Fandom The Day The World Changed { The Last of Us 1x1 with icedthemoon }

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Commander, FEDRA Civilian | 26, 32 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Josh wished he could hold Hayden's hand as they headed out of the mall. But he had a firm grip on Theo and couldn't do so. As they left the mall and headed through the civilian area, he looked at Soren when he spoke. "That's not a bad idea. We can all meet back up at the apartments." Josh agreed, looking at Jacob then at Hayden. "What do you think love?" Josh asked, looking at Hayden. Logan's apartment was getting closer as they walked.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Commnder | 26, 37 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Hayden thought about it and nodded. It was the smartest choice. “We have to drop off the little ones anyway. We can meet back up later.” He smiled. Soren grinned as they got closer to Logan’s apartment. He moved to Josh’s side. “This is good,” he said just for him. “This is really good. I’m proud of you.” He really was. He was so sure that if they could keep this up, this could fix things. Soren was always full of hope.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Commander, FEDRA Civilian | 26, 32 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Jacob smiled at Hayden, a soft one just for him and a little nod. Josh looked at Soren as he moved to his side. "Uh. Thanks." He replied, smiling as they got to Logan's apartment building. Josh dipped his head to them. "Congratulations again brother, and tell Holly I said that as well." Josh said, as Jacob waited for them so they could bring everything up. "Thank you. I'll see you all at the wedding." Logan said, smiling wide. ​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Commnder | 26, 37 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Hayden waved to Logan. “Congratulations!” he called as Soren stepped away to the rest of them so that he could bring all of Logan’s things. He had the rest as well, but he did not mind trekking with it. It was better that he had it than the other two.

Hayden was the first to walk away. As he moved, he watched Kai’s sleeping face. He was so sweet. He smiled towards Theo as well. This could be them. Him and Josh and children. That was never a discussion that they had, and now, Hayden was not even sure if he wanted to have it. He did not want any other kid than the one in his arms.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Commander, FEDRA Civilian | 26, 32 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Logan waved back before he led his brother and future brother-in-law through the building and up the stairs. He was on the second floor, third apartment down. "I'll get the doors for you." Logan said as he looked at Soren and Jacob, smiling. He opened the stairwell doors and then the apartment door as well. "Holly? Are you home my love?" Logan called out, as a red haired woman came from the bedroom. She had soft blue eyes and a small baby bump. It took longer than normal for them to realize she was expecting. "Baby. Ooh. Hey Soren! Jacob!" She said, walking over though when she went to give them a hand, Logan blocked her. "Not while you're expecting dear." He said as she huffed and crossed her arms.

Josh looked at Theo as they walked off, smiling softly at the little boy before looking at Kai and Hayden. "They're adorable." He said softly as they walked. "I know we never talked about kids, but, I wish we had." Josh admitted as they walked, his eyes looking ahead of him so he didn't trip with Theo in his arms.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Commnder | 26, 37 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

They made their way up to the top and Soren waited until Logan had the door open to move inside. He closed the front door and grinned at seeing Holly. “Hello! Congratulations!” He pulled out the clothes from the suit bag and helped put everything down somewhere. “Jacob, have you ever seen a pregnant woman who was so beautiful and lively.” He shook his head. “Some people are always perfect.”

Hayden did not expect for Josh’s thoughts to mirror his own. He looked over, a little confused. “Yeah?” He didn’t know how to take that. “I don’t know how we would have afforded them.” That was true. Money was tight back when money meant something. “No use worrying about that now I guess.” They moved out of the civilian zone.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Commander, FEDRA Civilian | 26, 32 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Holly laughed softly at Soren's words and shook her head. "If you weren't completely and utterly in love with my brother, I'd be concerned you were hitting on my girlfriend." Logan teased, hearing Soren's words as he laughed. "My love, look at all these clothes they helped us get." Logan said, showing off the clothes as they came out. "Those are beautiful!" Holly said, walking over to Soren and hugged him. Then after a moment, she hugged Jacob as well. "You two are so sweet."

