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Realistic or Modern (CLOSED) Supers, High School Edition

VirtualNotoriety said:
What would that be?
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Okay, i'm tired and am a bit moody, so if I come across as rude, condescending, or anything I apologize, but here goes:


Your characters break rule #8. No Mary Sues. Both of your characters have extremely powerful abilities, but have no negative traits whatsoever to balance them out. Your CSes are filled with errors and mistakes, as well as some references to characters or people you haven't stated even exist (Example: Nathaniel is quite Shy though he is a Kind, Caring and Protective individual always trying to defend them. Who is 'them'?). As @CosmicChangeling has already said, people who correct minor mistakes here and there are kinda stuck up and rude, but this level of mistakes is massive, and not a good sign for future post quality.


Nathaniel's powers are also incredibly similar to Lexi's, and Sarah's are so broad they can be excused to cover anything from the air we breath to the water inside of our bodies. I recommend using only one or two elements at most, and defining their limits.


Take note of @Brinni 's CSes. While his CSes don't go too in depth, and do possess some mistakes, his characters' abilities and flaws are well defined enough that we the players know what to expect when roleplaying with each character.


Lastly, we have a bit of an unspoken rule about character interaction. If your character or characters are built up to constantly be interacting with just themselves, it does nothing to help the other players or the RP as a whole, unless plot points are specifically because of those characters. Right now Cosmic herself is something of an offender with Aiden and Lexi, but A. That was discussed years ago, and B. She consistently makes sure that she is interacting with someone else, so that other players get to have their fun with both characters.


Why is this last point important? Mainly the fact that your two characters have something of a crush on one another. Moe & Hare grew up together, and Louise & DuValt have been together for years, but none of them constantly interact with one another without interacting with someone else. We wouldn't even bring this up if we didn't have a thread killing problem of this in the past, when one player was guilty of this and nearly killed the original thread by constantly ignoring everything plot related.


(Note: I'm not saying posts only involving your characters are bad. Cosmic's guilty of it, I'm guilty of it, Sirderpington is guilty of it mainly because his original partner dropped out before his round in the tournament (So not guilty at all, but I'm using him as an example anyway), and Sukes (Eye) is guilty of it. I'm pretty sure the only person not guilty of it is Brinni, and even that could be wrong.)
 
Homage said:
Okay, i'm tired and am a bit moody, so if I come across as rude, condescending, or anything I apologize, but here goes:
Your characters break rule #8. No Mary Sues. Both of your characters have extremely powerful abilities, but have no negative traits whatsoever to balance them out. Your CSes are filled with errors and mistakes, as well as some references to characters or people you haven't stated even exist (Example: Nathaniel is quite Shy though he is a Kind, Caring and Protective individual always trying to defend them. Who is 'them'?). As @CosmicChangeling has already said, people who correct minor mistakes here and there are kinda stuck up and rude, but this level of mistakes is massive, and not a good sign for future post quality.


Nathaniel's powers are also incredibly similar to Lexi's, and Sarah's are so broad they can be excused to cover anything from the air we breath to the water inside of our bodies. I recommend using only one or two elements at most, and defining their limits.


Take note of @Brinni 's CSes. While his CSes don't go too in depth, and do possess some mistakes, his characters' abilities and flaws are well defined enough that we the players know what to expect when roleplaying with each character.


Lastly, we have a bit of an unspoken rule about character interaction. If your character or characters are built up to constantly be interacting with just themselves, it does nothing to help the other players or the RP as a whole, unless plot points are specifically because of those characters. Right now Cosmic herself is something of an offender with Aiden and Lexi, but A. That was discussed years ago, and B. She consistently makes sure that she is interacting with someone else, so that other players get to have their fun with both characters.


Why is this last point important? Mainly the fact that your two characters have something of a crush on one another. Moe & Hare grew up together, and Louise & DuValt have been together for years, but none of them constantly interact with one another without interacting with someone else. We wouldn't even bring this up if we didn't have a thread killing problem of this in the past, when one player was guilty of this and nearly killed the original thread by constantly ignoring everything plot related.


(Note: I'm not saying posts only involving your characters are bad. Cosmic's guilty of it, I'm guilty of it, Sirderpington is guilty of it mainly because his original partner dropped out before his round in the tournament (So not guilty at all, but I'm using him as an example anyway), and Sukes (Eye) is guilty of it. I'm pretty sure the only person not guilty of it is Brinni, and even that could be wrong.)
Click to expand...
Ok, I appreciate the criticism, and I'll add the defects in their abilities while for Sarah? I think I talked about it with CC that she will only be able to use one or two of the elements she's familiar with which is I think Fire and Earth :)
 
VirtualNotoriety said:
Ok, I appreciate the criticism, and I'll add the defects in their abilities while for Sarah? I think I talked about it with CC that she will only be able to use one or two of the elements she's familiar with which is I think Fire and Earth :)
Click to expand...
One element.


