Character Critique Thread

[Gus]

Ooatu is not here for comment or critique. Ooatu is here because Ooatu is everywhere. Bask in the glory feeble mammals.

 

[Gus]

The Mechanist

Renellius is great by the way! I had a similar powerset in mind for a head canon character who graduated from AEGIS some 10 years prior to the current story. His code-name was 'Chop-Shop' which you are welcome to steal if you like the fit.

My only suggestion is that there ought to be some time limitation involved in how long it takes to disassemble things and put them back together again. It doesn't have to be long, but it should be clear that it is not instantaneous? Like maybe a car would be the baseline: 3 minutes to take a car down to its individual nuts and bolts and 4 minutes to assemble a car from parts. (Two minutes if it just needs to be functional, and not pretty)

 

[The Mechanist]

The Mechanist

Renellius is great by the way! I had a similar powerset in mind for a head canon character who graduated from AEGIS some 10 years prior to the current story. His code-name was 'Chop-Shop' which you are welcome to steal if you like the fit.

My only suggestion is that there ought to be some time limitation involved in how long it takes to disassemble things and put them back together again. It doesn't have to be long, but it should be clear that it is not instantaneous? Like maybe a car would be the baseline: 3 minutes to take a car down to its individual nuts and bolts and 4 minutes to assemble a car from parts. (Two minutes if it just needs to be functional, and not pretty)

Well the way it works is that it doesn't work In layers, if he's dissembling a car it's not from the surface in, it's all happening at once, all nuts, bolts, screws both exterior and interior are being undone at the same time, which is reinforced by his intense focus.

 

[Gus]

Well the way it works is that it doesn't work In layers, if he's dissembling a car it's not from the surface in, it's all happening at once, all nuts, bolts, screws both exterior and interior are being undone at the same time, which is reinforced by his intense focus.

Which is why I suggested a time in minutes and not hours. Seconds is certainly possible, but instantaneous would violate the laws of physics...

 

[The Mechanist]

Which is why I suggested a time in minutes and not hours. Seconds is certainly possible, but instantaneous would violate the laws of physics...

Haha you'd be surprised what I could dissemble with some well placed explosives XD but I get ya, I'll go over it again and clarify the time constraints his abilities would have.

 

[Noble Scion]

Eliza Nova is now complete!
Nova, E

Feel free to tell me what’s horribly horrible about her, and I might take some time out of my busy schedule of doing nothing to change it xD
(That was a joke)

 

[The Fuzzy Pixel]

Someone help me stat this nerd, please.
Suggestions so far: another flaw. 4 for energy/health/willpower (???), rest is normal.

WARRAIN, M.

• Stats
• General
• Appearance
• Biography
• Relationships
• Superpower
• Skills and Flaws
• Tools & Weapons
• Gallery

• Heroism Statistics
  Aspect	Scale	Total
  Courage	▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱	4
  Altruism	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱	8
  Order	▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱	3
  Kindness	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱	8
  Proaction	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱	7
  Diplomacy	▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱	5
  Composure	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱	7

  Ability Statistics
  Aspect	Scale	Total
  Health	▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱	3
  Strength	▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	1
  Defense	▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	1
  Agility	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	2
  Intelligence	▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	1
  Willpower	▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱	3
  Energy	▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱	3

• Full Name
  Maple Warrain
  
  Nicknames
  ---
  
  Codename
  Vape
  
  Gender
  Female
  
  Age
  21
  
  Rank
  D
  
  Limiter
  Built into her digital wristwatch
  
  Role
  AEGIS Filing Clerk; Commonwealth field agent
• Race
  Swedish and Irish descent; American nationality
  
  Hair
  Natural blonde; currently dying her hair light gray.
  
  Eyes
  Blue
  
  Height
  5'6"
  
  Figure
  Thin, with a healthy and fit build.
  
  Notes
  Beauty spot beneath her left eye.
• No Stranger To Sin
  Both of her parents have done terrible things in the past, and even Maple has had to get her hands dirty to ensure her family's survival. She doesn't like any of this, but she recognizes that her parents truly cared about her and each other. There's nothing that can be done to undo these acts of violence, but Maple firmly believes that genuinely paying kindness forward is the closest thing they can do to atone. She and her parents are not bad people and they truly regret their misdeeds, and the world itself is hardly black and white. Due to this she tends to avoid casting premature judgement on others knowing that there's always more to a book than its cover.
  
  Roger Roger, Rubber Ducky
  Casual, cheerful, and curt, this woman isn't fond of beating around the bush. It's her belief that people get tangled up in formalities and big words too much to communicate effectively. Most of her verbal interactions will reflect this. If she'd rather not say something she'll calmly just say so. On the flip side of this, if she feels you're holding out on her then she'll call you out on that hunch.
  
  Head In The Clouds
  A lot of her free time is spent daydreaming, and sometimes this can spill into her work hours. It's not uncommon to find her distracted with her own thoughts. Curiosities in her environment can sometimes trigger these mental wanderings, and she's prone to interrupting conversations to explore any sudden inquiries.
  
  Slow And Steady Wins The Race
  Unless there's danger present she likes to take her time with things. Others may find her slow, whimsical pace infuriating, but somehow she manages to get things done if they're not dumped on her at the absolute last second. Trying to rush her only makes her irritable, and she will purposely stall you to return the favor.
  
  History
  Tip for the day: 'Don't do drugs, kids.'
  
  It's been theorized that Maple's odd ability may have been influenced by two factors. The first was her mother passing down an active super gene along with an unstable psychological power. The second is her father's use of a chemical called titan gas, which was a physical stimulant associated with the domestic terrorist cell known as Rapture. Without any real scientific digging into the matter this still remains speculation. Maple, as well as her father, have declined to even register her as a super until recent events found the family moving to Baltimore under the mutual employment of the Commonwealth. Even after that the woman seems to find ways--or more likely excuses--to avoid any thorough examination.
  
  Before this move she had been living within the United Kingdom for just over a year, on a sabbatical as she called it. She spent the time undertaking personal studies to broaden her knowledge, and to take some time off for herself at her father's request. Picking up a job as a gardener's assistant Maple enjoyed these quiet days, although the wanderlust her father had nurtured within her sometimes carried her out beyond civilization for camping trips. It was a refreshing change of pace in her own words, very therapeutic after having just recovered from a gunshot wound.
  
  Official records of the woman are scattered across the continental United States of America. Even what little information the Commonwealth has about her mother is all that her father will provide. She and her father had moved six times all to different states while she had been growing up. Those are just the confirmed reports, however. The last hard piece of evidence on her before her departure to the United Kingdom was a hospital report from Oregon. Her high school records are just as haphazard, and there's no record of her even attending her senior year at either of her associated high schools. It's believed that she suppressed her power through stolen limiters since she was an unregistered super.
  
  Truly, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as far as enigmas goes.
  
  Their level of discretion was necessary, however. Her parents had made enemies during Rapture's little war in Washington DC. These same ghosts from the past claimed Maple's mother several years after her birth, and would continue to sporadically hound the surviving family for a decade more. Things were finally starting to calm down after her trip to Europe, but trouble seems to have found the Warrains once more. She's followed her father to Baltimore and Facility 108 not to look after her own future, but to fight the good fight, because somebody has to. Being familiar with this kind of danger is unfortunate, but she's determined to do what she can. With a friend from the UK enrolling in the school Maple has even more of a drive to take a stand.
  
  War never changes, and neither do the Warrains.
• Logan Warrain
  Maple's father, whom she followed to Baltimore against his wishes. There's a healthy relationship between the two, and she is adamant about not letting Logan out of her sight after the violent loss of her mother.
  
  Matron
  The aunt she never had. Matron is an eccentric old woman, but Maple respects her authority. She's suspicious about how Matron's empire was built, but understands that everyone has their secrets.
  
  Director Chernov
  As much as Maple would love to give the high strung woman a hug, she'll settle for a friendly wave from afar. Also, as a new agent of the Commonwealth that would be really awkward anyways. She knows why her father is working for Chernov and what the Commonwealth expects from him, and that puts Maple in a position to be respectfully wary of the older woman.
  
  Eliza Nova
  A friend Maple made during a past trip to the United Kingdom. She took an interest in the younger woman after hearing rumors about her 'hallucinations,' and the rest is history after that. With Maple's father finding work in Baltimore Maple followed suit, and even extended an offer to Eliza to do so as well so she could get help from Facility 108.
• Empathetic Vapor Emissions
  Along with the typical discharge of carbon dioxide, Maple's mutated lungs expel plumes of visible gray vapor upon exhalation. This cloud is laced with mood altering properties, the effects of which are based on her current mood. If she's happy, this cloud will induce a happy feeling in others. This causality is the same whenever she's sad, angry, calm, scared, and so on. The more of the cloud that is inhaled the stronger the effect will be, of course. With the trigger of emotional responses an affected person's body will usually follow suit as well. Anger can push out neurotransmitters in the brain to temporarily cope with pain, or provide a boost of strength for example. Happiness can relax the body and soothe out nervous fidgeting, as another example.
  
  
  • Blow Your House Down: Maple's lung capacity and endurance is phenomenal to say the least. With one deep breath and some effort she can gas a large area with her vapor. Normal breathing will just fog up the area immediately in front of her, though. She's able to hold her breath if needed for extended periods of time, and takes longer to get winded from physical exertion.
  • Quantity Is Quality: The staying power of her vapor increases directly with how much she puts out at once. This means the vapor from her regular breathing will dissipate relatively quickly when compared to the clouds she can produce.
  
  Limitations
  
  • A Real Bad Trip: She's just as affected by her vapor as anyone else is. It's a seemingly benign side effect, but when one emotion compounds on itself too much--like fear or anger for example--things can get troublesome as her emotions run rampant.
  • Candle In The Wind: Strong winds can either help or hurt her control depending on the placement of her clouds. It's a tossup outdoors, and this is why she prefers applying her power within confined areas.
  • Easy As Breathing: As the puffs of narcotic breaths are a normal bodily function Maple cannot stop herself from creating this vapor without holding her breath or her limiter.
  • I Don't Have A Problem: Too much exposure to Maple's vapor over time can cause an addiction. Emotions and endorphins go hand in hand, and this can cause lingering imbalances within a person. People not used to adrenaline or euphoric highs seem to be affected the worst.
• A Break From Civilization: Having gone through outdoors training with her father Maple is an adept camper and mountaineer. She'll happily show others how to spear a fish with a sharpened stick, or ensnare small woodland critters with string. Her usual cheerful demeanor often belies her survival training, and most people don't seem to believe that she keeps bug-out bags stashed in places she frequents like at home or at the office in Facility 108.
  
  A Green Thumb And A Sharp Eye: She picked up gardening as a survival skill, but outside of that specific scenario Maple can start and maintain a decent garden. She's also familiar with different types of edible and harmful plants.
  
  Sting Like A Bee: Another practical gift from her father: knowing how to fight armed and unarmed. She lacks the physical strength to compete toe-to-toe so she prefers to use a knife to even the odds. She knows where and how to strike with a blade to either warn or seriously injure opponents. It's not something she's proud of knowing or having used, but it has come in handy on more than one occasion.
  
  Skirts Don't Have Pockets: Appreciating cute aesthetics and wearing cute clothes are two very different things for Mabel. Sharing a degree of her father's practicality she's not very fond of wearing effeminate clothing, and instead dresses more in line with a tomboy for both comfort and utility. She's particularly fond of wearing cargo shorts/pants, because you never know when you'll need to squirrel away something useful.
  
  A Well Kept Mess: The woman's a methodical practitioner of organized chaos. Just because you don't understand her system of arrangement that doesn't mean there's not a method to the madness.
  
  High School Dropout: Most of Maple's knowledge comes from practical lessons learned between and during her family's many travels across the United States. She understands the basics of science, math, and literature, but the more critical details elude her without industrious self study and a fair share of frustration.
  
  It's Too Quiet: She finds it difficult to sleep for more than a few hours at a time having been traumatized throughout her life by very real nightmares, one of which put her in a hospital with a hole in her abdomen. Even if Maple is sleeping next to someone she trusts she frequently wakes up after short spurts of rest, especially if there's no ambient noise. After bad nights it can really take its toll on her. She usually finds some way to fight off the z's during the day, but if there's nothing really going on she likes to cat nap 'tiger nap.' When she's awake complete silence still unnerves her.
  
• Filtration Mask: [Tool] A blue and black mask that can filter out Maple's vapors from her breaths, acting as a fallback if her limiter is unavailable. There is still a small visible puff of air exiting the filters when she exhales, but these cause no ill effect on others when breathed in. She prefers using this mask over wearing her limiter because it's a sense of familiarity. When she was younger she didn't have a limiter, and had to wear similar masks to help stifle her power.
  
  Glowstick: [Tool] A vape pen that lights up with a neon blue glow when it's being used. It's typically filled with a vanilla scented oil.
  
