Our Secrets ((GxG))

[Zotohxan]

Plot:


Miranda has been secretly dating her gorgeous girlfriend for two years now. The reason being that Miranda's parents don't approve of her being a lesbian, telling her that it's just a "phase", not to mention it being a "sin" in their eyes. However, she knows it's not. She's desperately in love with this girl, and could never imagine being with anyone else.


However, things begin to change one day after they return from Christmas Break at school. Miranda begins distancing herself from the previously proclaimed 'love of her life', not answering calls; ignoring texts; and acting like she doesn't hear her in the hallway. It hurts her like hell to do this, but... If she knew the truth, she'd leave her anyway.


In reality, Miranda was molested on the last day of their break by some random man, while she was walking home from her girlfriend's house... So, afraid that she would see her as disgusting now and never want to speak with her, she hides the truth.


~~~~~~


Rules:


1. Cuss all you like, but don't overdo it...


2. Any scenes above PG-13 will be summarised by a Time Skip, please...


3. You don't have to be advanced or semi-advanced, but please at least try to use proper grammar/punctuation/spelling.. I understand careless mistakes, autocorrect, tiredness, or the like, but please don't do it all the time x3


4. Please be kinda active o-o Like, 1 post a day if possible. Vacations or loss of internet is understandable, but please try to post.. c:


~~~~~~


So~


Just reply to this post with your character's picture and name, then your opening post! Thank you!


~~~~~~


I wake up screaming, tears streaming down my face as once more that wretched night replayed in my mind. I curl up against myself, pulling the blankets tight against my body. Each morning, for the past week since that awful day, my parents have heard me screaming and sobbing myself awake, but say nothing. They couldn't care less about me, about my fears... That's why I never told them what that man did. But I can still feel his hands, tracing themselves all over my body as I cried and screamed for someone to help, but no one came... I've been ignoring my girlfriend as much as I can, at least until I can figure out what to do... I hate ignoring her, I really, really do, but... I'm terrified about how she'd look at me if she knew...


After about fifteen minutes of crying, my tears finally begin to dry. I sit up and throw my fuzzy blue pant-clad legs over the side of my bed, then I stand on my blue carpet and walk to my closet. I pull out a black tank top, red skinny jeans, a jean jacket, and my combat boots before going to the bathroom connected to my bedroom. I start up my shower water and make it as hot as possible, wanting to wash off the memory of that man, scrubbing my body until it's red and raw. A few more tears escape but I quickly wipe them away before getting out and drying myself off, then getting dressed and leaving my hair to air dry.

 

[Memster101]

(( I'm just going to jump in Did you have a photo of your character??


Name: Teagan Saint Hopkins and the photo is in the attachment since I don't know how to insert photos xD ))


It had been about a week since Miranda had made any sort of contact with me. Everything had seemed fine Sunday night when she had left my house after a typical night of binge watching our favorite TV shows, cuddling, and munching on left over treats from the holidays. And then she pretty much fell off the face of the earth. She stopped answering my texts, calls, emails. I had even taken up to stopping by all of classes, her locker, her car, but she always ignored me, brushing by with obviously forced ignorance. What the hell had I done to upset her? Of course we had, had a few rough patches, but nothing to this extent. Rolling onto my side, I rubbed at my tear crusted eyes with the sleeve of Mir's sweater I had stolen that night, sniffling absently. Enough was enough. I knew it was a risky move to go to her house, her parents were wary of every girl that came over there ever since they had found out she was gay, and knew there was a good chance I wouldn't even make a foot into the door. But I couldn't take not knowing what I had done to upset her so badly.


Swinging my legs out of my bed, I forced myself out of the comfort of my bed and into the cold morning air. Glancing at the clock, I saw I still had a good two or so hours before we had to be at school, Fridays being late start, and figured that with enough luck Mir's parents would be off to work by now. I wandered into the bathroom to brush my teeth, not even bothering to comb my hair or fix my runny makeup. Maybe if Mir saw how shitty I looked she'd take a moment to think about what was going on. I hadn't even been able to force myself to eat this past week, let alone bother to worry about how I looked. I found a pair of shorts and pulled them under the large sweater, knowing I would regret it when I stepped outside into the chilly winter day, but not caring at the moment. I just wanted to see Mir.


