Mirai
Good-ish Witch of the North East
Mirror's Edge:
Hmm, what if Spider-Man parkoured.
Hmm, what if Spider-Man parkoured.
Badly Explaining Games
- Thread starter Deadkool
- Start date
Gladius
Jellybean Queen
[media]Identical said:
[/media]
Mirai
Good-ish Witch of the North East
I LOVE THIS XDDDDGladius said:
Afterthought
Impulsive™
The Sims:
I left the game running unattended for five minutes and now the house is on fire and half the family is dead.
I left the game running unattended for five minutes and now the house is on fire and half the family is dead.
Last edited by a moderator:
Hercynia
Island of Thoughts
Warframe: Space ninjas guided by reformed overlord AI that wages guerrilla warfare against Money-loving cult and armoured zombie clones with guns and spaceships.
Hercynia
Island of Thoughts
Also, Brawlhalla: Fighting in an arena in Valhalla because... Reasons?
MedievalMethods
Saturday Night Dragon-Slayer
Dying Light:
What Dead Island should have been.
What Dead Island should have been.
Birdsie
The God-Emperor of Mankind
Undertale:
A kid falls into hell and makes friends with an elderly goat woman, a nihilistic skeleton, a narcissistic skeleton, the large mermaid, a lizard scientist, calcutron himself and a goat-king. (Everyone is on crack btw.)
Oblivion:
You were sentenced to prison, then you meet the god-emperor of super-mankind and he tells you you are the chosen one and you kill demons and shit.
Dante's Inferno:
You defeat death and then you go to church, where hell is and you go there and beat the crap out of Satan and fetuses with chainsaws instead of hands.
Dawn of War:
You're a commander of the super-op god-like human cyborg people and you tell them to shoot aliens and robots and stuff.
Skyrim:
You shout so loud that it kills stuff.
Half-life:
Because of your shitty co-workers aliens invade earth and you have to kill a giant telepathic floating fetus to stop them.
Half-life 2:
Even if you killed the giant telepathic floating fetus you can't stop them, so now you have to kill an elderly man that used to be your boss to stop them.
Half-life 2 Episode 1:
Even if you killed the elderly man that used to be your boss, you didn't stop them, now you have to help people run and destroy a giant skyscraper in the process.
Half-life 2 Episode 2:
Even if you destroyed the giant scyscraper, you didn't stop them, now you have to nuke the shit out of a city.
Half-life 3:
Will never happen because Gaben can't count to 3.
Team Fortress 1:
Never happened.
Team Fortress 2:
You are a member of a group of people with borderline personality disorder that kill each other and get paid for it... with kangaroo DNA melted into gold.
XCOM:
Little men invade earth with tiny laser guns.
XCOM 2:
Big men taken over earth with huge plasma guns, now you have to stop them from taking all the doritos.
A kid falls into hell and makes friends with an elderly goat woman, a nihilistic skeleton, a narcissistic skeleton, the large mermaid, a lizard scientist, calcutron himself and a goat-king. (Everyone is on crack btw.)
Oblivion:
You were sentenced to prison, then you meet the god-emperor of super-mankind and he tells you you are the chosen one and you kill demons and shit.
Dante's Inferno:
You defeat death and then you go to church, where hell is and you go there and beat the crap out of Satan and fetuses with chainsaws instead of hands.
Dawn of War:
You're a commander of the super-op god-like human cyborg people and you tell them to shoot aliens and robots and stuff.
Skyrim:
You shout so loud that it kills stuff.
Half-life:
Because of your shitty co-workers aliens invade earth and you have to kill a giant telepathic floating fetus to stop them.
Half-life 2:
Even if you killed the giant telepathic floating fetus you can't stop them, so now you have to kill an elderly man that used to be your boss to stop them.
Half-life 2 Episode 1:
Even if you killed the elderly man that used to be your boss, you didn't stop them, now you have to help people run and destroy a giant skyscraper in the process.
Half-life 2 Episode 2:
Even if you destroyed the giant scyscraper, you didn't stop them, now you have to nuke the shit out of a city.
Half-life 3:
Will never happen because Gaben can't count to 3.
Team Fortress 1:
Never happened.