  Swatter: [Weapon] A collapsible stun baton developed by a national security firm. It's handle has a button that electrocutes the extending club to assist its user in encouraging an antagonist to cease and desist.
  
  'Killjoy' Threat Negation Device: [Weapon] A handheld device intended to deal non-lethal force to a target in order to neutralize them. Aesthetically it's basic shape resembles a blocky handgun, but it's loaded with cartridges on the end of the 'barrel.' Upon pulling the trigger these cartridges launch a pair of needles out to 15ft, able to penetrate thick clothing and deliver high voltage shocks.
  
  Survival Knife: [Weapon] A sturdy knife with a 10" blade.
• "My hands aren't clean, maybe they might never be.. but, they can still carry you home when you're ready to sleep."
  
  
  
  

 

[Tyrannosaurus Rekt]

Look guys! I made a shit show. Have fun tearing him apart. I await with excitement!

 

[Syrenrei]

Stat suggestions for Maple:

Health - 3 (due to her lung capacity and endurance)
Strength - 1 or 2
Defense - 1 or 2
Agility - 1 or 2
Intelligence - 1 or 2
Willpower - 3 or 4 (depending on how well she can control the vapors)
Energy- 3 maybe? It seems like the amount she produces is limited to her breathing, so this does not need to be high

 

[ChaosZereul]

RICHARDS, Z.

• Stats
• General
• Appearance
• Biography
• Superpowers
• Skills and Flaws
• Tools & Weapons
• Gallery

• Heroism Meter
  Aspect	Scale	Total
  Courage	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱	08
  Altriusm	▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱	06
  Order	▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱	04
  Kindness	▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱	06
  Proaction	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱	07
  Diplomacy	▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	01
  Composure	▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱	03

  Ability Statistics
  Aspect	Scale	Total
  Health	▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱	04
  Strength	▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱	03-06
  Defense	▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱	03-06
  Agility	▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱	02-04
  Intelligence	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Willpower	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Energy	▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱	03

  
  
• Full Name
  Zayne Amadeus Richards
  
  Nicknames
  Zee
  
  Codename
  "N/A"
  
  Gender
  Male
  
  Age
  18
  
  Rank
  B Rank
  
  Limiter
  Active, Level 2
  
  Role
  Student
• Race
  White Mongrel (blend of several European nations)
  
  Hair
  Red
  
  Eyes
  Brown
  
  Height
  6'1"
  
  Figure
  Well-toned Medium Build, 195 lbs.
  
  Notes
  His hands are notably larger than average, and incredibly rough for a person his age. Likewise, his arms are very well-muscled, again more so than most people his age.
  
  Typically wears whatever’s comfortable, and as a result has a fairly poor sense of fashion.
  
  Has a black dragon tattoo on his right shoulder, a memento of receiving his black belt in Karate.
  
• 
  Brash/Tactless
  Zayne is not one to mince words, and will often prefer to speak his mind than keep matters to himself. He also has a bad habit of throwing himself into other people’s problems, even if he has little to nothing to gain from doing so. Lastly, he has almost no skill in diplomacy, and will often result to violence as a means to resolve an argument.
  
  Loyal
  Despite his brash nature, Zayne fairly often seeks companionship and comradery, which often leads him to see it in places where it may not exist. People acting friendly to him for long enough periods will look like true friends to him, and likewise he’s a very strong proponent of taking pride in one’s community, workplace, school, etc. However, he’s not blind, and will quickly break off any relationship that doesn’t reward him for his loyalty.
  
  Hard Worker
  Zayne is never afraid to get his hands dirty, and is always willing to carry his own weight and then some, regardless of the task at hand. Unlike many his age, he knows the value of a hard day's work, and isn't afraid to volunteer for tasks most would shy away from.
  
  Introverted
  Despite various attempts to prove the world otherwise, Zayne is a textbook Introvert, and dealing with other people, especially large numbers of them for extended periods of time, tends to drain him, causing him to become much more easily frustrated/agitated until he's given time to regain himself.
  
  
  History
  Zayne was born and raised in a small apartment complex in a suburban area of Pittsburg with an older sister, a younger half-brother, and his mother and step-father. None of them had powers, though he had heard that his biological father was a fairly mediocre super who never really used his powers and left them shortly before he was born. His mother met his step-father when he was around 3, and they got married when he was about 5, giving birth to his half-brother barely a year after that; he considers both of them true family, and hates when people try to classify them as anything less.
  
  His childhood was spent like most children’s, playing out either in the nearby park or with the few other children who lived in the area. While his family wasn’t poor, they also weren’t very well-off, often having to live paycheck to paycheck; as such, he didn’t get to have many of the same experiences other kids often had – Scouts, Summer Camp, etc. His street predominantly housed elder families, and so he came to know many of the adults as well or better than kids his age, and would often go out of his way to help them through whatever odd job they’d give him, like tending to their yards or petsitting.
  
  In school, while he would normally be a polite enough child, he’d have a bad tendency to get into fights with other kids, an unfortunate side-effect of having so few friends his age around his neighborhood. His school would eventually suggest martial arts as a way to let out his excess aggression, which his mother begrudgingly accepted, knowing the cost would be a bit much to add to their already-strained budget. While this would prove beneficial in the short- and long-term, there was a brief period where his martial arts knowledge got him in a fair bit of trouble in school, beating up a fair few kids who tried to pick on him and his friends. After that moment, however, many of his former bullies wised up and backed off, knowing he wasn’t the kind of kid you wanted to mess with.
  
  At 13, right before he started High School, he took a physical and was told he was a carrier of the A6G23 gene, but unlikely to ever manifest; he simply accepted this as fact and believed he’d just be another normal guy. Unbeknownst to him, his powers would manifest mere months after that, but due to the nature of his powers, no one would notice. While High School was certainly tough for him – his grades would seldom rise above a low C Average - his odd jobs around the neighborhood turned to a part-time job at 16 with one of his neighbors, a construction worker who could use a strapping young man to help with the heavy labor. Zayne took to this surprisingly well, working as hard, if not harder, than most of the adults. He’d also use some of his earnings to take over payment for his Karate lessons, which he was getting fairly proficient in, progressing far faster than most others his age. Because he stayed in near perfect health, he didn’t want to burden anyone by being taken to a hospital for regular checkups, and so for years he built his body up with tough manual labor and martial arts practice.
  
  Life proceeded fairly well, until shortly after Zayne’s 18th birthday, and shortly after he received his first rank black belt. As he was returning from his part-time job, a fire broke out at his apartment complex. Fearing for not only his family, but of the other families that lived there, Zayne rushed in without a moment’s thought. Before the firefighters could arrive, Zayne had managed to rescue not only his family, but also 4 other households within the apartment complex, and he would have continued to save more, but the firefighters stopped him and pointed out the boy’s drastic appearance. His hair seemed to glow like it was on fire, and his body looked like semi-cooled magma, giving off a faint glow, but not feeling warm at all. Zayne stared at his body, confused and suddenly scared, but as soon as the firefighters took over and he was able to rest, his body began to shift back to normal almost immediately, revealing some rather severe burns that also began to heal astonishingly fast.
  
  It would only take a couple days for the Commonwealth to find him, where he was promptly diagnosed, given a thorough explanation of supers, ranked, and assigned to AEGIS. Zayne, however, was hesitant to leave; he wanted to continue living his life as a normal person, working hard to make his family and his community proud, and didn’t know the first thing about being a superhero. His family was quick to reassure him, however, proud of him for his valor and hopeful that he’ll be a fine superhero. With his family’s blessing, Zayne reluctantly agrees to enter AEGIS, hoping to understand his powers and figure out what he can do with them.
  
• Assimilation
  Zayne’s powers form in one of two ways, Long-Term and Short-Term, for lack of better terms. Long-Term, his body is capable of adapting to any climate or living circumstance. While not impervious to extreme hot/cold, he can be comfortable in any temperature given enough time to acclimate. He can also go without food or sleep for extended periods if it’s necessary he do so, and will naturally adapt to overcome hardships over time, such as improving his night vision when the power's out or preventing sickness from eating spoiled/poorly-cooked food. While he was unaware of it for all this time, Zayne is fairly proficient at this side of his powers.
  
  Short-Term, however, is a side to his powers that he is very unaware of, and has no idea how to fully control. Plainly put, he is capable of rapidly reforming his body structure to adapt to dangerous situations, with an apparent focus on self-preservation and/or survival. This could be turning into a being of fire to withstand being in a burning building, adapting gills to breathe underwater, increasing his body’s resistance to cuts and deadly blows, increasing his strength to hold up crushing loads of weight, and so on. The limits of his ability seem to lie only in Zayne’s experiences; the more dangerous situations he experiences, the more varied his powers can become.
  
  
  
  • Healing Factor: As a result of his Assimilation ability, Zayne can heal from wounds far faster than an average human. He can’t regenerate lost limbs, however, and larger wounds will naturally take far longer to heal, leaving normally deadly attacks to still be deadly if he doesn’t have someone to help bind the wound. He’s also more or less impervious to traditional diseases, though whether or not his body can withstand and/or recover from biological weapons is unknown.
  • Memory Form: If Zayne is allowed to assume a certain form enough times, he can recall it at will. He can either choose to commit a partial form to memory or a full form, but partial forms tend to be easier to both remember and perform, though not without some cost. The number of different forms he can commit will increase as his skills increase, but to begin with, the most he can commit is 1 full form or 3 partial forms.
  
  Limitations
  
  
  • Time is a Factor: Zayne has to expose himself to a potentially dangerous situation for no less than 2-3 minutes at the barest of minimums for unfamiliar transformations to occur. For example, in order to gain gills to breathe underwater, Zayne would have to fully submerge himself for up to 3 minutes without an air supply before the gills would form. This time limit can be reduced through regular training, and repeated exposure to the same dangerous situations can see the resulting Form manifest even faster, but most circumstances would see a fair amount of harm dealt to Zayne before his body will finally react.
  • If you keep making that face, it’ll stick that way : While Zayne can commit forms to memory, if he stays in one form for too long – between 48 total hours – then his body will slowly start to make that new form his base form. This process is slow, however, and would require using the same form for multiple times that for it to become a full and permanent change. As an example, his arms are naturally rough and rugged because he spent 2 years working in construction, digging and carrying heavy loads, so his body adapted to better compensate.
  • Sometimes defense is the best offense…right? : While many of them enhance his abilities in one way or another – giving him increased strength, defense, agility, etc. to suit the situation - every last one of Zayne’s transformations seems to be built primarily on self-preservation, and have almost no offensive capabilities. Some would have a passive ability, such as his Fire Form being able to emit high heat temperatures that could burn on touch, but he wouldn’t be able to project fire or form his body into a weapon.
  • Brawn over Brains: Either due to his rather one-sided use over the years or just an inherent flaw in his powers, Zayne cannot use his Assimilation to improve his brain power. At best, Zayne’s powers can increase his focus during a moment of crisis, but nowhere else. His powers won’t help him get better at studying, improve his focus during a test, or make complex things easier to understand, just as a few examples.
• 
  Black Belt: Zayne has a Black Belt in traditional Karate, and eagerly wants to learn more styles of martial arts. When not training his powers or taking classes, Zayne will often rehearse old kata and practice new ones he picks up from the Internet.
  
  Combative: Zayne isn’t afraid of getting into a fight, even if it’s against someone older and/or more experienced. In fact, in cases where someone tries to insult/threaten him – or worse, his friends/family – he’s all the faster to resort to violence, as his verbal arsenal is incredibly limited.
  
  Kinesthetic Learner: Zayne learns best by doing, and anything he can learn by doing he learns far faster than through traditional schooling. As such, he often excelled in Home Economics and Shop Class, the former being bolstered by taking care of his younger brother at home and the latter being bolstered by his time working in Construction. However, as long as it’s something he can learn by being hands-on, he’s never afraid to try.
  
  Academically Inept: While Zayne can learn well by doing, he’s utterly terrible at learning in any other fashion. One-sided lectures tend to put him to sleep, rote memorization rarely provides results, even combining audio-books to physical books doesn’t seem to do much. Furthermore, Zayne was diagnosed at a young age with ADD, which he still combats with, though less so in recent years.
  
  Good-Hearted: Zayne is very big on helping others, and will often offer his services even when he wasn’t directly asked for them. Moreover, with those he trusts, those whom he’s come to know well, he’s even more willing to help, often having trouble saying no to even unreasonable requests. He does know his limits, however, and won’t take on more than he can handle.
  
  
• 
  Katana & Bokken: Since he started his part-time job, Zayne had purchased a couple of weapons to hopefully learn how to use at his Karate school. His first purchase was a Bokken – or wooden sword – and he would later buy a fully-functional katana from a weapons convention. He chose to bring the katana along, feeling it might see some use in his superpower training, but for actual practice he’ll defer to the bokken.
  
  Twin Tonfa: a much more recent purchase, Zayne was fascinated by the Tonfa when one of his Karate Masters demonstrated the weapon. Unfortunately, he has zero training with the weapon, but brought it along as well, just in case.
  
