Fantasy I Was Fine Until You

[British. Intelligence.]

Silas was aggravating a lot of the time but he’d certainly frown on Arthur who had learned to cope somewhat with his teasing, it did help that Silas seemed a bit soft with him. At least Caroline wasn’t angry that Silas and Arthur were spending so much time together, but maybe they should include her sometimes. Arthur smiled gently as she played with him. “Oh that is a shame, guess we’ll just have to do something inside instead” yeah, in the warm, that would be much better! He didn’t know what though. Perhaps play a game! Not hide and seek because Arthur would just genuinely get lost. He even managed a small laugh as she said about him snoring. Of course she was teasing him, although he wasn’t actually sure if he snored or not, he’d never really asked Ethan, maybe he should ask Silas? its not like he could change it anyway so he supposed it didn’t matter.

The bustle of the kitchen was familiar, just like home, but the smells from the food were a little strange, likely due to foreign ingredients snd different spices. Arthur had actually be busy looking around the kitchen that he hadn’t noticed the man until he walked inti him, blinking in surprise at the worried servant. Caroline was luckily clearing things up and it seemed they’d get their breakfast soon enough. Caroline was then urging his attention elsewhere and he looked where she’d suggested, and yeah, he could defintiely see the resemblance. He remembered Ethan had said his family were quite important, hadn’t his mother been one of the queen’s ladies? Although he didn’t know what she did now. And looking at the man, it did make his heart pang a little, with such an abrupt ending, he still missed Ethan. Sure they’d reconciled a little but it didn’t feel like everything had been resolved. Ethan had essentially been his first boyfriend, and okay he was aware they’d not actually labelled anything but what else was he going to call it?

And speaking of Ethan, what was he up to now? He let his eyes roam the kitchen again, wondering if he’d gone to work for his father, or maybe he was still getting settled back in. “Do you know what Ethan’s doing now?” He asked Caroline curiously, trying not to sound too invested. Susan might’ve mentioned Ethan to Caroline with any luck. They’d made up a bit so he supposed he could ask Ethan back to work for him, but that might be a bit awkwar, but Ethan didn’t have to work for or date him, they could still be friends. ”or where his room is?” It would be nice to talk to him again, when he wasn’t crying this time, try and clear anything remaining up and leave as friends. He’d obviously not told Caroline what went down but maybe she just assumed they’d split apart because of Morgan which was the truth, just not for the reasons she likely suspected. What would he even say to Ethan though? Maybe he should figure that out before he spoke to him, he’d just like to know how he was doing, if he was happy. “Do you know why him and Silas don’t get on actually?“ he asked Caroline, he’s not sure he ever got an answer before, and obviously both Silas and Ethan were biased. “Or do you think it’s just Silas being Silas?” He imagined it was quite taxing working for the other prince, especially if you didn’t get off on the right foot. He remembered Ethan saying about the cheetah and how he hadn’t been a fan.

 

[Officer Newt]

Sadly for Arthur, It seemed Ethan was absent from the kitchen. Luckily Caroline seemed to have some answers for where he was. Thinking for a moment before telling Arthur. " I believe him and Susan left yesterday to visit different relatives in the area. I imagine they'll be staying with them before returning to the castle in a few days. " Ethan's parents were here. But he had other friends and family he'd be reconnecting with. Caroline doubted he'd be gone too long though. Caroline then blinked at the next question. Considering things for a moment before telling Arthur. "I'm afraid I'm not aware of his exact room. But I can talk to his mother and ask? Or ask Susan when she returns?" She offered.

A grin formed on her face at Arthur's next question. She then told him. "I don't think they ever liked each other. I think Ethan's mother tried to push for them to be friends. And that just went terribly. " Ethan's mother had been close with the late queen and the boys were close in age. Of course she had tried to encourage a friendship between them when they were young. Clearly it hadn't worked. "I'm not sure why, I think they just never clicked. " She explained. Maybe there was more behind it? But Caroline knew nothing of such. Nor did she fully understand the dislike with eachother. Caroline had been introduced to Susan young and the two had gotten along wonderfully!

Caroline then considered things for a moment before suggesting. "If you want, I could see about arranging a new personal servant for you while your here? It might do you good having someone experienced with the area with you. " As well as give him more companionship. Caroline knew a few servants that could work. It couldn't hurt simply introducing him to them! It was then, The servant that had bumped into Arthur was returning. Carrying a small tray with a few plates on it. Soon dipping his head as he stood in front of the royal couple. Clearly still tense and uncomfortable. Caroline soon grinned. "Thank you, You can just give the tray to Arthur. I'm sure he can handle carrying it. " Silas might not want many people seeing him so injured. So best for just them to go.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Arthur tried to hide his disappointment that Ethan was no longer in the castle. It’s not like he’d really talked to Ethan properly, knew things were still a bit awkward and unsure between them, but he missed him all the same. Once he got back he’d make sure to seek him out and make sure there were no hard feelings and they could be friends. Arthur actually felt a bit mortified as Caroline suggested talking to Ethan’s mother. He wasn’t sure he wanted to involve her, because then she’d surely be asking questions about how well the two got on. Also, maybe it was stupid, but what if Ethan’s mother didn’t like him? In all reality it didn’t matter, he wasn’t with Ethan anymore and even if he had been, it’s not like Ethan was going to tell his mother about it, and in everyday life Arthur outranked her so having a bad opinion on him wouldn’t do much. He just….liked being liked he supposed. And he’d like to be approved of, especially by the parent of someone he used to be so close with. “Susan might be better to talk to” he said, at least she‘d been aware that the two had been friends although he wasn’t really sure her feelings on him anymore, surely she couldn’t dislike him as much as the eldest lady!

Arthur did wonder if there was a story behind them not liking each other but if that were the case then Caroline was not privy to it. He knew Silas could be polarising and Ethan was….awkward at times but Arthur found both of them sweet. Then again, Arthur didn‘t have much trouble getting along with most people so maybe wouldn’t be great at analysing conflict. He supposed he could always ask Silas another time. Arthur looked towards Caroline as she suggested getting him another personal servant. Is that why she thought he’d asked? He guessed it made sense but it wasn’t the truth, although Ethan could have the job if he wanted it, he just wasn’t sure he would. “It might” he agreed although admittedly his whole heart wasn’t into it. Did he really need more people in his messed up life? Although he supposed it wasn’t like he had to hide marks anymore like he had with Ethan and who knows, this servant might become a great friend!

