Futuristic Into The Dark

[Mystik]

@Lenchan


I mean, I might post her just doing foresty stuff. Starting to make her own little camp, etc..

 

[Mystik]

@Floodwater31 Woah woah woah..


I'm pretty sure you have to make those emotes during the time that all that drama was happening.. If Arthur had been shot throughout that Teal would have acted MUCH differently and probably would have shot Alex instead..

 

[Floodwater31]

I meant for Alex to get shot, did I mess up the phrasing?

 

[Mystik]

You said Arthur got shot by Alex with rubber bullets..


Maybe not, English is my second language. I might just be misunderstanding.

 

[Floodwater31]

Would've, he was aiming, never did shoot

 

[Lenchan]

You said Arthur got shot by Alex with rubber bullets..
Maybe not, English is my second language. I might just be misunderstanding.

I think that was all a counterfactual "What if" to bring his character to speed in a sensible way. All Alex's thought process during the ordeal.


I miss camping

 

[Floodwater31]

It seems I fucked the phrasing up somewhere, I'll go edit it so it is understandable


Just me being a meathead

 

[Mystik]

@Lenchan There's Islands off the coast of where I live that have unrestricted camping.. Meaning you can just find somewhere to set up your tent and bam! That's it.. It just doesn't allow big fires, for obvious reasons.

 

[Floodwater31]

Found some bugs, fixing now

 

[Mystik]

I can see our survivors making something like this if they choose to settle..

 

[Floodwater31]

Alex stood a little further from the group, shell shocked from the whole experience. He lowered the gun he'd had aimed through the whole time, luckily he hadn't fired. Instead of having it aimed at Teal, it had been trained on Arthur. Assuming Joshua had told the truth and the gun was loaded with rubber bullets, Arthur would have taken the hit and fallen down, making Alex the biggest threat in the area since Teal would assume Arthur was dead. After Alex had taken a few shots from Teal, Teal would realize Arthur was unharmed and that her training had failed her, and she'd doubt her resolve long enough for Joshua to stop her from shooting herself (he had finally found where Joshua's interests lie). To Alex's surprise however, the gun came down on it's own, then her tags went to her mouth. What's she doing? Why would sh- that's when the gun came back up, fuck. It was then that Alex realized he could do nothing from this distance, he couldn't even approach the group without startling her into shooting something, people are going to die... before he knew it, another shot had gone off and Teal was half way through a bush. Why do I only zone out when important things happen...

This better? I'm sorry that I screwed the post.

 

[Mystik]

@Floodwater31 To me it's still confusing. Would in English implies "My character would have done this" and "I would have done that"..


I phrased that badly, but it just means two different things in my head.


Maybe for example.. "Teal would lean on Joshua if he allowed her to." and "Teal would have done that if Joshua didn't abandon her."

 

[Floodwater31]

sorry, I'll keep messing with the language until I get it right

 

[Mystik]

 

[Floodwater31]

Ya, our language is bitch

 

[Mystik]

 

[Floodwater31]

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo.


(this is a legitimate sentence in the English language)

 

[Floodwater31]

Alex stood a little further from the group, shell shocked from the whole experience. He lowered the gun he'd had aimed through the whole time, luckily he hadn't fired. Instead of having it aimed at Teal, it had been trained on Arthur. The idea had been to shoot Arthur, which would make him fall, but he hadn't needed to, seeing that Joshua had intervened, so that's where his interests lie. Good thing too, Teal could put a lot more holes in me than I could her, even if I had real bullets. Wait is she- Why would she? Oh shit! Alex stood horrified as Teal held her gun to her head, there is nothing I can do, if I approach she'll startle and people will die, If I don't she'll kill herself... Alex woke from his daze in time to see Teal halfway through a bush. Why do I always zone out when important stuff happens?

This good? The old paragraph has been replaced

 

[Jarkov Malachai]

*crawls in and groans* gods my arms mate, so much wood that had to be cut, hallow eve decorations that need fire to work are such a pain yet they shall be oh so worth it later


Any who, I iz back and can now begin posting. Hopefully enough rp time has passed that Azahara can have left and gotten there.

 

[Lenchan]

@_@ ...oooooohhhh, Kao jai ka. I was confused by you're meaning Teal, but I get it now.


A. @Floodwater31 I think it's fine as it is now. If you want the magic formula to fix it you just need to pop a "if he had fired" between "...rubber bullets,/xxx/ Arthur would have taken the hit..." and change your past imperfect tense to include more counterfactualization?

Spoiler

Assuming Joshua had told the truth and the gun was loaded with rubber bullets, if Alex had fired Arthur would have taken the hit and fallen down, making Alex the biggest threat in the area *some break here to keep tense sense* since Teal would might assume Arthur was dead. After Alex had could have (though personally I'd rephrase the sentence to something like: Teal might've returned the favor, putting a few shots in him before realizing Arthur was unharmed...causing her to doubt.." etc) taken a few shots from Teal, Teal would realize Arthur was unharmed and that her training had failed her, and she'd doubt her resolve long enough for Joshua to stop her from shooting herself (he had finally found where Joshua's interests lie). To Alex's surprise however, the gun came down on it's own (You could affirm here that it was in fact counterfactualizing. e.g. "on it's own, voiding the play-by-play railing through his head, her dog tags..." ya know, make it your own. I'm bad at style mimicking so don't think I mean for you to use this style particularly, but to take away the essence of the context), then her tags went to her mouth.What's she doing? Why would sh- that's when the gun came back up, fuck. It was then that Alex realized he could do nothing from this distance, he couldn't even approach the group without startling her into shooting something, people are going to die... before he knew it, another shot had gone off and Teal was half way through a bush. Why do I only zone out when important things happen...


Not being obnoxious here, you just seemed legitimately curious for a second opinion @Floodwater31

 

[Floodwater31]

You don't leave things half done, you keep redoing it till you get it right, but ya, I already rewrote the entire paragraph

 

[Lenchan]

Ya, our language is bitch

@TealFyre @Floodwater31 As a linguist, this makes me happy. ()

 

[Lenchan]

[QUOTE="Jarkov Malachai]*crawls in and groans* gods my arms mate, so much wood that had to be cut, hallow eve decorations that need fire to work are such a pain yet they shall be oh so worth it later
Any who, I iz back and can now begin posting. Hopefully enough rp time has passed that Azahara can have left and gotten there.

[/QUOTE]
You aren't allowed to post until I get some imagery. *personal and professional lines are CROSSED*

 

[Jarkov Malachai]

Can I haz begins the murders please? I want to write all this down and post it at the same time, if not, ill simply well.... you don't need to know

 

[Jarkov Malachai]

OI!

You aren't allowed to post until I get some imagery. *personal and professional lines are CROSSED*

Bull! Im getting those developed damnit, when I get the data back in a better format as well as my physical copies ill give ya one, till then suck it up!


I want to haz begins murder!