OOC Discussion

[welian]

[QUOTE="CRiTiCAL ERR0R]Unfortunately, I think I'm gonna have to step out of Aegis for now. I've got some higher priorities and with my workload, I'd like to have room for my other obligations.

[/QUOTE]
Such is life! You'll always be welcomed back, once your load lightens.

 

[Gus]

[QUOTE="CRiTiCAL ERR0R]Unfortunately, I think I'm gonna have to step out of Aegis for now. I've got some higher priorities and with my workload, I'd like to have room for my other obligations.

[/QUOTE]
Bummer. Hope you are able to come back soon, man.

 

[Necessity4Fun]

Going to make editorial suggestions in small bites, because I really did have quite a lot of wine. The main thing that jumps out at me in the first bit is that the list is a little unwieldily. Here is an attempt to separate toys from the jokes puns and riddles:
Kendrick is a fun loving kid. He likes jokes, puns and riddles, and likes to make up his own. Firstly, his codename is a pun already, it can mean both an orchestra conductor (He conducts his toys) or a train conductor (toy trains are one of the most appeciated toys there are, even adults may collect them). He keeps this up even further by wearing a conductor hat.


He'll laugh at jokes and repeat jokes he heard, when a window of opportunity shows up. He won't ever join in pranking though, because that seems mean to him. Toys of course, are the centerpiece of both his sense of fun, and his power.

Oh! That's actually pretty good and less confusing


Thank you~ I shall edit that in :33

 

[Gus]

@Zahzi[/URL]


Anyway, I don't think I am going to finish Aaron's post tonight, but should be up early tomorrow.


I will plan to end the post just north of 108, on foot, around 3 pm.

 

[ViAdvena]

@CRiTiCAL ERR0R Good luck on your work, Crit! Hopes Emma will come back to hang out with my totally-angelic girl soon :v


Hmm, so either write for Mary now or waiting 'till timeskip...

 

[Teh Frixz]

I'll keep Riley around for him to wake up, feel free to put that in where needed! She's gonna hang here and wait for Praxi.

 

[Suzuki Mine]

Ffffff-


[/tosses all her character ideas on a table and proceeds to flip it]


Maaang, I was gonna have a character that paired with a character that Crit was gonna put in. Now I get to return to square one. DX

 

[Suzuki Mine]

[QUOTE="Teh Frixz]I'll keep Riley around for him to wake up, feel free to put that in where needed! She's gonna hang here and wait for Praxi.

[/QUOTE]
Ffffffff- I've totes forgotten to tag you directly whenever I've said it, but I think I'll be switching Praxi out for certain.


If ya want we can get together and figure out a little scene to help wrap things up with the whole Lucas dealio, as I dislike just leaving peeps hanging.


Sorry I didn't get to you sooner with this. Job hunting is a time eater. DX

 

[Gus]

@Necessity4Fun This one I added a few stylistic suggestions, put them in italics so they will be easy to remove if you want. My brain is getting tired (in addition to lightly toasted) so I am not so sure about these edits, but I think it still gets at what you are trying to say. The word "complex" does seem odd here. Maybe Reticent? "Not revealing one's thoughts or feelings readily" Other words that came up googling for synonyms were reserved (which basically means reticent) and aloof, which adds an element of unfriendliness, which seems not to fit. I would probably go with "reticent" As for the italic edits, take them as you will.

• Complex: The first impression you'll get of Kendrick Haywood, is that he is a reserved, serious and maybe even a boring person. As you get to know him however, you'll realise that is merely a facade, and a well constructed one. There is just no way to know what Kendrick is thinking; his poker face is too good. (He learned it from toy soldiers!) When he does show emotions clearly, it is jarring, and not completely believable. Sometimes he acts like a serious, adult person, others, he looks just like every other teenager you might know. This guy's mind is a rubik's cube...
  

 

[ManicMuse]

I am sort of shocked we don't have a physical appearance manipulation character yet.


I would think they would be sort of high ranked depending on how good they were at it.


Maybe a limitation would be, no matter who they can impersonate, their height does not change.

