School Daze

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

Time went by slowly in such a quiet class. The teacher's soft breathing, and the rustling of the newspaper in his hands, were the only things that broke the silence. Tegan continued to scribble, occasionally looking up from his page to meet Quin's eyes. It seemed every time the smaller male would glance at him, the white-haired boy would sense it and their eyes would lock. "What is it?" he asked smoothly, a half smile making his face somewhat light up. His arm still covered the page, keeping it from prying eyes.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quin felt his face get warm each time Tegan met his glance. He had hoped, each time, to look without being caught. Finally Tegan spoke and Quin felt his face get even warmer. "U-Um, n-nothing." He mumbled, looking down at his own paper again. He didn't think he could ask what he was drawing. He want even really sure that Tegan was drawing anything.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

After a few long moments, the clock on the wall chimed 3:54, sending a shrill ring through the room. The bell had just announced the end of class, and to Tegan's satisfaction he'd finished his small project. Lifting himself from his desk, he smile slightly at Quin, and held out the page he'd been scribbling on. On the faded blue lines, a careful and intricate sketch of the other's features were born from red ink. He'd drawn Quin out of memory, his fine details forming the bright eyes of someone hard at work. In the picture, Quin was staring down at a desk, concentrating hard on work. The piece to Tegan, however, could barely be compared to something he could have accomplished with some oil paint and a few hours. "I love the way you look when you're reading, or when you don't know I'm looking." He felt calm in front of the angel-dusted boy. "I know I should have been studying or something, but I couldn't help myself."

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quin hadn't been expecting the bell to ring. Was class over already? He packed up his things as Tegan stood up. He looked up at the paper, but registering what was on it for a few seconds. Not until Tegan told him. It made Quin smile a little bit. "I love it." He said quietly. He took the paper to look at the picture closer. It was amazing. Even more so that he'd done it in pen. "Your amazing." He told him after a moment. Quin couldn't draw to save his life. He also seemed to see Quin differently than Quin saw himself.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

The smile on his face faded slightly. He stared at Quin with somewhat of a longing in his eyes. Everyone had left the room by now, and they stood there sharing the same space, the only ones left in the class. "I love you." He said quietly. It was so sudden it took him a few seconds to feel the words fall from his lips. He took a deep breath, panic forming in his throat. His facade broke, and he took the boy's face between his hands, studying him again. He didn't want to take it back, and he couldn't bare to hear Quin's reply. So instead, he placed his lips gently against the other's, kissing him passionately.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quin didn't process what he'd said, just like with the drawing. Not until a few seconds later. That was not something he was expecting to hear. Even with the things that Tegan had done already. Tegan's hands on his face made him look up, his eyes a bit wide. He had just been about to open his mouth to say something when he felt Tegan's lips on his. Suddenly nothing else mattered and his eyes softly fell shut. His arms gently wrapped themselves around Tegan's neck as he kissed him back. It didn't matter to him that they were in the middle of a classroom where anyone could walk in. School was over, after all. No one was here. After a few moments, he slowly broke the kiss. "I love you too." He whispered quietly.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

The mentioning of Quin's feelings made a shudder roll through him. His mind kicked into gear, the kiss still tingling on his lips. He gazed into the dark-green eyes of the boy who cut straight through his fears. Someone loves me. The thought in his mind caused a terrific battle between two halves of him.


No one loves you.


