Realistic or Modern Anchored by Love (Draft Four... lol)

[Lexus]

Amelia​

"Stop apologizing or I am going to start calling you Isabel. I understand." I knew Jayden would have to witness things during his time as an officer not even I could understand, and I knew I would have to remain patient because of it. I couldn't be selfish and self-centered expecting him to be right next to me every time I needed him to be because his calling was much bigger than himself, and I knew that was a sacrifice I was willing to make, mostly because he would have to make the same one for me when my own career called for the same thing. I felt that was part of the reasoning we worked so well together because we understood equally that our relationship and commitment to each other would not always be at the forefront of our agendas and that was okay, as long as we made the time to make up for it later. So far, we were off to a good start at maintaining a balance.

"They needed you and I can handle myself, I just like when you're there." Scrunching my nose, I kissed his cheek, taking notice to the blood transfer that made its way to his uniform.

"Go home, take a shower, and walk Roo for me?" I asked trying to keep his mind of all the tragic thoughts swirling in his brain. I knew after what he endured this morning, he wasn't going to sleep until he crashed. That's just how it was. "I'm sure she'll be happy to see someone. I'll let you know if they want to keep me."

Dawson​

I knew Isabel would crack eventually. It was only a matter of time and making her feel comfortable in my presence for her to let go of what was in her head. Smiling in success, I nodded at her reasoning, remaining quiet as she continued to explain herself. I learned the best way to get her attention was to listen to her. It was something she didn't get often.

"I understand," I replied, not offering much else like I knew she expected me to. "We both handled things in the way we felt we needed to, it's in the past now." Continuing down the road, I found myself reaching for her hand out of habit, grinning when she didn't reject the move.

"Hmm how about we try something new?" I suggested turning into the first place I saw and parking. "Now if you don't like, uhhh," Looking out the window for the name I laughed when I found it. "Braindead Brewery, it isn't my fault's it's the universe's doing, Deal?"

 

[isax]

Jayden​

I knew Amelia was going to tell me to go home, especially after what I just told her I endured before rushing to her side because she needed me. Sighing softly, I shook my head at Amelia's request, giving her hand a gentle squeeze before I leaned down and kissed her forehead, looking down at myself where I found the blood transfer she did. I looked like a hot mess in a uniform but I didn't mind.

"I'll go do all of that when Isabel gets back. We both know she isn't letting you stay here alone if you have to. When I know you have someone with you I go do everything you asked, maybe I'll even spruce up the place for your return." Grinning like a fool in love, I leaned back down and gave Amelia another soft kiss before I stood up and took off my equipment belt for now. Having the weight of the belt was more than annoying. "So Isabel and Dawson. What do you think is going to happen there?"

Isabel​

Dawson's hand in my own felt very familiar and despite everything I didn't move mine away but rather held onto his hand as well. Smiling softly to myself, I agreed when Dawson suggested we try something new. I didn't think he was being serious considering the southern cowboy was never really that adventurous with me before. My impulses always made him anxious but I never really cared. I wanted him to know there was so much more out there than the select few he switched from here and there, so when he pulled into the first spot to pop up, I couldn't hold back the infectious laugh that came from me when he looked out the window for the name of the place.

"Oh god, I didn't think you were serious about trying something new," I teased, wiping away a non-existent tear for dramatic affect. "This sounds interesting so let's get down and try it. I've heard their mimosas are good and ya girl could use one." Getting out of the truck, I hoped down, closing the door and walking to the front, confused when Dawson raised a brow at me. Oh shoot. Southern chivalry. "We've been a thing for how long now? I think we've out grew you opening the door for me. I'm an independent woman, I can hold my own."

Walking inside after he held the door open for me, I told the hostess that there was two of us, following her to our table where I sat down and thanked her, skimming over the menu in curiosity. So far what I liked about the place was the aesthetic. I need to bring Amelia here.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

"If I told you what I thought about them it would take all the fun in finding out because I'm almost always right," I replied in a sincere giggle before I held my arms back out to him to come back. When he did, I nestled my head into his chest, not caring about his contaminated uniform. Right now, I just needed to be close to him.

"I'm sorry about what you saw if I could take away what you're feeling I would, but you were a hero for those kids. I'm proud of you. I know it wasn't easy but you touched two people on the worst day of their life. That means something, Jayden. Not everybody can do what you do, but you were met for it, that obvious. Your uncle would be proud with how you carried on his legacy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It turns out, because of the amount of blood I lost on the table and the struggle to manage my pain with a safe dose, Dr. Watson kept me overnight. Not to my surprise, Jayden got called back in the same night and Isabel, despite my protests stayed with me throughout the night.

When morning finally rolled around I was quick to sign the discharge papers and changed into the clothes Jayden brought me before he left again to handle whatever his night shift would greet him with. To my delight and his favor, he brought me one of his Dallas PD shirts, the long sleeve one, my favorite and leggings. Finishing the look with a pair of running shoes I bought in college, I grabbed my purse and keys.

