Catgirls Kaiju Coffee

[TrashRabbit]

In the time it took Norah to Buffer Bill had already started sauntering towards the door.

"He didn't like you anyway," The slithering voice in her mind posited.

--

Nancy takes the biscotti with perplexed over tiered confusion, "Oh u h, thanks," she says and takes nibble of it, "Would have never thought to try something fancy like this. Thanks." She takes a sip of her coffee and discoveres it lacks bery flavoring but keeps it to herself, instead she says, "You guys ditch the M-Feds last night okay?"

And that was when a tall suited man walked into the Cafe as if on que and stoof behind Nancy while Vidar motioned frantically at Harper through the window.

 

[Graystone713]

“Yep, this is where I work.”

Kevin paused as his face became the facial equivalent of the PS2 Startup and tried to process Theo’s own confusion.

“Did you mix me up with number 88 again?... Am I not Supposed to work at this branch?”

he asked, perhaps misreading Theo’s surprise... However, he soon bounced back with

“Wait, no, that’s silly. But yeah, things are mostly okay except for Vidar’s EX-BF trying to hassle us... Wait. Is that him?... Company policy means I can’t windy yeet him unless he starts it, right?”

 

[TrashRabbit]

"No I would never mix you up with 88- he's a jerk," Theo says, "No no I just thought- I guess I didn't look closely-" They watch as Feliks enters and then draws all of KevKev's attention, "Oh good, your already of aware of them- I suggest you windy yeet him fucking immediately.... but like...discreetly..."

 

[abirdyofmanynames]

"You are super welcome!" Harper says placing her elbow on the table and chin on her hand, "And we always do! That's what makes us, purrfesionals."

Being the dork that she was, of course she had to follow that up that line with an over the top wink. Which was just so. Bad. Like. So so bad. Almost painfully so.

But the moment- if it could even be justified to be called that- did not last for very long. Like a loose string on a blouse, her attention got gently pulled and then sharply yanked away by the presences of said mystery suit. Personally, Harper was not very in the loop on who he was. But Norah did not seem to like him. Which was good enough for Harper to know this was not ideal.

Aw frick. Then, she saw Vidar doing what could only be described as a violent interpretive dance... perhaps about the futility of youth? Her face furrowed. Come on, Boss Man. Harper was not the one to pick up on signals. He should know better than that. Even SHE knew better than that. But maybe there was another way. A way which often left Harper with a headache and a big case of the sleepies. She often tried to save it for emergencies, but this seemed like a good exception. She squinted, using her mental switchboard to connect to Vidar.

 

[Graystone713]

Kevin nodded at Theo’s suggestion. However, the primal forces of nature were rarely subtle or precise. So Kevin was actually fairly surprised when all the wind he gathered hit the g-man, threw him (and only him) out on his keister, and was only a heckin lot louder than the big AC pipes starting up instead of actually being deafening.

“There he goes... Say, you know why he and Vidar... You know...”

he timidly asked, knowing that Theo knew Vidar better than he did.

 

[abirdyofmanynames]

She had meant to ask, "Cat got your tongue?"

However the sudden boom and flying suit man caused her to jump.

Her mental wires got all tangled up and she ended up yelling, "Cat gotcha- AAAAAAH!"

Straight into the suit's head.

Her hair stood on ends, causing her already floof of a tail to comically POOF up. He had done her a frighten.

 

[TrashRabbit]

Feliks was fiercely debating with himself wether he would order an espresso dupio or a cappuccino when he walked into the shop. This was his cheif most concern. and he had not so much thought to himself :

мне действительно нужно столько кофеина?

AS he heard a voice explode in his mind trailing out to a surprised scream as he was forcefully ejected from the Coffee Pawt. he rolled out on to the street, a car honked and swerved- the Magical Fed laded on his feet sliding backwards across the intersection. He stood up straight after a moment, brushed himself off and walked firmly down the block away from the shop.

"When I said subtly I mean not like that at all," Theo said under their breath.

Vidar continued to stare into the shop at Harper and Kevin with the neutral face of displeasure- sure yes that solved his problem but like, really? REALLY?

"Since he didn't come back I assume he doesn't have a warrant yet, that's good," Theo said again almost to themselves.

 

[wickedlittlecritta]

Cathal had not realized he'd fallen into a sort of dreamy reverie, pushed back from the counter by Norah and Harper with a stupid grin on his face and a scarlet flush on his cheeks, until Kevin's blast of wind jolted him out of it. He watched the MIB: Moscow Edition get blown out across the street, and Vidar not so much frown at them as he failed to emote at them, but like. Intensely.

Etta James was still singing, and he realized that was the radio, rather than just in his head.

He wished he had remained in whatever daydream Kevin's wind had destroyed.

