Fantasy ☾ eclipse of the heart.| (syntra + starboob = synboob.)

[Syntra]

A date. A date! It was totally inappropriate to date as a princess, of course-- bestowing your affections upon others like that was a sign of possessing a peasant’s mind, deep down in your heart. What was a date, after all, if not a trial ride? A way of saying ‘hmm, not sure if I really want to commit?’ And Selene, being the total prize that she was, deserved not such treatment! So, by all the strands of logic imaginable, this should have offended her beyond reason. ‘Are you saying that you don’t want to do right by me, Sol?’ ‘I never want to see you again.’ ‘Shove your buzzwords where the sun doesn’t shine, I have no need of healthy relationship progression and reasonable expectations!’ All of those reactions would have been suitable enough, Selene thought, and almost, almost she did say something like that. You know what prevented her from doing so, though? The absolute joy that the combination of the words ‘Sol’ and ‘date’ triggered, shining brighter than any star in the sky. By the Moon, what if I look like a jester? Am I even wearing proper clothes for a date? The loss of her eyesight hadn’t impacted her life as much as she had expected it to, but oh, was Selene lamenting it now! Winning the genetic lottery or not, some things could not be handwaved with her natural beauty-- for example, that wouldn’t save her from accidentally picking a pastel outfit. (The mere thought of that made the moon princess shudder. Her wardrobe contained no such vile pieces, she was sure, but what if Luna had sabotaged her? What if, in addition to her eyes, she had decided to take away her very dignity as well? Ugh. How come that we still don’t have the mortal equivalent of Google? Because I need to google ‘how to find out if you’re wearing pastel clothes,’ like, yesterday! …huh, Google. What was that? Some kind of fairly fashionable glasses, Selene concluded. 'Steampunk aesthetics' came to mind, though she dared not guess what was hiding behind that phrase.)

More words were being offered to her, and while Normal!Selene would have spat upon such a nasty gift, she couldn't very well do that now-- not paying attention was the greatest crime of dating, it seemed, so it wouldn't have been... uhh, strategic. Yes. (That, and maybe some part of her did find Sol's ramblings a little endearing. As long as you didn't take them too seriously, they were pleasant to listen to, weren't they? Kind of like an exotic parrot's strange little song, pretty but void of meaning. ...haha. See how great of a not-girlfriend Selene could be? Respecting the differences between them and such, even if it was obvious that Sol was missing more than a few cogs in that abomination that she called her brain. Truly, it didn't shock her that the role fit her like a glove-- deceiving her way into people's hearts was what a ruler did, and the only path to a harmonious relationship as well. As in, what else were you supposed to do? Open up, with all those inconvenient vulnerabilities and opinions that would only lead to conflict? Pfft! Conflicts were game over, which Selene wasn't at all keen to experience. ...princesses who failed, you see, didn't get to stay around to witness the aftermath. No, not how that worked. 'Next!' Luna would shout, with the exact same amount of care with which you'd throw away an old, leaky pair of boots, and then--)

"I have to agree. I can tell that zero percent effort went into this, too. Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate the classics, but why can't it be more of a Sisyphus and less of a... I don't know, the Sunday Church version?" the moon princess furrowed her brow. "It feels censored. Despite all the pointless violence, they somehow managed to sanitize it. Can you believe? There's not a single creative bone in their body, I'm telling you."

The denizens of the hell dimension just couldn't leave them alone, though, and while Selene did resent them for that, she also couldn't blame them-- after a literal eternity of 'oooh, burn for your sins, harlot,' their minds must have been desperate for fresh stimuli. And, really, why would they not flock to her? With all the awesomeness dripping from her pores, Selene must have attracted them like flames attracted moths! (...or like dogs were attracted to their own vomit. Just a matter of interpretation, really.) "Freeing the titans?" she repeated, her tone tainted with disbelief. "The titans were imprisoned because they intended to overthrow our divine mothers. Don't you know that? Is that sin not great enough to warrant eternal damnation?" Then again, the more Selene thought of it, the more reasonable it seemed. Luna and Helia were two of the worst goddesses that she knew, and no, it wasn't for a lack of suitable candidates! More and more, she was becoming convinced that the Moon would be better off if, say, a random snail ruled over it. Maybe even a worm. (Besides, wasn't it an honored moon court tradition to murder one's family? Luna herself had slaughtered her own mother in cold blood, and the pattern Selene saw there pleased her. Perhaps she does deserve her fair share of suffering, as a treat.)

"I have changed my glorious mind," she announced. "Let us go, Sol. Together, we will face our destiny." (Was that too clingy for their first day? Cringey, as all the cool kids would have said? Nonsense, Selene scoffed. I am the future queen, and thus exist in an entirely separate dimension. Cringe cannot touch me. ...unless Sol thinks I'm lame, oh my goddess, oh my goddess, oh my goddess!)

The titans, as it turned out, were chained together, chilling in a pit of lava-- rusted chains were binding them together, uncomfortably tight and burrowing into their flesh. (Wait, were they even chains? Because they were moving, and Selene was pretty sure that non-living things didn't generally do that. Like, not without her permission! That analysis turned out to be spot on, too, when the blasted thing started to speak.)

"Princess Selene? Princess Sol?" Selene couldn't tell how she knew, but the voice sounded creepy-crawly. If you asked her what a worm should sound like, then she would describe it exactly like that! "Has the time come for you to feast on the titans already? Well then, don't be shy, join me in the lava! I've been nibbling on them for centuries, but I did leave the best parts for you."

"Piss off," one of the titans mumbled. "Can't even fucking think of their own punishments, the dumbass anti-communication queens! This is some Prometheus-tier bullshit."

 

[starboob]

Vigilante justice does sound like a great first date idea to Sol! She's pretty much been a prison abolitionist since she discovered her mom is grossly pro-prison and this would be the perfect way to stick it to her mom––plus, if the weird flesh slug is to be trusted (and Sol totally trusts her), her mom won't even find out about her most recent rebellious stunt! (It'll be much better than when she put laxatives in everyone's pies, too, because this will cost major political points and resources rather than just being a hilarious headline blinking across her crystal ball. Haha, just imagine her mom's embarrassment when she discovers the titans are loose while she's fighting a whole other war with the royal Luna! No way this is going to backfire, nuh-uh.) "Ah, c'mon, Selene! Our moms are pretty much the worst so I think they deserve to have a few more thorns in their sides."

Even so, if Selene doesn't want to partake in this totally great first date idea, then Sol will resign herself to knowing she'll have to come back and free the titans on her own. Their first date needs to be fun for both of them if they are going to have a happy, healthy, and lasting courtship. (That may or may not result in secret little rendezvous and super secret weddings!! Ahh!!! The drama! The intrigue! Suck on that, pirates and princesses! They ain't got nothing on two young goddesses.) "But, if you insist, my sweet––"

Oh, nice. She really thought she was going to have to suffer through Selene's version of the ideal date. (That she imagines being something along the lines of feasting on the eyes of their enemies or something equally yucky. She would have gone along with it, if only to give it an honest chance, but it would not have been the key to the sunbeam's heart. She's pretty sure.) "Did you win an award for having a glorious mind? Or is that just something you say? Like, one of those positive affirmations you're supposed to say in the mirror every morning to start your day right? Usually, I just tell myself, 'You're gonna knock 'em dead, kid,' and 'Make 'em smile so big their faces break.' That's usually enough to amp me up for the day, but sometimes I do need to say a few more when I'm feeling particularly down. Maybe I'll add the glorious mind one to my arsenal, I think it's quite nice."

Sol is happy to continue prattling on about her morning routine and the joy of self love/self care but they arrive at their destination sooner than anticipated. Huh. She isn't underwhelmed by their appearance, per se, they are huge––like, they make her ten foot tall mother look like a freaking mouse––but she did expect more from their imprisonment. The lava was no doubt her mom's idea, but it doesn't even look like it's bothering the titan trio all too much. Even that multi-headed worm feasting on their flesh seems to be a minor annoyance. (But maybe that's the torture? Being eternally annoyed would be a pretty fierce punishment, tbh.) "Sorry, I'm committed to only eating special ladies' organs but I must respectfully ask you to cease your gnawing! As the ninth heiress to the Sun's power and princess of the Sun court, I command it!" She's never tried invoking her titles before, but this seems like a good time to do so. "We're doing a jailbreak, titans!"

"Fuck," one of them mutters, shifting around in the lava, "This again? Don't you have something better to do than piss off your mommy? This isn't going to fucking work––you've tried this already."

Before Sol can even ask questions another pipes in, "No, no, Alya, I know your eyes were feasted on around the time of the plague, but this one is clearly not the other one. She's a fucking runt in comparison. What are you––5'6? Pah, you shouldn't try something as bold as attempting to free the titans until you're at least eight feet tall. Isn't that right, Sigrid?"

"Eira, don't be so fucking rude," the third of the group, Sigrid, pipes in, "I, for one, would be endlessly amused watching these pups try to free us. Don't you think their failure would be most entertaining? Don't mind Alya and Eira, they were sour even in our prime."

"Okaaay." Sol rubs the back of her neck, unsure of what to make of any of this––like, are they all just insulting them? Or worse––are they triple dog daring them into freeing them to see whether or not they are weenies!? GASP! That realization puts an angry frown on her face. "Selene," she grabs her counterpart's hand, "they're totally calling us losers!" ("Because you are," Alya mutters. "The stench of your failure and disappointment can be detected from miles away.") "Let's prove 'em wrong," she finishes with steely determination.

The multi-headed worm sighs. "Fine, if you want to invoke the trials like your predecessor, then fine. But do not say you were not warned, children." And with that, the heads of the worm all break off and Sol's ready to jump to defend her not-gf, except the heads don't go after them. No, they burrow into the titans' heads and it becomes very clear that freeing the titans means defeating them. Gulp.

 

[Syntra]

Pah! Did these fools truly think you could gauge true greatness by one's size? Had the story of Davidia and Goliatha taught them nothing? Selene hadn't thought that the lesson was too difficult to grasp, but when your brain had all the computing power of the average potato, it probably could get difficult! "Silence, simpletons," she reprimanded. "We've come to rescue you, so some respect should be in order. Shouldn't you be falling all over yourselves just to thank us for our enlightened ways? I mean, we are risking eternal damnation here."

"Don't give me that bullshit," one of them, presumably Eira, scoffed. "You think I can't see what's going on, buttercup? You're just using us as some bizarre form of release for your mommy issues. 'Boo hoo, she was mean to me, so I'm gonna free her sworn enemies!' A brilliant fucking idea. What's your next grand plan? Making Luna step on Lego?"

"Eira," Sigrid scolded her. "It may be true, but it doesn't mean it's kind for you to say it. Haven't you learned that it doesn't pay off to be mean to developmentally stunted moon goddesses? You don't taunt the woman with a metaphorical rocket launcher in her metaphorical pocket!"

"Fuck off with your fucking metaphors," Eira mouthed. "I swear, this always happens whenever people start referencing Greek myths! Suddenly, they're like 'oooh, look at me, I am cultured because I know some story some fucker invented a million years ago.' Well, guess what? You aren't! That your mind defaults to tired fucking cliches is not something to be proud of. Like, you may as well base your entire existence around worshiping My Immortal."

"...can't we just let them burn in the hellfire? Pretty please?" Selene was pretty new to this 'committing selfless deeds' thing, after all, and she wasn't at all sure whether she was strong enough to waste her precious energy on people who she'd rather see dead. Wouldn't it ruin the entire experience for her? What if the pendulum swung back with great enough force for her to land straight in the super villain territory? (Villainesses were universally considered to be hot, but, but, but!!! What if Sol didn't like wanton crime? Not that Selene's entire self-worth relied on the sun princess approving of her, except that it did, somehow. Just, don't question it. That was a healthy milestone in pretty much any relationship! You know, the part where you decided you couldn't actually exist without that person and where you'd murder a bitch just for daring to look at them? Yep, 100% healthy.) "I mean, roasting food over a bonfire is can be a cute date idea as well," the moon princess suggested. "And I'd like to find out what titan-flavored marshmallows taste like. Do you think they'd be more marshmallows, or more titans? Luna always said that meat is too strong to be a proper condiment, but I believe in the power of marshmallows. They are, um, pink and cute, and in my head, you are pink and cute, too. Are you wearing anything pink right now, Sol?" Oh damn, damn, damn! What if the sun heiress thought she was some creep, hoping to derive sick pleasure from the clothes she had chosen to shroud herself in?! Ooof, no, her non-existent heart couldn't handle it if she were to be likened to some pathetic incel.

"I'm not asking to be weird!" Selene whined, blissfully unaware of the spectacle happening right before her sewn-together eyes. "It's just, umm... strange, not knowing what you look like. Would you say you're more of a flower goddess, or a bird goddess? I know you're technically a star goddess, but level with me. Myself, I'm definitely more of a bird type. Probably a bird with broken wings, too, because that's more metal, and also because I like the imagery. It, um, means that some wounds will never heal." Craaaaawling in my skiiiiiin! The melody had accompanied Selene throughout her entire life, sounding loud and clear in her eyes, and while she knew not where she remembered it from, the source simply had to be something majestic. The anthem of some faraway queendom, perhaps?

"Oh my goddess, the obnoxious bitch came all this way and she won't even pay attention to me?!" Eira especially seemed outraged over that, and the fire whip that materialized in her hand (or arm, because that distinction DOESN'T MATTER, SOF) flickered wildly, as if to agree with its mistress. "That's the most insulting thing I have ever fucking heard of, and once, a girl I liked told me that my face looked like a giant pimple. So like, I have experience with this shit." The whip cracked across the sky, powerful enough to rend the heavens in half, but Selene just... uhh, grabbed it in mid-air. Apparently, love had allowed her to level up? Or something like that. (Again, don't question it. Hadn't the wisdom of anime taught you all that, via the power of love and friendship, you could get the best power ups? Because if not, you should definitely learn from that ancient well of knowledge.)

"What's your favorite torture instrument, Sol?" she asked, in this distinctly 'blushing maiden' kind of way. (Absentmindedly, the moon princess swung the whip, and Eira flew a few feet backwards. The distant sound of 'Aaaaaah!' was all that remained of her, really.) "I feel like that can tell you a lot about a person."

"The disrespect!" Alya shrieked. "Just you wait-- we will see how you deal with the literal rain of fire. There's nowhere for you to escape, little princesses!"

