Fandom Tale of Two Survivors { The Last of Us 1x1 with icedthemoon }

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan and Kaleb Price
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer | 19, 27 | Current location ;; Montana

Kaleb chuckled, seeing that smile on Carlos' face. "As much as I'd like that, any activities are off limits." He said, smiling at the kiss on his cheek, then down onto his neck. "Carlos.." He warned, playfully. He frowned when he saw the other look towards his wound then back at Kaleb. "Well that's no fun" Kaleb said with a small laugh himself.

Alex could picture it. He could see Nate wandering down through the abandoned towns, probably fighting alligators or what ever is down there. He watched as Nate looked like he wanted to say something before changing his mind. Alex could see him bit his lip and look at him, and he wanted to say that Nate should just say something. Not what he was expecting to hear, but Alex smiled all the same. "Yes, you will always have me" He agreed.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews and Carlos Da Silva
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist | 21, 25 | Current location ;; Montana

Carlos groaned. “You wanna talk about no fun. That’s you. No. Fun.” He poked a gentle finger on Kaleb’s lips to emphasize the last two words. He smiled at those lips. Distracted, he traced them, feeling their fullness. With all this excitement of a new friend to play with, he had neglected to show himself the way home. What a shame. He leaned in close before kissing him on the lips once. Twice. A third time before placing that finger back on them. “Okay, I can behave, but only for now and only because it’s off limits not to be. But remember the days when I was your troublemaker? Mmmm.” He closed his eyes and smiled at the memories of them. He shook his head. “I. Am. Being have.”

Nate couldn’t hide that he was lost in his own spiraling thoughts. They knew each other too well not to know this about each other. That meant that he needed to find something else to hide this from himself. He pulled away from their partial embrace, unsure where he was going, and looked towards Alex before looking away. Um. “I need to add notes to the journal,” he told him quickly before retreating to the workbench and staring at the page. Come on Nate. Think of anything else. Stop thinking about whether or not Alex loves you and write your notes.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan and Kaleb Price
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer | 19, 27 | Current location ;; Montana

Kaleb chuckled, hearing the groan from Carlos. "If I remember right, it was Officer Wright that you called no fun" He said, remembering the officer that Kaleb and his group had replaced. Now he was definitely no fun. Kaleb blushed lightly as the finger on his lips, tracing them. Then smiled into the three kisses on his lips, and he'd given back to each one of them. Kaleb raised an eyebrow at Carlos when he saw that. "The day you behave is the day I go back to FEDRA. I think they still have an active presence in Boston. And yes I do, I remember when you asked me for rations, you were so shocked that I'd given them to you." Kaleb said with a laugh. The memories filtered through his mind as he smiled.

Alex could tell Nate was still over thinking. But he wasn't expecting for Nate to pull away from him. He looked hurt for a moment, like this whole mess was his fault. He should've kept his stupid mouth shut. "O-oh Okay" Alex said quietly, watching Nate walk away to the workbench. Alex sat down on their blankets that they'd never picked up. He shifted himself so he was up against the wall and hugged his knees to his chest, head on his knees as he thought about just why he'd said that word. He'd messed everything up, like he knew he would.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews and Carlos Da Silva
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist | 21, 25 | Current location ;; Montana

Carlos thought back on it. “Was that his name? Well, he was a terrible person, and I much preferred when you were around. My Officer Price come to save us all from boredom.” He never could remember anyone else’s name but Kaleb’s. That was probably telling of something. He narrowed his eyes though. That was something he never considered. “You remember that?” It was so long ago. He never thought that of all their meetings before he decided to follow him around like the stalker that he for sure was that he would remember the first meeting. “Those weren’t even for me. Huh. I didn’t think that would have made an impression on you. I made you a whole mural and you still remember me asking for ration cards?”

Nate stared at the journal for too long. None of the words made any sense. He could not keep his mind under control. There was no more coherent train of thoughts. The train jumped the tracks and was joyriding to who knows where. He closed his eyes and tried to focus. Notes. Notes. Yellow flowers. Arnica. Right. He wanted to add in what they learned about it. How much to dilute and how much to use on the wounds. He also wanted to add his observations of how Kaleb was doing. As he peered over at them, his eyes went a little wide. Okay so he was doing well enough to have Carlos all over him. Cool. That was probably not making it into the notebook. But he could add the rest. Almost immediate results. He would check back in with them later to see if it was still progressing or if it was the same. Now seemed like a bad time to interrupt. Now was just a bad time. Bad time? Awkward time? He let out a deep breath, head now resting in his hands. Ooohkay.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan and Kaleb Price
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer | 19, 27 | Current location ;; Montana

Kaleb nodded. "It was his name yes. He was a terrible person, I was glad he'd gotten transferred out so I could come in and save the day." He said with a smile. "I do remember that, it was the first time I met you, and that cute little shocked expression was what really drew me to you. I also remember the next day when I had to 'reprimand' you because you were staring at me." Kaleb said with a smile. "I did love the mural though, that was the best memory from the QZ" He added.