Josh looked at Hayden, hearing his words and thought for a moment. "If it was something we wanted, we would've found a way." He said, as they entered the soldier zone and left the civilian zone. "But, you have Kai and Theo to love on and spend time with." Josh added as they headed towards the apartment building.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Commnder | 26, 37 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Soren could not argue this statement. Instead he turned his attention to Holly. He happily hugged her back. “We wanted to make sure you had everything that you need. We have more too.” He slid his arm around Jacob’s waist. “The warehouses are full of so much stuff. I’m going to get permission to either bring you things like a crib or hopefully get permission to take you guys in to choose what you want. Either way, we’re going to get you the right things.” He smiled at them, “Even if I have to use Josh to get it.”

He did. He had Kai and Theo. He loved them. He loved Kai more, thought that was not Theo’s fault. He was a good kid, but Kai was his. Somehow. He had these thoughts so many times. He glanced at Josh. “They would probably love to have you around them too.” It was not exactly what he wanted to say, but it was close enough. The apartment building was close.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Commander, FEDRA Civilian | 26, 32 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Holly smiled at the hug back and heard his words, her eyes widened a little before she smiled wide. "Thank you, so much. You have no idea how much we appreciate that." Holly said as he placed her hand on her stomach. Logan and Jacob were both on board with using Josh if they needed to. Jacob felt the arm around his waist as he smiled at his brother and well, his sister. "We should get going though love." Jacob said, not sure if he wanted to leave the other two alone for long.

Josh looked at Hayden as they got to the apartment building, hearing those words. He didn't have an answer to that, biting his lip as he managed to open the apartment buildings door and let Hayden and Kai through first before following them. "I.. I would love to be around them too. I can imagine how much energy they have." He said softly as he turned to head up the stairs.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Commnder | 26, 37 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Holding onto Jacob, Soren dipped his chin and all but bowed to his family. He kissed Jacob’s cheek. “Of course. We can’t leave those two alone for too long. Otherwise, who knows what kind of mayhem we may find.” He looked back at Logan and Holly. “We will see you at the wedding, and then maybe see another wedding in the future?” He shrugged, and before anyone could say anything, he pulled Jacob out the door with a big grin. This was the beginning of a campaign that would seemingly last the rest of his life.

Hayden nodded a thanks as he entered. A slight smile hinted at the edges of his lips as he thought about Josh being around to see these little ones growing up. Being the father that Hayden knew he could be. As they climbed up the stairs, it was silent for a while. He was too afraid to break this. Ruin it. It was so nice. So good. As they reached the top, he pushed the door open. “Do you think,” he began before he could think better of it. He was just so overwhelmed with the day. “That maybe you could be off a little more?” He only dared to look up a little. He shied away from the possible no.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Commander, FEDRA Civilian | 26, 32 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Jacob felt Soren holding onto him and he smiled when he all but bowed to his family. That was just another reason that solidified why he loved him so much. Logan and Holly, who was blushing at the comment, nodded and waved. Jacob followed Soren out of the door and out into the street. “Well. That was quite a day. So. I have to know. How did you get my workaholic soldier brother to take the night off?” He asked while they walked to the soldier housing.

Josh smiled at the nod and followed Hayden on the stairs. He went carefully and moved quietly. He had caught the slight smile on the edge of his partner’s lips. As they reached the top, he heard Hayden’s words and looked at him as he stepped out onto the fourth floor. “I.. I can try to be home more often.” He replied as he walked towards their apartment. “Wait. I should drop him off right?” He asked pausing in the hallway and looked down at Theo then to Hayden.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Commander | 26, 37 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Soren deftly took Jacob’s hand, something he could do without thinking and did just so many times. As they walked the streets, he smiled uncontrollably. This life was by no means perfect, but it was perfect for what it could be. He loved so much about it. His family, his home, and his fiancé the most. He shrugged again. “Bullying,” he answered simply even though it was never that simple with Josh. “And persistence. When I annoy him enough with being a partnership, he’s more likely willing to be partners. But I think… I think we hit home with the suit shopping. They’ve got fond memories that even time can’t break.”

