Fandom Forbidden and Scarred Love { The Last of Us 1x1 with icedthemoon }

[icedthemoon]

Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Ravi Akuna (and also the Smith Clan)
Seraphite Warrior, WLF Members | 26, 22, 23 | Current location ;; Washington

Soren was not sure he could move. He never felt so helpless as he did in that moment. Useless. Inferior. He was supposed to be better than that. He was supposed to be great. Everyone was looking up to him and Josh. They created that image. When Josh came over to their side, Soren was the one who never stopped being his spokesperson. His hype man. He always had been. The family hug broke apart, and he a rush of emotion came crashing down on him, but he couldn’t let that break him. Not here. The kiss gave him life. He felt almost rejuvenated. At least enough to make it through dinner. “Okay.” He took a step back and a deep breath. He held onto one of Jacob’s hands. “Stay with me.” Hayden slowly stood up, taking Josh’s hand. Josh needed him the most right now. Kai was struggling too, and Hayden knew that he needed the support, but it was hard for him to split into two. He needed to get out of this little room. Then he would hold onto them both. Theo was the best out of all of them right now. He made it to the door and plastered on that happy face for them. “We got this, guys!” It was his job to be cheer guy. For now.

Ravi was intrigued. He was so intrigued with everything that Luke did. The way he moved and talked. The energy and positivity that he had. Normally, people like that took so much more from Ravi. They felt like they drained him of his life. But Luke felt different. Like their energies matched somehow. With every bounce Luke did, that was one less bounce that Ravi had to do. But it also kind of felt like it was his too. Like they were sharing it? Wow, okay, now he was sounding even weirder than he knew he was. He smiled though. Sort of laughed. “If they’re anything like you, I think we’ll be good.” They reached the cafeteria soon after.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Kaiden Lachlan, Alexander Brennan and Luke Smith (along with the Smith Clan)
WLF Member, Young Seraphite Warrior, WLF Member | 23, 16, 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Jacob looked at Soren, hearing his words and saw him take a step back. He held onto Soren's hand and squeezed it gently. "Always." He replied, kissing his cheek gently. Josh smiled as he felt Hayden take his hand. Joshua needed Hayden, like he always had, but the difference was that he was accepting that he did need his husband. Kai smiled as he looked at Theo, following his brother out of the break room. Jacob led Soren and Josh walked with Hayden towards the door.

Luke smiled as he saw that smile on Ravi's face, their energies matched almost, and while it was weird, it was wonderful too. He heard that sort of laugh as they walked. "This is true." He said, nodding as they entered the cafeteria. "Hmm. They aren't at the table yet. Would you like to come with me to grab meals for everyone?"​

 

[icedthemoon]

Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Ravi Akuna (and also the Smith Clan)
Seraphite Warrior, WLF Members | 26, 22, 23 | Current location ;; Washington

Theo skipped through the kitchens, pausing to give Holly a slight hug from behind and stopped at the end to wait for the rest of them. Soren and Hayden moved with their husbands, thankful to have them. Though Soren knew that there needed to be an additional conversation after this, Hayden wondered if there was more to be said or if they did it already. Since they were in the back, Hayden did not mind leaning over as they walked and whispering, “I love you,” to the man who needed to hear it most.

Ravi was not sure if it was odd that the family was not there yet or if this was normal, so he had no additional thoughts about it. He did, however, have thoughts about grabbing meals. “Sure. It’s the least I can do with all the help you gave me today.” It was true. He moved faster with an assistant. “How do you feel about dropping your job as patrolman, even though you shoot like those are an extension of you, and joining us in ammunitions?” He didn’t mean it. Not really. Though he kind of did. And he didn’t want him to be any part of it. He wanted him to be with him. It was weird and he regretted saying it, because now he didn’t know what to do about it. He reddened with his own spiral as they walked over to the line.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Kaiden Lachlan, Alexander Brennan and Luke Smith (along with the Smith Clan)
WLF Member, Young Seraphite Warrior, WLF Member | 23, 16, 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Holly felt the slight hug from behind and laughed as she watched Theo, before another hug from Kai as he passed by. Jacob moved with Soren, squeezing his hand every so often as he did. A reminder that he was here and he wasn't going anywhere. Josh heard the whisper and looked at Hayden, smiling softly. "I love you too." He whispered back, kissing his cheek as they walked. He loved Hayden and he wasn't going to hide that ever again.

