'm a prankster, lover but also a fighter if you rub me the wrong way.  Mess with me and feel the wrath of the Pumpkin King."
Backstory:  "Well for my existence, I was made when the holiday was made.  You might think since Christmas was ma opposite that I would be enemies but nope, the jolly man use to be ma friend.  I am a juggernaut in the holidays and the big guy seemed very well spirited at first....then it started to happen.  Slowly his influence move from the thanksgiving right to ME.  He was shrouding my holiday for his own.  He changed when his holiday grew and look at me.  I have to see them kids in Santa outfits and Christmas trees on MY day.  It's two months away people, you can wait.  I haven't seen him since and he pretends I don't exist but I know he knows that when I get there i'm going to serve him a big bowl of Halloween treats....I know that sounds good but it isn't!"
Weapon(s):  
"I got ma friend Jeremiah, he's a spooky pitchfork and a plastic pumpkin head full of explosive treats...and jolly ranchers, I love me those little buggers ."
Magic Element:  "Hm, I don't know!  Fear?"
Abilities: "I'm good with a melee weapon, very quick and great at the element of surprise."
Weaknesses: First off, i'm not physically strong, I wasn't made to pull around hay barrels!  Also my head, it's a pumpkin for gods sake, just smash it up!....Actually don't."
Theme Song: 












Additional Questions
Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase?
"In the month of October, full moon nights or when something involving fear is around." 
Do you hate Christmas?


"Well, yes and na.  I mean it's covering up and spreading to me but I understand why people love it but then again its kinda become just a gimme season where people just do it since they want stuff so....I don't know."
Does Christmas intrude on your holiday?
"Like I said from my story, yes!"
 


(And I got it finished! @Kylesar1)

 

[Kylesar1]

Appearance:


Name: Caligo


Species: Holiday Spirit


Associated Holiday: Bonfire Night (if you don't know, it's an English holiday on November the 5th, commemorating the death of Guy Fawkes, a man who nearly blew up the houses of parliament and was killed. We have sparklers and fireworks, and a bonfire at the start.)


Holiday Date: 5th of November


Personality: A mysterious character, but with clear motives. Although he does not talk a lot and keeps himself to himself, it is always clear what he is trying to achieve. He is generally hated, but is actually a rather colourful character when you get to know him. He is good friends with Halloween, but there is a lot of 'competition' between them.


Backstory: Caligo refuses to talk about his backstory, but it is clear that he has suffered a lot. Not even his closest friends really know about his past.


Weapon(s): A useless looking, blacked wooden stake. The stake is actually very powerful, and will kill you instantly.


Magic Element: Darkness


Abilities: Telekinesis, teleportation.


Weaknesses: Caligo can be harmed by iron or steel (knives) but the only way he can be killed is if he is hung, which of course, is a hard task. However, if you weaken him enough he will not be strong enough to move.


Theme Song:










Additional Questions

• Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase? Although Caligo is not directly weakened by light, Caligo is weaker in the day. He is much stronger and faster at night.
  
• Do you hate Christmas? Christmas and Bonfire Night (Caligo) are bonded. When there is no Caligo, Christmas is weaker. Since Caligo's birth, Christmas has become stronger. When Caligo is harmed, Christmas can feel it.
  
• Does Christmas intrude on your holiday? No.
  

It seems apparent that you're doing some heavy metagaming

1. A close range weapon that can kill instantly
   
2. The ability to teleport, thus instantly closing or lengthening a gap.
   
3. Only being able to be killed by being hung, which involves both getting close and a multi-step process
   
4. Telekinesis, which allows you to hold an enemy in place
   
5. Can be harmed by iron or steel knives, which implies invincibility by any other mean
   

You could take any 2 of those 5 traits and I'll be justified in calling it OP


Your character has no weaknesses. Not only that, but it apparently has a bond with the main "villain" in the series.


Christmas is a Holiday. Holidays generate Holiday Spirit, which the leader uses to grow stronger. It can't be hurt, because there's nothing to hurt. Unless there is some real life historical reason why Bonfire Night is connected to Christmas, you can't have a bond with it. As far as I know, the only spirits that bond with Christmas are Santa and Krampus.


I can't possibly accept him as he is, or metagaming will destroy the RP

 

[Forehead]

Name: "I'm Yorkes!" "I'm Gertrudes..."


Species: "I'm a human!" "I'm a holiday spirit..."


Associated Holiday: Groundhog Day


Holiday Date: Originally February 2nd (Varies)


Personality: "Gertrudes is really mean. Well, not mean but he's real hard-headed! He's so arrog--" "Do I really have to listen to this?" "Shhh.. He's arrogant and doesn't always listen but he cares about me and... people. Okay maybe not people but if he sees something unfair, he'd stand up against it and would probably risk his life for the person and me of course, even if he's stuck in my head most of the time." "Thanks kid, real heartfelt. Yorkes is a nice kid, pretty jolly, I even used to call him mini santa. Haha. Pretty determined too, and as he described me, he's caring and kind-hearted and would go to amazing lengths to help me and his friends."