Team Fortress 2:
You are a member of a group of people with borderline personality disorder that kill each other and get paid for it... with kangaroo DNA melted into gold.
XCOM:
Little men invade earth with tiny laser guns.
XCOM 2:
Big men taken over earth with huge plasma guns, now you have to stop them from taking all the doritos.
Last edited by a moderator:
HK Fifty
Jedi Historian
KOTOR 1 lightside : ultimate paragon of the universe kills three fourths of everyone he meets or sees and no one cares.
KOTOR 2 dark side : ultimate evil in the universe kills seven eighths of everyone he meets and the only one who still likes you is a copper colored droid. Also , your skin turns grey and veiny.
KOTOR 2 dark side : ultimate evil in the universe kills seven eighths of everyone he meets and the only one who still likes you is a copper colored droid. Also , your skin turns grey and veiny.
HK Fifty
Jedi Historian
Actually , scratch k1 DS and replace it with : same guy kills three fourths of everyone he meets or sees for different reasons and everyone acts like the universe is ending. Also , your skin turns grey and veiny and no one cares or notices.
Man my brain is toast , replace K1 LS with : guy kills three fourths of everyone he meets , but gives money to poor people like he has a trillion dollars so everyone pretends he's the paragon of the universe.
Man my brain is toast , replace K1 LS with : guy kills three fourths of everyone he meets , but gives money to poor people like he has a trillion dollars so everyone pretends he's the paragon of the universe.
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MedievalMethods
Saturday Night Dragon-Slayer
Enter The Matrix:
Its like the today of tomorrow, but yesterday.
Grey
Dialectical Hermeticist
Zombie hobo murders god.
ChiaRoseKuro
professional insomniac
Stepmania :: Now you've got a reason to slam your forehead against a keyboard, repeatedly
Osu :: Mouse-clicking hell, legitimized and now even more annoying for everyone around!!
Neko Atsume :: Watch your soul get sucked out through cat buttholes and fat cats perpetually eating your food.
(Any) Grand Theft Auto :: What your life would be like if you didn't need to worry about dying whenever you drove without a license, got loaded with unlimited supplies of weapons and actually met people who monologue endlessly whenever you meet them.
Osu :: Mouse-clicking hell, legitimized and now even more annoying for everyone around!!
Neko Atsume :: Watch your soul get sucked out through cat buttholes and fat cats perpetually eating your food.
(Any) Grand Theft Auto :: What your life would be like if you didn't need to worry about dying whenever you drove without a license, got loaded with unlimited supplies of weapons and actually met people who monologue endlessly whenever you meet them.
RaCka
New Member
Pokemon:
Booga booga booga! >
Booga booga booga! >
MisterUniverse
Literally Cannot
Super Mario World Series:
The game where literally everything wants to kill you.
The game where literally everything wants to kill you.
Birdsie
The God-Emperor of Mankind
Borderlands:
The treasure hunt simulator, in which everyone and everything wants to murder you on sight.
Borderlands 2:
The treasure hunt simulator, in which everyone and everything wants to murder you on sight, including a stereotypical, borderline personality disorder villain.
Dark Souls:
The perfect title for a masochist.
Half-life:
Aliens happen and shit explodes.
Half-life 2:
Aliens happen and then Soviet Russia goes boom.
Undertale:
You fall into hell and meet sociopath flowers, nihilistic skeletons and goat people.
Any Telltale game:
The game that tells you that your choices matter, but they actually don't.
Assassin's Creed:
Falling from high rooftops and stabbing people with knives simulator.
StarCraft:
En Taro Adun
StarCraft Brood Wars:
Scary Alien Overmind Simulator 1980
StarCraft II:
This game tries to sell you shit like: "Radiation gives magic powers" and tries to get away with it.
StarCraft II Wings of Liberty:
... Go humans, go?
StarCraft II Heart of the Swarm:
Scary Alien Overmind Simulator 2016 PLATINUM Edition, Super-Collector Edition, Golden MLG 360 noscope edition
StarCraft II Legacy of the Void:
The DLC in which you realize that StarCraft had way too many DLC's.
StarCraft Ghost:
Possibly the best StarCraft game... that was cancelled.
