The T103 virus twisted apart families, that was something that everyone knew. But it was different, and worse, when you had to watch a person you really love degenerate from the disease. That was not something Chana ever experienced, to watch someone you love be so close but so far, and for that to happen after losing a father…a pretty good father, from what she gleaned.
Chana didn't really know what it meant to have such a strong family unit, a perfect three…a father, mother, and child that had a healthy love for one another. It just wasn't something she got to experience, aside from Asher. And then to have that taken all away in a matter of months…it was probably like watching a part of yourself get ripped away. She could feel Mel trembling under her palm, the younger girl's eyes dry. But Chana understood.
Some things were just too sacred and sad for tears. And when you lock those things away for too long…tears are hard to come by, even if you want them. Chana herself couldn't remember the last time she really shed tears. Shaking the thought, she simply sat by Mel and slowly processed everything the girl had said.
The family life Chana was used to was a fragmented one, the healthiest connection being in between her and Asher. But Chana had never really had someone to look up to, no one to lean on. It was her, and her baby brother who was both her sole joy and responsibility. She wondered what it would be like to have experienced what Mel had, to have that idyllic family for a little while. To be able to have someone to rely on. Was it better to have loved and lost, or not loved at all?
The two women had almost opposite situations to start with, but in the end…they were both the same. Basically alone. Chana's heart seemed to beat slower, each steady thump aching with the sting of mirrored pain. A myriad of emotions had passed over Mel's face as she talked, like a bitter dance. Towards the end, though, her grimacing look of pain was replaced with a melancholy smile.
"Wow. I've never opened up to anyone like that before. But, I swear to God, that if you happen to break me and my trust then I won't have any qualms about giving you absolute hell. I've been broken and misplaced far too many times for it to be remotely healthy. If it were to happen again then... well, I'd rather not find out."
A humorless laugh escaped Chana's lips at those words. She lifted her hand from Mel's knee, gave her hand a squeeze, and then crossed her arms. She lifted her good hand to rake through her inky black hair, fingers getting caught on snarls here and there until the waved locks ended a little past her waist.
"Oh, kid. I would never break the trust of someone who has all this information on me. You could too easily retaliate. But remember that likewise, if you say anything about my fairytale of a life...I'll be after you before you're even able to finish the story," Chana laughed dryly, giving Mel a small grin, a sisterly sort of jest. Her face then turned more serious, the smile fading slightly from her face. "But, you do have my word. I think we can agree that this conversation stays between the two of us alone."
She paused, looking at Mel. She chose her words carefully, but spoke what was on her mind. "I'm sorry. That you had to go through that. I don't know what it means to have a family like that, but I know what loss feels like. Thank you for trusting me with part of your story, and thank you for letting me trust you with a bit of mine. A solid exchange. It was a bit of a relief talking with you. No facades or sarcastic masks for a little while. I guess we aren't that different, you and I. Good thing too, because you're not so bad," Chana gave a quick laugh. "And it was nice having a real conversation with someone whose age is actually in the double digits."
Smiling at the girl, Chana stood up and retrieved some alcohol swabs from the medical kit. She began to clean and dress the cut on Mel's head as she talked. No sign of infection, and the cut was shallow enough that Chana wasn't worried. She truly enjoyed talking to the younger girl. Trust wasn't something Chana was used to. But today, she realized why people liked to talk about their pasts. In freed part of themselves from it. Maybe now, a little bit of her story out there in the open, she would be able to let others in, and heed the advice she had given to Takai earlier. While she knew it would be a long and difficult process….maybe it was time that Chana tried to move on to better things.
Chana didn't really know what it meant to have such a strong family unit, a perfect three…a father, mother, and child that had a healthy love for one another. It just wasn't something she got to experience, aside from Asher. And then to have that taken all away in a matter of months…it was probably like watching a part of yourself get ripped away. She could feel Mel trembling under her palm, the younger girl's eyes dry. But Chana understood.
Some things were just too sacred and sad for tears. And when you lock those things away for too long…tears are hard to come by, even if you want them. Chana herself couldn't remember the last time she really shed tears. Shaking the thought, she simply sat by Mel and slowly processed everything the girl had said.
The family life Chana was used to was a fragmented one, the healthiest connection being in between her and Asher. But Chana had never really had someone to look up to, no one to lean on. It was her, and her baby brother who was both her sole joy and responsibility. She wondered what it would be like to have experienced what Mel had, to have that idyllic family for a little while. To be able to have someone to rely on. Was it better to have loved and lost, or not loved at all?
The two women had almost opposite situations to start with, but in the end…they were both the same. Basically alone. Chana's heart seemed to beat slower, each steady thump aching with the sting of mirrored pain. A myriad of emotions had passed over Mel's face as she talked, like a bitter dance. Towards the end, though, her grimacing look of pain was replaced with a melancholy smile.
"Wow. I've never opened up to anyone like that before. But, I swear to God, that if you happen to break me and my trust then I won't have any qualms about giving you absolute hell. I've been broken and misplaced far too many times for it to be remotely healthy. If it were to happen again then... well, I'd rather not find out."
A humorless laugh escaped Chana's lips at those words. She lifted her hand from Mel's knee, gave her hand a squeeze, and then crossed her arms. She lifted her good hand to rake through her inky black hair, fingers getting caught on snarls here and there until the waved locks ended a little past her waist.
"Oh, kid. I would never break the trust of someone who has all this information on me. You could too easily retaliate. But remember that likewise, if you say anything about my fairytale of a life...I'll be after you before you're even able to finish the story," Chana laughed dryly, giving Mel a small grin, a sisterly sort of jest. Her face then turned more serious, the smile fading slightly from her face. "But, you do have my word. I think we can agree that this conversation stays between the two of us alone."
She paused, looking at Mel. She chose her words carefully, but spoke what was on her mind. "I'm sorry. That you had to go through that. I don't know what it means to have a family like that, but I know what loss feels like. Thank you for trusting me with part of your story, and thank you for letting me trust you with a bit of mine. A solid exchange. It was a bit of a relief talking with you. No facades or sarcastic masks for a little while. I guess we aren't that different, you and I. Good thing too, because you're not so bad," Chana gave a quick laugh. "And it was nice having a real conversation with someone whose age is actually in the double digits."
Smiling at the girl, Chana stood up and retrieved some alcohol swabs from the medical kit. She began to clean and dress the cut on Mel's head as she talked. No sign of infection, and the cut was shallow enough that Chana wasn't worried. She truly enjoyed talking to the younger girl. Trust wasn't something Chana was used to. But today, she realized why people liked to talk about their pasts. In freed part of themselves from it. Maybe now, a little bit of her story out there in the open, she would be able to let others in, and heed the advice she had given to Takai earlier. While she knew it would be a long and difficult process….maybe it was time that Chana tried to move on to better things.
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