Backstory: "So, I'm nine years old, I have a learning disorder and so as a kid, life was kinda hard. I was bullied at school but my parents really did love me. They even supported my fascination with groundhog day for quite a bit before giving up on me. When I turned nine, Gertrudes found me and inhabited my body. That's the important part." "I approve this message, haha."


Weapon(s): "I have a dagger and some pointed knuckle rings."


Magic Element: "Gertrudes? You can take this one." "Nature."


Abilities: "So errmm.. whenever I'm in control of my body, I have immeasurable muscle tissues which enhance my durability and strength! I'm really strong which is really cool! When near groundhog day, Gertrudes spirit takes over my body and I turn into this large humanoid groundhog with fur and get to talk to groundhogs. Some are real mean!" "I was gonna take this one...."


Weaknesses: "The f--" "I'll take this one. I-- We can't swim at all and he's physically scrawny and slow."


Theme Song: 










Additional Questions

• Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase? "Around January thirtieth to February fifth."
  
• Do you hate Christmas? "I hate that christmas is hogging all the other holdays." "I love christmas, I'm only doing this because of Gertrudes!"
  
• Does Christmas intrude on your holiday? [COLOR= rgb(178, 34, 34)]"The new days cause people to overthink my day and focus on his so yes, yes it does."[/COLOR]
  
• Notes: "Gertrudes talks to me in my head, and only me! I suppose if someone were to talk to me in my head they could talk to G. I also talk to Gertrudes telepathically when he takes over and morphs my body."
  

 

[Kylesar1]

"Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something stran-Where ya kids going!?" ~An encounter with some clearly stuck up kids when they met The Pumpkin King.
Appearance:  "Look at dis purty face."





Name:  "Call me, Pumpkin Head, The Pumpkin King, or Mr. Jack."
Species:  "I'm the Spirit of All Hallows Eve."
Associated Holiday:  "Well, I have a pumpkin for a head so Halloween." 
Holiday Date:  "The 10th month on the 31st"
Personality:  "I'm a little old fashioned and love me a good scare.  I'm not into those fancy doo dads and I Pocks or whatever they called.  Why need them when you can have a mask and candy?  I'm a prankster, lover but also a fighter if you rub me the wrong way.  Mess with me and feel the wrath of the Pumpkin King."
Backstory:  "Well for my existence, I was made when the holiday was made.  You might think since Christmas was ma opposite that I would be enemies but nope, the jolly man use to be ma friend.  I am a juggernaut in the holidays and the big guy seemed very well spirited at first....then it started to happen.  Slowly his influence move from the thanksgiving right to ME.  He was shrouding my holiday for his own.  He changed when his holiday grew and look at me.  I have to see them kids in Santa outfits and Christmas trees on MY day.  It's two months away people, you can wait.  I haven't seen him since and he pretends I don't exist but I know he knows that when I get there i'm going to serve him a big bowl of Halloween treats....I know that sounds good but it isn't!"
Weapon(s):  
"I got ma friend Jeremiah, he's a spooky pitchfork and a plastic pumpkin head full of explosive treats...and jolly ranchers, I love me those little buggers ."
Magic Element:  "Hm, I don't know!  Fear?"
Abilities: "I'm good with a melee weapon, very quick and great at the element of surprise."
Weaknesses: First off, i'm not physically strong, I wasn't made to pull around hay barrels!  Also my head, it's a pumpkin for gods sake, just smash it up!....Actually don't."
Theme Song: 












Additional Questions
Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase?
"In the month of October, full moon nights or when something involving fear is around." 
Do you hate Christmas?


"Well, yes and na.  I mean it's covering up and spreading to me but I understand why people love it but then again its kinda become just a gimme season where people just do it since they want stuff so....I don't know."
Does Christmas intrude on your holiday?
"Like I said from my story, yes!"
 


(And I got it finished! @Kylesar1)

Name: "I'm Yorkes!" "I'm Gertrudes..."


Species: "I'm a human!" "I'm a holiday spirit..."


Associated Holiday: Groundhog Day


Holiday Date: Originally February 2nd (Varies)


Personality: "Gertrudes is really mean. Well, not mean but he's real hard-headed! He's so arrog--" "Do I really have to listen to this?""Shhh.. He's arrogant and doesn't always listen but he people cares about me and... people. Okay maybe not people but if he sees something unfair, he'd stand up against it and would probably risk his life for the person andme, even if he's stuck in my head most of the time." "Thanks kid, real heartfelt. Yorkes is a nice kid, pretty jolly, I even used to call him mini santa. Haha. Pretty determined too, and as he described me, he's caring and kind-hearted and would go to amazing lengths to help me and his friends."