 

[starboob]

Oh, wow! Sol hadn't expected to agree with Selene on something until at least their third 72 hour long lesbian goddess date, but here she is, agreeing with Selene that the titans should be a little more thankful. Like, she's obviously still going to try and defeat them so that she can free them, but she wishes they'd be a little less rude. It's not their fault they aren't tall! Sol is still waiting on her growth spurt––she's just a late bloomer is all. Is that such a crime? (Actually, she does think that Helia wants to make it a crime since she is so thoroughly disappointed with her daughter. In fact, she can recall several occasions where her mom didn't introduced her to Important Figures due to her height. Then when said Important Figures asked about the esteemed queen's daughter, she could tell they were holding back their laughter and snide remarks upon seeing her comparatively short stature. Like, are people forgetting that she meets the minimum height requirements for ANTM!? She's also super pretty so why can't her prettiness make up for her lack of inches? She's like twelve feet on the pretty scale!)

"Well," Sol puts her hands on her hips, "Maybe if we fail at this we'll add stepping on Legos to your punishment. Have you ever stepped on a red brick? It can ruin your whole freakin' day––so be prepared for a life of ruined days! If we lose, that is, but I'll have you know we're really good at being winners." Dude, who knew smack talk could be so fun! She's never given it a serious try before and now that she's dishing out some pretty devastating blows, if she does say so herself, she totally sees the appeal. Plus, she doesn't even feel mean about it since they started it. "Also, My Immortal is a total banger and a great ideology to get behind so try again, butt wipe."

Haha, that one was so good! She's just starting to get on a roll when Selene demands her attention and, being the good date that she is, she holds up her finger to the three titans trying to kill them, and gives her full attention to her date. "Aww, a campfire date would be super cute, Selene!" Naturally, she's going to try to encourage her counterpart's less murderous/creepy tendencies and ignore the part where she suggests they eat their fallen bullies. She'll focus on the compliments instead.

"Wow, aren't you the charmer," she laughs, pushing the moon daughter's shoulder playfully when she calls her both pink and cute. Like, she doesn't even know what she looks like (and seems to have no memories of her face from their childhood) and yet Sol's pretty privilege must transcends sight! Ugh, she always suspected this was the case and to have the confirmation is making her day. (This is almost better than the last best day of her life! You know, the one where her and Selene hung out in the moon court and the other heiress was actually pleasant and sweet.) "I'm wearing green, actually, but I'll wear something pink on our next date." Oh, oops. Is that being too presumptuous? Maybe. Maybe, but she's dug her grave so now she has to roll in it. "Well, assuming there is a next one. Maybe the next one can be a bonfire under the stars or something? I would love to tell you about some of my favorite star stories. Starries, if you will."

She rolls her eyes, unimpressed when Eira starts her yapping again. "Hello! I asked you to hold on for just a freaking minute. Clearly, we are in the middle of something so if you wanna get yourself freed, be freakin' patient, my dude." Of course, that's when Eira conjures a fire whip in her arm (nope, that's frigging weird!) and Sol's eyes double in size. Crap. ...Or, not? Because Selene catches the whip rather easily and just continues prattling on. It's both extremely sexy and super cute. 'Wow, she's so hot and intimidating. And such a dork, too. The dream gf,' she thinks as the titan is effortlessly flung several miles/kilometers away and a teeny tiny mushroom cloud appears on the horizon. 'That's gonna hurt in the morning four shore.'

"Favorite what now?" Did she really just ask Sol of all people what her favorite torture device is? She did. She really freaking did. The sunbeam's mouth hangs open in utter bafflement, but she tries to keep an open mind. (Good relationships don't involve changing your partner. They are all about appreciating your lover in her entirety.) "Well, not many have been used on myself and I've only read a few books on them during a brief morose phase I went through," she shrugs. "They all seemed kinda boring to me. Like, I dunno. All the pointy and stabby and buzzy and stretchy just gets tired, you know? I think they should try planting a garden together."

Similar to Selene, she doesn't think when the skies start to pour fire. All she does is raise her hand into the air and swirl her wrist around to collect the flames into a large swirl. She tightens the swirl into a ball that she casually flicks back towards Alya, hitting her square in the nose. That's definitely going to leave a mark. Oh, well. Face scars are cool. The titan stumbles backwards and then trips, hitting her head and totally KOing. "It would build more character, you know?"

Sigrid, in the background, decides to take a seat and watch the two goddesses flirt. A wise move given what happened to her sisters.

"And to your earlier, question––I think I'm a goddess of fungi. 'Cos I'm a fun-guy." Ah, so her mouth really made that noise and said that. It's a great joke, obviously, but also not original. She's gotta up her material if she wants to get the moon daughter to smile. 'Way to sound like a total dingus.' "Um, but for real, I'd be a fungi goddess because I'm weird, people don't understand me, and have the potential to grow really big."

"Ugh," Sigrid mutters, "Can we skip to the part where Selene fucks up already? This is painful to read."

"Also, you being an emo bird goddess makes me sad. I just wanna wrap you up and protect you forever, haha. You don't deserve to hurt. I know you don't remember our childhood much, but I remember you being quite great and I'd fight anyone who teased you." Oh, yeah, she totally forgot about her feisty era. Haha! Wow, she used to be such a rascal back in the day. "So maybe I'm also the Selene-defender goddess."

 

[Syntra]

Um. So, was it normal for your cheeks to burn like that? Nobody had set them on fire, Selene was pretty sure, and yet you could very well fry your eggs on them! ('This is what you get for associating yourself with the sun,' some unwelcome voice said. 'You simpering, pathetic fool. Don't you know what happens to the idiots who fly too close to it? Icaria's story wasn't meant to be a goddamn manual!' ...still, the feeling was blissful, and so Selene cast her doubts aside. Why not? 'Consequences' was a concept that only applied to lousy mortals, after all, and so there was no way burying her feelings would bite her in her royal ass later. Haha!) "Go on, Sol. Tell them like it is," Selene gripped her shoulder in a SupportiveTM way. (That was what dating entailed, right? Every single soap opera ever entailed a similar gesture, and while the moon princess certainly didn't watch such garbage, she, um, sensed it. Right. Goddesses knew everything, so questioning this only made you appear utterly ignorant.) "Sometimes, cretins need to be suckerpunched with the fists of truth! And they need to learn the fact that the contents of my chamber pot are infinitely more valuable than them."

"Hey!" Sigrid shouted. "Don't you know I literally created planets out of stardust? What did you do trump that? Ugh, youngsters these days! So damn disrespectful." She wasn't aggressive towards them, unlike her ill-fated sisters, but Selene still threw a knife at her, solely to appear cool. (Sol did think that knife throwers were cool, right? Right? Aaargh, how stressful! Perhaps the moon princess should order a few issues of Cosmopolitan-- their dating advice was legendary, if the rumors spoke true. Is there a 'how to date Sol' column, though? The doubts were knives in her mind, but they disappeared the second Selene realized that literally everyone wanted to date Sol specifically. So, to reach commercial success, they had to include something like that, right? Finally, capitalism is good for something!) "Green. Green is nice as well. I mean, you could be wearing a sack of potatoes and I wouldn't care," because she was blind, "but green does seem to emphasize your Sol-ness." Charmer! She'd called her a charmer, my goddess, my goddess, my goddess--

Torture device slander wasn't something Selene would ever stand for, though, and so she pursed her lips in disagreement. "What they look like matters not, Sol. Don't you know not to judge a book by its cover? It is important to judge what they do, and certain people just enjoy pain. Are you saying they aren't valid? Tsk, tsk. That is not very kind of you, to reject an oppressed minority like that. Just try to imagine yourself in their shoes! If I had to be tortured, for example..." a dreamy expression settled in her eyes, "hmm, I would definitely choose the iron maiden for that. I would like to feel like I'm being hugged while they tear me to shreds." ...yeah, that definitely didn't speak of any deeper issues! Selene officially held the title of the most well-adjusted of Luna's daughters, so that had to mean something. "But maybe we can build a garden and plant torture devices together! That is called a compromise, Sol. I have read that those are essential to maintaining a relationship," Selene nodded sagely. (Wait, maintaining? Were they even together? Aargh, why didn't the universe grant her all the answer on a silver platter?! Princesses shouldn't have to think too deeply about things, for wasting your brain power like that gave you wrinkles. That, of course, would have been a national tragedy, akin to smearing shit all over the Mona Lisa portrait.)

"You do seem mushroom-y to me," the moon princess nodded. She would have loved to add more, too, but that Sol called herself a Selene-defender? Alright, that erased her entire vocabulary in seconds. "Um. Ah. I, hmm, don't know what to say?" (Nobody had ever been this nice to her. The sun as well might have started rising in the west, because those patterns were being rewritten so hard that Selene could hear the fabric of reality being ripped apart. Could this mean that there really was someone for her? Someone to l*ve her, maybe?)

"I'm sorry I was so nasty to you at the beginning," she said, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly. "And in the middle, and about five seconds ago. I, um, I think I saw you, and I couldn't deal with how brightly you shone. You were everything I was never allowed to be and that made me angry, I suppose. I wanted to re-make you in my own image." Wow, honesty! It felt foreign on her tongue and the intensity almost made her back away, but instead, Selene took a step closer. "How can I make it up to you? I can steal a bit of azure for you from the sky-- not like those arrogant stars need it, anyway."

 

[starboob]

This. This is exactly what the sunbeam has always wanted. This is all she's ever wanted! A friend. A best friend. (Maybe more? ...She should probably try to cool it. Like, yes, they are lesbians but they don't need to move that fast. ...Ah, they better not walk past any U-Haul equivalents. Just to be safe.) The supportive shoulder squeeze sends tingles down her spine, lighting up her entire body with mini fireworks. Especially in her hearts. "I can be pretty mean with my words, it's one of my many talents. I-I just prefer to be nicer. It's free and I like seeing people smile and I think the Sun has done enough damage so why not be the kind that makes people smile instead, y'know?" And even though Sol is smiling brightly on the outside, she is inwardly chastising herself for revealing her pipe dream fantasies to Selene who usually makes fun of those. (Of course, she's been on pretty good behavior since they reunited in the demon realm, but still!! What if this is the straw that breaks her composure?)

At Sigrid's insistence on being an interruptive butthead, she uses that to distract her worries and casts her a rare powerful glare. (When her lip curls like that, it's easy for anyone to see her resemblance to Helia.) "You fools created lousy floating rocks. What would earth be without the Sun to warm her and the moon to stir her oceans? Pfft, you all were content with ruling over a cool art project, but we," she gestures between herself and Selene, "decided to create life! So suck my tit, has-been!" Ah, she hopes Selene squeezes her shoulder again for that one. She put all her mental effort into crafting that sucker punch of truth and she reallyreallyreally wants to impress her date so that maybe she will be inclined to go on more dates. (And, pathetic as it is, perhaps it will also keep Selene on her nice behavior. She's much more fun to be around when she is not being a raging butthead and Sol desperately needs someone who she can vibe with if she is to spend the rest of her immortal life in the heavens with all the other raging buttholes.)

Thankfully they won't have to worry about Sigrid and her interruptions anymore, since it's probably hard to talk with a knife lodged in one's windpipe. 'Wow.' Color Sol impressed, tbh. She has her sight and still can't throw anything with that level of accuracy. (In her mind she's already writing a 200K+ AU fanfic where Selene is a princess in shining armor saving Sol, also a princess, from evil pegasi who are trying to feast on her bones.)

Though when Selene starts to go on about being a torture device rights activist/kink apologist, she's pulled from her fantasies and purses her lips, mirroring her counterpart's disapproval. The way she talks about them is so creepy it makes her skin crawl. It also strikes her as sad. "There are better ways to get hugs, you know. You can always ask? I'd hug you if you asked," she says, trying to hide her contempt with half-success. It's clear she doesn't agree with the other goddess and it's also clear that she's trying to make an effort to not be so judgmental. Judgment is her mom's thing. "Also, I think you mean repressed. Either way, I wouldn't reject them. I would just ask how they're doing and if they want to examine those psychological associations where pain = pleasure. So long as they've worked through their issues, then who am I to judge? It's just not my thing. Besides, most people say being in my presence is torture so I think if I had to choose my favorite torture device, it'd be me. I'm the best."

She could ramble on and on about the subject, as she could ramble on and on about most things, but... But then Selene apologizes. Apologizes and seems to mean it, too. Her jaw drops to the floor, never ever having expected this from Selene or anyone for that matter. No one apologizes to her. Ever. Most people regard her as highly as they would a wine stain on their finest dress and so people tend to think it's okay to treat her as if her feelings don't matter. (It hurts, of course, but Sol doesn't like letting the b-words get her down so she tries to think nothing of it and doubles down on her usual sunny disposition. She knows who she is and what she's worth, and it's also nice when people acknowledge her worth by apologizing.) It's touching and honestly means so much to the sunbeam––so much so she can easily imagine giving herself over to the moon entirely. (Did she completely miss Selene's admission that she tried to manipulate her? Most definitely.)

"Get rekt..." she mutters, not able to think of anything else or anything appropriate to say. Her mouth hangs agape, still, totally bewildered and unsure of how to even react to that. (Geez, this really might be the best day of her young life.) "I mean, thanks? You were a total butthead, but I guess I don't blame you. You were my mom's prisoner and were being forced to spend every waking minute with me and while that should be a reward, I know I exhaust people. So, I guess I don't blame you. It hurt, tbh, because I just wanted to be your friend so bad and wanted to make you smile but you weren't interested. That's okay, of course. My efforts were misguided given our circumstances. I guess I'm just sorry it took me so long to figure out the seal––I probably wouldn't've been able to if you hadn't helped me fuse with the essence of the phoenix."

She scratches her cheek, still processing this entire development of Selene's character. Though that's entirely interrupted when her counterpart closes some of the distance between the two of them, short circuiting her brain for a moment. Her face flushes and she feels the phoenix's in her stomach flapping wildly––enough that she thinks she'll float away if she gets anymore excited. "You're making me feel like I'm in a fairytale," she giggles, "But no need to steal some color from the sky, sweet as that is, I just want you to be real with me," after all, a changed behavior is the best apology, "Then we can really find out if we're friend material or maybe... or maybe something more."

