Viewpoint Age in RP

[Solivagante]

this is actually a great point!

i think it's a complicated web of different dynamics, e.g. minors being paranoid about this sort of thing is a very different thing from adults doing the same. i think on the minors side it is in part the lack of specific child spaces - since minors have to build their own communities, being vigilant becomes especially important for the minors themselves. i'm much more sympathetic to a paranoid minor than to an adult who simply doesn't care about the simple courtesy of being nice to a kid on the internet. i totally get that minors sticking their nose into things they shouldn't is a real thing, and it is annoying and can be dangerous, but i also think there's a concerning rise in the "i hate kids they're stupid and snotty" attitude that just. is kind of disgusting honestly.

like the important thing about the whole "protecting minors" scare happening on the right is that they're not actually concerned about minors. they're concerned about preserving the nuclear family, a structure in which children are posed as property of the parents. the whole thing is actually about the rights of parents if you dig into it - they hate to see minors have autonomy, they hate to see minors having multiple support structures, they hate to see a minor being able to be a person outside of their parents. what actually, provably protects children is having multiple trusted, not heavily related adults in their life they can confide in, because that ensures that if one support pillar fails them, they can fall back on someone else. this whole culture scare is about creating a boogeyman nobody would look good defending, i.e. predators, and using it as a scapegoat. they do not think about children, about the actual safety of actual children, and instead focus on getting themselves the moral high ground.

[trimmed for length]

Oh, I 100% agree with everything you're saying here - the politicization is not by or for minors themselves, and it's a political weapon. Thing is, I'm a queer adult, and that means that my existence is treated as a corrupting, sexualized influence (despite the fact that I'm ace, which is ironic), and for my own safety and comfort I find it necessary to put up guardrails in how I interact with minors, especially online where interactions can be a little more... fluid.

My big one is that I'd like my conversations with folks who are underage to take place in a public forum, IE not in DMs. GrumpySwallow mentioned this too; it feels like a way to reduce the risk of being accused of impropriety. How rational that feeling is, I'm frankly not sure, but that's where my comfort level is personally. And since DMs are usually the venue for planning 1x1 RPs, this means no 1x1s with minors for me. If I ever get around to running a group RP, it will be age-blind, but that is also a different interpersonal dynamic.

The point you've made about the importance of minors having other adults to turn to is an important one, though I think the ideal would be for those other adults to be present IRL, rather than just words on a screen. That said, we don't live in an ideal world, and some people can only find community online, so... there is no neat and tidy solution. More dedicated spaces for minors is an interesting concept, and would be a step in the right direction, but poses some challenges - EG, how do you ensure everyone in that space actually is a minor? Identity verification poses privacy issues which are compounded by the folks involved being underage, but could a site truly be a safe space without something like that? Etc. (Plus the fact that 'minor' encompasses such a wide range of ages and therefore maturity levels, interests, writing skills... you'd have to set a lower age cutoff as well, or cater to everything from Webkinz and Minecraft on up to... I don't actually know what's popular with teens, I am out of touch with The Youths.)

On a smaller scale, I could see a site like RPN setting up a dedicated forum for minors, or at least a dedicated 1x1 recruitment, with a simple checkbox 'are you under 18' as part of profile creation to qualify for entry? That doesn't tackle the larger issue, but it might be useful for some folks at least.


P.S. I saw someone above mention an 18+ HP thread? That's absurd. First off, we as a society have progressed past the need to give JKR attention - but second, way to just miss ALL the points of the books. At that stage, just pick a random liberal arts school for inspo pics and create your own wizard college.

 

[cuzn]

i joined this site when i was a minor - i'm 21 now, and just skipped past a post that was labeled [25+] and was suddenly reminded of a post i made on this forum, iirc the day before my 18th birthday, when a partner ghosted me for being a minor even though they never mentioned being unwilling to rp with minors and the rp hadn't started yet (and they themselves were 18. lol). i used to get pretty irritated over the tone that was used when talking about the subject - i never had a problem with adults being unwilling to rp with minors, but all of the posts i read with that rule seemed so rude about it to me. i guess i was just sensitive to that type of stuff.

now, i've got the experience of being an adult and on the other side of things, and on one hand i understand it, but i still wish there was some type of avenue for minors to rp. for me, the only alternative i had were kid's games, and the level i was writing at was leagues above the rps games i found on roblox, lol, so i just started writing by myself and hoping someone would look my way. i don't really ask minors to rp with me, and nobody's ever asked me to rp with them before, but if a minor did ask me for an rp, it'd probably depend on their exact age and on the rp subject. i love platonic rps, so that would be cool with me, but romance would be a trickier sell, and i'd probably be a lot more skeptical in regards to if my personality actually meshes with the person at all.

thing is, it's very easy to lie about your age on this site. lying about your personal info on the internet isn't as common as it used to be (actually, now people are giving too much information - almost as if they forgot that someone online can sleuth your exact location through your timezone and a few context clues provided through conversation!) but it's very possible, especially on rpnation. the accounts here aren't usually cross-platform, and it's a free registration with little to no verification. all of the security measures are strictly done by goodwill, the ol' "i hope you're telling the truth" method of the internet. it'd be naive of me to think that putting "18+ only!!!" would make me safe from the cocomelon kids, and even then, i've met people older than myself who act like children, so it just requires a bit of discernment. age isn't always equal to maturity