Once I found a pair of sneakers, I quickly headed downstairs. Car keys and backpack located, I rushed outside. Instantly I was met with a wall of frozen air and my flesh broke out into goosebumps. I could barely convince my feet to get me to the car from the shock of it. Once I was in the safety of my car though, I cranked the heat all the way up, and pulled out of the drive way. The usual 15 minute drive to her house took only 7 and I skidded into her driveway after checking for her parents' cars. I stepped outside and rummaged through my key ring, looking for the spare that Mir had given me the first year after we had started dating. The small, silver key found, I hurried up the icy walk way- nearly falling and probably breaking something as I did so, and slid the key home in the lock. It turned with ease.<p><a href="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2015_09/4_shades_of_faded_by_tonstaar-d69q33b.jpg.d66e0fc2acafdc60db3787a46845c83d.jpg" class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image"><img data-fileid="75433" src="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2015_09/4_shades_of_faded_by_tonstaar-d69q33b.jpg.d66e0fc2acafdc60db3787a46845c83d.jpg" class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" alt=""></a></p>

 

[Zotohxan]

((Aah, wicked! I'm busy at the moment, but I'll be back within the hour to reply, and post a picture of Miranda! ^-^))

 

[Memster101]

(( Yay ^^ I was scared it'd been too long xD Also what age range were you thinking? I was assuming highschool, right?))

 

[Zotohxan]

((Nah, I didn't have any response for this(obviously), and I'd honestly forgotten about it.. ;w; But it's forever been one of my favourite ideas


And yeah. I was thinking maybe Juniors or Seniors?))

Spoiler

I know this obviously isn't them, it's just the reference I used to describe the picture. x3

I wait a few minutes before stepping out of my room. I had grabbed my phone and pocketed it, choking back a sob as I saw my lock screen- the picture Teag and I took the last day we were together. She was behind me, with her arm wrapped around my waist. You could clearly see the ring I'd given her as a Christmas present, and the necklace she gave me. In the picture, she's kissing my cheek while I'm just grinning up at the camera. We were both just in sorta lounging clothes... Tanks and shorts. Probably not the best idea for late-December weather, but.. We didn't care. We were in the safety and warmth of Teagan's house, and there, we could just be ourselves.


Before I knew it, I was once more on the ground. Just dropped, my head in my hands and my body trembling with sobs. Good thing I heard Mom and Dad leave while I was in the shower, else I'd be shouted at for being over emotional... Or, hey... Maybe they'd think I 'wised up' and got a boyfriend, and I was pregnant? ...I'm sure that'd make them happier than knowing that I'm gay... "No..." I mutter to myself, hating where that thought process was taking me... I could be pregnant. The guy wasn't only cruel and torturous, he was also stupid... He didn't use any sort of protection. My only hope is that my body was somehow too stressed or clamped up for his seed to take root within me... If that's even possible.


Oh god... Thinking about him again... Once more I can just feel his hands all over me, see those eyes... In my mind, behind my closed lids, I see his eyes glaring into mine through the whole thing. I feel like I'm suffocating.


Without paying any mind to my surroundings, I abruptly stand and shakily walk back into my bedroom, making a beeline to the bathroom. Before I'm even off my carpet I'm stripping off my clothes, kicking off my shoes, begging my unsteady path to shorten, though I know that's not exactly possible. It felt like an eternity before I was able to drop down before the bath tub, my undergarments the only clothing still on my body as I turn on the scorching hot water. I had absolutely no control... The tears were just forcing their way down my face, sobs clawing up my throat, and body trembling in disgust and with those same sobs. I felt like I was breaking... And I was.


((So sorry it took so long, my stuff took far longer than expected.. ;w; ))

 

[Memster101]

(( Why is that girl so gorgeous D: Ughhh >< And that seniors sounds good That way we can continue into college if it goes on for that long or something? Also, you're fine :3 ))


I eased the door open and slipped inside the house, shuddering from the time spent outside. I looked around the neatly furnished home, feeling some annoyance bubble up within me. The house was everything that Mir's parents were. Neat, perfect, traditional. Everything their family truly was not. I couldn't wait till we both had graduated and I could whisk her far away from this hell hole. My own family life was a story book compared to Mir's, but not anything I would have bragged about. While my Mir knew most everything about it, there were somethings I had decided to keep from her, knowing she had so much already to deal with and not wanting to add to whatever turmoil that was raging on inside. Wiping my feet on the floor mat, I followed the sound of running water up the stairs.


The door to the bathroom was closed and watching the steam slip out from under it, I contemplated on whether or not to wait in Mir's bedroom or to go in. It wasn't like we hadn't seen each other unclothed before, after all, we were teenagers with a lot of free time and raging hormones, so that wasn't the problem. What was bothering me was the fact that I might have done something to upset her, and if I had, barging in on her while she was bathing might not be the best approach to the situation. But who knew how long she would be in there for? If I waited in her room, I knew my anxiety would get the better of me and I'd probably barge in anyways. Or leave. The sound of loud, choked sobbing broke my swirling thoughts and easily made the decision for me.