 

[Syntra]

So, just for the record, Sol had her creation myth wrong. Completely and utterly, too! The sun had always been a parasite, feeding on the moon's genuine efforts-- it had created nothing, for no living organism could survive the scorching heat. You know what it was decent at, though? At rewriting the narrative. At centering itself, and drawing the attention of everyone as if it was a black hole. 'Look at me,' the sun begged, 'and praise me. Be thankful I haven't erased your pitiful existence yet.' Which, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic! ...and yet Selene couldn't bring herself to rain on Sol's parade, as the other princess doubtlessly would have said. "Good job," she heard herself say. "A finely crafted insult. You could have mocked their bloodline some more, but otherwise, you get... ah, a lot of points for creativity. I appreciate the attention to detail." Ugh! Was she supposed to be reviewing Sol's insults during their first date? And, if so, would including a numerical score be too much? Selene found numbers nice and calming, but for other people, they introduced pressure! I really should have secured that Cosmopolitan before coming there, the moon princess thought. Why oh why haven't I secured an emergency issue?!)

"W-what?" Selene stuttered. "I can just... ask?" The revelation was entirely mind-blowing, and she did her best to prevent her brain from exploding once the dust settled a little bit. "I thought there was a law against that," the moon princess admitted. "I mean, the hugs economy must be terribly unbalanced as is, and this doesn't strike me as the best idea to keep it afloat. It lowers the value quite significantly, you see? The fact that you can just... receive it for free. In exchange for nothing." Yes, that was the definition of free, but Selene still thought she had to elaborate! Except that, as usual, the moon princess somehow managed to destroy everything in the process. (Those implications... no, they weren't good. They weren't good, and she didn't even need the Cosmopolitan to unearth that arcane knowledge!) "Not that I think your hugs are worthless, of course," she said, attempting to perform some damage control. "I'm just, um, trying to make sure that the market doesn't get flooded with hugs. Scarcity is the main predictor of value, and, um... I guess I would like for you to be able to retire early?" Haha, score! It only took a few minutes of awkwardness (and about a half of her life-span, tbh) for Selene to turn everything around. No longer was she a heartless bitch-- no, now she cared for Sol's well-being. (That part was still a little strange. As in, super mega strange. Unironically caring for others despite the fact they a) weren't nearly as smart as her, b) weren't her did seem odd, but not in an unpleasant way. Kind of like discovering a new favorite flavor of ice-cream?)

"Oh, I would love to be tortured by you," Selene smiled. "I bet you'd strike that perfect balance between pain and... uh, more pain. I suppose. Say, Sol, how would you destroy me? Don't hold back." (In the background, the titans rolled their eyes. Couldn't the two disasters, like, get a fucking room? Watching the princesses attempt to flirt was the equivalent of witnessing a one-winged bird try to fly, and that was just so fucking sad that you couldn't even make fun of it. Not if you wanted to keep your soul, anyway.)

"Get undressed already," Sigrid recommended to them. "I don't really get why goddesses always pretend that that isn't why they're dating, but it's just insincere, you know? Like claiming that you adore your job because you just love performing pointless repetitive tasks, instead of actually receiving money."

"Shut up!" Selene shouted, her cheeks redder than a tomato. "I have no such intentions with Sol. I mean... maybe I do, but only if it wouldn't be weird! And only if she wants to, too." Ugh, that 'caring about the feelings of others' thing really was intensely uncomfortable. Just, how was she to center anyone who wasn't her? How did that make any sense? Selene was Selene, and other people... weren't. Ewww. Thankfully, however? Thankfully, Sol understood, because she proceeded to center her viewpoint as well!

"Real with you," Selene repeated, wondering what she could share to make herself seem authentic. (The option to actually open up? To reveal herself to her, and exist in that vulnerable state? That never even crossed her mind, tbh. Alright, so I need to tell her something that is technically a secret, but not a big deal.) "I shall be real with you, then." Gently, the moon princess grabbed her hands. "How would you feel if I told you I wasn't Selene? Or rather, that nobody is Selene?"

Yay, exciting plot developments! ...or so you might think. The second the moon princess finished her sentence, you see, the ground shook. "My goddess, this is the worst fucking flirting I've seen in literal years!" And, if Selene could use her eyes? She'd see that a heart-shaped mushroom emerged from goddess-knew-where, her expression the very incarnation of judgment. "Look, I just can't bear to exist in the same dimension as you two anymore. Just, don't. I will free the titans for you, yada yada, no worries. In exchange, will you play the Cupidess for me? I mean, I am the Cupidess, so technically, you'd be substituting for me! I want you to make earthly women fall in love and watch how normal fucking couples work. It will be a learning experience. Oh, and you'll need this!" By 'this,' it turned out, the mushroom meant a bow and a quiver, both hot pink and surrounded by ~lovey~ aura. Woo hoo, awesome!

 

[starboob]

The hug economy? That sounds like something out of a nightmare––imagine trying to monetize something as good and sweet and warm and safe as a hug! What an evil world and a much eviler thought. (Does this count as one of those elusive red flags that Sol never seems to spot until she's tangled up in them like a toddler trying to fight their way out of a blanket? Mmm, probably not, she decides. Clearly this just means that she needs to teach Selene that the value of a hug never depreciates just because there is a sudden market flood. Or however the economy works. Sol is a goddess and therefore above concepts like the economy––a twisted religion she cannot believe humans follow.) The sunbeam sighs and runs a hand through her hair as if exhausted and unsure what to do with her companion. "That's not how hugs work. Or affection in general. Why are you even talking about economics? That's a fake concept that cannot hold any water. Because it's fake," she nods, slowly inching closer and closer to her counterpart. There's the immediate temptation to pull her into a hug and wrap her up so that she knows what a hug is and that one really can never not want one, but she holds back the temptation. Mostly because she wants their first hug to be special. Their first kiss was already a lot and so she thinks their first hug needs to make up for that fiasco and she doesn't think their first hug will be that magical if it's in front of those nosy freaking titans. "I'll take you to my favorite hug spot later and show you the power of a really solid hug. It's like being wrapped in a goddess blanket," not that she's received too many hugs from other goddesses or anyone in general, "and you just feel really nice. It's a feeling that can never lose its value. Kind of like certain Pokémon cards."

Though when the conversation eventually turns back to torture, Sol has to wrinkle her nose in response. Yeah, yeah. She gets that she brought up being a torture device, but she didn't think that Selene would actually take to that. Then again, she should have known better since it was her counterpart who introduced this entire torturous topic. Big sigh. "Uh, I wouldn't! Why would I want to hurt you? I mean, yeah, you have hurt my feelings before but that's not enough for me to want to torture someone. I don't think there's anything that would make me want to torture anyone." (This is not a challenge to the powers that be, btw.) "I would want to shower you in kisses and stuff. ...Wait. You don't want to to torture me, do you? That would not be my––"

Oh. Right. They are supposed to be defeating the titans so that they can free them or whatever. (Why are they doing that again?) The commentary on their disastrous flirting is not at all needed but it is rather shocking to see Selene so flustered over Sigrid's suggestions. It's not as though she hasn't already propositioned Sol before. Granted, Sol was not down (and still isn't) but she would have thought the great Selene wouldn't be so weird about it. She could have just politely told Sigrid that this is none of her beeswax. Unfortunately, the time to comment on that is interrupted when Selene drops that particular truth bomb. 'What the––?' Part of her is convinced that Selene is just messing with her, but she's apparently not allowed to know what a lack of Selene means with the arrival of the sexy mushroom.

"Is it a coincidence that Cupidess rhymes with stupidest?" Sol asks, tilting her to the side innocently. "And why are you a mushroom? I have never heard of mushrooms making people fall in love––well, I guess magic mushrooms might make you a little more lovey... And I guess a nice bundle o foraged mushrooms would be the key to my heart, but. I dunno. Shouldn't you be a rose?"

"And shouldn't you be a bright obnoxious ball of hot gas?"

"Alright, I kinda deserved that one but that still hurt," she pouts, taking the bow and arrow set anyway because it's pretty and she's always wondered whether or not she has archery lesbian potential. However, before she can even properly check out the set, swirls of pink hearts dance around the two heiresses and they're immediately hurled towards Earth.

When they plop out of the warp, they don't appear to be back in their alleged hometown. They're in the middle of some concrete jungle of a city and honestly Sol could not think of less romantic place to be––not only for their first date but for their mission to make mortal women fall in love. How are they supposed to do that when the ambience is a mixture of honking cars and sirens? When people are shoving past them like they don't matter? And when everyone looks incredibly grumpy? This is no place for romance! ...Also, Sol doesn't really want to make people fall in love. Messing with people's brain chemicals should not be her job as the future (puppet) Sun goddess. "Wanna teach me how to shoot a bow and arrow? I know you are into your claws and such, but I feel like you know about other weapons, too. You just give me proficient at weapons vibes. The last time I tried out archery, I was told that six people got injured. Then when I tried out a sword, I almost chopped my own arm off. My hammer is pretty cool, but it's really heavy and, tbh, I want something a little cuter than a meat tenderizer." (Did she forget that Selene is blind and that archery involves some level of sight? Yes.)

 

[Syntra]

“No, no, quite the contrary,” Selene protested. “It makes a lot of sense. Mushrooms are poisonous and disgusting, and love, no offense, is kind of like that as well. I mean, maybe not the disgusting part,” regardless of what Luna had told her, “but the toxicity? It absolutely is there. When something rewires your brain this significantly, I would argue that the substance is harmful.”

“Yeah? I, on the other hand, would argue that you existing is harmful,” Cupidess frowned. “The kids these days, I swear! Love is the greatest one can possibly receive, and, like, one of the few things that won’t backfire on your pitiful asses. If you treat your partner right, that is.” (Spoiler alert: That surely wasn’t going to be Selene’s problem. Nuh uh! The moon princess was great at respecting people, as long as they respected her as well. Of course, in her dictionary, the definition of the word ‘respect’ tended to vary depending on the identities of the respecter and the respectee-- in relation to her, for example, it was perhaps a little closer to ‘worship’. The great Selene deserved that, didn’t she?) “Just go, you ungrateful brats. Go, and learn something new about the feeling that makes the world go round!” Long after both of the princesses disappeared in a puff of smoke, the mushroom smirked. “You’ll need it, I’m sure. And enjoy the peace while it lasts-- considering the shitstorm that is brewing right above your silly heads, you are going to appreciate it pretty soon.”

Sadly, Selene wouldn’t really describe her experience with the Earth as ‘enjoyable.’ In fact, if she were to reach for some descriptive words, most of them wouldn’t be what you’d call nice, or even necessarily polite. Just, why did this dump even have to exist? Solely for the goddesses to be reminded of their own superiority each and every day? Because Selene didn’t need the reminders-- a being like her, woven out of pure moonlight, was better than others by default. Even other deities should be bowing as she walked by, thankful for the chance to rest their unworthy gazes upon her! (Well, maybe except Sol. Sol was welcome to look at her, as long as she agreed that she was pretty. And, um, the sun heiress did think that, didn’t she? For considering her anything other than absolutely stunning was illegal, and most likely a symptom of some insidious mental disorder as well. Self-care, ladies and gentlemen! Sol finding her hotter than chicken vindaloo absolutely was that. No ulterior motives to be found there, nuh uh.)

“This is stupid,” Selene offered her opinion, without even bothering to ask herself if anyone cared. “Why should we care about mortals’ frivolous lives? I mean, all of those sacks of meat are going to die within the blink of an eye, so the efforts sure do feel wasted. To me, this is the proof that Cupidess has nothing to do with her time. Want to return and pull some strings instead? If we put our minds to it, I am certain that we could demote her. Instead of the goddess of love, she could be… hmm… the goddess of toilets? We do need one, so I’m thinking this would be one of those two birds, one stone situations.” And, ah, what was more romantic than bureaucracy? They would lean over old, dusted parchments together, perhaps touch each other’s elbows accidentally, and… damn, it was getting hot here. No doubt about that! ‘Tell me about all the naughty, naughty things in there, Sol,’ she would have pleaded. ‘How many typos can you count within one minute? How many violations of the Lesser Known Regulations? Reveal all of it to me, if you dare.’ The fantasy set her mind on fire, and her blood as well, but then… well, then Sol suggested the one (1) thing that could possibly top it. Just, weapons and violence? Every girl’s trusty companions for sure, and so it made sense to the moon princess that they would accompany her on her way to romance as well. (Also, wow, wow, wow!!! Did this mean Sol thought she was cool? Being good at killing things = being super cool, obviously enough. Don’t mess up, Selene! Continue to score like that, and she will be confessing her undying love to you before you can even say ‘deep-seated emotional issues.’ Haha!)

“I am happy to inform you that your hunch is right,” Selene nodded, her chest swelling with pride. “There is no weapon in this universe that does not call me its mistress. All of them know better than that, for that know that in my hands, they shall sing.” So what if the moon princess’s eyes were sewn together? Pfft, seeing was for absolute amateurs! Her heart knew how to find the target, much like the moon knew instinctively how to pull at the sea tides.

“You only need to hold the weapon firmly,” Selene instructed her, “like this. It needs to feel safe with you-- once it believes you shall deliver its arrows where they belong, it will cooperate. Look closely.” Selene drew the bow, as easily as lesser women might take a breath, and then she released it! …piercing both Sol and a random mortal passerby who was just walking her dog in the nearby park. Uh oh.

 

[starboob]

"Oh, well, I think the ephemeral nature of human existence kind of makes love the only thing they have to look forward to, no?" Okay, where did that even come from? Is it possible that there is a functional brain that exists somewhere between the sunbeam's ears that only ever comes out every once in a blue moon? Clearly, this is just a day for everything to be malfunctioning––from Selene being pleasant to Sol being an apparent philosopher. "But, yeah, this is totally a dumb assignment. I don't want to my job so why would I want to do the Cupidess's job? Seems like she is trying to bring the concepts of 'internships,' aka modern indentured servitude, to the celestial realm and idk if I can vibe with that. Sort of cramps my style as a free spirit." At least they are in agreement that the assignment is dumb and that means there's a good chance that Selene will go along with Sol's plan! Plan being loosely defined, of course, because all she has right now is, 'have fun and be yourself :^)' She also doesn't think she needs anything more than that, but her companion probably would like a bit more structure for their day since the stick up her butt is still in place. (Well, according to the primordial mothers' earlier assessment. Sol thinks it might have loosened a bit since Selene has yet to attack anyone for not kissing the ground she walks on. ...Yikes, she really does not want another combination Taco Bell/KFC incident. She still shudders and gets embarrassed thinking about that fiasco.) "Why stop at making her the goddess of toilets? Let's make her the goddess of huge dog dookies," she giggles. "Yeah, that could fun––we should totally do it. I can't imagine it'd be that hard."

