Fandom I Just Died in Your Arms (Irradiatedwarden)

[Interstellar Bun]

She eased back a little and, for once, he didn't feel the desire to try and snap at her, to shove her away like he'd do with just about anyone else. Right then, he was almost glad to not be alone. Everything felt fuzzy, like he was in a dream, like any day he would wake up and see those beautiful eyes again, hear that laugh, like all those things he had said would have never passed his lips.


"Why do I feel so bad?" He asked the question more to himself than to Naloru as he lifted his heavy sandbag hands to let them drape on his face, palms digging in to his eyes.


"Why...why do these things happen? Am I truly so terrible?"

 

[HoneyedHopes]

"You feel bad because you've had..." She glanced around room, "thirty bottles of ale." There was no malice in her tone. She wanted to smile as she said, but held back. Were jokes all she could offer?


"It's not like that," she murmured, "Do terrible people look after their friends? Do terrible people take it upon themselves to alert the Jarl of danger?" She stopped herself from reaching out. But tone grew softer. "Do terrible people express anger for other people's sake? Towards his own ruler?" She had never thanked him.

 

[Interstellar Bun]

"Terrible people hurt others."


He wet his lips, tongue running against the rough patches that were there, the skin broken from falling or biting on them. He wasn't sure. He couldn't remember.


His brain felt fuzzy. He wanted to try and respond, wanted to make an argument as to why he deserved to be condemned, but only one thought managed to slip past his tongue.


"And I've hurt you."

 

[HoneyedHopes]

He had. Back when they first met. His words cut enough to make her wither, to make her crumble when no one was watching. She used to hate him for it. Now, she felt fondness where malice once thrived.


"Terrible people aren't redeemable." He knew nothing about terrible people. The mirror she looked at every day had taught her more than he could imagine. This wasn't about her, though.


"You're kind. And if you refuse to forgive yourself, I'll forgive you in your place." She placed a careful hand on top of his. For the first time, she felt like she could break the glass beneath her fingertips. Grim required more care than she had ever given before.


"It's okay," she whispered, "And thank you." Thank you for continuing to live, she thought, a whisper in the silence, blown away by the draft between them.

 

[Interstellar Bun]

He felt like he was drifting away, andi t was her hand on his that tethered him, drawing him back to the world, the room, to her.


Her fingers weren't soft. They were rough from work, stronger than he had thought they might be. She wasn't delicate and he didn't know why he had ever told himself that she was.


But he didn't have the mental strength to think about that just then.


His hand turned, his palm pressing against hers as his own tough fingers wrapped around hers in something of a firm grip.


Her skin still felt so cold compared to his, something that he marveled at as his thumb smoothed across the back of her hand, his other moving so his forearm was draped across his forehead and he could see her.


Well, as well as his destroyed gaze could see anything.


"I didn't used to be like this." His throat bobbed, tensing.


"And I'm sorry."

 

[HoneyedHopes]

Naloru nodded, her smile laced with empathy. "Me neither," she tried to laugh, but the sound caught in her throat. "Funny how time seems to change even how we react to old pain." His thumb ghosted across the back of her palm, and she felt the heat rise in her cheeks. But she didn't pull away. Her legs had grown comfortable to their position, and now that she could see part of Grim's face, she felt reassured. Comfortable. She squeezed his hand in return.


"But," she said, "I think this Grim isn't so terrible, either." If anything, this Grim reminded her of the beauty in weakness. Why had no one taught her that, until now?

 

[Interstellar Bun]

She squeezed his hand and he felt thankful for that little bit of comfort. He didn't move his hand, though his fingers occasionally shifted, adjusting so he could her hand comfortably. If that was the dream, then it was a good one, the first good one he had experienced in some time.


Sobriety was starting to creep up on him, the intensity of his drunken state was fading slowly, his beast blood consuming it as quickly as it always did.


He managed a weak chuckle at her words, swollen eyes shutting.


He had meant to say that he didn't deserve that kindness, but the words that slipped from his tongue were different.


"I don't deserve you."

 

[HoneyedHopes]

His chuckle brought out hers as well, though she struggled to swallow the bitterness she felt in her gut. She didn't deserve kindness, either. Yet here he was, broken and in pain, and yet he offered her acceptance. Fate was twisting her around its finger again, wasn't it? Offering her someone once again, only to snatch it away, with more cruelty than the time before.