Luke moved with Ravi, smiling happily. "Thanks." He said as he bounced towards the line. "You're welcome by the way. I enjoyed it today." He said, before he tilted his head a little at the question. "Uh. Well. I'm not sure I'd be able to do that." He admitted. "B- But! It's not because I don't want to join you in ammunitions. I just enjoy being outside in the fresh air and protecting everyone here." He admitted as they stood in line.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Ravi Akuna (and also the Smith Clan)
Seraphite Warrior, WLF Members | 26, 22, 23 | Current location ;; Washington

Theo waited long enough to grab Kai’s wrist and then bolt out of the kitchens so that they could get to the cafeteria faster. Of course, he still had to wait for his slow family, so he was not entirely certain why he was trying to move so quickly. Soren and Jacob came out, followed by Josh and Hayden as well. Theo turned and looked at them all. “I want all you old people who just relived the worst days of their lives to go sit down. Go.” He shooed them with both hands. “Get out of here. You are not allowed to help.” Then he turned to move to the line.

Ravi felt like he said the stupidest thing in the whole world. He stared at his feet as his face was definitely ridiculously red. He shoved his shoulders into the air in an awkward shrug of sorts. “I think that’s cool too.” He stepped forward in the line, coming close to the front. “Makes you a hero. Protecting everyone.” He looked behind them for no real reason other than because he struggled around a lot of people. This was a lot of people with the additional talking and anticipation of a lot of people with him on top of all that.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Kaiden Lachlan, Alexander Brennan and Luke Smith (along with the Smith Clan)
WLF Member, Young Seraphite Warrior, WLF Member | 23, 16, 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Kai chuckled as he felt Theo grab his wrist and he moved with his brother out and into the cafeteria faster. Though he waited for the rest of the family, Jacob and Josh moving with their partners. They both chuckled at Theo's words and Josh sighed. "Come on, let's go sit at the table." Josh said, turning to head with the other three to sit down at the table. Luke looked at Ravi as he saw him staring at his feet. He caught the shrug and smiled at him softly. "Oh thanks. I never thought of it like that." Luke admitted as he looked behind them too. "Oh! Theo! Kai! Hey!" Luke called as he saw Kai and Theo joining the line. Kai noticed him and smiled. "Well, looks like we aren't the only one getting dinner for everyone." Kai mentioned.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Ravi Akuna (and also the Smith Clan)
Seraphite Warrior, WLF Members | 26, 22, 23 | Current location ;; Washington

Theo noticed Luke the moment they were in line, but Luke caught him to saying anything about it. Without waiting at all, he grabbed Kai’s hand, pulled them out of the line, and shoved themselves with Luke. “Hey!” called the person behind with an additional, “Um, there’s a line,” from another. Theo turned and threw up his hands in apologies. “We’re with him!” He slid an arm over Luke’s shoulder. “Hey man, sorry we’re a little late. We just had the most intense after action report with his dad possibly ever, and I’m kind of shocked we didn’t lost Uncle Soren and Uncle Jacob honestly.” Ravi slunk to the side, hands shoved in his pockets, head down and facing away. Though he knew them, this felt like an intrusion. It was nothing against Theo and Kai who just arrived. He looked up and saw that they were finally next in line.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Kaiden Lachlan, Alexander Brennan and Luke Smith (along with the Smith Clan)
WLF Member, Young Seraphite Warrior, WLF Member | 23, 16, 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Kai sighed, shaking his head and apologized as Theo dragged them up to stand with Luke. “Theo. That wasn’t very nice.” Kai said, crossing his arms and looking at Theo. Luke felt the arm slide over his shoulders and chuckled, looking at the two. “Oh is that so? I’d love to hear all about it. It must’ve been bad if Uncle Jacob came off work.” Luke said as they were next in line. He was going to introduce Ravi when they were up. Holly stood there, smiling at her son and her nephews. “Hello boys. Grabbing dinner for everyone?” She asked and Luke nodded. “Yep! Thanks mom.” He said before looking at Ravi. “He’s with me too.” Luke said, grinning at Ravi as his mom started to hand them the trays.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Ravi Akuna (and also the Smith Clan)
Seraphite Warrior, WLF Members | 26, 22, 23 | Current location ;; Washington