Backstory: "So, I'm nine years old, I have a learning disorder and so as a kid, life was kinda hard. I was bullied at school but my parents really did love me. They even supported my fascination with groundhog day for quite a bit before giving up on me. When I turned twelve, Gertrudes found me and inhabited my body. That's the important part." "I approve this message, haha."


Weapon(s): "I have a dagger and some pointed knuckle rings."


Magic Element: "Gertrudes? You can take this one." "Nature."


Abilities: "So errmm.. whenever I'm in control of my body, I have immeasurable muscle tissues which enhance my durability and strength! I'm really strong which is really cool! When near groundhog day, Gertrudes spirit takes over my body and I turn into this large humanoid groundhog with fur and get to talk to groundhogs. Some are real mean!" "I was gonna take this one...."


Weaknesses: "The f--" "I'll take this one. "I-- We can't swim at all and he's physically scrawny and slow."


Theme Song: Optional


Additional Questions

• Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase? "Around January thirtieth to February fifth."
  
• Do you hate Christmas? "I hate that christmas is hogging all the other holdays." "I love christmas, I'm only doing this because of Gertrudes!"
  
• Does Christmas intrude on your holiday? [COLOR= rgb(178, 34, 34)]"The new days cause people to overthink my day and focus on his so yes, it does."[/COLOR]
  
• Notes: "Gertrudes talks to me in my head, and only me! I suppose if someone were to talk to me in my head they could talk to G. I also talk to Gertrudes telepathically when he takes over and morphs my body."
  

Nicely Done, Both of yous


Accepted!

 

[BlueClover]

Nicely Done, Both of yous


Accepted!

(Mr. Jack right now)

 

[Forehead]

Nicely Done, Both of yous


Accepted!

If only Gertrude could smile...

 

[BlueClover]

If only Gertrude could smile...

(Here you go :3)

 

[Kylesar1]

@Puggie


Resubmit it on this thread, then it's accepted


@Tanfam


Post your CS here

 

[Spice]

[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Appearance:[/FONT]

[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Name:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]La Calavera Catrina, Catrina[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Species:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Holiday Spirit[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Associated Holiday:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Dia De Los Muertos[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Holiday Date:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]November 1st and 2nd[/COLOR][/FONT]


Personality:


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)][FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']I am a very elegant spirit, as seen in my name. I do not consider myself of too high of importance, I only wish to help people. People tend to think that I am one who is disrespectful to those who are believed to be lesser than me due to my appearance, but that's just a common misunderstanding. Just don't get on my back side. You'll regret it. [/COLOR][/FONT]


Backstory:


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]I started this holiday when I was murdered, but my death doesn't bother me anymore. I wanted everyone to be able to see each other, even from different from between the spiritual and the worldly planes. And so that's when it started. I met the Pumpkin King when I had started, seeing as how our holidays were one after another. We became friends after a little while, and so I met Santa. He was so happy at first, until his power turned him corrupt. His holiday completely shrouded mine and Mr.Jack's holidays. I'm not going to lie, my holiday does kind of overlap his, seeing as the people were preparing for mine before it starts, but he is a little understanding because of how close our holidays turned out to be, and I haven't become corrupt like Santa either. [/COLOR][/FONT]


Weapon(s):


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Well, I have my candy skulls that I use as what Americans call 'smoke bombs' as well a beautiful dagger, you just couldn't trust anyone when I was alive. [/COLOR]


Magic Element:


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Death[/COLOR]


Abilities:


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]I can summon the spirits of the deceased to interact with the real world as well as become a full on undead skeleton where I  cannot become injured.[/COLOR][/FONT]


Weaknesses:

[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)][FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']I'm like Pumpkin Head, you don't usually see skeletons doing any heavy lifting. Also, don't pull my head off when I'm a skeleton. It's rude and I lose all sense of direction for the rest of me so end up crashing into things.[/COLOR][/FONT]
​

[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Additional Questions[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Other than your Holiday Date, about what time does Holiday Spirit increase?[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]The last week and a half of October and the first week and a half of November.[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Do you hate Christmas?[/FONT]


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)][FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Yes.[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Does Christmas intrude on your holiday?[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Of course it does! If it intrudes on Mr. Jack's, then why would it not intrude on mine. [/COLOR][/FONT]


(Here it is!)