"Let's go," I said to Isabel after throwing my hair into a less than perfect ponytail, rolling my eyes when she took my keys. I wanted to insist I was fine, but I knew there was no point, Nick and Jayden would come back for my car later.

"Fine, but I just want to go home, nowhere else, please."

When Isabel pulled into my usual parking spot, I thanked her for the ride home, rolling my eyes again when she lectured me about not doing anything too strenuous.

"Okay, Mom, you can go get my prescription when it's ready then," I said teasingly. "Oh! And have fun with your date tonight. You'll have to let me know what it feels like letting someone go. God, you're such a badass, I'm jealous," In a laugh I said my goodbye, for now, knowing full well she would be back within the hour with my pain medicine and food because that's who Isabel was.

Unlocking the door to my apartment, I opened the door, running straight into Jayden, not expecting him to be on the other side of the door. Letting out a scared scream, it turned into a giggle fit when I realized who he was, my head now back against his chest.

"You scared me!" I exclaimed, hitting him, knowing it didn't affect him any, my tense body relaxing against his, feeling the pain slowly setting in again, and the incision starting to itch.

"What are you doing here? Did you come here instead of going home? You need to go to sleep!"

 

[isax]

Jayden​

Hearing her frightened scream turn into a fit of infectious giggles, I couldn't help but chuckle myself, smiling softly down at the love of my life before I held her in my arms, kissing the top of her head while she rested it against my chest. Rather than going back home, I opted to stop by Amelia's after I got out of my night shift, figuring being with her and napping at her apartment was better than being alone in my house. Feeling her hit me because I scared her, I laughed again, shaking my head.

"I can sleep when I'm dead plus being here with you would be better than being alone and someone has to take care of you," Leaning down, I gave Amelia a loving kiss, pulling away only to give her another one shortly after. "Though you look hot in my shirt, I ran you a bath, all warm and ready for you, even added one of those bath bombs Isabel always raves about."

With a wink I let her go, walking to her kitchen where I grabbed some items out of the fridge to make myself a sandwich. I was starving and even though I could cook, I knew Isabel would be back within the hour with Amelia's meds and food for her.

"After I eat, I'll get some sleep but you need to unwind. I'll be here when you get out."

Isabel​

Amelia thought she was slick as hell with her comment regarding me being able to let someone go and being a badass for it. I knew damn well she was talking about Nick and how this dinner date tonight wasn't going to go the way he thought. We weren't going to end it at his house with sex like we usually did. Sighing after Amelia got out of the car, I shook my head, driving out of the apartment complex and straight to the pharmacy to pick up her medication before I went to grab us some food, more specifically wings from Wing Bucket.

Looking down at my phone when I heard it vibrate, I thought it was Nick, but when I saw Dawson's name instead, I laughed when I read what the text said.

"Would it be bad if I asked you to meet me for lunch? Would Nick get upset or are you breaking up with him tonight?"

Smart ass.

"Shut the hell up. Normally I would say yes to lunch but I need to get Amelia's medication and food for the both of us. Keep being a smart ass and you won't see me ever again."

After sending the text, I drove downtown, trying my hardest to find parking.

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Rolling my eyes at Jayden's comment about needing to be taken care of, I let it slide with the way he kissed me to welcome me home. "Hmmm, I'm glad you think so, but you can have it back, you're not wearing that sweaty, gross uniform on my new couch," I whispered taking the shirt off and handing it back to him before I walked off to my room to find a different shirt to put on. Settling on a staff T-Shirt from one of the many AP events, I winced when I pulled it over my shoulders, forgetting about the wound I had to baby.

"Ahhh," I whispered before taking a deep breath, not wanting to draw attention to it. I wasn't in the mood to be scolded like I had been all morning by the doctors, nurses and Isabel.

"Well it was nice of you to try and practice your chivalry, but I can't get my incision wet for three weeks, doctor's orders," I replied walking out of the room. "I also wouldn't eat that, I don't know how long it's been in there," I said in yet another laugh. "Ummm here, you can have this!" Handing him a box of Honey Nut Cheerios, grabbing a bowl and a spoon while he tried to make a compliment out of what I was serving him.

"Only the best for you, but if you wanted something better, you should have visited Lindsey, you know I only sleep here," I replied shrugging casually, grinning at his disappointment.

"Text Isabel, I'm sure she'll take pity on the fact that I'm a horrible girlfriend who doesn't feed you after you finish fighting all the bad guys and you put your superhero cape away."

Dawson​

"I doubt that I would never see you again, I'm too irresistible for you to stay away from, even when you try. How about dinner instead? Italian?"