I do break that rule with aidan and lexi. Ironically I only went there with them because as I wrote them in scenes together the ooc lit up and then when I wrote the posts of them crushing and dating the awww buttons exploded. That said lexi and aidan are threaded through every main group or individual in this organization that their individual posts to players is heavy influencI also.


Aidans beatdown....literally affected every player differently because of how much he interacts with others.


And God I have so many characters my brain hurts.


BUT here's my problem. I went to bat defending the flaws that I agree with homage for. Because they are glaring and obvious. We went through an agonizing process letting people in and you were one of them but you haven't made a single post, nor communicated why.


We had one kid. ONE...who followed every rule we asked to get submitted and it turned out his chemistry with us was zero....and thst was fundamentally heartbreaking because he fucking followed every rule and we wanted it to work out.


You on the other hand has been a constant struggle to get you on the same page, then you leave and the same arguments are made on your character. The edits I asked you to make you never updated on the board.


So for this reason, I don't think it's a good idea you start at all. Right now it's no harm no foul because you haven't but we are already blazing through the tournament and I will honestly steamroll any interaction if I have to wait more than 2 days (without communication of what is going on in your life because we all have lives and I am very open if there are periods I won't be on) to see a single post.


God man its been 2 months and not even an ooc post until you were tagged.


Homage isn't being cranky. Maybe I am. She's the NICEST one out of the three of us to get applications approved and this has her this riled up. I'm standing by it.
 
Homage said:
Okay, i'm tired and am a bit moody, so if I come across as rude, condescending, or anything I apologize, but here goes:
Your characters break rule #8. No Mary Sues. Both of your characters have extremely powerful abilities, but have no negative traits whatsoever to balance them out. Your CSes are filled with errors and mistakes, as well as some references to characters or people you haven't stated even exist (Example: Nathaniel is quite Shy though he is a Kind, Caring and Protective individual always trying to defend them. Who is 'them'?). As @CosmicChangeling has already said, people who correct minor mistakes here and there are kinda stuck up and rude, but this level of mistakes is massive, and not a good sign for future post quality.


Nathaniel's powers are also incredibly similar to Lexi's, and Sarah's are so broad they can be excused to cover anything from the air we breath to the water inside of our bodies. I recommend using only one or two elements at most, and defining their limits.


Take note of @Brinni 's CSes. While his CSes don't go too in depth, and do possess some mistakes, his characters' abilities and flaws are well defined enough that we the players know what to expect when roleplaying with each character.


Lastly, we have a bit of an unspoken rule about character interaction. If your character or characters are built up to constantly be interacting with just themselves, it does nothing to help the other players or the RP as a whole, unless plot points are specifically because of those characters. Right now Cosmic herself is something of an offender with Aiden and Lexi, but A. That was discussed years ago, and B. She consistently makes sure that she is interacting with someone else, so that other players get to have their fun with both characters.


Why is this last point important? Mainly the fact that your two characters have something of a crush on one another. Moe & Hare grew up together, and Louise & DuValt have been together for years, but none of them constantly interact with one another without interacting with someone else. We wouldn't even bring this up if we didn't have a thread killing problem of this in the past, when one player was guilty of this and nearly killed the original thread by constantly ignoring everything plot related.


(Note: I'm not saying posts only involving your characters are bad. Cosmic's guilty of it, I'm guilty of it, Sirderpington is guilty of it mainly because his original partner dropped out before his round in the tournament (So not guilty at all, but I'm using him as an example anyway), and Sukes (Eye) is guilty of it. I'm pretty sure the only person not guilty of it is Brinni, and even that could be wrong.)
Click to expand...
I only RP'd one bloody post with myself! And that was solely to entertain all of you before the Nia round!
 
@VirtualNotoriety


If it is hard to create characer flaws, literally create your entire character around your flaw, so that the only thing you have to worry about is everyone thinking you are a monster who eats children OOC.

CosmicChangeling said:
Lux is a sad boy
Click to expand...
Yeah...