• 
  Zayne's Tattoo
  
  

 

[Necessity4Fun]

Here is The Mechanist 's character again! I'm posting it myself this time so that the website has no excuse to mess it up this time >.> (That was so weird...)
Gus ' critique has been taken into account between us and thus gave birth to a new limitation, which I've kindly nicknamed Clock is Ticking, check it out and give him more advice if you think you must!

Cortez, R

• Stats
• General
• Appearance
• Biography
• Relationships
• Superpower
• Skills and Flaws
• Tools & Weapons

• Heroism Statistics
  Aspect	Scale	Total
  Courage	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱	08
  Altruism	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱	07
  Order	▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱	06
  Kindness	▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱	05
  Proaction	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰	09
  Diplomacy	▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱	05
  Composure	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱	08

  Ability Statistics
  Aspect	Scale	Total
  Health	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Strength	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Defense	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Agility	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Intelligence	▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱	03
  Willpower	▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱	04
  Energy	▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱	06

• Full Name
  Renellius Cortez
  
  Nicknames
  Nate
  
  Codename
  N/A
  
  Gender
  Male
  
  Age
  19
  
  Rank
  B Rank
  
  Limiter
  Active, Level 2
  
  Role
  Student
• Race
  Hispanic
  
  Hair
  Black
  
  Eyes
  Dark Blue
  
  Height
  5' 9''
  
  Figure
  Skinny, 143.9 lbs
  
  Notes
  Always wears cargo pants, doesn't matter if it's a solid color or camouflage, and has a red bandanna either on his arm or neck.
• Thoughtful
  Renellius is empathetic, generous, and kind, doing his best to offers those who need a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on and is extremely mindful of others' feelings and needs. If a person is clearly in need of whatever they requested, Renellius wouldn't take too long to grant it and wouldn't care about the amount of money/effort spent to accomplish the task, as long as it is within his power to do so.
  
  Responsive
  As a general problem solver and a quick thinker, Renellius has the tendency to be the first to respond. He's quick on the draw and capable of coming up with solutions for things in an impressively short time. Just give him a call and there he goes! At the same time, he's a really good listener, will take others' suggestions nicely and change his trail of thought accordingly when he needs to.
  
  'Pathological' Altruism
  His struggles at life have given Renellius a burning desire to shield others from the suffering he has been through and provide them whatever they need to be happy. This dedication to such a 'cause' sometimes goes over his head, making him forget or overshadow his own needs and desires in the process. He gets so worked up about helping everyone else that he ends up with little to no time to himself. When in a fight, this trait manifests itself via a tendency to throw himself in the front and serve as a human shield to others.
  
  Rash
  To those who have earned his ire, Renellius can be really aggressive and go as far as pushing his moral code aside to teach the person a good lesson. If he has been seriously hurt or offended, he might deem the perpetrators unworthy of his mercy and get carried away when responding to the aggression. This is mostly verbal, but could also range to violence depending on the offence taken.
  
  
  History
  Sent from Mexico to South Texas by his poor family, Renellius Cortez went to live with his uncle, Manuel, when he was 10 years old so that he could have better conditions and a proper education. There, he went to school normally, but also learned all about his uncle's profession, mechanic, eventually helping around the shop and fixing things himself.
  Manuel Cortez noticed that his nephew had an unusual aptitude for the job: he would understand instructions really well, constantly accomplish new tasks successfully on the first try and even guess which tools to use where just by looking at them for a while. It was truly exceptional for such a young age, a talent that should not go to waste. He proceeded to encourage the young man to indulge in the area.
  
  At age 14, Renellius got accepted into a Technology Institute in Baltimore, the many of multiple schools he had applied for and the most promising looking one from the few he had indeed passed. Having been offered quite the generous cut from the monthly fee and a place to stay on campus, he took it as the door to a possible life change and moved on.
  There he had two blocks of classes, one that had electrical engineering as their focus, specific classes, and another that was mandatory to all students composed of Math, Reading, Science and Social Studies, called 'core' classes. Life was great and despite a few gaps here an there due to his simple upbringing Renellius managed to adapt his own rhythm to the school's, that is, until something very unexpected happened.
  
  It was a really important practical assignment and though he was sure that he had read the books required at least twenty times, he was drawing a blank about what exactly the words had been. The silence of the white classroom was mortifying, the tic-tac of the clock on the wall only served to make him even more nervous! The young man went over the instructions again in his mind, one, two, ten times, he was sure there was one bit he was remembering wrong, but what was it?
  A student yelled in the background, breaking his concentration and then, he realized a huge mess of components over his desk... He could swear half of these weren't there before! How had components from all over the class ended up on top of his table??
  
  Some of his colleagues had an idea of what was going on, the teacher certainly did, calling the authorities right away. A really confused Renellius was then taken to the Commonwealth building, shown a recording of pieces of circuits 'floating' to his table, even assembling themselves together, and had a long, long explanation about supers given to him. Once he was less confused, he proceeded to get tested, ranked and assigned to AEGIS. And that was it, one single day, it had been all it took to throw his life into disarray...
  Now, a year later, Renellius has warmed up to the idea of being a superhero someday. Inspired by the many classes at 108 and his own progress with his power, he's striving for a blue card and making a living as a vigilante. Renellius' ultimate goal is to drag his family out of poverty and perhaps, he'd accomplish to do so easier as a vigilante than as an electrical engineer. Only time will say.
• Manuel Cortez
  Renellius' Uncle who is a mechanic, has a shop and with who Renellius spent part of his childhood with. Noticed how easier the young man picked up the tools of his trade and encouraged him to follow that path and even go beyond with it. If he only knew just how right he was!
• Technopathy
  A sub-type of Telekinesis. It is the ability to manipulate and/or tamper with technology with merely one's mind. Renellius Cortez is capable of assembling, disassembling and even doing more precise tasks (exchanging parts) to machines and devices simply by concentrating on a task he wishes to accomplish and willing them to happen. The components and parts nearby will then proceed to stick together in the desired positions, resulting in the creation a device or machine. These can also be released from each other just as easily.
  For objects to be affected this way, they need to be a piece of technology, meaning they must be associated with appliances, devices, machines and mechanical inventions, without criteria on how complex they can be. For an example, his ability can still work perfectly with nails and screws because despite not being a lot by themselves, they're able to be used as a part of a bigger whole, as long as that end result does indeed fit the definition of technology.
  
  
  • Faint Electromagnetism Manipulation: The connection between the components of his own created machines are done by magnetic adherence. When he wills certain parts together, they're polarized in a way that the sides that are supposed to stick to each other receive opposite charges, thus making them 'glue' to each other. This process repeated to every connection of a creation and are strong enough that the structure can maintain itself without being joined by any screws and cables if he so desires them to be. It allows room for some very unique and rather unusual designs to be brought to life.
    His control over electromagnetism however doesn't end in the macro scale but also pertains the micro world. Renellius is capable of manipulating even the charges of atomic particles of all metals, polarizing and magnetizing them as described above even if the object does not classify as technology. It is, however, weak by itself, meaning that he could use it to 'glue', for example, two coins to each other making them magnetic and they would remain like so until their charges are neutralized again, but not much more beyond that.
  • Mechanical Constructs: Renellius power allows him to create all sorts of constructs, as long as the materials are present, but when the desire is to make a robot, things change a little bit. Every robot must be given a purpose upon it's creation. These can range from very specific orders such as a chain of commands, something as vague as 'protect me' or even something simple and silly such as 'sit there and look cute'. Upon complexion of the first task the construct remains inert until it is given a new purpose. A task can be changed before it's complexion, but there's a slight delay before it moves again, due to the removal of the older order and the input of a new one.
    Renellius and all of his robot creations are connected by a mental link, allowing an order to be relayed by thought as long as the constructs are in range. Out of range, a robot will instantly stop moving, having fulfilled its purpose or not. Potentially, Renellius can also grant his constructs an A.I., making them fully autonomous, able to make their own decisions even if still subordinated to him. This last ability is, however, not something he can do at will at the moment.
  
  Limitations
  
  • You May Only Be this Tall: As long as they're in range and there is enough material in the ambient, there may as many constructs, and they may be as tiny, as possible. There is, however, one extra limitation size limitation: no single construct can be taller than 11' 8''.
  • Remain Close: Renellius' robot creations can be separated into three categories due to their size: Small, Medium, and Large. Small and Medium constructs can move in a radial distance of a max of 50ft away from him, at least if they're a size lower than 8 ft. Go beyond that and the range will become shorter and shorter as the size grows until you reach mounting-only territory at 11 ft. Constructs that size may only move for as long as Renellius is riding on top of it, like a war mount.
  • Clock is Ticking: Akin to the conventional methods of doing it, building things with his power requires time and patience. A small construct takes a minute to be ready, the medium ones from 3 to 10 and the large, mount ones take 30 to 45 minutes. How long a build will take depends on the design, type of the material, size of the material and distance prior attachment (where all the pieces were before), thus making it so that each singular construct will have it's own required time of wait and rarely share it exactly with another construct, no matter how similar they are.
  • Getting packed: The "as long as there is material to work with and it's in range" rule doesn't apply to a situation where a large robot construct is active. It takes a big toll on Renellius' mental network to the point that he is unable to keep all of the mental links 'up and running' while riding it. Thus, he may only keep 4 small robots or a medium one plus 2 small ones or 2 medium-sized ones active, along with the large one. Any other robots in the area will go inactive even if they're still in range. Using the large construct makes Renellius incredibly fatigued afterwards. As a consequence, as soon as the large construct is disassembled he needs to rest and is unable to use his power again until he does so.
  • Interference: Since his ability depends on mental links, the mental attacks of a telepathic super can create severe interference and hinder Renellius power useless for as long as the interference is in effect. Other electromagnetic supers and anything else that can possibly tamper with the magnetic connections is also a bother.
    In a similar way, the presence of barriers between him and his robot constructs makes the exchange of orders take a lot more of effort, wearing him tired a lot faster. It is better to just remain in the same room as the constructs through all times.
  • Shut down: If Renellius' mental network is completely blocked, he stops focusing into it at all, is knocked out or he gets so tired that he ends up passing out, the whole 'system' goes into 'shut down'. His power quits working, prompting all constructs that were being held together by the electromagnetic connections to instantly crumble and collapse back into merely its individual parts, robots and not-robots alike.
• Skills
  
  
  • Cooking: When you're the member of a poor family, cooking becomes a very important skill to guarantee survival. As such, Renellius has been taught and harbouring this skill from a very young age, to the point that, if he so desired, he could work as a chef and probably be successful in the field.
  • Patience: Due to his struggles in life, Renellius has learned that panicking when results take time to come doesn't help. In fact, by panicking, one could easily make a terrible decision and throw the good thing that was yet to arrive out of the window. As such, he has learned to wait for people to act at their own pace and things to get better. It's extremely hard to get in the nerves of this guy, as he's able to put up with even the most annoying of types.
    Patience is also a big key to his power since the constructs take a while to get ready, even if they're technically building themselves. If he couldn't keep his attention on them during the time needed, he'd never get anything built.
  • Focus: Renellius knows the importance of concentrating fully on the task at hand. When given something to do he's capable of perfectly sticking with it until it's done, despite the amount of distracting elements there could be in the background.
    To best use his power, Renellius has trained this skill so that he's able to tune out the outside world when using it, but also return his attention to the environment in a heartbeat just in case he needs to be aware of something. It's almost as if he has a 'focus switch' designed to quickly change tasks.
  • Creativity: Renellius has always been one to think out of the box. When there's a problem to be solved and everyone else seems to be stuck with that one tiny detail that's missing, he's usually the one to point it out or either come up with a completely different thing altogether, which might just be what they needed.
    This tendency to a different point of view when allied to the knowledge of engineering and tools he has acquired from both watching his uncle work, and the course on technology he has attended to, would have already made Renellius reliable, pair that with his power then and you get a force to be reckoned with. He's capable of vividly picturing piece by piece of anything he'd like to build, as well as imagine how devices he has never seen before are built, just by hearing about what they do and what components they have.
  