Thankfully, Mir's parents were fairly psychotic and had removed all of the locks on the doors in the house, except those leading to the outside of course, thus allowing me to easily turn the knob of the door and step into the bathroom. I did this quietly enough that Mir, too consumed in her thoughts and crying, failed to notice I had entered for a moment. My eyes widened when I saw the angry redness of her skin, and her broken, distraught expression. I had seen Mir cry countless of times, but never with such horrid emotions. Without much thought, I cried out, "Mir!", running on over and hoping into the tub with her. I knelt in the scorching water, quickly turning the water cold.


"Mir, Miranda. Calm down. What's going on?" I asked her in my soft, hushed voice, feeling tears prick my own eyes at her pain. It was so good to see her, to touch her again, even if it was in such a strange, unpleasant situation.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Aha, right?! Google to the rescue for gorgeous pictures! x3 And yeah, I like that. I think it'd be cool to see them go on to college together. c)


I shriek in fear at first as someone jumps into the water with me. However, when I see that it's my Teag, I just break down all over again. "Teag..." I whimper, the simple nickname sounding by my voice as broken as I felt. Even though I know I need to distance myself from her, and even though I know she'll find me disgusting after all this is over... I can't help myself from lunging forward and wrapping my arms tightly around my girlfriend, leaving her clothes even more soaked than they already were.


"Make it stop..." I plead, my face buried against her neck. The sobs didn't cease in the least... In fact, they got even worse. "Please make it stop..." I just wanted to stop feeling it... To stop feeling him. I wanted to stop feeling as if I'd betrayed Teagan, even though I had absolutely no control over what happened. I wanted to stop the fear that I could be pregnant, I just... I wanted it all to stop. "Please..."

 

[Memster101]

(( Yeah ^^ You reply fast xD I like dis. I try to but I like long replies and it takes me a tiny bit to pump them out >< ))


I gasped lightly when she practically tackled me into the still fairly tempered water, eyes closing in pain. The joy of having her pressed against me once again, wrapped securely in my arms and I in her, made the feeling almost nonexistent. I pulled her against me, ignoring the fact my clothes were now drenched, breathing in the comforting scent of her hair. I buried my face into her locks, hating and loving the feeling of her shuddering form against me as she sobbed. What had caused her so much pain? I felt my heart breaking for her as I tried to soothe her.


"Stop what, Mir? What happened?" I murmured softly against her scalp, pressing my fingers against her back. God I had missed her so much. Everything was starting to feel real again, solid. Without her, who knew what I would become? Before I had met her, I had been a stoner, a self harmer, lost in my self loathing and hate for the world. She had brought me back from the brink. Would I be able to do the same for her? "Shh... Sh.. It's okay now, Mir. I'm here. You're safe."

 

[Zotohxan]

((I'm sorry if my replies aren't as long as you'd prefer.. To be totally honest, I may go down to one paragraph as we get more into the RP and it's more dialogue.. It just depends a lot on the time I have, what all I'm doing while RPing, my stress levels, etc. x3


But either way, your replying times are perfectly fine! xD ))


"I'm sorry..." Again I whimper against my love, the only person I've trusted with my life... I really do love her, so.. Why am I keeping this a secret? She deserves to know... I pull back, just wanting to see Teagan's face. But the moment I do, I wish I hadn't. "I... I did this..?" I ask, my eyes wide, brows pulled together, and mouth open with my bottom lip trembling. I really hate that I could've caused my beautiful girl to look like this... Of course she's still beautiful to me, but... She looks so tired. So ill. I couldn't have really done that to her, could I?


Without waiting for a response I quickly stand out of the tub, holding tightly onto Teagan's arm. Even though I still felt the filth and disgust from the inside out, right now I was more focused on my girlfriend. Her clothes were soaked, and she looked as if she'd been put through the wringer... Though I suppose, with me ignoring her so bad... I guess she kinda was. 'God I'm so stupid...' I hiss mentally at myself, shaking my head as I grab two towels. I quickly wrap one around my body before holding the other toward Teag. "Here.. G-Get off the wet clothes, a-and wrap up... You can borrow something of mine to wear..."

