Fantasy OOC for Down the Rabbit Hole

[Cactus Cupcakes]

Behold! A post born on the tail end of a massive depressive episode!

 

[TatianaNyxBlack]

Guys I'm so sorry I've delayed responding. Been so flipping drained and now stressing because we have a "PRIDE" ride thing coming up where our company CEO comes in and nitpicks everything. It friggin sucks.

But also stressing about Aries and Leo. Aries is in physical therapy(finally) after having gotten the original rx for it in June. Now there is talk about him having to go through a surgery to his neck to help his constant headaches/migraines. We're hoping the therapy will at least prevent the need for surgery on his back.

 

[Cactus Cupcakes]

Eeeeey man it's ok. You're going through some stuff. You just worry about you and your family. This site will still be here. We'll still be here. Don't feel rushed or pressured into posting if you don't have the energy. Take care of yourself first my man.

 

[TatianaNyxBlack]

Again Sorry I disappeared. I'm not dead. Been worried about dj, he has a hacking mucusy type cough and Aries thinks its allergies. Prolly because we are waiting on slow ass maintence at the hotel we live in to come fix the leak into our from the outside porch and the a/c. Plus my health was being weird. I had been dealing with a sharp stabbing type pain on my left side under the ribcage, so m concern was yay, kidney infection. I went the local ER and after they did blood draws, ultrasound on my kidneys and all that. I end up having to go back to the ultrasound room for something else.

Turns out, I'm 4-5 weeks pregnant. Its nerve wracking on one hand because of the miscarriage I suffered two years ago, but at the same time, I am elated because I have been wanting another little one. I'll love and cherish whatever I have, even though honestly I'd love to have a little girl this time around. Dj even knows and he's talking about momma is having a baby sister for him. Yesterday in particular I ended up laying down for a nap and he wanted to be right next to me and scooted down so his head was next to my belly.

 

[Cactus Cupcakes]

Eeeey congratz on the baby!

 

[TatianaNyxBlack]

Thanks. I'm sorry I have been absent still. Halloween with the little one, tied up with work and then trying to even get seen by an OBGYN has not been easy. I returned like 3-4 more times to the ER, not necessarily for a need to be there, but just because I had to go back because the OB I had an appointment with said that there was not enough information about the pregnancy at the time and so he couldn't tell me one or another or do the primary visit. I'm still getting the run around from the local hospital, and therefore my step-son Leo is adamant even when we don't have the gas money, we're going to the major local city for the hospital specifically designed for pregnant woman, and very much too for those that are High-risk like I am.

 

[TatianaNyxBlack]

I swear, I'm thinking of a post.

I have been forced to confront painful things going on in my life and with the relationships around me and the things that had recently been allowed to get out of hand and send me into a spiral of dark depression I had not been to since I first started dating Aries. Depression has no logic and so I was choosing to instead of reaching out to the people that care and get help, I chose to close myself off and ineffectually deal with my problems alone.

Among the factors, besides work, finances, the family health and the seasonal pressures, I was upset over being in severe pain, both physical and emotional, from having to go through another miscarriage. I still am currently trying to heal from it, and next Sunday will be the two week mark since it started.

I will get a post out, tonight at the latest.