 

[BlueClover]

[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Appearance:[/FONT]

[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Name:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]La Calavera Catrina, Catrina[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Species:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Holiday Spirit[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Associated Holiday:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Dia De Los Muertos[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Holiday Date:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]November 1st and 2nd[/COLOR][/FONT]


Personality:


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)][FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']I am a very elegant spirit, as seen in my name. I do not consider myself of too high of importance, I only wish to help people. People tend to think that I am one who is disrespectful to those who are believed to be lesser than me due to my appearance, but that's just a common misunderstanding. Just don't get on my back side. You'll regret it. [/COLOR][/FONT]


Backstory:


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]I started this holiday when I was murdered, but my death doesn't bother me anymore. I wanted everyone to be able to see each other, even from different from between the spiritual and the worldly planes. And so that's when it started. I met the Pumpkin King when I had started, seeing as how our holidays were one after another. We became friends after a little while, and so I met Santa. He was so happy at first, until his power turned him corrupt. His holiday completely shrouded mine and Mr.Jack's holidays. I'm not going to lie, my holiday does kind of overlap his, seeing as the people were preparing for mine before it starts, but he is a little understanding because of how close our holidays turned out to be, and I haven't become corrupt like Santa either. [/COLOR][/FONT]


Weapon(s):


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Well, I have my candy skulls that I use as what Americans call 'smoke bombs' as well a beautiful dagger, you just couldn't trust anyone when I was alive. [/COLOR]


Magic Element:


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Death[/COLOR]


Abilities:


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]I can summon the spirits of the deceased to interact with the real world as well as become a full on undead skeleton where I  cannot become injured.[/COLOR][/FONT]


Weaknesses:

[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)][FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']I'm like Pumpkin Head, you don't usually see skeletons doing any heavy lifting. Also, don't pull my head off when I'm a skeleton. It's rude and I lose all sense of direction for the rest of me so end up crashing into things.[/COLOR][/FONT]
​

[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Additional Questions[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Other than your Holiday Date, about what time does Holiday Spirit increase?[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]The last week and a half of October and the first week and a half of November.[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Do you hate Christmas?[/FONT]


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)][FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Yes.[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Does Christmas intrude on your holiday?[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Of course it does! If it intrudes on Mr. Jack's, then why would it not intrude on mine. [/COLOR][/FONT]


(Here it is!)

Eeeeee!  You got me hyped   It also looks very lovely.

 

[Tanfam]

Appearance:

Name: "Serena, yes, just Serena."


Species: Servant 


Associated Holiday: Thanksgiving 


Holiday Date:  November 24th, on a thursday.


Personality:  "Well, I'm a very nice person, and very kind...is that all? Cause that pretty much summarizes my dull personality!" (Giggles)


Backstory: "You see, thanksgiving can't be personified,  it is a living, entity that lives amongst each and every one of you. It manifests when you express gratitude to someone, and once in a blue moon, it will enter the heart of a very kind and pure soul. That's me! Serena!"


"I was just a normal highschooler, attending school,  and being a regular kid. I don't know when I got it, (the blessing, as I would call it) but I do know when all of a sudden, I had a weird obsession with Thanksgiving and turkey...Over time, I learned to communicate with Thanksgiving, and now I'm kind of its servant, helping to spread it's word."


Weapon(s): I don't carry weapons...unless if someone provokes me I have a magical musket that I can summon. 


Magic Element: Earth


Abilities: Up to 3


"Let's all sit down!": Serena can conjure a banquet off food (it saves her parents a lot of money, although eating a thanksgiving dinner everyday can get boring...) and it compels people to sit down and eat.


"Ralph!": Serena can conjure her pet turkey, Ralph. Doesn't really do anything but peck people and gobble. 


Weaknesses: Serena sometimes has serious doubts about her master, and she often will question if her master is really there. She also dislikes the way thanksgiving was portrayed, and if mentioned, she would go on a huge rant. 


Theme Song: Huh. Never had to put a theme song.


Additional Questions

• Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase? "Thanksgiving week, and the entire month of November!"
  
• Do you hate Christmas? "Why would I hate Christmas?"
  
• Does Christmas intrude on your holiday? "No...we are one month apart..."
  

 

[Kylesar1]

Appearance:





Name: "Serena, yes, just Serena."


Species: Servant 


Associated Holiday: Thanksgiving 


Holiday Date:  November 24th, on a thursday.


Personality:  "Well, I'm a very nice person, and very kind...is that all? Cause that pretty much summarizes my dull personality!" (Giggles)


Backstory: "You see, thanksgiving can't be personified,  it is a living, entity that lives amongst each and every one of you. It manifests when you express gratitude to someone, and once in a blue moon, it will enter the heart of a very kind and pure soul. That's me! Serena!"


"I was just a normal highschooler, attending school,  and being a regular kid. I don't know when I got it, (the blessing, as I would call it) but I do know when all of a sudden, I had a weird obsession with Thanksgiving and turkey...Over time, I learned to communicate with Thanksgiving, and now I'm kind of its servant, helping to spread it's word."


Weapon(s): I don't carry weapons...unless if someone provokes me I have a magical musket that I can summon. 


Magic Element: Earth


Abilities: Up to 3


"Let's all sit down!": Serena can conjure a banquet off food (it saves her parents a lot of money, although eating a thanksgiving dinner everyday can get boring...) and it compels people to sit down and eat.


"Ralph!": Serena can conjure her pet turkey, Ralph. Doesn't really do anything but peck people and gobble. 


Weaknesses: Serena sometimes has serious doubts about her master, and she often will question if her master is really there. She also dislikes the way thanksgiving was portrayed, and if mentioned, she would go on a huge rant. 