 

[Memster101]

(( That's absolutely fine xD Mine vary too. It just depends on my mood and what I'm doing and such xD But thanks, yours are too :3 ))


I paused at the shift of gears, but let her guide me out of the tub, glad we were getting out of its now chilling temperatures. "You didn't do anything, love. This is just how I look when I don't have time to pretty myself up for you," I brushed off gently, wanting to get back at the matter of hand. On some level it amused me that she thought this was bad for me, did she not remember the me of two years ago? It was a feet within itself that she had fallen for me. All barely a hundred pounds, high as a kite, battered and scarred me. But she had, and I loved her for every minute of it. I complied to her request to get out of the clothes, smiling faintly. "If you haven't noticed, these are yours..." I mused without much humor, setting the wet clothes in the sink to dry off some.


I took the towel from her, quickly covering myself. Even if we had been together for two years and been intimate, it didn't mean I still wasn't self conscious of my scars. I knew she loved me, and every single one of them, no matter how ugly or torn they made my skin, but I could never get past it. Shutting the water off, I moved back over to her, setting my hand against her cheek for her to look at me. "Miranda...What's wrong?" I prodded gently, cupping her soft cheeks in my palms, glad to feel her again. I would never get enough of being able to touch or even just look at her.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Alright, just making sure that was okay. x3 I know some people get crazy pissed when you don't have a certain amount of paragraphs /-\))


I whimper slightly when Teagan pushes the topic... I quickly turn my head so she was no longer holding my cheek, and lower it. "I'm sorry..." I repeat again, feeling the tears fall down my face once more. I reach out and grab Teag's hand, leading her into my bedroom. I know she's still self conscious about her scars and everything, and so I wanted to get her into some clothes as soon as possible. Not to mention the way my room always seemed to be a season colder than every other room in the house...


I walk over to my dresser and pull out underwear and a bra, praising whatever there was up there that I was somehow blessed with a girl who wears the exact same size as me, in everything. "Here, babe..." I whisper, not looking at her as I hand over the clothes, then go to the next drawer for a pair of sweats and a shirt. I'd worry about getting myself clothed after her.. She was still my first priority, even though I was still trembling. Though the disgust is still horribly there, I'm mostly trembling now from the fear... What would Teagan say? Would she understand and realize it's not my fault, or would she see it like I do, as a betrayal?

 

[Memster101]

(( Ohh xD Yeah, I don't really get pissy unless it's like you disappear off the face of the earth for like ever >> I know things happen though so I try not to get annoyed ^^* ))


I frowned faintly when she pushed the topic away once more, but knew she would open up when she felt like she could. I knew what it was liked to be pressed endlessly and never wanted to do that to another person, especially my Miranda. We trekked to her bedroom where we were met with another cool burst of air, this one expected though. It was a surprise that Miranda wasn't constantly sick from how cold the room was. I watched her pick through the clothing, grateful as well that we were both the same sizes with clothing. It definitely made nights spent together a lot easier. I eagerly took the clothes from her when she offered them up, thankful that she adverted her gaze. I loved that she was so respectful about how I felt, it was another reason I felt so safe with her.


I changed quickly, setting the towel aside by the hamper, leaning back on the frame of her bed as she searched for her own pairs of clothing. My heart broke as I watched her tremble, knowing that it was from more than just the coldness of her room. I wanted to pull her close, to hold her in my arms until she felt better again. I adverted my eyes down to my lap when she started to change, more out of shyness than anything else. I adored every inch and curve of Miranda, but I was horribly shy about nudity and even now still warming up to it. When she was done, I reached my arms out for her. "Come here," I told her, moving onto the bed.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Yeah, same here.. ;w; ))


Once I was through changing into the same sort of outfit as Teagan, I notice her on the bed. When I hear her calling to me it just makes the pain come back full blast. I run to her, knocking her back against the bed as I lay on top, my arms tightly wrapped around the only person who's never judged me; who's always loved me. "I love you..." I choke out through my sobs, my face nuzzled against my Teag's neck.


"I'm so sorry I-I pushed you away... I'm stupid... So- S-So stupid..." I shake my head, going to lift it up but then lowering it to her skin again. I couldn't do it... I couldn't tell her the truth. She'd hate me, and I couldn't live with myself if she hated me... "Please don't hate me..." My voice was now full-on begging. But still, I couldn't face her. She's so concerned for me right now, but... There's no way I could tell her the truth. I couldn't tell her that I'd been touched by someone else, that no longer was I pure from anyone but her...


