Realistic or Modern OOC: Santa Monica Home for Boys and Girls [Reboot!]

[littlemedia]

Also it's not that easy for littlemedia either. Liam is wonderful, and we know how much Kai and his Pops loves our little bro. But I'm guessing LIam before they were adopted saw many temporary homes, so it's a hard feeling to shake off.

They do love them no doubt. They crazy-love them more than anything - spending all day and night with Liam when they went into hospital. But shaking that feeling is a hard one.

Yeah I lived at a lot of places before pops and dad and they all sent me away. Like 9 "forever families" and all of them said they love me and that I would be with them forever and that didn't happen.
Like I know pops and dad love me I do i really know that but it's just hard to fully get myself to trust them and trust that I am staying with them forever it's part of the reason I see a therapist once a week I just can't let myself trust people

Like I'm certain you guys are gonna get tired of me one day too

 

[Dawnstar]

It is outrageous the price you pay here just for something as simple as like an emergency ambulance tho lol.

It really is. It shouldn't cost anything to get to hospital - but even if you do believe it should cost money: At most an ambulance should be the cost of a very expensive decked out Taxi ride, not the price of a cheap car or something per ride.
Meanwhile a single bag of Saline, its cost about $1-5 to make a bag including a fresh IV needle, but some US hospitals charge $100-$500 for it!!! (cries) It is literally just precisely made salt water!

 

[Dawnstar]

Yeah I lived at a lot of places before pops and dad and they all sent me away. Like 9 "forever families" and all of them said they love me and that I would be with them forever and that didn't happen.
Like I know pops and dad love me I do i really know that but it's just hard to fully get myself to trust them and trust that I am staying with them forever it's part of the reason I see a therapist once a week I just can't let myself trust people

Like I'm certain you guys are gonna get tired of me one day too

It really hurts to hear you say that.

I know where your coming from tho. I get why you'd rather see a therapist and just let it all out to them, someone who won't say anything to someone else, who isn't going to hurt you.

 

[Edric Blight]

Yeah I lived at a lot of places before pops and dad and they all sent me away. Like 9 "forever families" and all of them said they love me and that I would be with them forever and that didn't happen.
Like I know pops and dad love me I do i really know that but it's just hard to fully get myself to trust them and trust that I am staying with them forever it's part of the reason I see a therapist once a week I just can't let myself trust people

Like I'm certain you guys are gonna get tired of me one day too

I'm sorry you had to go thru that. I honestly am pretty young too so I don't know if I can correctly speak on this or give you any words or advice. Admittedly, I'm pretty young and inexperienced so this is a bit of a heavy topic idk if I can speak on.

I get why you have trust issues tho, I personally have trust issues too irl.

And we're not gonna "get tired of you." If anything, I'll admit and and put it to you truthfully, there will probably come a day I no longer visit this site and stop coming here (not any time soon, but it's a very real possibility). One day I'll probably stop visiting or not have time for this site so I will admit to you, I'm probably not gonna be hanging around here FOREVER. But we don't need to think about that.

Other than that, I wish I could say more but this is kind of a difficult topic I admittedly don't know enough about to talk on and give you any valuable or sufficient words. I'm still pretty young too tbh.

But I can say this, I can see that your fathers love you VERY much.

 

[Edric Blight]

It really is. It shouldn't cost anything to get to hospital - but even if you do believe it should cost money: At most an ambulance should be the cost of a very expensive decked out Taxi ride, not the price of a cheap car or something per ride.
Meanwhile a single bag of Saline, its cost about $1-5 to make a bag including a fresh IV needle, but some US hospitals charge $100-$500 for it!!! (cries) It is literally just precisely made salt water!

I don't think it should cost money at all. In a perfect world: I just wish healthcare could be free and with no strings attached and no higher taxes or whatever. But of course, we live in this world so that's sadly not possible. Just crazy how much these basic and essential things cost here.

 

[littlemedia]

It really hurts to hear you say that.

I know where your coming from tho. I get why you'd rather see a therapist and just let it all out to them, someone who won't say anything to someone else, who isn't going to hurt you.

Yeah Dr Williams said I have gotten a lot better about talking about my feelings and being more open but trust is just something that is hard for me.

I'm sorry you had to go thru that. I honestly am pretty young too so I don't know if I can correctly speak on this or give you any words or advice. Admittedly, I'm pretty young and inexperienced so this is a bit of a heavy topic idk if I can speak on.

I get why you have trust issues tho, I personally have trust issues too irl.

And we're not gonna "get tired of you." If anything, I'll admit and and put it to you truthfully, there will probably come a day I no longer visit this site and stop coming here (not any time soon, but it's a very real possibility). One day I'll probably stop visiting or not have time for this site so I will admit to you, I'm probably not gonna be hanging around here FOREVER. But we don't need to think about that.

Other than that, I wish I could say more but this is kind of a difficult topic I admittedly don't know enough about to talk on and give you any valuable or sufficient words. I'm still pretty young too tbh.

But I can say this, I can see that your fathers love you VERY much.

Yeah I know they love me I really do but it doesn't make it go away.