Arthur went to take the tray from the servant at Caroline’s suggestion, murmuring his thanks and going to exit. Whilst Arthur might not be an expert navigator of the castle yet, he certainly knew the way to Silas’ room by now. “I don’t know if he’ll still be asleep, he was when I left him” he told Caroline as they neared the door. “He really should rest as much as possible but I get that it might be boring for him to just lay in bed all day. We might have to come up with some games to keep him occupied” Maybe they should’ve brought some cards? Well, he guessed he might be the one more to keep Silas occupied, he didn’t have many other friends unlike Caroline who would likely want to catch up with hers. Soon enough they were there and Arthur figured he’d let Caroline open the door since he was oh so busy carrying the tray.

 

[Officer Newt]

Arthur didn't seem opposed to the idea, So Caroline figured it couldn't hurt to atleast introduce him to a few servants. Besides, Even if he didn't hire one to work for him. He could probable do with a few new friends! Caroline would need to ask her ladies for some suggestions. But for now, Best to focus on checking on Silas. The two had soon set off away from the kitchen. The cooks probable were glad to have the two of them out of there way. But, As they walked, Caroline found herself more and more nervous to see her brother. How damaged was he? She tried not to let such show on her face. Nodding quietly at Arthur's words as they reached the door. "We both know he'll find trouble to get into even if stuck in bed. " She informed, A attempt to lighten things a bit.

Should they knock? It would be rude to barge in, But also if he was asleep knocking would wake him up. In the end Caroline decided to simply just open the door. Nudging it open, Inside she could tell Silas was still asleep. His cheetah lazing next to him. The sheets still red from earlier and Caroline winced at the sight of the bandages on his back. Caroline considered just closing the door and leaving Silas to rest. But the smell of food had roused his cheetah. The animal sitting up and her movement enough to stir Silas.

So, Caroline walked into the room. Gesturing for Arthur to follow as she walked in. "Hey... We brought you breakfast. " She spoke, Her eyes moving to his injury. Unsure if she should address such or not. In the end, She chose not too. Sitting down on the edge of Silas's bed. Who grinned at her. "Breakfast in bed? Well, Aren't I special? " He mumbled tiredly. Beginning to try and sit up. Which was difficult, But whatever the medic had used had helped numb much of the pain. Yet Silas still found himself wincing. But he managed. He could feel Caroline's sympathetic eyes on him. But he did his best to ignore it. Instead focusing on his cheetah, Which made a small chirp. Hopping off the bed and began prowling towards Arthur. Clearly expecting to be given its own meal.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Silas would find trouble one way or another, maybe by tormenting a servant or guard? Or perhaps more accurately, Arthur. Silas had been well behaved in his absence though, asleep and out of it. Things didn’t stay that way though as they unwittingly disturbed him. Arthur smiled gently as Silas managed to speak light heartedly, even managed to sit up although it looked painful. Arthur’s attention was soon taken by the cheetah though and he tensed slightly as it approached him. He was less nervous around her now, she’d not killed him yet but he’d never fed her so he hoped she stayed nice. Arthur picked up a plate and placed it gently in front of the cat before moving towards the bed as well and setting the tray down next to Silas.

“Special? Especially annoying” Arthur teased as he picked up his own plate. Now that the food was in front of him, he was quite hungry. Silas had managed to sit up, surely he’d be able to feed himself right? His body might ache though, Arthur thought offering to feed him might be a bit weird though and maybe slightly too protective. Silas wasn’t suddenly incapable of everything! “I’m pretty sure you drooled on me earlier” he murmured after swallowing his bite of food, his eyes were sparkling though in jest, to be honest who could tell if Silas had drooled or not through all the blood!

”dream about anything nice?” He asked, Silas probably hadn’t if they were being honest but maybe Arthur being there had made things a bit less bleak. ”I know you didn’t get long to sleep though, sorry about that” he murmured. “To be honest, I thought we better hurry to you in case your pet grew a bit too hungry and decided to have you for breakfast” well, it had been a possibility! He didn’t know the animal that well, but so far it had only seemed to show concern and affection for the prince.

 

[Officer Newt]

The Cheetah wasted no time in dashing to the plate as soon as it was on the floor, And well... She certainly got to making a mess of her food. Dragging it off of the plate to eat. Atleast her focus seemed to be on her own food. Meanwhile her master was a little less eager to eat. Probable the events of the morning had ruined his apatite. But he did take a few small bites of his own food before focusing on Arthur. Rolling his eyes and teasing. "Oh, You know you love my company. " He played. He then further teased. "I don't think you want to know about my dreams. " He figured he might be able to draw a blush out of Arthur!

His eyes then moved to the large cat. Who had by now settled in the corner to eat. Occasional growls, meows, And chirps coming from her. He then informed Arthur. "I don't think you need to be that worried. While, She no doubt probable considered it. She's a fairly lazy animal. " The blood might have been tempting. But taking down Silas would still be a decent bit of work and Silas figured the cat didn't want to put in that much effort. Caroline still found herself saying. "You know.... It might be worth considering having her sleep somewhere else while you heal. " Better safe then sorry. But Caroline could already tell Silas wasn't eager to agree.

He then told Caroline. "She's always slept in my room, Where else would she sleep? Besides, Cheetah's are wimps. " Which might be true enough. A adult man likely was not something they wanted to tussle with. But a severely injured man? That was a different story. Yet one could see this wasn't something he was going to budge on. Silas adored his Cheetah. So Caroline frowned before suggesting. "Then... Maybe you should have someone stay in here to stand guard? Specifically at night? " There were plenty of guards about, As well as the knights. He could grab any one of them. But... The guards worked for Rayner, And Silas hadn't had the best relationship with most of the knights.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Well at least someone had an appetite, if Silas didn’t finish his meal then his cheetah might decide to finish it for him. He ate a little though which made Arthur feel better. And okay yes, he did enjoy Silas’ company but he still rolled his eyes, couldn’t let him think he was that soft on him! “Yeah your probably right” he muttered, Silas’ dreams were probably more than Arthur would be able to handle so best for him to keep them to himself. Besides, they were no doubt inappropriate for polite company, and his sister!