I used to actually be afraid of anything and everything intimate... But then I met Teagan. A girl who was broken and walking through life seemingly afraid, horribly wounded. By herself, and by the world. I helped her, but at the same time, she helped me. I'd never felt love. Not from a parent, or a sibling, or friend.. I'd never had my first kiss or anything. But all that changed when I met Teagan Saint Hopkins in Sophomore year. I could never pinpoint the exact moment I realized how deep I'd fallen, how hard. it was honestly as if I'd just woken up one morning, and everything seemed brighter. Everything seemed more possible, even I felt more alive. While she healed physically and emotionally, I did just the latter. I don't know if she realized how much she helped me back then... I've never properly thanked her, or told her... Maybe that's where I first went wrong?


"You s-saved me, Teag..." I tell her, finally pulling back so I was holding myself up on my hands, which were on either side of her head. "Back when we met... I know you always say how I helped and saved you, but... You did exactly the same to me... I love that you were my first... Everything. And I'd never change a moment of what we've been through... Except... What I've just done..." My arms start shaking too bad to hold me up as the sobs get harder, so I lower myself back down to bury my face against my girlfriend's chest. "Forgive me..." I plead, I beg, it's now my only desire...

 

[Memster101]

(( What time is it there anyways? xD ))


I eagerly accepted the tackle, pulling her tightly against me, knowing that I'd never have her close enough. I buried my face once again into her hair, breathing in deeply. She was my nicotine. In a sense, I had only gone from one drug to another, though this one much more healthier than the last. I slid my hands up under her shirt, pressing them against the softness of her back. "I love you too," I whispered, feeling myself tremble lightly as emotion threatened to take over me. "My Mir..." I sighed gently into her hair, my voice breaking gently as I tried to gather myself once more. I listened to her apology, knowing that while I was extremely hurt from her doing so, I could never stay mad at her for it. I knew very well I was guilty on some level of the same thing.


My attention shot up when she begged me not to hate her and I pulled her even tighter against me, knowing there was a chance I might be holding her too hard, but also not caring. I could never hate her. She could do anything, tear me down, dump me, and I would go on continuing to love her, no matter how broken she would have left me. My hands slid up to her shoulders, firmly gripping them to prove the point of my next comment. "I could never hate you. You are my everything..." And she truly was. My family, my best friend, my savior, my love. The light of my world, the keeper of my heart, of my life really. My everything.


I held her close for a few seconds when I felt her pull back, almost scared for a second she would leave me again. My hands fell to her back once again and I looked up at her, grey eyes watery as my tears threatened to spill over. Of course I knew what she was telling me, I had known it from the beginning and never thought it had needed to be said. It still struck me though when she said it and my eyes grew wide. Her next words shook me to the core as she fell back against me and it was my turn to tremble. "Mir... You're scaring me...."


'Except what I've just done.' 'Please don't hate me.' 'Forgive me...' What was this leading up to? Oh god...could she have cheated? Is this what this was leading up to? It certainly would have explained the last week, her distance, her begging, her guilt. I felt a knot tighten in my stomach as sob threatened to break from my mouth and I turned my face into her hair, silently crying. My hands pressed, shaking against the plans of her upper back nervously as I waited for an explanation.

 

[Zotohxan]

((<w< Aah, it's like 1 in the morning... How about there?))


I could feel Teagan crying against me, and I hated it... I hated that I could cause her to cry. I promised to never hurt her, yet... Here we are. Her comment about never being able to hate me... Now more than ever I hoped beyond hope that it was true. Because now, there's no way I can't tell her...


"The last night we were together..." I begin, sniffling as I force myself to sit up. This was a serious conversation... And even if I horribly missed the feeling of holding onto my Teag and feeling her holding me, I just know that she'd be disgusted with me being so close when I finally tell her the truth. I get off her lap and wait until she's sitting as well before I continue. It kills me, though, to keep my distance from my only love...


"When I was walking home..." I swallow hard, taking a few deep breaths. I was trying my hardest to keep my voice steady, but... That was one of the hardest things at the moment. "A van... It.. it stopped next to me... I thought it was someone wanting... Directions.." My hands ball into fists around the material of my sweat pants, my eyes squeezing shut as I lower my head once more. "It wasn't..." My back hunches over a bit more with another choked sob, but I quickly push it back... She deserves the truth. I'd tell her the whole truth, no matter how much I hate to remember it, and no matter how painful it'll be to see Teag's reaction... I just hope she still could never hate me after this...


"There was a man in the back... He opened the door, and... And..." I shake my head vigorously, feeling bile rise up in my throat. There's a few seconds where the silence is only cut by my struggling sounds of trying to keep it down, and thankfully I manage. "He pulled me in... He tore off.. Everything..." I was trembling even worse now. I slowly raise my head, blue eyes clouded and almost impossible to see any unblemished colour. I look into my girlfriend's own watery eyes, and I feel the hatred for myself bubble up so much fiercer. I've hurt her so badly...