Theme Song: Huh. Never had to put a theme song.


Additional Questions

• Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase? "Thanksgiving week, and the entire month of November!"
  
• Do you hate Christmas? "Why would I hate Christmas?"
  
• Does Christmas intrude on your holiday? "No...we are one month apart..."
  

[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Appearance:[/FONT]

[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Name:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]La Calavera Catrina, Catrina[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Species:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Holiday Spirit[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Associated Holiday:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Dia De Los Muertos[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Holiday Date:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]November 1st and 2nd[/COLOR][/FONT]


Personality:


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)][FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']I am a very elegant spirit, as seen in my name. I do not consider myself of too high of importance, I only wish to help people. People tend to think that I am one who is disrespectful to those who are believed to be lesser than me due to my appearance, but that's just a common misunderstanding. Just don't get on my back side. You'll regret it. [/COLOR][/FONT]


Backstory:


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]I started this holiday when I was murdered, but my death doesn't bother me anymore. I wanted everyone to be able to see each other, even from different from between the spiritual and the worldly planes. And so that's when it started. I met the Pumpkin King when I had started, seeing as how our holidays were one after another. We became friends after a little while, and so I met Santa. He was so happy at first, until his power turned him corrupt. His holiday completely shrouded mine and Mr.Jack's holidays. I'm not going to lie, my holiday does kind of overlap his, seeing as the people were preparing for mine before it starts, but he is a little understanding because of how close our holidays turned out to be, and I haven't become corrupt like Santa either. [/COLOR][/FONT]


Weapon(s):


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Well, I have my candy skulls that I use as what Americans call 'smoke bombs' as well a beautiful dagger, you just couldn't trust anyone when I was alive. [/COLOR]


Magic Element:


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Death[/COLOR]


Abilities:


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]I can summon the spirits of the deceased to interact with the real world as well as become a full on undead skeleton where I  cannot become injured.[/COLOR][/FONT]


Weaknesses:

[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)][FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']I'm like Pumpkin Head, you don't usually see skeletons doing any heavy lifting. Also, don't pull my head off when I'm a skeleton. It's rude and I lose all sense of direction for the rest of me so end up crashing into things.[/COLOR][/FONT]
​

[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Additional Questions[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Other than your Holiday Date, about what time does Holiday Spirit increase?[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]The last week and a half of October and the first week and a half of November.[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Do you hate Christmas?[/FONT]


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)][FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Yes.[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Does Christmas intrude on your holiday?[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Of course it does! If it intrudes on Mr. Jack's, then why would it not intrude on mine. [/COLOR][/FONT]


(Here it is!)

Excellent Characters


Accepted


We start tomorrow

 

[Catnapper]

It seems apparent that you're doing some heavy metagaming

1. A close range weapon that can kill instantly
   
2. The ability to teleport, thus instantly closing or lengthening a gap.
   
3. Only being able to be killed by being hung, which involves both getting close and a multi-step process
   
4. Telekinesis, which allows you to hold an enemy in place
   
5. Can be harmed by iron or steel knives, which implies invincibility by any other mean
   

You could take any 2 of those 5 traits and I'll be justified in calling it OP


Your character has no weaknesses. Not only that, but it apparently has a bond with the main "villain" in the series.


Christmas is a Holiday. Holidays generate Holiday Spirit, which the leader uses to grow stronger. It can't be hurt, because there's nothing to hurt. Unless there is some real life historical reason why Bonfire Night is connected to Christmas, you can't have a bond with it. As far as I know, the only spirits that bond with Christmas are Santa and Krampus.


I can't possibly accept him as he is, or metagaming will destroy the RP

Alright, I think I missed some points here. He can teleport, but only distances that he can see (i.e. he can't teleport from the north to the south pole). I missed that he can be harmed by fire, plus knives. He is weaker in the day. I also put that weakening him can make him unable to do anything. Also, despite his seemingly hostile personality, he's unlikely to kill anyone unless he really feels he needs to. I had to give the character some kind of dangerous appearance and character, but unless anything actually happens that he needs to stop, he will.


The bond with Christmas is because in Britain, Bonfire Night is the last major holiday before everybody starts getting hyped for Christmas. The bond thing means that if Bonfire Night is killed, Christmas is weakened. Not weakened a lot, but weakened a bit. So, no, it's not historical, but it'll add some tension to the game. I envision my character being seen as sort of a key to Christmas. You can take that out and I'll just hate Christmas like everyone else if you want, I guess.

 

[Tanfam]

Alright, I think I missed some points here. He can teleport, but only distances that he can see (i.e. he can't teleport from the north to the south pole). I missed that he can be harmed by fire, plus knives. He is weaker in the day. I also put that weakening him can make him unable to do anything. Also, despite his seemingly hostile personality, he's unlikely to kill anyone unless he really feels he needs to. I had to give the character some kind of dangerous appearance and character, but unless anything actually happens that he needs to stop, he will.