Caroline also seemed worried about the cheetah but she was his pet, he cared about her and didn’t seem to Want her to leave his side. It could be dangerous though, Silas really wouldn’t be able to put up much of a fight and all that blood might drive her a little wild. He supposed the cheetah could always sleep with him and Caroline, but he wasn’t sure if either of them would be comfortable with that, and well, if the cheetah decided she didn’t like that plan either then they might be attacked so yeah, maybe not. Caroline was instead suggesting someone stay with Silas and he lifted his eyes from his plate to look at the cheetah thoughtfully.

”I guess I could stay” he volunteered, not really any hesitation. It just felt natural to offer. “I mean…if you don’t mind.” He said, looking towards Caroline, hopefully she didn’t see this as him abandoning her, but he guessed Silas also had to agree. “I seem to have trouble getting back to our room at night anyway” he joked gently. The last two nights had been spent with Silas, what were a few more? And it might ease some of his worry if he could keep an eye on him. “it won’t be for that long anyway, because you’re going to listen to the doctor’s orders and heal in no time aren’t you Silas?” He said pointedly with a look at the other prince. Yeah, he could try and restrict the trouble and damage Silas got into. “Unless you’d rather me not. I can ask around the knights? Might be better if I ask some of the ones that came with me and Caroline though. They know you less, might actually agree then” and he was teasing slightly but it was also true, most of the knights that had travelled with Silas didn’t seem to like him.

 

[Officer Newt]

Silas was just about ready to argue that he didn't need a babysitter, When Arthur spoke up and it certainly made Silas falter. Arthur almost seemed eager to stay with Silas. Would Arthur sleep on the floor? Or would he be sharing a bed again with Silas? For some reason the entire idea made Silas feel his face heat up. Arthur really knew how to get under his skin these days! He tried to rid himself of any dirty thoughts. Instead teasingly saying. "Well, I suppose if I have to choose you are the most tolerable option. " Speaking of, Arthur wasn't the only one that knew of his abuse. Galehaut had witnessed things and it was a thought that made him a bit uncomfortable. If Silas came across him again would he bring it up? That might be awkward, But Silas figured questions should be expected.

Silas tried not to think to much on that. Instead saying. "I... Thanks. " He didn't want to leave his big cat. She was a constant companion to him. His gaze though then moved to Caroline. Asking. "Are you alright with me borrowing your husband for a while? " Arthur and Caroline weren't really in love. But Caroline might still want Arthur at her side. Except she was soon brushing off his concern. Saying. "I'm not going to complain about getting a bed to myself. Besides, I don't think I'd be able to get much sleep if I was stuck worrying about you all night. " She had gotten used to Arthur's cuddling. But she'd be alright on her own. It was worth it knowing that Silas was safe.

So it seemed things were settled, Silas and Arthur would be sharing a room. Surely the two of them couldn't get into too much trouble. Silas then found himself chuckling. "Oh, Gawain's going to have a fit. " He mumbled. Gawain was probable going to be annoyed enough with Silas over dragging Arthur off. Now this? Hopefully he'd keep his mouth shut. But Silas had found Gawain to be rather vocal in his distrust of Silas. His words caused Caroline to raise her eyebrow. Of course she had heard rumor that Gawain didn't like Silas. Silas's words seemed to confirm that. So she couldn't help but ask. "What did you do to Gawain? " Because Silas did had a way of getting under peoples skins. Silas's expression seemed to become one of annoyance. "Surprisingly nothing. I... Believe he blames me, Or well... Our people over what happened to his sister. " He might have calmed a bit during the journey, But Silas had a feeling that anger was still there. He then continued. "He... I think he thought I was trying to sabotage his attempts to rescue Gaheris. I wasn't, You know how the snow out here is. The d*mn man cant just march threw it during every storm. You have to take shelter at times, Go paths that seem longer yet are safer. " Silas had a feeling Gawain knew that. He was a experienced knight. Had been on many adventures. He probable just wanted someone to blame, To take his anger out on. The men who had actually captured Gaheris had gotten away so he couldn't exactly target them.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Silas had a big beautiful bed, would he really make Arthur sleep on the floor? That seemed a bit cruel, especially since Arthur was doing him a favour. No, they’d probably be sharing the bed and well….Silas had already experienced Arthur’s cuddling, but maybe he thought that was a consequence of him being drunk. Arthur might hold off though so as not to hurt Silas through any unnecessary touching or pressure on his back. Caroline wasn’t against the idea of Arthur keeping him company either which was good. Arthur might need to store some of his clothes in Silas’ room after all then, like he’d suggested before.

Arthur arched an eyebrow as Silas brought up Gawain. He knew the two didn’t get on and that Gawain didn’t trust Silas, had tried to warn Arthur off him but he’d not really understood why they were at such odds. Stress and worry seemed too be the root cause. Gawain had been desperate to get to Gaheris and he’d needed someone to have a go at to make him feel better, and he’d not necessarily believed they were going to make it in time. But they had rescued Gaheris so Silas had pulled through, Gawain should really be more thankful.

“He told me not to trust you” Arthur admitted, Gawain had already tried to warn Arthur about spending time with Silas. “Which is of course ridiculous” then again, Gawain had warned Arthur about Morgan and he hadn’t listened, but Gawain didn’t know Silas like he knew his mother. “I mean, you might take me somewhere unsavoury, or sometimes say rude things, but I do trust you” he confessed. “You were there for me when I needed you” he’d helped Arthur through his panic attack, made sure he stayed safe in town and they’d had quite a few heart to hearts really. “I did try to tell Gawain to be nicer but I don’t think I got through. I would have at least thought he’d be gentler since he has experience with a cruel parent himself” well, both parents really but Gawain had thought Silas deserved what he got, he just wasn’t sure if Gawain knew the suffering Silas went through. For the sake of his trust in Gawain, he chose to believe he didn’t know.

 

[Officer Newt]

Silas wasn't surprised at all to hear that Gawain had confronted Arthur about Silas. The man seemed set on hating Silas. But what did surprise him was Arthur saying he trusted him. That... Wasn't something he expected. It was nice to hear. Gawain was someone who had suffered threw abuse. Knew it very well, And while he might not know the full extent of what was going on with Silas. He likely could figure out atleast some of it. Silas then murmured. "I'm not the only one he's against, He hates Lance. " Probable more then he hated Silas. But Lance was more able to defend himself. Gawain knew that very well.