"I'm no longer... Pure.. To only you, T-Teag..." I admit, my voice obviously just choked out of my throat. "I'm so sorry... Please... Please don't hate me..." After finally confessing this, what I've kept inside for what felt like an eternity, after so long of not having the only person I've ever loved near me, I finally told her. And as my body hunches over so that I'm practically touching the bedspread with my nose, my legs crossed and my arms held tightly around my stomach, my sobs come full force again. I wouldn't be surprised if I could be heard all the way outside. "I'm so sorry!"

 

[Memster101]

(( Why are you up so late?! xD And it's like 12 :3 I thought it was smart to drink coffee at like nine >> ))


I had to resist the urge to keep her against me, knowing I couldn't look at her if my assumptions were true. I didn't want her to see how broken I would look, to see my world crumble around me. After a moment though of hesitation, I did let her lean back, and finally move off of me. It was hard to control my shaking now, my hands clutching the bedspread in tight balls. My stomach started to quiver and I myself felt the acid churn, knowing there was nothing to throw up no matter how much I wanted to. Some how I managed to keep myself up right, though I was shaking visibly. I forced myself not to close off, to not shut down as I listened to her start to speak, eyes staring blankly at my lap as tears poured from them.


A slow sense of dread crept into my system, like a poison as her story continued, my eyes slowly raising to her face as my trembling stilled. I was frozen in place, in horror really. The churning in my stomach grew to a nauseating sea, and my nails threatened to pierce the fabric of her comforter. I could hear her speaking, acknowledge her words, but I couldn't process them. Suddenly the room was gone and all I could see what the scene she told of depicted before me. Horror,agony for my love threatened to drown me. But what sickened and horrified me the most? That she thought this was somehow her fault.


Tears spilled over my cheeks as I slowly began to register what had happened and I pulled her to me, tight enough that it hurt me, trying to assure myself that she was here, she was okay, and that this wasn't some horrible dream. "My beautiful... dearest.... My Miranda," I whispered, voice shaking as I cried, pulling the sleeve of the sweater I had borrowed around my hand, absently wiping at her cheeks as I held her. "This isn't your fault. I don't care what happened. You're mine. You're safe. And I love you."


And then the rage hit. Like a scolding shot through my core. I gritted my teeth, my hands balling into fists against her back. Who the hell did this man think he was to hurt her? How DARE he. My nails dug into my skin and I relished the pain, trembling with fury. I was going to find this bastard and make him regret what he had done. Make him feel the same disgust that Miranda was feeling, the self hatred, and the fear. "Who was it?" I asked her, my voice suddenly cold and deadly. It scared even me. "Do you know who he was?" I kept her against me to know the anger wasn't towards her, to prevent her from seeing the murder written on my features.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Ugh, I have no sleep pattern.. And right now I'm only just starting to get tired. x3


But jeesh.. At nine? Why?! xD ))


I cried harder when Teagan pulled me toward her. That meant... Her holding me, it meant she didn't hate me, right? Oh god I hoped so... And then she spoke, and my fears left me. She was being honest... She didn't think it was my fault, she... She wasn't angry with me. In that moment I moved quickly to sit on her lap, just desperately needing the feeling of being close. But only with her... I only feel safe with my Teag...


However, I can't help the small whimper that leaves my lips when I hear the cold, hostile sound of her voice. I think back... All I can remember are those eyes. I quickly shut my own tight, burying my face once more against Teagan's neck, inhaling her scent in hopes for it to calm me down. "I don't know..." I choke out, trembling horribly still. "All I remember... Is his eyes... God, Teag... His eyes..." And now I was full out bawling once more. I hated it... I felt so weak. And I was worrying Teagan, I ... I should've just never said anything... "I'm sorry... For worrying you a-and for being... For being stupid... I- I shouldn't have pushed you away..."


((Okay... Tiredness hitting me rather suddenly, so.. Sorry for how crappy this post turned out to be.. ;w; ))

 

[Memster101]

(( I don't even know xD I'm really not smart sometimes. And you're fine! I understand when that happens. Maybe bed soon?))


When I heard her break down all over again it sobered me some and I forced myself to at least draw the anger inside of myself, saving it for another time. I took a moment to wipe my hands against the sweats, knowing that I had broken skin and was bleeding some, before just holding her close, hiding my face against her hair. "I'm here," I whispered into her ear, "Focus on me, on my breathing." I forced my own breathing to slow to a steady rhythm. I moved our chests closer together so she could feel the rise and fall of mine. "You're safe now. I'm not leaving you." My hands smoothed up and down her sides, drawing her in closer to me and trying to sooth her.