But what if it was true? What if he threw everything away? All the planning, scheming, building up to the moment where his hole would be filled. Could he risk Quin's life for a few moments of peace? 'Don't come to school tomorrow.' Say it. Tell him to stay home. Tegan opened his mouth to mumble something, but only a small chuckle escaped his lips. "Can I hang around your place again? I don't feel like going home right away." He asked, taking the boy's hand in his and walking with him out of the classroom.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quin watched Tegan, wondering again if he was okay. Then he asked to hang out again. That made Quin really happy. He smiled wide and nodded a bit. "I'd like that." He said as they walked out. "I'd like that a lot." He had loved being able to spend more time with Tegan after school yesterday. It had been fun. It was also nice to know that Tegan had liked it enough to want to come back.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

As they walked, Tegan ran his hand from the boy'd fingers up his arm. He traced the pads of his hands along his shoulders and down his spine, resting it gently at the small of his back. "So what exactly does your dad do?" He asked, steering them around a bend of lockers and stopping at Quin's. He grabbed the books from the boy's arms, waiting patiently for him to open his locker. Tegan liked carrying Quin's things, and just feeling him close. It made him feel needed, wanted, and genuinely cared for.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quin walked closer to Tegan as they made their way to the lockers. He looked up at him when he spoke. He had also stopped trying to say something when Tegan took his books. If he wanted to hold them, Quin couldn't really stop him. He opened his locker before answering. "He's an occupational therapist." He said as he put what he would need in the backpack. After it was packed, he closed his locker once more.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

Tegan cocked his head to the side slightly, unfamiliar with that term. "Occupational therapist? You mean, like he listens to people's problems for money?" He asked, his tone slightly demeaning. If anyone could make someone better just by listening to their thoughts, why was he still this way? If there were people out there to clean up the dirt and scum in people's minds, wouldn't the world be a better place? Why wasn't it?


Tegan brought them to the bus, his arms empty of all things school-related. The only thing he needed was in his pocket, and walking along side him. He glanced at the sky, the sun getting ready to start lowering. They hopped upon the yellow dragon, the roar of its voice rumbling the seats. The doors swung closed as they sat down, Tegan next to the window. He patted the seat next to him, slouching in his chair and resting his knees on the back of the seat in front of him. Assuming the position he had every morning.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinn shook his head. "No, he helps people do every day things." He said. "Mostly developmentally disabled people. He teaches them how to fit into society better." He added as they got on the bus. He sat down next to Tegan and slowly rested his head on the other's shoulder. He was honestly glad to be out of school. A lot had happened. So much more than he was used to. He had just been glad that Tegan had been there with him.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

Tegan lifted his arm so Quin's head rested gently against his chest. He wrapped his limb around the other's shoulders, cradling him to his side. He stared down at his own skin, the finger-tip bruises and large fist-sized welts a reminder of what was yet to come. What was waiting for him at home. He took a deep breath and rested his chin on top of the other's head, taking in his scent. "What do you want to go to collage for?" He asked, not even bothering to ask if he was going to a university. Knowing Quin, even for a short amount of time, he already guessed the boy was a definite high-achiever.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quin rested against Tegan more. Then he asked about college. "I don't know." He said. "I want to be a psychologist or a pediatrician." He told him. He just wasn't sure which he wanted to be more. He looked up at Tegan after a moment. "Have you ever thought about going to college?" He asked quietly. He didn't know what Tegan thought about and he wanted to try and find out.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

The thought of what lay beyond Friday morning had never even crossed his mind. His head filled to the brim, mind almost splitting at the seems. The future scared him, made him feel vulnerable and small. Time, for him , would forever stand still. His mother and father were out of the picture, leaving him to rot in the same house as his step-pig Jase. No, the only future he could see in front of him was an impossible black pit never to be crossed. He'd have to fall to get anywhere, to feel himself again. Maybe Quin could be his future. But... If he had plans to help others, who the hell was he to hold him back with his constant negativity. "No I've never thought about it..." He said after a few long moments. He kisses the top of Quin's head, loving the warmth of his scalp against his lips. "Maybe one day I'll decide to help others, just like you." He lied, knowing well his untrue would end in death, or imprisonment.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quin didn't know why he never thought about college, but he didn't ask that. "What do you want to do after graduation?" He asked next. If anything, it was just to keep talking. He liked hearing Tegan talk. It was nice to listen to someone and know that they were talking to him, not just around him.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