Caroline was certainly surprised to hear that. But it made sense. The brothers probable blamed him over what happened to Gareth. Silas was then sighing and murmured. "He's not rational at all. I get he's grieving but eventually he needs to realize me and Lance aren't to blame. " But, This wasn't just losing siblings to the family. Gawain had raised Gwen and Gareth. It was more like losing ones children and that wasn't something easily recovered from. If one could ever recover.

Atleast being stuck in his room ment he probable wouldn't run into Gawain anytime soon. Arthur might find himself spending more time with Gawain though. The man had mentioned trying to find some work for them to do. But... Would king Rayner approve of Arthur leaving for such? Gawain was a respected knight and had a lot of sway. But Arthur was also sort of grounded. They'd just have to see. Caroline then asked. "Do you know when he'll be leaving the castle and going back home? " He probable wanted to return to his siblings soon. But it seemed Silas didn't have a answer. Shaking his head, He then said. "I'm not sure, I imagine he won't go until the snow melts. " Gawain of course wanted to return to his brothers. But he had a baby to think about. It could take a while before he felt safe enough to travel with her!

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Arthur pressed his lips together as Silas said Gawain hated Lance, yeah, Gaheris had made it clear the family’s stance on Lance, still…he had hoped that maybe Gawain was more sensible but he understood that grief was powerful and anger was easy. It seemed that friendship had been firmly ended. He was srill friendly to Arthur though, not that he really had much reason not to be, besides Morgan, okay that was a big reason but Gawain recognised that he was a victim, funny that he didn’t extend such sympathy to Silas though. And well, Arthur would not be at all happy if Rayner stopped him from going on a quest with Gawain but there were obviously logistical problems such as the fact that he was grounded and Arthur might get hurt.

“I don’t think any of the men will be eager to travel back through the snow” Arthur agreed, especially not when they could choose the comforts of a palace. But Gawain wasn’t the only one with a family snd they’d want to get home eventually. “They might wait for all of to return” Arthur murmured. “Safety in numbers and the company of more friends” he explained except that was a long time to wait so he wasn’t sure. “Oh“ Arthur murmured, putting his empty plate back on the tray as he remembered his conversation with Gawain and he looked at Caroline slightly sheepishly. “I volunteered us for babysitting if he needed it“ he revealed which he was sure Caroline was going to be thrilled by. ”it’ll be good practice” he supplied immediately, hoping she wasn’t too upset with him over the matter.

“baby theo really is very cute” he promised, although he wasn’t sure Caroline cared, babies didn’t seem to be something she was very comfortable with; all the more reason for them to babysit her! “It probably won’t be much different than looking after Silas, just smaller. You know, whiny, fussy, wanting our attention“ he teased although He realised he was making it sound not very nice. “She’ll probably sleep most of the time anyway, and she’s not old enough to run off somewhere and get lost“ Still might be stressful though, they didn’t want to upset Gawain. At least with their own child they didn’t have to worry about looking after them in a way different than the parents expected, although they would have the eyes of the kingdom and his own parents on them.

And that topic had reminded him of something. He reached a hand out to squeeze Caroline’s hand and offer her a smile, although it was apologetic. “And since I’ve already no doubt upset you with that news, I might as well dive fully in” he decided, which was obviously a harbinger of bad things. He turned to Silas, hand still gripping Caroline’s. “So who’s this boy in the castle Caroline had a crush on?” What? He’d like to know! He was her husband and she hadn’t really seemed like she wanted to tell him but he couldn’t help himself, he was curious. Silas might not even know and hopefully he hadn’t upset Caroline too much but the three of them together was bound to be at least a little chaotic. Let’s hope the siblings didn’t gang up on Arthur next though!

 

[Officer Newt]

Gawain would likely be a thorn in Silas's side for some time. But it seemed Silas wasn't the only one to be miserable! Because Caroline looked completely horrified at Arthur's next words. Which was probable a bit dramatic. "You did what?!" She squeaked. She didn't know how to take care of a kid! This wasn't even a complete kid, It was a baby. That had to be harder then a normal kid! Sure, She wouldn't be on her own with the baby. Arthur would be there, As would her ladies. And she should probable learn. And Arthur just had to make everything so much worse, Because he just had to bring up her crush. Caroline couldn't help but find herself glaring at her husband. Her stare made worse as she heard Silas burst out laughing. Clearly amused by this entire spectacle.

Briefly Silas considered showing his sister some mercy, To keep things quiet. But then Caroline shot her glare towards him. Hissing. "Don't you dare. " And well... Now Silas just had to tell, Didn't he? Cooing. "Crush... You must be talking about that old servant boy, Oh... What was his name? " Silas hummed in thought for a moment, Before soon breaking out into a grin. "I remember! Bryce! Caroline used to follow him around like a puppy. " Silas teased and Caroline was soon rather red in embarrassment.

Silas then asked Caroline. "Have you gone and talked to him yet? I'm sure he missed you. " He played. But Caroline didn't take the bait. Simply narrowed her eyes at her brother. Flopping back onto the bed. Nose wrinkled as she complained. "I don't think this is appropriate conversation to be having with my brother and my husband. " She pointed out. Though she could hardly argue that to much. Arthur was aware of her relationship with Lance after all, And Silas? Well, He knew well enough that Arthur and Caroline weren't in love. Even if he didn't know about the affair.

Silas seemed amused before looking at Arthur. Telling him. "I'll ask around and see if I can find him, I'd sure you'd love to meet him. " That would be a awkward meeting. But it would provide fun to tease Caroline with, So Silas was perfectly happy to try and arrange such a meeting. Caroline considered arguing. Though, Knowing Silas that might only encourage him more.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Arthur was really getting into Caroline’s good books today. She was maybe overreacting a little about the babysitting but he glare for asking about her crush was certainly justified. At least Silas seemed happy because he was laughing at the situation. Arthur did feel slightly bad but he was sure Caroline would get over it, right? At least he didn’t mention what he planned to do with this information to Silas because that would surely mortifying her. He just thought that maybe she was feeling w bit lonely with Lance gone, she might want some more intimate company and well, now that she was pregnant, there couldn’t really be a better time!