  
  Flaws
  
  
  • Overthinking: There's always a change that when Renellius needs to make a very important decision, he'll start going over all of the options, again and again, accounting for a number of extra things that wouldn't actually influence the decision at all... In the end, he might make something extremely simple into a castle of pros and cons needlessly.
    This flaw also comes up when Renellius is dealing with someone he considers an authority in a given situation. Afraid to give the impression of being a fool to said person, he might trip over his trail of thought and assign interpretations to the other' words that weren't there in the beginning, possibly causing all sorts of misunderstandings in the process.
  • Penny-pincher: Coming from a struggling and needy family, Renellius has grown into the kind of person that saves money whenever it is possible. Meanwhile his altruistic tendencies will make him give urgency to other's people's needs before his own, desiring they don't go through need the same way he has in life, he will still categorize the things asked into 'wants' or 'needs' in case he's approached for money, meaning it is not always given that he will comply with the request. Renellius will not put his health at risk by buying only from the cheapest brands in existence, but at the same time will always go for a middle ground between quality and price when affording the things he needs.
  • Terrible Liar: When telling a lie, Renellius will get nervous, lose his trail of thought and stammer a lot while trying to say whatever he was supposed to. It would take a huge amount of effort, practice and rehearsal before he's able to deceive anyone.
  • Distrust: Renellius is very distrusting of strangers. Not used to having people approach him first, especially if they're notably on a different economic standing than himself, he'll grow suspicious, wondering what their reasons to approach are and if they're just interacting because there's some self-gain in play (maybe they want something). It takes him a while to warm up to new people.
• Renellius always brings with him a grey, rectangular toolbox, which contains an array of different tools in case he wants to tinker with something in the old-fashion way or his powers just aren't enough for the task. Anything with a handle has it in a red shade, for some consistency:
  
  Hammer: [Tool] Just a normal, 8 inches long, claw hammer. Both head and handle are made of steel and its end is covered by an anti-slip rubber to make one's grip on it even more stable. It's good for when you need to, well, hammer things into place and also remove nails.
  
  Screwdriver: [Tool] A 10 inches long screwdriver with interchangeable bits, that are stored inside its handle. The handle slides out presenting all of the neatly organized different bits inside, held in place by little plastic 'clamps', then slides back in for use, merely give it a twist to lock everything into place. Untwist it to open and change bits again.
  
  Pack of Wrenches: [Tools] Actually has its own, similarly colored box and thus is stored away from all the other tools. Its filled with every type of combination and socket wrenches one could ever need. Extremely useful.
  
  Pliers: [Tool] Is 9 inches long and as every other pliers, has an insulated grip to avoid the user getting electrocuted while using it. Has a lifetime warranty and is rust resistant. Really strong and multi-use tool.
  
  Wire Cutters: [Tool] Also called diagonal pliers or cutting pliers. Is 8 inches long and has the same properties as the pliers. In fact, they were bought together and might even be from the very same brand. Obviously has fewer uses than it's not diagonal cousin.

 

[The Mechanist]

Here is The Mechanist 's character again! I'm posting it myself this time so that the website has no excuse to mess it up this time >.> (That was so weird...)
Gus ' critique has been taken into account between us and thus gave birth to a new limitation, which I've kindly nicknamed Clock is Ticking, check it out and give him more advice if you think you must!

Cortez, R

• Stats
• General
• Appearance
• Biography
• Relationships
• Superpower
• Skills and Flaws
• Tools & Weapons

• Heroism Statistics
  Aspect	Scale	Total
  Courage	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱	08
  Altruism	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱	07
  Order	▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱	06
  Kindness	▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱	05
  Proaction	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰	09
  Diplomacy	▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱	05
  Composure	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱	08

  Ability Statistics
  Aspect	Scale	Total
  Health	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Strength	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Defense	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Agility	▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱	03
  Intelligence	▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱	03
  Willpower	▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱	04
  Energy	▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱	05

• Full Name
  Renellius Cortez
  
  Nicknames
  Nate
  
  Codename
  N/A
  
  Gender
  Male
  
  Age
  19
  
  Rank
  B Rank
  
  Limiter
  Active, Level 2
  
  Role
  Student
• Race
  Hispanic
  
  Hair
  Black
  
  Eyes
  Dark Blue
  
  Height
  5' 9''
  
  Figure
  Skinny, 143.9 lbs
  
  Notes
  Always wears cargo pants, doesn't matter if it's a solid color or camouflage, and has a red bandanna either on his arm or neck.
• Thoughtful
  Renellius is empathetic, generous, and kind, doing his best to offers those who need a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on and is extremely mindful of others' feelings and needs. If a person is clearly in need of whatever they requested, Renellius wouldn't take too long to grant it and wouldn't care about the amount of money/effort spent to accomplish the task, as long as it is within his power to do so.
  
  Responsive
  As a general problem solver and quick thinker, Renellius has the tendency to be the first to respond. He's quick on the draw and capable of coming up with solutions for things in an impressive short time. Just give him a call and there he goes! At the same time, he's a really good listener, will take others' suggestions nicely and change his trail of thought accordingly when he needs to.
  
  Rash
  To those who have earned his ire, Renellius can be really aggressive and go as far as pushing his moral code aside to teach the person a good lesson. If he has been seriously hurt or offended, he might deem the perpetrators unworthy of his mercy and get carried away when responding to the aggression. This is mostly verbal, but could also range to violence depending on the offense taken.
  
  'Pathological' Altruism
  His struggles at life have given Renellius a burning desire to shield others from the suffering he has been through and provide them whatever they need to be happy. This dedication to such a 'cause' sometimes goes over his head, making him forget or overshadow his own needs and desires in the process. He gets so worked up about helping everyone else that he ends up with little to no time to himself. When in a fight, this trait manifests itself via a tendency to throw himself in the front and serve as a human shield to others.
  
  
  History
  Sent from Mexico to South Texas by his poor family, Renellius Cortez went to live with his uncle, Manuel, when he was 10 years old so that he could have better conditions and a proper education. There, he went to school normally, but also learned all about his uncle's profession, mechanic, eventually helping around the shop and fixing things himself.
  Manuel Cortez noticed that his nephew had an unusual aptitude for the job: he would understand instructions really well, constantly accomplish new tasks successfully on the first try and even guess which tools to use where just by looking at them for a while. It was truly exceptional for such a young age, a talent that should not go to waste. He proceed to encourage the young man to indulge in the area.
  
  At age 14, Renellius got accepted into a Technology Institute in Baltimore, the many of multiple schools he had applied for and the most promising looking one from the few he had indeed passed. Having been offered quite the generous cut from the monthly fee and a place to stay in campus, he took it as the door to a possible life change and moved on.
  There he had two blocks of classes, one that had electrical engineering as their focus, specific classes, and another that was mandatory to all students composed of Math, Reading, Science and Social Studies, called 'core' classes. Life was great and despite a few gaps here an there due to his simple upbringing Renellius managed to adapt his own rhythm to the school's, that is, until something very unexpected happened.
  
  It was a really important practical assignment and though he was sure that he had read the books required at least twenty times, he was drawing a blank about what exactly the words had been. The silence of the white classroom was mortifying, the tic-tac of the clock on the wall only served to make him even more nervous! The young man went over the instructions again in his mind, one, two, ten times, he was sure there was one bit he was remembering wrong, but what was it?
  A student yelled in the background, breaking his concentration and then, he realized a huge mess of components over his desk... He could swear half of these weren't there before! How had components from all over the class ended up on top of his table??
  
  Some of his colleagues had an idea of what was going on, the teacher certainly did, calling the authorities right away. A really confused Renellius was then took to the commonwealth building, shown a recording of pieces of circuits 'floating' to his table, even assembling themselves together, and had a long, long explanation about supers given to him. Once he was less confused, he proceeded to get tested, ranked and assigned to AEGIS. And that was it, one single day, it had been all it took to throw his life into disarray...
  Now, a year later, Renellius has warmed up to idea of being a superhero someday. Inspired by the many classes at 108 and his own progress with his power, he's striving for a blue card and making a living as a vigilante. Renellius' ultimate goal is to drag his family out of poverty and perhaps, he'd accomplish to do so easier as a vigilante than as an electrical engineer. Only time will say.
• Manuel Cortez
  Renellius' Uncle who is a mechanic and has a shop. Noticed
• Technopathy
  A sub-type of Telekinesis. It is the ability to manipulate and/or tamper with technology with merely one's mind. Renellius Cortez is capable of assembling, disassembling and even doing more precise tasks (exchanging parts) to machines and devices simply by concentrating on a task he wishes to accomplish and willing them to happen. The components and parts nearby will then proceed to stick together in the desired positions, resulting in the creation a device or machine. These can also be released from each other just as easily.
  For objects to be affected this way, they need to be a piece of technology, meaning they must be associated with appliances, devices, machines and mechanical inventions, without a criteria on how complex they can be. For an example, his ability can still work perfectly with nails and screws because despite not being a lot by themselves, they're able to be used as a part of a bigger whole, as long as that end result does indeed fit the definition of technology.
  
  
  • Faint Electromagnetism Manipulation: The connection between the components of his own created machines are done by magnetic adherence. When he wills certain parts together, they're polarized in a way that the sides that are supposed to stick to each other receive opposite charges, thus making them 'glue' to each other. This process repeated to every connection of a creation and are strong enough that the structure can maintain itself without being joined by any screws and cables if he so desire them to be. It allows room for some very unique and rather unusual designs to be brought to life.
    His control over electromagnetism however doesn't end in the macro scale, but also pertains the micro world. Renellius is capable of manipulating even the charges of atomic particles of all metals, polarizing and magnetizing them as described above even if the object does not classify as technology. It is however, weak by itself, meaning that he could use it to 'glue', for example, two coins to each other making them magnetic and they would remain like so until their charges are neutralized again, but not much more beyond that.
  • Mechanical Constructs: Renellius power allows him to create all sorts of constructs, as long as the materials are present, but when the desire is to make a robot, things change a little bit. Every robot must be given a purpose upon it's creation. These can range for very specific orders such as a chain of commands, something as vague as 'protect me' or even something simple and silly such as 'sit there and look cute'. Upon complexion of the first task the construct remains inert until it is given a new purpose. A task can be change before it's complexion, but there's a slight delay before it moves again, due to the removal of the older order and the input of a new one.
    Renellius and all of his robot creations are connected by a mental link, allowing order to be relayed by thought as long as the constructs are in range. Out of range, a robot will instantly stop moving, having fulfilled its purpose or not. Potentially, Renellius can also grant his constructs an A.I., making them fully autonomous, able to make their own decisions even if still subordinated to him. This last ability is, however, not something he can do at will at the moment.
  
  Limitations
  
  • You May Only Be this Tall: As long as they're in range and there is enough material in the ambient, there may as many constructs, and they may be as tiny, as possible. There is, however, one extra limitation size limitation: no single construct can be taller than 11' 8''.
  • Remain Close: Renellius' robot creations can be separated in three categories due to their size: Small, Medium, and Large. Small and Medium constructs can move in a radial distance of a max of 50ft away from him, at least if they're a size lower than 8 ft. Go beyond that and the range will become shorter and shorter as the size grows, until you reach mounting-only territory at 11 ft. Constructs that size may only move for as long as Renellius is riding on top of it, like a war mount.
  • Clock is Ticking: Akin to the conventional methods of doing it, building things with his power requires time and patience. A small construct takes a minute to be ready, the medium ones from 3 to 10 and the large, mount ones take 30 to 45 minutes. How long a build will take depends on the design, type of the material, size of the material and distance prior attachment (where all the pieces were before), thus making it so that each singular construct will have it's own required time of wait and rarely share it exactly with another construct, no matter how similar they are.
  • Getting packed: The "as long as there is material to work with and it's in range" rule doesn't apply to a situation where a large robot construct is active. It takes a big toll on Renellius' mental network to the point that he is unable to keep all of the mental links 'up and running' while riding it. Thus, he may only keep 4 small robots or a medium one plus 2 small ones or 2 medium sized ones active, along with the large one. Any other robots in the area will go inactive even if they're still in range. Using the large construct makes Renellius incredibly fatigued afterwards. As a consequence, as soon as the large construct is disassembled he needs to rest and is unable to use his power again until he does so.
  • Interference: Since his ability depends on mental links, the mental attacks of a telepathic super can create severe interference and hinder Renellius power useless for as long as the interference is in effect. Other electromagnetic supers and anything else that can possibly tamper with the magnetic connections is also a bother.
    On a similar way, the presence of barriers between him and his robot constructs makes the exchange of orders take a lot more of effort, wearing him tired a lot faster. It is better to just remain in the same room as the constructs through all times.
  • Shut down: If Renellius' mental network is completely blocked, he stops focusing into it at all, is knocked out or he gets so tired that he ends up passing out, the whole 'system' goes into 'shut down'. His power quits working, prompting all constructs that were being held together by the electromagnetic connections to instantly crumble and collapse back into merely its individual parts, robots and not-robots alike.
• Skills
  
  
  • Cooking: When you're the member of a poor family, cooking becomes a very important skill to guarantee survival. As such, Renellius has been taught and harboring this skill from a very young age, to the point that, if he so desired, he could work as a chef and probably be successful in the field.
  • Patience: Due to his struggles in life, Renellius has learned that panicking when results take time to come doesn't help. In fact, by panicking, one could easy make a terrible decision and throw the good thing that was yet to arrive out of the window. As such, he has learned to wait for people to act at their own pace and things to get better. It's extremely hard to get in the nerves of this guy, as he's able to put up with even the most annoying of types.
    Patience is also a big key of his power since the constructs take a while to get ready, even if they're technically building themselves. If he couldn't keep his attention on them during the time needed, he'd never get anything built.
  • Focus: Renellius knows the importance of concentrating fully in the task at hand. When given something to do he's capable of perfectly sticking with it until it's done, despite of the amount of distracting elements there could be in the background.
    To best use his power, Renellius has trained this skill so that he's able to tune out the outside world when using it, but also return his attention to the environment in a heartbeat just in case he needs to be aware of something. It's almost as if he has a 'focus switch' designed to quickly change tasks.
  • Creativity: Renellius has always been one to think out of the box. When there's a problem to be solved and everyone else seems to be stuck with that one tiny detail that's missing, he's usually the one to point it out or either come up with a completely different thing all together, which might just be what they needed.
    This tendency to a different point of view when allied to the knowledge of engineering and tools he has acquired from both watching his uncle work, and the course on technology he has attended to, would have already made Renellius reliable, pair that with his power then and you get a force to be reckoned with. He's capable of vividly picturing piece by piece of anything he'd like to build, as well as imagine how devices he has never seen before are built, just by hearing about what they do and what components they have.
  
