pansexualbread

i don’t remember how i old i was when my mom found out i was self harming. maybe 9 or 10. 11 maybe. not quite sure but i remember how and it makes me really sad and i’ve been thinking about it and i just need to vent.

I had been cutting myself with scissors since i was little and i made the greatest mistake i could ever make by cutting myself in an obvious place. I am so thankful i was doing it in an obvious place, because people wouldn’t have noticed anything. Anyways, we were in the car at a therapy appointment, but we arrived early so we were just waiting. I was bored so i forced my sister to play rock paper scissors with me. I was cutting myself on my wrists so i was playing with the opposite hand and was holding my cut wrist against my body to hide it. I eventually forgot everything and completely exposed my cut up wrist and my sister noticed immediately. I saw her face change and i immediately tried to hide it. She paused, then leaned to my brother in the front seat and whispered something to him. I saw his face change, then i looked the other way, trying to not cry and scream and panic. I don’t know how or when my brother told my mom, or if my sister told my mom, or what but when we got home my mom took me upstairs to her room and talked to me.

I don’t have a relationship with that sister anymore but i never told her thank you for telling my mom and i don’t think i’ll ever get the chance. I was so mad when it first happened, because i couldn’t continue harming me which is an awful thing to think about but i wish so badly i could have told her how much i appreciate her telling somebody.