 

[Edric Blight]

I get it.

Listen I have trust issues irl too. Just because I know someone likes or loves me doesn't mean it makes my feelings and trust issues go away. While I am not in your specific circumstance, I can say that I do get why you have trust issues and still have doubtful thoughts. So do I man, just about different things. It's hard and it sucks.

 

[Dawnstar]

 

[Edric Blight]

I'd definitely bring this up with a therapist if you have one. I'm CERTAINLY not a medical professional and to my knowledge, Dawn doesn't work in that field.

I personally can't help sadly, I'm just a highly in-debt college student. :/

 

[Dawnstar]

I did study a bit of psych, and I've seen my own ones before I know a lot but I couldn't in any way call myself a therapist. Even if I could, its not like this is something that you just 'fix'.
Liam has good reason they don't want to, actually just can't trust people.

And it hurts to hear them say these things. I was a mess as wel after I first found out our Little Bro went in hospital.
But, I can't blame them for not trusting us we're just distant friends online, or their Dad and Pops. It makes sense. I dunno if I would after going through that many families.

 

[Edric Blight]

I did study a bit of psych, and I've seen my own ones before I know a lot but I couldn't in any way call myself a therapist. Even if I could, its not like this is something that you just 'fix'.
Liam has good reason they don't want to, actually just can't trust people.

And it hurts to hear them say these things. I was a mess as wel after I first found out Liam went in hospital.
But, I can't blame them for not trusting us, or their Dad and Pops. It makes sense. I dunno if I would after going through that many families.

Ah I see. I didn't wanna make any assumptions or anything because I don't know what you did and didn't do and what you are and aren't qualified for.

But you're right, unfortunately stuff like that doesn't just get "fixed" with a snap of the fingers.

But kinda sad for me as an outsider and an internet stranger in no way shape or form qualified to talk on this issue to see it and know I literally can't do anything about it lol.

I certainly don't blame them nor do I think it's wrong that they don't trust us or their dads, but it sucks to deal with having trust issues because I know what that feels like. I have trust issues (admittedly for wildly different reasons than Liam just given our different circumstances) but I do understand exactly what it's like to not be able to trust even your closest friends.

I definitely can't speak for Liam tho as I've never been in their situation before. Again, just sucks because I seriously have nothing to say on this. I can't and I certainly don't wanna say anything wrong. I don't 100% know his whole situation, I'm pretty young and inexperienced, and I am NOT a qualified therapist so all I can really do is just say all I've said here.

Sorry. Wish I could do and say more but I can't. I'm just a random internet stranger probably living half way across the country and who is dealing with his own issues and barely getting past his classes with a passing grade lol.

 

[littlemedia]

Edric don't worry I wasn't really saying any of that to get advice or anything. I see a therapist once a week and we talk about this stuff and a lot of other stuff. I was just I guess venting a little and like trying to explain what I feel. DR. Williams (my therapist) has been trying to get me to open up more to people who I consider like friends and stuff to I guess as she says help me see that people do care so that I can start building some kind of trust. And so I was kinda sad and scared and decided maybe I could open up to you guys a little since I was talking to you.

So don't worry I talk to someone about this stuff and wasn't really trying to get any advice.

Dr. Williams said there is a good chance I will always have these thoughts and feelings a lot of kids like me do but it's how I deal with them that's important.
Like I used to anytime I did something even a little wrong or dad and pops got a little upset with me I used to just start packing up my stuff cause In my head I just knew they were gonna get rid of me but they never did. They would just start unpacking my stuff faster than I could pack it without saying anything and eventually I would stop.
Or like I used to hide food in case they got mad and didn't want to feed me but I stopped doing that stuff and that's what is important. Not if I do or don't have those feeling just how I deal with them.

 

[littlemedia]

I hope all that made sense.
Also dad you can say stuff now if you want.

 

[Dawnstar]

Its really heartbreaking to hear that stuff. I get it tho. I understand why you'd feel that way.

What did Kai not want to say something?

 

[KaiMedia]

I think you did a great job explaining things Liam.
I know it was important to you that you were the one to explain it and I think you did a fantastic job I wish I was that good with words and explaining how I felt at your age.
Just Know guys that this doesn't change how they feels about you or how important you are to Liam. Its just something that given the unfortunate hand they were dealt in life they have to deal with. But me and my husband know just like you guys should That Liam still loves and cares about us and they know we love and care for them Even though sometimes they might have a hard time believing it or they doubt any of it is real.

 

[Edric Blight]

Ok good I'm glad that you have a therapist you continuously talk to. That's gonna be your best bet. They can help a ton and plus it's their whole job to help you and they went to years of schooling to be professionally trained to do just that: help you.

And yea it all made sense. I just wanted to let you know I'm not really qualified to speak on this really being so inexperienced myself, but I 100% think you seeing a therapist will be great. They will be you're best bet. They can help a ton.

I hope things get better for ya.

 

[KaiMedia]

Its really heartbreaking to hear that stuff. I get it tho. I understand why you'd feel that way.

What did Kai not want to say something?

