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Fantasy Seiunita OOC
- Thread starter shadowz1995
- Start date
Historical Storyteller
Four Thousand Club
This is my current draft, and I'm thinking of submitting it to the IC section. Read it and see if its good enough.
Walter never liked the Prancing Squid, he often fancied it as the devil's playground where all the evils of the world ran wild. Both man and ork shit and pissed and bled on the floor as they threw bottles of beer to the wall. Elves and vampires and humans who were once conceived to be mortal enemies were quickly reduced to hopeless romantics trying to get themselves laid. Brawls between strangers were common, the cause of which was too much alcohol and too little common sense. All this was happening as a blind musician was singing and playing medieval rock music with his living magical instruments.
That wasn't all. Occasionally, some rude customer would fart at Walter's general direction, and he had to restrain himself from rising up and knocking the daylights out of those rascals. Then people would talk and laugh too loud and they would slam their naked fists on the tables as they made bawdy jokes about their sex lives. More ill-mannered peasants were discovered to pick their nose, pick their ears, and then proceed to pick their nails much to Walter's apparent disgust. And when those smug bastards were not content with that, they scratched their balls and their ass too.
"My Lord, it seems like we have entered into the mouth of hell itself. Every man here does not hesitate to break his own integrity, and they do so without a second thought. I swear that some day their own iniquity will be their undoing. I prophesy that an angry righteous god will come here and destroy all that is evil." All this was said by none other than Sir Silvester, a fresh-faced young knight. Silvester had only arrived for a few hours but he was gaining a steady reputation as a fanatic screaming bloody murder for the heretics in Elysium and calling on a crusade against the Dark Kingdom to save the world.
"Ehhh, calm down ya lil' shithead. Not everyone's a goodie-lil'-two-shoes. And listen to yerself, mate, its like ye can't wait for the end of the world. Yer just a man that needs some beer so ye can open up a lil'. Maybe a lass or two oughta loosen ya up." And this was said by Tekoa the Swifthanded, one of the older men in Walter's company.
"Beer is for sinners." And with that, Sir Silvester got up and left in a huff.
Tekoa was stunned to silence. He wondered what he had done to deserve this cold rejection of his wisdom. Perhaps, he thought, he had not considered the fact that Silvester was a self-righteous hardass. Educating these fellows to the ways to the world was as hard as trying to teach fish poetry. Their minds and hearts seemed to be made of stone that could only be broken by supernatural effort. And Tekoa did not possess any divine attributes that could aid him in persuading Silvester to calm the fuck down. He was merely a man who loved war, women and wine.
"And sex is overrated!" said Sir Silvester. And just as he was about to depart the Prancing Squid for good, a mysterious giant stepped in and Silvester's face smacked the giant's chest. It took a few moments for the young knight to recover, but once he got his bearings he politely apologized to this stranger who he had handled with such discourtesy. But upon looking up and seeing the giant's face with his own eyes, Silvester's face turned pale and he used all the remaining willpower he still had with him to keep from shitting himself in sheer terror.
"Holy shit! Its an elf... no wait... you've got no knife ears. I got it... you're a vampire! No, you're not that pale... Aha! I know what you are. You're a demon!" Silvester brought up his hand and pointed to the demon for the everyone present to bear witness to his discovery.
Silvester's entire body started to shake like an earthquake and rivers of sweat was flowing from the top of his head. The knight could not keep his calm, he was frightened by the mere sight of this monster. He had heard stories of demons eating people alive and scattering their bones to the wind, and how they destroyed entire armies and kingdoms with a single powerful spell. He felt that all the courage and valor in his heart could not save him the world of hurt the demon was about to dish out on him. God, bless his soul.
"Took you long enough to figure that out, human." said the demon, he was wearing finely dressed clothes, the likes of which had too many fancy decorations and shiny objects.
"Don't eat me!" Silvester clasped his hands and sank to his knees to beg for mercy. He was silently praying to god to save him by striking this demon down with lightning from heaven.
"Don't worry, I don't eat pieces of shit." replied the demon, who then proceeded to casually stride towards the other end of the bar to order a drink.
