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Word of the day: Hmm'd or Hm'd. It's a word I invented a long time ago. It has one specific use as a dialogue tag for when a character says "Hmmm..." or any variation thereof.

Harry and Ron: Ugh! This sucks! We have to do one foot essays!

The average length of a sheet of loose leaf paper is 11 inches. I would kill for essays that short. You little pricks have no right to complain!

Jesus multiclassed too many times.

You know what's annoying? I can't insult anyone. Call somebody an idiot in school? Detention. Call someone a hypocrite on an internet forum? Infraction and sometimes even a full on temp ban. It's just... really annoying.

Default Avatar Anonymity Law: Users who never set an avatar beyond the default one are virtually indistinguishable from one another.

• Corollary: The longer a user goes without setting an avatar beyond the default one the more likely they are to leave the forums and never retu

• Bigger Fish Law: Anyone who claims to be the biggest fan of a given work or artist never is.

It's back.

Things your english teacher was wrong about: Using said is bad.

Using said is fine. Sure you shouldn't use it in excess but using too many alternative dialogue tags are even worse. Nobody will take you seriously if your characters "hiss" or "growl" every line. If you don't want to use said try describing the character's actions instead. Saying that your character slammed the desk communicates what you're trying to potray much better than any said bookism.

That being said, some said bookisms are fine. "Asked" is perfectly fine so long as a character is asking a question. "Shouted" is another okay one so long as your character is actually speaking loudly. Heck, sometimes even "growled" is acceptable. But you should never use them in excess. Otherwise people will think your a bad writer who constantly has Thesaurus.Com open in another tab.

Future Archeologists: *Finds an anime figurine*
Future Archeologists: It's for ritual purposes.

Similarities between Britain and the US: Nobody likes us. Literally nobody. Everybody hates Britain, everybody hates the US. It's just a fact of life that we are very unlikeable countries that have done, are doing, and will do terrible things.

Kill every last one of them!

English Teacher: Your villains need to be complicated and nuanced with a backstory that explains why they're doing evil. Otherwise, it's bad writing.
Maleficent, Ursula, Emperor Palpetine, and others: Am I a joke to you?

Have you ever noticed that irl dictators tend to look a lot like the villains in movie adapttions of Shakespeare plays?

Everything happens for a reason, even if that reason isn't a good one.

Romeo and Juliet is the story of two people who knew eachother for about a week and decided to get married and then commited mutual suicide for no reason. And people base their relationships off of this.

Maybe it's because I'm Asexual or maybe I just don't understand love period, but I cannot fathom how this is romantic. If anything it's a very dark comedy.

Why did Hamlet even bother with all the murder stuff. The prophecy said he'd be king so he could have just gone on with his life as normal and wind up king anyway and then later when he inevitably got to tired or to old to be king he'd hand the kingship over to the other dude. Problem solved.

You know Satan has it better than Jesus when you think about it.

He rules in hell, gets to torture and screw with all the people he wants, and almost never has to deal with the negative consequences for his actions because he's actually some metaphor for hubris or gullibility or something.

Meanwhile, Jesus died in an excruciating manner (the word excruciating was literally made up to describe his pain) for a bunch of ungrateful bastards who twist his words to justify their actions and still lives with his dad.

There is no war in Ba Sing Se.

There's an unused script for Archie where Archie, Betty, and Veronica discover threesomes.

Historians: *Don't know what an ancient object is*
Historians: It's for ritual purposes.

Let's get down to business to defeat the nuns.

Somehow forgot this one:

• Law of Account Links: People with the same name and avatar in different sites are almost always the same person.
  • Exception: Popular people don't count, as the account could be an imposter pretending to be them.

I am Ferdinand von Aegir.

If there's one thing that the US and Britain have in common it's that we're both stuck up narcissists with massive egos who think that we're right and everyone else is wrong.

Idea: Anubis weighing the hearts of the dead against a feather, but it's a game show.

Fun fact: The pain Jesus went through so much pain while being crucified that they had to invent a new word, excruciating, just to describe it.