 

[Gus]

@Necessity4Fun


Having absentee parents, Kendrick bonds very strongly with his friends and his toys. He may not show it but, he enjoys being there for the people he cares about, and will try to make them feel better when they're sad. You might be by yourself on a bench in a mellow mood and suddenly be approached by this guy offereing you an ice cream or something...


With his toys too, the bond runs deep. Kendrick regards them as family, naming, cleaning and repairing them. If eventually one of them is broken beyond repair, he'll mourn for his fallen friend and, even if he gets a replacement toy, it will never feel the same to him.

 

[Necessity4Fun]

@Necessity4Fun This one I added a few stylistic suggestions, put them in italics so they will be easy to remove if you want. My brain is getting tired (in addition to lightly toasted) so I am not so sure about these edits, but I think it still gets at what you are trying to say. The word "complex" does seem odd here. Maybe Reticent? "Not revealing one's thoughts or feelings readily" Other words that came up googling for synonyms were reserved (which basically means reticent) and aloof, which adds an element of unfriendliness, which seems not to fit. I would probably go with "reticent" As for the italic edits, take them as you will.

• Complex: The first impression you'll get of Kendrick Haywood, is that he is a reserved, serious and maybe even a boring person. As you get to know him however, you'll realise that is merely a facade, and a well constructed one. There is just no way to know what Kendrick is thinking; his poker face is too good. (He learned it from toy soldiers!) When he does show emotions clearly, it is jarring, and not completely believable. Sometimes he acts like a serious, adult person, others, he looks just like every other teenager you might know. This guy's mind is a rubik's cube...
  

You did it again! You completely fixed it~~


I googled 'Reticent' and it does seem to fit :33 This part ended up so confusing that at some point, I didn't know what to call it anymore (Also had to google 'jarring')


It started as 'Enigmatic' but at some point I changed it to 'Complex', still not sure if it even fit >.<


I love it! I'm gonna keep every bit of this You have sucha good way with words, while I struggle with vocabulary... xD


(I learned new words today! YAY)

 

[King Of Imagination]

@ViAdvena is your character still Gabrielle, or did you change it, I forget.

 

[Guilded Clover]

Here is a second draft of my character sheet! Let me know if there is anything I need to work on.

Williams, C

• Heroism
• Statistics

• Aspect	Scale
  COUR	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	02
  ALTR	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	05
  ORDR	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	04
  KIND	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	06
  PRCT	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	03
  DIPL	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	07

• Aspect	Scale
  HLTH	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	01
  STRN	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	02
  DEFN	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	03
  AGLT	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	03
  INTL	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	06
  WILL	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	05

• General
• Appearance
• Biography
• Relationships
• Superpowers
• Gallery

• Full Name
  
  Cherie-Amour Williams
  
  Nicknames
  
  Cherie
  
  Codename
  
  Pathos
  
  Gender
  
  Female
  
  Age
  
  16
  
  Rank
  
  B
  
  Limiter
  
  Level 2; Active
  
  Role
  
  Student
  
  
• Race
  
  African-American
  
  Hair
  
  Brown
  
  Eyes
  
  Chestnut Brown
  
  Height
  
  5’5"
  
  Figure
  
  Spoon
  
  Notes
  
  She always carries around a black and gold colored notebook and a pencil.
  
  
• Forgiving
  
  
  Cherie always tries to find the good in everyone and is quick to forgive someone who has wronged her. Since she can sense how they are feeling, she knows that people tend to regret the bad things that they have done. She can be too forgiving sometimes, mostly because she likes the person and doesn’t want to lose a friend.
  
  
  Nosy
  
  
  She loves to ask questions. Asking questions can get answers and answers mean knowledge. Knowing more about everything is one of Cherie’s ultimate goals in life, so she is quick to make observations of people’s behavior and other interesting facts about them. If she asks more questions than you are comfortable with, just tell her to stop. She will for a while.
  
  
  Logical
  
  
  Cherie has a habit of dealing with issues logically. It ranges everywhere from real-life issues to more abstract, like her own emotions. She tend to think things over for a while and can overthink at times. This can make her seem as if she takes matters too seriously and is worrying about nothing.
  