So whilst Arthur did feel bad, he couldn’t help but grin slightly as Silas started to reveal what he knew. Bryce? Well that was a good start. The image of Caroline following him around like a puppy was certainly cute and he couldn’t help but grin. It maybe was a bit of an odd choice of conversation for her brother and husband as she said but they both seemed to be enjoying it, even if she wasn’t. “Oh I would love to meet him” Arthur agreed. “Is he handsome? I’d Like to know how I fare against the competition” he mused, although they weren’t really in Competition, Caroline and Arthur weren’t in love and he wasn’t going to fight anyone for her romantic attention and at the same time he was married to her so whatever competition there ever was, he’d already won. And poor Caroline, she was probably regretting marrying him now, but it’s not like she could divorce him.

Arthur leaned over the flopped Caroline a little and smiled gently at her. “There’s no need to be embarrassed Caroline, everyone gets crushes, some more crazy than others” he promised her. “I’m sure Silas has had his fair share of cringey crushes.“ and he glanced towards the man. “Okay, maybe Silas was the wrong person to pick since he has no shame but you get my point“ maybe Silas had had crushes he was embarrassed about, he’d be happy for Caroline to share them, but aside from that Silas had definitely had crushes not doubt embarrassing to over people, like Arthur had not been too happy with his attention to Alexander. Caroline might know some embarrassing stuff about Silas though and Arthur would be more than happy for her to share it; she might be feeling vengeful.

“besides, I like knowing things about you“ Arthur admittedly softly, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead, although maybe Caroline wouldn’t be too receptive to it. “And you can share anything with me” he promised. They really should have no secrets between them, but, out of the two of them Arthur definitely believed he was the most dishonest. He’d been lying to her since day one and had certainly not told her about any of his crushes. He didn’t like being a hypocrite but what he said was true, he enjoyed learning things about his wife and he would always be there for her if she wanted to tell him something.

 

[Officer Newt]

Poor Caroline, It seemed both Silas and Arthur intended to tease her mercilessly. She had no intentions of answering Arthur's questions though! Luckily Silas was there to muse. "Oh he's very handsome. Isn't that right Caroline? " Bryce hadn't really been Silas's type. But Silas could understand the appeal. Caroline did make her disapproval known with a small huff. Glaring up at Arthur and pouting as he leaned over. Gaze flickering over to Silas who gave her a lazy smile. Yeah, Silas had no shame. Caroline could think of a few old crushes he had. But knowing Silas he'd probable see them less as embarrassing and more as a badge of honor. Her gaze then was moving back up to Arthur and well. She couldn't help but find her cheeks turning red and she attempted to hide her face a little with her hand. Gosh, It was hard to stay mad at Arthur when he was being all sweet.

She then squeaked. "I don't see you telling me about any of your embarrassing crushes! " She pointed out, Looking at him expectantly. Silas luckily was coming to Arthur's rescue. Knew very well the man probable wasn't ready to talk about this. So he then told Arthur. "You remember that jerk from the party? Conner? I slept with his wife once. " See, He was a expert at changing topics! It certainly got Caroline's attention who looked at him with wide eyes. Seemed she had a idea of who Silas was referring to.

Caroline thus was hissing. "What?" Her tone clearly not pleased. But Silas grinned. Waving her concerns off. "Please, That poor woman deserved some fun. Having to deal with that man all the time! " Silas then rolled his eyes. He then told Caroline. "But I'm certain Arthur made best friends with him last night, Him and Tiffany! " He snickered. Those two had been a pain in the neck. Hopefully they wouldn't encounter them again for a good while.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Arthur couldn’t help his grin as Silas teased Caroline but it wasn’t mean hearted, they were just ribbing. He’d never had a sibling to tease, the closest he’d got were the other knights and they were really the only friends he’d made as well and well, they were the teasing sort of course so it was something sort of friendly and familiar. Caroline didn’t seem to be enjoying it too much however, even though Arthur was sure she got regular teasing from Silas. He couldn’t help but smile at her pout, finding it cute and the way she covered her face? His cheeks were going to hurt if he smiled anymore fondly at her.

Caroline was making a fair enough inquiry. Arthur had not told her about any embarrassing crushes. Was knowing about Morgan not embarrassing enough? But Arthur hadn’t actually had a crush on her. No….he wasn’t ready to talk to Caroline about his crushes, although he figured they’d all count as embarrassing, just because of the awkwardness and futility of them. Maybe one day, Silas had tried to encourage him yesterday but this was too soon, too much. His mouth did part slightly though, as if debating it but Silas was there to swoop in and rescue him. Oh, his hero!

Arthur’s gaze snapped to Silas at the confession. “I knew it” he couldn’t help but exclaim, covering his mouth in embarrassment after blurting it out. “Sorry. Just, when you were talking to him….I got this feeling. At first I thought maybe I was thinking too lowly of you but now I’ve decided that it’s actually rather funny” he revealed. And okay, affairs were no laughing matter but Caroline had had one, he’d had a few, if they couldn’t find it funny then who would? “Goodness they were nasty” he muttered, leaning back so that he wasn’t crowding Caroline anymore. “People back home would never dare talk like that … okay except maybe my mother” see, he was willing to admit that not everything was super polite back home. “I’m glad we didn’t stick around to hear any more from them, or chat to anyone worse“ he said. “I don’t think I could be held responsible for my actions if i had to listen to a whole night of people calling me a barbarian and badmouthing my family and kingdom” He understood that words were the weapons here but he didn’t have To like it. “Then again, I don’t think their opinion of me could be any worse so it probably wouldn’t matter what I do“ He‘d had the odds stacked against him since before this ordeal with Morgan, they thought he was a bloodthirsty brute from a warmongering nation. “No, I much preferred meeting your friends Caroline, even if I’m sure they had plenty of invasive questions about us they were dying to ask” he said with a slightly raised eyebrow. They hadn’t actually voiced any of them in front of Arthur, well, Sofia almost revealed what they’d been talking about but been swiftly dealt a kick instead. He’d heard all sorts of stories from the knights so he wasn’t exactly a stranger to intimate details being aired but its Not like he participated. He wondered if Caroline had actually told them anything, besides the fact that she’d called him pretty, which had been nice admittedly.

 

[Officer Newt]

Silas was actually a bit startled by Arthur's sudden exclamation. Before amusement settled on his face. Caroline couldn't help but cut in. "Arthur, I don't think its possible to think too lowly of Silas. " She played. And ouch, Silas didn't get around that much! Well... Not anymore. He just liked to have fun. Was that so bad? Silas then grinned at Arthur, Telling him. "Just be glad the only things they know about you have already been made public. " Secrets were what made them dangerous. Right now they were simply a annoyance. As long as Arthur was careful with his words around them. He'd be fine. But if they got any dirt they could use on him? Then things might be a different game.