My characters, for example. Before I came up with ANYTHING about Rachel, I thought of The Beast. I fleshed out The Beast entirely (with the exception of some lore shit) before I even gave Rachel a name. The Beast, her "power" and her flaw, are all the same, and they impact every living second she has, and makes her life a pain. Because, you know, The Beast is a demonic entity that forcefully possessed her when she was fucking 7. Doubtlessly, The Beast is UNGODLY powerful, and will have a big impact on the story later on, (especially if Cosmic was hinting in her Aiden post that there are 30 fucking fragments. That's REALLLYYYTT bad.). But it is not Rachel's power.


Lux's power is flight. Lux is scared of heights. Simple, easy to create flaw that defines his whole character and severely limits him.


Allysia can enhance her own beauty by shapeshifting, but has zero self-confidence about her real body.


Ember is one of the strongest heroes here, but her power can only destroy. She can accidently hurt people around her without even realizing it because of how chaotic her power is, even if she has complete control over it. And she doesn't want to hurt anyone.


Simple flaws, that make me look like a monster, but raise no doubts that my characters are sufficiently fucked up.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Lexi:


Self esteem: 10/10


Self worth: 2/10


Bitch rating: 7/10


Aidan


Self esteem: 4/10


Self worth: 8/10


Bitch rating: he's everyone's bitch.


Clara


Self esteem: 4/10


Self worth: 2/10


Bitch Rating: it all went into Lisales #twinning


Elastic


Self esteem: -1/10


Self worth: 100/10


Bitch rating: fuck you guppies.


Savolt


He was too lazy to fill out the forms


The nurse


Self esteem: -10/10


Self worth: -20/10


Bitch rating: OVER 9000!


Do I need to do hapswell?
 
CosmicChangeling said:
Lexi:
Self esteem: 10/10


Self worth: 2/10


Bitch rating: 7/10


Aidan


Self esteem: 4/10


Self worth: 8/10


Bitch rating: he's everyone's bitch.


Clara


Self esteem: 4/10


Self worth: 2/10


Bitch Rating: it all went into Lisales #twinning


Elastic


Self esteem: -1/10


Self worth: 100/10


Bitch rating: fuck you guppies.


Savolt


He was too lazy to fill out the forms


The nurse


Self esteem: -10/10


Self worth: -20/10


Bitch rating: OVER 9000!


Do I need to do hapswell?
Click to expand...
Hapswell- NUMBERS ARE INADEQUATE.


Could you do my characters? :o
 
SirDerpingtonIV said:
@VirtualNotoriety
If it is hard to create characer flaws, literally create your entire character around your flaw, so that the only thing you have to worry about is everyone thinking you are a monster who eats children OOC.


Yeah...


My characters, for example. Before I came up with ANYTHING about Rachel, I thought of The Beast. I fleshed out The Beast entirely (with the exception of some lore shit) before I even gave Rachel a name. The Beast, her "power" and her flaw, are all the same, and they impact every living second she has, and makes her life a pain. Because, you know, The Beast is a demonic entity that forcefully possessed her when she was fucking 7. Doubtlessly, The Beast is UNGODLY powerful, and will have a big impact on the story later on, (especially if Cosmic was hinting in her Aiden post that there are 30 fucking fragments. That's REALLLYYYTT bad.). But it is not Rachel's power.


Lux's power is flight. Lux is scared of heights. Simple, easy to create flaw that defines his whole character and severely limits him.


Allysia can enhance her own beauty by shapeshifting, but has zero self-confidence about her real body.


Ember is one of the strongest heroes here, but her power can only destroy. She can accidently hurt people around her without even realizing it because of how chaotic her power is, even if she has complete control over it. And she doesn't want to hurt anyone.


Simple flaws, that make me look like a monster, but raise no doubts that my characters are sufficiently fucked up.
Click to expand...
Derp. It was more of a world building thing. I want you all to understand that there are pockets of characters going through "THE WORLD IS NYE" I like to believe like any highschoolers every grade has the queen bee the hero the damsel and all that. These characters are all becoming heroes or villains. There's about 50 or so kids per grade.


You know how boring of a super school it would be if lexi and her crew were the only ones having shit go down?


Loretta and the janitor clean up a shit ton of messes.


Like when Vi destroyed the office loretta groans that it's the third time this month it has been obliterated. Which tells readers that there are other characters dealing with detrimental plots that we will never see or talk about.


Since aidan can now see auras thst sentence is more of an establishment thst this school is crazier and more fucked up than we all realize he's justill now seeing it.


Which is funny because he can't see shit to begin with
 
CosmicChangeling said:
One element.
I do break that rule with aidan and lexi. Ironically I only went there with them because as I wrote them in scenes together the ooc lit up and then when I wrote the posts of them crushing and dating the awww buttons exploded. That said lexi and aidan are threaded through every main group or individual in this organization that their individual posts to players is heavy influencI also.