  
  Flaws
  
  
  • Overthinking: There's always a change that when Renellius needs to make a very important decision, he'll start going over all of the options, again and again, accounting for a number of extra things that wouldn't actually influence the decision at all... In the end he might make something extremely simple into a castle of pros and cons needlessly.
    This flaw also comes up when Renellius is dealing with someone he considers authority in a given situation. Afraid to give the impression of being a fool to said person, he might trip over his trail of thought and assign interpretations to the other' words that weren't there in the beginning, possibly causing all sorts of misunderstandings in the process.
  • Penny-pincher: Coming from a struggling and needy family, Renellius has grown into the kind of person that saves money whenever it is possible. Meanwhile his altruistic tendencies will make him give urgency to other's people's needs before his own, desiring they don't go through need the same way he has in life, he will still categorize the things asked into 'wants' or 'needs' in case he's approached for money, meaning it is not always given that he will comply with the request. Renellius will not put his health at risk by buying only from the cheapest brands in existence, but at the same time will always go for a middle ground between quality and price when affording the things he needs.
  • Terrible Liar: When telling a lie, Renellius will get nervous, lose his trail of thought and stammer a lot while trying to say whatever he was supposed to. It would take a huge amount of effort, practice and rehearsal before he's able to deceive anyone.
  • Distrust: Renellius is very distrusting of strangers. Not used to having people approach him first, specially if they're notably on a different economical standing than himself, he'll grow suspicious, wondering what their reasons to approach are and if they're just interacting because there's some self-gain in play (maybe they want something). It takes him a while to warm up to new people.
• Renellius always brings with him a grey, rectangular tool box, which contains an array of different tools in case he wants to tinker with something in the old-fashion way or his powers just aren't enough for the task. Anything with a handle has it in a red shade, for some consistency:
  
  Hammer: [Tool] Just a normal, 8 inches long, claw hammer. Both head and handle are made of steel and its end is covered by an anti-slip rubber to make one's grip of it even more stable. It's good for when you need to, well, hammer things into place and also remove nails.
  
  Screwdriver: [Tool] A 10 inches long screwdriver with interchangeable bits, that are stored inside its handle. The handle slides out presenting all of the neatly organized different bits inside, held in place by little plastic 'clamps', then slides back in for use, merely give it a twist to lock everything into place. Untwist it to open and change bits again.
  
  Pack of Wrenches: [Tools] Actually has its own, similarly colored box and thus is stored away from all the other tools. Its filled with every type of combination and socket wrenches one could ever need. Extremely useful.
  
  Pliers: [Tool] Is 9 inches long and as every other pliers has a insulated grip to avoid the user getting electrocuted while using it. Has a lifetime warranty and is rust resistant. Really strong and multi-use tool.
  
  Wire Cutters: [Tool] Also called diagonal pliers or cutting pliers. Is 8 inches long and has the same properties as the pliers. In fact, they were bought together and might even be of the very same brand. Obviously has less uses than its not diagonal cousin.

You are a Saint ;=;

 

[Tyrannosaurus Rekt]

And here is another trash baby for judgment.

 

[Lemon Boy]

Gaze at my terrible character and despair ye mighty.

 

[Lemon Boy]

The Fuzzy Pixel
Right off the bat, Maple seems like a very solid character. Clear stats that correlate with her powers perfectly, a D Rank: a rank which we're lacking in terms of how prevalent they are and a power that seems very well balanced whilst also looking like it can still be impactful in story. Initially I was a bit apprehensive of it's mental effect on others but given the vector of it {Gas clouds} It seems quite counter-able unlike the usual emotional manipulating types that simply look at you or something to do something. In addition to that, It seems like you're going for a much more supportive/utility role in it's usage given your examples listed in the Superpower section itself, which is a big plus. Powers look good to me.

Personality section is just as good as the powers. They all fit in terms of being either Good, Neutral or Bad and mesh together well. The heroism statistics seem to reflect what you've described well. Biography seems well written and comes off as mysterious in a good way without seeming contrived or annoying which is a frequent thing that happens when people try to do so well done on executing that well! Flows nicely and has all the relevant information that we need to know. Certainly doesn't feel like a slog to read through. I like how she's directly related to the story as well through her father personally.

Not much to say about the Skills and Tools section given their nature. Don't seem too worrisome, all of the stuff she has makes sense with her character and she isn't being snowflakey by carrying around a magical demon sword or rocket launcher casually at all times. Overall seems like a very good character to me and I'll definitely enjoy seeing her around!

The Mechanist Necessity4Fun
Just like with Pixel, seems like a good character off the bat. The stats mostly fit his power, with the only questionable thing being the third point in agility, which should be put into Energy in my opinion just to better reflect his abilities. In regards to his powers, just like I said before they seem very good and fairly balanced but perhaps could be in need of some trimming and less techno-babble so It's easier for the less scientifically inclined {Such as moi} to understand and comprehend. Aside from these issues, however, it seems well thought out to me!

Personality seems fairly solid in terms of the traits, however, you might want to swap the positions of "Rash" and "Pathological Altruism"? The former seems like a much greater negative trait than the latter, which in my opinion comes across as a bit more of a Good-Neutral trait. Other than that, that part of the Biography section seems pretty solid to me. History, much like the personality section, seems pretty alright and standard. Doesn't try to be overly snowflakey or anything like that so it's good to me.

Skills and tools seem fine, standard issue stuff. Character looks good to me aside from the little issues that I see but once those are dealt with, I'd be A-Ok playing alongside this character and seeing them in the RP!

Tyrannosaurus Rekt
What a handsome lil ginger boi. Will only be reviewing Wallace here because I'm pretty sure I basically gave my personal approval of Charlie in the Discord server.

Powers seem totally fine to me, well balanced and easy to understand. I very much appreciate your creation of lower-tier characters when it comes to powers. Biography is a bit long but that's not exactly much of an issue really and other than that, it seems fairly good and interesting whilst also making sense with his personality and how he is now. The heroism stats seem to fit mostly, hhoowwevverr I'm left a bit confused at the fact that he has a Nine in Courage even though he's explicitly described as a coward in the flaws section? Not sure if that's a misunderstanding on my part or yours.

Outside of that single little issue, Wallace seems pretty well written to me! I shall eagerly await his official initiation into the RP.
ChaosZereul
Alright so first issue off the bat is that Zayne definitely isn't a B rank with Powers and stats like he's got at the moment. He's an Upper-bound S rank with 27 Points, which isn't really the type of character power-wise that should be pursued by a person who's newly joining the RP; characters with rankings like that are generally kept to people who have been active for a while because it's a lot easier to trust them to not go overboard with it and so we know what to expect from them. Not an impossibility, but it's something that personally makes me and a fair few others very worried and a bit uncomfortable.

In my opinion, power-wise I think you're trying to do too much at once and there isn't really a good way to balance out. Taking on a fire form sounds like an impressive power on it's own already, but for him it just seems like a standard thing that could happen which is a big concern. The Long-term effects of his powers are concerning because he has the potential to stack on a bunch of buffs that are effectively permanent which can't really be tracked or countered in a meaningful way without him just adapting to that as well. Things like Night Vision as well would require a point in Intelligence that would represent his Super capabilities in that area, something which he does not have at the moment.

The short-term of his powers wouldn't be as concerning if he didn't do so much at once, but he does. Half of the things you've stated in his Superpower section could be standalone powers on their own and as a result of that, he just seems to have a buffet of capabilities that make him incredibly useful in nearly every situation without much effort, which isn't exactly something that should be capable of being done. Struggle is a good thing when it comes to developing characters and making an interesting story: truth be told, I can't see this character struggling with anything at all with powers like his. What's the point of being innovative in story at all when you have so many powers at your disposal? It doesn't seem like a fun thing to play against for anyone and I find it hard to see how it could be fun to play.

The memory-form power of his as well just takes this all to eleven as well. Not only can he adapt to just about anything if given enough time, sometimes he can just totally mitigate that issue and just think of something to deal with a situation. The potential scaling aspect of it as well should be a thing taken out entirely, powers shouldn't be a thing that become stronger over-time. The amount of forms should be fixed or at the very least, fluctuate between a minimum and a maximum. Talking about scaling, one of his weaknesses is practically mitigated entirely so long as he keeps training, again something that shouldn't be a thing.

The next weakness he has as well seems like something that has a very rare chance of occurring at all that it might as well not be a weakness. 48 Hours is a hell of a long time, long enough that the weakness just has no impact on his current capabilities at all. The example named as well in this weakness doesn't even sound like a disadvantage at all, it sounds like a total benefit without much cost. Once again, mitigating the impact this weakness has on his powers at all. The other weakness he has suffers from this as well. In my opinion, having little offensive capabilities seems like something that isn't really a weakness at all. It doesn't sound like a weakness at all, just a little caveat that we should keep note of. It doesn't really help balance out his powers at all. The only impactful weakness he has in the last one and having one valid weakness for a power such as his is concerning. The only counter I can see other players employing against him is beating him instantly and if they don't do that, they're stuck fighting a person who can counter most of the things that they can do. It's not fun.

If I had to make some suggestions on how the power could be changed, I'd say tone it down entirely; cut away the incredible amounts of versatility that he has, give him one solid power that is actually one solid power and not something that in reality lets him do a thousand things at once. Maybe he's surrounded by a mediocre forcefield that slightly enhances his strength but as the forcefield is damaged, it strengthens, increasing his defensive capabilities and strength or just give him some plain Superstrength and durability. At the moment he seems overly complex, overly versatile and incapable of being countered in a meaningful way.

If the character was put into the roleplay now, in his current state? I would not be comfortable or happy at all and would probably resort to outright avoidance so I wouldn't have to go through playing against something so strong and unfun.

 

[Necessity4Fun]

Just like with Pixel, seems like a good character off the bat. The stats mostly fit his power, with the only questionable thing being the third point in agility, which should be put into Energy in my opinion just to better reflect his abilities. In regards to his powers, just like I said before they seem very good and fairly balanced but perhaps could be in need of some trimming and less techno-babble so It's easier for the less scientifically inclined {Such as moi} to understand and comprehend. Aside from these issues, however, it seems well thought out to me!

Personality seems fairly solid in terms of the traits, however, you might want to swap the positions of "Rash" and "Pathological Altruism"? The former seems like a much greater negative trait than the latter, which in my opinion comes across as a bit more of a Good-Neutral trait. Other than that, that part of the Biography section seems pretty solid to me. History, much like the personality section, seems pretty alright and standard. Doesn't try to be overly snowflakey or anything like that so it's good to me.

Skills and tools seem fine, standard issue stuff. Character looks good to me aside from the little issues that I see but once those are dealt with, I'd be A-Ok playing alongside this character and seeing them in the RP!

Yeah, I think I mentioned this before but we did the stats prior to any of the writing, so some things such as that could be a little off, unless Mech wants to keep it and arguments why. I don't know, I'm just the one writing it down! :3

As for being more concise and less sciency, if it is a big need and something that comes up more times, we would need some help with that since both of us are the sciency and very detailed explanation types... I definitely wouldn't know how to go about it, I don't know about him.

I had the same vibe as you with the personality traits, just didn't want to be the one to pitch about it since I've had already pitched a LOT during the brainstorm and then the writing processes ^^'

Let's wait and see what Mech says! >w<

 

[Tyrannosaurus Rekt]

The heroism stats seem to fit mostly, hhoowwevverr I'm left a bit confused at the fact that he has a Nine in Courage even though he's explicitly described as a coward in the flaws section? Not sure if that's a misunderstanding on my part or yours.

The idea is that he HAS a lot of courage in situations that he knows he can win, which are mostly social situations and situations that play to his skillset/powerset. Put him in front of a giant fire monster, and he's leaving. But I see what you're saying, I rammed that courage into his heroic stats, when all his courage falls in non-heroic situations. I'll reduce the actual stat. Now if there was a swagger stat...