 

[theunearthlyfool]

There’s barely time for Norah to roll her eyes at the mocking voice before the cafe explodes into chaos. She can only watch as Agent Alkaev, formerly in line behind Nancy, is rather immediately yeeted out the door onto his ass by one of Kevin’s winds.

“Holy shit!” Norah gasps, hurriedly taking count of her coworkers (and one remaining patron): Harper is poofed, Cathal is blinking out of post-smooch daze, Kevin seems fine, Theo is hard to read as always, and Nancy looks equal parts tired and confused. And then Vidar… oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.

She assumes from the above the secret agent man said something to alarm Harper so Kevin promptly asked him to vacate the premises, which was Not Good and now Vidar is annoyed. So much for that nice normal morning I thought we were having. Now it’s the creature’s turn to roll its figurative eyes at her as she races around the counter and over to the window.

Ignoring Kevin and Theo’s conversation behind her and looking beyond a glowering Vidar, she sees the agent stick an impressive landing before standing up, collecting himself, and walking away.

Oh fuck me we’re in so much trouble.

But there’s not a whole lot she can do about that now. The Coffee Pawt and everything in it is, somewhat surprisingly, all in one piece. Norah sighs and turns back to face everyone.

“Morning, Theo!” she says warmly but with a definite note of exhaustion in her voice. “What brings you ‘round our neck of the woods?”

 

[TrashRabbit]

"Hi Norah! Oh, you know~" Theo says, "Heard the magical feds were nosing around branch 3- looks like you have it under control though"

 

[CelticSol]

Wilhelmina "Will" Westerna
​

So. Here's the thing.

When her alarm went off before the ass crack of dawn, Will simply looked at her ceiling and craved death for the better part of forty five minutes - because who wouldn't? It was early enough that the sky was still pigmented violent by the nighttime, and that was too early to be awake. Entirely too early. So she waits until the last possible moment to wake up, the last possible moment to get breakfast, and sleeps on the bus, missing her stop for work twice over.

By the way she walks in at 5:50AM with a canteen of coffee tucked under an arm, scrolling through her phone, one might think Will was arriving early for her shift. She doesn't look up from her phone as she stretches a long leg over a clear spot on the counter and hops into a gangly vault over to the barista's side. She tucks her phone into her back pocket to tie an apron around herself, then starts making herself an espresso that she then dumps into her canteen. Then she looks around.

But the reality was the she was twenty minutes late, and hadn't seen any of these people in her life, and - which, now that that occurs to her, this might not even be the right cafe, actually. The cafe is in chaos, no one is managing the chaos, and she doesn't recognize a single person in the entire cafe except Theo.

"Hey, T," Will says, ignoring the fact that she probably definitely doesn't work here, and leans on the counter to projecther voice at the right volume to get the cat-them's attention, "Can I get you a coffee?"

 

[abirdyofmanynames]

Harper's mental wires were still discombobulated. It was a lot like a sensory overload. But rather than lights or scents, it was triggered by a caffeine-starved Russian shark man giving her a spook. Had she seen Vidar's displeasure, she might have been concerned. But now her brain was broken. Error. Error. Does not compute. She blinked and wobbled her way down from the counter onto the floor, nearly knocking over a bottle of caramel sauce. Her brain felt like a pair of headphones which had been through the dryer. "Hey guys..."

She curled up into a ball, "...I'm just gonna chill here for a sec..."

And put her head down, "On the floor...."

 

[TrashRabbit]

Theo narrows there eyes at Will, not sure if they are actually an employee or not- but then Theo had been discombobulated on whether or not Kevkev was supposed to be at this branch so they just weren't sure anymore- and they seemed to know them.

Squint.

"Uh...Sure.... I'll take a Tiger's Blood with stripes and like....The biggest muffin you got- um hey. Remind me....how long have you been working with this branch again?" Theo asked trying to be smooth about it.

It was then Vidar stepped in through the front door with his vape still between his teeth and gestured powerlessly at Kevin with both hands and let them slap his thighs as he let them fall, "What am I gonna do with you."

 

[CelticSol]

Wilhelmina "Will" Westerna
​

This morning is off to a trainwreck start. Will blinks once, twice, at Theo, realizing she's not sure what the fuck stripes is supposed to mean in the context of coffee, nor does she know what a Tiger's Blood is supposed to be. And spending time trying to puzzle that out means that Will doesn't hear which baked good that Theo of which they would like the biggest. So, instead of questioning that, and instead of answering the question of how long Will has worked there, Will makes a regular latte, draws a smiley face poorly in the foam, grabs a bagel, and slides them across the counter at Theo with her lips puckered and her eyebrows raised, as if she were trying to convince Theo that she was correct and belonged there.

