Calvin Klein and Cigarettes

tbh, if it had fitted them, that would have been even stranger and we might have to consider the possibility that we were psychic xD but dayyyyymn indeed.


And dammit Oscar, another area in which you have failed to live up to the punk stereotype :P


The public of america are going to think Craig's his special needs handler or something.


"Can we keep them?" Of course he may change his mind about this when the ten lizards he kidnapped adopted decide to eat his food for him.


Kororo and doki doki are pretty much the extent of my japanese knowledge, but are both coming in handy here =w= fortunately that's not a problem for me because suave isn't really on the table for Oscar.
 
I guess Oscaig / Craicar, (their ship names are awful) are just one of a kind. One of a weird kind. God. So. Weird.


Craig makes him put them back but maybe for his birthday he gets him a pet lizard. Prenamed Craig Jr of course.


Kokoro (heart)? Ehehe. People use doki doki here a lot. Like, hand over their heart, saying doki doki out loud. It's so funny. Craig's inside are going doki doki doki doki right now. He's headed for doki doki death.
 
I spent a good half an hour trying to sound out decent ship names for them - whilst doing other things, I'm not completely insane >W> - and nope. There's nothing. Their ship names are as awkward and loser-filled as them. I kind of like Craicar though, just because crai sounds like cray as in cray-cray as in crazy. So their ship name is kind of crazy car. And this is how I spend my free time. Dissecting awful ship names =w=


Oscar will insist on watching films with Craig Jr, until he realises how impractical this is given what film watching tends to lead into...


I'm going to defend my shit-awful japanese knowledge as say I meant kokoro, but my fingers were crazy shaky (because it's so freaking cold over here right now) and have been typo-central atm xD apologies for that btw... and wow, I mean I sometimes say it has a joke, but I couldn't imagine it being a done thing. Japan must be so cool to live in =w= and it's okay, Oscar being a paranoid worrywart should hopefully have saved Craig from a heart attack.


"Cause of death?"


"Sir it's..."


"Yes?"


"DOKI DOKI death."


"Dear lord..."
 
Oh god I didn't even notice that. These two are definitely the cray cray. They are. The. Cray. Cray. Literally, omg, I'm still listening to Christmas music and like, Santa Baby came on. Before I had sort of pictured their Christmas like, Craig would intensely persuade Oscar to dress up as Santa as they exchanged gifts and now I just picture Craig walking in with his Christmas swag (antlers and Christmas undies), singing terribly to that song. It's an awful thought.


"Okay Craig Junior, I am going to teach you about your history." They watch a dino movie together, with lazers, punching, nonsensical dino shenanigans, Craig just comes in singing Santa baby. Yep, we know where this leads to.


Is it? D: Aww. Baby it's cold. Out. Side. It's only december 4th and seriously I'm just living off of Christmas music flowing through my veins. "Oh god Oscar you made my kokoro go brokekoro. It doki doki'd one to make times and brokie dokied.... Oscar stop laughing this isn't Okie Doki!" That's their pillow talk.


 
http://jeanlubipieguski.tumblr.com/post/82830909431/hachidraws-with-the-warmer-sunnier-weather


http://jeanlubipieguski.tumblr.com/post/85924173287/miyajimamizy-you-you-look-cool-even-in-a


http://jeanlubipieguski.tumblr.com/image/85944413817


Those. All. Describe them. Though probably not looks wise. xD
 
For pity's sake. At least warn me when you're chain-linking images of JeanMarco. Then at least I might have a chance to brace my poor, fragile heart xD Seriously, I just happily opened them up surrounded by family, which made them pretty concerned and all 'bro, u ok over there?'


'Yeah, just having a manly heart attack reaction to manly things. Or, to put it in technical speak, I am suffering a doki doki death."


I imagine Oscar would consider it a fair trade that he had to swear a santa suit in return for Craig swanning around in naught but underwear and antlers.