 

[Jannah]

i joined this site when i was a minor - i'm 21 now, and just skipped past a post that was labeled [25+] and was suddenly reminded of a post i made on this forum, iirc the day before my 18th birthday, when a partner ghosted me for being a minor even though they never mentioned being unwilling to rp with minors and the rp hadn't started yet (and they themselves were 18. lol). i used to get pretty irritated over the tone that was used when talking about the subject - i never had a problem with adults being unwilling to rp with minors, but all of the posts i read with that rule seemed so rude about it to me. i guess i was just sensitive to that type of stuff.

now, i've got the experience of being an adult and on the other side of things, and on one hand i understand it, but i still wish there was some type of avenue for minors to rp. for me, the only alternative i had were kid's games, and the level i was writing at was leagues above the rps games i found on roblox, lol, so i just started writing by myself and hoping someone would look my way. i don't really ask minors to rp with me, and nobody's ever asked me to rp with them before, but if a minor did ask me for an rp, it'd probably depend on their exact age and on the rp subject. i love platonic rps, so that would be cool with me, but romance would be a trickier sell, and i'd probably be a lot more skeptical in regards to if my personality actually meshes with the person at all.

thing is, it's very easy to lie about your age on this site. lying about your personal info on the internet isn't as common as it used to be (actually, now people are giving too much information - almost as if they forgot that someone online can sleuth your exact location through your timezone and a few context clues provided through conversation!) but it's very possible, especially on rpnation. the accounts here aren't usually cross-platform, and it's a free registration with little to no verification. all of the security measures are strictly done by goodwill, the ol' "i hope you're telling the truth" method of the internet. it'd be naive of me to think that putting "18+ only!!!" would make me safe from the cocomelon kids, and even then, i've met people older than myself who act like children, so it just requires a bit of discernment. age isn't always equal to maturity

While I do personally have a rule of doing 1x1 only with those 18+ I'm sure some younger have probably slipped through the cracks as I don't generally ask about age. I very much run on a "don't ask, don't tell" sort of policy regarding this. If you're mature, write well, and don't mention being a minor then I would probably never know.

 

[nerdy tangents]

I feel like linking age in maturity in a way is a bit of a cutting off your nose to spite your face situation.

As someone who does write with minors, truthfully they tend to be more mature than older roleplayers. As older roleplayers tend to have pre-existing baggage which makes them more likely to lash out at perceived wrongs.

With minors honestly the biggest problem I run into is scheduling. But that’s not exclusive to minors it’s just the only issue I have ever had when writing with one.

No lack of maturity or even inability to chat about our lives. It helps that I do mostly fandom roleplays so there is a shared interest built in. But still. The whole “minors aren’t mature” crowd are missing out on some drama free partners if you ask me.

 

[Jannah]

I feel like linking age in maturity in a way is a bit of a cutting off your nose to spite your face situation.

As someone who does write with minors, truthfully they tend to be more mature than older roleplayers. As older roleplayers tend to have pre-existing baggage which makes them more likely to lash out at perceived wrongs.

With minors honestly the biggest problem I run into is scheduling. But that’s not exclusive to minors it’s just the only issue I have ever had when writing with one.

No lack of maturity or even inability to chat about our lives. It helps that I do mostly fandom roleplays so there is a shared interest built in. But still. The whole “minors aren’t mature” crowd are missing out on some drama free partners if you ask me.

It really depends on one's RP interests I'd say. Like, I do delve into heavy topics I may not necessarily be comfortable fully opening up about if I know my partner is a minor.

 

[Nu Epiq]

I feel like maturity does depend on the person. I've seen some real immature adults and minors all around but as a teenager, your brain is still growing and really doesn't fully develop until your late twenties so certain situations can't be grasped as to whether they are good or bad.
If I had a kid there's no way in hell I would let them write stories or chat with an adult online. It just would not happen even if it was some My Little Pony Pokemon Digimon Harry Potter whatever story. It's not happening. I would have to ask what would a grown person need to talk/write with a minor that they can't do with someone their own age.

 

[nerdy tangents]

It really depends on one's RP interests I'd say. Like, I do delve into heavy topics I may not necessarily be comfortable fully opening up about if I know my partner is a minor.

But my point is that isn’t a sign of a lack of maturity on the part of the minor.

That is you setting a boundary for yourself and your own comfort, which is absolutely your right as a writer.

But your boundary is not indicative of a lack of character on someone else’s part.

Given you don’t ask for age anyway I expect in practice what your actually uncomfortable about isn’t the age of the person receiving the information but their inability to handle it in a respectful manner.

Which can be true for people of any age. If anything depending on the nature of the heavy topic your more likely to get an immature response from an adult.

As they might have some kind of bias against the topic that means they don’t take it seriously or treat it in a flippant manner.