 

[theunearthlyfool]

She takes a breath to reply, one ear twitching as she realizes she has no idea how to respond to the comment about magic feds (other than “fuck dude, they sure are!”). In that moment, however, the cafe door swings open and in breezes a catperson Norah’s pretty sure she’s never seen before.

There’s a kind of stunned silence as everybody watches her casually cross the room, jump over the counter, and start puttering around the barista stations like she’s worked there for years. Nobody seems to know what to do as she leans on the counter and asks Theo if they want a drink, including Theo. The HR rep hesitantly replies, wondering how long she’s worked with this branch (their tone of voice implying they genuinely don’t know). Norah sighs good-naturedly.

“Gee, I’m trying to remember...” she pointedly looks at the clock. “About five minutes?” A pleasant grin spreads across her face even as she notices Harper go pale out of the corner of her eye. “Welcome to the party, new kid!”

Her roommate looks on with interest as Harper’s eyes lose focus and she slumps to the floor in an almost controlled faint. “Harper, sweetheart! What’s the matter?” Norah’s getting her steps in today as she dashes back around the counter and goes to her friend’s side.

The new kid moves around the kitchen putting together Theo’s request and Norah’s ears perk up when she hears Vidar admonish Kevin. She’s too busy fussing over Harper to properly tune in, though: brushing all that hair out of Harper’s eyes, she gently puts the back of her hand to the other catgirl’s forehead, feeling her temperature. “Oh, love. Do you need to take a nap? Would you be more comfy back on the couch instead of in the middle of the road here?” It’s much easier to pick Harper up when she’s doing a flying leap at Norah instead of dead weight on the floor, but she’ll manage if she has to.

 

[TrashRabbit]

Theo looks at Will then looks at the Drink then looks at Will. They take the latte and then bagel and look down at the lopsided smiley in the foam and back at Will and back at the smiley.

"Thank you," Theo says and puts a tip in the jar. Because Theo has manners. They turn slowly to Vidar who is still looking at Kevin and looking ready to pop.

"Vidar."

"Yeah," Vidar says still looking at Kevin in exasperation.

"Do they work here?"

"Oh? Will? yeah. Sometimes. Don't worry about it."

"That's not how-"

"Sure it is," He says and takes a drag of strawberry vape inside.

"Bls," Theo says sounding tiny and desperate for sense.

"It's fine," Vidar says, Its good having some one that doesn't sleep in the back room around-"

"Why are you sleeping in the back room?!"

Vidar cocks his head and puts his hands on his hips, Kevin forgotten. The Adults. Were speaking now. "Because management has not deigned to allow us good cat folk the pleasant reprieve of proper quarters-" they said putting on their best posh English accent in attempts to mock the very welsh sounding HR agent.

"You have a whole upstairs?! Why aren't you using the upstairs apartments?! Whats gone wrong here- They just over hauled your whole kitchen!!! Why didn't you-"

"We have a what???" Vidar said looking more surprised than he had ever emoted before.

"AN UPSTAIRS!" Theo bursts out, "Why didn't you ask for one if you didn't think you didn't have one?"

"I-I dunno you said not to ask for too much!!!"

"Do you have the keys. Did you loose the keys?!"

"No! I wouldn't loose the shop keys," Vidar said pulling them out of his pocket.

"So. You Just. You never wondered what the extra key was for?" Theo asks incredulously

the two argue like there is no one else in the room while Theo holds onto to their wrong order.

"What extra key-" Vidar grumbles going through them all till he finds the extra key and stares at it like his life has lost meaning.

"I'll have to contact branch two-"

"Oh don't drag them into this!"

"Branch two is in charge of timeline management and anomalies. This is an *ANOMALLY*"

"Okay Smarty pants- wheres the fucking door???" He said gesturing around the cafe, "Any one ever seen a door or staircase here??" He says to the cat staff at large.

 

[Graystone713]

Kevin wanted to remind Theo how bad he was at stealth, but the catgirl he vaguely recognized as Will and the overbearing expression Vidar equipped caught him off guard long enough that he mentally checked out for a minute. When he checked back in, the catdads were fighting.

“Uhh... Guys?”

his voice was instantly lost in the turmoil.

“c’mon... Guys...”

Still too quiet. Then the two finished and Kevin paused at their last question...

“Um... I know my clone tube was put in sort of a funky spot... Always looked like it was blocking something but I assumed it was intentional?”

 

[TrashRabbit]

Theo and Vidar both turned slowly to look at him. Vidar's face fell and Theo looked very smug.

"Would you be a love, and show me?" Theo asked him.

 

[Graystone713]

Kevin nodded to Theo, hoped he wasn’t losing too many points with Vidar today, and walked into the back room where his tube was... Leaking?