Try. Of course it was only try. He should not have expected more than that. He knew how it was. If Josh tried, then he did not have to actually do it. Was that what it was, or was that Hayden’s mind assuming the worst? Josh promised that he wanted to make this work. He promised that he still wanted to be married, but how could they possibly do that if he was never home? Try. “Right,” Hayden answered as he went along with the interruption. “This way. He’s in this apartment.” Hayden was not sure if Josh would know that with as little as he was there. Without another word, he stopped at the apartment and knocked on the door. It opened and there was of course Theo’s haggard looking mother. Sometimes, he wondered why the father never opened the door. It wasn’t any of his business. She smiled at them. “Thank you so much for taking him today. It means the world to us that you take such good care of him while we are gone.”​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Commander, FEDRA Civilian | 26, 32 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Jacob smiled softly as he felt Soren take his hand as they headed out onto the streets. He looked at Soren, hearing response to his question and chuckled. He couldn't help it, hearing how his fiancé had been able to get Josh out of work early. "I think we did hit home with the suit shopping, but I also think that there's a gap between them that's going to be hard to bridge." Jacob said quietly as they walked. He knew, deep down, that this little outing was not going to fix such a gap so easily.

Josh looked at Hayden, and he could sense that he'd messed up again. Somehow. He followed Hayden to Theo's apartment and he smiled at the haggard looking mother. Josh, not knowing what to say, handed the sleeping toddler to his mother. "He played hard today, should be asleep for a while longer." He said as he stepped back, not sure what to say. Theo's mother looked familiar and he knew he'd seen her around before. He dipped his head and looked at Hayden. "What about Kai? Should we take him back as well?"​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Commander | 26, 37 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

There it was. That was the divide that Soren was trying so hard to get Josh to jump over. As much as he could bully Josh into taking a day off or going to a suit shop and spending some actual time with his fiancé, there was always going to be something there that did not quite work if the two of them did not try to jump it. They were staying firmly on their sides with the occasional hand out to the other. Even when one of them took that hand, they never left their sides. “They can do this,” Soren insisted as they walked closer to the end of the civilian zone. “If they try, they can do this. I need them to listen to each other. That would make this easier.”

Hayden was almost impressed with Josh’s care in speaking to the woman. Almost because he was still stuck in the pit of ‘try.’ That meant this was not real. He knew it. He nodded to Theo’s mother as she closed the door. He looked down at the sleeping child in his arms and sighed. “Unless you were planning on telling his parents that we are stealing him.” Without another word, he headed down the hall and stopped at that apartment too. He knocked on the door and waited. This was his least favorite part of every day. He never liked to give Kai back. It was true when he told the little boy that Kai was his favorite person. He had been for years.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Commander, FEDRA Civilian | 26, 32 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Jacob shook his head as he sighed heavily. “I don’t know love.” He said softly. “Hayden seems like he doesn’t want to talk. And he blames Josh. For most things. Josh or FEDRA.” He said as he saw the end of the civilization zone and the gate into the soldier side. “And Josh isn’t any better. He’s so caught up in what he’s doing that he won’t listen. I’m sure you’ve noticed.” He said with a shake of his head and a sigh.

Josh sighed softly as he looked at Hayden, hearing his words. He shook his head as the door closed and they headed towards Kaiden’s apartment. Kai, as if hearing that he’d was going back, grumbled and curled closer to Hayden’s chest. Emily opened the door a moment later and smiled, she was tired looking though. “Thank you for watching him. I’m so thankful that he has you to run to.” She said, holding her hands out to take Kai.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Commander | 26, 37 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

One of the hardest things to watch was the fall of that relationship. It was what Josh and Hayden had that made Soren feel like he could do this with Jacob when everything was so new. It was Josh’s assurance that this was worth it, that this was love that made him ask Jacob to come with him. Josh used to seem so sure if who he was with Hayden. Though he did not know them well before the outbreak, he remembered seeing them around. They were always together if both were home. They worked in tandem. He heard stories from their family, and he knew that they were who everyone would want to be. Yet, here they were. They crossed over to the soldier side of the zone as his heart felt heavy. “No one can be blameless in this. I wish we could do more to help them.”