 

[isax]

Jayden​

Chuckling, I took the shirt from Amelia after she took it off, grinning at the bra I saw her wearing underneath before I nodded. I was glad she gave it back to me because I was not comfortable in this stupid uniform and luckily I knew I left a pair of grey sweatpants in her room.

Her incision, of course she can't get it wet you idiot.

Becoming flustered at my failed attempt of chivalry, I let it go and laughed when she warned me not to eat the food I had originally pulled out because it was more than likely old, but her counter offer of food choice brought an even louder laugh from me when she set it in front.

"You, Amelia Carson, sure are a work of art. Are you positive the milk in the fridge is still good so I can actually eat this cereal?" I asked teasingly. "Let me go change out of this uniform and then maybe, just maybe I'll order a pizza instead of bothering Isabel."

Kissing Amelia's cheek, I walked to her room where I changed out of the uniform rather quickly, putting on the shirt she gave me and the sweat pants before I walked back out and sat on the couch, patting the spot next to me when Amelia looked at me. When she did, I let her lean against me while I wrapped my arm around her, sighing softly as I turned on the tv.

"Wanna watch some SVU?" I teased.

Isabel​

"I'd say you're being a little more than arrogant, don't ya think? Italian sounds lovely. Can I meet you there around seven? I have a date with Nick at six."

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Watching Jayden reemerge into the living room I took the seat next to him, wanting to fall into him dramatically like I always did, but once again, I was reminded of the stupid pain I was in. Slowly taking the spot next to him, I sprawled myself out, laying my legs straight against the coffee table.

"I like that shirt better on you," I whispered stealing a kiss from his lips before he tried to tease me, but I didn't give him the reaction he was hoping for.

"If you don't put it on, Isabel will when she gets here," I replied in a shrug.

Hopefully, she doesn't take too long or Jayden is going to see me in a lot of pain soon and no one wants to see that.

Currently, I was fighting my body to ignore it, not wanting to draw attention to it was a bad habit of mine, but this time, I really didn't want to because I didn't want to remind Jayden why I was in pain. It would only trigger him.

Instead, I focused on my breathing as I always had when I had to deal with pain like this, counting them, until the surging stopped. I knew with Jayden out of his uniform and lounging, it was only a matter of time before he drifted off to sleep to the mummering of the tv in the background it happened every time he tried to stay awake for me.

Dawson​

"So that's how this is going to go? You're going out with your fake boyfriend and then coming to me to satisfy the needs he can't meet. That's interesting. Not sure how I feel about it."

 

[isax]

Jayden​

Not getting the reaction I originally wanted out of Amelia was sad but I enjoyed the kiss she gave me previously. Laughing softly, I nodded when she said Isabel would put on SVU if I didn't but Isabel's reason for watching it was way different from Amelia and I. We watched to joke around about how unrealistic and incorrect they did things on the show. Amelia's CJ background was more than attractive and I loved a woman who understood everything I did and how much paperwork it actually was.

"You're right about that one so let's bet her to it."

Flipping on the tv, I went to Netflix and began playing SVU from where we left off, getting comfortable on the couch and keeping Amelia close before my eyes began to shut. I never lasted staying awake when I wanted to for Amelia and I hated it but sleep sounded more than pleasing right now.

Isabel​

When Dawson texted me back, I was inside Wing Bucket, waiting for mine and Amelia's food. Before I could reply, the cashier called out my name and I walked up to the counter, taking it from her with a smile while I thanked her then walked back out to my car. When I got back in, I pulled out my phone from my purse to read the text, scoffing as I read it, shaking my head while biting the inside of my cheek in annoyance.

"You know that's not what I meant but we could just not meet up all (shrugging emoji)."

At this point I didn't know if our texting back and forth was teasing or if he genuinely didn't like that I was going "out" with Nick but I didn't give much time to dwell on it. I knew if I did I would end up in my own head and that wasn't what I wanted. You're breaking things off with Nick tonight anyways.

When I got back to Amelia's apartment, I walked in with her medication and food, laughing quietly when I saw Jayden asleep sprawled out on the couch. When I didn't find my best friend in the living room or kitchen, I walked into her room, finding her sitting on her bed.

"I came bearing gifts. Here's your medication, ya look like you could use it, and I brought Wing Bucket. Figured we needed a wholesome meal." Setting everything on the bed, I crawled onto the other side, pulling the wings in my direction so I could dig in. "Oh wait, I need a knife. What do you want to drink?"

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

Once I knew for sure Jayden was dead asleep, I carefully maneuvered out of his arms before making a stride to my room. I needed my bed. Not long after, I heard Isabel make her way inside, glaring at her when she spoke too loudly, I shushed her.

"Shhh! Jayden doesn't need to know, but thank you." Clearing her side of my bed, I rolled my eyes when she went to get up again. "You and the knife just eat it," I replied shaking my head, my first wing already in hand but I knew Isabel already made up her mind about needing the knife.