And apologies for the length of the bio. I hate long bios, but as you said, I had to do some explaining as to his current mindset. I probably could have condensed it some places, though. I'll probably give a readthrough of it today, and trim where I can in case it needs to be referenced in the future.

 

[The Mechanist]

The Fuzzy Pixel
Right off the bat, Maple seems like a very solid character. Clear stats that correlate with her powers perfectly, a D Rank: a rank which we're lacking in terms of how prevalent they are and a power that seems very well balanced whilst also looking like it can still be impactful in story. Initially I was a bit apprehensive of it's mental effect on others but given the vector of it {Gas clouds} It seems quite counter-able unlike the usual emotional manipulating types that simply look at you or something to do something. In addition to that, It seems like you're going for a much more supportive/utility role in it's usage given your examples listed in the Superpower section itself, which is a big plus. Powers look good to me.

Personality section is just as good as the powers. They all fit in terms of being either Good, Neutral or Bad and mesh together well. The heroism statistics seem to reflect what you've described well. Biography seems well written and comes off as mysterious in a good way without seeming contrived or annoying which is a frequent thing that happens when people try to do so well done on executing that well! Flows nicely and has all the relevant information that we need to know. Certainly doesn't feel like a slog to read through. I like how she's directly related to the story as well through her father personally.

Not much to say about the Skills and Tools section given their nature. Don't seem too worrisome, all of the stuff she has makes sense with her character and she isn't being snowflakey by carrying around a magical demon sword or rocket launcher casually at all times. Overall seems like a very good character to me and I'll definitely enjoy seeing her around!

The Mechanist Necessity4Fun
Just like with Pixel, seems like a good character off the bat. The stats mostly fit his power, with the only questionable thing being the third point in agility, which should be put into Energy in my opinion just to better reflect his abilities. In regards to his powers, just like I said before they seem very good and fairly balanced but perhaps could be in need of some trimming and less techno-babble so It's easier for the less scientifically inclined {Such as moi} to understand and comprehend. Aside from these issues, however, it seems well thought out to me!

Personality seems fairly solid in terms of the traits, however, you might want to swap the positions of "Rash" and "Pathological Altruism"? The former seems like a much greater negative trait than the latter, which in my opinion comes across as a bit more of a Good-Neutral trait. Other than that, that part of the Biography section seems pretty solid to me. History, much like the personality section, seems pretty alright and standard. Doesn't try to be overly snowflakey or anything like that so it's good to me.

Skills and tools seem fine, standard issue stuff. Character looks good to me aside from the little issues that I see but once those are dealt with, I'd be A-Ok playing alongside this character and seeing them in the RP!

Tyrannosaurus Rekt
What a handsome lil ginger boi. Will only be reviewing Wallace here because I'm pretty sure I basically gave my personal approval of Charlie in the Discord server.

Powers seem totally fine to me, well balanced and easy to understand. I very much appreciate your creation of lower-tier characters when it comes to powers. Biography is a bit long but that's not exactly much of an issue really and other than that, it seems fairly good and interesting whilst also making sense with his personality and how he is now. The heroism stats seem to fit mostly, hhoowwevverr I'm left a bit confused at the fact that he has a Nine in Courage even though he's explicitly described as a coward in the flaws section? Not sure if that's a misunderstanding on my part or yours.

Outside of that single little issue, Wallace seems pretty well written to me! I shall eagerly await his official initiation into the RP.
ChaosZereul
Alright so first issue off the bat is that Zayne definitely isn't a B rank with Powers and stats like he's got at the moment. He's an Upper-bound S rank with 27 Points, which isn't really the type of character power-wise that should be pursued by a person who's newly joining the RP; characters with rankings like that are generally kept to people who have been active for a while because it's a lot easier to trust them to not go overboard with it and so we know what to expect from them. Not an impossibility, but it's something that personally makes me and a fair few others very worried and a bit uncomfortable.

In my opinion, power-wise I think you're trying to do too much at once and there isn't really a good way to balance out. Taking on a fire form sounds like an impressive power on it's own already, but for him it just seems like a standard thing that could happen which is a big concern. The Long-term effects of his powers are concerning because he has the potential to stack on a bunch of buffs that are effectively permanent which can't really be tracked or countered in a meaningful way without him just adapting to that as well. Things like Night Vision as well would require a point in Intelligence that would represent his Super capabilities in that area, something which he does not have at the moment.

The short-term of his powers wouldn't be as concerning if he didn't do so much at once, but he does. Half of the things you've stated in his Superpower section could be standalone powers on their own and as a result of that, he just seems to have a buffet of capabilities that make him incredibly useful in nearly every situation without much effort, which isn't exactly something that should be capable of being done. Struggle is a good thing when it comes to developing characters and making an interesting story: truth be told, I can't see this character struggling with anything at all with powers like his. What's the point of being innovative in story at all when you have so many powers at your disposal? It doesn't seem like a fun thing to play against for anyone and I find it hard to see how it could be fun to play.

The memory-form power of his as well just takes this all to eleven as well. Not only can he adapt to just about anything if given enough time, sometimes he can just totally mitigate that issue and just think of something to deal with a situation. The potential scaling aspect of it as well should be a thing taken out entirely, powers shouldn't be a thing that become stronger over-time. The amount of forms should be fixed or at the very least, fluctuate between a minimum and a maximum. Talking about scaling, one of his weaknesses is practically mitigated entirely so long as he keeps training, again something that shouldn't be a thing.

The next weakness he has as well seems like something that has a very rare chance of occurring at all that it might as well not be a weakness. 48 Hours is a hell of a long time, long enough that the weakness just has no impact on his current capabilities at all. The example named as well in this weakness doesn't even sound like a disadvantage at all, it sounds like a total benefit without much cost. Once again, mitigating the impact this weakness has on his powers at all. The other weakness he has suffers from this as well. In my opinion, having little offensive capabilities seems like something that isn't really a weakness at all. It doesn't sound like a weakness at all, just a little caveat that we should keep note of. It doesn't really help balance out his powers at all. The only impactful weakness he has in the last one and having one valid weakness for a power such as his is concerning. The only counter I can see other players employing against him is beating him instantly and if they don't do that, they're stuck fighting a person who can counter most of the things that they can do. It's not fun.

If I had to make some suggestions on how the power could be changed, I'd say tone it down entirely; cut away the incredible amounts of versatility that he has, give him one solid power that is actually one solid power and not something that in reality lets him do a thousand things at once. Maybe he's surrounded by a mediocre forcefield that slightly enhances his strength but as the forcefield is damaged, it strengthens, increasing his defensive capabilities and strength or just give him some plain Superstrength and durability. At the moment he seems overly complex, overly versatile and incapable of being countered in a meaningful way.

If the character was put into the roleplay now, in his current state? I would not be comfortable or happy at all and would probably resort to outright avoidance so I wouldn't have to go through playing against something so strong and unfun.

Yeah, I think I mentioned this before but we did the stats prior to any of the writing, so some things such as that could be a little off, unless Mech wants to keep it and arguments why. I don't know, I'm just the one writing it down! :3

As for being more concise and less sciency, if it is a big need and something that comes up more times, we would need some help with that since both of us are the sciency and very detailed explanation types... I definitely wouldn't know how to go about it, I don't know about him.

I had the same vibe as you with the personality traits, just didn't want to be the one to pitch about it since I've had already pitched a LOT during the brainstorm and then the writing processes ^^'

Let's wait and see what Mech says! >w<

I mean I am after all a marine biologist ^^ so I sometimes forget not everyone has the same knowledge as I do in the field of science. I suppose we could try to swap over to lame mans terms but it could be rather difficult

 

[Necessity4Fun]

The idea is that he HAS a lot of courage in situations that he knows he can win, which are mostly social situations and situations that play to his skillset/powerset. Put him in front of a giant fire monster, and he's leaving. But I see what you're saying, I rammed that courage into his heroic stats, when all his courage falls in non-heroic situations. I'll reduce the actual stat. Now if there was a swagger stat...

The way I see it, 5 is a neutral number, the middle ground from the 9. Thus, in my own interpretation, leaving an heroic stats at 5 gives it the potential to swing either side depending on the situation presented!

At least it's what I've been doing for a while ^^

 

[ChaosZereul]

Alright so first issue off the bat is that Zayne definitely isn't a B rank with Powers and stats like he's got at the moment. He's an Upper-bound S rank with 27 Points, which isn't really the type of character power-wise that should be pursued by a person who's newly joining the RP; characters with rankings like that are generally kept to people who have been active for a while because it's a lot easier to trust them to not go overboard with it and so we know what to expect from them. Not an impossibility, but it's something that personally makes me and a fair few others very worried and a bit uncomfortable.

In my opinion, power-wise I think you're trying to do too much at once and there isn't really a good way to balance out. Taking on a fire form sounds like an impressive power on it's own already, but for him it just seems like a standard thing that could happen which is a big concern. The Long-term effects of his powers are concerning because he has the potential to stack on a bunch of buffs that are effectively permanent which can't really be tracked or countered in a meaningful way without him just adapting to that as well. Things like Night Vision as well would require a point in Intelligence that would represent his Super capabilities in that area, something which he does not have at the moment.

The short-term of his powers wouldn't be as concerning if he didn't do so much at once, but he does. Half of the things you've stated in his Superpower section could be standalone powers on their own and as a result of that, he just seems to have a buffet of capabilities that make him incredibly useful in nearly every situation without much effort, which isn't exactly something that should be capable of being done. Struggle is a good thing when it comes to developing characters and making an interesting story: truth be told, I can't see this character struggling with anything at all with powers like his. What's the point of being innovative in story at all when you have so many powers at your disposal? It doesn't seem like a fun thing to play against for anyone and I find it hard to see how it could be fun to play.

The memory-form power of his as well just takes this all to eleven as well. Not only can he adapt to just about anything if given enough time, sometimes he can just totally mitigate that issue and just think of something to deal with a situation. The potential scaling aspect of it as well should be a thing taken out entirely, powers shouldn't be a thing that become stronger over-time. The amount of forms should be fixed or at the very least, fluctuate between a minimum and a maximum. Talking about scaling, one of his weaknesses is practically mitigated entirely so long as he keeps training, again something that shouldn't be a thing.

The next weakness he has as well seems like something that has a very rare chance of occurring at all that it might as well not be a weakness. 48 Hours is a hell of a long time, long enough that the weakness just has no impact on his current capabilities at all. The example named as well in this weakness doesn't even sound like a disadvantage at all, it sounds like a total benefit without much cost. Once again, mitigating the impact this weakness has on his powers at all. The other weakness he has suffers from this as well. In my opinion, having little offensive capabilities seems like something that isn't really a weakness at all. It doesn't sound like a weakness at all, just a little caveat that we should keep note of. It doesn't really help balance out his powers at all. The only impactful weakness he has in the last one and having one valid weakness for a power such as his is concerning. The only counter I can see other players employing against him is beating him instantly and if they don't do that, they're stuck fighting a person who can counter most of the things that they can do. It's not fun.

If I had to make some suggestions on how the power could be changed, I'd say tone it down entirely; cut away the incredible amounts of versatility that he has, give him one solid power that is actually one solid power and not something that in reality lets him do a thousand things at once. Maybe he's surrounded by a mediocre forcefield that slightly enhances his strength but as the forcefield is damaged, it strengthens, increasing his defensive capabilities and strength or just give him some plain Superstrength and durability. At the moment he seems overly complex, overly versatile and incapable of being countered in a meaningful way.

If the character was put into the roleplay now, in his current state? I would not be comfortable or happy at all and would probably resort to outright avoidance so I wouldn't have to go through playing against something so strong and unfun.

Sorry for the late reply. Work has me coming in late on Mondays and I was assaulted by food as soon as I got home. I have to admit, though, I had a feeling I'd misunderstand something, and I guess it was the stats totaling; I thought the base was what determined your rank, though I guess that still doesn't excuse basically trying to make an S-Rank character.

In my defense, though, I seem to have explained things poorly, and in some cases not at all. The boosted stats weren't what I intended him to be able to reach all at once, if anything I was planning on limiting it to a 3-4 point max boost, with +3 being the most he could allocate to any one stat. The Long Term skill I felt I also made misleading, as I never intended it to be a buff stacker. Instead, it was merely supposed to make him adapt to any new environment quickly, gaining whatever might be needed for that to occur. I considered his upbringing, living in a poor family, probably regularly used to having the power cut out, and/or opting to go without electricity to help save money, and thus his eyesight would get better to compensate; as soon as he moved to Aegis, his eyesight would most likely normalize, as it wouldn't be necessary anymore. Same thing with, say, if he was tossed into the wilderness and told to survive. He'd have trouble at first, but over time he'd gain the ability to, let's say, better hide in brush to sneak up on prey, increase his reflexes to spear fish from a river, be able to either intuit what harvestables are edible or simply gain a tolerance to them; I'm not saying he'd get all of that, especially if it isn't relative to what kind of wilderness we're talking here, but I think you see my point. Take him out of the wilderness and back into society, and many of those skills would once again revert back to normal, though the memory of them would remain.

