The Person Above Rolled a 1

[saor_illust]

You remember ALMOST your entire work wardrobe is in the laundry but when you put on what's left of your work wardrobe you slip and fall in the mud. Now your entire work wardrobe is in the laundry, and you need to take a shower.

I try to post a reply on RpN but I roll a 1.

 

[official clown business]

You're doing a one-on-one RP with another person via PM, and you trust them with some of your craziest interests. In fact, that's basically what the RP is about. If anyone else saw even a single post in that thread, you'd both leave the site out of embarrassment for sure!

While making a reply, you're looking through Roleplay Discussion & Advice and see something you really want to talk about, so you type something up. The only problem was... you mixed up the tabs and accidentally posted your replies in the opposite threads.

Guess it's time to change your identity and move to Italy now.

I'm tired of the material world, so I decide to leave everything behind and start a new life in the Alaskan wilderness... but I roll a 1.

 

[saor_illust]

You start a new life in the Alaskan wilderness successfully, but on your first night there, a polar bear attacks you and murders you brutally. Now you are dead.

I go to bed, but I roll a 1.

 

[Winter_Wolf]

Plot twist, it was the bathtub, not the bed.

I greet the boss with the usual "mornin'" as I walk into work, but roll a 1.

 

[Gundam Watcher 27]

You turn up late, and get fired.


I take the garbage out, but roll a 1

 

[dazzling]

The garbage breaks inside your living room, which splatters rotten food and trash everywhere

I try to bake cookies, but roll a 1.

 

[saor_illust]

You try to bake cookies but you fall asleep and when you wake up the cookies are burnt and your house stinks.

I try to walk but I roll a 1

 

[Ilikepie]

you end up breaking your legs tripping on a cat

I try to make a wish using the dragon balls but roll a 1.

 

[Idea]

you only brought 6 balls, so you lost them and didn't get a wish. But hey, you did get a compensation kitchen set!

I try to enroll for the next college semester but roll a 1

 

[Winter_Wolf]

You end up signing up for terrible/hard classes you aren’t required to take.

I attempt to knock over my friend’s impressive house of cards, but roll a 1

 

[Idea]

Your friend is more amazing than you realized, and uses some martial arts moves to place you on the table and make a castle of cards with you as the basis.

I try to update some characters but roll a 1

 

[Ilikepie]

You accidently delete your characters.


I try to eat some ice cream but roll a 1.

 

[dazzling]

you drop the ice cream because *surprise* it's in a cone. you then slip over the ice cream on the way out and break your back

i try to act sane but roll a 1

 

[Winter_Wolf]

A photograph of you accompanies the definition of "insane" in the dictionary.

I attempt to take my wallet out of my pocket, but roll a 1.

 

[official clown business]

You're a kleptomaniac with an obsession for wallets. In this world, there's no pocket that isn't yours, and whenever you lose your wallet there's always another one nearby.

After years of finding wallets, the government of the world came up with an unexpected solution: ban all wallets and replace them with something else, so they couldn't ever be stolen again.

In this strange alternate universe, wallets no longer exist. You have spent the last 60 years of your life searching pockets for a wallet that you'll never find.

I head out to the bank to make a withdrawal, but roll a 1.

 

[saor_illust]

You head out to the bank to make a withdrawal but the bank just ran out of money and you are shoved out.

I attempt to watch anime.

 

[Servant]

Said anime ends up being Boku no Pico, enjoy.

As a dentist I try to extract my patient's molar but roll a 1.

 

[Winter_Wolf]

You inadvertently dislocate their jaw.

I attempt to dip a chip in salsa.

 

[The Pattern]

You accidentally skinny dip into magma.

I tried to speak Latin but I rolled 1.

 

[Winter_Wolf]

You end up saying “I get hard like Caesar’s bard” near a group of old ladies fluent in Latin.

I watch a food review on YouTube, but roll a 1.

 

[The Pattern]

Turns out you ended up watching a video on how to summon a demon, and you succeeded.

I tried to find my coat, but the dastardly 1 damned me.

 

[Winter_Wolf]

It’s a white coat and you bleed on it although you didn’t know you were even injured before somehow, and it looks like you murdered someone.

I drive the speed limit past a cop, but roll a 1.

 

[Idea]

You crash into the police station.

I try to hold my pee but roll a 1

 

[The Pattern]

You explode into an indescribably horrible mess.

I tried to exist but I was struck with a 1.

 

[Idea]

You fail at existing, and you're starting to notice a pattern here.

I try to binge a manga but roll a 1