His attention then moved to his sister who blushed a bit. Saying. "Don't worry, I managed to mostly fend off Sofia's questions. " Because yes. There were some things they had been curious about. None of which she planned to reveal to her husband. Caroline then looked apologetically at Arthur. Saying. "I'm sorry I didn't join you during the party. " She had been sick much of the day yesterday and well... She wasn't sure she would have been able to handle the party. It was a good thing Silas had been willing to join Arthur. Though she couldn't say she approved of them ditching the party!

Silas seemed more sympathetic at that. Telling Caroline. "It was better you weren't there. The guests would have just harassed you too. And unlike us, You wouldn't be able to just get drunk as to ignore them. " Besides, Weren't pregnant women supposed to avoid stress? Silas felt like that was a thing. Speaking of, His gaze moved to Caroline's plate. She hadn't eaten much of her food. And he thus asked. "Have you still been feeling sick? " And maybe it was difficult for him not to sound worried. She was his little sister! How could he not worry? She though waved off his concern. "I'm alright, Better then yesterday. " She promised.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Oh Arthur thought it was possibly to think too lowly of Silas, but yeah, maybe not in the case of sleeping around. He supposed Silas was right, they didn’t know any of his secrets which made him feel better but the mention of them did stress him out a little. He couldn’t afford to be too reckless with his words in case he revealed anything or someone was as perceptive as Silas. Except he doubted any of them would spend as much time with him to figure something out as Silas had.

His eyebrow arched slightly higher as she admitted that Sofia had been curious but didn’t tell him Anything. Oh he was curious, these were questions that involved him after all, but he also knew he’d be blushing if Caroline revealed anything. Arthur wondered if she’d joined them at the party, if they would’ve stayed. Probably, he wouldn’t have wanted to ditch her but Silas was right, she would’ve just been subjected to unnecessary cruelty with no escape. It had been good for her to avoid the party. Arthur smiled gently at her. ”that’s okay” he insisted, there’d be other parties anyway probably.

Arthur let his gaze drift to Silas as he heard the concern in his voice. Silas might be troublesome, sometimes a bit of a lowlife, rude and opinionated but he certainly cared for his sister. “Maybe you should talk to the medic” Arthur suggested gently. “He might have something to make you feel better” like some sort of supplement or drink. “And you should try to eat as much as you can” he added, she’d barely touched her plate, unlike Arthur who had completely finished his. He understood she felt a bit sick but she had to keep her energy up and not eating might just make her feel more ill. “If you are sick, I’ll hold your hair for you” Arthur offered, although considering he’d be keeping an eye on Silas at night, he might not be much use whilst she had morning sickness, although not everyone had sickness just in the morning. He didn’t know how else to help really, he’d rub her back if she wanted, get her water, just keep her company, but it might be difficult to split his time between the two siblings, especially in the mornings. And oh, now he was starting to worry. He hoped she be alright with him gone, not too lonely or too sad and distressed withheld sickness and no him.

 

[Officer Newt]

It seemed both Silas and Arthur were soon fretting over Caroline. Which was sweet. But Caroline soon shook her head at Arthur. Promising. "I have been, And my ladies have been there. I'm alright. " She assured. There were plenty of people fussing over her. Arthur and Silas didn't need to worry. She then confessed to Arthur. "I doubt I could keep anymore down. I've been sick since yesterday. " She figured it best not to push things! Though Silas hadn't seemed to be reassured at all by her words. Suddenly suggesting. "You know, If you want you could stay in here with me and Arthur tonight. My bed is big enough, Especially if we make Arthur sleep on the floor. " The last part he said jokingly. But the offer was a real one. She might not want to be alone and it wasn't as if Caroline hadn't ever spent the night in Silas's room before. Silas and her had often kept eachother company when they were small. But Caroline soon shook her head. Telling him. "Don't worry so much. Besides, I might go and hang out with my ladies tonight. " She was used to their company and it had been a while since she'd shared a room with them. It would be nice to hang out with them.

---

Meanwhile at the castle, Gavin was... Well, On edge. The kiss had been something stuck in her mind. Emotional and confusing and as much as she tried to forget it happened, Well... It lingered. Normally Gavin would have been in the throne room, Plotting ways to hinder her mother. Or maybe daydreaming about ways to get revenge on Lance, And maybe she was daydreaming about Lance a bit. But not in the way she'd preferred. No, The mere thoughts had her cheeks red. How annoying.

Maybe she had been going a bit stir crazy from so long in the castle? So, Gavin had figured some fresh air would do her some good. Clear her head. So, She'd gone outside, Not far of course. She couldn't leave the castle grounds. But the castle had a fine courtyard to stroll threw. Though Gavin had chosen a more familiar activity. Observing the knights in training. She'd often watched her brothers spar when she was young. Something she had found thrilling. Of course she had never been allowed to pick up a blade herself. Perhaps had she been able to she'd have adored sparring. But it was not to be her sport. No, Gavin's methods involved honeyed words and moves from the shadows. She did not get to fight in the light like her brothers.

Her mind had drifted back to Lance, Her fight with him wasn't the least bit noble. But he didn't deserve nobility! He was a animal. A animal that had hurt her brother. She just needed to keep reminding herself of that. Eventually she could make the words feel truer. Except things suddenly became a lot harder. A passing voice of a knight in conversation with another man. Something Gavin barely took notice of. If not for his words. Idly mentioning that he thought he'd spotted Lance and Caleb arriving at the castle, And well... Alarm bells went off. Because frankly, Gavin did not even know how she'd begin to deal with the tangle of emotions in her chest. Hiding wasn't the most dignified option. And she wasn't really hiding, But if Lance had arrived, The training grounds would no doubt be his destination. So, Best to leave before he arrived! Thus she was spinning around as to hurry inside.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Oh didn't Gavin know that you couldn’t escape from destiny? And well destiny definitely had a funny sense of humour because as she went to go scurrying inside, Lance and Caleb were making their way outside. Lance was busy chatting to Caleb, head turned to talk to her. “You’ve got nothing to worry ab-“ he was saying when he collided with Gavin. It was just typical that they’d meet again like that, no dignity involved. Lance stopped and turned to face who he’d bumped into and sort of froze. Uh.… what Was his reaction supposed to be? He guessed they were still at odds but it was more awkward now and he eas a bit unsure about the whole thing.