Dear god, never let them adopt a child. Oscar would probably accidentally convince the kid that they were descending from a race of aliens, or that sharknados were a real possibility.


=w= worth the cold to get to sing that song. And only 21 days to go >w<


"Craig, I love you and your malfunctioning kokoro, but you are a complete and total baka."


This is seriously testing my japanese knowledge.


I thought Craicar angst was dangerous. Craicar cuteness and fluff is way, way more dangerous. Fortunately I was cooking whilst reading it so the fact that it made me insanely hungry was okay xD The food porn was much appreciated >w<
 
Ehehehe. Ehehe. No. Regrets. Literally I don't even watch that show and those two are just uhg yes. Of course just manly things. They are all. Man. Freckly man and short punky man. But all man.


I think, Craig needs another flaw, so maybe he is terrible with children. Oscar is just wonderful with kids I imagine, because he is like a child himself but Craig doesn't even know what to do with them. Oscar will come home and the kids are screaming and Craig is screaming: "HOW DO I TURN IT OFF IT WON'T STOP!" Sob sob sob.


UHG. Too long. I want Christmas here already. Our winter break starts on the 23rd... x.x


That's perfect japanese right there. That's their relationship. They are both bakas and their kokoros go doki doki until they explode.


I can't even eat any of that food so I'm dying. I want it all. I want it. I had an egg salad sandwich and mentos today. That's probably all I'll have. DX


I typically like describing food, but when I do a lazy description, it's because I get hungry. xD


I had a little idea. It's understandable that Oscar will be a little self conscious, thinking Craig won't really want to tell people, that he just said that to make him feel better. But he comes early to get Craig from work and literally Craig is just showing everyone a picture of him and Oscar together at their Christmas dinner, introducing him as his boyfriend, all hearts and starts and lovely and cutie. Maaaybe a little confidence booster for the baka.
 
Oscar is so stealing the freckles thing. And I think we can both agree both babycats are manly as fuck *cough*


It will thus become Oscar's life mission to indoctrinate Craig into the ways of children handling. "If you can live with me, you can handle kids." Right as one of them paints a pretty picture on the walls with Craig's concealer, using the last of it up :) Hopefully the sounds of children being murdered in the bathroom won't become literal =w=


Jeeeesus, you don't half break up late. You going back to the US of A for christmas this year or not?


And as you can see, I am an expert in the language -w- Snowflake baka is now my favourite nickname for Oscar >w>


*pat pat* I'd give you food but apparently that's not how the internet works. I hope you managed to get something else xD And urgh, I could never be that good at food description, especially since I'd just want to try cook it TT_TT Still learning how to cook though so this has proved most educational xD


>w< I love that idea. Especially combined with Oscar thinking he'll be super cool with coming out and then when it comes down to it with other people he's all 'holy hell Craig what have I done' and require serious hand holding in certain situations *cough* looking at you parents *cough* Craig being all 'here pictures of my boyfriend YOU MUST SEE' would probably be the only thing getting him through it xD
 
Oh god good thing Craig's the working one because he has no idea how to be mom. "I can make them food and that's about it. The rest is up to you." Oscar will just come home, Craig will be crying in the fetal position in the corner and the kids will be causing havoc. "T-They didn't want nap time..."


I am not. D; So no family this year. I'm going to Kyoto for Christmas which will be fun but like, faaaamily.


Seppon no baka. Snowflake baka. Babycat baka.


The internet is clearly not as good at I thought it was then. I made fried ramen. Literally, I can't cook to save my life. I make all my characters be really super good at cooking. Then me. Who literally makes fried (typed friend by accident) ramen with ketchup.


People will get so sick of Craig talking about Oscar because he will be so annoying. He'll get a new wallet with one of those fold out picture things and it's just all pictures of Oscar in totally awkward poses. Candid photos. One of Oscar stuffing his face, dazed and confused in his christmas boxers in the morning probs scratching his butt, holding a bottle of vodka. But Craig is still like: "My baby cat is wonderful..." As people back away slowly.
 