"What's the matter?" I asked when she reentered my room when she denied anything bothering her I narrowed my gaze in her direction. "I can see it in your face, you're pissed off. What's wrong?" I asked again, If there was one thing I learned about cracking her, it was that persistence was key.

"Is it Dawson or Nick?" I asked, grinning when her expression gave away I was on the right track. "Okay, you don't have to tell me, but when you want to," I suggested casually, pretending to let it go, for now, I handed her the remote, watching her thoughts percolate, I knew the next time she faced my direction it would be to spill whatever was on her mind, it happened that way every time.

Dawson​

"Hey easy now I was just pulling your leg we can meet after, your pick but it's on me"

 

[isax]

Isabel​

WRolling my eyes as I reentered the room, I sat back on my side of the bed before I began to cut into the wings I bought, breaking them apart so that I could enjoy them happily. I didn't intend for my pissed off emotions to show straight through my face but I knew better than anyone that I always wore my emotions on my sleeve and Amelia was the only one would could pick up on them as well as she did. So it was only natural that she saw right through my facade and didn't believe me when I said nothing was bothering me.

As I sat and ate my wings, my thoughts going through every single thing, I finally released a dramatic groan before looking at Amelia, not paying mind to my phone that was between us on the bed when it vibrated.

"I guess it's both of them? I don't know. I can't really blame them for how they are. Nick really thinks this dinner is going to end in sex and Dawson wants to grab Italian with me tonight so I told him I would meet up with him after I met with Nick and then he went into this spill about how he doesn't know how to feel about me going out with my fake boyfriend then meeting him because Nick can't satisfy all my needs but he can and it's just a mess."

Releasing a sigh, I tried to catch my breath, realizing I had said everything in one single breath at a rapid rate.

"I'm just ready to not have anything going with Nick. That's fucked up but I do love Dawson still but oh my gosh he's making everything so hard too! I hate men. Men are trash."

With that I got my phone and read the text from Dawson, rolling my eyes before I read his reply out loud mockingly while I typed my response.

"Spaghetti Warehouse at 7. Good luck on picking up the tab."

 

[Lexus]

Amelia ​

"Why do you have to meet with Nick for? I thought y'all never put a label on what was going on between you. From my understanding, it was nothing like your relationship with Dawson. You were never in a relationship with Nick. You both agreed it was casual. So, just call him and let him know that your casual fling or whatever you want to call it is over. You're making a bigger deal out of it then it needs to be. Call Nick, do to dinner with Dawson, do what makes you happy, it doesn't make you less of a woman, I've done it," I reminded her in another casual shrug. Before Jayden, my adult life was filled with flings because I was afraid of commitment and I was too busy focusing on my career to build something serious with another man. I confessed with to Jayden early on and while I was embarrassed when I told him, it still happened. It took it better than I anticipated, and now that I was fully committed to one man I never really dwelled on what I did in the past. I was younger then and was never too stupid about how I went about "exploring" men and what they had to offer, but when I broke it off, it was never anything serious, because there was no attachment.

"So Nick reaffirmed you want Dawson good for you, hopefully, he doesn't screw it up this time, but I have a feeling, he won't." Winking at my best friend, I moved on to the french-fry part of my meal, sighing contently, now that this boy drama was out of the way.

"You'll have to keep me updated. What are you going to wear to dinner? Cause I know how every night with Dawson comes to an end."

 

[isax]

Isabel​

Amelia was right. Nick and I were nothing serious, we never put a label on it. What we had was strictly casual and he knew that so calling things off rather than going out seemed like the better option, then I could focus on dinner with Dawson at my favorite Italian spot. It all sounded like a plan and I was ready to jump on it but hearing this kind of plan from Amelia was shocking. I never once thought she would be the one telling me to just call off a fling so I could focus on the one man and in doing so my reputation wouldn't be tarnished. It blew my mind and I couldn't help but laugh while shaking my head, shoving Amelia playfully.

"Okay, who are you and what did you do with my best friend? You're telling me that I'll be okay despite the flings I've had before Dawson? I'm shook, Best Friend but this new found confidence in you? Quite amazing if I do say so myself." Giggling at Amelia when she asked me what I was going to wear to dinner, I bite my lip.

"Oh shut it. You act like nights with Jayden don't end the same way. I don't know what I'm wearing. We're going to Spaghetti Warehouse, he said the tab was on him. Who knows what will happen after that but should I wear a dress tonight? I might freeze to death."

 

[Lexus]

Amelia​

"Night's with Jayden end how I want them to end, don't forget," I remarked, pondering about what Isabel should wear to her dinner with Dawson. It seemed like they were working things out and eventually getting back together. I expected it. Enough time had passed that Isabel could reconsider Dawson being part of her picture and that idea was enough to make her want to act on it. If I hadn't seen Dawson's change in demeanor myself, I wouldn't have been so quick to back her in this decision, but still would have let her make it anyway, for her own sake. She wasn't one to just listen, she had to act and over the years I had learned to respect her process.