  
  Expectant
  
  
  She expects a lot from herself and others. She strives to do her best and is not very nice when she and her friend(s) fails at a task. Cherie’s like the mom/dad of her friend group.
  
  
  History
  
  
  Cherie-Amour Williams was born the only one in her family with powers. They began to show very early in life like emotions do. Her parents weren’t surprised; in fact, they were expecting at least one of their children would be different in that regard. When it happened, they did their best to raise their family as they should.
  
  
  Cherie’s powers rarely increased as she aged until she turned 12 and puberty happened. Because no one in her family had powers, she felt alone and slightly scared. She soon decided to take matters into her own hands. She did some “training” in private, trying to figure out what she could really do. She kept notes on everything she and others around her did and felt. She did her best to keep her powers on the down low in public and everything seemed normal.
  
  
  Then the rumors came. Word spread after Cherie’s powers began to develop. Even though the town she lived in was not terribly small, rumors still spread like wildfire within communities. The Black community in her town treated the whole family differently. Cherie’s sister, Shantel, was constantly asked questions about her younger sister and how it was to be living with a freak. The parents, Darryl and Kimberly, were harassed endlessly at work and were always on their toes waiting for the next harsh phone call or someone knocking on their door wondering if they would go to church and try to “pray the powers away”.
  
  
  Sick and tired of the harassment, Cherie’s parents decided to enroll their youngest daughter into Facility 108 in order to ensure Cherie will have a better life.
• Other Character's Name
  
  
  Kimberly Williams
  
  
  Mother, 52, medical coder, usually reserved and doesn’t speak much.
  
  
  Darryl Williams
  
  
  Father, 63, retired, direct opposite of his wife: loud and loves to speak his thoughts.
  
  
  Shantel Williams
  
  
  Sister, 21, waitress, loves to party, has a son by unknown man.
• Emotional Energy Manipulation
  
  
  Cherie is able to manifest her emotions into a physical level and turn them into constructs that only she can use, such as weapons.
  
  
  • Emotion Detection: She can sense the emotions of other living beings and areas and can sense the presence of others if the emotion is strong enough.
    
  • Emotion Empowerment: She can become stronger temporarily from her own and others’ emotions (only works with Anger, Hope, Happiness, and Joy).
    
  • Emotions Color-Coded:
    Anger- Red
    Sadness- Blue
    Happiness- Yellow
    Joy- Orange
    Hope- Green
    Content/Neutral- Gray
    Fear- Black
    Lust- Pink
    (The darker the color is, the more intense the emotion is.)
    
  
  
  Limitations
  
  
  • Draining and Concentration: Cherie’s primary power requires her to concentrate in order to be able to create a construct. The moment her concentration is broken, the construct will disappear and she will have to try again. Breaking her concentration is painful and doing it enough will give her headaches or even pass out.
    
  • Strong Aura: If the area Cherie is in is filled with a certain emotion and it is very strong, it will incapacitate her and knock her unconscious.
    
  • Passing it On: Cherie can passively feel other peoples' emotions if she does not have enough willpower to block it.
    
  
  
  
• ---

 

[Gus]

@Necessity4Fun


Being raised in a rich family, Kendrick likes everything to be in perfect order, especially his things. He'll get caught on organizing and cleaning every now and then, and looks down on people who seem too messy or relaxed to him. His love for manners and rules can make him very irritating. He'll probably recite said rules to you, when you seem out of line to him. For Kendrick, a rule is a law, and as such, must be followed without question.

 

[ViAdvena]

@King Of Imagination still Gabrielle. Although I might change the spelling to 'Gabriele'


@Manic Muse It would be hilarious if the character is extremely short or tall xD "Did I just see mini-me running around?"

 

[Necessity4Fun]

@King Of Imagination still Gabrielle. Although I might change the spelling to 'Gabriele'

No, don't change it >.< I like the double L thing, it's different and so italian!


Kidding your character your rules :33


It's just, it looks like my real name I'm a descendant of Italians OWO

 

[Gus]

[QUOTE="Guilded Clover]Here is a second draft of my character sheet! Let me know if there is anything I need to work on.