Regardless, I see that it was a tad too ambitious for my first character, and will return to the drawing board. I kinda like the forcefield idea...is there anyone in Aegis with that power currently? I haven't exactly had the chance to peruse everyone's character sheets yet, but I'd like to tweak your idea some and would hate to copy someone else inadvertently.

 

[Necessity4Fun]

Regardless, I see that it was a tad too ambitious for my first character, and will return to the drawing board. I kinda like the forcefield idea...is there anyone in Aegis with that power currently? I haven't exactly had the chance to peruse everyone's character sheets yet, but I'd like to tweak your idea some and would hate to copy someone else inadvertently.

Not currently. We had someone with a passive shield ability at some point (I think she was called Joh Eun? Something like that), but she only stuck with us veeeery briefly during episode 1, and when I say that, I mean 1 or 2 posts, max.

Then we had another character, a staff member, with a healing barrier sort of power, who also just disappeared during ep 5, I think they made like, 4 to 6 posts. Haven't heard from the player in months. And that was it!

You're absolutely free to go!! ^^b

 

[ChaosZereul]

RICHARDS, Z.

• Stats
• General
• Appearance
• Biography
• Superpowers
• Skills and Flaws
• Tools & Weapons
• Gallery

• Heroism Meter
  Aspect	Scale	Total
  Courage	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱	08
  Altriusm	▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱	06
  Order	▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱	04
  Kindness	▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱	06
  Proaction	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱	07
  Diplomacy	▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	01
  Composure	▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱	04

  Ability Statistics
  Aspect	Scale	Total
  Health	▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱	03
  Strength	▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱	03-04
  Defense	▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱	03-05
  Agility	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Intelligence	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Willpower	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Energy	▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱	04

  
  
• Full Name
  Zayne Amadeus Richards
  
  Nicknames
  Zee
  
  Codename
  "N/A"
  
  Gender
  Male
  
  Age
  18
  
  Rank
  B Rank
  
  Limiter
  Active, Level 2
  
  Role
  Student
• Race
  White Mongrel (blend of several European nations)
  
  Hair
  Red
  
  Eyes
  Brown
  
  Height
  6'1"
  
  Figure
  Well-toned Medium Build, 195 lbs.
  
  Notes
  Typically wears whatever’s comfortable, and as a result has a fairly poor sense of fashion.
  
  Has a black dragon tattoo on his right shoulder, a memento of receiving his black belt in Karate.
  
• 
  Brash/Tactless (-)
  Zayne is not one to mince words, and will often prefer to speak his mind than keep matters to himself. He also has a bad habit of throwing himself into other people’s problems, even if he has little to nothing to gain from doing so. Lastly, he has almost no skill in diplomacy, and will often result to violence as a means to resolve an argument.
  
  Loyal (+)
  Despite his brash nature, Zayne fairly often seeks companionship and comradery, which often leads him to see it in places where it may not exist. People acting friendly to him for long enough periods will look like true friends to him, and likewise he’s a very strong proponent of taking pride in one’s community, workplace, school, etc. However, he’s not blind, and will quickly break off any relationship that doesn’t reward him for his loyalty.
  
  Hard Worker (=)
  Zayne is never afraid to get his hands dirty, and is always willing to carry his own weight and then some, regardless of the task at hand. Unlike many his age, he knows the value of a hard day's work, and isn't afraid to volunteer for tasks most would shy away from.
  
  Introverted (=)
  Despite various attempts to prove the world otherwise, Zayne is a textbook Introvert, and dealing with other people, especially large numbers of them for extended periods of time, tends to drain him, causing him to become much more easily frustrated/agitated until he's given time to regain himself.
  
  
  History
  Zayne was born and raised in a small apartment complex in a suburban area of Pittsburg with an older sister, a younger half-brother, and his mother and step-father. None of them had powers, though he had heard that his biological father was a fairly mediocre super who never really used his powers and left them shortly before he was born. His mother met his step-father when he was around 3, and they got married when he was about 5, giving birth to his half-brother barely a year after that; he considers both of them true family, and hates when people try to classify them as anything less.
  
  His childhood was spent like most children’s, playing out either in the nearby park or with the few other children who lived in the area. While his family wasn’t poor, they also weren’t very well-off, so Zayne lived a fairly simple lifestyle. His street predominantly housed elder families, and so he came to know many of the adults as well or better than kids his age, and would often go out of his way to help them through whatever odd job they’d give him, like tending to their yards or petsitting.
  
  In school, while he would normally be a polite enough child, he’d have a bad tendency to get into fights with other kids, an unfortunate side-effect of having so few friends his age around his neighborhood. His school would eventually suggest martial arts as a way to let out his excess aggression, which his mother begrudgingly accepted, knowing the cost would be a bit much to add to their already-strained budget. This would ultimately prove helpful, however, as both the outlet and community greatly helped him. At 13, right before he started High School, he took a physical and was told he was a carrier of the A6G23 gene, but unlikely to ever manifest; he simply accepted this as fact and believed he’d just be another normal guy. While High School was certainly tough for him – his grades would seldom rise above a low C Average - his odd jobs around the neighborhood turned to a part-time job at 16 with one of his neighbors, a construction worker who could use a strapping young man to help with the heavy labor. Zayne took to this surprisingly well, working as hard, if not harder, than most of the adults. He’d also use some of his earnings to take over payment for his Karate lessons, which he was getting fairly proficient in.
  
  Life proceeded fairly well, until shortly after Zayne’s 18th birthday, and shortly after he received his first rank black belt. As he was returning from his part-time job, a fire broke out at his apartment complex. Fearing for not only his family, but of the other families that lived there, Zayne rushed in without a moment’s thought. His parents and older sister were still away at work, but his younger brother was home and scared. As soon as Zayne entered the apartment and found his brother, the ceiling started to give way, causing Zayne to rush to protect him. It was here that his powers manifested, turning into a barrier that surrounded himself and his brother, protecting them from the falling debris. Astonished, they exited the apartment to open ground, and Zayne, once he was sure his brother was safe, immediately rushed back in to try to save as many people as he could. As soon as he entered the second apartment, however, his barrier shattered, leaving him confused, but strangely invigorated. He pushed through the heat and debris until he found the apartment's residents - a couple and their baby - and as soon as he wished for it, his barrier returned to him. Elated, he guided the couple outside to safety, but almost as soon as they left his barrier shattered again. By this point, Zayne was too hyped up on adrenaline to care, wanting to save at least one more family if he could. He once again rushed in, but paused a moment to see if he could will his powers awake again. Sure enough, he managed a third barrier and immediately rushed in to find the residents, finding them somewhat easily. As he began to guide them out, a falling piece of debris caused his barrier to once again be shattered, but this time, Zayne energy seemed to vanish, causing him to pass out. Thankfully, by this point the firefighters had arrived, pulling Zayne and the apartment's residents to safety. Zayne woke up a couple hours later at the hospital, his family watching over him, his brother having told everyone of his exploits.
  
  It would only take a couple days for the Commonwealth to find him, where he was promptly diagnosed, given a thorough explanation of supers, ranked, and assigned to AEGIS. Zayne, however, was hesitant to leave; he wanted to continue living his life as a normal person, working hard to make his family and his community proud, and didn’t know the first thing about being a superhero. His family was quick to reassure him, however, proud of him for his valor and hopeful that he’ll be a fine superhero. With his family’s blessing, Zayne reluctantly agrees to enter AEGIS, hoping to understand his powers and figure out what he can do with them.
  
• Barrier
  Zayne can emit a biofield around his body that protects him from harm. The field seems to follow Zayne's own reasoning on what counts as "harmful" as it can "protect" him from things such as smoke and dust, but will easily let water through and allow him to both touch and be touched. The field can also be expanded to roughly the size of an average room - around 12'x12' - but the field loses some of its efficacy by doing so. Once it leaves Zayne's body, it also takes on a vague color that will shift corresponding to its health - White when it's at its absolute highest, followed by blue (its most common undamaged color), then green, yellow, orange, and finally red.
  
  
  • Additional Barriers: Zayne can create up to two additional barriers before needing to rest, but Zayne must wait at least 10 minutes between each barrier in order to craft them without penalty. If this is ignored, the penalty comes when the additional barrier is broken. After the second barrier is broken, Zayne will feel a significant drop in his stamina, as though he had just ran a marathon on top of whatever he's been doing. After the third, Zayne will suffer mental exhaustion that will almost assuredly cause him to pass out. These penalties can be mitigated somewhat by waiting at least some time between each barrier, but only waiting the full 10 minutes can completely negate the penalty. Finally, regardless of when they're formed, the subsequent barriers will always be weaker than the previous, with the second having ~70-75% of the original's health, and the third having ~50%.
  • Armor Break: When the field is broken, the resulting shattered energy rushes into Zayne, giving him increased strength for a brief period that grows shorter with each subsequent barrier. After the first barrier, he gains increased strength for roughly 5 minutes, after the second, 2 1/2 minutes, and after the third, only 1 minute. Furthermore, activating a new barrier while his strength boost is active will negate this boost.
  
  Limitations
  
  
  • My Body is a Temple: The health of Zayne's barriers is tied directly to both Zayne's physical and mental health. While a boost in adrenaline or other such temporary augmentation can improve his barrier's health for a brief time, consistent use of these things will naturally cause harm to Zayne's body, harming his barrier as a result. Furthermore, although Zayne would never really see it as an option, simply because he sees it as too expensive, Cybernetic augmentations would actually harm his barrier's health, as its source lies within his biology.
  • Insufficient Energy Consumption: By default, Zayne's barrier tries to repel or nullify dangerous materials - going back to the example of smoke and dust, his barrier actively removes them from the air instead of, say, pushing them to the side or collecting them like a filter. While this is the most effective way to avoid "harm," it is also the least efficient way for the barrier to do so, as it expends several times the amount of energy to nullify a danger as it would to deflect or even mitigate. In order for the latter to occur, however, would require Zayne to consciously control his barrier and allow said dangers to enter, which can be very difficult, bordering on impossible, to do in the heat of the moment.
  • This Ain't No Video Game: Zayne's barrier does not adhere to the age-old gaming mechanic of shields with a sliver of health remaining taking a big, certainly lethal hit and shattering with no harm done to the bearer. If Zayne's barrier can't withstand an attack, it will shatter, and the resulting force will continue onward, though obviously with a proportionately lessened amount of force behind it.
• 
  Black Belt (+): Zayne has a Black Belt in traditional Karate, and eagerly wants to learn more styles of martial arts. When not training his powers or taking classes, Zayne will often rehearse old kata and practice new ones he picks up from the Internet.
  
  Combative (-): Zayne isn’t afraid of getting into a fight, even if it’s against someone older and/or more experienced. In fact, in cases where someone tries to insult/threaten him – or worse, his friends/family – he’s all the faster to resort to violence, as his verbal arsenal is incredibly limited.
  
  Kinesthetic Learner (+): Zayne learns best by doing, and anything he can learn by doing he learns far faster than through traditional schooling. As such, he often excelled in Home Economics and Shop Class, the former being bolstered by taking care of his younger brother at home and the latter being bolstered by his time working in Construction. However, as long as it’s something he can learn by being hands-on, he’s never afraid to try.
  
  Academically Inept (-): While Zayne can learn well by doing, he’s utterly terrible at learning in any other fashion. One-sided lectures tend to put him to sleep, rote memorization rarely provides results, even combining audio-books to physical books doesn’t seem to do much. Furthermore, Zayne was diagnosed at a young age with ADD, which he still combats with, though less so in recent years.
  
  Good-Hearted (+): Zayne is very big on helping others, and will often offer his services even when he wasn’t directly asked for them. Moreover, with those he trusts, those whom he’s come to know well, he’s even more willing to help, often having trouble saying no to even unreasonable requests. He does know his limits, however, and won’t take on more than he can handle.
  
  
• 
  Katana & Bokken: Since he started his part-time job, Zayne had purchased a couple of weapons to hopefully learn how to use at his Karate school. His first purchase was a Bokken – or wooden sword – and he would later buy a fully-functional katana from a weapons convention. He chose to bring the katana along, feeling it might see some use in his superpower training, but for actual practice he’ll defer to the bokken.
  
  Twin Tonfa: a much more recent purchase, Zayne was fascinated by the Tonfa when one of his Karate Masters demonstrated the weapon. Unfortunately, he has zero training with the weapon, but brought it along as well, just in case.
  
• 
  Zayne's Tattoo
  
  

EDIT: Added a point in Composure I had meant to before, as I figured taking Karate for ~5 years should give him some skills in keeping his cool, and both reworded and tweaked the Armor Break skill to better fit with the Additional Barriers skill. Also Added Positive, Negative and Neutral Qualifiers for Biography and Skills/Flaws until I have a better chance to format them.

 

[JustNicole]

Kane, H.

