h2h0e
Landmaid
OMG YAY! I'm so happy for you!
Journal Health Announcement [6-year Retrospective]
- Thread starter Daisie
- Start date
capMARVELOUS
Acclaimed* Light Novel Author Tatami Enjo
FUCK to the yes! Cancer status #2, baby!
I'm so very very happy for you! Like I said you could, you kicked that cancer's ass! I'll keep praying that whatever comes next, you'll come through.
I'm so very very happy for you! Like I said you could, you kicked that cancer's ass! I'll keep praying that whatever comes next, you'll come through.
RandomBlobMan
That was a misclick I swear
Yes
Yes
YES
YES
YES
Yes
YES
YES
YES
Trombone Geek
KNIFE
I am veeeeeerry late but CONGRATS! I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU'VE BEATEN CANCER AND COME OUT STRONG!!!
Daisie
Seared with story
| The End.Hello once again, everyone! So here we are, the end of my treatment. Truthfully, I got home about a week ago, but I've needed a lot of time to settle in. I'm probably going to need a lot of time to recover mentally. The past 6 months or more have been the biggest experience of my life so far, there's no question about that. But the odd thing is, and I know it sounds wrong, but it's been the best thing to happen to me. Before, I was very unsure of myself, where I fit in, and who I was. I didn't really like myself - not to a serious degree mind you, but I was still trying to figure myself out, like any normal kid. I always looked at people who went through life-threatening things and admired them because I never thought I could ever possibly be that strong or brave. But I found that when I was thrown into the fray, I mightily impressed myself. When you're in the thick of dark times, everyone (including you, trust me) has a way of just... Finding a way through. When I figured that out, suddenly I became far less anxious and far more confident. I've discovered a lot of things about myself that I'm quite proud of. I'd never realized how passionate I was about the things I love, like art and certain fandoms. I learned about the massive impact I have on the people around me. I realized how much of a drive I had to turn every bad situation into a good one. Even on my worst days, I would never call myself a pessimist. Honestly, I love that. I'm my own weird person, and I'm proud to show my weirdness to anyone who will listen. Though I wouldn't wish a situation like mine upon anyone, I'm extremely grateful for being thrown into dire circumstances because I learned so much from it. I have to say, everyone on RpNation has had a great impact on my experience. I have tons of really great friends on here that show endless support, from a funny gif to a heartfelt letter of reassurance. I'm so happy to be a part of the group of friends I have now, and the RpN community as a whole. Everyone has been so understanding, patient, and wonderful. I can't thank you enough for being here, whether you're showing your wholehearted support, or I just catch sight of your witty banter with each other. Seeing all of you around just makes me happy. The fifth and final round is over. No more lengthy hospital stays. I'm out of this for good. I kicked cancer's ass. Thank you. |
RandomBlobMan
That was a misclick I swear
*sound of airhorn intensifies*
LegoLad659
Fairy Queen
Cold Ramen Noodles
This account is closed.
I'm so happy for you. 
For finishing treatment and discovering more about yourself and who you are.
For finishing treatment and discovering more about yourself and who you are.
capMARVELOUS
Acclaimed* Light Novel Author Tatami Enjo
All I can say are two words:
Hell. Yeah.
Hell. Yeah.
Daisie
Seared with story
Hey, Dai.
It's been 6 years since cancer shattered your world and left you to pick up the pieces.
Well... You made it! No relapses. Not so far, anyways. 5 years out, your chances of relapse plummeted dramatically, so... Pretty darn good. I'll never say you're completely in the clear, but whew. You're sure gonna go far.
You're gonna make it, but the next few years are gonna be difficult in a lot of ways you aren't really prepared for. A lot of stuff you've never felt before. I'm sorry you are going to have to go through that. It's like you're supposed to be in the happily-ever-after of your movie, but then it keeps dragging on and you're left feeling like you've been cheated out of it, somehow.
I know you weren't lying when you made that final update, joyfully proclaiming your victory, but I also know that it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be, too. Yeah, winning that fight against cancer was undoubtedly a good thing, but please know that you were never wrong for feeling so numb and confused when you rang that bell. That numbness is going to be a real beast to overcome over the next few years, but you will do it. Just keep pressing forward. Walk through the fire.
