elusivethought

elusivethought · Oct 28, 2016

Right before I fall asleep my brain always loves to play "Bug Flying About the Room or Plastic Bag Flapping in the Fan's Breeze?: The Game."

elusivethought · Oct 18, 2016

GAIZ

GAIZ

I GOT A RAISE AT WORK

elusivethought · Oct 16, 2016

Me: *looks at profile* omg only two likes away from 100 likes!

*tries to think of something clever people will like*

*fails*

elusivethought · Oct 13, 2016

It's quiet at Storm's workplace. It's a calm, peaceful sort of quiet that is making everyone doze off at their desks. Even the phones hardly dare to ring.

Storm's Stomach: WOULD NOW BE A GOOD TIME TO ANNOUNCE THAT I WOULD REALLY LIKE A DONUT OR TWO?

elusivethought · Oct 12, 2016

If I crumble Halloween Oreos into a bowl and pour milk over them, does it make it a more acceptable breakfast than eating them plain like I did this morning?

elusivethought · Oct 11, 2016

breakroom bumblebee: that's a nice lunch you're having there

breakroom bumblebee: it'd be a shame if someone

breakroom bumblebee: BUZZED ALL AROUND IT

me: enjoy your lunch sir I'll just be in the next room

elusivethought · Oct 11, 2016

Me when I get a like on a comment/post:

elusivethought · Oct 6, 2016

That moment when you start crying hysterically because you think you injured your kitten while playing, when really he just lost one of his kitten teeth.

elusivethought · Oct 5, 2016

You know what'll really wake you up in the morning?

Sitting on a freezing cold toilet.

elusivethought · Oct 4, 2016

My boss: "All right, see ya later, yeah?"

Me: "Sí."

Y'all, I haven't used Spanish in like, four years. Wth?

elusivethought · Oct 3, 2016

Them: You're going to make a meal out of chips and queso?

Me: Plz I do it all the time.

elusivethought · Sep 28, 2016

Who wants to go to the dentist for me tomorrow?

The Kingkiller · Sep 24, 2016

Haiiiiiiiiii.

elusivethought · Sep 24, 2016

When your sister tryna wake you up too early but then she says "can we get donuts?"

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elusivethought · Sep 21, 2016

Actual picture of me today at work:

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elusivethought · Sep 20, 2016

Me every time I create a new character:

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elusivethought · Sep 19, 2016

Am I the only one obsessed with the iMessage handwritten messages?

elusivethought · Sep 19, 2016

I realized something important today. This afternoon I looked into the mirror. What did I see? I saw a reflection of myself. And upon closer inspection I saw that I had a huge particle of food in my teeth. "How long was it there?" you ask. Well, I'll tell you. All afternoon. All. Damn. Afternoon. Then it hit me. It really hit me, tugging and twisting at my stomach.

I realized that, despite they all say, in spite of all their empty assurances...I have no friends at work.