Celestial Speck
I'm not a bad guy, I swear!
"I won't justify any slaughters, swordmaiden."
The words that came from his mouth weren't something that was always there. Days ago, his answer might have been different, drowned out by desire aided by the confusion of his dream. But the facts now present changed, Hassan had time to think, to see life from a different angle. He was still loyal to Sertek, he would follow that man to hell and back, and that did not change, but that war...It would be a lie to say he knew what he fought for. Perhaps he wanted to fight for a world where people acknowledged him, a world where there would be no cruelty on the streets, but now...He can't say he regrets everything, Irelia won't force him to repent from a past that is already done, but if he finds peace, so be it. If he doesn't, so be it.
"Your companions fought well, I respected them to the best of my ability, but war wages on. They were the enemy, and so was I, there was nothing I could aside from burying them. Such is the price of war." He tsked under his breath- there was a reason why he preferred fighting on actual battlefields instead of towns such as those. But he just couldn't ignore Sertek's orders at the time, even if he had his own sense of honor, he was still blinded. "But if you want an answer that pleases you, then hear it: I was foolish, blinded by a young dream that took my hand in a path that confused and blinded me. While the bond I share with my companions is real, and while I could have perhaps joined another path- this is the one I took. I regret my young naivety...But, I'll walk this path I forged to myself. Anything else would be cowardice to those who died at the War!"
In a moment, Hassan thought and tried to conceptualize another future. One where he didn't even touch the blade, where he grew with acknowledgment from people that mattered, and not faces in the street that did no matter anymore. In that future, he would be holding hands with someone, perhaps. His blood running in someone else's veins, as he would smile at a flower field upon peaceful fields, in a world where war did not exist.
This was not this world, alas. Yet Sertek got so close to it...He almost envied him.
Hassan too, looked at Sertek as Irelia did, but he closed his eyes. "There is a chance he used me, using every tactic at his disposal to earn my loyalty, I won't deny that is a possibility my child self overlooked," He breathed those words out almost as if they were painful, like an invisible force grasping against his heart. "But I saw his eyes, swordmaiden. He truly loves the woman he married, and he truly cares for those he took under, in a way. Even if it is in this new light of his."
A breath escaped his lips, his voice trying its best to sound neutral. "Don't be so foolish to think that in this world, good and evil exist. Malice exists, just as love does as well. That manner of thought will blind you as it did me. Memories are temporary for immortals, but such mortal feelings are transcendent to all."
The words that came from his mouth weren't something that was always there. Days ago, his answer might have been different, drowned out by desire aided by the confusion of his dream. But the facts now present changed, Hassan had time to think, to see life from a different angle. He was still loyal to Sertek, he would follow that man to hell and back, and that did not change, but that war...It would be a lie to say he knew what he fought for. Perhaps he wanted to fight for a world where people acknowledged him, a world where there would be no cruelty on the streets, but now...He can't say he regrets everything, Irelia won't force him to repent from a past that is already done, but if he finds peace, so be it. If he doesn't, so be it.
"Your companions fought well, I respected them to the best of my ability, but war wages on. They were the enemy, and so was I, there was nothing I could aside from burying them. Such is the price of war." He tsked under his breath- there was a reason why he preferred fighting on actual battlefields instead of towns such as those. But he just couldn't ignore Sertek's orders at the time, even if he had his own sense of honor, he was still blinded. "But if you want an answer that pleases you, then hear it: I was foolish, blinded by a young dream that took my hand in a path that confused and blinded me. While the bond I share with my companions is real, and while I could have perhaps joined another path- this is the one I took. I regret my young naivety...But, I'll walk this path I forged to myself. Anything else would be cowardice to those who died at the War!"
In a moment, Hassan thought and tried to conceptualize another future. One where he didn't even touch the blade, where he grew with acknowledgment from people that mattered, and not faces in the street that did no matter anymore. In that future, he would be holding hands with someone, perhaps. His blood running in someone else's veins, as he would smile at a flower field upon peaceful fields, in a world where war did not exist.
This was not this world, alas. Yet Sertek got so close to it...He almost envied him.
Hassan too, looked at Sertek as Irelia did, but he closed his eyes. "There is a chance he used me, using every tactic at his disposal to earn my loyalty, I won't deny that is a possibility my child self overlooked," He breathed those words out almost as if they were painful, like an invisible force grasping against his heart. "But I saw his eyes, swordmaiden. He truly loves the woman he married, and he truly cares for those he took under, in a way. Even if it is in this new light of his."
A breath escaped his lips, his voice trying its best to sound neutral. "Don't be so foolish to think that in this world, good and evil exist. Malice exists, just as love does as well. That manner of thought will blind you as it did me. Memories are temporary for immortals, but such mortal feelings are transcendent to all."