Badly Describe a Game Here

OR critters that beg you to do their dirty work for furniture and goods to build up your own functioning society

- animal crossing, anyone??
 
Spend time, effort, and genuine thought into a game and cry when somebody who spent $1,587,429,898,250,342,602,851,289.51 on the premium currency rolls you for the upteenth time.

-Anything made by Bytro
 
Star Wars Battlefront II but theere's no microtransactions and it is absolutely nothing like Star Wars Battlefront ll.
-Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order
 
Proof that WWI could have been prevented if it was sponsored by, and riddled with, microtransactions.

...and it's STILL better than Star Wars Battlefront 2!

-Battlefield 1
 
Six idiot wizards hijack rockets and take down the police force while being afraid of The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

-Magical Starsign
 
Ok so imagine, like candy, followed by more candy, and you have to like eat it to win? And don’t forget matching the candy because that’s important too.


Candy crush
 
In a world where you have no idea what exactly is going on but you're having a good time, play the role of the baddest, most horrifying beast known to mankind. With a simple yell, the world is changed.

-Phoenix Wright.

Play as Conan the Barbarian if he banged a sith lord.

-TES V, Skyrim.

Basically a cheaper danganronpa with alterable guns, and your mortal enemies are a bunch of psychotic morons that look like DBZ fusions of historical figures.

-Valkyria Chronicles 2.

Play as a fledgling super boob from twilight with the only redeeming qualities being smiting your opposition, cheating in sword duels, grunting, moaning when injured, and being a sick twisted son of a bitch with your prey.

-Star Wars, Jedi Knight Jedi Academy.

Play the insane Alice ala new Red Queen and terrorize all of England, smite your southern foes permanently, upgrade your arsenal, then get in a fight with a blind German caterpillar man, and swarm the absolute shit out of India and China with card guards millions in number.

-Crusader Kings 2.

A bunch of either menacing looking or psychotic yet actually pretty cool dudes gather around, quickly fraternizing but generally being varying scale people worst than I am socially, and a out of place rich snob that may or may not be related to Satan, try to endure their situations, only then sometimes for communities of apes to come on in, and turn these lovable mental patients into an artificial academy character, finally ending up being trolled by a total SAW reject.

Any danganronpa game ever in a million years. Worth it every time.

Play as the fusion of Chuck Norris, the Terminator, Duke Nukem, and practically Jesus Christ himself, in a world of fantastical magics in ancient distant lands. Experience the journey of losing and having to also then find your 12/10 curvo-bot 3,000 with the voice of gods, while eventually rediscovering yourself in some jungle surrounded old powerful white guy's basement. Then, finally strike down lord homoreptilerectus and some asshat in a super suit. From here, you escape the maidstar from space balls.

-Star Wars games with Kyle Katarn. [Dark Forces - Jedi Outcast.]

Play as the least likely Belgian/German/Polish war hero known to mankind in a Panzer IIIdash88. Experience fighting proactive Germanic Russians as your eastern homelands get wiped on both sides. Accompanied by the blue man group with a fetish on hating purplish raven heads, achieve impossible odds through superior tactical and strategic planning that would even give the secret service, and your own country leader's body guards, a mega stroke. Then enjoy ganging on some dude that wants to bring ragnarok.

-Valkyria Chronicles.

Magical looking psycho in better-than-your-whole-life "dress" sense, makes up a twisted game that would even make the riddler stare in awe to it's over curricular activities. Murder ensues and you are taken aback between wanting to become phoenix wright or superbatman. Que entrance of the biggest ensemble of asshats known to man.

-Umineko in general. But also fits in perfectly with at least one Dangan Ronpa title.

A framed Genius among the lost, the found, and civil rejects, takes command of a tank equal to it's predecessor and could roflstomp the entire home country singlehandedly. Take part in a glorious journey of trial by fire to stop tribal dressed Native Americans from genociding the entire continent with North Korea's nuclear arsenal.

-Valkyria Chronicles 3.

"Live, die, repeat." ~Black knight Tomicanius Maxi Cruderise while getting smited by a 5 pound skeleton with a literal 30 foot pole.

-Dark Souls.

Enter Purgatorio as the Terminator and smite some warp corrupted souls back to the glory of the high divine God Emperor.

-Painkiller.

"What if Adolf and America deathmarched Moscow with the third coming of Grand Admiral Thrawn, with a ranger battalion of rainbow knights and organizational and situationally-aware braindeads, and fought a hip cool, but sexual predator in a Elephant tank, super angry Einstein, and a Touhou character?"

-Valkyria Chronicles 4.

Innovative man of science also works as an exterminator that eradicates head humping parasites. Not just the crabs.

-Half Life Series.

An American and a German gets sent to hell, and retrieves wolverine's fist. Proceeds to obliterate hell itself while forming their own army from vampiric as well as stolen surface corpses. Ala, Mutant Chronicles.

-Necrovision and lost company.

