Humor RpNation's Joke Thread

I have two

  1. A little boy is lost in an abandoned jewelry factory, all of a sudden he hears a loud voice, "Now I gotcha where I wantcha, now I'm gonna eatcha!" Scared, the little boy runs away. The voice gets louder, "Now I gotcha where I wantch, now I'm gonna eatcha!" Soon it turns into a chant, "Now I Gotcha where I wantch, now I'm ginna eatcha, now I gotcha where I wantcha now I'm gonna eatcha!" The little boy slowly turns around ti reveal another little boy in the corner. He has a booger on his finger and seems to be licking his lips, "Now I gotcha where I wantch now I'm gonna eatcha!"
  2. Knock knock
  3. Who's there?
  4. Broken pencil
  5. Broken pencil who?
  6. Nevermind, there's no point.
 
CloudyBlueDay said:
THE ULTIMATE MONK JOKEA man's car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. He calls the auto-shop, and they tell him that they can only get to him to fix his car the next day. It's turning night, and the man needs a place to sleep. There is a monk monastery right across the road, so he enters and ask if they will allow him to stay for the night. They welcome him in, give him a meal, give him a room and bid him good night.


He wakes up in the middle of the night to a strange noise. It sounds something like.. 'tisk.. tisk..' Tapping something? Knocking on something? An animal? He couldn't tell. He tried to go back to sleep, but the noise kept on going, and going, and going. And it would not stop. So finally, the man got up to search. He searched and searched and searched and he could not find anything at all. So he finally gave up and went back to sleep.


The next morning, the man asks all of the monks what that noise was. They shake their heads at him, explaining that they can't tell him, it's a monk secret. The car company comes, fixes his car, and the man leaves the monastery, but the question still lingers in his mind.


25 years have passed. The man is driving by the exact same spot, and by chance, his car breaks down, right there. He laughs to himself as he once again asks if he can stay the night at the monastery, and of course the monks welcome him in.


At night, the same noise wakes him up again. This time, he refuses to leave this place until he finds whatever is causing that dastardly noise. He searches, and searches, and searches, and after many hours he finds a door, from which he is absolutely positive the sound is coming from just behind it. Sadly, it is locked. So he begs, he pleads to the monks, 'Please, let me see! It's driving me crazy!' But sadly, once again, they tell him it is a monk secret.


So he says, 'Screw it, I'm going to become a monk.'


Many years later, the man has finally become a monk. The time has finally come, to see what is making that noise. They open the door. And behind this door, is another door.


And another door. And another door. And another door. They keep on opening doors, and the man is just about ready to pull his hair out.. when they open the final door.


And he says 'Wow.. I cannot believe it was that the entire time.'

Oh, I can't tell you. It's a monk secret.


THIS MAKES ME SO UPSET
Click to expand...
 
A human, an elf, and a dwarf walk into a bar.


The human turns to the dwarf and says, "You're lucky you're so short. That hurt like mad!"
 
Okay, so, I saw this on someone's profile on another forum and I laughed my butt off.


What do you call it when someone leaves during the sermon at church?


Christian Bale.


laughing.gif
 
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
 
A car with wooden wheels, a wooden engine, wooden everything is going somewhere, where does it go?


Nowhere, it wooden move!
 
Here's one I heard recently:


What does the ocean say to the sand?


Nothing, it usually just waves.


*Ba-dum, tshh*
 
[QUOTE="Onezie Fellow]Did anyone hear about that news of the circus fire?
The reporters said it was intense


1349633011941.png


[/QUOTE]
I can't believe it took me a whole day to get that one xD
 
How about, my personal favorite..


ANTI- Jokes!


What's red and smells like blue paint?


Red paint


A man walks into a bar..


His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.


What's grey and bad for your teeth?


A cinderblock


Roses are red,


Violets are blue.


This is a gun,


get in the van.
 
I got one for the anti jokes


A horse walks into a bar.


The bartender says, "Hey, fella, why the long face?"


The horse doesn't say anything as it is just an animal and isn't very intellegent.
 
A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar,


They drink and have a good time, celebrating their diversity.
 
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