Oscar will just have them all asleep in under twenty minutes, and then come and retrieve Craig and cuddle him to help numb the PTSD. "Maybe... next time don't assume the foetal position. Or bribe them with food if they're going insane. Works with me, it'll probably work with them."


Ah man, I am sorry for the faaaaamily loss, but at the same time, massive Kyoto envy 0w0 arghhh. What's living in Japan like btw?


I was going to say thank god google translate exists for that first sentence, but then it detected the language as Filipino and I did a Craig and assumed the foetal position.


Wow, the detail you put in makes you sound like you know what the heck you're doing, so you can't be that bad :P *touchwood*. And I hope that was a finger slip rather than an association slip. I hope your friends aren't fried. Especially by your hands. Because I'm pretty sure they don't let you RP in jail :P


When Oscar finds it he'll just demand why there are no 'normal' pictures of him in there, but when going through the available stock he will realise there are no pictures in existence that make him look 'normal' or attractive, and he'll just have to be grateful that Craig is somehow blind when it comes down to him and finds these things endearing anyway. Naturally it will be the opposite for Craig; Oscar will try to exact his revenge by showing off embarrassing pictures of Craig, but in every single picture in existence of him, he just looks flawless and airbrushed and suave as fuck.
 
Uhg literally Oscar will have to be the stay at home parent. Craig comes home after a terrible exhausting day of being sexy:


"Honey I'm home!"


"Sick him, little ones." Oscar just points to Craig and sends the kids to attack daddy.


It's like... living a life without pizza, where everything around you is cute and everyone is like Craig and sings the song to frozen really really badly. Like, terribly. That movie is so popular here and everyone sings it, and they suck. Though it's pretty cool. If you ever get the chance, staying here is fairly cheap. The air fair is what gets you though.


Idk. Maybe. Secretly. Fried friends. I do miss fried foods. Ehe. Ehehehe. (◐◞౪◟◑’)┐


Aw maybe it would be cute if like, Oscar thinks maybe Craig is making fun of him in a way, by showing the pictures, but Craig is genuinely like: "Look at my babymeowmeow! He loves my cooking." And it's Oscar stuffing his face.


"At at my baabbuu he loves Christmas too!" And Oscar is in a super tight fitting Christmas sweater looking miserable.


I was also thinking that maybe Danny doesn't find out about them for a while. (They just never get around to bragging about it to him because they don't see him, don't call, etc) So Danny stops by apologizing, being super sweet and it's time for Oscar to assert his manly dominance! And in return, we can have the same thing happen. Someone finally has eyes for Oscar and Craig is just like: "OH. HELL. NO."
 
I like how their tender loving relationship results in setting the children on Craig after a day at work. And that Oscar has become a housewife when he can't cook. Feeding the kids when Craig's not there would go so well.


Living a life without pizza?! Surely somewhere there must be pizza 0__0 but I have heard Japanese covers of frozen and I know what you mean. And I thought we were obsessed with it over here. Every party ends up in drunk shrieking of Frozen. It sounds both amazing and like torture over there >w< What's the air fair though?


*slowly backs away, grabbing the frying pan on the way*


Oscar would definitely think he was making fun of him xD Mainly because no one besides Craig can understand why he finds these pictures adorable. Especially since the super tight sweater would be Craig's fault. Oscar would think it was all some evil genius humiliation plan :P and struggle to remain feeling manly as Craig calls him babuuu


I am so down with both of these plans xD I can so imagine Oscar just giving him a look that clearly says 'eheheehee, and you ruled me out. Still pissed 'bout that btw bro'
 
I thought I replied to this... >>


Craig will just hide on the counter and throw cereal on the floor for them to eat.