A bunch of cutsy SCPs that make Rambo cry proceeds to spam their power to smite people and each other out of boredom, rivaling my Helios Blitz Smite on rule breakers, and makes even me want to cry as they fly around obliterating the universe. Then what looks like a five year old on weed saves the world. Then to resolve the weather, reenacts fight club.

-Literally Touhou. A great inspiration for moderators everywhere. Like Danganronpa but you don't have to force people into a random and elaborately set up super spot to smite them.

Super hero does nothing even when they actually do something.

-Original Mass Effect 3.

The Necroa Virus bangs the brains out of the Neurax worm, and the offspring decides to terrorize the galaxy because lulz by this point. Alongside this, sprindly legged velociraptors with guns keep one shotting our marines. And super jealous mega bitches nearly permanently exterminate all life. Thus green iron giant, another sentient velociraptor, or a demigod has to resolve this mess. Then at the end, your friend goes full wrath of khan, and an ancient eldergod shakes his fist at you proclaiming that you're on his lawn, and digitizes you.

-Every Halo game.

"Live long and suck it!"

-Winning a CoD match with a sidearm with the highest K/D ratio because memes.

Rambunctious neighbors endlessly click every three seconds, while a fungus slowly splits their head in half.

-The Last of Us.

Whiny brother goes to city to whine some more, but in the end kind of works out.

-Infamous second son.

A man with bits of plastic stapled to their shirt walks around with a m1911 wannabe. The environments a mind boggling in design, and will keep you on the edge of your seat for any reason. Combined with using songs in a method I don't even think is legal, the protagonist is just hellbent on succeeding.

-The God's Chain.

After getting roflstomped by fifty babillion ninjas, Harry potter meeting bioshock and the deathly plague rats pursue death or vengeance.

-Dishonored.

You get to plant C-4 on a boat, on top of a fighter jet, and launch it behind enemy lines. Desperately trying to reach the objective, you sigh in relief that enemy bullets detonate C-4 now too.

-Battlefield.

The roaring twenties meets the godfather meets the mafia series meets screaming rednecks. The only solution to the madness is taking up a wench and smacking at it.

-BioShock, BioShock Infinite.

Sir lardimus hulks around a super city that has been driven mad by poor decision, EA's executive decisions on recent games, buffalo wings, and rednecks with engineering skill. Partake in this exciting adventure of a lifetime as you smite petty peasants with drill arms, and deal with art deco super laser Eclipsians.

-BioShock 2.

A [Insert profession here] signs up on a routine expedition to the alpha quadrant. However upon arrival, it is plagued by a confused machine, a bunch of hill billy cosplayers, bad engineering techniques where you have to travel through sewers to access residential, and the residents are too doped up to even stand up. As you discover a Jedi lightsaber, you traverse this once paradise to recover your set of handy dice. Then presumably leave at some point as RNG has had enough favoring you for the session.

-SystemShock 2.

An Alucard Parasyte infects an adult man that dresses and acts like a emo teenager, trying to save the world but ends up going insane. Utilizing absorbed assets to achieve their goals as well as just not caring about anyone or thing anymore, this absolute walking manifesto saves the whole city then tries to kill it again, in the biggest pit of hypocritical irony I have had the pleasure of witnessing.

-Prototype series.

I hope you enjoyed today's installment of Kazami biblical walls, and I guarantee you I'm not a morphing, hair bladed, las plagas, sentient nope-rope mannequin amused by your use of cognitive function. Move along.
 
You can either spend your time annihilating miscellaneous insects and consuming their souls in order to smite your significantly more bad-ass clone, or you can spend said time attempting to hunt a flying cat with a gun strapped to it.
-Hollow Knight

1580866935470.png
 
Get abducted by aliens while raising an army and trashing the world. Get an award for stretchiest tongue.
-Goat Simulator.
 
Pretending to be imaginary people so as to temporarily forget your insignifigant existance.
-Roleplaying

The first appearence of a weapons triangle.
-Rock, Paper, Scissors

Become Teddy Roosevelt's worst enemy.
-Monopoly

Send out armise to die for your amusement, all so that you can protect a lazy dude who can't be bothered to do anything.
-Chess

Order hugs and kisses in a row.
-Tic Tac Toe

Violently assult small metal objects.
-Kick the Can
 
Collect dragons, and try to deal with a really angry clan
-dragoncity

Blocks to build
-blocks world

A little demon who turned into a total toddler
-bendy and the ink machine

Try to survive the night...
-five night at Freddy's
 
An uninteresting, cheaper, and tasteless clone of Hearts of Iron IV.
-Call of War 1942
 
Universally adored by every western nation (and Britain) except the US and sometimes Canada.
-Soccer

Universally adored by the US and absolutely nobody else.
-Football

The only time bludgeoning something with a bat is considered morally acceptable.
-Pinata Whacking

A man fights for the right to run around in a circle.
-Baseball
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top