Gavin wasn’t the only one who’d been thinking about it. Lance was confused and tempted. He hadn’t managed to talk to Caleb about it, too focused on Christopher, but he would like someone to discuss it with just so he knew he wasn’t going crazy and maybe so someone could shake him out of thinking about it by reminding him of all the reasons they should stay away from each other. But….she’d been responsive to him and he bet she was lonely, he was too if he was being honest, he missed Caroline but knew he needed to get over her. Gavin really shouldn’t be the one to help him though. Maybe Caleb would sense the tension between them, but she’d not really been with Lance around women he’d dated or was interested in so she might put the tension down as them not liking each other, which some of it would be.

”Gavin” Lance greeted, he would be civil. He didn’t hate Gavin, he hated that she’d taken his father but he also knew that she was in pain. He did his best to keep his voice neutral, even slightly detached but his mind was whirring and that kiss was replaying in his head. And oh, maybe they should talk. “You might find Gaheris around the castle quite often” he told her, he figured he might as well at least try and help the boy from going completely off the rails. “You should talk to him whenever he comes by, he could do with some family” he said but well, Gavin might not appreciate his instructions and might tell Lance that was his fault for taking away some of his family. “Hopefully you’re stronger than his troubles” Lance murmured, an echo of what he’d said after their kiss and okay maybe he wanted to see her reaction, see if she was still thinking about that kiss.

 

[Officer Newt]

Gavin probable should have been far more aware of what was going on around her. But the woman had simply been focused on escaping. Thus she didn't get far before she felt something bump right into her. Nearly knocking her down. Luckily she managed to keep her balance. Just in time to hear a familiar voice that quickly drew her attention. Causing the young woman to falter and snap her gaze. Ah Lance. Caleb was standing next to him, Her eyes narrowed and clearly wary of Gavin. But Gavin couldn't bring herself to pay much attention to her. No, Her eyes were on Lance and he was talking. Gavin was normally far more smoother with such things. But her muddled emotions were difficult and she sort of just stood there. Uncertain as to what exactly to do.

Her cheeks betrayed her emotions more then she'd like, Flushing as Lance hinted towards their previous exchange. Causing Gavin to avert her eyes. Saying. "I... Have already spoken to him a bit. But not as much as I'd like. " She'd previously met with her brother. As well as had been there for his knighting. But sadly that had been the extent of there interactions. Gavin and him probable had a lot to discuss. Gavin then a bit awkwardly gestured away. Taking a few steps back and telling the two. "I should probable head back inside, Talk to the king or something! " Great, Yeah. She was totally coming off as composed and normal. Not. Caleb of course took this as Gavin simply being afraid of Lance. Considering what she'd done to his father she had plenty of reason to be afraid. Except Gavin's next statement was a bit more confusing.

"Do you uh... Wanna join me Lance? "
Gavin didn't know why she said that. And as soon as it was out of her mouth she was mentally scolding herself. She needed to get herself together! Caleb was certainly confused. Glancing behind them as if to see if she might be talking to someone else. Nope, No one. Perhaps this was a attempt to drag Lance away. Maybe to poison him? Or simply inform him of all the ways she hated him. So, Caleb cut in. "I believe Lance was actually planning to get some sparring done. Right Lance? " Caleb figured it best to keep things polite for the moment. Though Lance may want to tell Gavin off himself. Caleb figured she'd offer the chance for him to escape. Or maybe he'd take Gavin up on her offer. He no doubt probable would want to express his own hatred of her. She'd kidnapped his father after all!

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Lance and Gavin’s meeting so far was more awkward than venomous. Caleb was probably being far more sensible than Lance because she was more wary of Gavin whereas Lance was curious. He couldn’t help but smile slightly as Gavin blushed although he did try to hide it somewhat, didn’t want her to think he was taunting her and have her stab him or something, or have Caleb accuse him of provoking her. Her blush was telling evidence that she was at least thinking about it a little though and maybe Lance shouldn’t be happy about that but he was. Lance was apparently self destructive, interested in people bad for his health it seemed.

So far they had managed to keep things civil although Lance wasn’t sure how long that would last. It was Gavin’s turn to catch him off guard though because she was inviting him along with her and he blinked in surprise. Caleb was quick to jump in and offer him an out. A sensible man would take it. But Lance had had enough of being sensible lately so he was soon speaking up. “Actually I do have some things I‘d like to discuss” Lance said, eyes trained on Gavin before adding “with the king” as an afterthought although Gavin could no doubt tell that bit wasn’t really true. “Go on without me, I’ll catch up in a bit” he promised Caleb, having to drag his eyes away from Gavin to look at her and give her a reassuring smile. Most people didn’t really want to get involved in the spat between Lance and the siblings so they might be left alone, but Caleb might be worried about him.

Lance’s brain was screaming at him as he turned around to leave Caleb and go with Gavin. What was he doing? She hated him, wanted him to pay, to suffer, wanted to kill him really and here he was going off alone with her. Why? Because he was curious about the fact that she’d kissed him? This might be what she wanted, to lower his defences so that she could hurt him! So what if that kiss had been full of sparks and he hadn’t really been able to get her out of his head, and he felt like his mind was going crazy. He turned to Gavin once they were alone, foolishly alone. Well, how was this going to go? Was she going to attack him? Snap at him? Or kiss him again? Lance wasn’t sure but he figured he’d break the tension. “Talk to the king or something?“ He teased gently. “I guess i’m something“ he mused. The question was what could he say though, would she get angry with him if he played too much, she might not like him being friendly, and it didn’t feel right to be overly familiar with her. He might’ve made the first move and kissed her as soon as they were out of sight from anyone else but he wasn’t sure she’d be receptive to that and it was awarding forward and presumptuous. “It’s cute you’ve been thinking about me by the way” he added with a cocky grin.

 

[Officer Newt]

Both Caleb and Gavin were surprised by Lance's agreement. Caleb perhaps less so as she figured Lance might want to express his anger with Gavin. That didn't mean she approved of them going off alone. But luckily she didn't try to intervene. Simply observed worriedly before they went threw a door and out of her sight. Meanwhile Gavin was simply startled. But she had simply nodded her head in agreement before leading the way. Why was she doing this? This was so stupid! Lance was the enemy! Her thoughts were interrupted by Lances voice. Oh she was blushing far to much at Lance's words. Flirting. It wasn't as if she was unused to it. Sure, Her and her husband hadn't really flirted with each other. But plenty of men attempted to flirt with her. though few she found herself attracted to. Not that she was attracted to Lance! He was horrible!