Hayden lifted Kai up and nuzzled his hair with his nose. “Good night, little buddy. I’ll see you later.” He handed Emily back her son with a smile. “Of course. Whatever you need, Emily.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “I hope that you could find some sort of peace today.” They all could hear the arguments between Emily and Justin. He backed away with a nod, and for a moment, just a fraction of a second, he wanted to grab Josh’s hand. He wanted to walk to their apartment together. But why? Why when it was just going to fall apart again? Wouldn’t that only hurt more? Instead, he wasn’t really sure what to do.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Commander, FEDRA Civilian | 26, 32 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Jacob had watched the two men go from friends, to best friends to boyfriends then engaged. He’d always wanted that kind of relationship but he never found it. Not until the world ended. He wanted that closeness, that love. And now he was watching it all fall apart. “All we can do is help them, maybe you can convince Josh to get their wedding set up. I know he’s been putting it off and it’s made Hayden upset.” Jacob suggested as they headed through the soldier side towards the apartments.

Kai was half awake when he felt Hayden nuzzled his hair and then he was in Emily’s arms. He turned to blink bleary eyes at Hayden and waved slightly. Emily smiled at them. “I hope I can. But I’m not so sure anymore. But you two have a wonderful night. I’ll talk to you tomorrow I’m sure.” Emily said as she stepped inside, smiled at Hayden then a smaller one at Josh. As the door shut, Josh slipped his hand down and took Hayden’s. “Ready to go home?”​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Commander | 26, 37 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

The soldier zone felt heavy today. It probably was what they were facing with Josh and Hayden. How could they be so close to their wedding, the day that Soren had been wanting for so long, and still feel like nothing was right? It felt so good earlier today. Soren pulled Jacob closer as they walked. Even if a bunch of those soldier men wanted to say some less than nice things about the relationship, he didn’t care. He was going to force them to understand that not everything was black and white, especially after everything changed. “Maybe. But you have to work on getting Hayden not to shut down so quickly. I know he’s hard a hard time. It’s making things harder for Josh too.” Having so much outside knowledge was hard.

Hayden should not have been surprised when his own fiancé took his hand, but he was. He really was quite surprised. He looked down at their fingers as his slowly intertwined with Josh’s. He felt so right as a part of him. How could something so right have so much wrong with it? He questioned everything again. He was always questioning things. Home. Home with Josh. That was where home was. “Yeah. I am.” He gently squeezed the hand, and he smiled just a little as he stepped away from the door and moved across the hall to their apartment. “And you’re really going to stay home?” His words were full of the doubt that was so often plaguing him. ​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Commander, FEDRA Civilian | 26, 32 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Jacob felt Soren pull him closer and he shifted so he could be. He rested his head on Soren’s shoulder as they walked. “It’s not easy though. He barely lets me in sometimes. I try to get him to listen to me and get him to stop shutting down. But it’s not easy.” He said with a heavy sigh. “And when they do speak to each other, any word can be taken the wrong way. From either of them.” He said as he saw the apartment buildings coming up. Sometimes he wondered if they should have their wedding, when Hayden and Josh were supposed to be married already.

Josh felt the dingers intertwine with his and he smiled softly. He felt that gentle squeeze as he heard his words. “Then let’s go home.” He said, heading with Hayden across the hall. He heard those words and he could sense almost doubt in them. “Yes love. I’m staying home tonight.” He said with a nod as he got to their door snd opened it up. Letting them both inside.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Commander | 26, 37 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

It felt like he and Jacob were playing some sort of dangerous game where they were translators and negotiators. They were always the people in between with two sides of a war. Which side was more volatile and likely to attack with one wrong move from the other? It could be either at any time. As they reached the apartment building, he asked a question that was dangerous. “Do you ever wonder if it would be better for them to not be together anymore?” This was a question Soren could only pose to Jacob. He could say anything and everything that he was thinking to his partner. He would and did state all of his fears and anxieties to him. He never kept anything from him.

Hayden was not sure what to think or say with this realization that this was truly happening. Josh really was going to be there. This was all that Hayden wanted, and yet, it was almost easier to have him leave. What were they supposed to do together? How did this work anymore? They never spent any time together that was not preparing for bed or sleeping. Occasionally they ate together. He stepped inside but didn’t do anything else. He didn’t know what to do. He felt so lost and unsure. “Josh?” Only there were no other words. He didn’t know what to say from there. He looked down at their hands and nothing else came to him.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Commander, FEDRA Civilian | 26, 32 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Jacob looked at Soren, thinking about that for a moment. He truly wasn’t sure what the answer should be. Because he knew they were meant for each other. But what.. what if they were so broken, that they couldn’t.. didn’t work well anymore. “I’ve wondered that but I also know that these two are each other’s half. I think.. it’s not going to be easy but I don’t think they’d be better off not being together anymore.” Jacob said as they got to the apartment building and he opened the door for them.