NO. THERE IS NO AFFORDABLE PIZZA AND IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW BADLY I AM GOING TO EAT WHEN I GET HOME. I'LL GET SICK AND DIE OF OVER EATING. LIKE 50000 CALORIES IN AN HOUR.


But yeaaaah the frozen thing is ah. Ah..... yeaaaaaaaaaaah.


Just wait. I will make Craig go crazy boyfriend. Photo albums everywhere. Sticky notes with hearts before he leaves for work... So cute. How ever will Oscar remain manly. I don't think he'll last long.


"Looks like C likes the O better than the D."


"No... no I still like the D. But I like the O.D. LOL I LIKE TO O.D. ON THE O.D." (Literally I just thought of this now and I'm dying help me.)


Then this happens: https://33.media.tumblr.com/1928af1e16534e9ce49092e45a1252e6/tumblr_ng2renxK0m1qzrfnao1_1280.jpg
 
Those are exactly the kind of cool as fuck undies that one of these two idiots would wear for 'sexy times' xD


And this website is weird and doesn't post stuff sometimes *pouts moodily*


PIZZA IS WORTH DEATH. Argh, I don't think I could survive in a country without pizza. Melted cheese is an essential food item in my life. I mean I know Japan is supposed to be super healthy in that sense but... surely they have some good junk food?


Craig will just return to find him melted on the floor, flushed all over and drowning in heart-shaped sticky notes. He cannot handle this much love. It confuses him.


At which point the D will just back of the door. "Nevermind actually. I just realised you are a complete dork and weirdo. You two deserve each other, really."


There seem to be far too many D jokes available for Oscar from that weiner (sp?) song to this now xD
 
Or dear lord both of them do. Craig has little christmas lights and of course Oscar would have something dorkier. Space, dinos, dinos in space.


CHEESE IS A NO. NO CHEESE ANYWHERE. IF THERE IS, IT'S SUPER EXPENSIVE. I'VE LOST LIKE 10KG SINCE I CAME HERE AND I WASN'T OVERWEIGHT TO BEGIN WITH. I need my cheese. Craig makes all the good food that I can't eat/make.


Literally these two are going to go out, one of them makes some sort of joke and they start howling and cackling in the middle of the mall. Beth comes over: "Wow you are gay AND lost your bonkers."


Craig will introduce Oscar as his: "Baefriend. This is my bae. My bae bae."


The moment you named his Oscar I sung that in my head and thought up all the wiener jokes I possibly could.
 
Dinos is space sounds like his idea of heaven so :P


o___o No... no.... no... CHEESE?! How are you still alive? I'd have learned how to swim back home to find the cheese. Now I'm just sat here contemplating all the foods you subsequently don't have access to. I am so sorry for your loss xD I guess at least you have Craig to dream about non-existent food through :P


In Oscar's defence, this sounds like the most humiliating coming out party ever xD Especially since it's being done in a dorky as hell too-small light up sweater. Beth is just going to be judging them both so hard, and be convinced that Oscar is solely dating Craig for the booty, considering how he seems to just be repeating the word bae over and over again. "Is your boyfriend broken or just special?"


I'm so glad I made that life decision -w-


Apologies for not replying for I think 2 days btw, school decided that it was going to celebrate christmas by making us do a bunch of tests and concerts all at once so I've just been crying into textbooks xD
 
No cheese. I don't live. I simply... exist. I'm sad that I go home in like, two months, but SO GOSH DANG EXCITED TO EAT CHEESE MY GOOD GOLLY FUCK DAMN IT CHEESE BAE COME BACK TO ME.


Just wait, until Craig bends over to pick up something the bae dropped. Eyeful of booty.


"Hey bae, what do you want for breakfast? BAEcon?" O u O <3


I still. Can't. Think. Of a last name for Craig. I want it to be funny. But. I don't even know.


That's okay! Ahaha don't worry. I should be studying for my own tests, but we don't have winter break during Christmas. It's from February to March. x.x
 
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