You're gonna feel a lot of stuff. You're gonna feel the loneliest you've ever felt. Going outside isn't gonna be the same for a really long time. You'll look at the people around you, strangers on the street, and understand that they have no comprehension of the stuff you've been through. That's gonna take a while to wrap your head around - how the world can just keep existing after everything you've been through. Even in cancer support groups, you'll feel alone. Trapped in a bubble in your own head. That WILL pass. I promise. But only with time. And I know you're so, so tired of waiting, but you'll just have to hold on a little longer. It gets better.
For a while the future will be too much to deal with. That's okay. You don't have to feel guilty for not being able to think about what comes after. You don't have to feel like you're falling behind. You don't have to feel inept or incapable. It's okay.
You have been, and you will be again, told that you have depression, by just about everyone, ever. But it's not gonna click. Not really, not for a while. You're gonna go off, waffling back and forth, wondering if there's some test to PROVE that there's a problem. You're gonna learn that you do have it, and then unlearn it a few times. You're gonna go to therapists and not really know what you're looking for. It's gonna be wayyyy later that it's finally gonna click that you DO have depression. And by that I mean... earlier this year. So it's gonna be a ways out, floundering in the dark and wondering why you can't get yourself to do anything at "random times" when "you feel just fine". Yeahhh. Big thing to unpack there.
ADHD is also way more of a significant possibility than you think! Again, maybe I'll get back to you on that someday.
There's gonna be some PTSD. You will probably suffer from the occasional flashback for the rest of your life. It's gonna be especially hard in the coming months. Anything abnormal is gonna send you into a spiral. It's okay. Don't feel guilty about using your meds. This is what they're for.
But it absolutely is not all bad. Not by a long shot.
In a few years, when the future is no longer too much to deal with, you'll realize you actually have one available to you. And it's YOURS to spend. You'll start coming out of survival mode. Don't panic! The future isn't as scary as it seems when you imagine it. Believe it or not, you're gonna actually be really excited for it. I mean, it's nerve wracking, but in a good way. Especially as you start realizing what you want to do with your life. That entire process is gonna be a RIDE.
Yeah, you know how you have so much difficulty sticking with any one thing for very long? Well psst. You're gonna find that thing that keeps your attention. And it's gonna keep your attention for YEARS. You're gonna look back through your life and wonder "OMG, how did I not see this sooner?!" The thing that drives you forward is gonna become SO obvious in hindsight, because it always HAS driven you. You're gonna look back and realize that it has never stopped providing you passion throughout your whole life. Even through CHEMO. You may not be the very best at working on it consistently. You're not gonna keep at it every single day for years on end, but you're gonna make progress. And that progress is REAL. You're gonna do it in your own way.
The funniest part of all that is that the thing you're gonna pursue? Yeah you're gonna dismiss it as soon as you think of it. Ain't a single person on the face of this Earth that can convince you of anything you don't decide on, yourself.
You've got so much ahead of you, and man, I'm just barely scratching the surface of it, myself. It may be 6 years out from treatment, but that really isn't a long time. I'm still so young, man! You've got so much time. I've got so much time. You're gonna get better at using it someday... I'm still learning how to.
It's going well. We're making progress. Even when we felt like we were stuck, and that it was gonna stay this way forever, looking back tells me we never truly stopped. You made some friends that are still here today. I've made some friends that have lasted us well, too. I'm sure the fight isn't done. Life still has a whole lot more pain in store for us, I'm positive of it. But let's be real. We wouldn't want it any other way.
Let's figure this out together.
Lots of love, tons of patience, and rooting for you from the future,
Dai
P.S. YOU GOT THAT FRENCH LOP RABBIT!! SHE IS 12 LBS AND SHE LOVES YOU SO MUCH!! ISN'T THAT THE BEST?? IT'S HARD TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND AND PET WITH THE OTHER, SO I'M GONNA GO
It's been 6 years since cancer shattered your world and left you to pick up the pieces.
Well... You made it! No relapses. Not so far, anyways. 5 years out, your chances of relapse plummeted dramatically, so... Pretty darn good. I'll never say you're completely in the clear, but whew. You're sure gonna go far.
You're gonna make it, but the next few years are gonna be difficult in a lot of ways you aren't really prepared for. A lot of stuff you've never felt before. I'm sorry you are going to have to go through that. It's like you're supposed to be in the happily-ever-after of your movie, but then it keeps dragging on and you're left feeling like you've been cheated out of it, somehow.