“Awwww not again! Lousy obsolete tube...”

he said, carefully flipping it on its side so he could look at the bottom of the device and find the leak... and also reveal the door they were looking for but Kevin had bigger concerns, like leaking clone juice. That stuff wasn’t free, you know?

 

[TrashRabbit]

"Augh your gonna want to get some good caulking at the home depot," Theo says sympathetically and then turns and does their best Vanna White at the door to the small crowd including vidar behind them. "A DOOR!"

Vidar tossed Theo the keys and said, "Okay well you go up there first. Scream if you die."

Theo's face fell like that was a really possibility, but they straightened their shoulders, unlocked the door and skittered up the stairs.

"How the hell we gonna explain to managment that The HR Cat died in some sort of schodingers apartment door situation?" Vidar asks those closest to him.

 

[abirdyofmanynames]

"World cruel and scary. Floor cool and quiet." Harper mumbled as the café continued its crazy operations.

At the tiniest hint of physical contact, Harper perked up. The world did not deserve Norah. And the café REALLY didn't deserve her. She buried her face into that curly blue hair. And in the saddest voice asked, "Can I have a cookie and some water?"

Hearing the commotion from the other room she furrowed her brows, "Is the back on fire again?"

 

[theunearthlyfool]

Once she's got the other catgirl all securely scooped up, she gives her a squeeze. "Aw, I know, love. Yes, you sure can have a cookie. And some water too, just a sec."

Norah looks helplessly between the friend in her arms and her bosses trooping into the back room, having tuned out most of the argument. "That's… that's exactly where I need to- ugh." She wishes she had a way to reach up and cover poor Harper's ears from all the commotion, but instead takes her around and lays her on the couch in the cafe, surrounded by Vidar's plants.

That's at least away from most of the noise and having the plants around will hopefully help soothe her a bit, but Norah clicks her tongue at the predicament anyway. "No, I don't think there's a fire." She reaches up and pulls the blinds back down, turning them slightly closed to help block out some of the sunrise shining in. "Sounds like Vidar is posturing at Theo for some reason, but it isn't working.

"Okay lovely," she murmurs, "I'm gonna go get that snack and also a blanket for you, I'll be right back. You just take it easy, all right?"

She delivers the cup of cool water and the biggest damn chocolate chip cookie she can find to the puddle of Harper out on the couch. It occurs to her that she's glad Alkaev didn't come back after Kev windied him or she couldn't have been held liable for the ass kicking she would've given him after the state he's put Harper in. The brain monster seems pleased by this but she flips it off internally, moving on to her next problem.

All the blankets are in the back, which is where most everyone else has gone, but Norah resolves to not let curiosity get the best of her and finish taking care of Harper as she heads back there. She pushes past Kevin, heading for the shared sleeping space to grab Harper's blanket-

"Um, what the fuck?" Kevin's clone tube is on its side, leaking goo, and Theo is passive-aggressively posing in front of a door she's never seen before. As Norah comes up behind him, Vidar tosses his keys to the little HR rep. "Okay well you go up there first. Scream if you die."

Norah stares at the door, her tail flicking in confusion being the only part of her not frozen by this bizarre scene. "Uh… Do you want me to go with you, Theo?" she calls after them. Harper got her cookie and her water, she can wait another minute for a blanket, right? she thinks to herself, promptly forgetting her resolution.

Vidar cracks wise and she gives him a dubious look. "Idk boss, that's your problem, isn't it?" she replies dryly. "Wait. Apartment door?" Norah does a double-take at the door in question, brain buffering a bit slowly this morning. "...We have an apartment?!"

 

[TrashRabbit]

"...Theo says we have an upstairs. I have been here for years and there has never been an *upstairs*" Vidar says making upstairs as posh sounding as possible.

 

[Graystone713]

“Theo’s a professional. They wouldn’t die to some horrible attic spider or apartment ghost... But that might just be because I’m backing them up.”

Said Kevin, scampering after Theo and falling into Magellan Biodynamics Standard Battle Formation Volley-Spike. Which is to say he would go high and spike a gust of wind down if he saw anything hostile. He’d also tell Theo to go low if he did that because callouts made teamwork happen!

 

[abirdyofmanynames]

Harper feeling a great deal of self pity and helplessness allowed Norah to spoil her with attention and baked goods. "What'd be do to deserve you?" she asked Norah, as her coworker got her situated. She snuggled into the couch nibbling at the cookie, so that it could last just a bit longer. She told herself once it was gone, she would go right back to work. But for now, she rolled over. Nibble nibble nibble. At least the shop was not on fire. Nibble nibble. And if it was, she supposed the others were capable enough to handle it themselves.