"Ia he worthy of the dress move? It's only the first date. If he's the new man he claims to be, I mean. I would make him work for it all over again, a clean slate to prove himself. Hopefully, he creates a better start for y'all the second time around, because the first was a little iffy, and kinda trashy, if you ask me. Maybe if he would have tried a little harder, in the beginning, there wouldn't have been a rut in the first place. I would go with something a little bit more conservative to throw him off? Just to mess with him, it'll be funny. It's my favorite move to pull. Jayden hates it."

 

[isax]

Isabel​

I ponded what Amelia had said. As much as I would love to pull all the stops for Dawson tonight, going back to square one, wearing more of the conservative clothing would be quite an intriguing thing to do. Dawson wouldn't expect it, plus considering he claimed he was a brand new guy, making him work for everything again would be something I'd enjoy. Grinning at the thought of his reaction to me wearing some slacks and a blouse, I nodded approvingly in my head, already having an outfit in mind.

"I like the way you think best friend, and I think I got just the conservative outfit in mind, well, as conservative as my clothes can get," Laughing I continued eating with Amelia, finishing up our lunch before I threw it away in the kitchen, walking back to her bedroom where I stole one of her face masks sitting in a small container. "Want to do one with me?"

Later that night
​

Now that I was back in my own apartment, figuring out what to wear was a lot more difficult that I thought. I was now on outfit number four, sighing as I stared at myself in the mirror rather displeased with it. Groaning, I walked back into my closet, grabbing another combination of pants and blouse. Liking this option better, I walked back out of my closet and into my room, sitting at my vanity while I fixed up my hair and applied the go to red lipstick. Next was my heels and after I put them on I looked at my phone and noted how much time I had left before I had to make the drive into the city so I could meet Dawson on time. Releasing a soft sigh, I knew I had to call Nick first and that's what I did.

Dialing Nick's number on my phone and waited for him to answer. When he did, I smiled weakly we he asked if I was ready for our date tongiht.

"Actually Nick, I need to talk to you," I could tell he wasn't going to be pleased with what I said considering how concerned he sounded. "Look Nick, this past year with you has been fun but you and I both know none of this was serious, it was just casual. You're a great guy Nick but I've realized that I am not okay with keeping this going anymore so I won't be meeting you for dinner."

 

[Lexus]

Nick​

I knew what Isabel and I had wasn't supposed to be anything serious, and I should have picked up on the red flags of her avoiding my messages and not answering them at all when in the pt she was quick to accept my invitation to dinner, a movie and the 'finale' afterward. The lack of interest was apparent, but I hoped it wasn't. When she called, without answering my messages again. I assumed she was busy and calling to let me know she was ready and where we would meet considering I always let her pick. However, when I heard her voice at the other end, I got something very different than what I was expecting, this is when the red flags finally fell into place and I began to understand the situation in the way I had been avoiding all this time. We weren't anything serious and Isabel decided our arrangement was expired.

Clearing my dry throat, I seg-wayed into the conversation I dreaded since we met.

"Okay, sure, what do we need to talk about? Are you alright?" Silence She's ending it. It shouldn't sting this bad.

Hearing it only made it sting more.

"Well, if that's how you feel, then I understand. I wish you well Isabel." Without giving her to chance to say anything in response to my reply I hung up the phone. I meant what I said, I did wish her well, but I had to take my last shred of dignity and end the conversation while I was ahead. I was no fool Jayden told me Dawson made it home, and I was sure now that Dawson's return was responsible for the one thing I felt was good, but Isabel was right, nothing we had was serious, because I never had the courage to admit the feelings I had for her ran deeper than I was willing to admit to myself, let alone to her, but it didn't matter now, I lost my chance and Dawson was reaping the benefits.

 

[isax]

Isabel​

Hearing the line go dead I released a soft sigh before I set my phone back down on my vanity, staring at myself in the mirror. I knew Amelia reassured me what I just did wasn't wrong, especially because it was just something casual, but when I heard his voice, I could hear that what we had meant a lot more to him even though it was left unspoken about. Biting my lip, I groaned from frustration before I let it go and continued getting ready for my date with Dawson tonight. I settled on a silk tan camisole top with a thin dark brown jacket over it, black jeans and heels, I grabbed my thicker coat to wear over it before I nodded in satisfaction. When my look was finalized and it was closer to seven, I fed Apollo his last meal of the day before I left the apartment and drove out to Spaghetti Warehouse.

When I arrived, I walked into the restaurant, smiling at the host when she greeted me and asked for how many. When I told her Dawson's name while explaining I was here to meet him, I giggled like a child on Christmas when she led me to a table in the actual train within the restaurant. It was my favorite spot to sit and when I saw Dawson, my smile only grew bigger. Thanking the hostess, I gave Dawson a hug when he stood up, kissing his cheek before I set my coat and bag on the chair next to me and sat down.