Typically, Sol is a terrible student––Selene probably remembers this from her short stint trying to teach her about the fine art of mastering dinner cutlery––however this time around the sunbeam's attention is entirely rapt watching the moon daughter at work. The bow does look natural in her hands, she has to agree. (What would it be like to be handled that expertly by the moon princess? Haha. Oops.) "What else can you make sing?" Sol asks, rather innocently and most likely not realizing the suggestion in her question.

Carefully, she observes the moon daughter's form and tries to memorize it for herself. She makes it look easy, like she was born with a bow and quiver in her hand. In contrast, Sol is convinced she'd look like a walking safety hazard trying to wield the archery set. "Would you say it's important to take a––" her eyes widen as the moon daughter draws the bow, aimed directly at Sol. "Wait, wait, Sele––"

Too late.

The arrow does in fact sing as it sails through the air and pierces through Sol's hearts and then lands in some woman behind her. While the arrow had hit her, there is no evidence of injury. In fact, Sol has honestly never felt better than she does right now with her head and heart filled to the brim with cotton candy. Her eyes soften (more so than they already were) as she spins around to look at the woman who she is so, so desperate to meet all of a sudden. (Suddenly, it's like Selene doesn't even exist.) Her hands rise to her chest as she gazes at the woman, who is equally looking at Sol like all the mysteries of the universe have been solved.

Despite the street being busy, Sol throws caution to the wind and races across to meet the Certified Love of Her Life. She doesn't even wait to give the woman a proper introduction, she just wraps her arms around the woman, laughing, and lifts her up and spins her around. "I've been waiting my whole entire life to meet you!"

"Me too––wow, we have so much in common already! What's your name? Gosh, you're the prettiest gal I've ever seen."

"Aw, thanks! I'm a goddess. My name is Sol and I'm guessing you're..." she thinks for a minute, setting the woman down and then threading her fingers through the woman's curls. 'Wow, she's so pretty. It's almost unbearable.' "Uh, give me a hint? I'm not good at guessing names."

"Lorelei," she smiles. "A pleasure to meet you, Sol the goddess. Would you like to bake brownies and then plan our wedding? Also, who is that murderous looking woman with the archery set? Aren't those illegal to carry in public?"

 

[Syntra]

So, um. This had to be a dream, right? Or, more accurately, a nightmare wearing a dream's skin, thanks to jumping it in a dark alley and flaying it alive. There was no other explanation for the sequence of events that had just transpired! No, this wasn't the result of Selene ignoring basic safety rules. Just, the concept of the cause and consequence? That was for suckers-- for silly mortals, bound by the invisible thread of fate. A goddess such as herself didn't need to bother herself with examining any of that. No, it had only happened because... uhh, because the mushroom wished to sabotage their great love? Yes, yes! More than likely, it had realized just how pathetic it was in comparison to them, and figured it had to bring them down to its level. That, after all, was the standard response to such situations. (And also, also, treachery was written in pretty much any mushroom's DNA. Indeed, the theory was bullet-proof! ...too bad that figuring out the reason behind this couldn't bring her Sol back, though.)

"Sol!" Selene shouted. "Sol, stop being ridiculous. You don't even know the woman. Weren't you the one who said something about, I don't know, us having to learn who we are as people?" A ridiculous idea, mostly because Selene was Selene and thus better than everyone else by default, but now it actually suited her purposes! (...what? Some hypocrisy had never killed anyone. It wasn't her fault that other people sucked and she didn't-- so much, at least, she could see even with her eyes sewn shut.)

"What do you know about this clown?" she arched her eyebrow. "Lorelei, pfft! You deserve more than a Gilmore Girls knock off, Sol." Someone like her, for example. A woman both charming and intelligent, ruling over more than just her own bladder, and... wait. Wait, wait, wait! Was Sol not listening to her? Even worse, was she seriously paying attention to that ugly ape? Selene had sort of assumed that her speech would melt the effects of the bow like the sun melted ice-cream, but no, apparently! (...oh. Oh no. What if Sol had truly fallen in love with that pathetic imitation of an actual person? With the NPC? The moon princess had only known she desired the sunbeam for about five seconds, but already, she had built her entire identity around it. Just!!! Could you imagine how cute their children would be? They'd have Sol adorableness genes, and her ruthlessness as well, and with their powers combined, the galaxy would fall. Why, then, did she insist on wasting her time on a mortal?)

"I am Selene," she frowned, "and I am a goddess as well. Excuse me, but you are intruding upon my love story. Can you go die in a ditch, or whatever it is that you mortals do when you are spurned? I have to say, your very presence bores me."

Lorelei, that cursed harlot, only giggled. "Oh? But the lady wants me, not your clingy ass. Besides, don't you know that, like, goddess x mortal is the most romantic pairing? There's a lot of tension and drama, unlike in that boring princess x princess set up. Like, what is the appeal supposed to be? The boring politics, or the way you don't challenge the status quo at all? Go home, goddess Selene! I'm sure I can think of a way to keep Sol here entertained. What do you think, my love?" she wrapped her arm around her Sol's shoulder. (How did Selene know? Due to her jealousy radar, mostly. A super convenient plot device, so of course that she would have one! ...besides, the moon princess could also sense the way their auras mixed. Disgusting, if you asked for her opinion-- much like pouring sewage into the most delicious wine.) "Do you want to go to my apartment and see if I can kiss better than your friend over here? I bet those thin lips of hers can't do half the things I can. Like, that's just science."

Which, in reaction to that? In reaction to that, Selene saw red. "Say your prayers now, insolent wench!" It only took a second for her silver claws to come out, and then, like any reasonable person would, the moon princess targeted her throat. Cutting the artery should end her fast enough, right? Ah, stupid mortals and their stupid, fragile ways!

 

[starboob]

Love, Sol knows, is a wild and fickle thing. No one ever knows when they are going to find it and it is often said that you find it when you are not even looking. Having experienced this for herself not even five seconds ago, she wholly backs that idea. While she doesn't remember what she had been doing before meeting Lorelei––an objectively wife-material name, btw––she knows she had not been looking for love. Nope, not at all! She just turned around to see this gorgeous babe and her cute little pupperoni and KnewTM that she had found her person. So what if she doesn't know anything about her? Love is a feeling and that means you feel it! You don't need to know it. It's not a test that you study for, nerds!

To say the least, Sol is entirely smitten with the love of her life and feels #blessed to have found her so young in her immortal life. (She'll ignore the sad parts of their immortal x mortal pairing for, like, another 50 years. No point in paying debts she does not yet owe! Besides, being a literal goddess she imagines she can deus ex machina this one and make her hottie lamottie wife immortal via finding a magic well or something equally fantasy-like.) Her arms loop around Lorelei's waist and she's tempted to just kiss her for the first time here and now, but decides against it. Their first kiss ought to be special––especially since she's lacking in the special first kiss department. (Youch.) "Murderous looking woman? Archery set?" Sol repeats dumbly. Reluctantly, she tears her eyes away from the love of her life (wait, what color are Lorelei's eyes even?) and looks across the street towards... Selene. Right. Selene, the moon daughter, who she had been hanging out with not even five minutes ago. What had they been doing again? Oh, yeah, they had been going on a date. Oof, this is real awkward then, but rejection is a part of life and she's reasonably certain that Selene will understand that things between them just weren't meant to work out the second Sol's eyes landed on Lorelei "Sexy" [insert last name here]. Besides, the moon princess has mostly hated her and they have only been getting along for less than an entire day so it's not like Selene can be that invested.

... Or, apparently she can.

"Well, sometimes you just know when you've met the love of your life," again, youch. "I have my whole life to get to know Lorelei and my hearts just know they are in love with her. Oh, shoot––" her eyes widen in horror, "was it too early to admit that?"

"No, we're lesbians. In fact, we're late to our U-Haul pick-up––I booked us one approximately five seconds after seeing you." Aww, how sweet! Lorelei even knows how to stay organized since her goddess-future-wife is an entire mess when it comes to planning! This is just proof that they were meant to be, Sol thinks. Anyway, she pecks her future wife's cheek and turns her attention back to the enraged Selene.

"You shouldn't just wish death upon people who ruin your love life. Besides, we were just testing out our potential so we weren't even that serious." Once more, YOUCH. Sol could really benefit from learning the pitfalls of brutal honesty. "I'm sure we can find a suitable mortal for you to fall in love with as well. Then we can go on cute little double dates and work together to find a cure for our wives' mortal affliction. That would be so fun. I bet the secret to long life is hidden in the DNA of our mushroom comrades."

When Lorelei slings an arm over Sol's shoulder and makes her suggestions, the sunbeam flushes, not even caring that she just insulted Selene in about a thousand different ways. That officially means that she's over her counterpart if she's not going up to bat for her and is, instead, wrapping herself up in this mortal woman who she barely knows. "Ohhh, how about instead of your apartment we––"

A flash of silver catches her eye and when her eyes flit over to her companion, it's already too late. Blood splatters and spurts all over Sol's face and clothes and Lorelei's limp body is dead in her arms (R.I.P. Lorelei [Last Name Unknown] 2021-2021). If the moonbeam had hoped that would break the Cupidess's spell then she is sorely, sorely mistaken. (In fact, if one listens closely enough they can hear the mushroom laughing in the background and... is that the smell of popcorn cooking?) The young goddess looks absolutely crestfallen that the love of her life has been taken from her so soon. Her lower lip trembles, tears the size of apricots form in her eyes, and she sets the bleeding body down on the concrete. (For now, she does not address the moon daughter's maladjusted coping strategies.) She presses her palm to the gash, trying to stop the flow of blood, but even with her healing capabilities, Selene's claws tore out her entire throat and she cannot fix that lickity split. (If only she were as powerful as her mom then maybe... then maybe she could fix this! But she can't, because she's a weak little goddess who is watching the love her life die. She's dying before Sol even has the chance to marry her or know her favorite color or the best ways to annoy her... )

"L-Lorelei––I... there's so much I wanted to say to you and so much I wanted us to do together! Like, invent the perfect banana bread recipe and see who can say the ABCs backwards the fastest and burp our wedding vows..." she sobs. Lorelei only gurgles something out in response (it's either 'I love you, Sol' or just the noise blood makes when it's, uh, clogging someone's throat). However, Sol seems to know that there is no point in negotiating with a dead woman. But you know who she can take her grievances out on? The murder-goddess responsible for the love of her life's murder.

Her eyes snap up to Selene, dangerously close to looking as those she is going to vaporize this entire city if things move even a hair in the wrong direction. "You," she spits, flames gathering around her feet and spiraling up her arms. "You killed the love of my life! Why don't you want me to be happy?! I thought you wanted to maybe try making me happy, but, noooo! That's not what you want, you selfish assdragon!"

 

[Syntra]

Ah, good old murder. A wonderful solution to pretty much anything! Someone was better than you at your favorite hobby? Yeah, stick a knife in their back and see how well they do now. Had a villain stolen the last piece of pizza you had wanted to claim for yourself? Reclaim it from their torn, bleeding stomach! Or, more relatedly, was a love spell giving you trouble? A love spell that, for all intents and purposes, should have been outlawed as a gross violation of bodily autonomy? Straight up murder your """rival""" and watch the reality fall back to its old patterns, much like a kaleidoscope changed its form once you shook it a bit. (No, of course that Sol hadn't really meant what she'd said. How could she? She was Selene, Luna's only heiress, and Lorelei was trash they'd randomly picked off the ground. Who in their right mind would choose a rotting banana peel over the diamond that she was? Because that was the level of bad trade Sol was agreeing to here, essentially. Just, pfft! Goddess x mortal was the corniest trope in existence-- a pathetic, desperate bid for relevance, cooked up in the minds of those who mattered less than ashes. Only they could have come up with something as... as demeaning. I shall murder the impostor, and reap the rewards. Sol will thank me, won't she? Because she l*ves me. I'm too good not to be l*ved. Her own mother had never bothered to do so, but hey, what did that matter? Surely, that wasn't a tendency or anything like that, hahaha! (Selene hoped. Selene wished, with all of her non-existing heart, because the other option... the other option would have been too much for her to bear.)

"Alright," the moon princess cleaned her claws casually before kicking the corpse away, "that is done, then. I have freed you from the disgusting parasite that meant to drag you down to her level. Yes, yes, I know what you want to say," Selene raised her palm. "Thank you, great Selene, for saving me from such a disgrace. Forever, I shall be indebted to you. Now, do you want to go to Lorelei's apartment and put her bed to good use?"" Of course, the moon princess never would have dreamed of such a thing. Never, never, never! ...unless Sol happened to be interested in that kind of thing, maybe. It was crude, of course, in a way that could only ever be called trashy, but perhaps it could be spun as revenge? And revenge, as everyone knew, was sacred. (An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. In that context, a marital bed for a marital bed made sense, right? The goddesses of fanfiction-tier excuses demanded it! Showing Sol what real pleasure was, in what was to be their home, was the only way to one-up the corpse that had wanted to take everything from her. ...what? That was a very healthy response, in case you were interested. The pinnacle of healthy emotional development!) "There is no need for you to do so, however. I know your mind as well as I do my own, and the gratitude just shines through!" ...or not. Wait, what?

"Uhhh... you can stop with that nonsense now, Sol. She's dead. Get over it." That was how grief worked, wasn't it? You had something, and then you didn't, and you moved on because there was no point to crying over spilt milk, boo hoo. (Boo fucking hoo, the moon princess was temped to add, but no! Of course that she would never stoop to such vile, disgusting speech patterns.) "You can be happy with me," Selene informed her. "Objectively speaking, that's an upgrade. A mortal would have expired in about fifty years, and in the context of eternity, that's shorter than the shelf life of the average banana. You wouldn't marry a banana, would you? When you can have me, that is." Selene, woefully tone-deaf when it came to reading the room? Nooo, not at all! She was just pointing out all those extremely rational ways in which she was better than Lorelei, a random NPC conceived purely for a cheap plot point.

Sound logic, right? Except that the world didn't seem to agree with her.