Yeah, it wasn’t the coolest thing to do or whatever, but they were all together, and that meant that it only made sense for them to be together. Everyone else would be alright. “It was crazy! We were at the hospital you know,” he paused as they reached the front, and he had to smile at Holly. “Hello to my favorite cook in the whole world! And then we went down to-“ He paused, realizing there was a glaring mistake he should not have made. He turned to look at Ravi and cringed a little. “I’m so sorry! You’re with him too? Shoot, I definitely didn’t know that.” Ravi smiled like he was supposed to in these kinds of situations and then looked away. He was starting to think that he probably shouldn’t have said yes to this. It would have been better to stay on his own. “Um, yeah, sorry. I can… go.”​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Kaiden Lachlan, Alexander Brennan and Luke Smith (along with the Smith Clan)
WLF Member, Young Seraphite Warrior, WLF Member | 23, 16, 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Luke nodded as he listened to him. “I heard that you were going to the hospital.” He nodded even as the conversation paused. “Hello Theo.” Holly said with a smile as she handed Kai and Luke two trays each. Kai looked at Ravi, and shook his head. “Nonsense! You don’t have to go. The more the merrier!” Kai said with a smile as Luke nodded. “Please, stay?” Luke asked as Holly handed Theo two trays and then looked at Ravi with a kind smile and holding two trays for him if he wanted to stay.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Ravi Akuna (and also the Smith Clan)
Seraphite Warrior, WLF Members | 26, 22, 23 | Current location ;; Washington

Theo happily took the trays but turned to Ravi with probably the saddest face that Ravi had ever seen on anyone that wasn’t forced to live in a tiny room with a thousand other people. “You really don’t have to go. I’m so sorry that I didn’t notice you. That’s my bad not yours.” He nodded to the trays. “Bring those to the table with us. Come in and stay a while.” He laughed at his own reference and skipped away. Ravi stood there for a moment unsure what to do. Should he go with them? This was a lot. There were already a lot of people, and it was only three. Luke looked like he really wanted this, and he did stay with him all day helping out. It was the least he could do. He nodded just a little and took the trays. “Th-thanks,” he all but whispered to Holly as he too ducked his head and started moving towards the table.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Kaiden Lachlan, Alexander Brennan and Luke Smith (along with the Smith Clan)
WLF Member, Young Seraphite Warrior, WLF Member | 23, 16, 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Kai shook his head at his brother and looked at Ravi. “Sorry about him. He can be.. a lot. But we love him anyway.” Kai laughed as he took his trays and headed off to the table. He set his in front of Hayden and Josh, before sitting beside his dad. Luke was happy that Ravi decided to stay and said goodbye to his mother before following over to the table. Luke set his trays in front of Soren and Jacob, before sitting down beside Jacob. He patted the seat beside him for Ravi with a smile on his face.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Ravi Akuna (and also the Smith Clan)
Seraphite Warrior, WLF Members | 26, 22, 23 | Current location ;; Washington