"Well don't you look dashing." I said softly, ordering a glass of wine when our waiter came. "How was your day?"

 

[Lexus]

Dawson​

It was bizarre to me, but I was nervous about my dinner with Isabel tonight. I kept reassuring myself this was nothing new, that we weren't strangers and I knew how and when to press this woman's every button. I knew what she adored and how to use it to my advantage, and still, as I grabbed my jacket and headed out the door to meet her, my hands were shaking and I felt sick to my stomach. Even spending a year in combat, I was unable to control my thoughts and feelings when they revolved around the woman I still loved and still wanted to build a future with.

Get it together Dawson. It's Isabel.

What I came to realize on my drive to Dallas though, is that I was lying to myself about this whole thing. A year had past and it was naive of me to think every aspect of Isabel remained the same. So, this was something new and my nervousness to even approach her went with reasoning.

You can't screw up this time, She let go of another man to give you a second chance. Don't make her regret letting you back into her life after how things ended between you. Prove the change.

Arriving at The Spaghetti Factory a little earlier than we had planned, I walked inside and made my way to the hostess stand where I requested one of Isabel's favorite tables, thanking the hostess again when she was eager to help me make everything perfect for Isabel. This was my redo and I wanted to do it right, the way she deserved, unlike our original first meeting.

Ordering zinfandel and calamari to start, I decided to wait on ordering Isabel's wine, there was a chance she could have changed it up and she liked the feeling of independence and I didn't want to overstep her, if we going to restart, I had to take a step back and this time, she had to be the one to set the boundaries and expectations of the relationship if that's what she wanted to pursue, I was leaving everything up to her.

Waiting for her arrival, I sipped my wine slowly, trying to calm my thoughts about the night and what Isabel might be thinking on her way over here.

Is she just doing me a favor? Did she really want to want to break things off with Nick or did our past pressure her into it? What does she expect to come from tonight? You pissed her off earlier, that isn't exactly starting off on the right foot. Great. Maybe she's still deciding what she wants. That's okay, she doesn't owe you a damn thing even though we were quick to jump back into bed together. Did that mean anything to her> Or was it just a playful night we were supposed to move on and forget. We were both grieving then. I shouldn't have expectations because of it, right? Not unless she thinks it means something. But I need her to know I love her, I really love her. I gotta have her. Give her the letter? No, not yet, it's too soon. I don't want to overwhelm her even more than she already is now that I am back in the picture with her friends, our friends, that must be difficult to deal with.But really did that night in the sheets mean anything to her? I can't ask her now, that would be inappropriate during our reintroduction. So what do we talk about tonight? How do I not make things awkward, pretending that I don't know her is weird. Too late to wonder about it now, she's here.

Standing to greet Isabel, I took her into a friendly embrace, pulling away quickly, taking note of her less revealing outfit, not like the Isabel I knew in the past, but I still appreciated how elegant it made her look. The way she carried herself with such confidence is what made my knees weak.

Play it cool, Don't act nervous.

"You look great yourself. I like the ensemble." Pulling out her chair, I returned to my own with a grin, taking a sip of my wine again before answering her question.

"It was an okay day, just picking up the slack around the ranch, nothing exciting, but it's nice to be back. This might be strange to say but I missed the routine in it. I find it to be therapeutic, maybe because before I didn't realize how much the ranch work was ingrained in me. I missed it just as much as I missed everyone here." You included of course. "But no worries, I showered before I showed up here," I added, hoping if anything my humor would win her over again.

"But enough about me," Looking up at her, "How about you? How was your day? Did Amelia make it home alright?"

 

[isax]

Isabel​

Ah yes, the ranch. I bet he did miss that while he was away. Why wouldn't he? He literally lives there, it's in his blood to be out with the horses and fixing things up in a place his family built. Routine is his thing, you've learned that, funny considering he's an Aries. Shouldn't they be a little bit more adventurous like a Sagittarius? We are both fire signs. I should look into his chart more. Fuck, say something. Don't just sit here in silence. That's awkward. Don't you want something with him again?

Smiling gently I took a sip of my merlot and reached towards the calamari, grabbing one and dipping it in the marinara sauce before eating it with a content hum. It was still as good as I remembered it, and still one of my favorites. He remembered.

Looking back up at Dawson, I finished eating the squid before I replied.

"Ah, my day was fine. Amelia did make it home alright but not without a little fight about me taking her instead of her driving. She's in a lot of pain, I can see it in her face, despite how much she tried to hide it and reassure Jayden that she's alright. She took her medication though and ate a pretty good sized lunch so she'll be alright." Eating some more of the calamari, I focused on the food after answering the question Dawson asked while the silence took over again.