Selene couldn't see it, of course, but shadows swirled around Lorelei's corpse. They embraced it, like a mother would her long-lost child, and when their flickering lips touched hers? Lorelei's spirit rose from her mangled remains, surrounded by a faint glow. "My love!" she cried. "Ghost x goddess is good enough as well, I suppose, if it's with you. I will have to update my identity for a bit, but it will all be worth it. And, um, I guess I can't wear all of my clothes anymore? That's a bummer. However," her eyes narrowed in hatred, and her flames surrounded her hands as well, "let's take care of the pest first. Of the jealous bitch who tried to stand in our way. Selene loves murder, doesn't she? Well then," she smiled, pressing a ghostly kiss on Sol's brow, "let's make her taste her own medicine, my love. Kill her for me, and I will make you scream in delight. What do you say?"

 

[starboob]

Selene is truly un-freaking-believable. This has been known and so Sol doesn't think she should be shocked, but it really is a new low for her to proposition her for s** after murdering the McFreaking LoveTM of her LifeTM. (To think that only an hour ago they had created their first inside joke (organs) and now they are back to being on opposing sides because the resident moon daughter cannot stop herself from committing murder. It's like she needs to go to Murderers Anonymous or something, because that young goddess needs some help.) Just!!! That's extremely uncouth and Sol only wants to be with the couthiest of people, like Lorelei. (Her dead love.) It's probably a good thing that Selene cannot see the sunbeam right now, because she does not resemble sunshine at all. A shadow crosses over her features almost making her seem twice as bright––except, in this case it only makes her gaze all the more searing. "Are you seriously trying to act like you murdering the love of my life––my lobster––is not a big deal? And that you're, actually, a hero for this? Selene!!! This is so messed up!" She tosses her hands up into the air and, inadvertently, ends up shooting fireballs into the sky. "I'm not... I'm not like that, okay? I don't think murder is sexy and I especially don't find it sexy when you're murdering the person whomst my hearts desire." (Huh. Hearts. She has Selene's, doesn't she? That's right, she does, and for some reason that twists some confusion within the sunbeam. Most likely because she knows that means she's special to Selene––or was when they were children. It also maybe reminds Sol about her own heart and how... Hmm.)

Of course, Selene and understanding/processing her emotions in a normal way is a big ask and where Sol accepts this about her... her friend? (Ah, even she knows that title feels wrong.) She also sometimes wishes that she could expect something normal from her. Not some weird argument that refers to Lorelei as a banana (dang, now she's sad thinking about their award winning banana bread recipe that will never come to fruition). She slicks her hands through her hair and tilts her head back to groan, small flames huffing from her mouth. "No!" she throws out her arms again, this time aiming them towards the city and, um, causing a traffic accident, setting a building on fire, and starting a fire in the park beside them. Oops. Well, oops if she realized what she's doing. "I mean... I mean, I don't know. I guess technically one true love tropes aren't totally real but you're totally dissing Lorelei and our very deep and intimate relationship. She wanted to bake brownies and wedding plan! I like baking brownies and wedding planning." Wait, she definitely doesn't care about wedding planning. "Well, I like brownies."

While it is true that Sol didn't know Lorelei that well, the same could be said for Selene as well. Technically, they've spent more time together but what does Sol really know of Selene? That she likes murder and is technically not Selene because no one is? That's definitely not enough knowledge to qualify as relationship ready. Plus her hearts go boom boom boom for Lorelei (or did) and that has to mean something! They don't do that for Selene. (If she thinks about it, she does remember when they have. She also remembers being a total simp for Selene, too. Wasn't that, like, fifteen minutes ago? Huh. Weird. Love surely does change a goddess!)

She pinches the bridge of her nose and huffs (flames). "Look, I just––"

Then Lorelei's ghost emerges and, well, anything more the Sun heiress might have said is forgotten as she wraps her arms around (through) the ghost. (Aw, that sucks... She thought goddess privilege meant that she could touch ghosts.) Alright, well, they can't hold each other. That's not a dealbreaker. Nah, this just adds a layer of angst to their love story and every good love story needs a little sprinkle of angst. "That's okay, I like the outfit you died in. It reminds me of the day we met." Which is today, in case anyone had forgotten that.

Though when Lorelei suggests some revenge murder? Hmm, that feels funny to her. Like, it's one thing to throwdown in the middle of San Franlando but it's another thing to straight up murder her... Selene? Her brows knit together while she tries to investigate why it feels wrong to murder Selene back––outside of her general distaste for murder. "Uh, I don't actually like screaming... It, um, hurts my throat and I ran out of throat lozenges a while ago."

"Baby," the ghost pouts, "I have never asked anything of you before," because, again, they met five minutes ago, "Please, can't you do this one little thing for me? If you don't, then I will. It's in my rights as a vengeful malevolent spirit."

Oh shoot! When the love of her life is asking her to murder that does sort of change things. (Except it doesn't feel right. And if she lets herself think about it for too long she realizes that she actually knows a lot more about Selene than her affinity for murder and the fact that she isn't Selene because no one is. Like, she knows she likes snow. She knows that she's pretty when she smiles. She can be sweet when she wants to be. She's a huge dork (in secret). She likes rules and is very smart. She gave Sol her heart. She...)

The sunbeam blinks hard and looks at Selene. "This is my love's request..." Again, her brows knit together as she looks between the two women. "But I guess she's going to be disappointed, because this isn't my style! Friends stick together!" And with that Sol sends a large blast of heat towards the malevolent entity and then grabs Selene's hand to run. "Idk what's going on, Selene––I feel like I should feel like I was being a butthead to you earlier, but idk it also felt right? Anyway, sorry––" she looks over her shoulder as she runs away from Lorelei only to immediately regret it, because... Well, ghosts aren't human anymore and when they're vengeful malevolent spirits they can, um, transform. Transform into giant frigging behemoths with several gaping maws that seem seriously hungry. Yoinks. "Selene, idk what's happening––I think I ruined the date we were on and my relationship with Lorelei and I'm real frickin' confused about the state of my hearts and are you mad at me? For being a butthead?" Not the time to reconcile, to be sure, and it also feels important to Sol.

Lorelei seems to think different because her several mouths open to screech so loud that it shatters the windows on every skyscrapers within a three block radius. She also charges at the two young goddesses.

 

[Syntra]

Ah, there it was! The endless tragedy of being Selene, revealed in its full nakedness-- and, no, it wasn't the hot kind of nakedness. Not at all. (In the end, everyone inevitably betrayed her. Just as the needle of a compass always located north, so did her so-called allies' swords find her heart! ...or they would have, had her heart not been with Sol. With Sol, who had promised to protect it. The same Sol who, by the way, was now using that very heart to love another woman. Just, where was the justice in that? All the romance tropes that Selene did not enjoy dictated that Sol should, uh, help her reconnect with her gentler side! Obviously, she was the main character here, and everyone else was only there to flesh out her story. So, didn't it only make sense that she should also get the girl? The sun heiress herself, who would make for the best trophy? Ugh, there they go again, with their inability to recognize the literary conventions. I'll show them who the protagonist is!) The moon princess let out an annoyed huff, steeling her heart in the process. No, she wasn't hurt-- as long as she didn't acknowledge the pain, it didn't exist. In case you were interested, Selene was only angry at Sol! Anger, unlike its pesky cousin sorrow, was good. It proved that she was powerful and mature, and a wonderful leader as well. Who wouldn't want to entrust their safety into the hands of one who flew into a blind rage at a moment's notice? A fool, most certainly.

"Alright, do your worst. It's not like I ever expected you not to ditch me, considering who you are. The one who trusts the sun might as well trust a Scorpio not to be an absolute harridan." And, really, you could trust her in that regard-- Selene knew Scorpio herself, and if her proteges took even a little bit after their mistress, then she was confident in saying that they were the menaces of the zodiac. (Just, imagine yourself getting punched in the face repeatedly. Got it? Well, now multiply the sensation ten times, add being set on fire to it, and you got your usual confrontation with the average Scorpio.) "It will bring me no joy, Sol, but I'm afraid I will have to rain vengea-- ooof!" Indeed, not the most dignified end to her speech, but what was a girl to do when her hand was suddenly seized? Seized by someone as incredibly hot as Sol? (...yeah, and also being made to run. That, um, totally was a factor as well! Haha. Also, also, did the way her cheeks blushed at the contact cause her to look angry? Because, make no mistake, Selene was angry. Never again would she forgive a traitor, for they were meant to burn in the deepest pits of he--)

"I'm not angry with you, Sol," she heard herself say despite that. (How come that her mouth moved? Selene hadn't authorized that decision, and yet it distinctly did, lips and tongue and everything. She could imagine better uses for all those components, especially with Sol involved, but... uhh, what was that line of thought? A princess wasn't meant to stain her mind with such twisted images, for goddess's sake! ...unless, of course, she only wished to reward her faithful followers. In that case, it was both good and holy. Truly, breaking free of the mind control couldn't have been easy-- for that, Sol deserved to receive something special. For that, and also for the relief that had been shot directly into her veins. Just... Sol hadn't replaced her with a bitch that she'd only known for five seconds? So far, her track record had been better than that of literally everyone else with any meaningful presence in her life.) "I have read in my dating handbook that being mad at your date is a surefire way to ruin the outing. Therefore, I am not. No, my fury is directed at that... that mushroom thing." That, and also at the ghost who somehow thought she was worthy of her Sol's attention! The enchanted arrow might have confused her silly human heart, but wasn't it obvious to the wench just how out of her league the sun goddess truly was?! Even dreaming of her was unforgivable for one such as her!

"Besides, our date is far from ruined. Don't you know what exorcism is one of the top ten activities recommended to young goddesses?" Selene asked. "It's true! Right above 'smiting unbelievers' and under 'visiting each other's temples'. I'm not sure if that was an innuendo or not, btw. What do you think?"

"How can you even say that?!" Lorelei shrieked. "Are you not ashamed of treating me as if I'm some obstacle on your path to your happily ever after? Sol, I have named our children in my heart already! They were to be Sol #2, and Sol #3, and, yes, our youngest Sollie. Sollie would have been my pride and joy, but you ruined that." Blah blah blah, more vengeful spirit cliches. Had they all attended the same school for ghosts? Selene was genuinely asking here, because if so, their curriculum should have been updated whole millennia ago.

"Shall we destroy her?" she turned towards the sun heiress. "By combining our powers, I am certain we can--"

Yes, they could. Or, more accurately, they could have, had Lorelei not swallowed them alive instead! Whoops. "At least I get to keep Sol's DNA now," the ghost burped, in a manner that would get her kicked out of any fancy restaurant."That is almost like having her children."

 

[starboob]

There are over a thousand ways to die, Sol is pretty sure, and on the list of ways to die she really does not want to die because the ex-love of her life decided to go bananas in her eternal afterlife. More than that, she doesn't want to die with Selene being upset with her. Despite their rocky relationship, Selene matters to Sol. Perhaps that is because of the second heart that beats in her chest or perhaps because the sunbeam recognizes that the moonbeam is really cool––yeah, she has a lot of things to complain about and probably would rather perfect a poisonous banana bread recipe to feed to their enemies, but she's also proven herself to be a huge Sol-defender in a world of Sol-haters. She also has a great butt and someday she would like to touch it but, um, those thoughts are for another time. Like, a time when she isn't running for her life with the actual l*ve *f h*r l*fe, who is possibly mad at her for falling in love with another girl on their first date. (Now that Sol is starting to break free of the love spell––thanks to goddess privilege––she does remember that she didn’t fall in love with someone else on purpose. Technically, Selene shot her with the mushroom's love arrow, but she won't mention that in the event the other woman is mad at her. After all, she did say some unkind things and was not the Selene-defender a future gf/not-gf should be. She'll have to make it up to her whether or not she's mad.) She honestly does brace herself for the worst. As much as she knows that Selene is probably capable of rational thinking, statistically speaking, she also knows that she's majorly sensitive and it might be hard to brush off a slight of this magnitude.

And yet, she does. With grace, even.

The relief that spreads through the future Sun goddess is like a cool breeze on a hot day––she hadn't realized just how much she cared about Selene's feelings until that weight lifted from her chest. "Yes! Let's be mad at the mushroom thing––you said you wanted to turn her into the goddess of toilets, right? Can we tack on goddess of constipation? Because I remember needing to pray to someone when I had to deal with those issues." Again, the nice thing about being a goddess is that she doesn't have to deal with those bodily functions that humans are saddled with––especially not constipation or its evil twin, explosive diarrhea. Anyway, she supposes she shouldn't be thinking of that right at this very moment when she should be celebrating the fact that Selene isn't angry with her and Lorelei very much is. (When Sol steals another glance over her shoulder she can see the monstrosity gaining on both of them and swallowing innocent pedestrians and cars along the way. 'Crap.') "Um, but, anyway thanks for not being mad––I promise I'll make it up to you, because I don't think I should have said those things anyway. If I'm gonna be a certified Selene-defender then I gotta do better than that and I will. Pinky promise and all that jazz. For our second date, I'll take you to my hidden oasis." That is not an innuendo, btw.

"Gosh, you're so right!" Their date isn't ruined. Something is only ruined when you think it is and if Selene is okay redefining their first date, then so is Sol. "Yeah, let's save this date and put Lorelei to rest––oh, btw, the next time you murder someone in front of me I would like a five second warning so I can get out my umbrella. The starlets are going to be so mad trying to get these stains out of my dress." They're already mad enough at her for the cow pies they had to scrape off the palace floors that one time Sol thought it would be funny to have her herd stampede through the palace during a big important meeting. "And that's totes an innuendo," she laughs, "I'd love to visit your temple someday!" Oh, she said that out loud. Whoops.

Well, okay... Maybe Sol won't have to be embarrassed by her slip up seeing as Lorelei straight up swallows them whole. That ought to provide an ample distraction. "Ugh, gross!" Sol whines as they land in a pit of melted humans and cars. "This is not the way a girl wants to be eaten on her first date." Now that's an innuendo and she really, really hopes Selene laughs. "Also what kinda names are Sol #2, Sol #3, and Sollie? Those are so boring––if we were to have kids they would have to better names than that. Like, Camille Leon or something. Of course, that won't be until we're at least a million and one years old. I want to enjoy my youth before settling down, how about you?" What? These are good first date questions!

