How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real
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I have the heart of a lion. And also a lifetime ban from the zoo, but that's not important.
So, I just found out Chester Bennington died yesterday. All I can say is: fuck there goes another one.
What do snipers feel when shooting people? The recoil.
My girlfriend wanted to be treated like a princess. So I strapped her to a Mercedes and drove it into a wall.
If I turned myself invisible and beat a mime to death, he would get a standing ovation.
People shouldn't make fun of the disabled. They can't stand up for themselves, you know.
Hitler's killer is my hero.
I somehow went from watching a video on fruits to a video on magnetic linear accelerators in about five clicks.
WAKE UP gshabdahb MAKE UP hdfskbakbfk SHAKE UP wgjklakjafj TABLE hegfjhafhja FABLE YOU WANTED TO
People shouldn't make Hitler jokes. They make me fuhrerious.
Boom goes the rocket that I pulled out of my pocket.
Suffer not the alien to live.
Let me tell you a joke. Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... just kidding! He can't.
Cheeki Breeki.
The grammar of some people on this site is simply... incredible.
"Dad, why is my sister's name Rose?" "Because your mother likes roses." "What about me?" "Enough questions, Skyrim Legendary Edition."
Beginning of Steam sales: "I'M READY FOR A MIRACLE!" End of Steam sales: "Sweet Lord Gaben have mercy on my wallet."
Steam sales had me like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fA2yV2i04c
*Me trying to socialise* Girl: "What are your talents?" Me: "Yes."
My brother watched Dr. Strange yesterday and now won't stop talking about how great an actor Bacondick Cabbagepatch is.
Just reached Lab X-18 in Shadow of Chernobyl. I can safely say that it's probably the scariest gaming experience so far.
Red vs Blue Season 15 is fucking amazing.
Me: "I'm gonna do something productive." Inner me: "Watch this YouTube video on the mutant creatures of Chernobyl."
Overwatch fans: "Overwatch is better than TF2!" TF2 fans: "No, TF2 is better!" Me: "CAN'T STOP THE SHIP!"
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