Williams, C

• Heroism
• Statistics

• Aspect	Scale
  COUR	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	02
  ALTR	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	05
  ORDR	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	04
  KIND	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	06
  PRCT	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	03
  DIPL	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	07

• Aspect	Scale
  HLTH	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	01
  STRN	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	02
  DEFN	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	03
  AGLT	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	03
  INTL	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	06
  WILL	▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮	05

• General
• Appearance
• Biography
• Relationships
• Superpowers
• Gallery

• Full Name
  
  Cherie-Amour Williams
  
  Nicknames
  
  Cherie
  
  Codename
  
  Pathos
  
  Gender
  
  Female
  
  Age
  
  16
  
  Rank
  
  B
  
  Limiter
  
  Level 2; Active
  
  Role
  
  Student
  
  
• Race
  
  African-American
  
  Hair
  
  Brown
  
  Eyes
  
  Chestnut Brown
  
  Height
  
  5’5"
  
  Figure
  
  Spoon
  
  Notes
  
  She always carries around a black and gold colored notebook and a pencil.
  
  
• Forgiving
  
  
  Cherie always tries to find the good in everyone and is quick to forgive someone who has wronged her. Since she can sense how they are feeling, she knows that people tend to regret the bad things that they have done. She can be too forgiving sometimes, mostly because she likes the person and doesn’t want to lose a friend.
  
  
  Nosy
  
  
  She loves to ask questions. Asking questions can get answers and answers mean knowledge. Knowing more about everything is one of Cherie’s ultimate goals in life, so she is quick to make observations of people’s behavior and other interesting facts about them. If she asks more questions than you are comfortable with, just tell her to stop. She will for a while.
  
  
  Logical
  
  
  Cherie has a habit of dealing with issues logically. It ranges everywhere from real-life issues to more abstract, like her own emotions. She tend to think things over for a while and can overthink at times. This can make her seem as if she takes matters too seriously and is worrying about nothing.
  
  
  Expectant
  
  
  She expects a lot from herself and others. She strives to do her best and is not very nice when she and her friend(s) fails at a task. Cherie’s like the mom/dad of her friend group.
  
  
  History
  
  
  Cherie-Amour Williams was born the only one in her family with powers. They began to show very early in life like emotions do. Her parents weren’t surprised; in fact, they were expecting at least one of their children would be different in that regard. When it happened, they did their best to raise their family as they should.
  
  
  Cherie’s powers rarely increased as she aged until she turned 12 and puberty happened. Because no one in her family had powers, she felt alone and slightly scared. She soon decided to take matters into her own hands. She did some “training” in private, trying to figure out what she could really do. She kept notes on everything she and others around her did and felt. She did her best to keep her powers on the down low in public and everything seemed normal.
  
  
  Then the rumors came. Word spread after Cherie’s powers began to develop. Even though the town she lived in was not terribly small, rumors still spread like wildfire within communities. The Black community in her town treated the whole family differently. Cherie’s sister, Shantel, was constantly asked questions about her younger sister and how it was to be living with a freak. The parents, Darryl and Kimberly, were harassed endlessly at work and were always on their toes waiting for the next harsh phone call or someone knocking on their door wondering if they would go to church and try to “pray the powers away”.
  
  
  Sick and tired of the harassment, Cherie’s parents decided to enroll their youngest daughter into Facility 108 in order to ensure Cherie will have a better life.
• Other Character's Name
  
  
  Kimberly Williams
  
  
  Mother, 52, medical coder, usually reserved and doesn’t speak much.
  
  
  Darryl Williams
  
  
  Father, 63, retired, direct opposite of his wife: loud and loves to speak his thoughts.
  
  
  Shantel Williams
  
  
  Sister, 21, waitress, loves to party, has a son by unknown man.
• Emotional Energy Manipulation
  
  
  Cherie is able to manifest her emotions into a physical level and turn them into constructs that only she can use, such as weapons.
  
  
  • Emotion Detection: She can sense the emotions of other living beings and areas and can sense the presence of others if the emotion is strong enough.
    
  • Emotion Empowerment: She can become stronger temporarily from her own and others’ emotions (only works with Anger, Hope, Happiness, and Joy).
    