Josh entered the apartment and he looked at Hayden. He hadn’t had so much free time to spend with his fiancé since the world ended. “Yes love?” Josh asked, hearing his name. “Is everything.. okay?” He added, shifting so he could stand face to face with Hayden. He saw him look at his hands and he didn’t know what was going on in his mind.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Commander | 26, 37 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Soren had similar thoughts on this as well. Occasionally, he thought maybe everyone would be better off without this relationship that was clearly weighing everyone down. It almost felt toxic. But then he thought about how it would be if they did not have each other. He would never be able to pull Josh back again. There would be nothing to anchor him to. He didn’t know Hayden that well, but he assumed it was about the same thing. That was how people were when they had someone meant to be with them. Soren moved inside and waited for Jacob to join him before he moved them to the stairs. “We don’t ever get to be like this, okay? I want to make sure we are always good.”

No. Everything was not okay, but what exactly was the thing that made it so? He wished that he knew. He stared down at their feet. At the floor. At the place where floor met wall. Finally, he pried his eyes back up so that he could look at Josh. He wanted to throw his arms around him and keep him there forever. His Josh. But he didn’t. Instead, he slowed place his hands on Josh’s chest and laid his head there as well, It was like the beginnings of what could have been some sort of hug or embrace. He did not say anything. His words stopped working. But in his mind, he cried out the same things over and over. I miss you.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Commander, FEDRA Civilian | 26, 32 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Jacob joined Soren inside, and he thought about what would happen if Hayden did lose Josh. Not just him being gone for most of the time, but really gone. He would lose him. There would be nothing there. And he wasn’t even sure if having Kai would help either. He moved to the stairs with Soren and sighed, shaking his head. “Of course not. I tell you everything. Just like I always will. Just like I told you I wanted you home every night and when you proposed I wanted the wedding soon.” He said, squeezing the hand that he held. “I’ll never ever not tell you something.”

Josh waited patiently, confused and concerned as he felt the hands placed slowly on his chest. He felt the head laid there as well. His arms wrapped around Hayden’s body as he held him close. He kissed the top of his head and stood there, silently. Holding onto his partner like he never wanted to let go of him.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Commander | 26, 37 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

As they made their way up the stairs, Soren stayed close to Jacob. He always wanted to be close. Jacob was his person. He was his grounding force. Though Soren was not doing too bad before he met Jacob, he knew for certain that he could easily have fallen into being a soldier to survive like Josh did without having him. “And I am always going to tell you everything.” Before the could leave the stairwell, he captured Jacob’s face in his hands. “If I ever get like that, I need you to yank that right out of me.”

Hayden buried his face in Josh’s chest, hands grabbing onto fabric like they would keep him upright. He closed his eyes, and he tried not to see it. All of it. He squeezed tighter, telling himself that everything was going to be okay. That he had Josh with him. He had his hero. He opened his eyes to look out beside him at the room they were in. It was no different than it was before. The creeping in the corner was normal. He turned his head away. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Commander, FEDRA Civilian | 26, 32 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Jacob smiled at Soren as he heard his words and knew that was the truth. They never hid secrets from each other. They talked everything through, and never let anything sit. He felt them pause at the top of the stairs and felt hands capture his face. “Of course love. I’ll never let you get like that. Without asking, I’d just yank it right out of you.” Jacob agreed, nodding his head. He wouldn’t be able to stand it if Soren started acting like Josh was.

Josh felt Hayden bury his face in his chest. And when he felt him squeeze tighter, he did the same. His hold on Hayden getting tighter too. It was instinctual. It was habit. And it was normal. He heard the whispered words and slipped a hand between Hayden’s face and his chest. He gently guided his head up so they were looking at each other. “My love. What are you sorry?” He asked softly, his voice quiet and gentle.​