At that moment, roars of laughter erupted all around the Prancing Squid, races regardless of whether they were human, elf, ork, or demon were taking pleasure at this poor knight's shame and misery; it was a moment of racial solidarity earned at Silvester's expense. Each and every one of them had enough of the bullshit that he discussed relentlessly for an eternity. Jokes poking fun at the Light kingdom were exchanged and it was followed by an even greater guffaw of laughter.
Silvester was thoroughly humiliated. A few seconds of cowardice had destroyed his dignity and it had severely damaged his confidence. He was left there, sitting on the floor feeling sorry for himself, looking like the life had been sucked out of him. Some people expressed sympathy for him and stopped themselves from pushing it further so they could avoid hurting his feelings too much. While others continued mercilessly ridiculing him, completely ignoring his pitiful state and unknowingly sending him past the breaking point.
"Good god, at this rate you Elysians will be lucky to herd pigs for the demons once they're done with you!"
"He's not a follower of the Light, he's more like the Devil's secretary."
"You call that man a knight? I bet he can't slay a hedgehog with his naked ass."
Even Coburn the Fireswisher, one of the two battlecasters in Walter's party, could not resist participating in this public shaming contest. "Ohhh, Silvester, you just got burned."
"OHHHHH, YOU JUST GOT BURNED." Everyone jibed in unison.
Tekoa hit Coburn hard with the back of his fist, breaking his nose and sending streams of hot blood flying into the air. "Shut up, Coburn. Are you all right, Silvester?"
Walter had been watching the disaster unfold from a distance, minding his own business and happily drinking bottles of Mattan Knight Beer. He was alarmed when he saw that things quickly took a turn for the worse when Silvester made a fool out of himself by acting like a scared little child in front of a demon. But things came to a head when Walter saw the poor knight's honor being torn apart by peasants and scoundrels who did not know any better. Walter decided that this had to end now, so he rose from his seat and stepped in to defend Silvester from this wicked onslaught of wisecracks and one-liners.
And he did it the best way he knew how. Walter grabbed an empty bottle of beer and smacked it on the head of one of the laughing bastards, thus kicking off a large bar fight...
Lord Walter the Bastard
The Fire Kingdom
The Fire Kingdom
Walter never liked the Prancing Squid, he often fancied it as the devil's playground where all the evils of the world ran wild. Both man and ork shit and pissed and bled on the floor as they threw bottles of beer to the wall. Elves and vampires and humans who were once conceived to be mortal enemies were quickly reduced to hopeless romantics trying to get themselves laid. Brawls between strangers were common, the cause of which was too much alcohol and too little common sense. All this was happening as a blind musician was singing and playing medieval rock music with his living magical instruments.
That wasn't all. Occasionally, some rude customer would fart at Walter's general direction, and he had to restrain himself from rising up and knocking the daylights out of those rascals. Then people would talk and laugh too loud and they would slam their naked fists on the tables as they made bawdy jokes about their sex lives. More ill-mannered peasants were discovered to pick their nose, pick their ears, and then proceed to pick their nails much to Walter's apparent disgust. And when those smug bastards were not content with that, they scratched their balls and their ass too.
"My Lord, it seems like we have entered into the mouth of hell itself. Every man here does not hesitate to break his own integrity, and they do so without a second thought. I swear that some day their own iniquity will be their undoing. I prophesy that an angry righteous god will come here and destroy all that is evil." All this was said by none other than Sir Silvester, a fresh-faced young knight. Silvester had only arrived for a few hours but he was gaining a steady reputation as a fanatic screaming bloody murder for the heretics in Elysium and calling on a crusade against the Dark Kingdom to save the world.
"Ehhh, calm down ya lil' shithead. Not everyone's a goodie-lil'-two-shoes. And listen to yerself, mate, its like ye can't wait for the end of the world. Yer just a man that needs some beer so ye can open up a lil'. Maybe a lass or two oughta loosen ya up." And this was said by Tekoa the Swifthanded, one of the older men in Walter's company.
"Beer is for sinners." And with that, Sir Silvester got up and left in a huff.
Tekoa was stunned to silence. He wondered what he had done to deserve this cold rejection of his wisdom. Perhaps, he thought, he had not considered the fact that Silvester was a self-righteous hardass. Educating these fellows to the ways to the world was as hard as trying to teach fish poetry. Their minds and hearts seemed to be made of stone that could only be broken by supernatural effort. And Tekoa did not possess any divine attributes that could aid him in persuading Silvester to calm the fuck down. He was merely a man who loved war, women and wine.