Notable changes:

• Added superpower (from Julie Scott character)
• Increased stats compared to Julie's stats
  • Strength 1->2
  • Defense 1->2
  • Energy 6->7
    • Change made to compensate for shrinking prosthetics which are more complicated non-organic material
• Increased Power Rank From B->A
  • Power Rank increased to compensate for increased scores
• Changed Holly Kane's personality traits to make her less cold/distant
• Added new information to biography
  • Brief paragraph on powers, family recreation, frequency of usage when young
  • Holly has left post as Security Chief, her reprieve as an agent of the Commonwealth is up
  • Hook into her skepticism towards Commonwealth and future motivation: friends and comrades died from a Commonwealth plot

 

[Necessity4Fun]

RICHARDS, Z.

View attachment 400815

• Stats
• General
• Appearance
• Biography
• Superpowers
• Skills and Flaws
• Tools & Weapons
• Gallery

• Heroism Meter
  Aspect	Scale	Total
  Courage	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱	08
  Altriusm	▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱	06
  Order	▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱	04
  Kindness	▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱	06
  Proaction	▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱	07
  Diplomacy	▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	01
  Composure	▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱	03

  Ability Statistics
  Aspect	Scale	Total
  Health	▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱	03
  Strength	▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱	03-04
  Defense	▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱	03-05
  Agility	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Intelligence	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Willpower	▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱	02
  Energy	▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱	04

  
  
• Full Name
  Zayne Amadeus Richards
  
  Nicknames
  Zee
  
  Codename
  "N/A"
  
  Gender
  Male
  
  Age
  18
  
  Rank
  B Rank
  
  Limiter
  Active, Level 2
  
  Role
  Student
• Race
  White Mongrel (blend of several European nations)
  
  Hair
  Red
  
  Eyes
  Brown
  
  Height
  6'1"
  
  Figure
  Well-toned Medium Build, 195 lbs.
  
  Notes
  Typically wears whatever’s comfortable, and as a result has a fairly poor sense of fashion.
  
  Has a black dragon tattoo on his right shoulder, a memento of receiving his black belt in Karate.
  
• 
  Brash/Tactless
  Zayne is not one to mince words, and will often prefer to speak his mind than keep matters to himself. He also has a bad habit of throwing himself into other people’s problems, even if he has little to nothing to gain from doing so. Lastly, he has almost no skill in diplomacy, and will often result to violence as a means to resolve an argument.
  
  Loyal
  Despite his brash nature, Zayne fairly often seeks companionship and comradery, which often leads him to see it in places where it may not exist. People acting friendly to him for long enough periods will look like true friends to him, and likewise he’s a very strong proponent of taking pride in one’s community, workplace, school, etc. However, he’s not blind, and will quickly break off any relationship that doesn’t reward him for his loyalty.
  
  Hard Worker
  Zayne is never afraid to get his hands dirty, and is always willing to carry his own weight and then some, regardless of the task at hand. Unlike many his age, he knows the value of a hard day's work, and isn't afraid to volunteer for tasks most would shy away from.
  
  Introverted
  Despite various attempts to prove the world otherwise, Zayne is a textbook Introvert, and dealing with other people, especially large numbers of them for extended periods of time, tends to drain him, causing him to become much more easily frustrated/agitated until he's given time to regain himself.
  
  
  History
  Zayne was born and raised in a small apartment complex in a suburban area of Pittsburg with an older sister, a younger half-brother, and his mother and step-father. None of them had powers, though he had heard that his biological father was a fairly mediocre super who never really used his powers and left them shortly before he was born. His mother met his step-father when he was around 3, and they got married when he was about 5, giving birth to his half-brother barely a year after that; he considers both of them true family, and hates when people try to classify them as anything less.
  
  His childhood was spent like most children’s, playing out either in the nearby park or with the few other children who lived in the area. While his family wasn’t poor, they also weren’t very well-off, so Zayne lived a fairly simple lifestyle. His street predominantly housed elder families, and so he came to know many of the adults as well or better than kids his age, and would often go out of his way to help them through whatever odd job they’d give him, like tending to their yards or petsitting.
  
  In school, while he would normally be a polite enough child, he’d have a bad tendency to get into fights with other kids, an unfortunate side-effect of having so few friends his age around his neighborhood. His school would eventually suggest martial arts as a way to let out his excess aggression, which his mother begrudgingly accepted, knowing the cost would be a bit much to add to their already-strained budget. This would ultimately prove helpful, however, as both the outlet and community greatly helped him. At 13, right before he started High School, he took a physical and was told he was a carrier of the A6G23 gene, but unlikely to ever manifest; he simply accepted this as fact and believed he’d just be another normal guy. While High School was certainly tough for him – his grades would seldom rise above a low C Average - his odd jobs around the neighborhood turned to a part-time job at 16 with one of his neighbors, a construction worker who could use a strapping young man to help with the heavy labor. Zayne took to this surprisingly well, working as hard, if not harder, than most of the adults. He’d also use some of his earnings to take over payment for his Karate lessons, which he was getting fairly proficient in.
  
  Life proceeded fairly well, until shortly after Zayne’s 18th birthday, and shortly after he received his first rank black belt. As he was returning from his part-time job, a fire broke out at his apartment complex. Fearing for not only his family, but of the other families that lived there, Zayne rushed in without a moment’s thought. His parents and older sister were still away at work, but his younger brother was home and scared. As soon as Zayne entered the apartment and found his brother, the ceiling started to give way, causing Zayne to rush to protect him. It was here that his powers manifested, turning into a barrier that surrounded himself and his brother, protecting them from the falling debris. Astonished, they exited the apartment to open ground, and Zayne, once he was sure his brother was safe, immediately rushed back in to try to save as many people as he could. As soon as he entered the second apartment, however, his barrier shattered, leaving him confused, but strangely invigorated. He pushed through the heat and debris until he found the apartment's residents - a couple and their baby - and as soon as he wished for it, his barrier returned to him. Elated, he guided the couple outside to safety, but almost as soon as they left his barrier shattered again. By this point, Zayne was too hyped up on adrenaline to care, wanting to save at least one more family if he could. He once again rushed in, but paused a moment to see if he could will his powers awake again. Sure enough, he managed a third barrier and immediately rushed in to find the residents, finding them somewhat easily. As he began to guide them out, a falling piece of debris caused his barrier to once again be shattered, but this time, Zayne energy seemed to vanish, causing him to pass out. Thankfully, by this point the firefighters had arrived, pulling Zayne and the apartment's residents to safety. Zayne woke up a couple hours later at the hospital, his family watching over him, his brother having told everyone of his exploits.
  
  It would only take a couple days for the Commonwealth to find him, where he was promptly diagnosed, given a thorough explanation of supers, ranked, and assigned to AEGIS. Zayne, however, was hesitant to leave; he wanted to continue living his life as a normal person, working hard to make his family and his community proud, and didn’t know the first thing about being a superhero. His family was quick to reassure him, however, proud of him for his valor and hopeful that he’ll be a fine superhero. With his family’s blessing, Zayne reluctantly agrees to enter AEGIS, hoping to understand his powers and figure out what he can do with them.
  
• Barrier
  Zayne can emit a biofield around his body that protects him from harm. The field seems to follow Zayne's own reasoning on what counts as "harmful" as it can "protect" him from things such as smoke and dust, but will easily let water through and allow him to both touch and be touched. The field can also be expanded to roughly the size of an average room - around 12'x12' - but the field loses some of its efficacy by doing so. Once it leaves Zayne's body, it also takes on a vague color that will shift corresponding to its health - White when it's at its absolute highest, followed by blue (its most common undamaged color), then green, yellow, orange, and finally red.
  
  
  • Armor Break: When the field is initially broken, the resulting shattered energy rushes into Zayne, giving him increased strength for roughly 5 minutes.
  • Additional Barriers: Zayne can create up to two additional barriers before needing to rest, but Zayne must wait at least 10 minutes between each barrier in order to craft them without penalty. If this is ignored, the penalty comes when the additional barrier is broken. After the second barrier is broken, Zayne will feel a significant drop in his stamina, as though he had just ran a marathon on top of whatever he's been doing. After the third, Zayne will suffer mental exhaustion that will almost assuredly cause him to pass out. These penalties can be mitigated somewhat by waiting at least some time between each barrier, but only waiting the full 10 minutes can completely negate the penalty. Finally, regardless of when they're formed, the subsequent barriers will always be weaker than the previous, with the second having ~70-75% of the original's health, and the third having ~50%.
  
  Limitations
  
  
  • My Body is a Temple: The health of Zayne's barriers is tied directly to both Zayne's physical and mental health. While a boost in adrenaline or other such temporary augmentation can improve his barrier's health for a brief time, consistent use of these things will naturally cause harm to Zayne's body, harming his barrier as a result. Furthermore, although Zayne would never really see it as an option, simply because he sees it as too expensive, Cybernetic augmentations would actually harm his barrier's health, as its source lies within his biology.
  • Insufficient Energy Consumption: By default, Zayne's barrier tries to repel or nullify dangerous materials - going back to the example of smoke and dust, his barrier actively removes them from the air instead of, say, pushing them to the side or collecting them like a filter. While this is the most effective way to avoid "harm," it is also the least efficient way for the barrier to do so, as it expends several times the amount of energy to nullify a danger as it would to deflect or even mitigate. In order for the latter to occur, however, would require Zayne to consciously control his barrier and allow said dangers to enter, which can be very difficult, bordering on impossible, to do in the heat of the moment.
  • This Ain't No Video Game: Zayne's barrier does not adhere to the age-old gaming mechanic of shields with a sliver of health remaining taking a big, certainly lethal hit and shattering with no harm done to the bearer. If Zayne's barrier can't withstand an attack, it will shatter, and the resulting force will continue onward, though obviously with a proportionately lessened amount of force behind it.
• 
  Black Belt: Zayne has a Black Belt in traditional Karate, and eagerly wants to learn more styles of martial arts. When not training his powers or taking classes, Zayne will often rehearse old kata and practice new ones he picks up from the Internet.
  
  Combative: Zayne isn’t afraid of getting into a fight, even if it’s against someone older and/or more experienced. In fact, in cases where someone tries to insult/threaten him – or worse, his friends/family – he’s all the faster to resort to violence, as his verbal arsenal is incredibly limited.
  
  Kinesthetic Learner: Zayne learns best by doing, and anything he can learn by doing he learns far faster than through traditional schooling. As such, he often excelled in Home Economics and Shop Class, the former being bolstered by taking care of his younger brother at home and the latter being bolstered by his time working in Construction. However, as long as it’s something he can learn by being hands-on, he’s never afraid to try.
  
  Academically Inept: While Zayne can learn well by doing, he’s utterly terrible at learning in any other fashion. One-sided lectures tend to put him to sleep, rote memorization rarely provides results, even combining audio-books to physical books doesn’t seem to do much. Furthermore, Zayne was diagnosed at a young age with ADD, which he still combats with, though less so in recent years.
  
  Good-Hearted: Zayne is very big on helping others, and will often offer his services even when he wasn’t directly asked for them. Moreover, with those he trusts, those whom he’s come to know well, he’s even more willing to help, often having trouble saying no to even unreasonable requests. He does know his limits, however, and won’t take on more than he can handle.
  
  
• 
  Katana & Bokken: Since he started his part-time job, Zayne had purchased a couple of weapons to hopefully learn how to use at his Karate school. His first purchase was a Bokken – or wooden sword – and he would later buy a fully-functional katana from a weapons convention. He chose to bring the katana along, feeling it might see some use in his superpower training, but for actual practice he’ll defer to the bokken.
  
  Twin Tonfa: a much more recent purchase, Zayne was fascinated by the Tonfa when one of his Karate Masters demonstrated the weapon. Unfortunately, he has zero training with the weapon, but brought it along as well, just in case.
  
• 
  Zayne's Tattoo
  
  

I'm not sure Good-Hearted counts for a flaw when you have specifically said he knows his limits. I made the inability to say 'no' a flaw for Aiden, but he doesn't have limits with it, to the point that tasks and more tasks pile up and he can't deal with the pressure of them anymore. The way you have worded it here, however, especially the name, doesn't suggest that it is a flaw though, but another skill even.

Other than that, this is such a progress from last time, well done >w<

 

[ChaosZereul]

I'm not sure Good-Hearted counts for a flaw when you have specifically said he knows his limits. I made the inability to say 'no' a flaw for Aiden, but he doesn't have limits with it, to the point that tasks and more tasks pile up and he can't deal with the pressure of them anymore. The way you have worded it here, however, especially the name, doesn't suggest that it is a flaw though, but another skill even.

Other than that, this is such a progress from last time, well done >w<

Hrm, I suppose I could tweak it, or add a third flaw somewhere to balance it out. Sadly, it's getting late for me, as I've got work in the morning. I'll think on that during work tomorrow and see what I can come up with, but I'm more than open to suggestions if you'd like to PM me any