The second question bit hard into his stomach. All these questions were making his throat feel dry. He breathed a shaky sigh, trying to search for a satisfying answer for Quin. It would break his heart to know that Tegan hadn't even planned on living that long. Now he was stuck between loving Quin, and escaping the hell that he'd known to call life. "I planned on working most of the summer, and getting my own place." He spoke softly, his voice flat as a pancake. It took every ounce of him to keep words from piling up in the corners of his mouth, spilling out without him noticing.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quin seemed confused after he said that. "Planned?" He asked. "Why passed tense?" He asked quietly. He didn't like how he almost seemed to act like he didn't have a future. He thought that Tegan could do great things if he really tried. He just didn't know how to say it to him.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

Tegan's heart leaped into his throat. Had he seriously been worried so much about tipping Quin off, that he actually had let something slip? Racking his brain for an answer, he took a deep breath, letting it slowly fall from between his lips. He ran his fingers through his snow-colored locks, almost wordless. The silence between them grew as the bus continued forward, the rumbling of the engine rattling his thoughts. "Well...I met you! Now I'm not sure I want to waste my summer working. I have to leave time for the important things, right?"

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quin was concerned when Tegan was silent. Then he explained and Quin felt bad. "You can still work." He said. "I mean, I was thinking of taking a class or two at the community college, so I wouldn't be home all the time anyway." He told him. "You can do both." He added. He believed that he could anyway.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

Tegan grinned down at him, his smile refusing to touch his eyes once again. "Yeah, I can do both." He let that sit in the air for a few moments, his mind now racing too fast for him to keep up. He thought of the harsh sun beating down on the couple, their sunglasses reflecting eachother's smiles as they sat on the beach licking melted icecream off their fingers. He thought of the smell of the ocean, and the waves gently beating against Quin's small toes. He thought of the world outside his head. Maybe life wouldn't be so bad...


His thoughts finally settled on the grim sweaty face of Jase, his golden intense eyes staring him down. The smell of whiskey was almost wafting in his nose as images from the night prior surfaced. If one of us were dead.


"What classes are you going to take over the summer?" He finally asked, his voice almost a whisper. He could feel the underlaying emotion lacing his words, but didn't have enough time to recover his vocals.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quin smiled a bit more when Tegan agreed with him. The quiet that enveloped them after a moment was sort of nice in a way. Then Tegan spoke again. "Um, intro. to psych. and French 101." He told him. He looked up at him again, hearing something in his voice. He couldn't quite tell what it was though. "Are you okay?" He asked softly. He knew he asked the question a lot, but he couldn't help it. He was just so worried about him.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

Tegan shifted uncomfotably in his seat, hating those fateful words that always seemed to fly through the air. Quin was always on track, always so intuitive and knowing. Are you okay?


Are you okay?


Should I tell him?


Planting his lips on the boy's nose, he gave him a half grin, trying hard to comfort him. "I'm fine, I promise." He murmured, and gently rubbed the tip of his nose against his significant other's. "I just miss you already." He lied, but added a faint laugh to ease his words. The lie almost puzzled himself, almost. If he said something, anything, how would he gut the pig? How would he give the step-mess a piece of his own medicine? He wouldn't. It would be left to the police to handle, and knowing them, they'd probably let the pig go under probation. He couldn't have that.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quin was a bit confused by what he said next. "But...but I'm sitting right here." He said quietly. He never understood when people said that. How could you miss someone who was right in front of you? He just wanted to understand him, but he was like a puzzle. Devan was trying hard.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

Another laugh, a real one, fell from Tegan's lips. He tucked Quin against him tightly, not wanting to let go. His hair had fallen in front of his yellow-green eyes, somewhat hiding the slowly healing bruise along his left cheek. The scab, from Jase's wedding ring, on the other hand had a long way to go to heal. "I know you're right here." He sighed, running his finger along the other's knuckle,s tracing the lines of his skin. "But I'll have to leave you to go home eventually, and I already miss you."