The bond with Christmas is because in Britain, Bonfire Night is the last major holiday before everybody starts getting hyped for Christmas. The bond thing means that if Bonfire Night is killed, Christmas is weakened. Not weakened a lot, but weakened a bit. So, no, it's not historical, but it'll add some tension to the game. I envision my character being seen as sort of a key to Christmas. You can take that out and I'll just hate Christmas like everyone else if you want, I guess.

I for one haven't heard of bonfire night...maybe because I don't live in the UK, but I don't think it's close to Christmas in any way. You say it's the last major holiday until christmas...in your country. There's thanksgiving in America. Then again, things get complicated because we live in so many different places...and maybe British people don't celebrate thanksgiving. I think that the closer the holiday is to Christmas, the more important it is, because they would be the first ones to feel the overall Christmas takeover.

 

[Kylesar1]

Alright, I think I missed some points here. He can teleport, but only distances that he can see (i.e. he can't teleport from the north to the south pole). I missed that he can be harmed by fire, plus knives. He is weaker in the day. I also put that weakening him can make him unable to do anything. Also, despite his seemingly hostile personality, he's unlikely to kill anyone unless he really feels he needs to. I had to give the character some kind of dangerous appearance and character, but unless anything actually happens that he needs to stop, he will.


The bond with Christmas is because in Britain, Bonfire Night is the last major holiday before everybody starts getting hyped for Christmas. The bond thing means that if Bonfire Night is killed, Christmas is weakened. Not weakened a lot, but weakened a bit. So, no, it's not historical, but it'll add some tension to the game. I envision my character being seen as sort of a key to Christmas. You can take that out and I'll just hate Christmas like everyone else if you want, I guess.

Think about the Pokemon Shedinja. It has an ability called Wonder Guard, meaning that he's immune to anything that doesn't do super-effective damage. Is that a weakness? Nope. That's essentially what your character has, but in this case, it's fire and knives.........and nothing else, I assume


The instant kill weapon with teleportation has to go. There's just no way. I've had too many experiences where RPers use a personality weakness and don't stick to it, making their character OP


The problem is that his "weaknesses" are far too specific. I don't mind a specific death. I do, however, mind something that specific. There's a difference between being killed by fire and being killed by a fire arrow to the chest. The second one is OP as it's too specific. There's only one way to shoot a fire arrow in someone's chest. In this case, there's only 1 way to hang someone. There are plenty of ways to asphyxiate him


If you want him to be seen as a key to christmas, I'll need an explanation on how

 

[Muffinboi]

Done.

 

[Catnapper]

Think about the Pokemon Shedinja. It has an ability called Wonder Guard, meaning that he's immune to anything that doesn't do super-effective damage. Is that a weakness? Nope. That's essentially what your character has, but in this case, it's fire and knives.........and nothing else, I assume


The instant kill weapon with teleportation has to go. There's just no way. I've had too many experiences where RPers use a personality weakness and don't stick to it, making their character OP


The problem is that his "weaknesses" are far too specific. I don't mind a specific death. I do, however, mind something that specific. There's a difference between being killed by fire and being killed by a fire arrow to the chest. The second one is OP as it's too specific. There's only one way to shoot a fire arrow in someone's chest. In this case, there's only 1 way to hang someone. There are plenty of ways to asphyxiate him


If you want him to be seen as a key to christmas, I'll need an explanation on how

I for one haven't heard of bonfire night...maybe because I don't live in the UK, but I don't think it's close to Christmas in any way. You say it's the last major holiday until christmas...in your country. There's thanksgiving in America. Then again, things get complicated because we live in so many different places...and maybe British people don't celebrate thanksgiving. I think that the closer the holiday is to Christmas, the more important it is, because they would be the first ones to feel the overall Christmas takeover.

No, we don't celebrate thanksgiving. Ask any British person and they'll tell you that Bonfire Night is the last thing before Christmas (which explains Bonfire Night's power, like you said). It's the last holiday before, as you put it, the Christmas takeover. Here's a wiki page on it if you want: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_Fawkes_Night


Teleportation can go then, so can the telekinises. But he needs the weapon, and the power to manipulate darkness (in a sort of smoke grenade fashion; would work better inside a house, but wouldn't do a lot outside). And, the specific death will keep him interesting. Besides, if you've got fire and knives, it's easy enough to power him down enough to be able to easily kill him (i.e. so weak he can't move, so he can easily be hung; the hanging thing sticks with the theme of Guy Fawkes).

 

[Kylesar1]

Appearance:


View attachment 190411


Name: Devi


Species: Holiday Spirit


Associated Holiday: Diwali


Holiday Date: Varies per Hindu Lunisolar calendar


Personality: Devi appears to be a compassionate individual, and while this is most certainly true, she also is well aware what suffering is. She lends her ears to those who don't have any other listeners.


