Fantasy Magic Brew Cafè

[RegalWindstar]

@Scattered Ambitions *hug tackles* SA! *cuddles* how are you?

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

@Scattered Ambitions *hug tackles* SA! *cuddles* how are you?

Pretty good, just started up a new rp. Been doing some outside writing, and music stuff. What about you?

 

[RegalWindstar]

@Scattered Ambitions well I said a lot previously about this so


Summary: Been streaming, making friends and "friends" getting hurt by "friends", Coming to terms with my relationship with Goldielocks and might eventually be able to actually let him go this year.


Though my RP is also gone to crap, everyone just poofed AGAIN, One person is depressed and I'm helping her, my one friend is on a week vacation but everyone else just poofed and I've tried contacting them and they don't respond so when that friend gets back and the other gets out of depression its only gonna be a 3 person RP. Though I guess it'd be easier with just those two because then we could move it along much faster.

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

@Scattered Ambitions well I said a lot previously about this so
Summary: Been streaming, making friends and "friends" getting hurt by "friends", Coming to terms with my relationship with Goldielocks and might eventually be able to actually let him go this year.


Though my RP is also gone to crap, everyone just poofed AGAIN, One person is depressed and I'm helping her, my one friend is on a week vacation but everyone else just poofed and I've tried contacting them and they don't respond so when that friend gets back and the other gets out of depression its only gonna be a 3 person RP. Though I guess it'd be easier with just those two because then we could move it along much faster.

I'm happy about all the good stuff, and (don't get mad) Goldielocks. I've always thought you were too good for him. Also: What's streaming?


And, hi Cryo! Long time no see, huh?


@Cryobionic

 

[Cryobionic]

Well that's nice, Regal. I'm glad you seem to be having fun, and coming to terms with things. Also, whaddup Scat?

 

[RegalWindstar]

@Scattered Ambitions I don't feel so inferior to him anymore (goldielocks) I now feel.. I have the mindset of "A worthwhile guy would love all of me" on top of that hes not so perfect after how he treated me hes definitely not even close to perfect. Even if I've come to terms and might be able to let him go eventually this year. I do think atleast a small shard of love remains in my heart. I think that love is for the past him and the small straw of hope I'm clinging onto that he will change back into the old him who cared so much about me. But thats so small of a part of me I think I could break away from that hope.


Streaming is live recording of video games for example people would watch me in real time fail at hitman or saints row or any other video game with my commentary.

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

Well that's nice, Regal. I'm glad you seem to be having fun, and coming to terms with things. Also, whaddup Scat?

This:

[QUOTE="Scattered Ambitions]just started up a new rp. Been doing some outside writing, and music stuff. What about you?

[/QUOTE]
Also, good job with your art!

 

[Cryobionic]

It's changed a lot, I'll admit. Now it looks like this.

Spoiler

<p><a href="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2016_03/troll.jpg.1f00beb16c1a6d1a8b95a822d17ede78.jpg" class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image"><img data-fileid="111872" src="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2016_03/troll.jpg.1f00beb16c1a6d1a8b95a822d17ede78.jpg" class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" alt=""></a></p>

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

@Scattered Ambitions I don't feel so inferior to him anymore (goldielocks) I now feel.. I have the mindset of "A worthwhile guy would love all of me" on top of that hes not so perfect after how he treated me hes definitely not even close to perfect. Even if I've come to terms and might be able to let him go eventually this year. I do think atleast a small shard of love remains in my heart. I think that love is for the past him and the small straw of hope I'm clinging onto that he will change back into the old him who cared so much about me. But thats so small of a part of me I think I could break away from that hope.
Streaming is live recording of video games for example people would watch me in real time fail at hitman or saints row or any other video game with my commentary.

I'm so glad you don't feel inferior any more. Also, if you want to get rid of that last shard of love, here's what you do:


Write down a list of everything he's done to you that's bad, eveything you don't like about him, ect. and when you start feeling like you love him, just read that list.

 

[RegalWindstar]

@Scattered Ambitions thats a really small list compared to the good hes done though. because the bad is

• left me for months upon months with little contact
  
• came back to town with no contact
  
• missed my birthdays and holidays
  
• didn't even contact me when I was sick
  

it doesn't seem like much to not love him over because my brain can make up excuses for it all (except the no contact once in town)

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

@Scattered Ambitions thats a really small list compared to the good hes done though. because the bad is

• left me for months upon months with little contact
  
• came back to town with no contact
  
• missed my birthdays and holidays
  
• didn't even contact me when I was sick
  

it doesn't seem like much to not love him over because my brain can make up excuses for it all (except the no contact once in town)

All that stuff is pretty bad, Re.

 

[Kihara017]

I wonder how all of you have been. I miss you all and yeah I still miss and think about this RP a lot.
Like I've said before it's one of my homes.


I've been streaming lately. It's fun but very scary and a bit stressful. I feel like I made a contract that I'll never escape by starting up.


I've also been making more friends, getting hurt by more "friends", been helping friends who are going through rough times.


I've been afraid with this lack of communication between us all, this distance that we'll grow apart and forget eachother.


Let's not do that eh? We'll be friends forever right? We'll always be a family. If any of you try to escape our family.. I'll just pull you guys right back.


I'm not letting people I cherish go, ever. I'll also always be the nagging mother type who always worries about your health, you'll just have to learn to live with it ( )


I'll always check on my home, I'll never give up on it. So you guys better help me take good care of it okay? Don't make me become a hobo fairy.