Fuck, I never thought it would be this awkward. What am I doing wrong? This isn't the first time we've been out. Hello, he knows how to push all my buttons and when as good as Amelia. We know each other so well so why is keeping up a conversation so fucking hard right now? Wait, he worked the ranch today? Is he not a pilot for the Blue Angels anymore? It would make sense if he isn't considering what Amelia said about him not coming home in a good mental headspace. That's gotta suck. He loved flying. I should ask him about it. Actually don't. Too touchy of a subject. God just fucking say something. Anything for fuck sake.

"I bet your family missed the hell out of you. How are they? I haven't talked to Brett in awhile. He and Savannah still doin' good?" I asked in an attempt to break the silence, hoping we didn't stick on the topic of his family much considering I felt like they thought so little of me.

 

[Lexus]

Dawson​

She doesn't know what to say, make better conversation. Her talking about your family has always been the last resort.

"Savannah and Brett are doing better than most of us, actually, they got married on the fly I guess and now they're having a baby. Brett's pretty happy about it, but I don't seem him giving up the bull riding any time soon, it's good money and he's crazy enough to actually like doing it. But we shouldn't really talk much about the Covingtons, don't you think? It only boosts our ego. What have you been up to in the last year? Anything exciting as far as work?" When she tried to blow it off in effort to be humble I tried harder because I knew her career is something she loved to talk about but she always pushed it to the side unless she was with Amelia, then they would talk each other's ears off about assignments, deadlines, equipment. The conversation I learned was never-ending.

"Oh C'mon! There has to be something. You don't have an assignment you're itching to talk about? I find that hard to believe, Isabel. Now that you're back in the swing of things, I'm sure things are going well for you. You're naturally talented in what you decided to go into. You should be proud of that and boast about it to everyone, not just your best friend," I said right before the waiter came to offer a brief intermission in our conversation by offering to refill my wine and take our dinner order. As usual, I settled on spaghetti.

"So, what's the latest in the portfolio? I want to know."

 

[isax]

Isabel​

Aha work. I should sugarcoat some of the things right? Why does he want to know about work so bad? There isn't much to spill. I've kinda dropped photography and my stories are all co-written pretty much. Bleh.

When the waiter came back to take our order I was more than grateful. I needed a small break from the conversation Dawson started so I was quick to order the usual chicken parm.

I could talk about work and the stories I was working for days but lately I just haven't been into what I've been doing. I loved being part of the investigative team, loved working in the bat cave and doing some nitty gritty investigating but something about it was just off and I hadn't talked to anyone about it. The only one who could understand was Amelia and she wasn't necessarily in good health for me to tell this to.

"Mm their isn't really much in the portfolio if we're being honest. Since I've taken on investigative work the stories I've done aren't plentiful. It takes up a lot of my time, a lot of my thoughts, and there's not a lot of us so we do the best that we can with what we got. I can't talk about the current story we're doing but the one we just recently wrapped up was about money laundering in city hall. It was kind of boring, kind of interesting but it wasn't really my thing."

I shrugged then, not knowing what else to say about what I was doing.

"I haven't really touched my camera much. I think I just needed a break and now I miss it and I also haven't done any stories on my own yet. Considering all the drama going on with the border I would love to do inside reporting on that but not just from an Americans point of view ya know? Like Mexico and America, how does it affect us both, and I think we need some real life stories from those it's affecting like immigrants in the detention facilities. There's a lot I think needs coverage but I'm here in Dallas reporting on money laundering."

 

[Lexus]

Dawson​

She's unhappy. She's always hated routine. I guess not as much has changed as I thought.

Nodding in understanding, I thanked the waiter when he returned with my second wine glass.

"So you finally made it to investigating big cases huh? I'm proud of you. I'm sure you never thought you would make it that far but you proved yourself wrong, again. I wish I could say I was happy for you, I want to be but, I can see it in your face you're not happy. You want something more. Typical Isabel fashion." I teased with a wink.

"So what's keeping you from doing what you really want? You never liked routine, I should be surprised you made it this far with the same team, but the only reason I'm not is that your dedication to others tends to run deeper than your aspirations for yourself and Isabel without a camera? That's unheard of, even when you were in your slump you still clung to it, maybe because back then it was the only thing in your life that remained normal, even if you switched to studio work, it was still something that made you feel alive, even just for a little while. Forgive me for inserting my opinion, I know it's been a year, and a year can change a lot, but I think, if you're feeling stuck, then it's time to move on. Do what you really want to do, there's no better time to do, otherwise, you're never going to do it, just continue to fantasize about it until you give up on the goal completely. I think you need to do this one thing for yourself. Pick up the camera and go get the story, without thinking who will pick it up and what you're leaving behind, that will all be here when you get back. The difference is you are finally be doing something because it means something to you and you're not doing it to please someone else. I don't think there's anyone better to tell that story than the woman I am sitting across from."