"And sex is overrated!" said Sir Silvester. And just as he was about to depart the Prancing Squid for good, a mysterious giant stepped in and Silvester's face smacked the giant's chest. It took a few moments for the young knight to recover, but once he got his bearings he politely apologized to this stranger who he had handled with such discourtesy. But upon looking up and seeing the giant's face with his own eyes, Silvester's face turned pale and he used all the remaining willpower he still had with him to keep from shitting himself in sheer terror.
"Holy shit! Its an elf... no wait... you've got no knife ears. I got it... you're a vampire! No, you're not that pale... Aha! I know what you are. You're a demon!" Silvester brought up his hand and pointed to the demon for the everyone present to bear witness to his discovery.
Silvester's entire body started to shake like an earthquake and rivers of sweat was flowing from the top of his head. The knight could not keep his calm, he was frightened by the mere sight of this monster. He had heard stories of demons eating people alive and scattering their bones to the wind, and how they destroyed entire armies and kingdoms with a single powerful spell. He felt that all the courage and valor in his heart could not save him the world of hurt the demon was about to dish out on him. God, bless his soul.
"Took you long enough to figure that out, human." said the demon, he was wearing finely dressed clothes, the likes of which had too many fancy decorations and shiny objects.
"Don't eat me!" Silvester clasped his hands and sank to his knees to beg for mercy. He was silently praying to god to save him by striking this demon down with lightning from heaven.
"Don't worry, I don't eat pieces of shit." replied the demon, who then proceeded to casually stride towards the other end of the bar to order a drink.
At that moment, roars of laughter erupted all around the Prancing Squid, races regardless of whether they were human, elf, ork, or demon were taking pleasure at this poor knight's shame and misery; it was a moment of racial solidarity earned at Silvester's expense. Each and every one of them had enough of the bullshit that he discussed relentlessly for an eternity. Jokes poking fun at the Light kingdom were exchanged and it was followed by an even greater guffaw of laughter.
Silvester was thoroughly humiliated. A few seconds of cowardice had destroyed his dignity and it had severely damaged his confidence. He was left there, sitting on the floor feeling sorry for himself, looking like the life had been sucked out of him. Some people expressed sympathy for him and stopped themselves from pushing it further so they could avoid hurting his feelings too much. While others continued mercilessly ridiculing him, completely ignoring his pitiful state and unknowingly sending him past the breaking point.
"Good god, at this rate you Elysians will be lucky to herd pigs for the demons once they're done with you!"
"He's not a follower of the Light, he's more like the Devil's secretary."
"You call that man a knight? I bet he can't slay a hedgehog with his naked ass."
Even Coburn the Fireswisher, one of the two battlecasters in Walter's party, could not resist participating in this public shaming contest. "Ohhh, Silvester, you just got burned."
"OHHHHH, YOU JUST GOT BURNED." Everyone jibed in unison.
Tekoa hit Coburn hard with the back of his fist, breaking his nose and sending streams of hot blood flying into the air. "Shut up, Coburn. Are you all right, Silvester?"
Walter had been watching the disaster unfold from a distance, minding his own business and happily drinking bottles of Mattan Knight Beer. He was alarmed when he saw that things quickly took a turn for the worse when Silvester made a fool out of himself by acting like a scared little child in front of a demon. But things came to a head when Walter saw the poor knight's honor being torn apart by peasants and scoundrels who did not know any better. Walter decided that this had to end now, so he rose from his seat and stepped in to defend Silvester from this wicked onslaught of wisecracks and one-liners.
And he did it the best way he knew how. Walter grabbed an empty bottle of beer and smacked it on the head of one of the laughing bastards, thus kicking off a large bar fight...
Historical Storyteller
Four Thousand Club
So... what do you guys think?
Elephantom
Chicken Broth Paragon
Man, did you see my post? I thought I had discussed it, eh, a few pages past. Simple talk-and-flop, bubblebutt, you, me, introductions and all.
Historical Storyteller
Four Thousand Club
Ah shit, I forgot.
Let's just say that Walter was preoccupied with defending his vassal. So Walter would brush past Jean, grab a bottle of beer, and smash it into one of those laughing bastards!