Alex was now in his own head again. Thinking about how much he'd messed up. Did this mean more than five feet? No more farmhouse? Maybe not even cuddles at night or anymore kisses. Alex let out a soft sigh as he kept himself curled up, head still on his knees as he glanced over at Kaleb and Carlos, wanting what they had. He had what they had for a moment, but then it was ripped away by one four letter word. Love.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews and Carlos Da Silva
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist | 21, 25 | Current location ;; Montana

Carlos was shocked. He remembered so much more than he could have ever dreamed. Little things like No Fun’s name and being shocked about ration cards. How Carlos stared. Of course he stared. No one was more beautiful than Kaleb. The fact that more people didn’t stare was absolutely and unendingly shocking. “How do you remember all of that? I thought I was the one obsessed with you. I didn’t think you really even noticed me until the mural. I mean, I was kind of around you all the time. How long was it between those little chance meetings and the mural? I don’t remember anymore. It can’t have been that long. I was infatuated.” He brought a hand up to his cheek. “I still am. Clearly.”

What do you know about love? That was what he kept asking himself. How did he even know? How did he know anything? He loved Alex. But every time he thought about that, he kind of wanted to cry. Did that mean he was wrong? Did that mean this wasn’t love at all? No, he did. Deeply. How long had they known each other? He stopped counting. His mama told him that love wasn’t about the amount of time but the quality of time. Quality. So much quality time. They were constantly together. They were each other’s halves. They were perfect. So why did it hurt him to think about this? Because even if he loved Alex, it didn’t make a whole lot of sense for Alex to love him. And even if he liked him enough to sleep in his arms and kiss him and travel back to some state he hated, that didn’t mean love did it? He raised his head, clearly not about to continue this note thing, and peaked back over at Carlos and Kaleb. They were so cute. So in love. He turned to Alex.

“Alex?” He was up immediately and moving to him. “What’s wrong?” All thoughts of his own confusion were gone.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan and Kaleb Price
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer | 19, 27 | Current location ;; Montana

Kaleb let out a soft chuckle. "I remember it because I couldn't stop looking for you too" He admitted. "From those ration cards on, you were all I ever looked for. I don't think there was much between the little meetings and the mural, but it was enough to kickstart everything" Kaleb admitted. He smiled at Carlos when he felt the man's hand on his cheek. "I'm just as infatuated with you as well" Kaleb told him.

Alex had been thinking about what would happen now. Were they going to part at Nate's group? The three of them leaving Alex alone to go find a safe place on his own. He didn't even hear Nate talking to him, he was pretty much stuck in these thoughts. Alex being alone, surviving alone again, hiding in the forest. Maybe he'd stay at the cabin and let them continue on. Alex was eerily quiet and not responding. It was very much unlike Alex, even in his worst moments he at least responded to words. It was like he'd become a shell as these thoughts swirled around inside.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews and Carlos Da Silva
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist | 21, 25 | Current location ;; Montana

Carlos shook his head still in awe. “We are learning so much about our own past. How is it that we’ve been together this long and you never knew I made that for you and I never knew how much my cute face haunted your thoughts too?” He brought his other hand up to Kaleb’s other cheek so that he cupped his face completely. “Are you telling me that I stressed for all very few days for nothing?”

Nate crouched down in front of him. “Alex? Hey, Alex?” This was not like him. Something had to have happened, and Nate didn’t know what it was. His eyes narrowed in concern as he tried desperately to figure out what was going on and what he could do about it. If he wasn’t responding, was that because he couldn’t hear him? Was he sick? Was there something else going on? It never occurred to him that the turmoil in his own mind could have affected Alex. Instead, all he could think was that he could not lose him. He grabbed on hand in his before tilting his head up to look at him. “Alex, what’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan and Kaleb Price
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer | 19, 27 | Current location ;; Montana

Kaleb was surprised himself. "It really is crazy isn't it? We've been together for now two years? I never did think that mural was for me, but it makes the memory all the better. And your cute face still haunts my thoughts." Kaleb admitted, smiling at Carlos when he cupped both cheeks. "That is exactly what I'm telling you."