Gavin then found herself saying, Though it came out a bit more like a squeak. "I haven't been thinking about you. " Yeah, Lance was totally going to believe that lie. Especially when she averted her eyes and looked completely embarrassed. Lance was right, She had thought about him a lot. It was strange. Why had he let her kiss him? Why had he comforted her? Why had she actually found is presence comforting. Gavin didn't understand why. Why had she missed him?

Gavin needed to cut this off, Explain to him that she hated him. So she began. "I don't know why I kissed you. But I shouldn't have let that happen. " She explained. Gaining a bit more composure in her voice. Bringing her gaze back to him, Except that was a mistake and she perhaps lost some of the composure that she had gained. "It was nice, But it can't-" And she found herself faltering. Great. She just had to admit she had liked the kiss. She wasn't used to making this many mistakes. Normally she was far more calm and collected. Right now, Nope. Her heart was racing, She was flustered, And she truly had little idea as to what to do.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Gavin was tripping over her words and she seemed a bit of a mess whereas Lance managed to keep his composure a bit better. Maybe it was all that swagger he had keeping him calm, teasing and flirting was what he was used to, he’d even had this sort of interaction with …not exactly enemies but adversaries before so he was on more familiar ground than her. Seeing her blush only encouraged him further and made him feel slightly more sure that she wasn’t going to hit him or shout his ear off. They probably shouldn’t have kissed, that much was true, but they had and now she had to deal with Lance’s smugness.

A wide grin split his face as she admitted that she had enjoyed it. “It was nice wasn’t it” he agreed, letting his voice drop a bit lower, contemplative, and he took a step closer to her. He reached a hand out to grip her chin gently, thumb brushing just under her lip, and going to tilt her face up slightly. “I prefer women not to cry after I kiss them though” he admitted, she had been pretty emotional though and he didn’t blame her, all that frustration and anger had been swept up in her confusion and she’d been able to let her worries spill over in his presence. “Lets try again” he insisted, leaning down and going to press his lips against hers.

His father was going to kill him if he ever found out about this. She was a murderer, a cannibal, a kidnapper, a scheming and manipulative person but she was also passionate and smart and beautiful and like an enigma, there was something about her that he couldn’t really place his finger on, something drawing him to her. So, he kissed her gently but eagerly. He’d had a taste yesterday but as of late he felt like a desert. And Gavin? Hopefully she’d be the rain. Someone to maybe wash away the impressions Caroline had made. He couldn’t focus on the princess, it was dangerous for them both, cruel As well really to offer her something she couldn’t have. Gavin was, funnily enough, more attainable, there were still obstacles in the way but not treason. Fingers crossed Gavin kissed him back rather than pushing him away and slapping him.

 

[Officer Newt]

Lance just had to look all cocky after her confession. It briefly made her consider punching him in his smug pretty face. But any reasonable thought she had was soon interrupted at his touch. She didn't resist. Couldn't bring herself to move. And then his lips were on her and she was still in shock for a moment. But then she was kissing back. Her eyes closing and hands moving to his chest. The realization of how much she had missed his touch taking hold. It wasn't something she understood. It was nice. More gentle then yesterday. But yesterday had been filled with anger and tears. This time it was unsaid affection. Eventually the kiss broke and Gavin found herself a bit disappointed. Staring up at Lance. Expression a bit softer. "Has anyone ever told you your a d*ck? "

Gavin was still close to him. Her hands on his chest. She should push him away. Yell at him and storm off. But she didn't. Her expression thoughtful. What was wrong with her? Lance had hurt her brother. But also... What was wrong with Lance? She had kidnapped his dad! Maybe he was insane? That seemed a reasonable explanation. Or this could be a trick? No, Gavin didn't think such was the case. Lance didn't seem the type to use such methods.

Gavin then murmured gently to Lance, Voice quiet. "Where... Where are you expecting this to go? " Surely he didn't think this could continue? Sure, They both seemed to enjoy the affection. But they were just confused. They couldn't keep doing this, A disappointing thought. Slowly Gavin leaned forward. Head resting against his chest. Craving the touch. Perhaps this was simply loneliness? The falling out with Agravain, Along with the death of her husband had left her feeling isolated. Sure, Gaheris was back. So she had him in her life again. But it didn't fill that void.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Well, it was a relief when Gavin kissed him back. She was like a flower blossoming, tight and enclosed st first before responding and Reaching out. Her hands on his chest were warm and her lips soft but the kiss was over far too soon and she wasn’t the only one missing the contact. He chuckled gently as she spoke to him. “Yeah a few times” he admitted, not usually by a girl he’d just kissed but usually by another knight. Agravain had probably said those words a few times himself, nowhere near as soft as she had though.

Lance had been away a long time, spent in the company of a peculiar woman and a ton of knight, and under a lot of stress, so maybe he was going s little crazy. He was being reckless because he could afford it A bit more and he had certainly missed the company of s lady, save the frantic time he’d spent with Caroline. Gavin really was bad for him though, even if they learnt to get on, neither of their families would approve. It didn’t drop Lance from enjoying the way she leaned against him though.

He looked down at her and ran a hand over her hair as she questioned him. “Why must I expect anything?” Lance replied. “I know you don’t like me, you’ve made that Clear enough. So I guess I’m not expecting anything, except maybe a knife in my ribs” he admitted. “Two kisses doesn’t make a relationship Gavin. What are you expecting? For me to take you on a date? Could I really trust you enough not to poison my food?“ He wasn’t sure, he didn’t think she’d be able to get over her issues with him surrounding Gareth that easily. “At least in this moment I can be relatively sure you’ve Not thought up some plan, that you’re reacting not pre-meditating my murder.” She was dangerous, he had to Remember that. They weren't friends and they weren’t lovers. “But for all I know you’ll be screaming at me again tomorrow so you tell me. Where should I expect this to go?” So far he was quite happy just stealing kisses, he wasn’t even sure he was ready for a new relationship, he loved Caroline but he did have to get over her. They were both lonely though, couldn’t they be lonely together?