Aidans beatdown....literally affected every player differently because of how much he interacts with others.


And God I have so many characters my brain hurts.


BUT here's my problem. I went to bat defending the flaws that I agree with homage for. Because they are glaring and obvious. We went through an agonizing process letting people in and you were one of them but you haven't made a single post, nor communicated why.


We had one kid. ONE...who followed every rule we asked to get submitted and it turned out his chemistry with us was zero....and thst was fundamentally heartbreaking because he fucking followed every rule and we wanted it to work out.


You on the other hand has been a constant struggle to get you on the same page, then you leave and the same arguments are made on your character. The edits I asked you to make you never updated on the board.


So for this reason, I don't think it's a good idea you start at all. Right now it's no harm no foul because you haven't but we are already blazing through the tournament and I will honestly steamroll any interaction if I have to wait more than 2 days (without communication of what is going on in your life because we all have lives and I am very open if there are periods I won't be on) to see a single post.


God man its been 2 months and not even an ooc post until you were tagged.


Homage isn't being cranky. Maybe I am. She's the NICEST one out of the three of us to get applications approved and this has her this riled up. I'm standing by it.
Click to expand...
Ok I'll respect your answer, I won't submit anything in the rp tab, however I'll continue editing my characters to become more suitable for the rp, also I might be gone for awhile I'm developing a mild case of Disassociative Identity Disorder, wish me luck during a slight counseling session.


-VN
 
VirtualNotoriety said:
Ok I'll respect your answer, I won't submit anything in the rp tab, however I'll continue editing my characters to become more suitable for the rp, also I might be gone for awhile I'm developing a mild case of Disassociative Identity Disorder, wish me luck during a slight counseling session.
-VN
Click to expand...
I didn't know. I can't comprehend how hard that is to deal with. On a personal note I wish you luck and good health, mental illnesses run in my family so I have a second degree connection to what.something like this does to a person and what they are struggling with.


Take care of yourself.


Feel free to private message sukes, homage and I together to help work on your character and ideas or any of us personally if you need to talk.


- Shannon
 
CosmicChangeling said:
Derp. It was more of a world building thing. I want you all to understand that there are pockets of characters going through "THE WORLD IS NYE" I like to believe like any highschoolers every grade has the queen bee the hero the damsel and all that. These characters are all becoming heroes or villains. There's about 50 or so kids per grade.
You know how boring of a super school it would be if lexi and her crew were the only ones having shit go down?


Loretta and the janitor clean up a shit ton of messes.


Like when Vi destroyed the office loretta groans that it's the third time this month it has been obliterated. Which tells readers that there are other characters dealing with detrimental plots that we will never see or talk about.


Since aidan can now see auras thst sentence is more of an establishment thst this school is crazier and more fucked up than we all realize he's justill now seeing it.


Which is funny because he can't see shit to begin with
Click to expand...
Ah. Alright. Good. More fragments = bad. But it is interesting to see an RP creator write like that. Most of the time they focus on the main group like they are the only ones doing anything.


Bit of an off-topic question, why did the other Superschool RP die?
 
SirDerpingtonIV said:
Ah. Alright. Good. More fragments = bad. But it is interesting to see an RP creator write like that. Most of the time they focus on the main group like they are the only ones doing anything.
Bit of an off-topic question, why did the other Superschool RP die?
Click to expand...
Long convoluted story to tell that's not my story to tell. That's my friend's story. It was her game I helped her with it.


But we had wanted to restart it for awhile and finally got on our asses to do it.


I'm all about that world building
 
CosmicChangeling said:
Long convoluted story to tell that's not my story to tell. That's my friend's story. It was her game I helped her with it.
But we had wanted to restart it for awhile and finally got on our asses to do it.


I'm all about that world building
Click to expand...
Ah. Alright.
 
SirDerpingtonIV said:
No worries. Was just curious. Don't want to bother
Click to expand...
One reason I can share was that there were too many people trying to create their own tone of the school and make it what it wasnt. They didn't integrate players into their plots and it was crazy.


The tone was meant to be light hearted comics with darker elements underneath


But you had roscommon


Horror


Gore


It didn't blend and it ruined the heart of what the creator wanted.


There is a reason I spend so much time world building and have a shit ton of npcs characters, and thst we are small....that was to fix that problem.


There was a lot of personal drama too but that I won't go further into
 
Oh. Yeah, that all makes a bit of sense. To be fair I wasssss kinda oblivious and unhelpful with the whole thing. Also I just realized I forgot to run Allysia and Ember by you in PM. Oops
 
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