Of course, maybe she should be paying attention to the fact that they are sitting inside of malevolent spirit's stomach before she starts thinking of the possibility of their future. There won't be one with they get digested! "Alright," she hums looking around the stomach. Flames should work, right? They're pretty good at burning barriers. ...Or would be if Sol could turn her fire back on. Ugh, why does this always happen? Whenever she needs her fire it's always away and then when she doesn't need it, it comes back with all the rage of an inferno. Geez. She tries snapping, waving her arms around, and even tries to will them with a classic, "Flame on!" but none of that works. "Guess I'm all spent on fire magic. I bet I could grow a tree inside of her? That would be kinda cute––I mean, not for her, but as a little monument for our first date, y'know? Ohh, actually, I bet I could make a cute hedge sculpture! Yeah, I'm totally gonna do that."

Being a Selene-defender she steps in front of the other woman, outstretches her hands, and aims for where she thinks the monster's belly is, because she imagines it would be totally hilarious to have this hedge-sculpture claw its way out of Lorelei's stomach like something out of a Hollywood action movie. (The ghost did say she wanted to have Sol's babies.) A flurry of vines burst out from her palms and press against the monstrosity's stomach. But that's all they do, they just press. They don't shoot through her stomach like in Hollywood movies. It's like ghost stomachs are invincible or something.

"Sol! Why are you trying to escape!? Haven't you insulted me enough??" Before Sol can even respond the stomach liquids inside of Lorelei start to gather together until they've reshaped into some sort of winged creature. What is this? Monsterception?? "Maybe if you weren't stuck in there with that Selene you would realize that I am the only one who can keep you safe and warm. I will save you, my sweet goddess."

Obviously, the monster then goes after Selene.

 

[Syntra]

Well. Selene had spent a night or two imagining her first date with Sol, and while the other goddess' face had had to be substituted by a big question mark, the rest of the details had been on point. Her mind had painted strikingly vivid pictures of all the scenarios she had come up with-- scenarios that had been numerous, as many as there were snowflakes in a storm. Her and Sol in the mall? Check. The two of them, murdering unbelievers together? Check. Sol helping her figure out what kind of outfit looked the best with blood stains all over it? Check, check and check! The moon princess liked to think that she had covered all of the possibilities, and yet, yet she hadn't thought of... well, this. Of being swallowed by a vengeful ghost of Sol's (very much false) love that she may or may not have helped to create. Truly, life was difficult when you were Selene-- fates themselves were so jealous of her brilliance that they kept devising these ridiculous situations. (What? It was Selene's fault, you were saying? First of all, shut up! ...no, there didn't need to be any continuation to that, actually. Just remember that the moon princess was a perfect angel who had never done anything wrong in her life!)

"Eating us? Really? How boring," Selene sighed. "Then again, I wouldn't have expected a shred of originality from a girl called Lorelei. What's next, is she going to torture us with a marathon of Gilmore Girls?"

The ghost, if you could even call it that way, gasped. "With every word, you continue to prove that you aren't valid! Gilmore Girls is a national treasure, you uncultured swine. Someone as radiant as Sol would suffer with you, surely. You'd take her delicate little soul and stomp all over it, just like capitalism shatters human dignity. You are not fit enough to compete for Sol's heart, you monster." A monster? Fairly rich, coming from an entity that had just razed an entire town, but Selene decided not to point out the obvious.

"Shouldn't Sol get to decide that? And, judging by the fact that she's here with me, she seems like quite the Selene fan." Ah, yes, yes, yes! And she'd also offered an apology, promised to make it up to her, and, um, wanted to visit her temple, apparently. Could Selene's mind be faulted for making the mental leap towards a hotel room, covered in rose petals? Asking for a friend. (In case you were wondering, then yes, the moon princess did laugh at the innuendo! It was just hard to describe in the moment because the flow of time in a rp could get very, as Kat would say, fucked up.) "By the way, Sol, we should pick some less gross place for our hedge sculpture. Wouldn't want to traumatize the poor little thing."

"Silence!" Lorelei shrieked."None of you know anything about love or naming children. It is a good thing, then, that I have the whole eternity to teach you. How sad would it be, hmm? The combination of such a pretty face and tragically bad opinions." Which, wow. Selene may have considered Sol to be a trophy, but wasn't that going a bit too far? Might as well kill her and turn her into a decorative Sol, much like all those decorative Selenes in Inna and Liora's demonic palace. Of course, the philosophical musings of that nature had to wait when another monster joined the party. "Are you as ugly as I'm imagining you to be?" Selene pursed her lips.

"Ugly? I was made in the image of Holy Lorelei, martyred to save her love, 2021 - 2021!" Uh, what? The narrative was taking so many sharp turns here that Selene might as well have been riding a rollercoaster. Also, ouch? Whatever the thing had done, it hurt, hurt, hurt! (To the point it felt as if her skin was melting, like ice-cream in the summer heat.

"None can escape the horror of the digestive tract," the monster smirked. "But worry not, Selene. You shall feed my mistress, and for once in your miserable life, you will be good for something. You can even say you will get to date Sol by proxy!" Alright, so being beaten by a worthy foe was one thing. Suffering a crushing defeat by a bunch of bodily functions, though? No. Never, for as long as she was called Selene!

The moon princess dodged another blast, jumping on the roof of one of those half-digested cars. If this was a stomach, then... ah, obviously. The answer had been clear from the beginning, hadn't it? "Sol! We have to make her throw up." And since good ol' violence didn't seem to work... well, what was the biggest enemy of a full stomach? Movement. Even jogging was able to take out some weaker souls, but ah, the moon princess intended to bring more powerful weapons to this battle. You know, such as sudden movements inside of the stomach? "Dance with me, Sol!" she took the sun princess's hand, narrowly avoiding another acidic projectile in the process. "Let's shake things up. And, besides, this is still our date. Shouldn't we have fun while dealing with the monster of the week?"

 

[starboob]

Dancing!? Dancing With the Stars: Sol and Selene edition!? She didn't even have to suggest it herself! Her super smart and hot future gf/current not-gf thought of a solution that involves zero freaking violence! (Sol makes a private note to celebrate her first non-murderous idea to date. Well, maybe second because she did suggest exorcism and Sol is pretty sure that also does not involve murder. And visiting each other's temples, but she guesses that could involve murder if you're that kind of goddess. Selene might be, now that she thinks about it.) "Oh gorsh, naur way!" Is she now doing a really offensive Australian accent? Yeh. "This is litcherally the date of my dreams! Making things throw up, dancing, and being on a date with you! Yes, I am your dance partner, Sol-ly and completely!" She takes Selene's hand and remembers to follow the moon princess's lead just like when they danced the first night that they met. (She likes to ignore the parts of that night where Selene tried to use her to steal from her mom. She should have just said she wanted to steal Luna's eyes back and Sol totes would have helped her, but she chose lies and deceit instead. Sol isn't still a little hurt by that, obviously. It's fine.) "Hmm, since we're dancing... What should our song be? You said you like iron maidens earlier, right? Well, there happens to be a band my friend Kat told me about called Iron Maiden. So maybe our song should be an Iron Maiden song as a compromise for our unique interests!!"

She does a little twirl and giddily comes back into Selene's arms, leaning into her slightly more than would ordinarily be required but can you blame her? When your dance partner is as hot as hers, you can and should find every opportunity to get closer to her! It is just the respectable thing to do.

Even while they dance, the two princesses hop on top of melted cars and expertly dodge acidic projectiles––Sol even bats a few away with her vines, causing more disruptions within the beast's stomach. "Btw," she starts just as Selene drops her for a dip, "I am a Selene-fan. Just, like, confirming that very obvious fact. I think you're great! You are very tenacious and I don't think there's anything you can't accomplish."

"Ugh, what are you two doing in there!?" Lorelei is clearly not have a good time as the stomach juices and other miscellaneous contents swish from one side of the stomach to the other. The stomach-juice monster also seems to be a little queasy with one hand on its hip and the other cover its mouth like it might hurl. The prospect of making both monsters upchuck is tempting, but to be honest? Sol isn't entirely focused on that task (unsurprisingly). She's having the time of her life dancing with Selene in the stomach of her ex-love (who she is starting to think knows nothing about true love and romance).

"We're dancing so that we can save our first date and have a happily ever after." Like the one that Lorelei is currently trying to secure for herself and Sol––however warped her perception is of a happily ever after. "This could have been seriously avoided had you not decided to swallow us. That's super weird btw, and that's coming from me, the goddess weirdness. Like, maybe you should work on your attachment issues?"

"mAybE yOu sHoUlD wORk oN YoUR AtTAchMeNt iSsUeS!" (Sol just gets the impression that her hands are on her hips and everything.) "I am perfectly well adjusted and am having an entirely appropriate reaction to rejection." In all fairness, Sol hasn't seen that many normal reactions to rejection before so this technically is normal but that doesn't mean that she agrees with it. Not at all, to be honest. "Just stay still! Why isn't Selene dead yet!?"

"First of all, Selene is a goddess and she's amazing. Do you really think some gross stomach acid can really take her out?" Speaking of, Sol swipes her thumb across the melted skin on the other princess's arm, healing her. "And we're a team, so you will have to m-word me if you're going after her, because I'm a good healer and I don't leave my DPSes hanging." Is that the correct way to use this gamer jargon? Sol does not know and does not care because she is not a nerd. "Selene, lets up the auntie!" (Ante.) "This was my auntie Glow's favorite move!" Now, Sol doesn't totally remember her auntie Glow or this dance move, but her brain and body seem to and so she goes along with it. She grabs both of Selene's hands and begins spinning around in circles, as fast as they both can go. As they gain speed, Sol can feel Lorelei hunching over to get control of her stomach. "Faster! Faster!" she shouts, laughing, "This is the best date ever!!"

"No, no! Stop this at once! Stomach Acid Beast, vanquish Selene, then Sol will remember who the real prize is!"

Stomach Acid Beast (SAB), however, seems to still be fighting for its life. Somehow, it appears greener than earlier and while it does try to spit acid balls at them, Sol thinks the performance is a bit lackluster. (Of all the beings and beasts that have challenged them today alone, this has been the weakest one by far. -2/10.) The acid balls don't even shoot more than a few feet before just dropping back into the pool, fizzling.

Then, all too soon, the stomach starts to contract. As the muscle squeezes, the contents start to slowly rise. Before Lorelei bursts, Sol hops onto the hood of a car with Selene and settles down next to her just as they are sent soaring upwards and out of the monstrosity's mouth. "Woohoo!" the sunbeam shouts, thinking about how this date could not have been more perfect. (All it really needs is a kiss to bid thee adieu.) Once they are spit out the mouth, Sol does her best to shield her future gf/not-gf from the gross stomach fluids and holds onto her tightly as the car they're on spins out into the city streets.

When all is settled again, she squeezes Selene and then pulls away, looking at all the wreckage. City? Destroyed. Lorelei? Still vomiting. SAB? Nowhere to be seen. Selene? Looking as beautiful as ever. "While she's busy yacking up half the city, let's destroy her. Then we can go, um, make out or something," she shrugs as if she is not internally panicking at her own suggestion. (What if her lips aren't moist enough? What if Selene doesn't want to make-out? What if someone (their motherlords) catches them!?) "I'll restrain her and then you can go in with the ol' razzle dazzle, aka your cool metal claws. Hey, what's the deal with those anyway? I've never seen anything like them before. Do I have claws, too? Dude, keeping up with our powers is so hard. Is there like, a nerd with an spreadsheet who can explain mine to me?" While it is not uncommon for Sol to lose sight of her task while she babbles on and on, she lifts some roots through the asphalt of the street and casually sends them over to bind Lorelei. "I mean, but if you like spreadsheets then they're totally cool. But everyone else is a total nerd for liking them."

 

[Syntra]

Selene had never enjoyed dancing too much. Why others thought that contorting yourself into impossible angles to the rhythm of music was anything but annoying, that the moon princess didn't understand! Peer pressure, maybe? To weak minds, opinions of others were what gravity was to mortals, after all-- binding, in a way that was more absolute than death sentence. More powerful, too. Ah, how stupid, how ridiculous they were! ...they had a point, though. Not in their mindless worship of what their comrades thought, but in considering dancing to be fun. It turned out that having the right partner made all the difference, you know? Because, get it, you got to be close to them! A revolutionary idea, and one that Selene was sure had never occurred to all those empty-headed fools before. Just, sigh. Possessing the spirit of a visionary was a burden, wasn't it? Forever cursed to making these astute observations, the princess's brain was always, always stuck in overdrive! (They also got to murder someone via their dance, which was a nice bonus. A convenient justification, too. Even the most zealous of moon courtiers couldn't say anything against it, for everything connected to death was sacred! ...well, aside from bacteria. That was some impressively stupid way to die, the moon princess thought.) "I must say, I didn't think I'd spend our first date wishing for vomit," Selene smiled, "but I wouldn't have it any other way now."

Quick, throw in a compliment! Compliments were an essential component of socialization, weren't they? Thanks to them, goddesses forged bonds that might last an entire eternity. "I bet you would look lovely covered in vomit." That, uh, certainly was an attempt? An attempt kind of similar to you accidentally pushing the person you were trying to save from drowning back under the surface of the lake, though. "I mean, I bet you look really good even in your vomit-less state, but... uh, I suppose it's the juxtaposition? Of something gross and not gross. The grossness and not-grossness bring out the inner beauty. I, uh, think?" Oh, by the moon! For a second or two, Selene considered murdering all those who had witnessed her humiliation, but... well, that would include Sol by definition. Sol, whom she very much didn't want to kill! (How rude of fate to put her into a situation where homicide, in fact, wasn't the one and only solution. How was she expected to survive without her coping methods? All of them revolved around hurting other people, for goddess's sake!)

"Iron Maiden is a good idea. Do you think their songs could play at our not-so-hypothetical wedding? And, um, thank you." Were her cheeks turning pink? If so, then only because of a super convenient fever, and not because she was emulating all the Victorian lady tropes in existence. No, the great Selene couldn't possibly be destroyed by a single compliment! "It's not true, though. I can't do everything. Once, I, ah, tried to take a bite out of my mother's pie, and it bit me back. She locked me in the darkest dungeon for a week afterwards, so I really can't consider it to be a success." No, no, no! What was she saying, even? Some goblin saboteur must have calibrated her mouth for spouting nonsense, because Selene didn't remember being so dim-witted. "I'm a Sol fan as well, though! And while my sample of dates isn't, uh, too expansive, it really is greeeee-- wheee!" Indeed, wheee. There had been about a million better ways to express herself, but personally, the princess thought that what they were doing right now was a very wheee-centric activity. Who knew she could spin so fast? Why had they been keeping this arcane knowledge from her? To restrain her might?!