  • Emotions Color-Coded:
    Anger- Red
    Sadness- Blue
    Happiness- Yellow
    Joy- Orange
    Hope- Green
    Content/Neutral- Gray
    Fear- Black
    Lust- Pink
    (The darker the color is, the more intense the emotion is.)
    
  
  
  Limitations
  
  
  • Draining and Concentration: Cherie’s primary power requires her to concentrate in order to be able to create a construct. The moment her concentration is broken, the construct will disappear and she will have to try again. Breaking her concentration is painful and doing it enough will give her headaches or even pass out.
    
  • Strong Aura: If the area Cherie is in is filled with a certain emotion and it is very strong, it will incapacitate her and knock her unconscious.
    
  • Passing it On: Cherie can passively feel other peoples' emotions if she does not have enough willpower to block it.
    
  
  
  
• ---

[/QUOTE]
Very very cool. One minor point: Expectant seems like you are waiting for something, rather than having high expectations of yourself and people around you. I am thinking maybe you want demanding, exacting, rigorous, severe, or (my favorite) draconian.


Otherwise looks great to me!

 

[Gus]

You did it again! You completely fixed it~~
I googled 'Reticent' and it does seem to fit :33 This part ended up so confusing that at some point, I didn't know what to call it anymore (Also had to google 'jarring')


It started as 'Enigmatic' but at some point I changed it to 'Complex', still not sure if it even fit >.<


I love it! I'm gonna keep every bit of this You have sucha good way with words, while I struggle with vocabulary... xD


(I learned new words today! YAY)

Jarring was from @Bag o Fruit (credit where credit is due!) my brain is getting fuzzy, but I will try one more editorial suggestion before bed.

 

[Gus]

@Necessity4Fun


This mostly looks pretty good. I cut a few commas that I don't think you need (I have a tendency to overuse them myself) Also I took out the part about the toy being bonded, because I think that comes under weaknesses anyway, so you don't need to put it here.


Toy Manipulation


The ability to control toys to do his bidding. Kendrick can make a toy move according to his thoughts. If he pictures Ted the teddy bear grabing a pen, then Ted will do so accordingly. The toys under his control have enhanced strength and reflexes, so they can lift heavy objects as well as jump and run faster than a human would.

• Vision Sharing: If he concentrates, Kendrick can momentarily see what his toy is seeing, while under control. It's very useful to spy on people. It only works with toys that actually have eyes though.
  

 

[Gus]

@Necessity4Fun


Ok last one! I lightly tweaked the bonding thing, dropped the building part, as range seems simpler (and converted metric to imperial for range) The other three were very minor changes, mostly commas, one apostrophe, and a couple of connecting words and spelling mistakes.


Kendrick seems like a very cool kid/concept. Glad I could help.


Limitations

• Need for Bonding: Kendrick's power requires extensive bonding with the toy, loving it, naming it, getting to know it and caring for it. That leaves him only his Toy-Family; he cannot use toys he has just met.
  
• Range limit: Kendrick can control toys that are at a maximum of 1 block (263 feet 9 inches) from him, in any direction.
  
• Mental and physical strain: The maximum number of toys that he can control at once is 5, that includes any entity. So, if Kendrick was manipulating chess pieces, he would only be able to control 5 of them. Attempting to control more than 5 will cause headaches and if kept on for a very long time, brain damage. The same goes for attempting to manipulate the toy for a range larger than 1 block. When using Vision Sharing, only one toy can be manipulated, as it takes much more concentration.
  
• Toy Abilities: Though the toy has enhanced strength while being manipulated, it cannot carry anything heavier than 5 times it's own weight (Ted being a teddy bear and so soft, could carry a pillow, a shoe, even an empty wooden box but, not a closet or a TV, for example).
  When hitting something, their punches feel like a human's modified by their material properties. For example: Ted, the teddy bear's punch, would feel as if a lady punching you with cotton filled gloves, but if you got hit by Harry, the miniature car it would feel as if someone wearing brass knuckles just hit you.
  