I know you weren't lying when you made that final update, joyfully proclaiming your victory, but I also know that it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be, too. Yeah, winning that fight against cancer was undoubtedly a good thing, but please know that you were never wrong for feeling so numb and confused when you rang that bell. That numbness is going to be a real beast to overcome over the next few years, but you will do it. Just keep pressing forward. Walk through the fire.
You're gonna feel a lot of stuff. You're gonna feel the loneliest you've ever felt. Going outside isn't gonna be the same for a really long time. You'll look at the people around you, strangers on the street, and understand that they have no comprehension of the stuff you've been through. That's gonna take a while to wrap your head around - how the world can just keep existing after everything you've been through. Even in cancer support groups, you'll feel alone. Trapped in a bubble in your own head. That WILL pass. I promise. But only with time. And I know you're so, so tired of waiting, but you'll just have to hold on a little longer. It gets better.
For a while the future will be too much to deal with. That's okay. You don't have to feel guilty for not being able to think about what comes after. You don't have to feel like you're falling behind. You don't have to feel inept or incapable. It's okay.
You have been, and you will be again, told that you have depression, by just about everyone, ever. But it's not gonna click. Not really, not for a while. You're gonna go off, waffling back and forth, wondering if there's some test to PROVE that there's a problem. You're gonna learn that you do have it, and then unlearn it a few times. You're gonna go to therapists and not really know what you're looking for. It's gonna be wayyyy later that it's finally gonna click that you DO have depression. And by that I mean... earlier this year. So it's gonna be a ways out, floundering in the dark and wondering why you can't get yourself to do anything at "random times" when "you feel just fine". Yeahhh. Big thing to unpack there.
ADHD is also way more of a significant possibility than you think! Again, maybe I'll get back to you on that someday.
There's gonna be some PTSD. You will probably suffer from the occasional flashback for the rest of your life. It's gonna be especially hard in the coming months. Anything abnormal is gonna send you into a spiral. It's okay. Don't feel guilty about using your meds. This is what they're for.
But it absolutely is not all bad. Not by a long shot.
In a few years, when the future is no longer too much to deal with, you'll realize you actually have one available to you. And it's YOURS to spend. You'll start coming out of survival mode. Don't panic! The future isn't as scary as it seems when you imagine it. Believe it or not, you're gonna actually be really excited for it. I mean, it's nerve wracking, but in a good way. Especially as you start realizing what you want to do with your life. That entire process is gonna be a RIDE.
Yeah, you know how you have so much difficulty sticking with any one thing for very long? Well psst. You're gonna find that thing that keeps your attention. And it's gonna keep your attention for YEARS. You're gonna look back through your life and wonder "OMG, how did I not see this sooner?!" The thing that drives you forward is gonna become SO obvious in hindsight, because it always HAS driven you. You're gonna look back and realize that it has never stopped providing you passion throughout your whole life. Even through CHEMO. You may not be the very best at working on it consistently. You're not gonna keep at it every single day for years on end, but you're gonna make progress. And that progress is REAL. You're gonna do it in your own way.
The funniest part of all that is that the thing you're gonna pursue? Yeah you're gonna dismiss it as soon as you think of it. Ain't a single person on the face of this Earth that can convince you of anything you don't decide on, yourself.
You've got so much ahead of you, and man, I'm just barely scratching the surface of it, myself. It may be 6 years out from treatment, but that really isn't a long time. I'm still so young, man! You've got so much time. I've got so much time. You're gonna get better at using it someday... I'm still learning how to.
It's going well. We're making progress. Even when we felt like we were stuck, and that it was gonna stay this way forever, looking back tells me we never truly stopped. You made some friends that are still here today. I've made some friends that have lasted us well, too. I'm sure the fight isn't done. Life still has a whole lot more pain in store for us, I'm positive of it. But let's be real. We wouldn't want it any other way.
Let's figure this out together.
Lots of love, tons of patience, and rooting for you from the future,
Dai
P.S. YOU GOT THAT FRENCH LOP RABBIT!! SHE IS 12 LBS AND SHE LOVES YOU SO MUCH!! ISN'T THAT THE BEST?? IT'S HARD TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND AND PET WITH THE OTHER, SO I'M GONNA GO
Last edited:
Kaerri
Dannigan's Lady
Dazedlion
Autism creature
Happy you'll be fine mate!