Star Wars Battlefront II:
Good game.
Star Wars Battlefront (EA):
Good riddance.
The treasure hunt simulator, in which everyone and everything wants to murder you on sight.
Borderlands 2:
The treasure hunt simulator, in which everyone and everything wants to murder you on sight, including a stereotypical, borderline personality disorder villain.
Dark Souls:
The perfect title for a masochist.
Half-life:
Aliens happen and shit explodes.
Half-life 2:
Aliens happen and then Soviet Russia goes boom.
Undertale:
You fall into hell and meet sociopath flowers, nihilistic skeletons and goat people.
Any Telltale game:
The game that tells you that your choices matter, but they actually don't.
Assassin's Creed:
Falling from high rooftops and stabbing people with knives simulator.
StarCraft:
En Taro Adun
StarCraft Brood Wars:
Scary Alien Overmind Simulator 1980
StarCraft II:
This game tries to sell you shit like: "Radiation gives magic powers" and tries to get away with it.
StarCraft II Wings of Liberty:
... Go humans, go?
StarCraft II Heart of the Swarm:
Scary Alien Overmind Simulator 2016 PLATINUM Edition, Super-Collector Edition, Golden MLG 360 noscope edition
StarCraft II Legacy of the Void:
The DLC in which you realize that StarCraft had way too many DLC's.
StarCraft Ghost:
Possibly the best StarCraft game... that was cancelled.
Star Wars Battlefront II:
Good game.
Star Wars Battlefront (EA):
Good riddance.
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DoughGuy
I no longer dream
Dark Souls
The campfire went out and we have no matches
The campfire went out and we have no matches
Deadkool
A Sad Remnant of a Forgotten Time
(Wow, this thing got huge quick!)
The Banner Saga:
D*mn it Egil. Also evil rocks
The Banner Saga 2:
Somebody didn't pay the electric bill and the evil rocks are unhappy.
The Banner Saga:
D*mn it Egil. Also evil rocks
The Banner Saga 2:
Somebody didn't pay the electric bill and the evil rocks are unhappy.
RaCka
New Member
Creepypastaeate
Ayylien
Pokemon:
You beat criminals with animals and take their money.
You beat criminals with animals and take their money.
Birdsie
The God-Emperor of Mankind
Dishonored
F**k you, Havelock!
Dishonored: The Knife of Dunwall
F**k you, Delilah!
Dishonored: Brigmore Witches
F**k you, so, f**king hard, Corvo, ignorant motherf**ker! I just saved your bloody daugter for ffs and you just slit my throat!!!
Thief 4
The game that thinks you're so retarded, that it literally does most stuff for you.
F**k you, Havelock!
Dishonored: The Knife of Dunwall
F**k you, Delilah!
Dishonored: Brigmore Witches
F**k you, so, f**king hard, Corvo, ignorant motherf**ker! I just saved your bloody daugter for ffs and you just slit my throat!!!
Thief 4
The game that thinks you're so retarded, that it literally does most stuff for you.
Avanhelsing
New Member
Final Fantasy Ten
Athlete with daddy issues saves the world from an evil tick thing.
BioShock
Highly suggestible tourist murders hordes of addicts in a swanky undersea fish bowl.
Limbo
A young Tim Burton's morning commute.
Far Cry 3
A pair of bickering siblings teaches six self-absorbed tourists to reconnect with nature.
Athlete with daddy issues saves the world from an evil tick thing.
BioShock
Highly suggestible tourist murders hordes of addicts in a swanky undersea fish bowl.
Limbo
A young Tim Burton's morning commute.
Far Cry 3
A pair of bickering siblings teaches six self-absorbed tourists to reconnect with nature.
budgieboo
And they said it changes when the sun goes down
Love Live School Idol Festival: Basically Idol Hell
The Devil In I
Too Many Fxxkin Muses
Devil May Cry 3 : Dante's Awakening
Red Guy wants to Stop Blue Guy, Red Guy gets stabbed.
Red Guy wants to Stop Blue Guy, Red Guy gets stabbed.
HanzoHara
RONDO RONDO RONDO
Kingdom Hearts:
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