Theo slid a tray in front of Kai and then kept his other for himself. He plopped himself down and almost got to continue the conversation he started when Hayden interrupted him. “Ravi. What a pleasant surprise. I didn’t know you’d be coming to join us today.” Ravi reddened from the attention. He placed the trays down, realizing he must have the ones for himself and Luke and sat. He ran a hand behind his neck, biting into the innermost part of his mouth below his bottom lip. “Um… yeah?” Hayden took this as answer enough. “I’m glad you came to join us. We need new faces sometimes. So I take it you two a good rest of the day then?” Soren, who was attached at the hip to Jacob, began eating and listening.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Kaiden Lachlan, Alexander Brennan and Luke Smith (along with the Smith Clan)
WLF Member, Young Seraphite Warrior, WLF Member | 23, 16, 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Luke smiled warmly at Ravi as he came over though he saw those red cheeks. He blushed himself as he looked at Hayden. “Uh sorry everyone. This is Ravi. And yes uncle, we had a really good day. You should’ve seen this guy fixing all those jammed guns. It was pretty cool.” Luke said, smiling wide as Josh chuckled, listening to his nephew. Jacob, still as attached as possible to Soren, saw how excited Luke was and he was happy for his nephew. Kai listened as he ate. “And then, then I tested the rifles out and let me tell you, they worked so much better. So smooth. I certainly learned a lot today!” Luke added before he took a few bites of food.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Ravi Akuna (and also the Smith Clan)
Seraphite Warrior, WLF Members | 26, 22, 23 | Current location ;; Washington

This was a lot more attention than he was used to getting. At work, he had to talk to people just a little and then he disappeared to do his own thing. They all did. Sometimes they worked more like a team, and that was great and all, but this was a lot for someone like Ravi. He nervously smiled. “It wasn’t that cool,” he insisted as Luke continued anyway. He glanced at this man he only met today who was already raving about him like they’d known each other for a long time. Hayden was the first to keep it going. “That’s wonderful. So you got to show off your talents too then.” He grinned at Luke. “I am surrounded by immensely talented boys.” He placed a hand on Kai and leaned against Josh. Theo laughed. “Okay, your day sounds way more awesome than our day. You got to test all the guns? That’s neat. And you fix them? So cool. Sorry about how many I send back to you, but like they always want to struggle, you know?” Ravi shook his head in a sort of “Don’t worry about it” or a “it’s all cool” or something like that. He ate his food.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Kaiden Lachlan, Alexander Brennan and Luke Smith (along with the Smith Clan)
WLF Member, Young Seraphite Warrior, WLF Member | 23, 16, 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Luke had never met someone like Ravi before. And when he heard that it wasn’t that cool, he shook his head fervently. “It absolutely was cool. I’ve never seen the mechanical side of the guns and how some little thing like the primer not working could jam a rifle.” Luke said and then turned to Hayden. “I mean. Yeah. I guess I did.” He said, his excited tone a little more bashful now. Kai blushed too, looking down as Josh also blushed which was rare for him. He was happy for Luke. Him and Jacob both, and if Logan were here, he’d be proud and happy for his boy. Luke turned to Theo curiously as he spoke. “Oh yeah. You were talking about your day. How was the hospital?”​

 

[icedthemoon]

Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Ravi Akuna (and also the Smith Clan)
Seraphite Warrior, WLF Members | 26, 22, 23 | Current location ;; Washington

There Like was again talking about Ravi like he was this amazing gift or something. It really wasn’t that cool. Anyone could fix something like that we long as they knew what to look for, and if someone taught them, then it would be fine. He did not see what Luke saw. He chose to stay quiet as the rest talked. In fact, he was grateful for the interruption of the subject of Ravi when Theo mentioned their day. “It’s totally fine!” Theo insisted. “You clearly had a better time. I mean, it was still great getting to go out again and be useful but the hospital is real freaky. We went to the basement and the seal wasn’t so sealed anymore and there were infected everywhere and this big bloater! But we took them all down and sealed it back up with his body! Agh! We’re heroes it’s true.” Ravi continued to stay quiet during this as he tried to process the inordinate amount of energy Theo had. Soren bit his lip as the story brought back the memories that were too close to the present. He turned his head away. ​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Kaiden Lachlan, Alexander Brennan and Luke Smith (along with the Smith Clan)
WLF Member, Young Seraphite Warrior, WLF Member | 23, 16, 19 | Current location ;; Washington