• Anihilation of a Toy: Destroying a toy to the point it can no longer move, invalidates Kendrick's ability and that toy can no longer be used by him. Since Kendrick and the destroyed toy were 'connected mentally', Kendrick also feels a ping of pain (and lots of sadness) when the connection is severed.
  

 

[Gus]

@Teh Frixz Love Tabitha! Great use of irony in contrast of powers with personality. Shown beautifully.


Awesome.

 

[Necessity4Fun]

@Necessity4Fun
Ok last one! I lightly tweaked the bonding thing, dropped the building part, as range seems simpler (and converted metric to imperial for range) The other three were very minor changes, mostly commas, one apostrophe, and a couple of connecting words and spelling mistakes.


Kendrick seems like a very cool kid/concept. Glad I could help.


Limitations

• Need for Bounding: Kendrick's power requires extensive bonding with the toy, loving it, naming it, getting to know it and caring for it. That leaves him only his Toy-Family; he cannot use toys he has just met.
  
• Range limit: Kendrick can control toys that are at a maximum of 1 block (263 feet 9 inches) from him, in any direction.
  
• Mental and physical strain: The maximum number of toys that he can control at once is 5, that includes any entity. So, if Kendrick was manipulating chess pieces, he would only be able to control 5 of them. Attempting to control more than 5 will cause headaches and if kept on for a very long time, brain damage. The same goes for attempting to manipulate the toy for a range larger than 1 block. When using Vision Sharing, only one toy can be manipulated, as it takes much more concentration.
  
• Toy Abilities: Though the toy has enhanced strength while being manipulated, it cannot carry anything heavier than 5 times it's own weight (Ted being a teddy bear and so soft, could carry a pillow, a shoe, even an empty wooden box but, not a closet or a TV, for example).
  When hitting something, their punches feel like a human's modified by their material properties. For example: Ted, the teddy bear's punch, would feel as if a lady punching you with cotton filled gloves, but if you got hit by Harry, the miniature car it would feel as if someone wearing brass knuckles just hit you.
  
• Anihilation of a Toy: Destroying a toy to the point it can no longer move, invalidates Kendrick's ability and that toy can no longer be used by him. Since Kendrick and the destroyed toy were 'connected mentally', Kendrick also feels a ping of pain (and lots of sadness) when the connection is severed.
  

OOPS! Sorry about that, We don't use the feet and inches system here so I totally forgot xD


You've done great I really like all the modifications you did~


Since we are in the weakness area, I re-wrote the Toy Abilities part already, it looks like this now:


[*]Toy Abilities Limitations: Even with it's enhanced strenght, while in influence of Kendrick's manipulation, a toy cannot carry anything heavier than 5 times it's own weight. For example, a Teddy bear would be able to carry a pillow, even two but, not a television.


As for the toy's hit strenght, every hit has the strenght of an average human, with a plus, depending on the material the toy is made of. For example, A teddy bear's hit, would feel similar to being punched by a person wearing cotton filled gloves. A metal miniature of a car's hit, however, would feel similar to being punched by someone wearing brass knuckles.

 

[Teh Frixz]

She's my antithesis of the stronk woman trope. Glad you like her!

 

[Gus]

OOPS! Sorry about that, We don't use the feet and inches system here so I totally forgot xD
You've done great I really like all the modifications you did~


Since were in the weakness area, I re-wrote the Toy Abilities part already, it looks like this now:


[*]Toy Abilities Limitations: Even with it's enhanced strenght, while in influence of Kendrick's manipulation, a toy cannot carry anything heavier than 5 times it's own weight. For example, a Teddy bear would be able to carry a pillow, even two but, not a television.


As for the toy's hit strenght, every hit has the strenght of an average human, with a plus, depending on the material the toy is made of. For example, A teddy bear's hit, would feel similar to being punched by a person wearing cotton filled gloves. A metal miniature of a car's hit, however, would feel similar to being punched by someone wearing brass knuckles.

*Strength


(a word I have always struggled to spell correctly, and I am a native speaker. I always thought it needed an 'a' in there somewhere, like 'streangth' also length. Strength is correct though. I double checked.)


And with that, I am going to head for bed. I need to get up early in spite of the holiday, or because of it. Stupid parades. I want more sleep already. And I have writing to do now...