"You deserve a break. From sadness. Maybe also from ale. As much as I'd hate to deny my best customer." She could tell his was regaining some control of his mind. Which meant the moment was nearly over. She held her breath, and let it out with a whoosh.


"Shall I make you some supper?" She guessed he hadn't eaten in the last few days. And despite his sobriety, she wanted to linger a while longer.

 

[Interstellar Bun]

Best customer. Another chuckle lingered in the air before he heard her final question. Slowly, he nodded.


Food sounded good right then. Actually, food always sounded good, but now that he was slowly reclaiming his mind and knew what was to come, he figured that he should try and take care of that beast before it got a hold of him too.


Slipping his hand from hers, letting his fingertips linger on her skin, Grim very slowly started to sit up like some sort of ancient god that had napped for a bit too long.


"Yeah...I'm going to go get cleaned up and then I'll come help you out some. I'm not a half bad cook, I think."

 

[HoneyedHopes]

Naloru let her hand trail behind his as Grim pulled away, the warm of his skin still hugging hers. She let the sensation dissipate in exchange for helping him off the floor, her hand on his shoulder and forearm. When he was up, she looked over at the kitchen, wincing at the mess she had left. "Yes, I think I'll clean up too. It appears I made a mess when I... came in." Not to mention, she'd left his bread out in the cold. "Shall I start the fire?"


But even as she asked, she knelt over, retrieved a few logs of wood, and struck the flint. The fire flickered, nearly sputtering out, before bursting alive, bright and live. Naloru smiled.


She left Grim to change, and went to sweeping away the pieces of clay, and washing away any splotches of blood her feet had left. Once the window was closed and the dishes put away, she stuck her nose in the barren cabinet, searching for agreeable sustenance.

 

[Interstellar Bun]

Nal wandered off and Grim did as well. Heading down stairs, he stumbled in to his washroom and stripped his old clothes off. They were stiff, smelling of alcohol and salt.


One hot bath later, Grim made himself dry off and dig around his wardrobe until he found clothes that would be impossibly comfortable as well as keep him from looking homeless.


In black trousers and a deep eggplant purple shirt, he stumbled back up to the main floor.


He gathered his still damp hair back absently, tying a small strip of leather around it to hold it in something of a messy, loose bun. Before he even said anything to Nal once he entered the kitchen, he grabbed a large glass, filled it with water, and downed the entire thing.


"Any luck finding anything or do we have to get creative?"

 

[HoneyedHopes]

she looked up with an eyebrow arched. "Cooking with me is always creative." And most often disastrous. "It looks like all you have is an onion, a few potatoes, and an eggplant that might have been the same color of your shirt, if you'd eaten it a week ago." She held it up, her fingers sinking into the overripe flesh. "Also, you have a loaf of bread." At least he wouldn't starve.


She started to stand up straight, brushing the dust from her skirt and apron. "I could always just run back to the inn and grab you some stew. It might be cold by the time I get back, but at least it'd be better than nothing."

 

[Interstellar Bun]

The comment about his shirt made him look down at the fabric.


It wasn't the shade of an eggplant, was it? He couldn't really tell. To say his sense of color was off would be putting it lightly.


"It's not the same color." He sounded very much like a grumpy child when he mumbled the words.


Taking the questionable eggplant she had pointed out, he tossed it into the bin at the end of the counter and rubbed his face with his free hand. Gods he still felt sick.


"I could heat up that bread for us while you go get the stew...if you want to eat with me, of course."

 

[HoneyedHopes]

Her eyes widened. Grim, inviting her to dinner? But, she smiled, the biggest one she'd given him all day.


"I'd love to." She scurried out of the house, as fast as her feet could carry her. She hadn't been invited to dinner with someone since the last time she'd met with her grandmother. The idea tickled, causing her to giggle aloud. The wounds on her feet stung when they met with the sharp grass, but she ignored the pain and the sharp scent of iron. Dinner. Together. What would Bartrand think?


Two bowls in hand, she moved slower back to the cottage, in order to avoid wasting the precious food. All the way, she thanked Nethyn for having cooking skills far beyond her level, and for willingly sharing them with her. She'd closed the inn for the night; most of the miners had an early morning shift and had left anyway. She could relax, for the time being. She could tell Grim needed that, but maybe she did too.