As Luke talked about Ravi, Kai was seeing how happy his cousin was. He might’ve gotten annoyed sometimes when they were younger and Luke was constantly trying to join them, but he was happy to see him finding more friends outside of the family. Josh listened to Theo go on about the hospital and he looked down at his food, suddenly not very hungry. His stomach churned a little at the memories, the past and present clashing together so aggressively. Jacob watched that as Theo talked, that Soren turned his head away. He placed a hand on his husband’s leg. “Theo. Why don’t we talk about something else? What was it like being with Kai, Josh and Soren? On their patrol? Maybe don’t focus on the basement.”​

 

[icedthemoon]

Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Ravi Akuna (and also the Smith Clan)
Seraphite Warrior, WLF Members | 26, 22, 23 | Current location ;; Washington

Theo looked around and realized that Josh and Soren weren’t having such a fun time with the topic. “Oh, um, well it was great! My last group was also great but it’s not like it is when we all get to be together, you know?” He shoveled food into his face and kept going. “Kai is the actual best partner like ever, so I totally get why Josh and Soren are always together. And it just feels so cohesive.” Hayden smiled. “It’s surprising it’s taken us this long to realize that you’re better together. Now all that’s left is to put Luke with the rest of you too.” Ravi looked up at that. They were such a close knit family. He definitely felt very out of place. ​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Kaiden Lachlan, Alexander Brennan and Luke Smith (along with the Smith Clan)
WLF Member, Young Seraphite Warrior, WLF Member | 23, 16, 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Kai blushed this time, though it was true. He and Theo worked very well together. Josh, grateful for the topic change, looked at Hayden and smiled. “We were actually just talking about adding Luke into the group earlier.” Josh said as he looked over at the youngest Smith. Luke meanwhile was listening before he looked at Hayden and Josh. He still wanted to ask about having tomorrow off. “I think that would be so cool to be in your patrol group!” Luke said x as he ate his food. He ate quickly, always had. Kai, Josh and Jacob always took their time eating. Though Kai was still a little faster. “That sounds awesome. A whole patrol with just the family?”​

 

[icedthemoon]

Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Ravi Akuna (and also the Smith Clan)
Seraphite Warrior, WLF Members | 26, 22, 23 | Current location ;; Washington

This was a conversation Soren would normally have been able to have. He would have loved to tell Luke how much he wanted to have him too. That he and Josh were talking about what it would be like to only be the family. They would not even need extra people. They were so efficient with one another. But he couldn’t. He still held his breath as he gently turned away from them. Not enough for Theo to notice. Not enough for Ravi to notice as he tried not to intrude. Not even enough for Hayden to notice with his attention on Josh and Luke. Theo was giddy at the thought. “Could we do that? That sounds sooooo cool! Who would be a better team than all of us?” Hayden laughed and nodded. “I don’t think there could be a better team. And then you’re all together. I know you can keep each other safe.” Soren bit his lip harder, the taste of iron spreading on his tongue.​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Kaiden Lachlan, Alexander Brennan and Luke Smith (along with the Smith Clan)
WLF Member, Young Seraphite Warrior, WLF Member | 23, 16, 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Twenty one years of marriage. Twenty three years being together. That length of time meant that Jacob could sense the subtle shifts in Soren’s body language. The holding of his breath, and the turn away from the conversation. He knew what his husband needed. And in that moment, he wasn’t hungry anymore. “I would love to continue this conversation with everyone but we’re going to head to our room for the night. And Josh? Tell the team to take the day off. You need it, Kai needs it. The others will be fine. That is an order from the medical tent. And if Isaac has an issue, he can talk to me.” Jacob said, standing up from the table, his hand on Soren’s to guide him up too. Josh blinked, and he nodded. That serious tone in Jacob’s words meant his brother was not going to take no for an answer. He got that way when he felt it was absolutely necessary. Luke and Kai looked up at Jacob and Kai nodded. He did need some time. He wouldn’t argue that at all.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Ravi Akuna (and also the Smith Clan)
Seraphite Warrior, WLF Members | 26, 22, 23 | Current location ;; Washington