It didn't take long for Lorelei's stomach to give up-- just like its owner, it was nothing but a pathetic quitter, and so it checked out. Very much so. After all, had Lorelei not quit on life without even attempting to defend herself? Pitiful, the moon princess thought. "I hope that she didn't too much of her DNA on us," Selene pursed her lips. "The idea of my pores absorbing it legit scares me." And, was it just her, or had Sol's questions lost some of their annoyance factor? The moon heiress remembered wanting to roll her eyes pretty much every time Sol opened her mouth, but now... well, now she did think that her counterpart deserved some rights. You know, as a treat. (Still, couldn't she do more interesting things with those lips of hers? Just saying, because she could imagine those activities vividly.) "Oh? They are just... weapons. They were sewn into my skin when I was little," Selene explained, matter-of-factly. "Much like when other kids get earrings, except that much better." (...what? Those instances totally were equivalent to one another! It was true, because Selene said so.) "Let's remove this stain from the face of the Earth so that we may... uh, get to the important things. I have yet to, as they say, smooch you." Was that the cool way to refer to it? Oh, let it be the cool way, please, please, please!

No, killing Lorelei again wasn't difficult. For a ghost, her entrails were surprisingly fleshy, but Selene questioned it not-- after all, that would have resulted in her not savoring the kill. "Would you like to drink her blood?" she offered her companion. "Ladies first, as they say." The situation was far too idyllic, and the moon princess should have recognized that. Just, murder and kissing? Far, far too good for the cruel tendencies that fates usually displayed in her presence!

...nobody could have expected the level of catastrophe that was about to befall them, though. Nobody. The skies themselves were split apart by, and from the ugly, gaping scar in the middle, a woman stepped out. (Oh, she was beautiful, no doubt. Tall and pale, wrapped in white silks, and... eyeless? Indeed, eyeless.) "Selene?" the woman scoffed, and the blood froze in her veins. Oh no. No, no, no! "Why are you wasting your time here, and with the sun brat of all people? Didn't I send you on a mission?"

 

[starboob]

Mmm, that's not the kind of compliment that Sol would give out but she supposes that perhaps there are different traditions in the moon court and perhaps being bad at compliments is one of those sacred traditions? This makes a lot of sense, too, if you think about it. Selene likes being good at everything (she's a bit of her nerd like that); she probably enjoys being good at being a princess; princesses have to be good at knowing the traditions and stuff of their empire; therefore, Selene is probably acting in accordance with the customs she was raised around. ...Or she just really doesn't know how to be normal. But Sol likes her logic more so she just goes with that. "Yeah, I think I'm personally a lot cuter without the vom on me. It makes me more kissable." Okay, she really needs to get smooched otherwise she will not stop with these kiss references and it's getting a little embarrassing. (Hmm, maybe she should just go for it? Bottoms have rights now and don't have to wait for tops to make the first move––it's the twenty-first century!) "I think you have a pretty smile and if you were covered in vomit, I bet it would also look quite charming on you. Oh, and we can do some facemasks after this to cleanse your pores! Venus would totally kill me, but I think we should use those animal facemasks! They're just so fun." And silly and she thinks that Selene would look hilarious and cute with a little cartoon tiger sheet-mask over her face.

While her future gf/not-gf goes to finish off Lorelei, Sol hums and looks away, following the path of a butterfly with her eyes. When Selene comes back over, she grins and exclaims, "You did great! Now we can go do even more fun stuff, like the day is still young! Buuut, tbh I probably won't be drinking any blood. Whenever my mom and the fire signs drink it they get real weird and it makes me uncomfortable. I'm a weed n' wine only kind of gal." (In the back of her mind she can picture her mom's disappointment. She imagines Helia thinking her offspring is too soft and weak, because "Blood is the fuel to all fire, darling. Drink if you want to become strong. Drink if you ever hope to control that flame of yours." She can hear the fire signs all snickering. Ugh, and now that she's stuck with Mars, she can even imagine her thinly veiled annoyance that her fiancée is l0ser.)

She boxes up those thoughts and pushes them to the side with a grin, getting ready to sweep away all her worries with a little smooching action. Except, it doesn't seem like Sol will be getting her smooches any time soon as the sky itself splits open and chill washes over Sol. Even she knows who this is before she even steps fully out onto the street. (Passersby stop to gaze upon this woman who has an ethereal beauty unlike anything they have ever seen. Some, appropriately, run.) 'Crap.' This is not good. Sol is pretty sure she cannot charm her way out of this mess.

This mess that is totally her fault because she didn't betray her demon queen besties to help Selene take over the demonic realm. They even failed at securing Demonlandia––while that does feel like it's her fault, she distinctly remembers the primordial mothers intervening with that one. Still, she promised to help and look at what they have accomplished!! Nothing! Nothing other than figuring out they maybe like each other, getting the Cupidess to free the titans for them, and indirectly destroying this city because of the Lorelei fiasco (Reese's in pieces). 'Now she's gonna be turned into another decorative Selene.' The sunbeam frowns. She's gotta help Selene. Somehow.

"Oh, hi, your Looney-ness." Oh, crap. She said that out loud. On accident, of course, but there's no way her Looney––her radiance did not hear that. "Er, uh, no. That's not what I said. You didn't hear that. I come in peace. I am a peaceful person, mostly, and I am not fraternizing with your daughter." She even scoots away from Selene, acting as if they weren't about to totally make out. (She's so thankful her mom stole Luna's eyes and that she can't see this.) "We were fighting over, um, saving the city to gain the mortals', uh, praise. Helia wanted me to build a temple here to revive the old way or something and... Selene found out?" That seems like a reasonable enough lie to Sol, but she also gets the distinct feeling that she should just shut up and let Selene handle her own mom. Like, she doesn't get the idea that Luna is a reasonable person since she imprisoned her own daughter for trying to eat some demonic pie! (She is a cool mom, however, for letting Selene have claws. Helia won't even let Sol get a tattoo so she doubts she'd ever sew weapons on her.)

Sol should leave. She should dip. She should open her own crack in the sky and return to the Sun court where she is safe and not being threatened by her mom's enemy. The very enemy who declared war on her mom and, by extension, everyone else she is associated with. However, she's frozen and the best she can hope for is Helia arriving or miraculously learning how to blip to gtfo. Or maybe her mom pity smites her, that would also be acceptable at this point. Anything to get her away from Ms. Fear Incarnate. "She, uh, did great. Totally wiped out the big boss and, um, was about to totally kick my butt before you arrived."

 

[Syntra]

Have you ever been on a hunt? On a hunt where you perhaps intended to kill a doe or two, and were surprised by a bear? Well, then multiply that by a thousand, and you might understand Selene’s feelings. (Luna, her mind supplied. Luna, Luna, Luna! What was she doing there? Wasn’t she supposed to sit on her silver throne, and look down on everyone unlucky enough to pass her by? What about her daily round of torture? ’Disciplining the staff,’ Luna had called it, but not once had Selene been fooled. Oh no, no, no. Right now, she should have been terrorizing some poor girl for daring to break her favorite teacup, or… or something like that! But instead, she was there, and the moon princess… the moon princess was paralyzed. Frozen in time. Run, every fiber in her body scream, run, do it now! Except that, for some reason, that was impossible to do. Just like you couldn’t chew off your own limb, Selene couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t exist-- couldn’t be anyone but that helpless little girl, caught doing something that she very much shouldn’t be doing. Committing a sin, in other words. And, hmm, what could the punishment for that be? Selene knew. She didn’t want to, but she did, the fragments of those memories so sharp that they could cut.)

Luna may not have had actual eyes, but the stare that she gave Sol was still freezing. A 10/10 death glare. (The women weren’t too similar, come to think of it, but in that moment? In that moment, Sol actually could see a striking resemblance to Selene. Her dark(er) mirror, if you happened to be into poetic comparisons.) “Truly?” The woman’s voice was peculiar-- soft, and gentle as a caress, but not free of threat. More than a burglar that aimed a shotgun at you and screamed to hand over all of your money, though, this was a… well, a well-dressed lady, announcing to you in a sweet tone that all of your funds had been transferred to her account already. (‘Liar,’ it said, without actually saying those words. Despite the woman not seeing anything at all, it felt as if she was looking into the depths of Sol’s very soul, and extracting the grains of truth from it like a fisherwoman might extract pearls from an oyster.) “Strange,” she smiled. “I don’t remember this city being important in the grand scheme of things. Are you perhaps implying that I am perhaps neglecting my own war, Sol? Sol, daughter of Helia? Because that is a serious accusation. It is not how diplomacy should be conducted, although I understand the same can be said about stealing your opponent’s eyes. Like mother, like daughter, one might be tempted to say.” Oh, damn. Damn, damn, damn! Don’t get her wrong, Sol could be somewhat competent once she let go of her misguided, hippie ideas, but this was Luna. Luna, who was known for being about as merciful as the deepest of winters. About as gentle, too. Once she got Sol in her claws, what would she do? What, what, what? That was the one unknown in the equation, and Selene wasn't in any rush to solve it. (Her archnemesis' daughter, unprotected and vulnerable... The perfect way to send a message, wasn't it? One written in the girl's blood.)

“Mother,” the moon princess finally spoke up, in a voice that didn’t seem to belong to her. (Had she always sounded like such a weak, paltry thing? A fledgling pushed out of her nest, and left for dead?) “Mother, it is not what it looks like. I promise, Sol isn’t--”

“Mother?” The lash of a whip would have been kinder, which Selene interpreted as her signal to shut up. Quite correctly, too. "Don't you dare to call me with that title, you disgrace. Not when you, once again, managed to fail. Tell me, do you enjoy disappointing me in new ways?" Before the moon princess had any chance to react, Luna grabbed her by the throat, and, oh! Sparks were flickering before her eyes, like myriads of fireflies. "How many times have we danced this dance, my dear? How many chances have I given you? Wasted, all of them. Just like my essence within you." A deathly pale star was born in Selene's chest, and, against all expectations? Something in Sol's own chest responded, for the same light enshrouded it. That, uh, didn't mean anything bad, right? Haha, just pretty lights! "Oooh," Luna cooed, grinning like a cat who had just noticed a fat, fat mouse. "How very interesting. Is that where you left your heart, Selene? Stupid children, always misplacing things. To think that you'd do that with a gift that I gave you, though... You've really crossed the line this time, you ungrateful little bastard. A lesson is in order."

There was a pull, a hook that embedded itself somewhere in her stomach, and shortly afterwards? Shortly afterwards, it yanked them forward, dragging them... somewhere. The arena, Selene realized. It couldn't be anything else-- no other place had drunk so much blood that its scent was now ever-present, locked into its very foundation stone. (The sand beneath her feet? Oh, it was wet, too. Wet with sweat, with tears, with--)

"Carve the heart out of her, my daughter, and you may yet be forgiven!" Luna thundered. "And as for your motivation, little sunshine... just know that, if you don't give me a satisfying performance, I will send you Selene's skin in a gift basket. Maybe her own eyes, too. Aren't you curious what they look like?"

 

[starboob]

Okay, like, Sol does really want to know what Selene's eyes look like––she's always imagined that they're super pretty and unique––but she doesn't want them sent to her in a gift basket. And certainly not with her skin. That's (1) really gross and (2) super mean. Selene doesn't deserve that! She deserves to be loved and kissed and snuggled and fed grapes from the vine (or whatever decadent fruit she wants). Sol doesn't even doubt that Luna really would mar her own heir like that. Her biting reaction alone to Selene calling her 'mother' tells Sol everything she needs to know. Besides, there's a reason that Luna has such a mad reputation in the Sun court and it seems, for once, the rumors were not lying. (If anything, Sol suspects they actually left out more details than they should have.)

To be honest, Sol is worried. Sol is f---ing worried. She knows her counterpart to be fearless, but the version of Selene that she saw only a moment ago when she addressed the silver queen is not the same princess she has grown to know. That princess was only inches tall and, well, the sunbeam can relate. Her mom may be a different brand of cruel, but it's clear they both won on having the worst celestial moms in existence. And honestly, what Luna said back there is so strikingly similar to what Helia has said to her, that she wonders if they read the same parenting manual: Parenting for Queens Who Want to Raise Homicidal Maniacs. (She can't even blame Selene for being as weird as she is about murder now that she's stood in front of Luna for approximately three minutes. Like, if anything, Sol is the miracle for not having become a murderous mini-tyrant with Helia as her own mom.) Goddesses, she really just wants to reach out to Selene right now and wrap her in a warm blanket until she doesn't feel so small anymore. That's all she wants and she can't even get that. She isn't trying to be a spoiled little princess about not getting what she wants, but this seems like an appropriate thing for her to be emo about given her circumstances. AKA the ones that require them to fight.

That's why they're in this arena, she assumes. After all, why else would the the place be bathed in blood––so much so that the sands are mud beneath her feet. She doesn't think that it's just for ambiance (though it could be). Both her hearts are pounding in her chest, sweat to beads across her brow, and her gaze cuts over to the other heiress. She really wouldn't blame her if she carved the heart out of her chest. It's hers and she doesn't dare want to think of what would happen if the moon daughter were to defy her mother. At the same time, she's torn, because she promised to protect it. She even has a feeling that the little!Selene from that memory feared the possibility of Luna having her heart. So where she wants to let Selene have it, so she doesn't get hurt, she also doesn't want Luna to be any closer to attaining it. (And, again, there's that piece where Luna wants her to give a performance otherwise––surprise, surprise––Selene will get it. She'll become decorative. The mommy issues will get worse. Sol will have failed at protecting her.)

Sol rubs her nose with the back of her hand and spits on the dark, wet turf. Time to get down to business. "This here town ain't big enough for the two of us." Part of her strategy is to not take this seriously. If she doesn't take it seriously then it's not real. It's not actually happening. Haha. "And I've gotta take you out like the trash on Fridays, because that's trash day in my neighborhood." Without skipping a beat, she sloughs her bag off her shoulder and reaches in to pull out her hammer. 'Smash, smash! Smashity-smash––but not Selene. Just get real close or something to convince Looney that you're trying.' "Finders keepers, losers weepers––I'm not giving you back your heart!"