Alex was frozen in place, his eyes looking at the ground. He couldn't register much at the moment. He wasn't really breathing either, just small quiet shallow inhales and exhales. No farmhouse, no Nate, alone, no Carlos, just Alex, no Kaleb. Those words swirling around and around in his head. Even Alex had never had this happen to him before. Alex flinched at the contact on his hand, and again at the hand on his head, lifting it up to show watery eyes, tears down his cheeks and a very despondent face. Alex was looking at Nate and at the same time not looking at Nate. It was almost like he was stuck in a nightmare during the day.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews and Carlos Da Silva
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist | 21, 25 | Current location ;; Montana

Carlos smiled so big that it almost hurt. Almost. He loved Kaleb so much, and the swell of his heart at all of this only made him love him more if that was even possible. After all this time, it was amazing that there was still more to learn about each other. Kaleb’s words sent flutters down his stomach like they used to at the very beginning. It was like he was that same young man who was swept away. Overtaken by the moment, Carlos pressed his lips to Kaleb’s, not doing anything too extraordinary or special. He just wanted to show his love. Here he was being swept away again. They were going to be together for the rest of their days, and he loved that.

The first flinch hurt. It hurt Nate in a way that he could not understand. Did it hurt Alex? Was that what was wrong? Did he hurt too? He first thought was the flowers. They were poisonous. Had they done something horribly wrong to get to him like this? Alex was the one to find them, and he was the one to mash them all up. Did a large chunk end up somewhere without them noticing? The second flinch hurt more. The tears meant something was even worse than he thought. He needed to get Alex’s attention. If his mind was not focusing on him, then he didn’t know what it was that was wrong. Nate was a medic. He should know what was wrong, and the fact that he couldn’t figure it out made him panic. “Alex. Alex I need you to tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” He moved himself as close as he could get with the knees in his way. He would push them aside except that he didn’t know how Alex was feeling. He didn’t want to make it worse. His own eyes started to water with fear. Fear of unknown. Fear of potential loss. They almost like Kaleb, and he was still reeling from that. “Alex, please,” he begged. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan and Kaleb Price
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer | 19, 27 | Current location ;; Montana

Kaleb saw that big smile on Carlos' face and he smiled just as big. He kissed Carlos back just as gently, just as sweet. Showing his love in his own way. He felt like that newly appointed officer, blurring lines to crush on a civilian before leaving the zone with him. He had Carlos now, beside him where he belonged.

Alex didn't even know he'd flinched, it was an involuntary action. Nate's words filtered through one ear and out through the other. His brain had trapped Alex. It was like he was looking at himself, stuck and yelling now. He'd been trapped in his mind. Help me! Nate please help me! I'm sorry for saying Love! Please.. Save me Alex screamed in his mind, but his lips were sealed tight. He pounded at this trap in his head. In his mind, he could hear Nate but his body wasn't responding. Alex didn't know what to do. How does he get out of here? He had no idea and it scared him more than the thought of being alone did.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews and Carlos Da Silva
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist | 21, 25 | Current location ;; Montana

When he got no reaction, Nate took more drastic measures. He pushed Alex’s knees and legs aside and moved in even closer until he was sitting right in front of him. His own legs straddled Alex so that he could be where he needed to be. He put his hands on his shoulders gauging reactions. Nothing. He moved them up to Alex’s cheeks. He leaned his forehead against Alex’s. He kept his voice low and calm. “Alex, I need you to breathe. If you can hear me, breathe. I don’t know what’s wrong.” It felt a little like shock? Similar to a catatonic state. That didn’t make any sense. As much as he wanted to panic, Nate knew better. Be the medic, Nate. Save him and then you can ask what happened. “Breathe and come back to me. Can you move anything? Lift your eyes, move a hand, tap a foot? Anything? You can’t talk, and that’s okay. I can talk. So listen to me. I am here with you. I will always be here with you. But if you stop breathing, I can’t be with you, and then I’m going to be very upset. I don’t know what you are seeing right now, and I wish that I could.” It also reminded him of Alex’s nightmares. Waking nightmares. Daymares. “I wish that I could take all of your pain. I would carry that for you.” His voice faltered for just a moment. “But I don’t know how.” He brought it back. “So I need you to work with me. Just breathe.” He pulled his face up to kiss Alex’s forehead and then stayed there repeated, “Just breathe.”