"I'm back!" She called and invited herself in. She found Grim setting the table, complete with the sliced loaf of bread. She offered him a bowl of stew. "I promise it's not poisoned." She said, with a wry grin.

 

[Interstellar Bun]

By the time she returned Grim had all but sobered up and had downed two more large glasses of water to try and fight off the hangover that lurked on the edge of his mind. The one good thing was the fact that it stopped him from overthinking anything, he didn't second guess himself, didn't worry, he just fixed the bread and wondered how much stew Nal would bring.


He had just finished setting the table when she returned, announcing herself as though she belonged there.


"I guess I'll just have to trust you won't I?"


He gave her something of a crooked, tired smile as he sat down at the cozy table that was meant for just him rather than a guest.


He dipped the bread into the stew and, just as he was eating, he found that he couldn't quite keep his thoughts clasped behind his teeth.


"I shouldn't have been short with you earlier. It's just...I don't know if you've ever lost someone important to you but it's hard. I don't think it's something you ever really get over."

 

[HoneyedHopes]

Naloru slurped her soup quietly, and nodded.


"Yeah."


Nothing more intelligent came to mind. She did know what it felt like to lose someone. Every night their faces haunted her. It'd been decades. She still mourned. She still regretted it all.


But she was a different person now. That was something she had to remind herself everyday. She was better off. She would repent. But she would never go back. She would never give up.


SHe caught Grim's gaze, and smiled. He was learning that lesson too. Finally, they'd found something in common. It was then that Naloru decided she would help Grim out. Maybe he annoyed her most of the time, and may be he seemed like the scary sort of guy. But maybe, maybe, she could appreciate it. Him.


"You know–" An arrow cut her off, whizzing through the broken window and colliding with the stone of the fireplace. A snort of disappointment breezed through, tickling her ears. Then a second arrow flew, dangerously close to Grim's head. Naloru stood up, knocking over her chair.


"Grim," She barked, her tone degrees colder than she'd ever used with him. Already her gaze had sharpened, and her body tensed up. "Get down to the basement." It was not a suggestion, but a command. She didn't care that he was a stubborn oaf of a Nord, who'd never taken a command in his life. She caught his eyes, briefly, and barely managed to mutter a, "Please," before she dashed to the front door, a row of arrows following her moves. She disappeared into the trees, attacker on her heels.

 

[Interstellar Bun]

It took a moment for Grim to even realize what was happening. He was eating with Nal one moment and in the next, arrows were cutting through this home, almost catching Nal. He didn't even consider the fact that he almost had been struck as well.


Her tone wasn't something he was familiar with. It was sharp and cold, lacking that sense of Nal he had become accustomed to.


And then she was gone.


Hungry, hungover, and tired, Grim stumbled out of his chair and didn't think to grab his shoes or coat as he broke into a dead sprint out of his house. The door slammed shut behind him and in the dimming light of the setting sun, he burst through the trees. Both Nal and her attacker were quiet compared to the berserker that was Grim. Tree limbs and branches cut lashes against his arms, ripping the thick cotton of his shirt. He didn't feel it thought, could hardly even see the trees he was running through with how focused he was on listening, on catching her scent and keeping a hold of it.


Nal was a fool if she ever thought he would let her handle anything like that on her own.

 

[HoneyedHopes]

Naloru ran without direction, following blindly the path laid out before her by the trees. She wanted to get as far from Grim's as she could, but she wondered if she would hold out that long. her pursuer kept up with her far better than she had anticipated, keeping on ten paces behind her no matter what twists and turns she took.


"It's really too bad that you dodged that arrow, Darvvo," A feline voice called out, "It would've saved you a lot of suffering."


Naloru barked a short, bitter laugh. "When have my brothers and sisters ever spared me suffering?"


Her pursuer, a Khajiit, responded in tempo. "You have a point. But blud of yours they are not." She heard him pull back his bow and rolled out of the way just in time. "Blud doesn't betray their kin. Doesn't burn down homes. Doesn't kill the only family they have!" Ah yes, the bitterness Naloru had expected. She'd heard the same over and over ago, and each time the scene replayed itself, the chorus of voices repeating the same lines grew. Traitorous bitch, They reminded her, everyday, for the last four decades.


But Naloru would have to stop running soon. Already more than three miles had passed under their feet, and her muscles couldn't take much more.