It was just important to Liam once they started this that I let them explain things rather than get involved myself so Liam asked that I wait until they were done.

 

[littlemedia]

well after all that
I love you big brothers
And I love you dad
But all this and the stitches and stuff I am ready for a nap.

 

[Edric Blight]

I think you did a great job explaining things Liam.
I know it was important to you that you were the one to explain it and I think you did a fantastic job I wish I was that good with words and explaining how I felt at your age.
Just Know guys that this doesn't change how they feels about you or how important you are to Liam. Its just something that given the unfortunate hand they were dealt in life they have to deal with. But me and my husband know just like you guys should That Liam still loves and cares about us and they know we love and care for them Even though sometimes they might have a hard time believing it or they doubt any of it is real.

Don't worry Kai, I honestly want them to put their REAL life first. At the end of the day, I'm some random dude on the internet who lives half way across the country who just RPs on this site with their dad. They don't have to apologize for thinking anything or changing any feelings on us lol. Well I speak for myself at least on that one, maybe not Dawn so I won't say us, but my point is I want Liam to know I think their real life issues should always take priority.

Seriously, I really hope I don't cause them any stress at all. All I care about it that Liam cares about the people that should matter most in their life: his two very loving fathers. I want nothing but the best for them and you guys. I'm an internet stranger I should take a back seat to all of this.

I also definitely sympathize with Liam questioning if any of this is real. No need to feel guilty for feeling that. Like I said, I have trust issues myself and I think these things in REAL life unfortunately. This is the internet so I can understand that anxiety even more since you never know on here who the hell is behind the screen and what their intentions are.

I seriously don't know if I made ANY sense here, but my point is, real life comes first. All I care about at the end of the day is the relationship that matters the most: Liam's relationship with their dads and their real life friends.

 

[Dawnstar]

I think Liam explained it great. It makes totsl sense. I never really thought about it before for Liam tho.

Just feeling bad now I understand better how they feel. That I didnt understand before. Hearing these words I CANNOT blame Liam for because t makes total sense..

well after all that
I love you big brothers
And I love you dad
But all this and the stitches and stuff I am ready for a nap.

Okay rest well. Sorry I know was proberbly not fun to talk about.

 

[Edric Blight]

Yea I don't blame them.

I literally question most of my irl friendships every other day lol. Not fun, but I feel them there on questioning if everything is real.

 

[Dawnstar]

Well I speak for myself at least on that one, maybe not Dawn so I won't say us, but my point is I want Liam to know I think their real life issues should always take priority.

Obviously yeah. Real life aways comes first. Duh. Their relation with their Dad and Pops always comes first. Their health and therapy. Never said anthing else!

Just doesn't mean I dont value this any less real than a normal friendship tho with you guys. Even if im just some name from halfway across the world...

 

[Edric Blight]

Obviously yeah. Real life aways comes first. Duh. Their relation with their Dad and Pops alwaus comes first. Never said anthing else!

Just doesn't mean I dont value this any less real than a normal friendship tho with you guys. Even if im just some name from halfway across the world...

Nah I know you never said anything else, I just didn't want to speak for you and say anything maybe you disagreed with. My bad for that.

And I don't not value this internet friendship but what I was trying to get at is I hope they realize at the end of the day, the most important people are the ones in their real life like Max and their dads. That's just how I see it at least. At the end of the day, I'm not much ya know? One day I will stop visiting this site and the world will move on. I just want Liam to value their relationship with great people like their two loving dads and this Max kid I hear so much great stuff about. Seems like a hell of a friend for Liam and I want nothing more than to see that relationship prosper and grow.

Maybe I'm not making much sense but I'm under a bit of stress rn trying to word things right, stress and typing sometimes aren't the best mix with me lol.

 

[KaiMedia]

yeah I too think Liam did a great job explaining things.
Also don't worry they weren't particularly upset or sad when they went off for a nap actually seemed in a pretty decent mood just a little drained is all.

and yeah the thing is obviously real life comes first but one I value you both as friends just as I would any other friend I have IRL.
but more importantly here Liam values you guys thats why they wanted to share and explain this stuff with you. Honestly I think just by being there and talking with them has helped Liam even more in the trust department. I don't know exactly why but they have changed since they started talking with you guys on a daily basis so basically I dont know why it has helped as much as it has I just know is had and to me thats a win.

don't worry Edric I get what you mean. I mean I don't want to think about the day we arent all on here talking every day but yeah I get what you mean. Don't worry Liam is building strong relationships IRL but they do value you guys a lot too

 

[Edric Blight]

Maybe I'm just saying some of these things because internet friendships have always spelt bad news for me personally and have always ended badly contributing more to my trust issues.

I once fell in with the group online and withdrew from my real friends for a year. I lost sight of the people that mattered: my real friends and family, and instead spent time on a stupid app talking to people who turned out to be scum bags.

Not that anyone here is a scum bag, but I'm just providing justification for why I want Liam to value their real life friendships and relationship with family first over us. They're young and I don't want any internet relations to ever cause him stress because I know I sure as hell almost let some silly internet friendships ruin my life.