Carlos really hated the fact that Kaleb was grievously wounded, for numerous reasons of course, but mostly because he was in a mood. But he was a good boy. He could behave. He could channel his younger self who was less confident. The one who would have at least a little humility. There were other people in this room after all. Other people he was not paying much attention too. He glanced that way, but from his angle, they mostly looked like they were having an equally intimate moment as him and Kaleb, so he turned back to his Kaleb. His Kaleb he never ever wanted to be without. Out of all the very beautiful and handsome people in this world, Kaleb was the one, and he couldn’t be without him. He had a thought then. A new thought. A thought that never seemed like it could be anything. A thought that needed to be a plan. He was so good at planning. It would be that next masterpiece. But until then, Kaleb could heal. If he was good enough to let it.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan and Kaleb Price
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer | 19, 27 | Current location ;; Montana

Alex's body moved stiffly when Nate pushed his knees and legs apart. Again those words filtered through his mind, hit the trapped Alex and worked its way through. He didn't feel Nate's hands on him, nor his forehead leaning on Alex's. In his mind, he pounded on the cage. He heard a crack, a chip dragging down the barrier. Alex hit it again, another chip. He pushed a hand through. He heard Nate say to move anything, tap, breathe something. Alex's fingers twitched in the outside world. Alex breathed out slowly, inhaling and breathing again. Alex could hear Nate and he felt the kiss on his forehead. That seemed to cause the biggest chip in his wall, and Alex pounded again, before it shattered completely. He felt himself rushing back, gasping loudly like he'd been without air for years. Alex panted as he worked to regain the breaths he'd lost. "N- Nate." He managed to get out.

Kaleb just watched Carlos, his eyes were drifting shut again. He might not be in pain, but he was tired from his body healing his wound. He needed rest, and he curled in close to Carlos' chest, tucking his head in as he yawned. Kaleb's body was still very much working on healing and healing took a lot out of a person.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews and Carlos Da Silva
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist | 21, 25 | Current location ;; Montana

Twitch. That was good. That meant that something was working. Keep going. I need you to keep pushing. Be my strong monkey man. At his gasp, Nate also gasped. Mirrors. It was like Alex finding his way to breath gave him life as well. “Alex!” His voice was insistent but quiet. He did not want to alarm anyone else or Alex. He still wasn’t sure what happened. He threw his arms around him, held him as close as possible, and sucked up the sniffles that threatened to ruin his calm. “Thank goodness you are okay. I am so sorry. I didn’t know how else to help you. I am so so sorry.” He laced his fingers through Alex’s hair, combing through it with the desperation that leaked out from him. Okay, so he was giving up calm apparently.

Carlos held Kaleb close like he always did. “Rest, my love,” he whispered into his ear as he ran a hand down his cheek and neck to his shoulder and arm. He rubbed his back as he thought about love and being together forever. And like he did so many years ago when he was supposed to do something about it, he planned on doing something about it.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan and Kaleb Price
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer | 19, 27 | Current location ;; Montana

Alex heard Nate's gasp, and then the insistent, quiet voice. Alex all but melted into Nate's arms, sobbing softly as everything hit. He'd never had this happen before. He'd always come back to himself. This had been the worst experience. "I'm okay, it's okay. I'm fine." Alex said softly, feeling Nate lacing his fingers in his hair. Alex just sank into Nate's embrace at this point relying on the other for comfort. He had been petrified and scared. But Nate had helped him, brought him back. Kaleb did just that, he rested, curled close to Carlos.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews and Carlos Da Silva
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist | 21, 25 | Current location ;; Montana

Nate shook his head. “No, it’s not okay.” He should have been more supportive and had the better bedside manner, but he was too upset. “It’s not okay that I couldn’t help you.” He would have pulled away to better talk to him but he could feel how much Alex needed this embrace. From where he was, he kept talking. He still whispered, but his voice broke. “I should be able to fix you. That’s my job. And I don’t even know what happened.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan and Kaleb Price
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer | 19, 27 | Current location ;; Montana

Alex heard Nate and if he wasn't completely wrapped up in a warm embrace, he probably would've looked at him. "You did help me. You were very helpful. I don't know what happened, but you brought me back to you." Alex didn't like Nate blaming himself, not at all. That broken voice hurt Alex. "It's all my fault, I said the wrong word and made everything go wrong." Alex added.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews and Carlos Da Silva
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist | 21, 25 | Current location ;; Montana

Nate didn’t know what Alex was talking about. He had absolutely not idea what Alex thought he said that made everything go wrong. He did pull back now but only enough so that he could look at his face. “What? I don’t understand. What do you think you possibly did wrong?” He wished that he could read his mind. That would be so much easier.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan and Kaleb Price
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer | 19, 27 | Current location ;; Montana