I knew that the only way to try and find the man who did this was to bring the matters to the police, but it wasn't anything I was going to force Mir to think about at this moment. She was already so traumatized from retelling it to me, I knew she needed some time to gather herself once more before going through the process again. And I knew that if I took matters into my own hands, if I found the man, it would only make matters worse. Then there would be no one here to help Miranda. "I'll have my mom call me in sick today and I can call you in a little while."

 

[Zotohxan]

((x3 I get it! And nah, not that you're not smart.. Just coffee is amazing!


And ya know.. That's probably a good idea. >w>))


I nod slowly as I listen to Teagan's voice, doing exactly as she said. It wasn't long before I'd managed to calm myself enough so that I wasn't almost hyperventilating with every breath.. By the time she spoke again I was almost through trembling. Though, when I heard her words, it started all up again... I didn't want to be alone... I couldn't go to school today, there was just no way. But I didn't want to stay home alone. It'd just keep happening, I just knew it...


"No..." I all but beg, pulling back and looking into my girlfriend's gorgeous grey eyes. "Teag... Please. I can't be alone, I..." I shake my head, moving to rest my forehead against her shoulder in hopes of calming down again. "Do you think.. Would your parents care if I came with you? I mean... Just.. Tell them I'm really sick or something, or... The truth, or.. Whatever you want to tell them..." I really didn't care at this point.. I didn't care what lies were told, or what truths, and I didn't care who they were told to. I just wanted my Teag today... I knew I wouldn't be able to get through the day without her. "Please... I need you, Teag... Don't leave me..."


((And with that, I shall now bid you adieu... Good night when the coffee wears off~ ^-^))

 

[Memster101]

((Thanks xD Hope you sleep well! ))


I relaxed when she calmed down, mentally slapping myself though as she got worked up again over the thought of school. "I won't leave you," I promised, pulling her to me. I brushed one of my hands through her hair, trying to calm her once more. "I'll text her to call me in and wait until they all leave for work and we can go back to my place." I didn't want to chance staying here just in case her parents decided to come home and start some uproar. That was the last thing she needed right now. I released one of my hands long enough to send a text off to my mom, telling her that Mir was having a bad day and needed me to be with her. This done, I dropped my phone somewhere on the bed and returned the hand back to my girlfriend's back.


"You should stay the night... I don't want you to be alone tonight either," I murmured to her, shifting my legs some so she was pushed higher up on them. After a moment I adjusted us once more, gently laying her down on the bed. I kept her legs around my waist, settling between them and tucking my own along her sides. I pressed her firmly against the bed, pulling a spare blanket up over us, just wanting her to feel safe and secure. I tucked my head into the hallow of her shoulder, setting my arms around her waist to bring her even closer to me.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Yupp x3))


I started calming down almost instantly when Teag assures me she won't leave me. As long as she was here, and she didn't hate me after what happened... I was fine. My fears weren't becoming a reality, and I was incredibly grateful for that. "Thank you." I whisper, forcing a small smile on my face. But as I looked into Teagan's eyes, it started to become a bit more genuine.


After she lays me down and suggests I stay the night at her house that night, I nod. "I don't want to be alone either.." I admit, reaching up one hand to wipe the tears away from my eyes, also bringing a bit more attention to the purple bags beneath them. I barely get a full hour of sleep each night... Between the nightmares of that man, what he did, and the guilt I felt about Teagan... I just couldn't get any decent sleep. I was constantly waking up, or just flat out too afraid to go to sleep in the first place.


However, even by just laying here with my love... It seems to make everything that much better. "I love you." I tell her, looking into her eyes as my arms move to wrap around her waist, pulling my body even closer against hers. To be completely honest, I had been a bit afraid I wouldn't be able to hold her anymore.. To be this close. I was afraid that that man would've ruined this for me. Because even my own mother... I flinch now at her touch. But it's different with Teagan... I trust her with my life, even now. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you..."

 

[Memster101]

(( How'd you sleep?? ))


I frowned when I saw how tired she looked, gently kissing her tears away. I knew I didn't look much better, the areas under my eyes purple and bruised looking. A soft smile reached my own lips when I saw hers and I had to resist the urge to kiss her. I didn't know how she would react to anything much more physical than this and I didn't want to upset her. Instead I buried my face into the hallow of her neck, affectionately nuzzling at the skin there. I felt at home again in her arms. I knew that no matter where I was, as long as I was with my Mir, I would feel at home.