Letting the silence linger I sipped from the wine glass, continuing to use it as a crutch to get me through the awkward pauses. Right now I was scolding myself mentally for possible overstepping a boundary. When it came to Isabel's life and how I felt she should live it, I had a tendency to include myself. It was a bad habit, one that was responsible for ending us.

So much for that redo. What now? Change the subject. Move on.

Clearing my dry throat I kept the smile on my face.

"But anyway, what else is new?"

 

[isax]

Isabel​

Huh, never though Dawson would find it in him to say something like that considering how things ended. God, he's just trying to help, I know that but I hate when people throw shit like that in my face, shit that I know they're right about. Why haven't I just gone out to get the story like he said? Why haven't I just given up the DMN and moved on? Is it because I'm comfortable? Because I feel like I owe the DMN more considering I haven't been with them long? Because I haven't really made a name for myself? No, it's none of that. I know damn well why I'm holding myself back. I am not good enough to tell stories like that, never have been and never will be. I've settled. Oh god, I've settled.

Settling. It's a shitty eight letter word meaning I've become so comfortable with the life I have that I stopped being the usual impulsive and adventurous woman from before. It means I've fallen victim to routine, doing what needs to get done just so that everything I owned was paid for. I stopped thinking about myself and started adding others into the equation that had prohibited me from doing something more because I hate hurting people despite how many times I've been hurt. It was the only thing that could send me into a spiral of thoughts because it meant somewhere along the way I've lost myself and that was the most shitty part about all of this.

I let the silence linger longer than intended after Dawson made me realize what I was doing with my life. How could I break out of this stupid day-to-day routine that I've put myself in? The answer was simple. Leave the DMN, go on a story I actually want to do and sell it. Sell my work, my story. Get out there and tell stories of some amazing people who haven't been given the chance to be heard because I know I'm the only one that can.

Be what you always told yourself you wouldn't. A freelance multiskilled journalist. Put yourself on a much bigger market.

That was a big step I wasn't sure I was entirely ready for.

Clearing my throat, I smiled gently at Dawson when he asked another question to direction the conversation somewhere else. He knew he struck a nerve but it wasn't in a negative way. I needed to hear it.

"There isn't really anything new. I moved to investigative work, I moved back into the same apartment from before, living in the slums as you like to call it but I love my little barrio. Back at home everyone's pretty much doing what they've always done. Nothing new, unfortunately. What about you? Any plans on what to do from here on out?"

 

[Lexus]

Dawson​

"I haven't been back long enough to know. I didn't think that far ahead, honestly. I just wanted out." Silence again. "I, uh, it's too late in the season to reach out to the Blue Angels. Maybe next season though. I haven't decided what I'm doing yet. I just want to lay low on the ranch for now. It's not like I need a job anyways."

She laughed. Breathe.

"I guess old money has its perks after all. Whatta ya think?"

This was my attempt to "break the ice" that still remained between us. I hoped it worked because I had things planned for us after dinner, but only if dinner went well.

 

[isax]

Isabel​

I laughed when Dawson said it wasn't like he needed a job because it was true, he didn't, but I on the other hand could never relate to that statement. I would always need a job. It's one of the reasons I couldn't just quit and go report on the border.

"I think you are still as privileged as ever," I began but I gave him that teasing grin before I took a sip of my wine and finished off the sentence, "But just this once I'm lucky ya got the old money to fall on. I think you've deserved some time to just lay low and focus on yourself, don't you?"

The rest of dinner went rather well. After we were both able to break the ice and carry on a decent conversation we were able to enjoy each others company just a little more and now I didn't want the night to end. When the waiter brought the tab I was quick to snatch it, laughing when Dawson gave me that annoyed expression while holding his hand out. As if I would just cough it up that easy.

"It's fine, Six. I got it. You're not that expensive." Giggling, I squealed when he reached for the tab and pulled it out of my hand, quickly covering my face when everyone around us looked at us in confusion. Blushing from embarrassment, I let out another laugh. "Oops."

As we walked out of the restaurant and towards our cars, I let out a soft sigh before I looked up at the cowboy, biting my lip.

"Does the night have to end so early? I would love to continue our date night."

 

[Lexus]

Dawson​

"Would you now?" I asked playfully. "Good thing I have a few more ideas up my sleeve then." Walking over to her parking spot I grabbed a chunk of quarters out of my pocket, feeding the meter to the max, doing the same to my truck, chuckling at Isabel's festering curiosity of where the night was going to go. "Let's go!" Taking her hand, I ran out of the parking lot and down the street, dragging Isabel with me until I found what I was looking for.

"Ah ha! here we go! Are you ready?" I asked paying for the scooters to explore downtown Dallas. "What? You can't be scared, can you, Miss Investigative Journalist. I thought you wanted to try this out? I mean, if you don't want to, we can take the trucks to get pie. It's up to you."

I was only challenging her because I knew she thrived off of the attention. This was only the start to our night.