Alex did lift his head up when Nate pulled back. Alex looked down for a moment, nervous about bringing it back up. "I s- said the word l- love. And then you w- went quiet and eventually moved to t- the work bench." Alex said, looking at Nate again. His hands fiddled together nervously, like he'd go back into the shocked state again just at the mention of the word.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews and Carlos Da Silva
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist | 21, 25 | Current location ;; Montana

Oh. That’s what this was about? He was stressing because he called Nate love and Nate ran away? That was what he didn’t, wasn’t it? He could hurt himself for doing that to him. How could he be so stupid? Of course that would hurt him. He acted like he disliked it. He was doing the same word thing that he did about everything when he got all nervous and weird about it. Nate grabbed those hands of his, not allowing them to fidget. He waited for Alex to look back at him to answer. “I think I panicked,” he whispered.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan and Kaleb Price
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer | 19, 27 | Current location ;; Montana

Alex felt Nate take his hands, effectively stopping them from fidgeting. He looked up at Nate and heard him whisper. Panicked? That was a word for it. It had definitely made Alex panic, in fact he panicked so bad he trapped himself in his own mind. "I think you did too, but it scared me a lot" Alex managed to say.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews and Carlos Da Silva
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist | 21, 25 | Current location ;; Montana

Nate bit his bottom lip, unsure how to proceed with this. It already ended up with him at a work station alone and Alex going mildly catatonic. “Why?” He asked. It seemed like a silly question especially since he could think of a millions reasons why the word alone scared him. But why Alex? Alex wasn’t scared of anything. He was strong and confident. It was one of the many things that made Nate love him.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan and Kaleb Price
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer | 19, 27 | Current location ;; Montana

Why. Well now that was the real question wasn’t it? Why. Just why did that scare him so much? “Because I thought, there was no more five feet only, no cuddles at night, no kisses just because and you would leave me once we reached the border.” Alex said quietly. “I don’t want to lose this.” He added.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews and Carlos Da Silva
Former Firefly, Aspiring Artist | 21, 25 | Current location ;; Montana

Nate couldn’t breathe. So that’s what really happened. When Nate panicked a little, Alex panicked a lot. While Nate found a way out, Alex got sucked back in. His own personal nightmare. “This is less than five feet,” he commented. “Significantly less.” He rewrapped his arms around him, specifically finding ways for more and more parts of them to touch. “And it might not be night yet but this is for sure a cuddle.” After a moment. He brought his face back to Alex’s and kissed him. At first it was a normal kiss but then it held more meaning. It was a little bit needier. “And that kiss is just the start of many kisses I would like to do. Like,” he bent and kissed his cheek and then the end he of his jaw and then a trail down his neck. “Not all necessary. Just because.” He brought their foreheads back together. “I would never ever leave you. I may panic a little and try to write some arbitrary notes because I don’t know if what you said meant the same thing to you as it did to me, but I would never leave you.” It’s time. No more running or hiding. No more overthinking which only caused pain in both of them. “I love you, Alexander. So much. I didn’t even know I could do this. I didn’t know there was anything like this. I love my mama and Max and Ben. I love Carlos and Kaleb. I love the people I lost and left behind. But they’re nothing to the way I love you. I panicked because I didn’t think you could ever feel that way too.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan and Kaleb Price
Former Seraphite, Former FEDRA officer | 19, 27 | Current location ;; Montana

Alex waited with quiet breath, watching Nate in front of him. He wasn't expecting for Nate to go for less than five feet when he rewrapped his arms. He felt Nate get close, much closer than before. He knew this was a cuddle even though it wasn't nighttime. Alex blushed when Nate kissed him, but it wasn't a normal kiss. This meant much much more, it was a little needier and Alex gave in quickly. He blinked when Nate pulled away, though the blush went darker at the kiss on his cheek, the end of his jaw and he let out soft gasp not expecting the trail down his neck. He leaned into the contact of their foreheads together. He felt warm tears, tears of happiness, tears of love as he listened to Nate. When he heard Nate say he loved him, more than the love he had for his family, Alex's heart stopped and then restarted. Alex paused for a moment before he smiled again. "I love you, Nathaniel. I've never experienced this feeling before. I never thought that I'd find anything like it when I left my island, left it all behind. Thank you for saving me, thank you for just being you." Alex finished, and leaned forward, kissing Nate the same way he had been. Sending all his love and emotions in that kiss.​