I pulled back once more when she spoke, chewing at my lip as I gazed into her beautiful blue eyes. "I love you too, Mir," I murmured, blinking some as my hair fell around us to create a sort of curtain. I pursed my lips self consciously when I realized that I was probably in serious need of a hair wash, having had no motivation to do anything much other than lay in bed, cry, and try to get in contact with Miranda the last week. I rubbed my face against my shoulder absently in hopes of removing any possible oil there might have been and running mascara/eyeliner. I resisted the urge to hide myself in Miranda's shoulder, feeling horribly self conscious.


"Are you kidding me? What did I do to deserve a miracle like you?" I smiled faintly, tilting my face closer to hers. I paused before our lips touched though, feeling an almost painful shock run through me at not being able to kiss her. I swallowed, once again hiding my face against her neck. "I still don't know what I do to deserve, how you can even love someone like me. It's baffling. But I love you with all my heart. Always have and always will."

 

[Zotohxan]

((Decent. I have a habit of waking up several times during the night(or early morning >w>) x3


How about you??))


I could tell that Teagan was feeling quite self conscious again, and I hate it.. I don't like her feeling so badly about herself, but.. I can't really do anything about it. It'll take time for her, just as it will for me. And even though she'd said them before, her words took me by surprise... I'd honestly not expected her to say something like that.


The biggest thing at the moment, though..? I hated that Teag felt as if she couldn't kiss me... I understand why, and I appreciate it... But for my Teag, I'm okay with anything. I pull away from her slightly, giving her a watery-eyed smile. "Life with you, Teag... It's better than anything I could ever have dreamed." I then tilt my head a bit and close my eyes, leaning in and connecting our lips. It'd been so long... So, so long.. I've missed this.


Sure there was a moment when our lips first connected that his eyes flashed in my mind, but.. There's a key difference. Teagan is soft, familiar, loving. The man was hard, cruel, merciless. I could never fear my Teagan. My love. Never in my life could I ever think she'd hurt me, no matter what I've been through. With that in mind, I break the kiss just enough so our lips still brushed when I spoke to her, but I could look faintly into her eyes. "Thank you.. But you never have to hold yourself back, with me." And then I kiss her again, hoping she could feel through my hands clinging to her shirt, and the way my lips move against hers, how truly in love with her I am.

 

[Memster101]

(( I do as well xD And sorry! I decided to pass out for some reason xD I woke up a few times during the night but aside from that it was okay ))


A soft smile broke over my lips as Mir spoke and I sat up a little more to get a better look at her face. My heart nearly jumped through my chest when she kissed me and I nearly started to cry from joy. My hands moved to gently cup her cheeks and I happily kissed her her back. It had been far too long since I had been able to kiss her, to hold her. I reminded myself to keep the kiss soft, tempered, not wanting to overwhelm Miranda. Things would different, maybe forever, but I was willing to overcome whatever obstacles we would face.


I almost whimpered when she broke the kiss off, eyes fluttering open to gaze into Mir's questioningly. "I still want to be careful... I know you trust me, and I would never do anything to hurt you, but I want to take things slow...just for a tiny bit for your sake," I murmured against her lips, skin breaking out into goosebumps at the constant but light brushing. "Right after this..." I met her lips, softly but urgently, pressing myself against her. I allowed this to happen for a few brief moments, relishing the familiar, sweet taste of her. My hands ventured to tangle briefly into her hair and I felt a shudder of need run through me. Before I could let things get too heated though, I pulled back, teeth gently grazing at her lower lip as I did so.


I looked down at her adoringly, swallowing with the pent up emotions I felt, knowing my pale skin was bright red from them. I smiled a slight, sheepish smile before shyly dropping my head to rest my forehead against her chin.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Haha, it's cool x3 And good~


<w< I may or may not be making cookies at the moment because why the fuck not.))


I knew my face must be horribly red... Feeling Teagan's body against mine again, even clothed, it was the most amazing feeling.. The most comfortable, the most desired. Hell, just being with her. Especially now... We both need each other, I think this last week apart has made us both painfully aware of that fact. But I don't want to focus on that right now... At this moment, all I want to think about is the beautiful girl in my arms, and the way I can practically feel her blush radiating onto my skin.


"Babe..." I whisper, my hands moving to run slowly through her hair. "I can feel you blushing." I giggle softly, loving that I'm able to tease her that way, even though i myself am blushing fiercely as well. I close my eyes, moving to just hug her.. To just hold her. "And by the way... You may not be perfect, but you're perfect for me. You're the perfect girlfriend for me, and I love you. More than you could ever imagine, and I never want you to forget that."


((Aah, tiny reply /-\ I'm sorry ;w; ))