Backstory: Might do it later.


Weapon(s): A spear


Magic Element: Light


Abilities: She can manipulate light. Also, an aura of light surrounds her which counters dark magic.


Weaknesses:


Necromancy


Toxins


Theme Song:


None for now.


Additional Questions

• Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase? Summer Solstice
  
• Do you hate Christmas?  "Not really."
  
• Does Christmas intrude on your holiday? "Nope."
  

"Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something stran-Where ya kids going!?" ~An encounter with some clearly stuck up kids when they met The Pumpkin King.
Appearance:  "Look at dis purty face."





Name:  "Call me, Pumpkin Head, The Pumpkin King, or Mr. Jack."
Species:  "I'm the Spirit of All Hallows Eve."
Associated Holiday:  "Well, I have a pumpkin for a head so Halloween." 
Holiday Date:  "The 10th month on the 31st"
Personality:  "I'm a little old fashioned and love me a good scare.  I'm not into those fancy doo dads and I Pocks or whatever they called.  Why need them when you can have a mask and candy?  I'm a prankster, lover but also a fighter if you rub me the wrong way.  Mess with me and feel the wrath of the Pumpkin King."
Backstory:  "Well for my existence, I was made when the holiday was made.  You might think since Christmas was ma opposite that I would be enemies but nope, the jolly man use to be ma friend.  I am a juggernaut in the holidays and the big guy seemed very well spirited at first....then it started to happen.  Slowly his influence move from the thanksgiving right to ME.  He was shrouding my holiday for his own.  He changed when his holiday grew and look at me.  I have to see them kids in Santa outfits and Christmas trees on MY day.  It's two months away people, you can wait.  I haven't seen him since and he pretends I don't exist but I know he knows that when I get there i'm going to serve him a big bowl of Halloween treats....I know that sounds good but it isn't!"
Weapon(s):  
"I got ma friend Jeremiah, he's a spooky pitchfork and a plastic pumpkin head full of explosive treats...and jolly ranchers, I love me those little buggers ."
Magic Element:  "Hm, I don't know!  Fear?"
Abilities: "I'm good with a melee weapon, very quick and great at the element of surprise."
Weaknesses: First off, i'm not physically strong, I wasn't made to pull around hay barrels!  Also my head, it's a pumpkin for gods sake, just smash it up!....Actually don't."
Theme Song: 












Additional Questions
Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase?
"In the month of October, full moon nights or when something involving fear is around." 
Do you hate Christmas?


"Well, yes and na.  I mean it's covering up and spreading to me but I understand why people love it but then again its kinda become just a gimme season where people just do it since they want stuff so....I don't know."
Does Christmas intrude on your holiday?
"Like I said from my story, yes!"
 


(And I got it finished! @Kylesar1)

Name: "I'm Yorkes!" "I'm Gertrudes..."


Species: "I'm a human!" "I'm a holiday spirit..."


Associated Holiday: Groundhog Day


Holiday Date: Originally February 2nd (Varies)


Personality: "Gertrudes is really mean. Well, not mean but he's real hard-headed! He's so arrog--" "Do I really have to listen to this?" "Shhh.. He's arrogant and doesn't always listen but he cares about me and... people. Okay maybe not people but if he sees something unfair, he'd stand up against it and would probably risk his life for the person and me of course, even if he's stuck in my head most of the time." "Thanks kid, real heartfelt. Yorkes is a nice kid, pretty jolly, I even used to call him mini santa. Haha. Pretty determined too, and as he described me, he's caring and kind-hearted and would go to amazing lengths to help me and his friends."


Backstory: "So, I'm nine years old, I have a learning disorder and so as a kid, life was kinda hard. I was bullied at school but my parents really did love me. They even supported my fascination with groundhog day for quite a bit before giving up on me. When I turned nine, Gertrudes found me and inhabited my body. That's the important part." "I approve this message, haha."


Weapon(s): "I have a dagger and some pointed knuckle rings."


Magic Element: "Gertrudes? You can take this one." "Nature."


Abilities: "So errmm.. whenever I'm in control of my body, I have immeasurable muscle tissues which enhance my durability and strength! I'm really strong which is really cool! When near groundhog day, Gertrudes spirit takes over my body and I turn into this large humanoid groundhog with fur and get to talk to groundhogs. Some are real mean!" "I was gonna take this one...."


Weaknesses: "The f--" "I'll take this one. I-- We can't swim at all and he's physically scrawny and slow."


Theme Song: 










Additional Questions

• Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase? "Around January thirtieth to February fifth."
  
• Do you hate Christmas? "I hate that christmas is hogging all the other holdays." "I love christmas, I'm only doing this because of Gertrudes!"
  
• Does Christmas intrude on your holiday? [COLOR= rgb(178, 34, 34)]"The new days cause people to overthink my day and focus on his so yes, yes it does."[/COLOR]
  
• Notes: "Gertrudes talks to me in my head, and only me! I suppose if someone were to talk to me in my head they could talk to G. I also talk to Gertrudes telepathically when he takes over and morphs my body."
  