If you ever think you can escape me, pfft you got another thing coming because my heart will always follow you guys clinging tightly. ()


I have too many memories with you guys, with this RP to give any of it up, too much.. you guys are in my heart.


So you better not give up on me okay? You better never hide problems from me either okay? If you're having a hard time just tell me hm?


You should know by now, I have your backs.


Also I am still hoping Thistle will come back some day too even though she doesn't want to get addicted to this site again. This site, this RP, my life wouldn't be the same without any of you. You're all precious to me and you all are amazing writers. Saranghae ()


(Mm, I'm still Asia crazy ( ))


@Elfia Nightwing @Mr Swiftshots @Cryobionic @DestinyRed @Scattered Ambitions @Kihara017 @thistle

*pokes head in* I've been summoned? *curious fox face* What's up?

 

[RegalWindstar]

@Scattered Ambitions Like I said my brain can make excuses though

• Left me for months with little contact - was so busy or in trouble so he couldn't manage to
  
• Missed my birthdays and holidays - couldn't make it because he travelled further than I guessed
  
• didn't contact me when I was sick - how was he to really know? he wasn't in town its possible he didn't know.
  

 

[RegalWindstar]

@Kihara017 *hug tackles* DNA! *cuddles* How have you been? *pokeadoodles*

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

@Scattered Ambitions Like I said my brain can make excuses though

• Left me for months with little contact - was so busy or in trouble so he couldn't manage to
  
• Missed my birthdays and holidays - couldn't make it because he travelled further than I guessed
  
• didn't contact me when I was sick - how was he to really know? he wasn't in town its possible he didn't know.
  

Couldn't he have called? Written you letters? What about the time when he ate? He could have written you then. There are plenty of ways to mail a letter, quickly. He could have written you on your birthday/holidays. I suppose he can be forgiven for the sick thing. And, when he came back to town, did he visit you, or even contact you at all?

 

[Elfia Nightwing]

Hi?

 

[Scattered Ambitions]

[QUOTE="Elfia Nightwing]Hi?

[/QUOTE]
Elfia!

 

[Elfia Nightwing]

Hey.^^'

 

[RegalWindstar]

@Elfia Nightwing *Hug tackles* Elfia! How have you been?


I just got out of the shower

 

[Elfia Nightwing]

Pretty good, I started at college, and so far so good.

 

[Kihara017]

@Kihara017 *hug tackles* DNA! *cuddles* How have you been? *pokeadoodles*

*coughs away for a moment* I'm doing pretty okay I guess. Minus the whole walking pneumonia thing. Nothing contagious though :3 *pokes*

 

[RegalWindstar]

[QUOTE="Scattered Ambitions]Couldn't he have called? Written you letters? What about the time when he ate? He could have written you then. There are plenty of ways to mail a letter, quickly.

[/QUOTE]
Mm but I don't know what situation he was in, things could have been hectic I may not know what his job is but I do know for a fact it is a very important one.

[QUOTE="Scattered Ambitions]when he came back to town, did he visit you, or even contact you at all?

[/QUOTE]
Well okay I'm a bit wrong on that part, I keep saying he didn't visit me or contact me at all when he came back to town but he did once, its just I was really tired and drowsey at that time having been hard on myself Which I remember faintly he was mad about but that was the ONLY contact with him since he returned, and all it was was him scolding me for me being down on myself no I missed you or anything though maybe it was because I fell asleep after being scolded about being hard on myself. I remember saying things about how I didn't deserve him and also about how he was a jerk leaving me so long. I was drowsey think of..drunk people spilling all their thoughts. Thats how I was. So I might be the problem, thats another thing I've realized is all this could actually be my fault.


At the same time though I think its his, its so...complicated.


I don't know why I keep forgetting that tiny bit of contact when he came back either, is it perhaps because I consider it a bad memory so my brain keeps trying to get rid of it so I can live happily? Thats how my brain has become It'll forget anything unpleasent as fast as possible sometimes accidentally dumping good memories with it. Augh! I don't know, I just Don't know!


Even though I've come to terms with how things are going, I at the same time am wondering if I really have because of how confused and conflicted I end up once in awhile.


Do you know what all I want from him is? An Apology, thats it and maybe a hug. I also want him to be there when its important in the tough times.


But before I give up on him? Just an apology would bring me back, just a simple sincere apology. Thats all I ever want when I'm wronged! Why can no one ever give that to me? Why am I always the one apologizing?


Also I'm so sorry I just..haven't had anyone to talk about this really to lately and the more I think the more confusion and confliction I feel and I just feel like I'm being torn two directions. On one hand I want to keep my love longer to give him more time but on another I'm so ticked off and frustrated. I just don't know anymore.

 

[RegalWindstar]

@Kihara017 Eh? How'd that happen? Are you okay? you're treating it right, right? I dunno how to treat it since I don't think I've ever had it.


@Elfia Nightwing if you meet any jerks in college *grabs chainsaw, flamethrower, rocket launcher, katana, shuriken* mm its gonna take awhile to grab all my weapons.

 

[Elfia Nightwing]

Nah, it's a small community college, I'm just getting my first two years so I can transfer and focus on my major. I'm thinking about a Master in English ^^'

 

[Kihara017]

@Kihara017 Eh? How'd that happen? Are you okay? you're treating it right, right? I dunno how to treat it since I don't think I've ever had it.
@Elfia Nightwing if you meet any jerks in college *grabs chainsaw, flamethrower, rocket launcher, katana, shuriken* mm its gonna take awhile to grab all my weapons.

I dunno how but I got it, I'm fine, yes I'm dealing with it with nasty ass meds, and hows your life been?