"Feeling tired, Darvvo? Do you wanna stop?" The Khajiit taunted her, which only put more fire into her body. She gritted her teeth and pumped harder. Another arrow flew, and it nicked the edge of her arm.


"You were so close, sister, do you want to try again?" She called back, her voice wild and savage. Before her laid a clearing. She sighed in relief.

 

[Interstellar Bun]

It wasn't only physical weakness that was beginning to eat away at Grim, it was mental weakness as well.


The beast was gnawing at his bones from the inside, aching to get out, to fight, to run, to protect. Grinding his teeth together, Grim picked up his pace, the physical pain in his legs from the sheer effort doing well to keep the beast at bay. Turning could get him to her faster, it could save her from whomever had shot those arrows, but it couldn't save her from himself.


That was the real danger.


He scarcely heard the words, whispers on the wind that he wouldn't have caught if not for his ailment. He couldn't quite understand it, couldn't quite piece together a story he knew nothing of. Burning homes?


Killing family?


That...that didn't sound like Naloru to him.


But, then again, he didn't really know much about her at all did he?


The trees were thinning, giving way to a clearing he had hunted in time and time again. In the dim light, he could see her, Nal.


"Darvvo!" Her name ripped from his throat before he could stop it, desperation coating the harsh word.

 

[HoneyedHopes]

Naloru reached the center of the clearing and wheeled around to face her assailant. Her deft fingers worked the last few knives from her skirt, while her heels and toes dug into the frozen soil to brace her stance. THe khajiit pounced at her, and she lined up the knife, letting it fly from her hand faster than she could blink. It made contact with her shoulder, but she barely slowed. Another knife stuck her in the chest, and she grunted before tumbling into Naloru.


The two wrestled, Naloru pulling at the Khajiit's ears and furs in an attempt to roll herself on top. Likewise, the assassin had a hold on Nal's ponytail, and yank her neck closer to her snarled maw. She snapped and howled and clawed the dark elf, full of strength in spite of the knives twisting into her body. "This is the end, Darvvo," She hissed. Naloru threw all of her weight to the left, and finally managed to roll on top.


"Not this time," She spit back. she placed her hands around the Khajiit's neck. "I know you're not alone. Where are they?" The khajiit didn't answer, only issued a short chuckle. Naloru pressed her thumbs harder against her neck. "Where are they?" Gurgles erupted from her throat, but her mouth remained wide with a twisted grin. She lifted a shaking limb towards the trees, where a familiar voice called out. Naloru cursed and dropped the Khajiit.


"Grim, get back!" Her voice quavered, hysteria pouring out of her mouth. As she suspected, arrows flew from the trees, one in Nal's direction, one in Grim's.

 

[Interstellar Bun]

It was like the sound of silver slivers falling as the arrow cut through the cold, crisp air. Grim heard it, the twang of the bow string, the hysteria in Nal's words. He lurched ungracefully to the side and the arrow struck the tree right behind him, getting close enough to slice through the cotton of his purple shirt without doing any damage.


He'd never been the sort to follow orders, in that way, him and Sigdis had been very much alike, and it was that stupidly stubborn trait that made him disobey Naloru for the second time that night. The ground cold under his feet, teeth gnawing at the inside of his flesh, he moved not away from the Dunmer, but towards her. He'd failed so much in his life, sometimes it seemed like that was all he did, like he was cursed by the gods with every action he took, but he wouldn't fail this time.


He wouldn't fail her.


There was too much happening to process it all right then. The words, the body on the ground, the smell of death that lingered in the air, it would all have to be handled later when neither of them were in danger of being killed.


His hand went to the dagger he usually kept strapped to his hip only to find the spot bare. It was enough to make him growl in frustration, the deep sound vibrating in his throat as he realized he was completely and totally unarmed and unprepared to save himself yet alone Nal. What a hero he made.

 

[HoneyedHopes]

"By Sithis," Naloru growled, and pulled to the side, out of the way of yet another arrow. Her own strength surprised her, but she had little time to think when projectiles showered over them. If Grim was going to insist on getting in the way,s he needed a weapon. At her feet, the Khajiit struggled to regain her feet, and Nal belated realized her bow laid just a few feet away.


"Don't even think about it," She snarled, kicking the assassin away and leaping towards the bow. Grim could handle her if he wanted to help so damn badly. As she expected, the position left her exposed, and an arrow cut its way into her thigh. But she gritted her teeth and ignored it. She slung the pouch of arrows over her shoulders and waited for the next arrow to fly.