[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Appearance:[/FONT]

[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Name:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]La Calavera Catrina, Catrina[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Species:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Holiday Spirit[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Associated Holiday:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Dia De Los Muertos[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Holiday Date:[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]November 1st and 2nd[/COLOR][/FONT]


Personality:


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)][FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']I am a very elegant spirit, as seen in my name. I do not consider myself of too high of importance, I only wish to help people. People tend to think that I am one who is disrespectful to those who are believed to be lesser than me due to my appearance, but that's just a common misunderstanding. Just don't get on my back side. You'll regret it. [/COLOR][/FONT]


Backstory:


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]I started this holiday when I was murdered, but my death doesn't bother me anymore. I wanted everyone to be able to see each other, even from different from between the spiritual and the worldly planes. And so that's when it started. I met the Pumpkin King when I had started, seeing as how our holidays were one after another. We became friends after a little while, and so I met Santa. He was so happy at first, until his power turned him corrupt. His holiday completely shrouded mine and Mr.Jack's holidays. I'm not going to lie, my holiday does kind of overlap his, seeing as the people were preparing for mine before it starts, but he is a little understanding because of how close our holidays turned out to be, and I haven't become corrupt like Santa either. [/COLOR][/FONT]


Weapon(s):


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Well, I have my candy skulls that I use as what Americans call 'smoke bombs' as well a beautiful dagger, you just couldn't trust anyone when I was alive. [/COLOR]


Magic Element:


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Death[/COLOR]


Abilities:


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]I can summon the spirits of the deceased to interact with the real world as well as become a full on undead skeleton where I  cannot become injured.[/COLOR][/FONT]


Weaknesses:

[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)][FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']I'm like Pumpkin Head, you don't usually see skeletons doing any heavy lifting. Also, don't pull my head off when I'm a skeleton. It's rude and I lose all sense of direction for the rest of me so end up crashing into things.[/COLOR][/FONT]
​

[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Additional Questions[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Other than your Holiday Date, about what time does Holiday Spirit increase?[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]The last week and a half of October and the first week and a half of November.[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Do you hate Christmas?[/FONT]


[COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)][FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Yes.[/COLOR][/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS']Does Christmas intrude on your holiday?[/FONT]


[FONT= 'Trebuchet MS'][COLOR= rgb(0, 128, 128)]Of course it does! If it intrudes on Mr. Jack's, then why would it not intrude on mine. [/COLOR][/FONT]


(Here it is!)

Appearance:





Name: "Serena, yes, just Serena."


Species: Servant 


Associated Holiday: Thanksgiving 


Holiday Date:  November 24th, on a thursday.


Personality:  "Well, I'm a very nice person, and very kind...is that all? Cause that pretty much summarizes my dull personality!" (Giggles)


Backstory: "You see, thanksgiving can't be personified,  it is a living, entity that lives amongst each and every one of you. It manifests when you express gratitude to someone, and once in a blue moon, it will enter the heart of a very kind and pure soul. That's me! Serena!"


"I was just a normal highschooler, attending school,  and being a regular kid. I don't know when I got it, (the blessing, as I would call it) but I do know when all of a sudden, I had a weird obsession with Thanksgiving and turkey...Over time, I learned to communicate with Thanksgiving, and now I'm kind of its servant, helping to spread it's word."


Weapon(s): I don't carry weapons...unless if someone provokes me I have a magical musket that I can summon. 


Magic Element: Earth


Abilities: Up to 3


"Let's all sit down!": Serena can conjure a banquet off food (it saves her parents a lot of money, although eating a thanksgiving dinner everyday can get boring...) and it compels people to sit down and eat.


"Ralph!": Serena can conjure her pet turkey, Ralph. Doesn't really do anything but peck people and gobble. 


Weaknesses: Serena sometimes has serious doubts about her master, and she often will question if her master is really there. She also dislikes the way thanksgiving was portrayed, and if mentioned, she would go on a huge rant. 


Theme Song: Huh. Never had to put a theme song.


Additional Questions

• Other than your Holiday date, about what time does your Holiday Spirit increase? "Thanksgiving week, and the entire month of November!"
  
• Do you hate Christmas? "Why would I hate Christmas?"
  
• Does Christmas intrude on your holiday? "No...we are one month apart..."
  

The first post is up. 

 

[Catnapper]

The first post is up. 

Wait did I miss something or did mine get completely denied

 

[Kylesar1]

Wait did I miss something or did mine get completely denied

You haven't been denied, but you haven't been accepted


There have been 0 changes to the CS. I can't accept until the changes in question are made

 

[Catnapper]

You haven't been denied, but you haven't been accepted


There have been 0 changes to the CS. I can't accept until the changes in question are made

Alright, could you just review the changes I suggested in my last post? I don't know if it's right or not.