With that, Sol sends her hammer into the ground, forcing a shockwave through the arena. 'C'mon... Just defeat me,' one part of her thinks. The other responds, 'No, you have to win this. It's better if you keep her heart. You can actually protect it.' Nevermind that even if she were to defeat Selene, that doesn't solve the major issue that she's in the freaking moon court. Possibly trapped here. 'Nah, don't think of that... You'll... Uh, just one problem at a time. You'll figure this out. You're Sol!' Surprisingly, the pep-talk does little to pep her. But she can't worry about that––she has to work on either fighting or not fighting Selene. She still hasn't decided whose side she should be on.

When the ground stops rippling, she pulls up roots from the sand and creates a ring of root-tentacles around her. "You're not going to be taking anything from the jewel of the Sun court (me)." She throws all her weight into shooting her root-actles towards Selene to restrain her. Then she'll... Then she'll figure the rest out later? (Can she save Selene and not blow their cover? She doesn't know. She doesn't even know if their cover hasn't already been blown. Like, what does Luna even know? What is she suspecting? It's hard to tell because Sol refuses to look at the silver queen directly. Even her eyeless gaze cuts.) 'If I get my phoenix powers to work maybe I can fly out of here?' Okay, that seems like a good plan but... how does she get her phoenix powers to activate? When she inherited the bird, she was not given an instruction manual. (Although, it's not like she would have read it had she been given one.) 'Crap.'

...Selene is doomed, isn't she?

 

[Syntra]

It didn't happen often that Selene and Sol came to the same conclusion, but wohoo, feel free to open a bottle of champagne! Because the moon princess, too, thought that she was doomed. Super doomed. So doomed, actually, that the word 'doom' didn't even begin to cover it. There just... wasn't an expression for that in literally any existing language. Indeed, Luna's cruelty transcended the all the linguistic boundaries. (What should she do? Run away? Cast off her crown, and join some freaky circus? Mortals surely would be in awe of her skills, and embrace her with open arms. It wouldn't be that different to an eagle declaring itself to be the queen of mice, but... well, at least that eagle would get to live. A pretty significant upgrade, considering the conditions of this deal. Just, carving Sol's heart out? Alright, and then what? The organ was hers, as much as anything could belong to a person, so taking it back was not an injustice. Being a goddess, Sol would also survive the ordeal. The thing was, would Luna leave it alone? Somehow, Selene didn't think so. Expecting mercy here would have been akin to thinking a hungry shark wouldn't bite your hand off once you tried to pet it. And, besides! Hadn't she and Sol already gotten over the 'hurting each other' stage? They were on a date. According to every self-help book the moon princess had ever read, dates did not revolve around the datees trying to kill one another!)

"Oooh," Luna clapped, "that's the spirit. See, Selene? Your fiery friend here knows how things should be done. The sun and the moon, stuck in eternal opposition. I bet that she's been waiting all this time to... hmm, unleash her impulses. Can you feel it? The bloodlust, I mean?" And, in that moment, more than in any other, Selene realized that Luna was blind. Unseeing, and lost in the intricacies of their universe. (Did there have to be oppositions? When you said yee, did you also have to say haw? Were they destined to remain the prisoners of those dichotomies? The moon princess had grown up not questioning these things, but perhaps she should have! Because over-reliance on your own point of view apparently led to ridiculousness, such as sensing bloodthirst from Sol. Her cupcake, cotton-candy Sol, who would rather negotiate with mold before trying to remove it. How could she think, for even a second, that this was anything other but farce?)

"Truly?" Selene raised her eyebrow. "Prepare to taste bitter defeat, then-- hidden in the shadows, the sun can never win. Especially not here, on the moon queendom soil. Do you think I shall go easy on you? I held back for the sake of our competition, but I haven't forgotten how you have disgraced me. Me and my family!" Blah blah blah, more pointless platitudes. Luna would enjoy that, wouldn't she? Always, always she liked wrapping her deeds in pretty words, even if they said nothing at all! And, essentially, that was what Selene was doing. (A distraction. Bait. A rose by any other name, right? Use whatever fancy word you want, but the intent remained the same. 'Hide. Obscure. Think of something, before she destroys everything you've been working for.") With great flourish, the moon princess brandished her claws as well, and did an elegant pirouette. Any warrior worth their salt would see that she was leaving herself wide open, but... well, that wasn't the point, was it? The point was that the move landed her close to Sol! Hopefully close enough that Luna wouldn't hear them.

"Sol," she whispered. "Sol, you must kill me. If Luna gets my heart, it's over. If you carve me up, though? Perhaps she won't be able to re-stitch me this time. If you, uh, keep a piece of myself as a souvenir." ...what? That was romantic, wasn't it? Couples bought each other gifts all the time, so Selene didn't see why Sol shouldn't be overjoyed to keep a finger of hers. Why, it would go together with the heart she was guarding so well! Because they came from the same set and everything. "I'll explain later. Just play along for bow?" Selene would have explained now, but sadly, this wasn't a debate club. No, this was a duel to death, and during those, people tended to... well, die. Duh. Keeping that in mind, the moon princess raised her claws in the air.

"Are you not ashamed, daughter of Helia?" she shouted. "Ashamed of coming here, and tainting this sacred place with your filthy presence? I will make you regret every step that has led you astray!" Proud? Check. Arrogant? Check. Empty? Check, check, and check! Once again, Luna should be satisfied. In contrast to her sharp words, though, the moon princess moved slowly-- strike against Sol she did, though her blows were lazy, and easily deflected. 'Parry me,' they basically begged. 'Defeat me. You must be the winner, Sol.'

 

[starboob]

Technically speaking, of the real-real dates that Sol has been on (aka ones that are for relationships she actually wants to pursue), this always would have been both the best and worst first date she's ever had since it's also the only real-real first date she's ever had. While the good parts of their date were really good––like they got to dance inside of a monster of their own creation and discuss the politics of making the Cupidess the goddess of toilets/constipation–– she did not account for the fact that the worst parts of the date would be so catastrophic. She thought that the Lorelei fiasco would have been the worst of it. She should have remembered that they are young goddesses and are always being watched; eventually, word would have traveled up to the courts that they were spotted hanging out together. If hadn't been Luna intervening, then it would have been Helia and she's honestly not sure who she fears more because they both wield their own unique brand of terror. She supposes that there is no point in dwelling over that, however, since they are being forced to deal with Luna and that means they are to fight to the death. (Ugh, the kiss of death is so not the kiss she wanted to end their evening and it is probably the only kiss they'll get. Well, one of them will get it and Sol is still deciding whose death will be better in this really messed up scenario.)

"Pfft, is this what you call this realm?" she tries to channel her inner-pompous jerk to the best of her abilities, recalling everything she's ever heard her mom say. "The moon court is the Sun court waiting to happen! How can anything even live or thrive here without my grace and beauty?" That ought to be convincing enough? It's so hard being serious and mean and seriously mean. Maybe she shouldn't've switched from non-serious to serious, that might be too big of a continuity error to overlook. Though it seems necessary since she is worried that she's giving too much away somehow. Is she staring too much at Selene? Is there too much awe in her eyes when Selene brandishes her claws? Or is this an appropriate amount of staring since she is supposed to be taking the moon daughter down and she figures a certain level of staring would be needed, because they are fighting. Argh!! She doesn't want to screw this up! She can't screw this up. This is Selene's heart on the line and the vision of their little selves is still playing in her head in crystal clear clarity that she feels small and defenseless all over again.

But she isn't small and defenseless. Not anymore. She's Sol and she's a semi-competent young goddess. The plants and light all bow to her and she can do this. She has to. (Eh, pep talks still aren't working.) She twists more thorny (but not too thorny) roots and vines towards the moon daughter, trying to strike a balance between giving it her all and also watching out for Selene's safety. (She hopes it isn't obvious that she's holding back. ...Then again, her reputation as a massive screw-up might actually work in her favor for once. Wouldn't it be easy to just believe she truly is not great at fighting?)

However... However, when Selene gets close enough to whisper her instructions, both of her hearts stop.

She wishes that time would stop too so that she can process this or maybe have a chance to talk to Selene about this, because... Because she's never really killed anyone before––not with a relatively clear head at least. Even if Selene will survive because she's the future moon goddess, it doesn't make it easier. She cares about Selene and most would dictate that you don't kill people you care about. She is pretty sure her Inna-ness expressly said to not kill your not-gf. But the rules must be different when her not-gf is asking her to do exactly that, especially because––somehow––not killing her will do more harm than good. And Sol doesn't doubt Selene about this. Especially after stealing a glance over at the silver queen and knowing she is expecting a bloodbath (and Sol doesn't think she cares whose blood is spilled).

By way of saying she'll do it, she sweeps the moon daughter away from her, not ready to act just yet. This has to be her best performance ever, because while Luna and Helia probably haven't spoken face-to-face since the eye incident, word still travels back and forth between the courts. Just as it is important for the silver queen to suspect nothing, the golden queen must be twice as ignorant to this as well. "Why would I have shame about being a jewel in a wasteland? I bet you a million bucks the trees outside are crooning towards me and following the sound of my voice––they must be so starved of any real light."

To make the performance convincing, she does allow some of Selene's hits to land––her claws swipe through her forearm then over her shoulder. Then when she spots a good opening (and there have been several since it seems that Selene has been pulling back as well), she sinks her roots back into the ground only to have them all come up under the moon princess's feet, ensnaring her limbs. Sol tries to still the hearts in her chest, but that proves to be impossible the closer she gets to her counterpart. 'She wanted to be hugged, remember?' She recalls that detail from earlier and coils more vines around her torso, squeezing her. (The leaves whisper in Selene's ear, 'Picture these as my arms, moonrocks.') She shuts her eyes tightly, unable to watch what she is about to do, and has her vines grow thick, sharp thorns that all pierce the moon princess (because she said she would have wanted to be iron maiden'd). The bindings squeeze the moon princess again and then rip her apart in the next moment. One vine specifically collects one of Selene's fingers and carefully pockets it in Sol's bag.

When Sol opens her eyes again, she stares past the carnage, her entire body shaking. 'I killed her. I killed her. I killed her.' But there's no time to focus on that––she's got to get out of here and fast if she wants to continue being the protector of Selene. Perhaps it is the duress of the situation, but the phoenix wings she had been trying to call upon earlier sprout from her back and she readies to soar into the air to flee the scene.

 

[Syntra]

Selene didn't think she'd ever been hugged. Perhaps Luna had done it once or twice accidentally, while carrying her from point A to point B-- the moon princess imagined it was difficult not to hug a newborn while handling them, considering the logistics of it all. Then again, she... had never really been a baby? Or had she? The narratives were blending into one big, confusing pot of mystery porridge, and she didn't like that. (No more than she liked not being hugged, though, so the pain felt strangely familiar. An anchor holding her in place, rather than a boulder around her neck. So, when Sol's vines finally did hug her? The moon princess didn't know what to think of it. For all her snappy judgments, her brain just... refused to provide an adequate reaction. What was the feeling, even? Sorrow? Joy? A little bit of both? But, ugh, a single body couldn't contain so many emotions at once. Everyone knew that feelings were devastatingly straightforward-- this or that, never... thas. See? The very language whose framework they formed their thoughts in agreed with the great Selene!) "Let go of me, you vile monster," the moon princess snarled. Don't, she thought, hoping the sentiment would reach her. Do what you have to do. You know what you must protect, Sol, and it isn't me. No, it had never been her. Selene could protect herself, you see? Her heart was a weak, fleshy thing, though, and incapable of wielding claws. The poor dear didn't even have hands! How had it happened that such an important organ lacked any form of defense? Yet another proof that Luna and Helia had not thought things through.) "Don't you dare! Kill me, and you will be cursed for generations to come. My wrath--"

"--will be impotent, as always. Such a pathetic display. Don't you ever get tired of your own ridiculousness, Selene?" Luna rose from her bench, a cold smile playing on her lips. (Had the moon princess been able to see her? In her eyeless face, she would have spotted a combination of amusement and disgust. Doubtlessly, some part of her must have been enjoying it-- the humiliation, the pain, the despair. You know, the very poison that she'd fed her daughter for years. At this point, you might call them a family recipe!) "My poor, poor little girl! Or should I call you Failure #56? It's easy to lose track of the actual number, so do forgive me if I'm wrong. Not that that matters, of course. I doubt you shall remember any of this. Well, what are you waiting for, Sol? Strike the wench down. Show her how unworthy she is."

And, in that moment? In that moment, Selene found herself agreeing with her mother. (Unworthy. Yes, very much so. From the very beginning, she'd been trying to bend her, or break her, or use her-- to do all the things the Cosmo magazine told her not to do, basically. How could the moon princess possibly deserve love when she had already violated its holy scripture? All those sacred rules, written in an obnoxiously pink font? Surely, a sinner such as her deserved to be cast down from the heavens-- much like Achillea, who had gotten too close to the sun. Hadn't Selene done that, too? Hadn't she? Yes. Yes, kill me. Do it. Do it, now!)

...still, some part of her didn't believe that Sol would actually do it. Sol, a girl made of sunshine, and murder? Haha, that went together about as well as bread and gasoline! Besides, maybe a deus ex machina would save them-- the Primordial Mothers appearing out of nowhere, or some Kat/Sof cinematic universe asspull, or... or anything, really. The point was, this wasn't really happening, right? It couldn't. Couldn't, couldn't, couldn't! Except that, oh, the thorns piercing her from all the sides were real. Very much so. The moon princess yelped, her lungs filling with blood, and then... darkness. The same darkness she had and hadn't witnessed, so many times before. Thank you, Sol.

***

When Selene awakened once again, she found out she was a) herself (yay!), b) tied up to what had to be some kind of altar (not so yay). How did she know? Well... let's say that, thanks to certain events, the moon princess had developed a sixth sense for these things. Call it the victim's wisdom.

"Ah, my beloved daughter!" Luna's voice was being carried across the room, and Selene couldn't tell where she was standing in relation to her. Behind her? In front of her? Space, as well as time, were but an illusion-- mere shards of the ultimate truth. "My daughter, who has lost a piece of herself. How sad! For me, of course. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is, to be stuck with such an inferior version of yourself? My goodness, I believe that you may be the worst Selene to ever grace my queendom." So, the blade she stuck in her stomach? That didn't surprise her, nor did the warm blood pooling at her belly. In a way, the pain was... almost comforting? An old friend, holding her hand and telling her that everything would be okay. Sol. Sol, you've pulled it off. Thank you, thank you, thank you--

"Scorpio?" Wait, what? What was she doing there?

"Come on, don't be shy. Taste your fiance's blood!"