There was always something gratifying about Jacob ordering others around. Hayden knew that this was a residual feeling from the years of anguish and resentment. He knew that it was towards Josh when he appreciated Jacob’s stern decisions. Only now, it wasn’t against Josh. It was both for him and against the military systems as a whole. Yet, it was in their blood now. They were forever tainted. He turned to Jacob who was already moving. Soren silently stood up as well, following without question. It was only then that Hayden realized that Soren had not eaten anything. He sighed. He turned back to the rest. “Well, then I guess that’s settled. Everyone’s got days off tomorrow. Luke, do you want to change to patrol with them? Because we can make that happen.” Nothing would make Hayden happier than to have his family as together as possible. He lost too much already. If they had Luke today, it may have been a better story. Theo, who was briefly shocked, grinned again. “Yessss man let’s do it!”​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Kaiden Lachlan, Alexander Brennan and Luke Smith (along with the Smith Clan)
WLF Member, Young Seraphite Warrior, WLF Member | 23, 16, 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Jacob usually went with the flow, and in all honesty, never really ordered people around. He didn’t like it, didn’t like it when FEDRA did it. But he also knew, as a nurse and now a medic, that sometimes that was needed. The war between the Scars and them was hard, the war that his husband and brother fought against the infected from day one was hard. And days off were just as important. Just as necessary. He held Soren’s hand, squeezing it gently. He was there for his husband. “We will see you.. eventually. Have a good night everyone.” Jacob said before he turned and led Soren away. He wouldn’t say a word until they were in the privacy of their room.

Josh was fine with a day off as he watched Jacob and Soren leave. He needed his husband and his son. Perhaps they could spend the day together. Doing what, Josh wasn’t quite sure yet. Luke looked at Hayden and nodded happily. “I do! Can it start tomorrow?” He asked, hope shining in his eyes as he looked at Hayden. If it started tomorrow, he could have a day off again and he could go on that walk with Ravi.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Ezekiel Finch, Theophilus Sharpe, and Ravi Akuna (and also the Smith Clan)
Seraphite Warrior, WLF Members | 26, 22, 23 | Current location ;; Washington

The family all waved, Ravi awkwardly nodded towards them, and Soren and Jacob were gone. Soren held onto Jacob’s hand simultaneously like he could barely feel it there and like he would be lost forever if he didn’t. Images of both past and present swarmed his mind until he could no longer distinguish was was way back, what was earlier in the day, and what was happening in that moment. It should not have affected him like this. He knew that. Soren went for years and years rarely this affected by patrols. He left those outside when he came home. Told Jacob but otherwise did not let it live with him. But this too close to personal. It was nothing but personal. He moved with Jacob almost mechanically as they left the cafeteria and traveled to their room.

Hayden sighed as they left. He squeezed Josh’s leg in case he too was having a similar problem. Though, it seemed that Josh and Kai found Hayden and that was enough to quell a lot of what happened today. Soren did not have that opportunity yet. The mood was bright with Luke’s excited demeanor. “I don’t see why not. The sooner the better, right?” He grinned happier than he had been in a while even with how hard of a day his family had earlier. “All of my boys together. Josh, while you’re spreading the word to the rest of the group about their mandatory day off, I can make sure everyone knows about Luke’s change.” Ravi was stuck between not wanting to finish his food too fast because then he would feel obligated to take part in this or eat it faster so that he could potentially leave. It wasn’t that they were bad people. He liked them a lot. They would be fun to observe, but he felt so much like he didn’t belong. That was not their fault. They all welcomed him in so quickly. He was sure that it was a him problem. He was not meant to be around people.​