Elephantom
Chicken Broth Paragon
Argh, we're getting into one tricky situation after another. The prancing squig idea seems to be pretty awful now that I'm experiencing it. Shiitake.
Historical Storyteller
Four Thousand Club
Kkkk, can I post this post?
Elephantom
Chicken Broth Paragon
But Jean and his men are right in front of you, talking, and seated before you.
Historical Storyteller
Four Thousand Club
Walter would say, "Take our damned seats while I go save my friend!"
Elephantom
Chicken Broth Paragon
Okay, I have a more plausible idea here. Since, eh, Jean seems to be pretty bothersome in this situation, I'll just have him, uh, retreat to his room above the bar. Skip to stuff, I'll just bring him into play once Rolen invites him.
Damn, this RP's a mess.
Nogoodname
Did nothing wrong
Hi Heis
Honestly this is a bit of a difficult thing to do, but there definitely are reasons as to why demons are hated. I just tried not to bring up too many points in the collab because I felt Eli would be too young and naive to win this argument, she's probably never even thought about it before. Anyways one thing you have to consider is power level, on average a creature of the dark is much more powerful than your average human. Dark creatures include things like shapeshifters, vampires, werewolves, creatures that are naturally very physically strong and require special tactics to fight. This means even though demons have the same number of bandits as humans according to desh one strong demon can bring a human city to its knees meanwhile it take a group of at least 10 organized humans to do the same thing, and hundreds to take down a demon city.
Also consider that some creatures of dark are just evil by nature, vampire are a huge example, they need to feed and so it's only natural they'd go out and kill humans like livestock to feed themselves, humans don't do this.
'Sall I got for now but you get the point. Also hi nerds.
Historical Storyteller
Four Thousand Club
No, wait, I got an idea, why won't Jean meet Walter and his gang first... and Walter politely accepts but gets distracted by Silvester and his shit.
He stands up to defend Silvester, and incites the bar fight!
Historical Storyteller
Four Thousand Club
Hmm, you got a point. I was just afraid that people really believed that demons were the good guys and I had to shoot the idea down.
Wandering Grim Hollow
I want to be happy but my gun says no.
Guys. Remember, this is technically an epilogue so maybe less fighting for now?
Wandering Grim Hollow
I want to be happy but my gun says no.
Wait till you meet the 'fair seafolk'. Pretty in appearance with surprisingly dark hearts
Elephantom
Chicken Broth Paragon
Seems like a good enough idea. Just wait a bit.
Historical Storyteller
Four Thousand Club
Ah, damn. So much for that. Well, I'm going to think of what else Walter can do.
Nogoodname
Did nothing wrong
Oh as a player I'm for the dark kingdom, but obviously as a character I have to defend the humans.
Historical Storyteller
Four Thousand Club
Meh, never mind, he'll still smack a laughing bitch or two, and silence the whole bar!
Historical Storyteller
Four Thousand Club
After I added so many civil wars and controversies in the Light kingdom, yeah, most people would side with the Dark. Even I sometimes wish my character would flee there for sanctuary, but he's too deep in this shit to leave now.
But I wonder what would happen if Desh is gone. Will the demons go back to their... darker ways? Will vampires and dark elves and goblins starts some evil shit that will prove the Light kingdom was right after all? Hmm...
Elephantom
Chicken Broth Paragon
And, that's why I insist on controlling the pace of the story. Everything feels so hurried, mish-mashed, and slightly awkward. Honestly, I'll just have Jean retreat to his room. Hopefully, I can create a more solid outline for the first proper chapter.
Historical Storyteller
Four Thousand Club
Ah, damn, tell me what I did wrong, Eleph...
Is my post bad? Any flaws to point out?
ALSO, should I withhold my post for the time being?
Elephantom
Chicken Broth Paragon
No, not your post. I mean, the plan's all off-track. I was hoping for a more tense, slow approach, but just can't edit my post any further. Lost all my creative juice.
Historical Storyteller
Four Thousand Club
We seriously need a collab like what Ace, nogood, and shadow are up to.
Elephantom
Chicken Broth Paragon
Except, they forgot to include us too, like I mentioned way back earlier, much to Ace's dismay.
Well, I'll just hunker down and wait for
The Faceless King
.