When it did,it wasn't just one, but three, from all directions. One dove towards Grim, but Nal couldn't both shoot the archer and pull his hungover butt out of the way. She aimed, fired, and did her best to dodge the two aimed at her chest, hoping Grim would handle himself. The assassin dropped, Nal took another arrow on her side, and aimed twice more. The final assassins fell from the trees, leaving only the sounds of the wind rustling through leaves and a khajiit assassin taking its final, ragged breaths.


She kept the bow clenched in her hand so tightly her nails dug into her thumb. She didn't turn around to face him, not that she needed to. SHe could see his expression clearly without having to witness it.


"I'll go make sure they're dead," she whispered, "Don't follow me this time." Fury made her words bite.

 

[Interstellar Bun]

Another arrow flew and it embedded itself into the fleshy part of his bicep, serving more as something irritating than anything to truly be worried about. He answered the pain with a growl and gripped the shaft of the arrow that was lodged in his arm and, without thinking, broke off a good portion of it so it couldn't be gripped in close combat. He wasn't stupid, he didn't try and rip it out, no, that would be something he'd have to leave up to a healer or -gods save him- Sigdis.


Nal let off her own shots and the dull thud of bodies could be heard as the assassins fell. She'd done that too easily.


Gods save them all.


He was feeling an eerie coldness creep through his bones and settling in his core as he stared at Naloru, his expression a mix of disbelief and...Oblivion he didn't even know.


"Darvvo don't push me away." He couldn't help himself, he took a half step towards her. Something in his voice just felt so raw, so real that he was almost ashamed of himself. It combated the anger in her words, cutting it with words that cared too much. "Let me help you."

 

[HoneyedHopes]

Her head hurt, worse than the pulsing heat of the arrows stuck in her body. She blamed the tears streaming down her face on the pain, rather than... His voice just sounded so clear. Clearer than a hangover nord, clearer than Grim ever projected. Before she could bite her tongue, before she could clear her head, she turned a shoulder towards him. Her eyes stared wide at him, hungry and desperate, while her hand twitched in his direction. Her mouth opened, dozens of apologies and excuses on her tongue.


She closed her mouth when she realized she couldn't lie to him.


But he was close enough to touch, so she laid a palm lightly against the wound on his bicep. Her fingers sucked up his warmth as they ghosted over his flesh. As soon as the moment erupted between them, Naloru froze the image in her memory, and stepped away.


"You can't help me," She whispered, her heart breaking beneath her words, "I'm trying to help you."





She disappeared into the surrounding forests without another word.

 

[Interstellar Bun]

She touched him and, so much like a dream, she just vanished, leaving him waiting to see if she'd return if only he closed his eyes again. He shouldn't have been so bothered. He was, though, and he was left standing there among the bodies that held her secrets, feeling more alone than he had in some time. They weren't friends, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't cared.


Slowly, he turned away. Crossing his arms, ignoring the throb where the arrow jutted out of his bicep, he headed not towards his home but, rather, towards the inn. Sidgis would likely still be there and there was a faint tug in his chest, like a string wrapped around his heart, that pulled him away from his typically solitary life style. He needed someone to talk to, someone to patch him up, and Sigdis was a damn good option. She wouldn't ask to many questions, and even if she did, she wouldn't share those answers.


A shaky breath escaped him when he saw the tavern and he was left wondering if Naloru would ever come back.


He hadn't when he left.


The door opened and he wasn't surprised to find the place pretty empty. It was with a thud the dull shut behind him, leaving him feeling almost like a stranger in the tavern he so often visited. It wasn't until he saw one of the doors swing open that he stopped. There she was, blond hair falling loosely over her shoulders, brows furrowed in something of genuine concern.


"You look like shit."


"Feel like it." He slumped in to one of the chairs. "Did you see Darvvo come by?"


"Yeah," already she was moving, going to get things to help his wound. "Or, I guess it was her. Just heard a whistle outside and the dog left. What to talk about it?"


"Nah." He rubbed his face. "Not...not just yet."


Sigdis accepted that, giving him a passing pat on the shoulder before she pulled up another chair and got to work.


"Hey Sig?" He waited until she glanced up at him with those pale blue eyes. "Thanks."


"Not a problem, Grim." And it wasn't.